- 2 days ago
Jeremy reviews the lightweight Alfa Romeo 4C on a road trip through Italy while Richard heads to Belgium for a high-speed test of the McLaren P1 hypercar. James explores the BMW i3 electric city car, and Tom Hiddleston takes on the Top Gear track.
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Top Gear Season 21, Top Gear S21E02, Alfa Romeo 4C review, McLaren P1 Top Gear, BMW i3 review, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, Tom Hiddleston Top Gear, The Stig, Top Gear hypercar test
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Top Gear Season 21, Top Gear S21E02, Alfa Romeo 4C review, McLaren P1 Top Gear, BMW i3 review, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, Tom Hiddleston Top Gear, The Stig, Top Gear hypercar test
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Tonight, two swans move their heads about.
00:00:14I eat a shoe, and James says he's not fat.
00:00:19I'm not fat.
00:00:30Good evening, thank you so much.
00:00:32Thank you, thank you.
00:00:33Now, our deep and profound love on this show for Alfa Romeo
00:00:41is a triumph of hope over reality.
00:00:45We always pray that their new models will be brilliant,
00:00:48but we sort of know they won't be, and then they never are.
00:00:52But what about this, the new and very pretty 4C?
00:00:57Well, Richard Hammond has been to Northern Italy,
00:01:00in the sunshine, to find out all about it.
00:01:05Jammy little bum.
00:01:20Right, let's get this straight.
00:01:23I'm in a mid-engined, two-seater Alfa Romeo,
00:01:26the first proper Alfa sports car for 20 years.
00:01:34And I'm driving it in Northern Italy on a lovely day.
00:01:39In theory, things don't get much better.
00:01:44But, predictably, there are one or two problems.
00:01:48First of all, it's going to cost around £45,000.
00:01:57And that's a fair bit,
00:01:59especially as you don't get a V8 or even a V6.
00:02:03What you do get is a turbocharged, reworked version
00:02:06of the 1.7-litre, four-cylinder engine from a Giulietta hatchback.
00:02:11And under here, well, I don't know what's under here,
00:02:14because the bonnet is bolted shut.
00:02:17It's bolted shut for the same reason this car has no power steering
00:02:25and no proper climate control to save weight.
00:02:31That's why it has the same sort of carbon fibre chassis as a Formula One car.
00:02:37It's why there's almost no metal in the body at all.
00:02:41The upshot is, the 4C weighs just 925 kilos.
00:02:48That's about half what a Mercedes SLK weighs.
00:02:57And on a road like this, that really pays dividends.
00:03:02Oh, come on! Lovely!
00:03:06Because it's light, it's unbelievably agile.
00:03:11It changes direction like a kitten chasing a spider.
00:03:23And because there's no power steering,
00:03:24I can feel far more at the steering wheel.
00:03:27I know what the wheels are doing.
00:03:32It grips fabulously.
00:03:36And it doesn't need a massive engine.
00:03:42It's got 237 brake horsepower.
00:03:44Do you know what? That is enough.
00:03:46More than enough.
00:03:500-60 takes four and a half seconds.
00:03:54The top speed is 160.
00:03:57And yet, because of the lightness,
00:03:59it'll do 40 miles to the gallon.
00:04:01Drop the window, sample the noise.
00:04:09Oh!
00:04:10Lovely little crackle on the upshift.
00:04:13Oh!
00:04:13Oh, that's great.
00:04:16This little alpha is growing on me
00:04:18with a speed and ferocity
00:04:20that I've never before encountered.
00:04:23It's just getting under my skin.
00:04:26Because it's not like anything else,
00:04:28you have to live with it.
00:04:29Oh, my God!
00:04:32What...
00:04:33What are you doing here?
00:04:39As you well know, Hammond,
00:04:41we receive thousands of letters
00:04:43every single week from viewers
00:04:45and they all say the same thing.
00:04:47Dear top so-called gear,
00:04:49the Alpha 4C,
00:04:50is it better than a quad bike?
00:04:52Well, I'll clear that one up straight away.
00:04:54Yes, it is,
00:04:55because quad bikes are slow,
00:04:57ugly, noisy, stupid
00:04:58and incredibly dangerous.
00:05:00And I don't mean dangerous
00:05:01like you might fall off.
00:05:02I mean, like, they want to kill you.
