- 2 months ago
In Season 10 Episode 1 of Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May embark on a thrilling road-trip across continental Europe to find the greatest driving road in the world. Along the way, Jeremy tests the radical Volkswagen Golf GTI W12 Concept, a 650 bhp beast that boasts outrageous speed but struggles with handling. Meanwhile, the team discovers the beauty and challenge of top driving roads — from Monaco to Italy, Liechtenstein and Switzerland — putting precision, performance and sheer pleasure to the test. In the studio, Dame Helen Mirren takes on the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car challenge. If you’re a car enthusiast looking for speed, scenery and classic Top Gear flair, this episode kicks off the season in unforgettable style.
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Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
00:00:23Now, thank you.
00:00:25Thank you very much.
00:00:26Now, in the current climate, I think it's very important to reassure you all that everything
00:00:32you see on this show is for real.
00:00:35Yes.
00:00:36Nothing on this show is faked in any way.
00:00:39Which makes it all the more amazing when you see what we've got lined up for you over
00:00:44the next ten weeks.
00:00:46Hold on to your spleen, everyone.
00:00:52No!
00:00:53No!
00:00:54No!
00:00:55No!
00:00:56Mayday!
00:00:57Unbelievable!
00:00:59You look like a gay cowboy, and you look like a gay terrorist.
00:01:05Oh!
00:01:06My eyes!
00:01:07Oh dear!
00:01:08He is the Stig's African cousin.
00:01:12Ah!
00:01:13That's not gone well!
00:01:14Ha ha!
00:01:15Ha ha!
00:01:16Hello!
00:01:17Hello!
00:01:18Hello!
00:01:19Hello!
00:01:20Hello!
00:01:21Hello!
00:01:22Hello!
00:01:23Hello!
00:01:24Hello!
00:01:25Hello!
00:01:26Hello!
00:01:27Hello!
00:01:28Hello!
00:01:29Hello!
00:01:30Hello!
00:01:31Hello!
00:01:32I am the road warrior.
00:01:47Woo!
00:01:54It's going to be good.
00:01:56Right, right.
00:01:59On with tonight.
00:02:01Yes, indeed.
00:02:03Now, every year, the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate in a field in Austria, and they talk about fuel injection and wear jumpers with GTI on them, and frankly, I'd rather blow torches my nipples off, but Volkswagen every year sends them a little present, a concept car of some kind, to say thank you for your loyalty.
00:02:22This year, though, disaster. Volkswagen forgot. Eight weeks to go, they had to build something, anything, to keep the fans happy.
00:02:31Luckily, Volkswagen owns lots of other car companies. Bentley, Egeti, Lamborghini, Skoda, Audi, and Seat. So they had a big bin to rummage around in for parts.
00:02:45What they did then, with the clock ticking, was take the rear axle and brakes from a Lamborghini Gallardo, the twin-turbocharged W12 engine from a Bentley Continental, and the rear subframe and sort of floor from an Audi R8.
00:03:01And then they put all these bits and pieces in the body of a Golf.
00:03:05And here it is.
00:03:11It's called the GTI W12, and unlike most concept cars, it actually works.
00:03:21Sort of.
00:03:22As you'd expect, with a car made so quickly, there are one or two issues. The paddles here on the steering wheel, for the gearbox, they don't work.
00:03:32These switches here, they don't work.
00:03:35Sat-nav does work, but thinks it's in Germany.
00:03:38And these heating and ventilation knobs here, they're not connected to anything, so I'm very hot.
00:03:46The 6.0-litre, 640-horsepower, 12-cylinder engine, though, that works just fine.
00:03:56As a result, this car will get from 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds.
00:04:01And it will keep on accelerating, all the way to 202.
00:04:10To contain all the power and the fury, the W12 is 6 inches wider and 3 inches lower than a normal Golf.
00:04:21The roof is made from carbon fibre.
00:04:24The tyres sit like smears of paint on the wheels, and the engine is where you'd expect to find the back seats.
00:04:32To cool it, there are massive intake vents in the sills.
00:04:36That's why the bottom of the car is swollen, like your granny's ankles.
00:04:40And they made all these changes in just eight weeks.
00:04:43However did they lose?
00:04:45The funny thing is that you sit here looking at a Golf dashboard and a Golf bonnet through a Golf windscreen,
00:04:52and you think, well, it's a Golf.
00:04:55But it so isn't!
00:05:00It's not a particularly savage car.
00:05:03It doesn't explode when you stamp on the accelerator.
00:05:06It's just this surge of power that takes you up to 5,500 rpm,
00:05:14and then the surge becomes a flood!
00:05:18I can't get away from it!
00:05:31It is an insane car, this.
00:05:33Opening up a Golf to find it has 640 horsepower is like opening up Gordon Brown's trousers
00:05:40and finding he's wearing stockings and suspenders.
00:05:43Mad.
00:05:45Unfortunately, there is a small problem.
00:05:50This car will not go round corners.
00:06:03The wheelbase is short, and it's rear-wheel drive, so you have to be extremely gentle.
00:06:10You have to treat all the controls like they're made of glass.
00:06:17Even if you're really gentle, you'll still, yes, yes.
00:06:25You'll still end up coming out of the corner backwards like that.
00:06:28Yes, I meant that.
00:06:34Okay, tame me understair.
00:06:36There's a lot of it.
00:06:36I've got it.
00:06:37No, I haven't.
00:06:41An hour later, I reckoned I was getting somewhere.
00:06:44Calm.
00:06:45Calm.
00:06:46Calm.
00:06:47Calm.
00:06:47Calm.
00:06:48Yes.
00:06:49That doesn't work either.
00:07:02I think the kindest thing I can say about the brakes and the suspension is they're not finished.
00:07:10Yes.
00:07:11You're such a spank.
00:07:16You're a spank.
00:07:17You're a spank.
00:07:18You're a spank.
00:07:18You're a spank.
00:07:19You're a spank.
00:07:20You're a spank.
00:07:21You're a spank everywhere.
00:07:22You were.
00:07:23I wasn't.
00:07:23You were.
00:07:24I wasn't.
00:07:24Let me just get one thing absolutely clear.
00:07:26This isn't actually going to go on sale, is it?
00:07:28No.
00:07:28Volkswagen sent it to us because they said, you know, if people like it, then we'd put it into production.
00:07:33They're not going to get any encouragement from me, to be honest.
00:07:36That is ghastly.
00:07:37My biggest problem with it is that I can't see the point of saying, I've got a supercar, and the great thing is, it looks like a golf.
00:07:44I mean, that's like saying, I'm married to a supermodel, and the great thing is, she looks like a traffic warden.
00:07:49It doesn't make any sense.
00:07:50Even so, we must now see how quickly it can crash on our track.
00:07:55And for that, we need our tame racing driver.
00:07:57Yes, some say that his scrotum has its own small gravity field.
00:08:02And that because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name.
00:08:10All we know is, he's called Cuddles.
00:08:14And he's off.
00:08:15Now, we know this car is frisky, but if anyone can tame it, this is the man.
00:08:19First corner, twitchy under braking, tyres howling in pain, back on the power, that is nicely done.
