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Allo Allo 1 Episode 1
RETRO TV
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4 weeks ago
Category
đŸ“º
TV
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00:00
I trust the food was to your satisfaction, Colonel.
00:04
Your wife is a wonderful cook, Renée.
00:07
She makes rabbit taste like chicken.
00:09
That was chicken, Herr Colonel.
00:12
Rabbit, as you will of course know, does not have a wishbone.
00:15
A wishbone. Good, we can make a wish.
00:18
A little more wine?
00:20
No, we've spent enough already.
00:21
This is on the house.
00:23
Oh, thank you. Come on, Hans, make a wish.
00:26
I wish I could see my wife and children again very soon.
00:30
You're not supposed to tell your wish, Duncan.
00:33
You spoil the whole thing.
00:34
I'm very sorry, Colonel.
00:35
Renée, you, make a wish.
00:39
Oh, this is a rare honour, Colonel.
00:43
Little piggy's over.
00:50
Oh.
00:51
Dammit, you've won.
00:52
Oh, well, you can have my wish, Colonel.
00:57
What was it?
00:58
You mustn't tell, you spoil it.
01:00
It doesn't spoil it if you tell it after.
01:01
Oh.
01:02
What was it?
01:03
Oh, I just wished that this terrible war could be over very soon.
01:07
Oh, very good.
01:09
But which side did you wish to win?
01:11
Oh, yours, of course, Herr Colonel.
01:13
Sensible fellow.
01:15
Dear Colonel, I wonder if I might beg a kindness from you.
01:20
My butter is running very low.
01:22
If you could let me have a pat or two, just to keep me going.
01:25
Of course.
01:26
Hans, make a note.
01:27
Anything else?
01:28
Dare I mention sugar?
01:30
Of course.
01:31
And five litres of paraffin would be most acceptable.
01:34
This may be most difficult.
01:35
I have to account for everything in the store.
01:38
Room six is at your disposal, Colonel, as usual.
01:42
And one of my girls was inquiring after you only five minutes ago.
01:46
Which one?
01:47
Yvette.
01:50
Five litres.
01:51
With respect, Herr Colonel, Yvette is ten litres.
01:58
Does that include the feather duster?
02:00
Of course.
02:03
Ten litres.
02:04
Ten litres.
02:08
Room six for ten litres.
02:10
Six for me, four for you.
02:11
Oh, not the wet celery and the flying helmet.
02:14
No.
02:14
The feather duster.
02:17
But through in the egg whisk, we might get some gasoline as well.
02:21
There is someone to see you in the back room.
02:23
Who is it?
02:24
It is a woman.
02:25
She has a gun.
02:25
What?
02:27
She does not have a pram, does she?
02:30
No, but she is with two men.
02:31
I will see her.
02:34
Honey.
02:34
What?
02:35
Honey, do not think badly of me and the things I do.
02:38
I do it for my poor widowed mother.
02:41
She needs the paraffin.
02:43
She has cold feet.
02:45
But she must never, never know how I get it.
02:48
Promise?
02:49
Yvette, your secret is safe with me.
02:54
And the captain and the colonel.
02:56
And the pianist and my wife.
03:00
And the ironmonger in the Rue de Grenoble.
03:03
How does he know about it?
03:04
He supplies the feather duster and the egg whisk.
03:11
Don't move.
03:12
What?
03:12
My name is Michel Dubois.
03:14
Time is very short.
03:15
Listen very carefully.
03:16
I shall say this only once.
03:18
I beg your pardon?
03:22
I shall say this only once.
03:24
No, I didn't quite catch your name.
03:27
My name is Michel Dubois.
03:28
You are René Artois.
03:29
Yes, I know that.
03:30
I was...
03:30
Sit down.
03:32
Just listen.
03:34
We are members of Laughland.
03:37
Our mission is to assist the escape of Allied airmen
03:40
and get them back to England so they can fight again.
03:43
Until yesterday, we had a safe house in Nouvion.
03:46
Unfortunately, it has been blown.
03:48
It was terrible.
03:50
It was a little cafe, just like this.
03:52
With a patron, just like you.