00:05:04Everybody I know, pretty much,
00:05:06who's ever tried one,
00:05:07has been killed by it at some point.
00:05:09Yeah, that's as may be.
00:05:10But we need to settle this,
00:05:11so we're going to have a race.
00:05:12Well, we're going to race.
00:05:13Yeah.
00:05:14You on that, presumably.
00:05:15Yeah.
00:05:15Me in that.
00:05:16Yeah.
00:05:18Jeremy's proposal
00:05:19was a race from the top of Lake Como
00:05:21to a hotel terrace at the bottom.
00:05:24I would take the 43-mile lakeside route
00:05:27whilst he would attempt to go as the crow flies.
00:05:32Good.
00:05:33You're going to be killed and last.
00:05:36And so, at exactly 10.37am,
00:05:41the race began.
00:05:46Here we go.
00:05:47Let me talk you through my quad.
00:05:55It's called a Gibbs quad ski.
00:05:58Designed and engineered in Britain.
00:06:00Built just outside Detroit.
00:06:02And the engine is German.
00:06:04A 1.3 from a BMW motorcycle.
00:06:07And you have 40 horsepower.
00:06:11Doesn't sound like much,
00:06:12but like the Alfa, it's light.
00:06:16Apparently, it has the same power-to-weight ratio
00:06:18as a helicopter.
00:06:24He's mad.
00:06:25For me, he doesn't stand a chance.
00:06:26I know what he's thinking.
00:06:27He's imagining he'll be crashing off-road
00:06:30and cutting corners.
00:06:31He won't.
00:06:32He'll be bumbling through the woods
00:06:33on little tracks.
00:06:35He'll get stuck.
00:06:36He'll fall off.
00:06:36He'll break a leg, maybe two.
00:06:38Hammond was wrong.
00:06:42My legs were fine,
00:06:43but I had got into a bit of a pickle
00:06:45trying to find a shortcut.
00:06:48Totally lost.
00:06:50Literally no idea which...
00:06:52No idea where I'm...
00:06:55I'm just in weeds.
00:06:58Oh, now which way?
00:07:02With Jeremy stuck in the undergrowth,
00:07:04I had time to admire
00:07:06one of the most beautiful places on Earth.
00:07:18Oh, mountains, pretty village,
00:07:21all present and correct.
00:07:27Coming through.
00:07:29See, this scooter rider
00:07:30will not find me whizzing past
00:07:32in my Alfa Romeo
00:07:33because I know he loves Alfa Romeo.
00:07:36just as much,
00:07:37if not more,
00:07:38than I do.
00:07:39We have to love Alfa.
00:07:40It's the law.
00:07:44Meanwhile...
00:07:46Oh, God, no.
00:07:47Wait.
00:07:50Many knuckles.
00:07:52This may have a top speed of 40,
00:07:54but I'm not doing that now, really.
00:07:58Happily, however,
00:07:59Hammond was about to discover
00:08:00one of the Alfa's drawbacks.
00:08:03It's girth.
00:08:04Oh, my God, this is narrow.
00:08:09Oh, that's...
00:08:10That is a wide...
00:08:12This car is wide.
00:08:14That's a problem.
00:08:17So what were they thinking
00:08:18when they've got streets like this?
00:08:20I mean...
00:08:20Oh!
00:08:24Still,
00:08:25could be worse.
00:08:26Oh, no!
00:08:33Now look what I've done.
00:08:35I've accidentally crashed
00:08:37into Lake Como.
00:08:40But it's OK,
00:08:41because
00:08:42if I push this little button here...
00:08:44the wheels have folded up,
00:08:52and now
00:08:52I'm on a jet ski.
00:08:57Oh, and it gets better
00:08:57because
00:08:58on land it has
00:09:0040 horsepower,
00:09:01but here on water
00:09:03it has
00:09:03140.
00:09:05I know exactly
00:09:12what music
00:09:13we have to play now.
00:09:17No, not that!
00:09:19Cue the bomb!
00:09:19There we go.
00:09:3445 miles in there.
00:09:36Haven't you had it?
00:09:37Wherever you are?
00:09:39Don't leave it!
00:09:44Narrow.
00:09:45Really narrow.
00:09:46Really wide car.
00:09:47I'd like to be driving
00:09:49something narrower now,
00:09:50like a bus.
00:09:54Right.