00:08:28No CD today, because predictably the stereo doesn't work.
00:08:32Okay, through Chicago, nursing it around there carefully.
00:08:36Another huge surge of power coming up to Hammerhead.
00:08:39Wiggling its hips under the brakes, he's chucked it in.
00:08:42It's biting back.
00:08:44Oh, he's having to fight it every inch of the way.
00:08:49Isn't it that?
00:08:50In a bank of that engine, it's as quiet as a startled deer.
00:08:53Here, it's like being chased by an imploding star.
00:08:56How about a scary?
00:08:59Winding it up, here he comes now through the tyres.
00:09:02Oh yeah, looking good-ish.
00:09:05Just two accidents waiting to happen now.
00:09:07Turns in, look at the oversteer.
00:09:09Cuddles is really having to wrestle it through there.
00:09:12Up to Gambon, he's taking it very gingerly, and I'm not surprised.
00:09:16And here we are, and rest the line.
00:09:19Yeah, got the time here.
00:09:24The time is 1.29.6.
00:09:29So, Top Gear top tip.
00:09:32If you want a slow car that looks like a Golf, get a Golf.
00:09:37That's interesting.
00:09:39The Stig didn't spin that car once on that lap.
00:09:42Anyway, it's time now for the news.
00:09:44You might notice we've got some new furniture and a new telly.
00:09:48Now, the problem is, you see, there was a fire at our storage depot.
00:09:52You might have seen it in the papers.
00:09:53And nearly all of our props got destroyed.
00:09:56Yeah, and the police are saying, as you can see here, that it was arson.
00:10:00Yeah, but, I mean, who'd do that?
00:10:02It's not like we've ever upset anyone.
00:10:04I know.
00:10:06Well, there was the vicar whose tree I rammed in the Toyota pickup truck.
00:10:09Yeah, that was it.
00:10:10And everyone in Wales.
00:10:11And everyone in Birmingham.
00:10:12And everyone in America.
00:10:14Yeah.
00:10:14And while we were making this series, actually, we managed to upset the Coast Guard,
00:10:18who said that we've ruined the English Channel.
00:10:21Yeah.
00:10:21Hang on a minute.
00:10:21So, what?
00:10:22You're not seriously suggesting that the British Coast Guard
00:10:25drove all the way up to Watford and set fire to our chairs, are you?
00:10:29No, I'm not.
00:10:30I know who did this.
00:10:32No.
00:10:33Fifth gear.
00:10:36Hang on, why?
00:10:38Can we just look at the evidence?
00:10:39Just last week, okay, it was in the papers, they've rolled a Bedford rascal van.
00:10:44There it is, okay?
00:10:45A year ago, if we look at a shot from Top Gear, we rolled a Bedford rascal van.
00:10:50Where did it be?
00:10:51They're now saying that one of their presenters has hurt his foot.
00:10:54That's not an accident.
00:10:55We have proper accidents on this show.
00:11:00Do you think they're a bit jealous?
00:11:01Yeah.
00:11:02So, please, really, Tiff, Vicky, stop burning our things.
00:11:06Yes.
00:11:07Can I just say, the seats we used to have were from a Vauxhall senator.
00:11:11So, if anybody out there is watching, they have a Vauxhall senator.
00:11:13Well, hang on, you're going to say if you've got a Vauxhall senator and you don't need the seats.
00:11:18Exactly.
00:11:19Write to us, it's, I've got a Vauxhall senator and I drive everywhere standing up.
00:11:23Yes, yes, yes.
00:11:24Dear BBC Television London, wherever we are, Wood Lane.
00:11:27It's worth a shot.
00:11:27I love the way that James has gone into that chair as though he belongs.
00:11:31Oh, really?
00:11:31Did you notice that?
00:11:32Did you notice that?
00:11:33It actually looks like you get one of these with one of these.
00:11:39They just ship them together as a pair.
00:11:41It's exactly the same as my furniture at home.
00:11:43I'm very familiar with it.
00:11:45Shall we move on?
00:11:46Yes, and there's lots of supercars around at the moment, new stuff, so I thought we could maybe take a quick look at some of those.
00:11:51Here's that Roush Ford GT, and they've turned the supercharger up on that, so it's now, what, 610 instead of 550 horsepower.
00:11:59It's going to be £141,000.
00:12:01They're only making 10 of those.
00:12:02That's great.
00:12:03That's as fast as it'll ever go.
00:12:04That's it'll ever go in that picture.
00:12:06Yep.
00:12:06And there's this, the Lamborghini Reventon.
00:12:09They're only making 20 of these.
00:12:10It is costly.
00:12:12£800,000 a piece.
00:12:14£800,000.
00:12:15Yes, but look at it.
00:12:15It looks like a stealth fighter.
00:12:17It's all angles.
00:12:17It's beautiful.
00:12:18£800,000?
00:12:20Yeah.
00:12:20This is the Bentley Brooklands.
00:12:22It's a two-door, um, um, what's the other one called that they make?
00:12:28Continental Azul.
00:12:29No, no.
00:12:30We have been off for a while.
00:12:31Let me go.
00:12:32The Unarche.
00:12:33It's a two-door version of that.
00:12:35530 horsepower, £230,000.
00:12:36Proper Bentley, though.
00:12:38Old school.
00:12:38Proper comfortable.
00:12:39Good for your piles.
00:12:40I have to say, as well, it's not all the supercars.
00:12:44There are some affordable cars out, as well.
00:12:46Uh, there's one.
00:12:48Okay, now.
00:12:49Not for that one.
00:12:52Another quick look at a new car.
00:12:53Subaru Impreza STI Hyper Nutter rally thing coming along.
00:12:57Haven't released many facts about it yet.
00:12:59Probably going to be 300 horsepower, there or thereabouts, turbocharged engine.
00:13:02But we're pretty confident it's not going to be a looker.
00:13:07No.
00:13:08No, because, well, here's the photograph they sent out, wasn't it?
00:13:14Oh, no, that really is.
00:13:16Honestly, that is.
00:13:17That's the photograph they sent out.
00:13:19We haven't faked that, have you?
00:13:20No, we have not faked that.
00:13:21That's what they sent us.
00:13:22So, can you send us a picture of a new car?
00:13:24Um, yes.
00:13:25Here it is.
00:13:26Doesn't suggest confidence, does it?
00:13:28No.
00:13:28It's a pig, we know it.
00:13:29Oh, now, listen.
00:13:30You know in the olden days when Britain was a sensible country, if you had a bump on the
00:13:33motorway, put your car on the hard shoulder, exchanged names and addresses of the other
00:13:37guys, and then you went on your way?
00:13:39Not anymore.
00:13:39Have you noticed this now?
00:13:40If you have a bump on the motorway now, you know those policemen who aren't really policemen?
00:13:45They come to the scene of the crash and close the motorway.
00:13:48Have you noticed?
00:13:49I was coming down the M40 on Wednesday.
00:13:51Tidy crash.
00:13:52A couple of broken indicator lenses.
00:13:54They got there and they had shut all three lanes.
00:13:57Huge queue.
00:13:58People missing meetings.
00:13:59People missing flights.
00:14:00Just so that they could run around picking things up.