03:55
They took him and his wife out into the town square
03:57
and shot them in cold blood.
04:00
I shall never forget the look on his face as he stood there.
04:03
He was the greatest man I ever knew.
04:06
He sang the Marseillaise,
04:08
three bars into the second caress,
04:10
a volley of shot rang out,
04:12
and he slurmed against the ropes that held him to the post.
04:17
Why are you telling me this?
04:18
Your cafe is to be the next safe house.
04:26
Ah.
04:27
Oh, well, if you don't mind my saying,
04:30
it's not a very good choice.
04:32
No, this house is most terribly unsafe.
04:35
It is crawling with Germans.
04:37
But you are on very good terms with them.
04:39
Well, yes, and again, no.
04:41
Let us say we get on.
04:42
Well, we have to, do we not?
04:44
I mean, just because they are the enemy
04:45
does not mean you can be rude to people,
04:47
not in my business.
04:49
Good.
04:49
You are about to perform a great service for France.
04:52
The escaping airmen will hide here
04:54
until you give them the forged papers.
04:56
Well, where will I get forged papers?
04:59
A man will live here in your cellar.
05:01
He is an expert forger.
05:02
He will forge the papers and give them to you.
05:05
Oh, well, could I not just post the papers
05:08
to wherever the airmen were before they came here?
05:12
Save them a journey.
05:13
I mean, it's no trouble.
05:14
I would even pay for the stamp.
05:15
If the letter was intercepted,
05:18
it would be traced back to you
05:20
and you would find yourself in the town square,
05:22
dead.
05:22
Your way is best.
05:26
Well, where is this man who is to do the forging?
05:29
Oh, it is better that you do not know his whereabouts.
05:32
But for the moment, he is in a very safe place.
05:35
How would you like to be down by the Seine's knee?
05:46
Oh, would I give for an hour or two
05:51
under the bridges of Paris with you?
05:56
Oh, would I give for an hour or two?
06:26
I want you in the back room.
06:54
Oh, Monsieur René, it's about your wife.
06:57
This is a matter of utmost urgency.
06:59
But with you, it is always a matter of utmost urgency.
07:03
We shall be doing this for France.
07:06
No, you are the one who does it for France.
07:08
I'm just a waitress.
07:09
You, where's your towel?
07:11
Yvette, Edith, in the back room.
07:20
Michelle, this is my wife, Edith.
07:21
I have told her everything.
07:23
Will she talk?
07:24
Incessantly.
07:26
But not about anything important.
07:29
This is Yvette and this is Maria.
07:30
Are they with us?
07:31
Do they understand the need for secrecy?
07:33
They will give nothing away, especially this one.
07:37
Right.
07:38
Listen very carefully.
07:39
I shall say these only words.
07:42
The forger, Monsieur Leclerc, will arrive tomorrow.
07:45
You will pass him off as a cousin
07:47
who has come to help you in the restaurant.
07:49
He will need papers.
07:50
He is a forger.
07:52
He will make his own papers.
07:54
Of course.
07:55
How quickly I have lost the thread of this tapestry of intrigue.
07:58
Two British airmen are in a farmhouse 20 miles from here.
08:04
They will arrive in four days disguised as onion sellers.
08:08
But onions are not in season.
08:10
That is how you will know they are the airmen.
08:15
You will conceal them until Monsieur Leclerc has prepared their peppers.
08:20
Now, did my men come to fix a radio transmitter?
08:22
Yes.
08:23
They have put it in the attic room.
08:24
It is the room of my mother.
08:26
It is the only place where nobody goes unless they have to.
08:31
But I wish to speak with you about that.
08:33
It is not very convenient.
08:35
Show me.
08:36
Follow me.
08:36
Follow me.
08:42
One moment.
08:44
Is your wife's mother prepared to die for France?
08:47
She's been prepared to die for 30 years.
08:50
But she doesn't go.
08:51
I think God does not want the aggravation.
09:02
Visitors, Mama?
09:03
What is it?
09:05
Visitors to see you.
09:07
I do not want to see anybody.
09:09
Tell them to come back tomorrow.
09:12
They can't.
09:13
It is the resistance.