00:09:55Pierrotown.
00:09:56Press on.
00:10:04So let's just get this straight.
00:10:06I'm wearing
00:10:06a wet white shirt
00:10:08and I'm in a lake.
00:10:10I'm Mr. Dorsey.
00:10:12Come on!
00:10:17There is
00:10:21Richard Hammond.
00:10:26Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:10:29I'll slow down a bit.
00:10:31Holland?
00:10:32Hello?
00:10:34Er, hello.
00:10:35Where are you?
00:10:36Er, to your left, mate.
00:10:37To your left.
00:10:38Can't be to my left.
00:10:39How can you be to my...
00:10:41What?
00:10:41Ha ha ha ha!
00:10:42Have you ever seen a car
00:10:44and a machine like this?
00:10:46What are you on?
00:10:48Is that the same quad?
00:10:50It certainly is.
00:10:52I'm afraid I must now say goodbye.
00:10:55Cheerio.
00:10:56See you soon.
00:10:59Jesus, son!
00:11:01He can just go straight across the lake now.
00:11:06I've got to go all the way down the bottom here
00:11:08and back up the other side.
00:11:11I'm going to lose this.
00:11:12And he's going to do his stupid smoke face.
00:11:18Spurred on by the horror of his face,
00:11:23I put the hammer down.
00:11:29Come on, little alpha.
00:11:30We were neck and neck,
00:11:40but then Jeremy got distracted
00:11:42by an Italian ferry.
00:11:45Look at that.
00:11:49What a machine.
00:11:52I'm sorry, I'm hearing the Bond music
00:11:55and go now.
00:11:58What a race.
00:11:59I'll give you a race.
00:12:17Oh, come on, I can't lose this.
00:12:20By this stage,
00:12:28I'd disentangled myself
00:12:29from the hydrofoil,
00:12:31but had run into another problem.
00:12:33Lake Como's weird winds.
00:12:35Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
00:12:42We've got some shock.
00:12:44Whoa.
00:12:46Whoa, whoa.
00:12:48I've lost ten miles.
00:12:50Oh, wow.
00:12:51Oh, the back bottom.
00:12:56Whoa, whoa.
00:12:57Wow.
00:12:58This looks huge down, does this?
00:13:01Oh, my God.
00:13:02The other one, we've got a big one.
00:13:05And now that was at 15 miles an hour,
00:13:07and I can't realistically
00:13:08go any faster,
00:13:10because I can't see where I'm bloody going.
00:13:13The vicious chop
00:13:14had put Hammond back in the lead.
00:13:21We have to beat him.
00:13:23Thankfully, on the lake,
00:13:30I'd found calmer water.
00:13:3245 miles an hour.
00:13:37We are back in this race.
00:13:39There he is.
00:13:51There is Richard Hammond.
00:13:54Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
00:13:55Goodbye, Hammond.
00:13:58He is history.
00:14:00It certainly seemed that way,
00:14:06because pretty soon,
00:14:08the hotel was in sight.
00:14:10There it is.
00:14:11There's the finishing line.
00:14:15So, I was definitely going to win this.
00:14:19But then I realised
00:14:21the victory
00:14:21would be a bit hollow.
00:14:25Obviously, I want to beat Hammond.
00:14:27Of course I do.
00:14:28But I don't want to beat
00:14:31that Alfa Romeo,
00:14:32because, to me,
00:14:34Alphas are special.
00:14:36They're really special.
00:14:38This is a bit like
00:14:39having a running race
00:14:40with your four-year-old son.
00:14:42Yes, of course you can win,
00:14:44but you don't really want to.
00:14:50It's not far now.
00:14:54Little Alfa,
00:14:55I think we have to accept
00:14:56the inevitable.
00:14:58He's not there, is he?
00:15:01In a few minutes,
00:15:02Hammond would arrive
00:15:03and see my quad ski,
00:15:05moored alongside
00:15:06the hotel's jetty.
00:15:09Damn and blast,
00:15:10I'm going to win this.
00:15:13Nothing I can do.
00:15:15But then,
00:15:16I spotted a hidey hole.
00:15:19Yes!
00:15:19Sometimes I stagger
00:15:23even myself
00:15:25with my gears.
00:15:28Oh no, oh no.
00:15:29I'm so sorry.
00:15:41Right,
00:15:42where is he?
00:15:43This is the terrace.