00:14:02It's just, I've never seen.
00:14:04And I've got, do you know what?
00:14:05I've gone into the office and thought, I'll just find out how many other motorways have
00:14:08been closed today.
00:14:08Do you know what it was?
00:14:09I've got a list here.
00:14:10Just on that one day, the M40, the M1, the M25, the M26, the M66 and the M42, all shut
00:14:19by these Wombles.
00:14:23We can manage without you, you day-glow.
00:14:28Aw, that's...
00:14:29Wombles.
00:14:30That's touching, ladies and gentlemen.
00:14:31His first rant of the series.
00:14:38You've got more news.
00:14:39I have got more news.
00:14:40Bentley have recalled some cars.
00:14:42There's a problem with their wheel nuts, apparently.
00:14:45They might not be fastened properly.
00:14:48Bentley say it's not a big deal.
00:14:52It's only one batch of nuts affected.
00:14:55It only affected, I've got it written down here, it only concerns the Arnage R and the
00:14:59Arnage T and the Arnage RL and the Azure.
00:15:02So, basically, pretty much all of the cars they make.
00:15:06And it's only those built between February 05 and August last year.
00:15:11So, that's a year and a half.
00:15:13No, my favourite is the government, OK?
00:15:14Who actually run this recall.
00:15:16They say here, if the bolts do become loose, this would in all probability be noticeable to
00:15:22the driver.
00:15:23Yes, it would.
00:15:23Yes, there would be a considerable mechanical knocking noise.
00:15:28Oh, when the wheel comes...
00:15:29No, sparks.
00:15:30And sky, road, sky, road, ditch.
00:15:34Dear, I think there might be something wrong with the colour.
00:15:38I think they were jealous of Rolls-Royce, because they used to say the loudest thing in a Rolls-Royce
00:15:42at 100 miles an hour is the clock.
00:15:43Yeah.
00:15:44So, now Bentley can say the loudest thing in a Bentley at 100 miles an hour is the front
00:15:48nearside wheel falling off.
00:15:49New highway codes come along, and it says now that they advise you don't smoke while
00:15:57behind the wheel.
00:15:59Why?
00:16:00I mean, us three all smoke, OK?
00:16:02So, there's to be proud of.
00:16:03The fact is that we all do, and we don't crash.
00:16:05Well, two of us don't, so...
00:16:07Actually, I've given up smoking as well, next.
00:16:10Well, there you are.
00:16:10You can't do two things at once.
00:16:12I can multitask.
00:16:15You can multitask?
00:16:16Yeah.
00:16:16Yeah, I've seen you putting your make-up on.
00:16:18Yeah.
00:16:18And driving.
00:16:19And driving.
00:16:20I've seen you multitask and driving.
00:16:22No, you can't talk about that on the television.
00:16:26That isn't in the highway code.
00:16:29Yeah, well, so the people who wrote the highway code thing, you know, the ones who say you
00:16:33feel tired, pull off at the motorway services, or whatever.
00:16:37So, you weren't allowed to.
00:16:39Because you can't pull off the motorway services and pull off.
00:16:42So, they say that, but on the other hand, they say you can't.
00:16:44Just because they can't drive and smoke at the same time doesn't mean the rest of us are
00:16:58all smart.
00:16:58No, it's ridiculous.
00:16:59No, it is a good point.
00:17:01Although, it gives me an idea, because we've got our track here.
00:17:03Why don't we have, like, track days, but instead of getting caught up on how fast you go around
00:17:08and all of that, we just let people smoke while they're driving.
00:17:10Or put their make-up on.
00:17:11Or use their mobile phone.
00:17:12All of the stuff you want to do.
00:17:13Or eat a pie.
00:17:14Yeah.
00:17:15And speed.
00:17:16That's fantastic.
00:17:17Now, £100, you come, you're late for work, you think, oh, I'm going to make a call.
00:17:21I'll go around the top of their test track.
00:17:22You can make the call, have a pie.
00:17:24Give a slice of freedom.
00:17:25And you don't have to pull off in the services.
00:17:27No, exactly.
00:17:30And the £100 that you pay us, we can spend on new seats.
00:17:34And that's the end of the news.
00:17:35Right, it's time for a question.
00:17:38And the question is, where is the best driving road in the world?
00:17:43Something that has everything.
00:17:44The challenging bends, no traffic, the great views, the long, fast straights, the lot.
00:17:50Yeah.
00:17:50Now, it's unlikely to be here, because everyone does five.
00:17:54It's not going to be here, because everyone's on drugs.
00:17:57That's all just full of ox.
00:17:58Al Gore says that's gone, so it's not going to be down there.
00:18:01That's full of spiders.
00:18:02Signposts are all full of gibberish.
00:18:03They're all communists.
00:18:05Can't go there, because the Americans will shoot you.
00:18:07No, no, thank you.
00:18:09All right, obviously, we did discuss this at length.
00:18:12And we eventually decided the best driving road in the world
00:18:15was probably somewhere in continental Europe,
00:18:18specifically around here, the Alps.
00:18:22Then we decided that the best thing for us to do
00:18:24was to go there and see if we could find it.
00:18:26This is where our quest began,
00:18:36in the mountains above Monte Carlo, in the south of France.
00:18:40Now, obviously, you can't go looking for the best driving road in the world
00:18:47in a Japanese hatchback or a people carrier.
00:18:49So what we thought we'd do is bring along a selection of the new generation of lightened supercars.
00:18:55I've chosen this, the new Porsche 911 GT3 RS.
00:19:03In essence, the GT3 is a lighter, tauter version of the normal 911.
00:19:11And this, the RS, is a lighter, tauter version of the GT3.
00:19:21So this is, in fact, the ultimate version of the ultimate version of the ultimate version
00:19:28of the world's ultimate supercar.
00:19:30No, it isn't.
00:19:32The ultimate F-plan supercar is what I've brought along.
00:19:37It's a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera.
00:19:40And it's like a normal Gallardo, but it's 100 kilograms lighter
00:19:44and the V10 engine is a bit more powerful.
00:19:48That is quite a recipe.
00:19:52Well, yeah, I suppose it is, if you're a fat, middle-aged bloke
00:19:55who wants to bore everybody about the track days you've been on.
00:19:57As you'd expect, I've done it properly and got myself a proper gentleman's racer,
00:20:03the Aston Martin V8 Vantage N24.
00:20:13James, that is just a racing car.
00:20:17It hasn't got anything in it at all.
00:20:18It doesn't even have a passenger seat.
00:20:20This isn't just some road car Porsche with a bit of scaffolding in the back.
00:20:23It's 250 kilograms lighter than the standard car.
00:20:26That's the weight of a big motorcycle.
00:20:29So you've got no radio?
00:20:31No.
00:20:31You've got no carpet?
00:20:32No.
00:20:33No air conditioning?
00:20:34No.
00:20:34James, you have got a car with no air conditioning
00:20:37in the south of France in the middle of summer.
00:20:39It's better than that.
00:20:41His windows don't open.
00:20:42Yes, they do, actually.
00:20:43That's a cat flap!
00:20:44You've both done exactly the same thing.
