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00:00are looking up a slip of the tongue by the colonel revealed to me that the
00:05Germans are soon to invade England Churchill will of course chuck in the
00:09sponge the war will be over in a few weeks and life will return to normal at
00:13Café Renée the two stupid British airmen that I am hiding of course have no
00:18idea the Germans will invade soon and the British will surrender
00:25jolly good share no idea what I am talking about still as I was saying
00:32things are looking up what do you think are you taking a beekeeping I am
00:42choosing a veil for the wedding what wedding our wedding you to me do we have
00:49to go through with this ridiculous charade of course everyone saw the Germans
00:53execute you they believe you are your own twin brother you are living with me
00:58and tongues are wagging let them wag no feeling for my reputation anyway it is
01:05all arranged on the morning of the 14th the church bells will ring out the
01:10neighbors will line the streets they were throwing to the service the organ will
01:15play you will be waiting at the altar in your top hat and morning suit I will glide down the
01:24island smile up at you wearing this what do you think of it can you not get a thicker one
01:38go
01:39chigindo
01:40Gemino
01:42G
01:44I don't know.
02:15I forgot my key.
02:20How dare you employ a Gestapo dynamite for improper purposes?
02:25I'm sorry, Heflick. You have a visitor?
02:33You sent for me, Heflick?
02:35Yes, Helga. Take off your uniform.
02:42Will there be anything else, Heflick?
02:45Not while you are looking.
02:47Go away.
02:50Heflick, I am obeying your command, knowing not what is in store for me.
02:54All will be revealed in a moment.
02:57Of course, I have very little doubt.
02:59The Gestapo suspects that the colonel and General von Klinkerhofen may be involved in a plot to assassinate Hitler.
03:07I'm sure this is not so, Heflick.
03:09Continue to undress.
03:09Yes, Heflick.
03:13We cannot take any chances.
03:15Give me your uniform.
03:19Sit in the chair.
03:20Yes, Heflick.
03:26A listening device will be placed in the office of the colonel by a Gestapo agent disguised as a temporary
03:32typist.
03:33The colonel does not need a temporary typist.
03:36He will when you do not turn up for a week.
03:43Heflick.
03:44To potty you up.
03:48I was intending to lock you in here.
03:50Now I have no door.
03:51We must make other arrangements.
03:55Exciting as this may seem, Heflick.
03:57You are my fiancé.
03:58Why are you doing this to me?
04:01Because I do not wish you to reveal the identity of the Gestapo agent.
04:05Who is the Gestapo agent?
04:07Me.
04:19Owie, put the flowers on the table.
04:21We will soon be open.
04:22And I hope you will change your apron before we are open.
04:26There is more food on it than there is on the menu.
04:30I will wash it for you.
04:32I will use the last of my soap ration.
04:35Then I will press it against my odd body.
04:38As I sleep tonight dreaming of you.
04:41Would you wash my socks as well?
04:45Is the coast clear?
04:53Gas around.
04:54There is very little time.
04:55I shall say this only once.
04:57Before you start, that new radio is useless.
05:00Yes.
05:01All we can hear on it is...
05:05That is because the Gestapo are jamming it.
05:07I have come to tell you that we must have a longer aerial.
05:10But we do not possess a longer aerial.
05:12If you listen, I will tell you.
05:14Once.
05:16A kite is being constructed that will take the wire to the required height.
05:21Mimi, you will collect this kite from the convent.
05:24To avoid suspicion, you will be disguised as a small nun.
05:27You could hardly be disguised as a big one.
05:31Why cannot I go?
05:33I can disguise myself as a nun just as well as she can.
05:36You are known to all the village as a woman of the streets.
05:40Lots of women of the streets become nuns.
05:44Not overnight.
05:49You will fly the kite and inform London that the radio is working.
05:53Will that not be obvious?
05:55You will also inform them that we require plastic explosives in order to break into the German general's safe in
06:01the chateau to obtain the details of the plan to invade England.
06:04Could you not do some of these?
06:07Why is it that you always question my decisions?
06:09Do you think you could do my job better?
06:11Do you think you could run the resistance keeping everyone happy?
06:14Deciding who to shoot, what to blow up, making threatening calls?
06:18Do you know what my telephone bill is every month?
06:23Why don't you go and join the communist resistance?
06:26Get up there, nosies!
06:28Michelle, I have never seen you like this before.
06:31Oh, I'm sorry.
06:32Sometimes I wonder if it is all worthwhile.
06:37Now you put the guns.