00:16:02Up here, maybe.
00:16:03Do you know what?
00:16:15He know here.
00:16:17I don't know how.
00:16:19What I've done is win.
00:16:22In that little Alfa.
00:16:23Hammond!
00:16:24Mate!
00:16:26I don't know what to say.
00:16:26Well, Dan,
00:16:26you beat me fair and square.
00:16:29I did?
00:16:30In the Alfa.
00:16:32Do you know,
00:16:32I could have,
00:16:33I'd have bet a million pounds
00:16:34when I overtook you.
00:16:36I was going to win.
00:16:37Your question is answered.
00:16:47The Alfa 4C
00:16:49is better
00:16:50than the quad bike.
00:16:52Yeah,
00:16:53but we saw you lose on purpose.
00:16:55A bit.
00:16:55Just a bit, yeah.
00:16:56Did you not like
00:16:57the jet ski,
00:16:57quad ski thing?
00:16:58Oh, yes,
00:16:59it's brilliant.
00:16:59Do you know,
00:17:00the best thing about it is
00:17:01its reliability.
00:17:02It performed faultlessly
00:17:04all day
00:17:05and then it performed
00:17:07faultlessly
00:17:07all the next day
00:17:08when we had to rerun the race
00:17:11because an American
00:17:12knocked the camera
00:17:13with all the film in it
00:17:15into the lake.
00:17:16Really?
00:17:17I was on this thing
00:17:18for two days.
00:17:20Two days.
00:17:21By the time we finished,
00:17:22my sausage
00:17:23looked like
00:17:24a beaver's tail.
00:17:27Right.
00:17:29Um,
00:17:29is it expensive?
00:17:31What,
00:17:31my sausage?
00:17:32No.
00:17:33The thing.
00:17:35Oh, the thing?
00:17:35Yes,
00:17:35it's 26,000 pounds.
00:17:37But,
00:17:38no,
00:17:38hang on,
00:17:39you do get
00:17:39a lot
00:17:40of health and safety
00:17:41warning notices
00:17:42for that.
00:17:43This is my favourite
00:17:44down here.
00:17:44It's warning about
00:17:45what you have to wear
00:17:46and it says,
00:17:47hang on,
00:17:48hang on,
00:17:50normal swimwear
00:17:51does not adequately
00:17:53protect
00:17:53against forceful
00:17:55water entry
00:17:56into rectum
00:17:57or vagina.
00:17:58LAUGHTER
00:17:59LAUGHTER
00:18:00LAUGHTER
00:18:01LAUGHTER
00:18:02LAUGHTER
00:18:03LAUGHTER
00:18:04He's not making
00:18:06that up.
00:18:07He's actually,
00:18:07it says,
00:18:08it says vagina on it.
00:18:09LAUGHTER
00:18:10Um, um,
00:18:11excuse me,
00:18:12does anyone mind
00:18:13if we talk about
00:18:14the car?
00:18:15Yes, good idea,
00:18:16cos I've got to justice
00:18:16about this.
00:18:17What?
00:18:17How wide is it?
00:18:19It's wider than a Range Rover.
00:18:20Is it?
00:18:21Seriously?
00:18:21Very wide.
00:18:22And let me just get this
00:18:23straight,
00:18:23Alfa Romeo
00:18:24is selling a car
00:18:26where you can't
00:18:27open the bonnet.
00:18:28I know.
00:18:30Ballsy.
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:31Ballsy.
00:18:32It is, yes,
00:18:32but that's not
00:18:33the interesting thing
00:18:34about it.
00:18:34What is the interesting
00:18:35thing?
00:18:36Well, it costs
00:18:36£47,000,
00:18:38but when you get in it,
00:18:39everything just feels
00:18:40a bit sort of cheap
00:18:42and plastic in me
00:18:43and look at this
00:18:44handbrake.
00:18:45It's just...
00:18:46It's like something
00:18:48that came out of a cracker.
00:18:49Do you know,
00:18:50if I got a handbrake
00:18:51in a Christmas cracker,
00:18:52I'd be a bit disappointed.
00:18:54You know what I mean.
00:18:56Yeah, I do, actually.
00:18:56It's just that
00:18:57there are a lot
00:18:58of EU rules
00:18:59coming very soon
00:19:00on fuel efficiency
00:19:01and emissions
00:19:02and so on,
00:19:02and the only way
00:19:04that cars can meet them
00:19:05is if they get
00:19:06very, very light.
