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00:05have you heard of lap lifting no i have not that's what the crime is called when you get a
00:13lap dance
00:14and don't pay for it you're a lap lifter oh worked with a guy who did that he got lap
00:20dances and
00:20didn't pay for them yeah we had we got stuck with an 800 bill 800 bucks they wanted and and
00:26we were
00:26like you know who he is you can find him this guy that we we know you know a little
00:33itchy oh my god
00:35he walked out on a tab like that he must have been drunk oh must have been yeah uh but
00:41this guy a
00:42drunk man in florida has been arrested after getting 15 straight private dances at a gentleman's
00:48club that's a lot and then trying to skip out on the bill actually it's quite a bargain 40 bucks
00:53a dance
00:55that seems low oh see to me back i come from a school of time when it was like 10
01:00bucks at the
01:00table and like 20 bucks back i remember it always mean 20 yeah 20 bucks in the back i think
01:06in this
01:06day and age 40 bucks a dance is cheap i don't know i would assume oh i i don't even
01:12know i mean now
01:12you're getting jerked and sure you're getting a lot more here's the dude here she had to know at least
01:19a little bit that there was no chance of getting paid here his mugshot is up at daveandchuckthefreak.com
01:24police allege that roberto maldonado 46 got 15 straight private dances at rain a gentleman's
01:34club in clearwater florida as i mentioned the dances cost 40 bucks a piece and an additional 50
01:40fee brought his tab up to 650 bucks wow however after maldonado enjoyed the lap dance marathon he
01:49refused to pay the stripper's bill instead offering only 50 which is all he had on him oh geez when
01:57the
01:57cops arrived at the club around 1 15 in the morning a cop explained to maldonado who appeared to be
02:02under
02:02the influence that payment was required for the services he had received they say he started to
02:09speak in circles and he refused to make any effort to pay his lap dance balance yeah it is wild
02:15because
02:16it's like there is no real proof of like services rendered it's not like oh i have the product
02:24that i should have paid for it's just like this thing that happened you know in the back are there
02:30cameras in the champagne room you know i've seen some stuff from the champagne room so so maybe you
02:38could be like let's check the security i don't know though but i i would feel like it would be
02:41against
02:42their best interest right cameras you swallowed his wiener doesn't seem like it goes together you
02:47know what they might have is like a camera at the entrance of the champagne room right so you see
02:55when someone walked in together and they see when they come out but all the stuff inside the hand jobs
03:02the mouth jobs the all that stuff you probably don't want that on film rjs kicking it up in the
03:09champagne room you know it oh you know it i'm sure many a guys have licked many a lady's rear
03:14oh my god
03:15so many dude i was offered the nipple and i declined politely to suck it she wanted me to suck
03:21her nipple
03:22and i was like no thank you i was very very young it's the only time i've gotten a lap
03:26dance in this
03:27yeah and she like put it she presented no no no no no thank you presented oh she did oh
03:33no thank
03:33you i will pass that's yours that's yours was she offended no i think she was just trying to give
03:42me a good time time right okay she wasn't offended she wasn't like oh i think she was more like
03:48what
03:51what are you gay no one no one ever offered no one ever offered me anything no it's you know
03:58they
03:58don't give the chubby man of anything free turning down a stripper is wild but i'm sure it happens a
04:03lot
04:04yeah i had a like i can remember being young and there was like something she said something
04:10about like increasing the show's uh visibility and i was like no just just this we're just gonna
04:19keep this what normal there was she was gonna do things and stretch stuff uh manipulate air i was
04:28like no thanks uh-uh nope they were just looking for an upsell charge you know like kind of like
04:36do
04:36you want to get fries with that you know you want to would you like an apple pie supersize you
04:41want
04:41this you know what i mean like it's that kind of thing it was there it was like this is
04:45going okay
04:45but would you like me to increase how about this you want to see the insides i would have seen
04:51the