06:39You have upset the resistance.
06:43And you have made her drop her bullets.
06:49Oh, look.
06:50Do not put this one in your gun.
06:52It is a lipstick.
06:55All right, all right.
06:56I am sorry, Michelle.
06:57I am sorry.
06:57We will do as you ask.
06:59Look, you just go and disappear like a phantom.
07:03Take her away, girls.
07:07Good morning.
07:12Outside your coffee was this bunch of diffidoles and doozies.
07:18Pinned to them is a knit.
07:24Pardon me if I love you, but I have my dirty to-do.
07:30They are for you, Edith.
07:32Who could be sending you flowers?
07:33Oh, they are from the Italian captain.
07:36Then, to Madame Edith, a beautiful lady.
07:42And he has written me a little poem.
07:45All a night, I dream of your face as I sleep in my room.
07:50I think I must have been in love.
07:53My heart go boom, titty, boom, titty.
07:57That is a terrible poem.
07:59I will put him in water.
08:01He is not the first I tie to have had the odds for me.
08:07Just because ten years ago, an ice cream man gave her a free corny.
08:12Oh, Renée, we are alone.
08:14Oh, Renée.
08:15Oh, Renée.
08:17Oh, my body is crying out for you.
08:21Could you make it cry quietly?
08:23My wife is in the kitchen.
08:25Put around me your strong arms.
08:27Crush this yearning out of me.
08:29Put your rough cheek against my cheek.
08:31Run your rough hands through my hair.
08:33Put your rough lips against my lips.
08:36Oh, Renée, I would do anything for you.
08:40Well, next time you go to the chemist, could you get me a pot of skin cream?
08:48Monsieur, what is this I see before me?
08:50The fiancée of the woman I love locked in the arms of another.
08:54There is an explanation.
08:56To think that I have suppressed my desire for that honorable lady
09:00out of respect for your bravery and honor.
09:03And all the time you are doing a number behind her back.
09:07We were not kissing, we were holding each other.
09:10I do not wish to know what you were holding.
09:13Where is the woman I adore?
09:14She is in the kitchen.
09:16Gutting fish.
09:18Very well, monsieur.
09:19I will go to her.
09:21But from now on, monsieur, the gloves are off.
09:23And I will press my suit.
09:25I intend telling her everything I've seen.
09:28But, monsieur Alphonse,
09:30a Frenchman does not tell on another French.
09:33This is true.
09:34But I have Belgian blood on my mother's side.
09:41Ah, Greber.
09:43Thank you for coming.
09:46There is Helga.
09:47I wish I knew.
09:48She hasn't reported for duty.
09:50I do not know why they have girls in the army.
09:53They are most unreliable.
09:54It's a man's job.
09:55I quite agree.
09:57Now, Greber, you have got to help me.
09:59We must get rid of this terrible Italian.
10:01He does nothing but hang around my office and get in my hair.
10:07It's worse than that, colonel.
10:09He is sharing my billet.
10:11It's difficult to make the copies of the paintings which we intend to sell after the war.
10:16He's got to go.
10:17Oh, I wonder if René could get the resistance to blow him up.
10:22That does seem a little drastic, colonel.
10:25Well, almost blow him up.
10:26Just enough to make him a nervous wreck.
10:28So he can be sent home.
10:30He's very boring.
10:32He's always talking about his conquests with women.
10:35I know.
10:36It's bad enough to be an Italian.
10:38But to be a boring Italian is unforgivable.
10:43Colonel, my friend.
10:50You too, my friend.
10:57I bring the papers.
10:59All over, we win the war.
11:01You don't win the war.
11:03We win the war.
11:05Well, you Germans, you like the war.
11:08We Italians, we don't want no trouble.
11:10We make the pastor.
11:11We make the love.
11:13And we sing.
11:14One night of love.
11:17Silence!
11:18I will not have singing in my office.
11:20One wonders, Captain Bert Raleigh,
11:22why you joined the army in the first instance.
11:25Is the uniform.
11:27Is the driver the lady is mad.
11:41My name is Irma von Kinkenbrotten.
11:43I am your temporary stenographer.
11:46There's Helga.
11:47She has been unexpectedly detained.
11:49As one of her most intimate female girlfriends,
11:52she has asked me to stand in for her.
11:54To demonstrate how excited I am
11:56at this opportunity to be of service
11:58to you and the fatherland,
11:59I have bought you these flowers.
12:05If you do that again, you will be shot.
12:10What a mistake of the maker.
