- 1 day ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a pirate with the world's biggest boobs that Dave met in Vegas years ago. Then, revisit Lisa returning to work after breaking her leg and how she looked like a pimp her first day back.
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00:00What are you doing?
00:01I'm picking up notes of cherry, berry, maybe tropical fruit.
00:08Chuck, it's fruity rainbow from 5-Hour Energy.
00:11Oh, yes. Refined.
00:23Speaking of the NBA, next week the NBA League Governors will vote on expanding the league to 32 teams.
00:29The two most likely host cities, Seattle and Las Vegas, it appears.
00:35Vegas is getting everything.
00:36They are.
00:37Yeah, it's a big place.
00:39Well, they need, Vegas needs help.
00:41Yeah.
00:42Oh, yeah.
00:43You know, and that's like becomes a destination.
00:45Like, we're going to all go to Vegas.
00:46Oh, the Pistons are playing.
00:49Something to do, you know.
00:51Yeah.
00:52Yeah.
00:53They're spending, I think, considering spending $600 million on an ad campaign to be like,
00:59hey, Canadians, come back to Vegas.
01:02Now, Jade, you recently went, right?
01:04Yeah.
01:04So how, what was it?
01:05Was it down, like, people, the amount of people?
01:08Or was it about the same?
01:09I mean, did you notice a difference?
01:13It didn't feel like it was crazy.
01:15I mean, I've been there when it's been crazy busy, but there was big things going on, like
01:20big concerts.
01:21Like, I think that a couple of years ago, it was like the Billy Joel concert was at Allegiant
01:25Stadium or wherever it was.
01:26So like, and it was like the weekend.
01:28And I was in old Vegas downtown last time that I went, which was actually great.
01:33Like, downtown Vegas has certainly turned around from where it was even 10 years ago.
01:38Like, it was just, it was safe.
01:39It was walkable.
01:40They've got entertainment everywhere.
01:42Really?
01:43Yeah.
01:43Okay.
01:44Did you encounter the female pirate with the world's biggest titties?
01:47I did not.
01:48Oh, okay.
01:49I wonder how she's doing.
01:50That's Dave's big question of your little trip to Vegas.
01:53No, but I did encounter a man who was face down and had, um, peed his pants.
01:59Oh, well, isn't that a typical scene there?
02:01Well, that's Vegas.
02:02You don't see someone who peed their pants.
02:03Well, it was like off the beaten path.
02:05Like, I wasn't on the main, like, Fremont Street.
02:07I was walking back to my hotel.
02:08It was the middle of the day.
02:09It was 3.30 in the afternoon.
02:11And I was walking and it was like the stench, you know?
02:13I was like, oh yeah, that smells, that smells like a, you know.
02:17You didn't see her?
02:19I did not.
02:20Look at Dave how happy he is.
02:22Look at him.
02:23That was when I had my stash.
02:26Those were the days.
02:27That's when I had my stash.
02:28That was Movember.
02:30I traveled like that.
02:32It was vacation pics.
02:34Yeah, she can't.
02:35She's probably not doing that well anymore.
02:37I mean, I don't know.
02:37I mean, that was like 10 years ago.
02:39It was a long time ago.
02:40It was 13 years ago.
02:41Oh, wow.
02:41Oh, wow.
02:42That was the first time we went.
02:43You see how fast he found that picture?
02:45Yeah.
02:45Oh, yeah.
02:45What did you search?
02:47I'm just curious.
02:48Nothing.
02:48I will not tell.
02:49Because you did a little search there.
02:52Pirate boobies.
02:57Pirate boobies is an autofill for sure.
03:03Pirate boobies.
03:08It just came up fast.
03:10It was a great memory.
03:12I was so, speaking of wasted, I was so wasted.
03:16Because I went with a couple of folks.
03:19Chuck and Lisa were like, no, we're going to bed.
03:21I'm like, well, I'm going to party.
03:23Who knows when I'll be back.
03:24I'm going to party because, yeah.