00:19:08Yeah, and pretty soon
00:19:09all cars will have
00:19:10to be made like this,
00:19:11but do you know what?
00:19:12I don't think
00:19:13that's necessarily
00:19:13a bad thing.
00:19:14Yes, you get
00:19:15a shonky handbrake,
00:19:16but your car
00:19:17is more nimble,
00:19:18it's faster,
00:19:19and it's more economical.
00:19:20Yeah, and for the
00:19:21ultimate expression
00:19:22of that art,
00:19:24later in the show,
00:19:25we have a review
00:19:26of this,
00:19:27the new McLaren P1,
00:19:29which is astonishing.
00:19:32Well, I am very much
00:19:33looking forward to that,
00:19:35but first,
00:19:36it's the news.
00:19:38Yes.
00:19:39Now, Kia
00:19:40is working on
00:19:41something called
00:19:43gesture control.
00:19:45It's very interesting,
00:19:46this is that
00:19:46it's having buttons
00:19:47all over the dashboard
00:19:48of your car,
00:19:48you will just sort of
00:19:49wave your hand around
00:19:50a bit,
00:19:51and the car will
00:19:52do stay.
00:19:53Very futuristic.
00:19:54Yeah.
00:19:55But I only make
00:19:56three gestures
00:19:56when I'm driving
00:19:57a car.
00:20:00What?
00:20:00One of them is,
00:20:01ooh, which means
00:20:02I'm really sorry
00:20:03I didn't need to do
00:20:03that,
00:20:04and then there's,
00:20:05hi,
00:20:06to a friend,
00:20:07and...
00:20:08Call Jeremy Clarkson.
00:20:11Or,
00:20:12navigate to
00:20:13James May's house.
00:20:16Ooh,
00:20:17now,
00:20:17now,
00:20:18you know those,
00:20:18um,
00:20:19motorway gantries
00:20:20that are supposed
00:20:20to be used to tell
00:20:21you about stationary
00:20:23traffic ahead or ice?
00:20:24Yes.
00:20:24But they're actually
00:20:25used for telling you
00:20:26stuff that just
00:20:27doesn't matter.
00:20:28I mean,
00:20:28the picture of one here,
00:20:29yeah,
00:20:29check your fuel level.
00:20:32You might as well say,
00:20:33wash your hands
00:20:34after going to the
00:20:35laboratory.
00:20:35Wash your hair?
00:20:36Yeah,
00:20:36well,
00:20:37anyway,
00:20:37the committee that
00:20:38decides on what
00:20:39messages are flashed up,
00:20:40and it is a committee,
00:20:40we checked,
00:20:41has been told to stop
00:20:42doing that sort of thing,
00:20:44okay?
00:20:44Because the government
00:20:45says it's distracting.
00:20:47But it isn't distracting,
00:20:48it's irritating.
00:20:48Scarlett Johansson
00:20:50in a short skirt
00:20:51on a windy day
00:20:51on a motorway bridge,
00:20:52that is distracting.
00:20:54That would be...
00:20:55It's distracting me right now.
00:20:58I think what would
00:20:58be distracting
00:20:59would be if you
00:20:59painted the surface
00:21:01of the motorway
00:21:01so that it looked
00:21:02like the opening
00:21:03sequences of Doctor
00:21:04Who
00:21:04as you drove along.
00:21:05That would be
00:21:06really distracting.
00:21:07I think they should
00:21:08use those signs
00:21:09to put up pub quiz
00:21:10questions
00:21:11as you drive past.
00:21:12Come on,
00:21:13that's a really good idea.
00:21:15What,
00:21:15and then you have
00:21:15the answer
00:21:16on the next one along?
00:21:17Yeah,
00:21:17turns would just fly by.
00:21:19Ooh,
00:21:19I don't know,
00:21:20and then you get
00:21:20the answer.
00:21:21Yes,
00:21:22thank you.
00:21:22Not if my little sister
00:21:23set the questions.
00:21:24What?
00:21:24You'd get the question
00:21:25on one and then
00:21:26the next one would go,
00:21:27oh, come on,
00:21:27you must know that.
00:21:29Please,
00:21:30can we move on?
00:21:30I'd like to talk
00:21:31about this.
