- 2 days ago
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00:04you are probably wondering what I am doing behind that tree well I will tell you but listen very
00:10carefully because I should say this only once you will remember that I own a cafe which is
00:17being used by the resistance for riding escaping British airmen well everybody seems to know about
00:22this except my wife's mother and the Gestapo and up to now I've had a better relationship with the
00:27Gestapo those two men disguised as scarecrows are in fact British airmen those two onion sellers are
00:37none other than the German town commandant Colonel von Strom and his assistant Captain Geary now they
00:44look unhappy for two reasons first their new uniforms which are being made to replace the
00:51old ones which they lent the British airmen who when they thought they were going to be captured
00:54by other Germans and interrogated as conspirators set fire to them and burned them to a crisp you
00:59are with me so far did not fit and are now on their way back to London by tiger moth
01:04the second reason
01:07the uniforms are being made in London by a Jewish tailor which is against the rules in the journey
01:13oh and the Gestapo are also looking for a painting of the fallen Madonna with a big
01:19darken clump this is also winging its way across the channel in order that a copy can be made so
01:25that the original can become the personal property of the colonel who is as bent as a cockscrew
01:32what happens next your guess is as good as mine
01:36Rene we have much to do the Germans may have heard the plan we did
01:47there's the other German troops under my command who will shoot us if they catch us with this lot
01:52these are the orders for our next move from here we go north but if you don't mind my saying
01:58so my cafe is
01:59south the railway is north but we could walk home why take a train of course we have to blow
02:06up the
02:06railway what what are we going to do with these German swine we shall have to take them with us
02:13what use are they if anyone is interested i took a course in explosives
02:19we have German officers part of the great army that is winning the war we do not help the resistance
02:26to blow up our supply lines on the other hand if general von klinkerhofen finds out that we have
02:33lent our uniforms to the British airmen to help them escape we will be in dead stock
02:41if we help them blow up the railway von klinkerhofen's train will not arrive so we won't have to meet
02:47it
02:47so we won't have to wear our uniforms so he won't know that we haven't got them and if you
02:52don't
02:52cooperate we will shoot you and add your corpses in the cups
02:58oh well and you're winning the law what's one of the railway follow me
03:23i am here in obedience to your orders her flick you are quite punctual only 12 seconds late
03:32stand over there
03:44we do not wish to be disturbed do we you don't take any chances have nick
04:07you are trembling are you afraid of me the streets are cold but you're also perspiring your room is hot
04:17the room is 62.5 degrees this is not hot i can hide nothing from you her flick
04:24i'm trembling with uncertainty and perspiring with anticipation
04:28this is not unusual take off your jacket yes her flick
04:40on the bed
04:43your jacket
04:49let down your hair yes
04:59anything else not yet
05:05sit down
05:17the colonel is behaving strangely do you think he will find the painting of the fallen madonna with the big
05:24boobies
05:26it's hard to say the whole thing is in the air at the moment are you telling me the truth
05:32i promise i swear on my honor you can do what you like to me we shall come to that
05:38later
05:53come with me bring the Germans Yvette you come too
06:04stand by for a quick get away
06:14the railway line runs in that cutting
06:17look do you really need me i have had no experience in this sort of thing all i have
06:23ever blown up is a balloon
06:25you will take these speds
06:27what are these speds for
06:29to take an hole under the slipper for the explosives
06:32what follow me
06:35what's going on fairfax
06:37can't be gardening at this time of night
06:40speaking for myself i'm jolly frightened
06:42me too
06:46dig an hole under the sleeper here
06:49Yvette you have the explosives i have it straight to my thigh
06:54you are very brave Yvette
06:56i know
06:57if you had tripped that cork could have put an end to everything
07:02i've been thinking of nothing else
07:05there is a lot missing
07:06yes well you see my wife gave some to my mother-in-law and and quite a lot to the
07:12chickens
07:12you fool can i trust you with nothing
07:15there might not be enough to blow up the train
07:17oh well in that case do not let us waste time let's go home
07:21wait here with the germans i will crash the lorry onto the line
07:25that and the explosives will stop the train
07:28once you get an idea into your head you don't let go do you
07:36i am sorry for the delay colonel a little technical matter you understand
07:40well at least we can have a drink while we're waiting
07:43no that is not gin what is it it's nitroglycerine
07:48why don't you
07:49why don't you
08:26I say, it's all good, isn't it?