09:15
I do not need any assistance.
09:17
No, it is the French resistance.
09:22
You fool.
09:24
Do you want the OTAN to hear?
09:26
Where is the transmitter?
09:31
You see?
09:36
You see what I mean?
09:37
It is not very convenient.
09:40
Where is the speaker?
09:41
That is the other problem.
09:44
What is happening?
09:46
What is it?
09:47
You see?
09:53
I cannot make her understand that she must not use this one.
09:57
She must use the one in the cupboard.
10:00
You must use this.
10:02
I do not want to go.
10:05
But when you do, you must use this one.
10:09
In front of strangers.
10:12
Never.
10:14
Yvette, have you fixed up the aerial and the earth?
10:16
I did as I was shown.
10:18
Your men told us to use the metal bed as the aerial and the water pipes as the earth.
10:23
But where is the power?
10:24
Maria, switch on the power.
10:26
You fools, you have earthed my wife's mother.
10:37
All right, all right, I give in.
10:40
I do want to go.
10:42
I do want to go, vay, vay.
10:54
I do want to go.
10:55
Hey, I do want to go.
10:55
Oh my God, sir.
10:55
place France don't you think so Fairfax Napoleon planted all these trees you know wonder he found
11:04
time to fight any battles he didn't do it personally fathead he had them planted to
11:10
keep the Sun off his troops while they were marching up and down you notice whenever we
11:17
pass these peasant people they seem to stare at us in rather an odd way maybe it's because
11:21
you're riding a girl's bicycle doing something wrong I think I've cracked it we're riding on the wrong
11:42
side of the road
11:49
don't buy the same with you
11:52
under the breeches of paradise with you
11:57
I think our dreams come home
12:01
I think our dreams come home
12:05
Yvette, back home
12:07
check that door
12:15
check the window
12:20
clear
12:25
didn't anybody see you leave the bar
12:27
no
12:27
good
12:28
don't you worry about us yet
12:35
no
12:35
no we must wait until the war is over
12:38
but the war might go on forever
12:40
no no no the British will set us free one day it may take years but they will come
12:48
well yes but it will take more than two before I tell the why
13:12
are you expecting us by any chance what does he say I don't know I don't speak English
13:22
we wish to talk to Monsieur René
13:29
ah we British come from the sky shot down
13:36
ah
13:37
ah
13:38
ah
13:39
ah
13:40
ah
13:42
ah
13:43
ah
13:44
ah
13:45
ah
13:46
ah
13:47
ah
13:48
ah
13:49
ah
13:50
ah
13:51
ah
13:52
ah
13:53
ah
13:54
ah
13:55
ah
13:56
ah
13:57
too
13:58
ah
14:25
why has he given me his watch maybe the British are grateful because we fought
14:34
the Germans while they ran away at Dunkirk you had best keep it they must be offended
14:39
thank you he's pocketing the damn thing I don't want them here this place is crawling with Germans
14:49
well what am I going to do with them we must hide them until we can talk to Michelle
14:54
I think she says where are we going to hide them what are they talking about I don't know
14:58
but I think you're somewhere to get your watch about you but I'm damn peckish me hungry I think
15:18
we have the toothache no dentist that's definite enough no food don't we wanted the watch
15:29
here you are you mercenary frog thank you
15:37
what do you make of that perhaps we're getting sardines
15:51
how can I make them understand we have to hide them
15:57
leave it to me
16:04
what do you make of that I think she wants me to go behind the curtains
16:20
in that case what are those for maybe she's got a sticky catch on her bra
16:25
senior officer I think I should go first
16:28
Michelle these two idiots are here two days too soon what am I going to do with them
16:45
you must hide them I can't hide them I have no time to organize things I have not yet prepared the
16:51
cellar then you must hide them where no one will look in the cafe under the noses of the Germans
16:57