00:21:32It's the new
00:21:33Corvette 76.
00:21:34Oh, yeah,
00:21:35supercharged V8,
00:21:366.2 litres,
00:21:37625 brake horsepower.
00:21:39It's got a magnetic
00:21:39ride control,
00:21:40electronic diff,
00:21:42carbon fibre,
00:21:42all the high-tech stuff
00:21:44you get on a
00:21:44European sports car.
00:21:45Yeah,
00:21:46it doesn't really have
00:21:46the European self-restraint,
00:21:48though, does it?
00:21:49That's a bit more
00:21:49shock and awe
00:21:50than stiff upper lip.
00:21:51Yeah, but look at it.
00:21:52No, Hammond,
00:21:53you can't drive
00:21:54a Corvette in England.
00:21:56It's like talking
00:21:56in a Lyft.
00:21:57You can do that
00:21:58in America,
00:21:59you can't do that
00:22:00in Britain.
00:22:00In fact,
00:22:01we should have signs
00:22:01at Heathrow
00:22:02telling American visitors,
00:22:03please drive on the left
00:22:04and don't talk in Lyft.
00:22:06Yes, yes,
00:22:07whatever,
00:22:07but I think
00:22:08that looks stupendous.
00:22:09It would look stupendous
00:22:11in Texas,
00:22:12but it would look
00:22:13ridiculous
00:22:14in Tewkesbury.
00:22:15It would.
00:22:17Hammond,
00:22:17if you bought one of those
00:22:18and drove it around in England,
00:22:19the next thing you'd do
00:22:20would be hanging up
00:22:21a Confederate flag
00:22:22outside your house.
00:22:23I did paint
00:22:24a Confederate flag
00:22:24on the roof
00:22:25of my Toyota Corolla
00:22:26when I was 17.
00:22:27Where were you?
00:22:28Rippon,
00:22:29North Yorkshire.
00:22:30What?
00:22:31Look, pretty...
00:22:31Let me just get this straight.
00:22:32You drove around
00:22:33North Yorkshire
00:22:34in a crappy little
00:22:35Japanese hatchback
00:22:36with a Confederate flag
00:22:39on the roof.
00:22:40Yeah.
00:22:40A symbol of slavery.
00:22:46Ladies and gentlemen,
00:22:4712 years of Hammond.
00:22:49I didn't realise.
00:22:50It's just something
00:22:50that looked nice.
00:22:51The base model of this,
00:22:53not the Z06,
00:22:53the normal,
00:22:5460 grand?
00:22:5562, yes.
00:22:56Well, for about
00:22:56the same sort of money,
00:22:57you can have this,
00:22:58which is the new Jack.
00:22:59OK, this is the F-type coupe.
00:23:02That's around the same
00:23:03sort of money,
00:23:03and I put it to you
00:23:04that what we have here
00:23:05is a lovely piece
00:23:07of double Gloucester
00:23:08on a water biscuit.
00:23:10Your Corvette
00:23:11is 600 kilos
00:23:13of Monterey Jack
00:23:14on a taco.
00:23:15I'd rather have that.
00:23:16You'd rather have
00:23:17the Monterey Jack,
00:23:18wouldn't you?
00:23:18Hang on a minute.
00:23:20Surely it's 600 kilograms
00:23:21of Monterey Jack
00:23:22on a taco
00:23:22with a strawberry on top.
00:23:24Strawberry.
00:23:25There's always a strawberry
00:23:26on top of it.
00:23:26Are there any Americans here?
00:23:28Yeah, no.
00:23:29You are?
00:23:29Hey, we've wondered
00:23:31about this for years.
00:23:31Why do you put
00:23:32strawberries on everything?
00:23:33Because they taste good.
00:23:34Yeah, but not
00:23:35on a shepherd's pie.
00:23:38This is not an exaggeration.
00:23:39I stayed in a hotel
00:23:40in L.A.
00:23:41I had to have
00:23:41some dry cleaning done,
00:23:42and when it came back
00:23:43in the morning,
00:23:43it was all wrapped up
00:23:44and there was a strawberry
00:23:45on it.
00:23:45What, on your dry cleaning?
00:23:46I've been on my dry cleaning.
00:23:48Now, this isn't news.
00:23:49It's a question.