08:37We surrender.
08:38We surrender.
08:39Don't shoot.
08:41You think this would be a good time to tell them we are German officers?
08:44It would have been if you hadn't just blown up the railway.
08:51Good evening.
08:53You're probably wondering what I am doing here.
08:58It is Renée, Yvette.
09:02Oh, will nobody attend to me?
09:07Coming, Mama.
09:10What is your neglect doing in your bed?
09:14Well, he was sleeping in the cellar.
09:17It is very windy down there.
09:20It's not much better up here.
09:25Why have I been left alone so long?
09:29I had a headache.
09:34I was talking to my daughter.
09:37The Germans have arrested Renée.
09:39He's in the nick.
09:40He will be shot.
09:41Oh, I always knew it.
09:44His eyes are too close together.
09:47You should have married the butcher.
09:50He'll like you.
09:52Every time you pass his shop, he waved at you with his chopper.
09:59I have to think of a plan to rescue him.
10:03Monsieur Leclerc, you have been in prison many times.
10:06Can you help me?
10:07Of course, madame.
10:09I can help you.
10:11I have been in many French nicks.
10:16Always a gigolo.
10:20I am ready, madame.
10:22Lead on.
10:22I will follow.
10:31Look at it how you feel.
10:33This is a very serious situation.
10:36Colonel, surely you know somebody who could order our release?
10:39There is only one person who could order our release.
10:43Who?
10:43Me.
10:50Renée.
10:51Huh?
10:51If they shoot us, at least I will die by your side.
10:54If you died in front of me, I'd have a better chance.
10:59Renée, you do love me, don't you?
11:01Of course I love you, Yvette, of course.
11:04Oh, Renée.
11:06What do you think it will be like in Everton?
11:08Well, I don't suppose they'll let us do this first.
11:13Only the French would have boys and girls in the same cell.
11:20Helga!
11:21How did you get up there?
11:23I am standing on a peasant.
11:27Have you come to get us out?
11:28No, but I have your uniforms back from the cleaners.
11:31Where are they?
11:32In the office, ready for you when you get out.
11:34But how do we get out?
11:37Here is a hacksaw for the boss.
11:39Ah, thank you.
11:41Even without bars, I can't get through this little window.
11:44I could.
11:44Yes, but you can't sign the orders.
11:46You're not senior enough.
11:48I could forge your signature.
11:49I have done it before.
11:51No!
11:51Now it's all coming out.
11:54General von...
11:57Stand still!
12:00General von Klinkhofen is arriving by car.
12:03He's most displeased.
12:04Somebody's blown up the railway.
12:05It was him.
12:07I felt him.
12:09I must go.
12:11Somebody's coming.
12:12Ah!
12:13Don't get me round.
12:16Boys.
12:18There's you in no doubt all going to be shot.
12:20You will no doubt wish to see a priest.
12:24Come this way.
12:25Come this way.
12:27Come this way.
12:28Come this way.
12:29Come this way.
12:30Come this way.
12:31Come this way.
12:32Come this way.
12:33Come this way.
12:35And when the first girl pinted him down, he was unglacing.
12:42Shh.
12:43It is I, LeClaire.
12:46Well, I never would have guessed.
12:48What do you want?
12:49I bring you good news.
12:51Shh.
12:52Your married-in-law and your wife are coming to see you.
12:56This is good news?
12:58Also, I have for you sealed on my personal.
13:05The axel.
13:06The axel.
13:07We already have an axel, you silly old fool.
13:10In that case, my son, up yours.
13:18And I have given them my blessing.
13:20Let me out.
13:23Bless you.
13:25And you.
13:26And you.
13:32Find this.
13:33Oh, and mother.
13:36Shh.
13:38You have more visitors.
13:46Why are you putting me in here with these smelly peasants?
13:52Say goodbye to your son-in-law.
13:55Goodbye.
13:55Let us get out.
14:01Oh, René.
14:02Not now, Edith.
14:05We have a plan.
14:06Good.
14:07What is it?
14:12We are up to here with axels.
14:14I am down to there with axels.
14:18It was Michelle's plan.
14:21Now, listen carefully.
14:22She said this only once.
14:26There are more.