go and find us a table where we will be alone I have a little English I will explain
17:02
okay chaps follow the boss
17:06
oh thank god she speaks English
17:08
Maria these are two British airmen I want you to take care of them
17:15
both of them
17:16
yes of course both of them
17:17
it's the same time but my room is so small
17:21
find them a table
17:23
come
17:26
the messenger has just been
17:34
Mr. Leclerc de Forger will be here any minute
17:36
what well how will we recognize him
17:39
he will come to the bar and order a cognac
17:41
he will then ask for a light
17:43
you will say you have no matches
17:45
then he will reveal himself
17:47
cognac
17:49
light
17:51
no matches
17:52
good I will stay here in case he arrive
17:54
should I sing another song
17:56
no
17:57
we're in enough trouble already
18:00
Hans
18:11
you see that officer's there
18:13
I do not recognize him
18:15
perhaps he's on leave from the Russian flood
18:17
that's what they all say
18:19
watch him
18:20
he could be attached to intelligence
18:21
if he finds out we've been putting a little away for a rainy day
18:25
things could get very difficult for us
18:27
perhaps we should move the silver and the paintings
18:29
never mention the silver and the paintings
18:32
oh Patron
18:39
may an old man sing a few songs for your customers
18:43
oh
18:43
please
18:44
I am an old soldier
18:46
no money
18:47
no pension
18:48
oh all right
18:50
one song only though
18:51
and then on your way
18:52
good evening
18:55
good evening
18:55
her lieutenant
18:55
and what is your pleasure
18:57
I would like a cognac
18:59
if you please
18:59
Maria
18:59
cognac for the officer
19:01
if you would like to
19:02
why not
19:03
why not
19:03
I expect you would like a lie
19:30
thank you
19:31
we are very kind
19:32
I have no matches
19:36
then why do you ask me if I would like a light
19:42
I'm very sorry
19:45
if you have no matches
19:49
if you have no matches
19:51
take mine
19:52
I have a spare box
19:53
are you one of them
19:56
really
20:00
it was very lonely
20:02
on the Russian front
20:03
where?
20:09
a cognac
20:10
if you please
20:11
Maria cognac
20:12
do you have a light?
20:33
a light for him
20:34
just lit it
20:35
I don't want the light
20:40
I just wondered if he had the light
20:42
I have no matches
20:46
just giving him some matches
20:49
these are your matches
20:56
they're not mine
20:57
is he one of us?
21:03
no he's one of them
21:04
please do not tell everybody
21:06
this is colonel von strom
21:14
secretary speaking
21:15
the colonel is requiring
21:17
three kilos of butter
21:19
two kilos of sugar
21:21
ten litres of paraffin
21:23
and twenty litres of gasoline
21:24
yes you're right
21:26
it was the egg whisk again
21:28
it is not much to look at
21:37
herr colonel
21:37
Hans you ignorant peasant
21:40
this is probably
21:41
the first cuckoo clock
21:43
ever made
21:43
absolutely priceless
21:45
and this
21:47
this is the fallen madonna
21:49
by van Klomp
21:50
it was such a torture
21:53
after the war
21:53
is it wise
21:55
to have it in your office?
21:56
who will see it
21:56
apart from Helga?
21:58
come to think of it
21:59
it looks a little like Helga
22:00
you too?
22:11
is this the office
22:12
of colonel von strom?
22:13
yes
22:14
have you an appointment?
22:18
my name is Otto Flick
22:20
Gestapo
22:21
ah
22:22
you don't need an appointment
22:24
I will tell the colonel
22:27
that you're here
22:27
stop
22:28
stop
22:28
your top button
22:30
is undone
22:31
yes Herr Flick
22:32
attend to it
22:33
yes Herr Flick
22:34
stop
22:42
the seam of your left stocking
22:45
is crooked
22:46
yes Herr Flick
22:50
yes Herr Flick
22:51
yes Herr Flick
22:52
stop
22:56
stop
22:57
stop
22:58
stop
22:58
stop
23:00
your right stocking
23:03
is also crooked
23:04
yes Herr Flick
23:06
attend to it
23:08
yes Herr Flick
23:10
colonel
23:10
colonel
23:11
colonel
23:24
a man from the Gestapo
23:25
is here to see you
23:26
Gestapo?
