00:06Dave and Chuck the Freaks, pervert of the day.
00:11We heard initial reports about this guy a little while ago,
00:14and now finally they have arrested a Baltimore County paramedic
00:21after he was jerking off in his co-workers' food,
00:26pissing in their food.
00:28Yep, yep.
00:29Doing all sorts of crap.
00:33They got to catch you.
00:34That's the one thing I know.
00:39Why does he do it?
00:40Why does he have to say it?
00:43He's been filling you up for years, man.
00:44It's okay.
00:46Filling you up, I believe is what he said.
00:48How did you put that?
00:49He said filling you up for years.
00:53Yum, yum.
00:55If I found out you jerked off in my food,
00:58and it took the cops months to do anything about it,
01:02I think some personal justice would have to happen.
01:05I don't know.
01:06I mean, there's a coffee maker back there that's easily accessible.
01:10There's a lot of different sweet creams now.
01:14Oh, yeah, I didn't think about the sweet cream.
01:16Lisa, you can't be on board with this.
01:18You can't be on board with this.
01:19You can't be on board with this.
01:19I'm not on board.
01:20No, it's very easy to hide your bodily fluids in sweet cream.
01:23Everyone knows that.
01:25I mean, I know that.
01:25I know it firsthand.
01:28I know it.
01:30Exhibit A.
01:31Clip of today's show.
01:32I'm debating how mad you'd be if I went and grabbed your cream right now.
01:35I'd be really mad.
01:36Okay.
01:38Don't ever.
01:38Our cream.
01:39Don't ever.
01:39Oh, yes.
01:40No.
01:41It's ours.
01:41We do not share.
01:42Do they share cream?
01:43We do not share cream.
01:44Do they share cream?
01:45There's no cream being shared ever, ever in the history of the world.
01:49I feed them both.
01:51Can I tell you, I've been sharing a room with Court for, like, what, three minutes now,
01:55and you said sweet cream, and Court went, oh.
01:57Oh, my God.
01:59I wish I had the eject button.
02:03I'll do it for you, Al.
02:04Oh, no.
02:05I keep it down.
02:06I kept it down.
02:06Oh, come on.
02:08There's porn music, Link.
02:11Makes it worse when there's porn music.
02:13They really do.
02:13They really do.
02:14I'm glad you gave them a thumbs down.
02:16Yeah.
02:16See?
02:17I knew.
02:18I don't need those sounds next to me.
02:19Oh.
02:20I had a sweet cream premonition.
02:23I got to clear my search history here, because we talked about him before, right?
02:29We did, yeah, when this case first came to light.
02:31So in the search bar, all I did was type, tatted, and his whole stuff comes up.
02:35Oh, wow.
02:36Everything about this guy.
02:37Really?
02:38Yeah, it was, like, from the website and everything.
02:40You know what you have to do?
02:40I need to clear out all the cookies.
02:43You do.
02:43Did we look at the stuff before?
02:44We did, yeah.
02:45Yeah, we looked at it.
02:46But it's all, like, covered in...
02:48No, I have it.
02:49We have it.
02:49He posted...
02:50I don't remember.
02:51I don't think we saw this specific stuff, but he has, like, stuff on the porn sites.
02:55Yeah, we had found his...
02:57I remember these, but they're all, like, covered in black.
03:01I feel like we saw some stuff of him actually doing things.
03:05Well, we did, because there's one that I just pulled up, and he does the goatsy.
03:11Yeah.
03:11You'll remember.
03:12You must have blocked that out.
03:14Yes.
03:14How long ago was this?
03:17Last year, right?
03:18Yeah, it was about two months ago now.
03:20I mean...
03:21Oh, two months?
03:22Two months.
03:22Two months ago.
03:23Yeah, we already forgot two months ago.
03:25Like, some of the videos are tagged co-worker toothpaste vandalism.
03:29Sounding and rubbing my co-worker's chapstick on my day.
03:33Pissing in my co-worker's dressing.
03:35Do you have any chapstick over there?