14:27Isn't it, Fairfax?
14:30I was just thinking, if the Jerry's find us dressed in civvies, it'll take quite a lot
14:36of explaining.
14:37If they found us in bed with each other, it would take even more explaining.
14:44Carstairs?
14:45Oh.
14:46Are you a grammar school boy?
14:49How do you know?
14:52I've been wearing your socks in bed.
15:00Come along.
15:02Time is up.
15:03Time to go home, Mama.
15:19Edith, I do not wish to nitpick, but why could not Yvette and I have escaped?
15:23I mean, what kind of a plan is it that leaves me still in the cooler?
15:27It was Michelle's plan.
15:29The Colonel, once he's back in his office, will sign the papers for your release.
15:33And what if he doesn't?
15:35Then Michelle will tell the Gestapo that it was the Colonel who nicked the painting of
15:39the fuller Madonna with the big boobies.
15:42What do you think, René?
15:44I once heard a proverb about the best laid plans of mice and men.
15:49This plan was definitely laid by a mouse.
15:53I hope you can say that again.
15:56If it should go wrong, René, I shall be by your side.
16:00And as it is a game, I shall sing the Matthias.
16:05And I hope they are quick on the trigger.
16:10Well, Hanson, it's good to be back in the uniform.
16:14We are very lucky to get out of that jail.
16:17You were very convincing as René's 85-year-old mother-in-law.
16:21You were very good as my daughter.
16:23I have good legs.
16:26The prisoner is outside.
16:28Good.
16:28Bring him in.
16:31Bring him inside.
16:43Right.
16:44You're dismissed.
16:50René, my old friend.
16:51Take a chair.
16:58Make yourself comfortable.
17:00You are most kind, Colonel.
17:03After all, we are all in this together.
17:05Well, I think some of us are in a little deeper.
17:08Can we not get rid of these things now?
17:11Not until I've signed the release form.
17:13I have a pen in my pocket here.
17:15René, we must proceed cautiously.
17:18This morning, already, I have signed for the release of your wife and mother-in-law.
17:22And Yvette.
17:22And Yvette.
17:23He signed hers first.
17:26Shut up, Hans.
17:28We have to show someone to General von Klinkerhofen.
17:30Well, what happens when he has seen me?
17:33We will tell him you are a very small potato.
17:36And that they're going to shoot you or something.
17:38Or hand you over to the Gestapo.
17:40And then he will go away.
17:42And all will be well.
17:43I expect you feel very relieved.
17:46Well, up to a point.
17:48General von Klinkerhofen is here.
17:50Von Klinkerhofen is here.
17:52What a chance.
17:56Really, my friend.
17:57We may have to insult you a little.
18:00Go, you pig and dog and that sort of thing.
18:02Colonel, feel free.
18:07General von Klinkerhofen.
18:14Hey, Hitler.
18:15Hey, Hitler.
18:16Klopp.
18:19So, this is the ringleader.
18:22No, the ringleader escaped.
18:24This is just a poor, unfortunate peasant who was dragged in against his will.
18:29What he says is perfectly true.
18:31I am a small potato.
18:34Silence, you dog.
18:36Pig.
18:40Can you talk with him?
18:54What are the names of the other men in the block that brought back to him?
18:57Oh, let me think.
18:58There was a...
18:59He doesn't know.
19:00We've been through all that.
19:01Pig.
19:02Pig.
19:04He knows nothing.
19:06I think we should release him.
19:08I do not agree.
19:09I think he should be executed as an example.
19:14Er, don't you think that's a little drastic, Colonel?
19:18Quiet, hyena.
19:20I must remember that.
19:23You'll be shot at dawn.
19:24Of course.
19:26I will supervise it personally.
19:28Good.
19:28How does seven o'clock suit you?
19:30Later would be better for me.
19:33Quiet, ding dong.
19:35Hyena.
19:37Frogface.
19:41I shall be there to see it done.
19:47Hey, Hitler.
19:47Hey, Hitler.
19:48Clap.
19:54He has departed.
19:56Colonel, if you don't get me out of this, well, I shall be forced to reveal how you stole
20:01the painting, how you lent your uniforms to the British airmen to help them escape, and
20:04how you blew up the railway.
20:06I did not blow up the railway.
20:07He blew up the railway.
20:09How will we get in this mess?