12:12Thank you, Private Kinkenbrotten.
12:14That will be all.
12:15That will not be all.
12:17The general has sent orders
12:18that you report to him at the chateau.
12:20At what time?
12:21At once.
12:21At the double.
12:22Think!
12:22You mustn't keep the general waiting.
12:24I'll give you a lift in my little tank.
12:26It's quite speedy
12:27if you give it a bit of shtick.
12:29Is there a rumor for me?
12:31If you sit on by me?
12:33If you sit on by me,
12:33I take the bus.
12:44I take the bus.
12:53What are you doing in my clobber?
12:55And how did you get here?
12:56Removing my shoe,
12:57I succeeded in grasping
12:58one of my hairpins
12:59between my toes.
13:01Placing it between my teeth,
13:02I managed to wiggle open the lock
13:04on the steel band,
13:05restraining one of my wrists.
13:07After that,
13:07it was quite simple.
13:09You clearly have many talents
13:10formerly unknown to me.
13:12Take these headphones
13:13and pass them through the window.
13:18And stop doing that silly limp.
13:25What are you doing, Hesley?
13:27Come here,
13:27and I will show you.
13:29In this vase
13:30is a powerful Gestapo microphone.
13:32It can be activated
13:33from a distance
13:34in this fashion.
13:37Ah!
13:47through this almost
13:48invisible microphone
13:50as the most
13:51intimate conversations
13:52can be heard.
13:55I find the ingenuity
13:56of the Gestapo
13:57most exciting, Hesley.
13:59You may kiss me.
14:00I overheard that
14:02quite distinctly.
14:03Don't hide under a bush.
14:08How would you like
14:09to hug and squeeze?
14:12How would you like
14:13to daddy beyond
14:14your knees?
14:16How would you like
14:17to be my
14:19lovey-dovey?
14:20How would you like
14:21to spoon with me?
14:25Oh, Magnifico!
14:26He likes it.
14:28He likes it.
14:30He doesn't cover you.
14:32She'll sing again.
14:33She's a beautiful lady.
14:36Also, she is owner
14:37of cafe.
14:38After all the war is over,
14:39it's a nice business
14:40for Alberto.
14:41Bravo!
14:42More and more and more.
14:43I thought we Germans
14:45were supposed to be
14:45the ruthless ones.
14:48Enough.
14:49I would like to sing
14:49for you a little
14:50enough.
14:51I am sorry.
14:52My wife cannot sing
14:53for you again,
14:53Captain Bertorelli.
14:54But really,
14:55the captain likes
14:56my singing.
14:57Edith,
14:58we have to light
14:59the candles
14:59in the church.
15:00It is our
15:01special saint's day.
15:03Have you forgotten,
15:04Edith,
15:04or are you
15:04as I as a kite?
15:06What special saint's day
15:08is this?
15:08It is the patron saint
15:09of all the innkeepers.
15:11That is right,
15:12yes,
15:13Saint Inebriata.
15:16Go then.
15:17Edith,
15:17go ahead, ready.
15:19Listen,
15:20we have to leave now
15:21to contact London.
15:22You look after the bar.
15:23You know what to do?
15:25I was running a bar
15:28when the Kaiser
15:29was in shorts.
15:31Now,
15:32somebody wants
15:34a large gin.
15:36Who?
15:38Me.
15:40René,
15:41more drinks,
15:41table three.
15:42Um,
15:43two cognacs.
15:45Two cognacs.
15:46One house wine.
15:48One house wine.
15:49René,
15:50look.
15:52A very small nun.
15:54I'm a small nun.
15:58Ah,
15:59uh,
15:59holy sister of mercy,
16:01um,
16:03how unusual
16:04to see one of your calling
16:06coming in
16:06through the front door.
16:08No doubt you are here
16:09to remind me
16:09about the candle lighting
16:10in the church.
16:11Um,
16:12go into the kitchen,
16:13sister,
16:13and, uh,
16:14help yourself
16:14to a bowl of gruel
16:15and stay in there
16:16or you'll get us all shot.
16:22Right.
16:23Now,
16:23all we need
16:24are the batteries
16:25for the wireless.
16:26They are in the big
16:26ampere in the kitchen.
16:28Are you ready?
16:28He did.
16:29I am scared
16:29out of my skin.
16:30What if we get caught?
16:31René,
16:32where is your manhood?
16:34Do not start
16:35all that again.
17:03General,
17:05we sing
17:05and we chat
17:06up with the girls.