00:20:46You have got standard road cars
00:20:48dressed with the tinsel of fake high performance.
00:20:51It's got air conditioning.
00:20:51Yes, it has got air conditioning.
00:20:53Have you got air conditioning?
00:20:54Oh, yeah.
00:20:54Yes.
00:20:55Shall we go?
00:20:55That is so...
00:20:57Because it's getting a bit muggy.
00:20:58Right.
00:21:03Master switch on.
00:21:08Ignition switch on.
00:21:12Faffing around.
00:21:14Fuel reset.
00:21:18Pumps are reset.
00:21:21Van is off.
00:21:22Neutral engine stop.
00:21:28Yes, excellent. Strapping in.
00:21:31That one must go in there.
00:21:36Oh, God.
00:21:47I've done three minutes and I already adore
00:21:51on this car.
00:21:54This is so much fun.
00:21:59Eventually, James caught us up,
00:22:02so we turned off the motorway
00:22:04and began our search for driving heaven.
00:22:07It didn't take long.
00:22:13We found something called the Col de Torini,
00:22:16a ribbon of tarmac that doesn't really go anywhere,
00:22:19so it was quiet.
00:22:22Till we arrived.
00:22:31This looked like the ideal place
00:22:33to unleash our cars a little bit.
00:22:35Lamborghini have used their mouse with this car.
00:22:36They haven't just lobbed away all the things that you might need.
00:22:48It's got a thinner prop shaft, more delicate drive shafts,
00:22:51the engine covers made of plastic rather than glass.
00:22:57Even the wheel nuts are made from titanium.
00:23:00All of these little things add up to 100 kilograms.
00:23:07They were going to ditch the four-wheel drive system to save another 50 kilograms,
00:23:13but today, here now, on this road, I'm glad they didn't.
00:23:18I was loving the Lamborghini, but if anything, Richard was loving his Beetle even more.
00:23:28There is something fantastically purposeful about this car.
00:23:37They haven't been flashed and messed about for trying to make it look pretty.
00:23:41They've just taken off what they can take off, made lighter what they can make lighter, and away you go.
00:23:47There you go.
00:23:53This thing revs higher than the standard car as well, so you can just keep on going.
00:24:09They're so smug about that.
00:24:12Fancy boy versions of lightweight cars.
00:24:14When you drive a really, really strips-out car like this,
00:24:18you're put back in touch with what driving is about.
00:24:22You can hear all the machinery working, and you can feel what it does.
00:24:26And I was glad I didn't have air conditioning.
00:24:30I don't know if you've ever picked up an air conditioning pump,
00:24:32but it is very, very heavy,
00:24:34and it saps some of the power of the engine.
00:24:39I suppose it would be a good idea at this juncture
00:24:41to explain why a lightweight car is a good idea.
00:24:44You see, the problem is, modern cars are very heavy.
00:24:47They've got all sorts of safety equipment on them, airbags and so on.
00:24:50We demand luxuries like satellite navigation.
00:24:53And all this weight, it spoils the acceleration, ruins the fuel consumption, upsets the handling.
00:24:58And getting rid of it makes everything better.
00:25:13Oh wow, look at this. Now look at this bit.
00:25:16This road is used as a special stage of the Monte Carlo Rally.
00:25:28It's busy, it's twisty, it's got low walls that you can go over,
00:25:33huge drops that can kill you with ease.
00:25:35Meanwhile, in the Aston.
00:25:48I didn't care about James, though.
00:25:50I just cared about this amazing road.
00:25:54There's something about stringing together a load of hairpins.
00:25:58What a road, I mean, what a road on the stairs.
00:26:10This metallic rattle, I keep belting my elbow on something really, really hard.
00:26:16Oh, shut up!
00:26:29Richard and I were now so far ahead of Captain Slow, we decided to pull over.
00:26:35How's your beefle?
00:26:36Fine, thank you.
00:26:37How's your Audi?
00:26:38Very funny, very funny in there, yeah.
00:26:41The harder I drove to catch up, the more unbearable the noise became.
00:26:46Hot.
00:26:48No comfortable.
00:26:50None buttocks.
00:26:51Crushed testicles.
00:26:53Sweater shouts, sweaty pants.
00:26:55Your Porsche, okay, is £15,000 more than a normal GT3,
00:27:05because it's got fewer parts.
00:27:06It's lighter.
00:27:07So it stands to reason, the fewer parts you have on your Porsche,
00:27:09the more expensive it becomes.
00:27:11Until you get to the point where somebody with no Porsche at all
00:27:13walks past a show and they're going to get charged a million pounds.
00:27:15Oh, no, look, hang on, on price, how much is yours?
00:27:19£150,000.
00:27:20How much more is it than an ordinary one?
00:27:23That's a pretty flat.
00:27:24How much more is it?
00:27:25Come on, how much more is it than an ordinary one?
00:27:27£26,000.
00:27:28£26,000.
00:27:29Well, there you go.
00:27:30For what?
00:27:32I'm now beginning to go slightly faint as a result of light dehydration.
00:27:38My eardrums are bleeding and my pelvis has been turned to dust.
00:27:45He's going to kill me.
00:27:46Whoosh.
00:27:47Here he comes.
00:27:49Finally.
00:27:51Oh, my testicles.
00:28:00That is unbelievably good.
00:28:02Oh, yeah.
00:28:03Right, what do we think about that road?
00:28:05You don't want to talk about your car then, James?
00:28:06About your car.
00:28:07Well, no, I thought we were here to find a good road.
00:28:09You don't like your car, do you?
00:28:10No, the car's excellent.
00:28:11You know you've made a mistake, don't you?
00:28:12No, it's fantastic.
00:28:13Well, I think that road's a benchmark.
00:28:17It's a good starting point.
00:28:18Now we should go and find another better one.
00:28:20Yeah, okay, we've got stuff to compare it to you.
00:28:21Italy.
00:28:22What?
00:28:23No, Switzerland.
00:28:24What about Austria?
00:28:25He just wants to talk about the war.
00:28:27Oh, you'll get old Nordland and unbearable, don't you?
00:28:29No, no, no, no, no.
00:28:30I think Austria is underrated.
00:28:32Got smooth roads.
00:28:33No, we've never been there together.
00:28:34It's the smooth roads!
00:28:35It is the smooth roads.
00:28:36It's because his suspension's so hard.
00:28:38Italy's got really bumpy roads.
00:28:40Italy'd be quite entertaining.
00:28:41We should probably look at Italy.
00:28:55A little beep there telling me I've used a tank of fuel already.
00:29:02That's not good!
00:29:06I've got to do something to get the seat higher up.
00:29:08This is ridiculous.
00:29:09I'm like an 85-year-old man.
00:29:17I was out of juice.
00:29:19And although the camera crew had more, I couldn't get it from their cans into the car.
00:29:31Do you know what's happened here?
00:29:33Audi, who of course own Lamborghini, they've built all of the car and then just let the Italians,
00:29:39to keep them happy, do one thing.
00:29:49Hi.
00:29:50Oh dear.
00:29:51Nice view here.
00:29:52Just thought you'd stop and admire it.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:55I might need your help.
00:29:56Why?