03:25So the rock girl at the time and a couple of us decided to go to old Vegas.
03:30And that's where we encountered the craziest of people.
03:33Yes.
03:33Including the pirate with the world's biggest knocker.
03:35Yeah.
03:35It's not like as crazy like that.
03:37Like, I mean, there's still the stuff on the street, street performers and all that sort
03:41of stuff.
03:41But it's become like an attraction as opposed to like, you know, jarring.
03:46Stay away from it.
03:47Pirate boobies, you know.
03:50It's too bad.
03:50Come for the pirate boobies.
03:52Stay for the free drinks.
03:53Stay for the drinks.
03:53First round of the NCAA's March Madness starts today, continues tomorrow.
03:58Second round games are Saturday and Sunday.
04:01But again, and every year it seems to jump up.
04:05The trend of guys getting vasectomies has spiked.
04:09It's at its highest level ever.
04:12This has been going on at least over a decade.
04:14The big idea, of course, is to get snipped.
04:16And then you spend three or four days recovering, icing your junk on the sofa while watching basketball.
04:24The only other time of year where there's a big uptick in vasectomies is at the end
04:28of the year when guys have reached their annual insurance deductible, which lowers the out
04:34of pocket cost for getting snipped.
04:36And you still haven't done it, right?
04:38I have not.
04:39And are you considering it?
04:41I thought you were at some point.
04:42Yeah, I mean, I should.
04:43I should just so there's no accidents.
04:46But there's just so much medical stuff going on.
04:48Yeah, you've got a lot.
04:49I've got a list of things.
04:50And I'm not going to get three or four days on the sofa watching.
04:54She's going to be like, get up.
04:56Get up and pick the kid up.
04:58I'm sorry, your nuts hurt.
05:01But don't be a bitch.
05:02You've got stuff to do.
05:03Yeah.
05:05She would be like, did you see Lisa when she broke her leg?
05:08She was back to work.
05:09You're going to be all right.
05:12Lisa was back to work how quick?
05:14Did she complain about it at all?
05:16Has she talked about it since?
05:17Nope.
05:17No, get off the couch.
05:19Way to ruin his life, Lisa.
05:21Sorry.
05:22I'm sorry.
05:23She's at the bar too high.
05:24It's just the truth.
05:27I know what's wild is that Chuck and I expected Lisa to come in here like on a walker or
05:31crutches or anything.
05:32And she just comes sliding in here the first morning.
05:35I'm like, what, girl?
05:36Where's that femur at?
05:38I walked in with Lisa that day and she was like miming, sliding on ice in the parking lot.
05:44I'm like, what are you doing?
05:47Whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:47Everyone was so freaked out.
05:49I'm like, I'm okay.
05:50I'm like two steps behind her just in case I got to catch her or something.
05:54And I'm sitting there.
05:55I'm honestly having a harder time walking than she is.
05:59And I'm just fat.
06:00You had a little pimp walk.
06:01You had the cane.
06:01Yeah, at the beginning I had the cane.
06:02And that day you had a coat on that I was like, damn, that's, I don't usually comment on your
06:07wardrobe.
06:08And I was like, she looks like a pimp.
06:10It was like black and white.
06:11You know what I'm talking about?
06:12I matched it all up, yeah.
06:13She was fly.
06:14I matched it all up.
06:15And the way that she walked in, I'm like, damn.
06:17I never saw her with her cane.
06:20Oh, she didn't?
06:21You know, I never did see it.
06:22She like stepped back almost.
06:24You know how you can like step back?
06:26Like lean back.
06:26But I didn't know if she could move that way.
06:28Like I didn't know if she had that.
06:30She's got a swagger.
06:31It was one of those, you know.
06:33She was like, damn.
06:38Gin and juice was playing everywhere she walked.
06:40She's a pimp.
06:41Because I didn't even know you were coming.
06:42So I'm like, ah.
06:43That's a surprise.
06:44That's right.
06:45The door cam was like, what's up?
