Dave and Chuck - Long by Channel B - Dailymotion

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00:00What are you doing now, Chuck?

00:01Well, with 17 flavors of 5-Hour Energy, it's kind of hard to decide, so I'm playing Spin the Bottle.

00:07What? Are you 12?

00:10Look, it's pointed right at you.

00:13Get away from me. Get away from me!

00:23Here's a question for you.

00:25Have you ever had anything stuck in you?

00:28Mm-hmm.

00:30That was a pretty quick joke.

00:31Have you ever had anything stuck in you?

00:33We'll tell you what an ER doctor just had to deal with as he reveals it in this new TikTok.

00:39But what about you?

00:40What have you had stuck in you, you or your partner?

00:44And it doesn't have to be a sex toy, of course.

00:46You can call us, 1-855-954-6969.

00:50That's the Dave and Chuck lines, 1-855-954-6969.

00:54What have you had stuck in you?

00:55Or you can text us on the 5-Hour Energy text line at 4-6969.

01:01This ER doctor has gone viral for revealing the most outrageous object he's ever removed from a patient's ass.

01:10Oh, wow.

01:11This is what he says.

01:12He and his girlfriend got a little crazy last night or maybe two days ago, put something up there, and he can't get it out.

01:20I said, you know what?

01:20No judgment.

01:21I get it.

01:22This was a Yankee candle.

01:24A Yankee candle?

01:24I'm not talking about just the little baby one.

01:26I'm talking about the desktop jar.

01:28What?

01:29And not just the top, but the whole damn thing.

01:32It's possible.

01:32Pumpkin spice candle up your ass.

01:34I've seen stuff that, you know, there are ladies just putting on cam shows that are putting things in places that are just so gigantic.

01:43It's like Yankee candles, nothing.

01:46And so it's shocking, but I just, I know the human body can handle it.

01:53It's just makes no sense.

01:55You can't handle it because you can't get out.

01:57You're just saying the size of it.

01:58I'm just saying you can get it in there.

02:00Right.

02:00You can get it in there.

02:02That's crazy.

02:02You don't, you want to keep it out a bit, you know, but you can get it in there.

02:08Let's head to the Dave and Chuck lines here.

02:11Dave is with us in Boston.

02:13Dave, we're talking about something you've had stuck inside of you.

02:17So my wife and I went out to eat.

02:20We had spent some time at the hospital in Boston for our child, but we were there and we were depressed.

02:26We were stressed out.

02:27And she's very picky eater.

02:29Her burger came out and it was wrong.

02:32She is a very picky eater.

02:34So there's nothing, she wanted nothing on it, but it came with everything on it.

02:37She slammed her hand down on the burger and the skewer went right through her hand and my jaw like hit the table.

02:44It was, it was wild.

02:45She ended up having surgery after, and there was like a piece of cellophane from the skewer in her hand.

02:51Oh.

02:52Yeah.

02:53You gotta, you know, just get that burger.

02:55Right.

02:55Yeah.

02:56You get upset.

02:57You know, you do.

02:58You get upset.

02:59Yeah.

02:59Sometimes they put, so sometimes it's like a little like wooden skewer, but sometimes it's like metal.

03:04So yeah, I'm, I don't slam, but just because it has all the stuff on it, I'm not going to squish it with my hands.

03:10But I mean.

03:11One time, thank God it didn't get stuck in me.

03:13I did something like that with a clubhouse sandwich.

03:15I didn't realize there was a, like toothpick in it.

03:19You took a big ass bite?

03:20I took a bite and it got stuck like in here.

03:22Oh.

03:22Not good.

03:23Oh, the worst pain.

03:24Not good.

03:26Son of a bitch.

03:27Be careful.

03:28That's why they put those little frilly things on the top.

03:30I think so.

03:30Yeah.

03:31They give you a warning.

03:31There ain't no frills on this one.

03:33Um, someone said I had a, had a condom stuck in me two times.