04:51insides no i mean no it's gonna cost it was gonna oh how much are we talking do they talk
04:57money i can't
04:58yeah oh yeah she said 20 bucks for the inside it was more than that but it was like and
05:02i was like
05:03keep those doors closed then i'm like listen i don't need to see a goatsy or something crazy for
05:1080 bucks when i made four bucks an hour did her b-hole to you they presented to you but
05:16to
05:16for you to dine on that is crazy you can't you can't dine on never you never do it like
05:24when
05:24when did you go back there how many other what else has happened in the whole night before you've
05:33decided like you that's a man soup that you're dining upon jesus i just it's be careful on both
05:42sides yes well they i mean you know you're there to make money you're doing it because that's how you
05:48want to make one and only lap dance i have she put her lady button right in my face and
05:51said do you feel
05:52that all i can say was yes i do yes i do yes i mean it's just wild that's a
06:01wild time um here's
06:04well this is a wild couple wife and i always go and we take a dancer in the back and
06:09we love on her
06:10feet oh these poor girls they seem to enjoy it and we never have any issues oh they seem to
06:17enjoy it
06:17like do people not understand what's going on in there like so many guys are like i really think
06:25that woman it really likes me you have to pretend what you know that's a crazy couple i've convinced
06:32my wife to come with me to the strip club and we're going to suck on strippers feet together i
06:36mean
06:37it's holy hell where have those feet been all on the ground they've been on that stage
06:43i'd bring bleach and a cloth oh my god that's all dave does is actually just washes their feet
06:49let's clean those puppies i hit that with a clorox white girlfriend i just give it a little i'm not
06:55putting that right in my mouth there's no way no way first lap dance the stripper wanted a kiss at
07:01the
07:01end she smelt bad oh no they never smell bad and she wanted me to kiss down there oh no
07:10god no
07:12thank you went in for the kiss oh no that's how you get stuff on your face do you still
07:22have
07:22your lips no i mean he's got extra i don't know some extra stuff that pops up every once in
07:27a while
07:28i mean for sure right oh my god do you still have your lips you're getting something excuse me sir
07:33do you still have your lips like sticking them in a bucket of acid no oh my god why would
07:37you
07:37and if it's smell it should smell like strawberries and cream just not fish and chips smell normal i
07:45mean i'm not there's no way there's no way uh another guy said i turned down sucking a nipple
07:51just like jason because all i could think of is how many guys sucked that nipple that night all right
07:56all of them i'm like i'm not you're not yeah i didn't have anything that she was like oh look
08:01at this stud in my jeans you know like i was like a kid yeah pretty cool went to pittsburgh
08:08for my
08:09bachelor party my buddy walked in and sat down instantly told the first stripper he saw that he
08:14wanted to dine on her rear we didn't see him the rest of the night oh my god you die
08:24i feel like if that if you if you take 1.5 seconds to uh walker told me i had
08:31eight
08:31if it takes you one second to ask a stripper or to tell her that you want to dine upon
08:39her backside
08:40and then you disappear you know what you did couples are crazy you guys yeah dave me and my girl
08:46go to
08:46the strip club all the time we go in the back room with the girl the stripper will get me
08:50all excited
08:51then my girl will finish me off in front of the stripper oh well that's just they're making money
08:57not even working barely working yeah i guess that's easy work right yeah it's easy work
09:04it's easy work yeah i'll fire up and watch well probably just dances on him and then he gets going
09:11little do you know she has two glass eyes she can't see it anyway
09:17it's my favorite kind of strippers who could be offended during this discussion oh yeah no
09:21they're not listening i just i'm amazed that the amount of couples the amount of kinky couples that go
09:27yeah i think a lot of it is still is that that's poor dave poor dave
09:36went with some co-workers to a strip club in canada
09:41stripper put a sucker in her
09:45and then the co-worker ate it after yeah oh yeah yep
09:49many guys walker told me i had eight yeah
09:52yep i mean it's not recommended guys
09:55you got to keep yourself together what was it blow pop