23:27
no
23:27
you say what for
23:30
no
23:31
but he notices
23:32
everything
23:33
keep him busy
23:34
for a minute
23:35
in the drawer
23:43
he comes to claw
23:44
he comes to claw
23:46
to claw
23:47
the claw
23:47
my assistant captain Hans Gehring
24:17
he seems very young to be here
24:21
why is he not at the front
24:23
he has many medical problems
24:25
my orders are directly from Berlin
24:30
from the FĂ¼hrer himself
24:32
the Chateau Fontenac is in your district
24:36
it has come to his attention that in the Fontenac collection
24:40
is the Fallen Madonna by Van Klomp
24:43
the FĂ¼hrer would like this for his collection
24:46
but I have bad news
24:49
when I visited the Chateau
24:51
it had already been taken away
24:54
along with one or two other valuable pieces
24:57
it is the French
25:00
they pinch everything
25:01
I shall remain in the district until it is found
25:06
you will instigate searches immediately
25:09
very good, Herr Flick
25:11
you will report progress tomorrow at
25:13
what time shall we say
25:15
very well
25:35
at five o'clock tomorrow
25:37
while Hitler
25:39
closer
25:45
closer
25:46
what's he up to now
25:51
I don't know
25:52
I think it's from our false identity papers
25:55
I shall
25:57
hello
26:00
hello
26:00
this is Nighthawk
26:02
can you hear me
26:04
can you hear me
26:05
over
26:06
of course
26:07
I can
26:08
not you
26:12
shut up
26:13
hello
26:16
hello
26:17
ask your message
26:20
what is the code
26:21
to tell them
26:22
that the British airmen have arrived
26:23
the little cupboard is full
26:26
what
26:26
what is that
26:27
the little cupboard is full
26:30
no
26:31
no
26:31
no
26:31
I have not used it all the time
26:34
hello
26:39
hello
26:40
listen carefully
26:42
Nighthawk
26:43
here is your message
26:45
get the code book
26:46
the code book
26:47
Aunt Eloise
26:49
and their sister
26:50
will arrive
26:51
on Thursday
26:52
over
26:53
look up Aunt Eloise
26:55
we have no
26:56
Aunt Eloise
26:58
Aunt Eloise
27:00
this means
27:01
two airmen
27:02
two airmen
27:03
they cannot have this bed
27:05
they don't have Thursday
27:07
Thursday
27:07
means
27:08
Thursday
27:09
today
27:11
and we have not got rid of the other two yet
27:13
they must get a move on down there
27:16
oh no
27:17
oh no
27:18
do not leave me like this
27:20
shut up
27:21
oh
27:22
oh
27:23
Mr. Leclerc
27:30
I have a problem
27:31
how soon before the papers are finished
27:32
so I can get rid of these two
27:34
there's the printing
27:36
the signatures
27:37
and the stamps
27:38
ten days
27:40
ten days
27:42
but I've got another 2m
27:43
in the writing
27:43
any minute
27:44
I must get rid of these two
27:46
it's not possible
27:47
oh my god
27:48
what's going on now
27:49
oh they flap about anything
27:51
these geezers
27:52
come here
27:52
come up
27:53
the storm is upstairs
27:54
he's in a panic
27:55
he wishes to see you immediately
27:56
what
27:57
if he finds these two
27:59
here we'll all be shut
28:00
good god
28:09
do you know what this means
28:11
Hitler's upstairs
28:12
my dear colonel
28:20
what can I do for you
28:21
this is a matter of great delicacy
28:23
you are in possession of german butter
28:25
sugar
28:26
paraffin and gasoline
28:28
for which you can be shot
28:29
but you gave them to me
28:31
your vote against mine
28:33
your vote against his
28:34
however
28:36
I'm prepared to overlook this
28:37
if you will agree to hide a few little articles
28:40
and a worthless picture from the chateau
28:43
oh
28:43
is it the reclining madonna
28:45
with the big boobies
28:46
how did you know about this
28:49
well I told you where it was
28:51
in return for the motorcycle
28:53
the chocolate
28:53
and the fact that you were going to shoot me
28:55
well I'll have to hide it against the gestapo
28:59
are looking for it
28:59
you will put it in your cellar
29:01
well what if they find it
29:04
they will shoot you
29:05
but then what should I hide it
29:07
because if you don't
29:08
I will have you shot
29:10
for the butter
29:11
the sugar
29:12
the paraffin
29:13
and the gasoline
29:14
I will be glad when this war is over
29:16
Maria, Yvette
29:18
take these worthless parcels
29:20
and put them in the cellar
29:21
oh my god
29:23
the British airmen are here already
29:25
Jacques, Pierre, my old friends
29:28
wine on the house
29:29
for my old friends
29:30
Jacques and Pierre
29:32
the onion cellars
29:33
you are very kind monsieur
29:35
but my name is Claude
29:36
this is Alex
29:37
this is our first visitor
29:38
but in that case
29:40
you can pay for your own wine
29:41
because where did they go?