00:29:58There might be a problem.
00:29:59What?
00:30:00Fuel filler cap won't open.
00:30:03Never mind.
00:30:04See you in Italy.
00:30:05No.
00:30:08I broke out the instruction manual, which was all in Italian.
00:30:12We are useless Italians and we haven't built this properly.
00:30:33Yes!
00:30:36Once we'd regrouped, we joined the motorway along the Italian Riviera.
00:30:40By no means was this a great driving road, but there were some consolations.
00:31:01It's a symphony, is what it is.
00:31:04The big V10 in this, the flat six of Hammond's Porsche and that brutal V8 in the racing car.
00:31:13The trouble with tunnel blasting in a car with atomic power like the Lambo is that the fuel economy does drop a bit.
00:31:19I was doing nine miles to the gallon.
00:31:23Oh dear.
00:31:24Is this your second filler?
00:31:26Yes.
00:31:27Mine's got a 110 litre endurance fuel tank.
00:31:29If you two need to get in my slipstream when we're going up the hills, because I know you don't have much power.
00:31:33At no point have I lacked in power to keep up with this thing.
00:31:35At no point.
00:31:36At no point.
00:31:37How many horsepower?
00:31:38415.
00:31:39522.
00:31:40It's how it uses them.
00:31:41It's how it deploys them.
00:31:42I'm with that.
00:31:43They're constantly there.
00:31:44Top speed?
00:31:45175.
00:31:46Top speed?
00:31:47185-ish.
00:31:48195.
00:31:49Yeah.
00:31:50This is probably quite a good car, I'll grant you that, but it's half-hearted and limp-wristed.
00:31:54It's not a real luxury supercar and neither is it a proper lightweight.
00:31:58James, a little compromise might be useful in your car.
00:32:01Be honest.
00:32:02So?
00:32:03I love it.
00:32:04In fact, he loved it so much he bought it a present.
00:32:07What's that?
00:32:08I've bought a cushion.
00:32:09Are you admitting that it's uncomfortable?
00:32:10No, no.
00:32:11Yeah.
00:32:12No.
00:32:13No, no, no.
00:32:14Hold on.
00:32:15He's admitting his car is uncomfortable.
00:32:16No, it's been tailored.
00:32:17That's interior design.
00:32:18It's a scatter cushion to look pretty.
00:32:24It's so much nicer.
00:32:27My poor buttocks.
00:32:29Yeah, but would the weight of that cushion be a problem if Hammond and I suddenly decided
00:32:34that we were eight years old?
00:32:36Paddle on the right.
00:32:47The Lambo and the Porsche are very, very close.
00:32:51The Aston Martin seems to be very, very slow.
00:32:54Didn't expect that in the racing car.
00:32:58We were heading for the Italian lakes but it was time to stop for the night.
00:33:02And since I'd insisted on coming to Italy, I'd booked the hotel.
00:33:09This doesn't look like a very good town.
00:33:11They're going to shout at me.
00:33:21Tell me we've stopped here to steal some wheels or something.
00:33:27It could be worse.
00:33:28How could it be?
00:33:29How could this be worse if that's the motorway?
00:33:33Oh, Jeremy, I always wanted to stay in the Italian lakes.
00:33:36We're staying here tonight?
00:33:37Well, yes.
00:33:38So we're carrying on by bicycle tomorrow, aren't we?
00:33:40Because these will have been stolen, obviously.
00:33:42Well, they did say they'd got a secure car park that nobody could break into.
00:33:46And I can see exactly what they mean.
00:33:48There's absolutely no way that anybody could possibly get into this car park in any way, shape or form.
00:33:55It's actually very simple.
00:33:56What are you thinking?
00:33:57Do you know my car doesn't have a key or a lock?
00:34:00Did they save weight by not fitting locks to it?
00:34:02That hotel had no bar, no restaurant, no air conditioning in the rooms.
00:34:21No.
00:34:22It was like being in his car.
00:34:23Which is why we left the crew behind and us three all went nearer to the lakes.
00:34:29Find another hotel.
00:34:30And the lakes are to the north.
00:34:32Yes.
00:34:33And which way did you take us?
00:34:34North.
00:34:35East.
00:34:36Yes.
00:34:37You made us drive 200 kilometres in the wrong direction.
00:34:39I did that.
00:34:40I did do that.
00:34:41But we found a hotel in the end and all was well.
00:34:43You ruined our holiday.
00:34:45I did ruin your holiday and I'm very sorry about that.
00:34:47But we must now move on because it's time to meet our guest.
00:34:50Now the star in the reasonably priced car tonight once said that she and her husband set their alarm clock an hour early every morning so they had a chance to make love before going to work.
00:34:59Much like James May although of course he lives alone.
00:35:02Ladies and gentlemen star of everything that matters Dame Helen Mirren.
00:35:10Thank you so much.
00:35:11I can rest now.
00:35:12Have a seat.
00:35:13I can't tell you how excited I am to have you here.
00:35:30Now I really, I really genuinely mean that.
00:35:32I know everybody talks to you about the Queen obviously.
00:35:35Prime suspect as well.
00:35:37But you were in The Long Good Friday.
00:35:39Yeah I was.
00:35:40Now this to me, I don't know if anybody would agree with this, is just the greatest film of all time.
00:35:44Well you know, three quarters of them have never heard of The Long Good Friday.
00:35:46Have you never heard of The Long Good Friday?
00:35:47Have you never heard of The Long Good Friday?
00:35:48They're far too young.
00:35:49Yes.
00:35:50This audience you see.
00:35:51Yeah.
00:35:52Well educated.
00:35:53Well educated.
00:35:54They have heard this.
00:35:55Now do you live in LA?
00:35:56I've been trying to clear this up now.
00:35:58No I live in, I live in Wapping actually.
00:36:00You live in Wapping?
00:36:01Really?
00:36:02You've got a house in Los Angeles.
00:36:03But my husband's American so we obviously we spend a lot of time there.
00:36:05Is it normal over there?
00:36:06It's a culture, you know.
00:36:07Is it what they're-
00:36:09Normal in Los Angeles?
00:36:10No it's weird.
00:36:11It's LA.
00:36:12I would have thought you'd love it because people live in their cars and they do everything
00:36:16in their cars.
00:36:17Now your autobiography, I've actually read it unlike-
00:36:24No, really.
00:36:25Yeah I have.
00:36:26Well I've got one chapter where I went a bit white where you say that when you were living
00:36:29in Parsons Green.
00:36:30Yes I did.
00:36:31And I used to hear it going over.
00:36:32South West London.
00:36:33You, what was it, you became disillusioned with British society because of all the young
00:36:38hoo-rays living round there throwing bread rolls.
00:36:40Yes.
00:36:41I don't see.
00:36:42I did live in Parsons Green and I made-
00:36:45You didn't.
00:36:46I did.
00:36:47And did you throw food?
00:36:48Yes.
00:36:49I used to order it for its aerodynamic efficiency.
00:36:52You were one of those ghastly, ghastly guys.
00:36:55Oh my god that drove me out of England.
00:36:58Now didn't you also say somewhere this the other day that I was reading that I remind you
00:37:03of Paris Hilton.