09:59it doesn't go into the type what flavor butterscotch dum-dum i don't know i'm a sucker for one of
10:08those
10:08you're not very specific with that well i know they're good they are the best ones
10:13they're the best ones you know strawberry blow pop i mean shoot
10:17yeah um went to a local detroit strip club with my older brother for the first time
10:23my oldest brother offered to buy me a lap dance the girl i pointed to comes over shakes her boob
10:28pinched her nip and squirted me with milk oh boy we left oh no walker told me i had eight
10:37yep yep i don't know what i would have done if when she like offered it and she squirted me
10:43they would have i would have been in a sense of of awe and wonder i i really
10:52would have been like i can't i can't even believe what's happening like it as long as it didn't
10:57happen to me like if i saw someone else get shot like that i thought oh my god oh my
11:04god he's into
11:05it crazy oh my god crazy this is wild we're talking about it's turned into tales from the strip club
11:12that
11:12i never would have expected but this guy in florida uh was arrested for getting like a ton of lap
11:21stories with us um i went to the back for a private dance at a strip club and the gal
11:27says
11:29you want the goat's brain special the goat's brain you want the goat's brain special i think i know
11:35what she's gonna do i know what she's gonna i was curious so i agreed no 20 bucks up front
11:44can i guess
11:45you want to guess just tell the story when it's when it's right there let me guess okay well then
11:50she's ready okay it's ready it's right there she's gonna push a prolapse but out of her
11:59like she's gonna prolapse her butt he's insane you guys is he right no he's not
12:05oh so it's what he said is worse than yes okay way worse well then it's not that big a
12:11deal
12:12well it can't be that big a deal oh it's great well what's the brain she pulled my balls out
12:18and massaged them with her lady bits what the hell oh my god brain special goat's brain
12:25prolapse what the hell that would have shocked the world you ever seen the people that can just do
12:32that that's what i thought she had that skill i was like oh my god oh no you're wild man
12:38i'm just
12:39saying i've seen it all and uh you're not ready for it in real life i don't think i would
12:44love to
12:45get set someone up to show dave that i don't need to see a lady's prolapse you do because then
12:50she has
12:51to push it back in you know what no thanks st patrick's day okay get out of here
12:57um find somebody any prolapse and strippers out there um just do me a favor look it up
13:05just to see if it exists no no not to book it not to book it we're never gonna book
13:09it
13:09i want to know if someone has that do they advertise that skill that's nuts my buddy went
13:17down on a stripper in mexico oh walker told me i had eight playing it for every story well because
13:24every single time you get it you're at risk i know you get it every time you know how the
13:30beach they
13:30have colors when you're most at risk from like yeah red flag red it's red flag at a strip club
13:36every time yep yep um my boss had a stripper put her titty in his mouth he got strep throat
13:47well because like the other person said how many other people have done that so someone in the
13:53in the club that night had strep and they they dined upon the nipple as well
14:01got a nice hj oh no jason's having an emotional reaction in there well of course well it's prolapse
14:07porn i've found like an entire category get out i don't know about strippers with the talons okay
14:14so you're not you're not finding that uh they don't advertise at least do you see why i thought it
14:19might be the pink brain yeah yeah thank you but it would be more than it should be more than
14:2420
14:24dollars or whatever for whatever's happening here i guess that's true uh got a nice hj from a deaf
14:30stripper right after boot camp in los angeles except she couldn't hear when i said i had finished
14:37keep going then
14:38went to a fort myers strip club with co-workers we all got lap dances one licked her own vajayjay
14:47it's impossible it's an impossibility i know it's impossible
14:54i think i've searched for that like the holy i've seen something that didn't look fake
14:58oh no it's all it's always fake it's always fake there's it's impossible i've seen the most
15:03flexible thing that's like my holy grail and if i could find it it's been saying that for years