06:48Spitting her cane.
06:50What's up?
06:50This amazing coat.
06:51Oh, my God.
06:53Well, I hated coming in with that cane.
06:55So I needed to like, I was like, I got to jazz this thing up a little bit.
07:00It's so funny that you matched your outfit to your cane.
07:04Who does that?
07:05Me.
07:06You.
07:06Only me.
07:07Your coat matched your cane?
07:09Yeah.
07:10Come on.
07:11So, no, I don't know.
07:13Modern medicine.
07:14Listen, it's amazing.
07:15No, I honestly thought that you'd be like the old guy from Up.
07:20Well, you know, he has his.
07:22What?
07:22I would never come in like that.
07:24Something like this.
07:25Never.
07:26Oh, without, oh, that kind of cane.
07:29I wasn't doing that kind of cane.
07:30Hell no.
07:31Well, I didn't know how it would be, but it was not at all how I expected.
07:36I thought for sure there'd be more to it or you'd be, you know, some sort of walking device.
07:40Now, day two, she carried me into the building.
07:44Because, listen, if this happened to Chuck, he'd still be out.
07:47He'd have someone carry him from his car into his seat.
07:50I'd be pushing around in a wheelchair.
07:51Yes, it would be a totally different situation.
07:53I had to send you something that this is how she looked when she walked in to me.
07:57To me, this is what I pictured.
07:59This is in your head.
08:00This is what you saw when you saw it.
08:01100%.
08:04I had that one.
08:06Yes.
08:06Big cigarette day.
08:08I should have got that.
08:09I was like, these are, she was like, yeah, I'm back, baby.
08:17Oh, my God.
08:20Incredible.
08:20I'm sorry I missed that.
08:21I was always down the hall.
08:23I missed all the pimp times.
08:25Damn.
08:26I needed a hat.
08:27You see the one in the top in the black square on the right side.
08:31Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:33I thought Lisa walked in.
08:34Hey, what's up, everybody?
08:37That's how I walked into her to be like, yeah.
08:41It's a party.
08:42That's incredible.
08:43And then this is Chuck walking in.
08:46That's when he's late.
08:48When he's late.
08:49He walks that fast.
08:50No, he power walks.
08:52He thinks he's an incredible power walker.
08:54He did that in Vegas, too.
08:55He did that.
08:56And we have it on video.
08:57I do somewhere.
08:58Somewhere we have it on video.
08:59That's actually hilarious.
09:00You can't search that up, Dave?
09:02Yeah, I'm sure I can.
09:04Him and I went to a Pistons game earlier this season.
09:07And I was like, why are you walking like that?
09:11Oh, yeah, it wasn't a video.
09:12It was just a picture.
09:13Yeah, I got a picture.
09:14I thought it was a video.
09:15Oh, I didn't realize.
09:16I thought he was doing that as a joke.
09:18That's how he walks.
09:19No, he did it to get away from me in the hallway.
09:21And it was fast.
09:22Yeah.
09:22It was fast.
09:23I was sitting next to me, and next thing you know, I'm looking at his ass as he shimmies
09:26just like that.
09:27And he was already at the door.
09:28He prides himself on his speed walk.
09:30He was fast.
09:30He was running through Little Caesars.
09:32I was like, why are you walking so fast?
09:34Where are you going?
09:36He's showing off his skills.
09:38I was like, you're shimmying.
09:40Yeah, but Lisa's pimp walk, the best.
09:44You should have had a hat and a fake cigarette hanging out.
09:47I'm telling you, the door swung open.
09:50You know?
09:51Welcome back, pimp!
09:52I was like, Lisa!
09:53I was like, yeah!
09:55I knew you'd be happy to see me.
09:58Flame Elise!
10:00Lisa's back, baby.
10:03You know?
10:04That's amazing.
10:05That's exactly what I think.
10:07Incredible.
10:10You know?
10:10Now...
10:10...
10:10I love you.
10:11I know.
10:12I know.
10:12I know.
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