00:37:04Yes.
00:37:05I said you were like Paris Hilton.
00:37:06Yes I did.
00:37:07So I look in the mirror every morning and go, I'm Paris?
00:37:10Oh no I'm not.
00:37:11No but the thing is, Jeremy, you are uber male, you know, and Paris is uber female.
00:37:16And I think that you're both, you're the two sides of the same coin actually.
00:37:20Well I don't put pictures of myself naked on the internet.
00:37:22That's one thing I don't know.
00:37:23Maybe I'll give it a whirl.
00:37:24You know, well actually neither did she to her credit if someone else did it.
00:37:29Here's a tip Paris if you're watching, have sex without a camera.
00:37:35Now anyway let's move on to motoring if we may.
00:37:38I don't think we're going to agree on much here actually because you're not really a big
00:37:42car fan.
00:37:43No, my first car was a disaster.
00:37:45It was an MG Midget, you know, white things.
00:37:47Yeah.
00:37:48My brother, my brother sold it to me.
00:37:51The engine blew up within two days.
00:37:53Did you have a Golf GTI though?
00:37:56Yes, I did.
00:37:57I did.
00:37:58That came to a sticky end, my poor old Golf GTI.
00:38:01Why?
00:38:02What happened to it?
00:38:03Well I was doing theatre in, at the old, no the Young Vic, excuse me, in Waterloo.
00:38:09And I just cleared out my closet and I had all this stuff to take to the charity shop.
00:38:15And then I thought well, you know, there were no charity shops, I didn't have the time.
00:38:19And I knew that everyone said keep your car locked around here because things get nicked out of the car.
00:38:25So I thought perfect, I'll leave my stuff in the car.
00:38:28I'll leave the car open and it'll all get nicked.
00:38:31Well instead of the stuff getting nicked, my car got torched.
00:38:35No.
00:38:36Yeah, I came out, it was like this, just Hulk.
00:38:39So what have you got now?
00:38:40I don't have a car now, actually.
00:38:42I've just remembered, haven't you got an Oyster card?
00:38:45Yes I do, yep, yep.
00:38:46What is one?
00:38:48It's a brilliant thing, it's this little thing.
00:38:50And when you go on public transport, which are like buses and tubes and trains,
00:38:57you have this little card and you swipe it and boom, you're on.
00:39:00Why wouldn't you go in a car though?
00:39:02And there's a chauffeur driving the bus, you know, in a uniform.
00:39:05And the tramps as he makes me vomiting on you.
00:39:07And they're nice people.
00:39:08Can we just talk about supercars briefly if I may?
00:39:12What's a supercar?
00:39:13Ferraris, Lamborghinis, where are you on those?
00:39:17What do you think of a, you know, a mid-aged chap in a Lambo?
00:39:21Well, I think, well, I just think most guys who drive the, when I see them, I go, dickhead, you know.
00:39:31I mean.
00:39:32Oh.
00:39:33Oh.
00:39:34Oh.
00:39:35Oh.
00:39:36That's so sad.
00:39:37How did you say pillock?
00:39:38That's so sad, because Richard Hammond's got one.
00:39:43Oh, he has.
00:39:44Has he?
00:39:45Oh no.
00:39:46He has.
00:39:47He's not a pillock.
00:39:48He's a nice guy.
00:39:49So I'm sorry Richard.
00:39:50Is he?
00:39:51Yes.
00:39:52I thought he was a pillock.
00:39:53So, okay, the lap obviously.
00:39:55Was it fun?
00:39:56Well, I don't know, fun is the right word.
00:39:59It was terrifying.
00:40:01It was nerve-wracking.
00:40:02It was adrenaline pumping.
00:40:04My hands were shaking like this at the end.
00:40:07It was sweat-making.
00:40:09It was, ah, it was fabulous.
00:40:11You did like it.
00:40:12It was fabulous.
00:40:13Oh, that's what I was thinking.
00:40:14It was fabulous.
00:40:15Well, should we have a look at it?
00:40:18Yeah.
00:40:19Right.
00:40:20Sorry about the television, but here we go.
00:40:22It's like being in the sixties.
00:40:24That's an aggressive start.
00:40:27Later.
00:40:29Harder.
00:40:30Longer.
00:40:31Later.
00:40:32Harder.
00:40:33Are you doing the shipping forecasting there?
00:40:36Douglas.
00:40:37Dogger.
00:40:38Hard.
00:40:39Slow.
00:40:40Later.
00:40:41Later.
00:40:42Harder.
00:40:43Farrow.
00:40:44What is that?
00:40:45Is that what the sting told you to do?
00:40:46He did.
00:40:47Did he tell you to do that?
00:40:48Slow up.
00:40:49Harder.
00:40:50Slow into the corners.
00:40:52And then fast out.
00:40:53So it's slow.
00:40:54Now go.
00:40:55Go.
00:40:56Take it low, you idiot.
00:40:57My language is actually a lot bluer than that.
00:41:02Oh, yes.
00:41:03Here we go.
00:41:04Now we're coming up to the foot.
00:41:06It's a silly-looking little car.
00:41:07Did you like it?
00:41:09No.
00:41:10No, it's awful, isn't it?
00:41:11Oh, yes.
00:41:13I like that bit, Beth.
00:41:14I like cutting the corner there.
00:41:15Now we're really picking up speed.
00:41:16That's the wrong gear.
00:41:17Oh, is that fourth?
00:41:18Can you do that?
00:41:19It was third.
00:41:20It was going...
00:41:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:41:22Plus, he's really picking up speed now.
00:41:23This is Michael Gambon's corner, where we nearly lost him.
00:41:24Oh, yeah.
00:41:25And round there.
00:41:26And there we are, ladies and gentlemen, across the line.
00:41:28Woohoo.
00:41:29So, miraculously undamaged in the fire is our board.
00:41:30You had a fire?
00:41:31Channel 5.
00:41:32Set fire to everything.
00:41:33Oh, no.
00:41:34No.
00:41:35No.
00:41:36No.
00:41:37No.
00:41:38No.
00:41:39No.
00:41:40No.
00:41:41No.
00:41:42No.
00:41:43No.
00:41:44No.
00:41:45No.
00:41:46No.
00:41:47No.
00:41:48No.
00:41:49No.
00:41:50No.
00:41:51No.
00:41:52No.
00:41:53No.
00:41:54No.
00:41:55No.
00:41:56No.
00:41:57No.
00:41:58No.
00:41:59Honestly, they did.
00:42:00That's why we're in rubbish furniture and I apologise.
00:42:02But anyway, this survived, and where do you think you've come there?
00:42:06If this is the thespian zone...
00:42:08Yes.
00:42:09Well, am I in the thespian zone?
00:42:11Yes.
00:42:12Ray Winston.
00:42:13Kristin Scott Thomas.
00:42:14Yes.
00:42:15Rick Wakeman is not a the...
00:42:16Yes.
00:42:17He is, actually.
00:42:18And then Brian Cox and Jimmy Carr, who was a comedian?
00:42:19I have no idea.
00:42:20Ready?
00:42:21Yes.
00:42:22One...
00:42:23Yes.