03:40Sorry about that.

03:42They're a little big.

03:43They're a little bit big.

03:44He never should have went with the Magnus.

03:46I didn't.

03:47It doesn't matter what I go.

03:49You even went with the Juniors.

03:50Yeah.

03:51It doesn't matter.

03:52I hope not.

03:53Right?

03:53Because that is a disturbing name.

03:55Oh my God.

03:55That is a disturbing name.

03:58That is a disturbing.

03:59Well, what would you call it if you were ever going to call it smaller,

04:02but you didn't want to call it small?

04:04Um, I don't know.

04:07Tight.

04:09Tight.

04:09I would call, yeah, right?

04:11It's probably a better, better description.

04:13I don't know about slim fit.

04:16Snug.

04:18But Juniors, you don't think?

04:20No, you can't call it that.

04:23You can't call it that.

04:24Junior condoms.

04:25You know.

04:27I think Slim Fit.

04:28Slim Fit, and it feels like a jean to me, but I don't, I don't know.

04:35But it's kind of like it's tinier, but you don't say tiny.

04:38Yeah.

04:38I mean, that's a tough one because no one wants to buy that.

04:43But you know, you have to sometimes.

04:44Right.

04:45You have to.

04:46What do they call it?

04:47Just small?

04:47I don't even know if they have them, to be totally honest.

04:50I really don't know.

04:52Honestly, I've never thought of that before right now.

04:53They have to, they have to have it.

04:57Oh, they, snug is a thing.

04:59Snug.

04:59How did you know that?

05:00Small slash snug.

05:01How did you know that?

05:02How did you know they were called snug?

05:03How did you get the word right?

05:05I don't know.

05:07You guys dismissed it so quickly, too.

05:10We did.

05:11I figured you're packing heat.

05:14Snug, regular or standard, large and extra large.

05:17Oh, man.

05:19Oh, that's embarrassing.

05:22They're called snug.

05:24The smallest one?

05:25Snug would be a great name.

05:27That's what I heard.

05:28I made up snug.

05:29That's what I heard.

05:30No, he nailed it like right away.

05:32Yeah, snug.

05:33I mean.

05:34Snug, you got the wrong snug.

05:36Then you thought it was all a joke.

05:38I did.

05:39I did.

05:40Oh, no.

05:40Don't show me this.

05:41Don't show me the picture of the sizes.

05:44Oh, no.

05:45Oh, let's see.

05:46Oh, my God.

05:47Look at that little guy.

05:48You hate to know you should be in a snug.

05:50You hate to know exactly what my penis looks like.

05:55All right.

05:56Oh, man.

05:57Went too far.

05:58Let's go on here.

06:00Anthony is with us.

06:01Anthony, we're talking about something you got stuck inside.

06:03You or someone else?

06:05It's actually something that got stuck inside of someone else.

06:08It's the condom thing you guys were talking about.

06:10Even if you have something that's curved, there's nothing that you can put.

06:16No condom will be able to fit that won't get stuck inside somebody.

06:20It's happened multiple times.

06:21Oh, wow.

06:22So the curve really messes with the flow.

06:24Like you've got the gonzo dong?

06:26Yeah, a little bit.

06:27A little bit.

06:28Okay.

06:29All right.

06:30Yeah.

06:30And so that happens a lot.

06:32It starts pulling on the side, you know, like it pulls the edge.

06:35Yeah, it pulls the edge right off.

06:37So it's happened like three or four times.

06:39So I just go bare.

06:41Yeah, well, that's dangerous stuff.

06:42Wow, that is dangerous.

06:43That is.

06:44That's what you got to do.

06:45Yeah, I know.

06:46Be careful, man.

06:49Be careful, dude.

06:51Just saying.

06:51Yeah.

06:52Just saying.

06:53You got to do what you got to do.

06:55Someone said I had a needle break off in my right foot.

06:58You don't want to step on a needle by mistake, you know?

07:03Were you shooting?