15:08yeah it's my holy grail it's indiana chuck
15:14that's my arc that's my self-aid vajayjay liquor and it just can't it just won't happen
15:21you can't find it i've seen the most flexible russian women of all time and they cannot do it
15:28you okay man oh i've been through it i'm tired a lot of prolapse stuff over there
15:34so much i know because really you kept investigating when we had way moved on
15:39it's like my did you see some that could just do it though like on command type of thing
15:44well it's like they're it's they're engaged in some activity oh wow some of that too yeah
15:51they don't even want to say the word i know you don't i don't want to say it that's fine
15:56we don't
15:56have to it's not great starts with the g ends with an ape oh okay does that make sense yes
16:09okay
16:09yep you want to see it dave no oh no i'm all right i don't think he could handle that
16:16i can't yes you
16:17can't i don't think i can handle it no nope um was it a strip club on a snowmobile trip
16:25i was wearing a nice winter sweater the stripper told me she would do anything for my sweater
16:32and i turned her down because i'm a chubby guy and i wasn't wearing a shirt underneath
16:36oh i still regret it to this day oh my god
16:43no you can't i'm nude under here don't you go around you i mean go ask your buds yeah handy
16:49to
16:50borrow your shirt i mean don't have sex with the snowmobile stripper no what's that the up north
16:59snowmobile stripper we went to one we went to one one time we almost got killed by all the locals
17:05actually because every girl that was working her boyfriend was there like just like a small town
17:14it's a small town they're like the all these guys that are with the girls and so like one of
17:19my
17:19buddies got a little you know rambunctious or something and it was a whole bar that wanted to
17:24kill you what dave this is why you can't watch a prolapse my buddies and i went to a strip
17:30club
17:32she took one of my buddies back to the champagne room he came out pale with a horrible look on
17:39his face
17:39yeah i bet when she bent over to present herself to him oh no hemorrhoid no other guy's stuff dripped
17:47out of her under his shirt under his shirt oh he threw up oh he got the soup on him
17:56he got the soup
17:59that's why you don't die in there that's why you can't what are you thinking what are you thinking
18:08clean yourself up i know like that just happened yeah
18:14you really bottle it in there you know you really kept it for later going to make that money right
18:19you gotta keep going it's about d's per hour a stripper offered me and my friends shots of her breast
18:26milk
18:28i didn't do it but the rest of the guys drank it walker told me i had eight come on
18:33you can't you can't
18:36i just i just i mean yeah like any time i might think to myself man i'm i'm kind of
18:42i'm a perv
18:43i realized no i'm not i'm really i'm just a guy i'm just it's everything's fine i would never drink
18:49a stripper's ounce of her breast milk i wouldn't dine upon a stripper's soup there's ones that like the
18:59story before there's guys that would oh clean that up yeah they would love it yeah they would
19:06love it get out of here i got nowhere to go you're stuck in there this is where i am
19:12that's where he
19:14belongs that's where i'll stay one guy did he said went to a strip club in japan found a really
19:22good
19:23looking girl with a big butt oh no court go on we went in the back room she did let
19:28me dine back
19:29there i'll be right back walker told me i had aids i'm sorry sometimes it's worth it where was he
19:36japan japan everything's cleaner in japan you guys know that right yeah they don't have aids over there
19:42right oh my god did you hear court got aids yeah they didn't have it there i wonder if you
19:48crunched
19:49numbers on that though bet it's really low in japan uh-huh we're gonna look at the numbers i think
19:55that's what we're doing that is what we're doing 34 000 okay well that's more that's a lot of aids
20:01that's more than i wanted oh but no actually only 900 right now oh all right is that new cases
20:11201 oh man it's going way down yeah they got it under control it's very clean over there
20:17i just have to assume a uh japanese stripper is very clean i'm picturing it in my head
20:23very clean okay very attractive oh my god she's touching me
20:28okay all right that's it we gotta go it's gone too far now he's gone too thank you yeah
20:34you
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