17:07Then after we have
17:08the lunch,
17:09we make the war.
17:11I am firmly
17:11under the impression,
17:12Captain Bertarelli,
17:13that you could not
17:14fight your way
17:14out of a wet paper bag.
17:16You will all accompany me
17:17on my 12th inspection
17:18of the area
17:18under my command.
17:20March!
17:22Colonel,
17:23how does he say
17:24about the paper bag?
17:25How does he think
17:26I win all these medals,
17:27huh?
17:28You shatter your cakehole.
17:39Oh,
17:40these batteries
17:40are heavy as led.
17:42That is because
17:43they are led.
17:44The radio
17:44is no lightweight either.
17:46No,
17:46it is picnic.
17:48I would gladly
17:49help you ladies,
17:50but as you know,
17:51I have a lot of
17:51back trouble.
17:52Also,
17:53you have a lot
17:53of front trouble.
17:55How much closer are you?
17:56This will be a nice
17:57place for a picnic.
17:59We did.
17:59We are not having
18:00a picnic.
18:00We are trying
18:01to contact London.
18:02Now,
18:03where is Crabtree?
18:06Good morning.
18:11Where is the coat?
18:13He means kite.
18:15It is under my skirt.
18:18Gentlemen,
18:19avert your eyes.
18:20I hope she did not
18:22thonk that we were
18:22looking at a nun's knockers.
18:25I hope you
18:26can assemble the kite.
18:39That area will be
18:40occupied by one
18:41regiment of artillery.
18:42What a pretty field.
18:45In a few months' time,
18:46there will be
18:462,000 men
18:48camping here.
18:48Make a note
18:49of that,
18:49Grieber.
18:50I already have.
18:56It's very large.
18:58The area
18:58has to be very high
18:59to get above
19:00the jamming.
19:01The wire is connected.
19:03There is a strong
19:04wind from the wasp.
19:06It is best that
19:07we conceal ourselves
19:08in the bushes
19:08with the radio
19:09whilst you get
19:10the kite in the air.
19:11Here is the wire.
19:12I have the microphone
19:13and the earphones
19:14in the picnic basket
19:15with the tomatoes
19:16and the cucumbers.
19:18Michelle must be mad.
19:19Does she not think
19:20the Germans will see
19:21a thing of that size?
19:22At 500 feet,
19:24it will be just
19:24like a little dot.
19:26Yvette and I
19:26will hold the coat
19:28in the ear.
19:29On the word go,
19:30we will lunch it.
19:32What do I do?
19:34Here.
19:34Take the wire
19:35and run into the wind
19:36as fast as you can.
19:37And good lick.
19:40Are you ready?
19:41Get it up.
19:43Get it up.
19:44Stand by.
19:47One, two, through, go.
19:54Faster.
19:55Faster.
19:56I am going
19:57as fast as I can.
19:58Faster.
20:01Oh, well done, Renée.
20:05Let out the line.
20:08Already I am hearing
20:09the crackling.
20:11Hello, London.
20:12Hello, London.
20:13This is Nighthawk
20:14calling London.
20:18The wind,
20:19it is very strong up there.
20:21It is slipping
20:22through my hands.
20:24Get it up higher.
20:26Get it up higher.
20:27It is burning my fingers.
20:29I cannot...
20:37Hello, London.
20:39Hello, London.
20:41This is Mrs. Nighthawk
20:42calling London.
20:45We have done funny things.
20:52God,
20:53we have lost our new
20:54waitress.
20:55Good stuff
20:56are so difficult
20:56to find.
20:59Quick,
20:59follow that nin.
21:03That will be
21:04the assembly area
21:05for 250 tanks.
21:07General,
21:07I know it's top secret,
21:09but when will we get
21:10to know the date
21:11for the invasion?
21:13Unfortunately,
21:14Hitler depends more
21:14on the advice
21:15of his astrologers
21:16than his generals.
21:17He claims to be
21:18waiting for a sign.
21:19When that sign arrives,
21:20he will invade.
21:23It is my opinion
21:24that we are not
21:25yet ready.
21:39Would you regard
21:40a flying nun
21:41as a lucky omen?
21:43They should think
21:43he'd be off tomorrow.
21:45Why do you ask?
21:46No reason at all.
21:52No reason at all.
21:52No reason at all.
21:52No reason at all.
21:52No reason at all.
21:52No reason at all.
21:52No reason at all.
21:53No reason at all.
21:53No reason at all.
21:53No reason at all.