00:42:2450...
00:42:25Aw.
00:42:26No!
00:42:272.8
00:42:29Which puts you
00:42:30So, how many Oscars have you won?
00:42:43One, isn't it?
00:42:44One Oscar, yes
00:42:44Emmys?
00:42:45Four
00:42:45Golden Globes?
00:42:47Three
00:42:47And now it turns out you're faster
00:42:50Round on
00:42:50Ladies and gentlemen
00:42:53What a triumph
00:42:53Thank you
00:42:57Right
00:43:00Now
00:43:02Now it is time
00:43:04It is time to do
00:43:07The Cool Wall
00:43:07Yeah
00:43:08Oh yeah
00:43:10Yeah
00:43:13Unfortunately
00:43:15Unfortunately
00:43:16The Cool Wall was
00:43:17One of the major casualties
00:43:19In our fire
00:43:21But we will persevere
00:43:23Yes we will
00:43:24And we're gonna kick off with this
00:43:26Yes
00:43:27It's
00:43:28Is it a golf?
00:43:31No that's more an alpha
00:43:32I don't know that headlamp
00:43:34I don't think that's an alpha
00:43:35No I don't know
00:43:36What do you think that is?
00:43:39It's an Audi
00:43:40It's a figure
00:43:41How empty is your life
00:43:44That you are able to determine
00:43:47That this is an Audi
00:43:48From that photograph
00:43:49This isn't working
00:43:51No just
00:43:51This is not working
00:43:52Look I mean even if we could put them up
00:43:54It won't be much of a
00:43:55This just it's ruined
00:43:56The Cool Wall's ruined
00:43:57Sorry
00:43:58When Vicki Butler-Henderson
00:44:00Burned the Cool Wall
00:44:02Yeah
00:44:03She thought she'd flummoxed us
00:44:05But it doesn't matter
00:44:06Because we're gonna move on
00:44:07To something else that isn't
00:44:08But James May hasn't been burned
00:44:10Who's wrong for that?
00:44:11No actually I'm fine
00:44:14So let's get back to tonight's big film
00:44:17In which the three of us are attempting
00:44:19To find the best driving road in the world
00:44:21In these three lightweight supercars
00:44:24Yes now we can't agree which one is the best
00:44:27Only that his Aston is just awful
00:44:30To be honest we couldn't even agree
00:44:32On where we wanted to go
00:44:33I wanted to go to Austria
00:44:34He wanted to go to Switzerland
00:44:35But when we left the action
00:44:37We were driving hundreds and hundreds
00:44:39Of boring motorway miles
00:44:42Because Jeremy said
00:44:43That the Italian lakes would be brilliant
00:44:46Look at it
00:44:51Lake Maggiore is just fantastic
00:44:54And as for the roads
00:44:56I sat for a day on a motorway
00:45:06In an oven
00:45:06Essentially for this
00:45:08This road is rubbish
00:45:10The traffic coupled with the hotel fiasco
00:45:14The night before
00:45:15Had put the chaps in quite a bad mood
00:45:17We come all the way here
00:45:19In these cars
00:45:20And you f*** it up
00:45:21Because you're a f***ing feeble-minded
00:45:23F***
00:45:24Are you?
00:45:25Utter, utter
00:45:26F***ing
00:45:27F***ing useless
00:45:28Look at the colour of that water
00:45:30That's beautiful
00:45:32Why did you think this would be good
00:45:33You big daft f***ing
00:45:35Trust me
00:45:36Italy is the place
00:45:37Shut up
00:45:38It's the home of
00:45:38The fast car
00:45:40Why did we bother?
00:45:41We should have just come here
00:45:42On a f***ing bus
00:45:43There is a speed bump on the road
00:45:47Oh, that's the final straw
00:45:49Oh, I'm exploring the limits of grip here
00:45:53Essentially he's brought us up somebody's driveway
00:45:58Realising that I'd mucked things up a bit
00:46:03I'd suggest we try the other side of the lake
00:46:06Which meant catching a ferry
00:46:07And what are we experiencing next?
00:46:17The world's greatest driving forest
00:46:19Well, where do you want to go?
00:46:21Switzerland
00:46:21Because it was built...
00:46:22Switzerland is rubbish
00:46:24Do you want to wash your car when you get to Switzerland?
00:46:26Because you can't by law
00:46:28On a low air suspension?
00:46:29If they're fainted already
00:46:30Oh, you can't change it
00:46:31Do you want to up the brake horsepower
00:46:32No, I'll leave it at this
00:46:33Not allowed
00:46:34Tiny, tiny bit of speeding
00:46:35Prison
00:46:36Trust me
00:46:36Switzerland is the wrong country
00:46:38It's wrong, yeah
00:46:39Austria
00:46:40Eventually
00:46:48We arrived at the other side
00:46:50So I can get the air conditioning on
00:46:5617 degrees
00:46:58I can have a bit about that, yeah
00:47:00Yeah, I think I'm going to have 17
00:47:01It's really getting...
00:47:02It's half 12 now
00:47:03It's really getting hot
00:47:04In order for the ferry to unload
00:47:12James had to disembark first
00:47:14Hang on a minute, bloke
00:47:24Something's not quite right
00:47:25What's the matter?
00:47:31I don't know
00:47:32Has it got fuel in it?
00:47:34Yeah, it's got loads of fuel
00:47:35Despite the horns
00:47:40James wouldn't rush his pre-flight checks
00:47:42Master switch, ignition, pump, pump
00:47:46That's off
00:47:47Very, very fast
00:47:53At least it's light
00:47:54Jeremy, we're keeping everybody on the boat now
00:47:59The ladies shout
00:48:01Sorry
00:48:05Excuse me
00:48:05Sorry
00:48:06Sorry
00:48:07I can't get through there
00:48:14Back up
00:48:15Your country that makes supercars
00:48:19You can't honk when somebody actually goes and buys one
00:48:21That is the correct position
00:48:23Because that's on
00:48:23And the panel is on
00:48:24The ignition is down
00:48:25I've got everything else off
00:48:26Do you want to get the...
00:48:27I don't know
00:48:28Let's get this
00:48:28That's the lastest thing in the world
00:48:36The fuel
00:48:39With the idiot's car now working
00:48:47We found the road on the other side of the lake
00:48:49It was a boring dual carriageway
00:48:51Still, there was one good thing
00:48:55We were heading north
00:48:57To where I'd wanted to go in the first place
00:48:59Switzerland
00:48:59Please, let's find something good
00:49:04We did
00:49:06This is the San Bernardino Pass
00:49:15The Swiss will look on these three cars
00:49:31As though the Antichrist
00:49:33Has come to their little world
00:49:35But I didn't care
00:49:37The hills are alive
00:49:40To the sound of horsepower
00:49:42Meanwhile, in the Aston
00:49:47Oh, man
00:49:55The San Bernardino Pass was something else
00:50:07The views
00:50:09The smoothness of the road surface
00:50:11It's the elegance of the road itself
00:50:13But Richard wasn't finished
00:50:15And insisted we kept heading north
00:50:18I wonder where he's taking us
00:50:22Wow
00:50:32Liechtenstein
00:50:33The only thing I know about Liechtenstein
00:50:35Is they make more false teeth here
00:50:37Than anywhere else in the world
00:50:39Which is probably why Hammond has brought us here
00:50:42All I'm going to do is hope it contains a brilliant road
00:50:45And I've had a good feeling about this place
00:50:46And so, outside the, um, museum
00:50:51I pulled over to consult our map
00:50:53You see, we want bends
00:50:55That stretch, look
00:50:56Liechtenstein was the last country in Europe
00:50:59To give women the votes in 1984
00:51:01That is in Liechtenstein, isn't it?