20:11I have an idea.
20:13We will give to the firing party wooden bullets.
20:18How is this an improvement?
20:21Wooden bullets disintegrate ten foot from the muzzles of the rifles.
20:26I see.
20:27How close do they stand?
20:29Not as close as that.
20:31Providing it is not foggy.
20:34Tell me, what happens when they fire?
20:37You fall down.
20:39Do you really think it is safe?
20:41Well, we won't know for sure until you get up again.
20:50I've come to see the prisoner to say my last farewell.
20:54So many goodbyes.
20:55You are number six.
20:57This way.
21:00Yet another visitor for you.
21:04Maria.
21:05Oh, Rene.
21:06Five minutes only.
21:08Maria.
21:12Oh, little cabbage.
21:15Oh, Rene, my big pass nip.
21:19Oh, it is so comforting to hold you in my arms again.
21:22Rene, Rene.
21:23I have something for you.
21:24I have something for you too, but you go first.
21:28I will never let the firing squad shoot you.
21:32Take this ring.
21:34You think I can bribe them?
21:37Sir, there is a pin.
21:39Take it between those strong white teeth and crush it.
21:43And you will be gone.
21:44This is not the kind of escape I had in my...
21:48No, but you must use it with all espaces.
21:50I promise.
21:52There is only one more thing I can give you.
21:54Oh, Maria.
21:57No, there's no time for that.
22:00What is there time for, then?
22:01Here it is.
22:03An axon.
22:05Oh, it is still warm.
22:09Oh, it is still warm.
22:53I don't want to be difficult, but could you move them just a little more slowly, please?
22:59Did you get the dummy bullets?
23:01Yes.
23:01Here they are.
23:02They look exactly like the real bullets.
23:04Yes.
23:05I brought the real ones to show you.
23:07Morning, Colonel.
23:08Morning.
23:08Morning, Captain.
23:09Morning.
23:10A sad occasion.
23:11Yes, but the dog deserves it.
23:14Pig!
23:15Ah, the bullets.
23:20Hans.
23:21He's taken both boxes.
23:22What if he loads the real bullets into the rifles?
23:26Oh, dear.
23:27Do you think we should warn Rene?
23:29There's no point in worrying him.
23:32He has a lot on his mind.
23:37Sergeant, here are some bullets.
23:39Loads of rifles.
23:42Port!
23:43What?
23:49All prepared.
23:50Everything is going according to plan.
23:52Very nearly.
23:54You can't waste time.
23:55I have to leave.
23:57It is cold.
24:00Why have you brought me here?
24:04The angels are going to take my husband away.
24:08The last time it was believed.
24:18This is a very sad occasion for me, Rene.
24:20Yes, I feel the same way, Leften.
24:23Ah, you're French.
24:24You are so brave.
24:26Your mother-in-law has not shed one single tear.
24:30This, I believe.
24:31What about my wife?
24:33She is like a rock.
24:35She says she is going to sing the Marseillaise.
24:38Do you wish a blindfold?
24:39Ear-plugs would be better.
24:43May I shake your hand?
24:45Of course.
24:46You'll find it around the back.
24:53Can we get on with this, please?
24:56Oh, I nearly forgot.
25:05So they have something to aim at.
25:07You Germans, such sticklers for accuracy.
25:14Why?
25:24Now?
25:25No.
25:26I will give you the signals.
25:32Is that it?
25:34No.
25:35I am composing myself.
25:39Front rack.
25:40Neil!
25:43Present your rifles.
25:49Now.
25:51One, two, three, four.
26:00Ready?
26:23Then why have we stopped?
26:26It is over.
26:29Good.
26:31Let that be a lesson to you.
26:34The relatives may remove the body.
26:37Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!
26:39You may escort me to my car.
26:47Do you think he is all right?
26:49If he is, it will be drinks on the house.
26:53If not, we find another cafe.
27:03My poor, brave René.
27:10He's still alive. He's trying to speak.
27:15Dear René, are you in pain?
27:17Keep quiet. These may be his last breath words.
27:22Listen carefully.
27:24I shall say this only once.
27:29My bum is on a thistle.
27:35Too long, no?
27:35That's a good day.
27:35I am hungry.
27:35You're hungry.
27:35I am hungry.
27:36I'm hungry.
27:36You