03:36I do not.
03:37Pissing in my co-worker's jelly?
03:39Not my jelly, man.
03:40Making Dave some marmalade.
03:44God, you wouldn't want that as your co-worker.
03:46You'd want to do the worst to them.
03:48You'd want them gone.
03:51Well, I mean, I don't know about that.
03:53It's a little extreme, Dave, but I'm with it.
03:56I feel like if...
03:58If you finish on a toothbrush, you can be gone.
04:00Yeah.
04:00Yeah.
04:01Gone, gone?
04:02Gone, again, gone.
04:03Don't finish on a toothbrush.
04:04It's only a misdemeanor, you know?
04:06Like, all this stuff is only a misdemeanor.
04:08It's not that big a deal.
04:10Is it when there's bodily fluids?
04:12It's only a misdemeanor.
04:13Chuck's looked into it.
04:14It's only a misdemeanor.
04:16I'll be a little slap on the wrist.
04:19Making Dave some marmalade.
04:21Okay.
04:22Yeah.
04:23Good night.
04:24Punitable by death.
04:26Kitchy, kitchy, ya-ya, mama.
04:29Okay.
04:29Really?
04:30Oka-chooka-la-la, ya.
04:33Are you ever going to be able to spread marmalade on your toaster?
04:36Thank God I don't like it.
04:37I'm Dave some marmalade.
04:40Dave's AI toothbrush is like, help me.
04:42Yeah.
04:43I've been violated.
04:45It smiled at me before, too.
04:47No, it would send me a report.
04:49Illegal substance located on me.
04:53Tiny hairy man has touched me.
04:54It's pregnant.
04:56Yeah.
04:57I am with child.
05:00It cleaned my insides.
05:02Okay.
05:03God almighty.
05:04What's wrong with your head, man?
05:05You're a pig.
05:06Yep.
05:07You got it.
05:08Little traveling toothbrush next to it the next morning.
05:12Yep.
05:13You got so many problems, dude.
05:16So many problems.
05:18What's it smell?
05:19Who was breathing?
05:21That's you smelling your toothbrush.
05:23Yeah, that was you smelling your toothbrush.
05:24After it was inside him.
05:25After it was in my bar.
05:30Lady A-hole over here has got to go.
05:32I love naughty lady marmalade.
05:34It's a hit.
05:37I don't.
05:40Semen in his marmalade.
05:44Yep.
05:46Yeah, that's all fun and games until it's in yours.
05:48That's fine.
05:49You can do it to mine.
05:50Oh, really?
05:51You're okay with that?
05:51You were ready to kill him a second ago.
05:53We thought he should be dead.
05:54I wouldn't do it.
05:55I'd be really mad at him, but when he's saying that, I'd laugh.
05:57Yeah.
05:58I'd be like, ah.
05:59It wouldn't be as effective because I know, like, Dave would want to kill.
06:03And that, to me, would be the ultimate in fun.
06:06You piss or finish in my stuff?
06:08Oh, man.
06:10No.
06:11We can no longer talk because you'll be tits up.
06:17Ah, well, it's fun.
06:19That kind of stuff is fun.
06:21Is it?
06:21We're like Motley Crue.
06:22We're not.
06:23You know?
06:24We're just doing crazy things to each other all the time, except it's just me doing stuff
06:28to you.
06:28Yeah.
06:30Oh, yeah.
06:31Really, Mr. Chuckle Cuts over there is having the best old time.
06:34He does enjoy it.
06:36Lady Marmalade.
06:38I didn't expect to sing it this much today.
06:41When he sings, it makes me laugh.
06:43What do you want me to say?
06:44There's no jelly song I can really sing, so.
06:47No.
06:49Did you try to drink it with the lid closed?
06:51Yeah, I closed it during that segment.
06:52He closed it because he didn't want to take my stuff in it.
06:56Just in case.
06:57Yeah, he's like, I better close all my things.
06:58I better close everything just in case.
06:59I better close everything just in case.
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