07:04No, I mean, I think I've stepped on a needle in my house before that one of my kids was

07:10going through a closet and knocked over like a little tiny plastic thing that was full

07:15of just needles and then didn't really tell anybody.

07:19Yeah, like sewing.

07:20I don't know what you do with them.

07:22You pin fabric together with it or whatever, and one went right into my foot.

07:28And then I was like, what happened here?

07:30Oh, I dropped a hundred needles.

07:32Oh, great.

07:33My buddy had a bottle of shampoo up there.

07:35Said he slipped on it in the shower.

07:37He had to embarrassingly ask me to take him to the ER.

07:40That's what everybody says, huh?

07:42They always.

07:43Oh, I slip.

07:45Chuck, if you ever slip on a shampoo bottle, please don't call me.

07:49You're the first person I'm calling now.

07:51Please do not call me.

07:52If you see my number from now on, I want you to know that there is a really high chance

07:58there's a shampoo bottle in my back.

08:01Oh, something's inside a chuck again.

08:04I need you.

08:05Get over here.

08:06Why would you?

08:07To me, it's embarrassing.

08:09No doubt.

08:10I can't imagine.

08:11Yes.

08:12Just call an ambulance.

08:14Yeah, I don't get anyone else involved.

08:16You can.

08:16Oh, that's embarrassing, too.

08:18I guess maybe only if, but an ambulance is expensive, too.

08:23So I guess if you had a roommate and times are tough, I could understand you being like.

08:26Yeah, they're expensive.

08:27Yeah, they're expensive.

08:29It's a scene and then they wheel you out and you got to be on your stomach.

08:33And my legs are up.

08:33You got to be on your stomach, right?

08:34I don't know.

08:35Your ass up.

08:36And then like, what is it?

08:37You see like Selsen Blue or whatever sticking out on the sheet.

08:41And he's got dandruff.

08:42Oh, my God.

08:43So embarrassing.

08:44It's so embarrassing.

08:49Oh, man.

08:50I just, what's nuts to me is that there are guys out there that are buying shampoo.

08:55They're looking at the bottle.

08:56They're looking at the bottle.

08:57They can just put it up their ass.

08:58You know?

09:00They're looking at the bottle.

09:02I was an OR nurse and had to remove fix-a-flat from a rectum that had expanded and got stuck

09:10and blew up their entire intestines.

09:12No, that's just, I don't know what you're doing.

09:14Yeah.

09:15I lost a rock ring in my wife.

09:19You know what I mean?

09:19Mm-hmm.

09:20We didn't know until a week later when it came out of her.

09:23It was completely deformed.

09:25Her vag had started to digest it.

09:27It looked like melted rubber.

09:29I don't know if they died.

09:30I don't have the girth for those things.

09:32You don't know when you, how did he not realize it wasn't on him still?

09:37It's like a condom.

09:37You would know.

09:38I think, um, you know, they come in different sizes, you know, they come in different sizes.

09:44And if you misjudge, if you misjudge, if you got the snug.

09:48Yeah.

09:48You know, if you, if you went big and you shouldn't have, and maybe some people don't realize like

09:55they need to be on there so that they don't move, you know, like there can't be, no, it

10:02can't be flying around wiggle room in the, with that thing.

10:07I don't know.

10:08Be careful with your rock rings.

10:09Yeah.

10:10Um, George is with us.

10:12George, what have you had stuck inside you?

10:13Uh, my wife had the tip of a no name Q-tip stuck in her ear.

10:20It's the damn no name ones.

10:22It's cheap, man.

10:23Don't go cheap.

10:24You know?

10:25Yeah.

10:25So she was, you're not supposed to put them inside your ear.

10:28But everyone does.

10:30Yeah.

10:30But everyone does.

10:31Everybody.

10:32That was on her.

10:33Hmm.

10:34Yeah.

10:34I mean.

10:35I told her not to use those ones.

10:36Those are the ones I use for like modeling and 3D prints.