29:43
they went down the cellar
29:44
to make sure it was not too damp
29:46
for the reclining madonna
29:47
with the big boobies
29:48
you better brush up
29:53
on the Marseillais
29:54
I say, Charles
29:59
I've news for you
30:01
two more British airmen
30:02
are coming here very soon
30:04
oh, good show
30:05
what are their names?
30:06
do we know them?
30:06
she's gone
30:07
they don't hang about
30:08
do they?
30:09
oh
30:09
I say
30:10
that's a jolly good disguise
30:12
yes
30:13
how did you get the togs?
30:15
did you clobber
30:16
a couple of jetties?
30:19
monsieur René
30:20
what are these Englishmen doing here?
30:22
René
30:22
Ojo Fleet from the Gestapo
30:25
is upstairs
30:25
what?
30:26
how very convenient
30:28
I've got a nasty feeling
30:29
he's not one of us
30:30
are we escaping British prisoners
30:33
hmm?
30:34
when I tell the Gestapo
30:35
what I have found
30:36
I will get a medal for this
30:38
and what about the picture?
30:40
I would say
30:41
you stole it
30:41
and concealed it
30:42
ah
30:43
but Colonel
30:43
the Gestapo
30:44
will take the picture
30:45
back to Berlin
30:46
and then
30:46
goes your pension
30:48
I think René
30:49
I think René
30:49
has a very good point
30:49
there Cullinan
30:50
keep some quiet
30:53
I will deal
30:54
with the Gestapo
30:55
have you found
31:01
the treasure?
31:02
we have just searched
31:03
the cellar
31:04
not a smell of it
31:06
continue to look
31:07
I shall not return
31:09
to Berlin
31:09
until the picture
31:10
is found
31:11
Heil Hitler
31:12
Heil Hitler
31:13
Heil Hitler
31:14
ah
31:15
damn
31:15
Gilles
31:17
Pierre
31:18
Jacques
31:18
Emile
31:19
my old friends
31:20
come in
31:21
sit down
31:23
sit down
31:24
wine on the house
31:25
for my old friends
31:26
Pierre
31:26
Emile
31:27
and Jacques
31:28
and Gilles
31:29
sir
31:35
are suddenly
31:35
in this town
31:36
many onion sellers?
31:38
it is a festival
31:39
Heil Flick
31:40
every year
31:42
they gather
31:43
in the town
31:44
to examine
31:45
each other's onions
31:46
they do the dance
31:50
of the onions
31:51
and at midnight
31:53
they have the feast
31:55
of the onions
31:56
they just eat
31:59
and eat
31:59
all the onions
32:00
it sounds
32:03
very strange
32:04
to me
32:05
by 3 o'clock
32:06
in the morning
32:07
it sounds
32:07
unbelievable
32:08
come until tomorrow
32:13
colonel
32:14
I have just
32:29
saved your life
32:30
I am eternally grateful
32:32
colonel
32:33
and from now on
32:34
I give the orders
32:35
and you will listen
32:36
to every word
32:37
very carefully
32:38
and obey
32:39
every detail
32:40
anything you say
32:42
colonel
32:43
Yvette will be
32:44
in room 6
32:44
in one hour
32:45
with the vet's celery
32:46
and the flying helmet
32:48
and the feather duster
32:51
two
32:52
what about the egg whisk
32:55
no egg whisk
32:57
the electric mixer
32:59
with two speaks
ALLO ALLO
33:03
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