00:51:02If the entire population of Liechtenstein
00:51:04Went to the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff
00:51:06There'd be 39,500 empty seats
00:51:09Yeah, but, back to the road
00:51:10If we carry on up here
00:51:11And this bit wiggles
00:51:12Look at those turns
00:51:13Do you know this is a tax haven?
00:51:15Yes
00:51:16It's got more companies here than people
00:51:18That is a, that is a killer stretch of road
00:51:20That's a beauty
00:51:20Should we try each other's cars for this bit?
00:51:22What?
00:51:23Why don't we try each other's cars?
00:51:24No, I really like this one, mate
00:51:26Do you want to go in this?
00:51:27I love it
00:51:27No
00:51:27Right, so this, theoretically, is the start of the greatest driving road in the world
00:51:37I feel I may have made a slight mistake here
00:51:45He had
00:51:47There was a cycle race on
00:51:50And his brilliant road was closed
00:51:52What?
00:51:55Are we allowed to drive on it?
00:51:56No
00:51:57No
00:51:57It's shut!
00:52:00It is a bit
00:52:00You've dragged me all the way to Liechtenstein to go on a road that's shut!
00:52:05A bit
00:52:05Completely
00:52:06Where do you want to go now?
00:52:09Austria
00:52:09Oh, God
00:52:10You go to Austria, we can't smell your pits from there
00:52:12I'm going back to Italy
00:52:13Reluctantly, the others agreed to come with me
00:52:20So we headed back through Switzerland
00:52:21Stopping off for the night in the ski resort of Davos
00:52:25It had been a bad day
00:52:27We'd been through three countries and only found one good bit of road
00:52:31So Richard and I decided to vandalise James' Aston
00:52:34Half of me wants him to see it
00:52:36Half of me wants him to just drive all day with it on
00:52:39He'll never notice
00:52:40You know James, he doesn't notice anything
00:52:42He's not coming, is he?
00:52:44Okay, that's Kevin
00:52:46Sounds like a racing driver's name
00:52:49And he's bought us a drink
00:52:54You're alright, you're alright
00:53:08The next morning, we headed south out of Davos
00:53:12And couldn't quite believe what we'd stumbled on
00:53:16Mile after mile of deserted perfection
00:53:28Even Jeremy had to concede
00:53:41I was right about Switzerland
00:53:43This is absolute heaven
00:53:48Oh, this is much more like it
00:53:54What was God thinking of when he gave the Swiss this place?
00:54:03Plainly, it should be ours
00:54:04This road was a test of brakes, steering, grip, power and handling
00:54:13An ideal place there to reflect on the cars we've brought on our motoring holiday
00:54:18Everything about this car now has come alive
00:54:27It's suddenly in its element
00:54:28God, this thing just tracks so perfectly
00:54:39Meanwhile, in the Aston
00:54:43I wonder how much more of this I have to endure
00:54:46Before I can admit that this is a terrible car
00:54:49And that I hate it and I want to go home
00:54:51There is actually a physically pleasurable sensation
00:54:58That runs up your arm
00:54:59When you turn the wheel
00:55:01It's uncanny
00:55:03Tony Clarkson today married a Lamborghini
00:55:09And moved to Switzerland
00:55:10And then it hit me
00:55:16I was in a Lamborghini in the Alps
00:55:19All I need is a pair of sunglasses
00:55:23And some Matt Munro
00:55:26Oh no, hang on a minute
00:55:38We'd all pretty much decided that we'd found driving heaven
00:55:49Well, two of us had
00:55:50But then, after we popped over the border and back into Italy
00:55:55We found a cherry for the top of our cake
00:55:58The Stelvio Pass
00:56:06Fifteen miles of asphalt spaghetti draped on an alp
00:56:12It was stunning
00:56:16Shall we do it?
00:56:30Here we go
00:56:47It drops
00:56:59It's impossible
00:57:00Over the edge here, you'd have time to phone the insurers
00:57:05There's no other way of saying that this is a magnificent piece of road building
00:57:12Not like PlayStation this
00:57:24You can't just press the reset button when you get it wrong
00:57:26You just go through the pearly gates
00:57:28On fire
00:57:29I hate to admit this, but this Aston is starting to make a certain amount of good sense
00:57:37Even the brakes have stopped squeaking
00:57:39Climbing up now past 8,000 feet
00:57:43I think at this altitude, the Lambo has got the advantage
00:57:48I shall solve that though with some bravery
00:57:50This is hard work, if I had no air conditioning, I'd look ridiculous now
00:58:01What an extraordinary road
00:58:10Thank you, Italy
00:58:12Thank you, thank you, thank you
00:58:15We finished our run
00:58:20And as the cars ticked themselves cool
00:58:23We knew their work was done
00:58:26Our quest was at an end
00:58:29Davos to Stelvio
00:58:32The greatest driving road in the world
00:58:36I was right
00:58:37Tarot
00:58:41At the end
00:58:43The st adjustments
00:58:44In the end
00:58:46I was warned
00:58:47I was warned
00:58:47I was DANIEL
00:58:48I was warned
00:58:49I was warned
00:58:50I was warned
00:58:51I was warned
00:58:51I was warned
00:58:52I was warned
00:58:54It was a good holiday.
00:59:12So, there you are.
00:59:16If you're thinking of going on holiday next year, forget Centre Parks.
00:59:20Just go there.
00:59:21Yes, now, the cars.
00:59:22So, James.
00:59:25No.
00:59:26It's not on every level, Richard.
00:59:28I thought the Porsche was fantastic.
00:59:29I loved it.
00:59:30But the thing for me about that car, the main problem is I still don't see why.
00:59:34It's 15 grand more for the RS version than the ordinary GT3.
00:59:38I have to say the same on the Lambo.
00:59:39I can't believe that I wouldn't have had as much fun in a normal Gallardo.
00:59:42The other thing as well is if you're going to do a special edition Lamborghini,
00:59:46don't take stuff off.
00:59:47Put stuff on like space thrusters and machine guns because that's what Lamborghinis are all about.
00:59:51So, hang on.
00:59:52We took three cars on holiday and they were all wrong.
00:59:56Yes, we're back in business.
00:59:58Yeah, ambitious but rubbish.
01:00:00That's us.
01:00:01And I'll do more of that next week.
01:00:02See you then.
01:00:03Good night.
01:00:03It's a big thing, surgery.
01:00:13There are not many guys who is 50 who look that good.
01:00:16Adriana's breasts must be like old friends by now.
01:00:19Louis Theroux in pursuit of the perfect body under the knife.
01:00:23Next.
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