10:40Yes, exactly.

10:41There are like, uh, cleaning ones for like, yeah.

10:45Oh yeah.

10:45Stuff you use.

10:47We used to have to use them in radio all the time.

10:49But, uh, I do.

10:52I would never go cheap with those.

10:53That's one of those products I would never go cheap with.

10:56You get the brand that you get the Q-tip.

11:00That's what you get.

11:01Um, someone emailed us saying my dad just had to have a fish hook removed from his finger

11:05and they sent a video.

11:07Oh yeah.

11:08Can you handle that stuff?

11:09Yeah.

11:09Fish hooks.

11:10No big deal.

11:11Well, this is it here.

11:13Let's see.

11:13Let's hope he doesn't swear.

11:14I might just keep the volume down.

11:17Oh.

11:18Oh yeah.

11:18Oh wow.

11:20Just sucks fish hooks.

11:21They got the barb on it and makes it difficult.

11:24Oh yeah.

11:26Um, Al is with us in Windsor.

11:28Al, what have you had stuck inside of you?

11:30Uh, I had some shards of glass.

11:32Shards of glass stuck inside of me.

11:34I ran through two plate glass windows.

11:36How'd you do that, Al?

11:38Escaping.

11:38Uh, running from a buddy, running from a taxi cab, running, we were kind of trying to

11:43dodge a taxi pair and, uh, there were, there was, uh, we were running towards the bar and

11:49I didn't see the plate glass windows ran through one, ran through the other.

11:54Oh my God.

11:55And I literally had hundreds of shards of glass in my body.

11:58I had part of my nose shaved off.

12:01And maybe next time just pay for the taxi, man.

12:03Uh, yeah, it was actually the taxi driver that drove me to the hospital.

12:07Oh, that's very nice.

12:08That's the nicest Canadian taxi driver ever.

12:12Yeah.

12:12You just skipped out on your tab and he drove you to the hospital still?

12:16That's amazing.

12:16That's only in Canada.

12:19Full of blood.

12:19My bro, I go to my buddy.

12:20I'm like, Hey, but I can't see.

12:22I can't see.

12:23There was blood in my eyes.

12:24I think I'm blind.

12:25And my buddy says, yeah, I think you're blind too.

12:28And then, uh, which didn't make things any, uh, any better.

12:31And then the taxi cab driver was screaming about who was going to clean up, pay for the

12:36blood in the back of his car.

12:37But he was nice enough to drive me to the hospital.

12:40And they did a little work on me.

12:41They must've pulled probably over a hundred shards of glass out of my face, my chest, my,

12:47my nose.

12:48I was lucky I didn't get blinded.

12:50Yeah.

12:50You're lucky to be alive.

12:51Yeah, you are, man.

12:52For sure.

12:52Thanks for calling in.

12:53Yeah.

12:54The world's nicest taxi driver is the guy that you run from.

12:57So you don't pay the fare and then he still takes you to the hospital.

12:59I mean, you got to, you're bleeding all over his cab.

13:01You got to pay him then though.

13:02Right.

13:03Yeah.

13:03You got to pay him.

13:05A hundred percent.

13:05Yeah.

13:05You got to pay him.

13:06Hopefully a great, great tip.

13:07Yeah.

13:08Yeah.

13:09One more thing.

13:09Someone had a Virgin Mary statue up their backside.

13:13That's not right.

13:14Holy night.

13:14That's not right.

13:16You shouldn't do that.

13:17I mean, if it's all real, that is going to, you're going to, they're going to be waiting

13:23with that one right at the gate.

13:25Yeah.

13:25You know what I mean?

13:26You're not getting it.

13:26Like if it's real, they're going to be like Virgin Mary up your ass.

13:29Wow.

13:30Wow.

13:30Look at that.

13:32They're going to show you a picture of it and all that.

13:34It's not great.

What Was Stuck Inside Of You?

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Dave and Chuck - Long

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