00:23:51Why is the world
00:23:52still incapable
00:23:53of working out
00:23:54a way of dispensing petrol?
00:23:56Anyone been to America?
00:23:57We must have all been
00:23:57to America, I suppose,
00:23:58at some point.
00:23:59You go into a petrol station
00:24:00and you have to pay
00:24:01for the fuel
00:24:02before you've filled your tank.
00:24:04Well, you don't know
00:24:04how much you want
00:24:05or how much it's going to take.
00:24:06Yes, but I hate
00:24:07those European stations
00:24:08where they have
00:24:09those automatic
00:24:10credit card ones.
00:24:11Don't work.
00:24:12No, they never ever do.
00:24:13Never work.
00:24:13The other one
00:24:14that doesn't work,
00:24:14and especially in France,
00:24:15are those ones
00:24:16where you're supposed
00:24:16to put Euro notes
00:24:17in a little slot.
00:24:18No, they don't.
00:24:19You put it in
00:24:19and it goes,
00:24:20eh, eh.
00:24:22Oh, there's a lot
00:24:23of people doing that
00:24:24and they go,
00:24:24eh, eh.
00:24:27Give me the worst scenario,
00:24:29James.
00:24:29Worst scenario is,
00:24:30eh.
00:24:32Yep, there we go.
00:24:33Get the pump out,
00:24:33eh.
00:24:34Yes.
00:24:35But the worst country
00:24:37in the world
00:24:37for filling out
00:24:38with petrol
00:24:39is Britain
00:24:39because petrol stations
00:24:41here now
00:24:41are also supermarkets,
00:24:44which means that
00:24:44people pull up
00:24:45at the pump and then go and do their shopping but that's exactly why i was late this morning
00:24:49because i pulled up behind the car that was at the pump ready for my turn and i knew who it was
00:24:54through the window it was woman she was doing the whole weekly grocery shop and she came out
00:24:58with the four massive carrier bags and i thought well that's finally it now and then she went to
00:25:02the cash machine and sorted out greece's national debt with her card and a lot of numbers i mean i
00:25:08am a patient man but me even i was thinking i want to put your head in a brown paper bag and
00:25:12bludgeoning you to death with the blunt end of an axe and that's that's quite bad do you know my
00:25:18question in petrol stations that we could ask this here and it's it's mostly women what do you do in
00:25:24the 15 minutes between getting into the car and driving off i know what it is i know what it is
00:25:31because i watched it she turned around she put a handbag on the back seat fair enough but then
00:25:37interfered with it for about what though i suspect women try to make sure their handbag doesn't fall
00:25:43over which i don't understand because women's handbags are not well organized so it doesn't
00:25:48matter if it falls over i mean i reckon i could put a house brick in a woman's handbag and she would
00:25:54not know it was in there ever have you got a handbag with you no you haven't yeah anyone got a handbag
00:26:00because well that's a shame because i was going to do this game i was going to put my car keys and it's a
00:26:04jag this week in your handbag and then if you could find them by the end of the show you could
00:26:09have the car you wouldn't be able to two angry old men rampaging on about petrol stations him in
00:26:16his cardigan him just him now as i'm sure you know after 13 years the british military forces are
00:26:24pulling out of afghanistan what you may not know is that that operation has been the biggest deployment
00:26:29of british military vehicles since world war ii now bringing that lot home is quite a big job so
00:26:36i packed my tin helmet and went out there to get in the way
00:26:46if you want to get a sense of just how big the british involvement in afghanistan has become
00:26:50you just have to look at the size of its main base camp bastion
00:27:02in 2006 when british forces arrived here it was just a scrap of desert with a few tents in it but now
00:27:09look it's the size of redding
00:27:21and inside it's 25 miles of blast-proof perimeter wall alongside the few comforts of home you'll find a
00:27:28vast armada of vehicles
00:27:31at its peak the number was 5000
00:27:43we've got a few of them here the names will be dimly familiar from news reports that
00:27:47is a ridgeback that is a mastiff then you have a foxhound the pale colored one is a husky
00:27:53and that weird looking thing with the tracks on over there that is a warthog
00:27:57don't expect cute and cuddly names like panda or fiesta everything here is named after a dog
00:28:04except the warthog which is named after a warthog
00:28:09to keep the wheels turning the army has built this enormous workshop which
00:28:14at full strength carries 60 million pounds worth of spares and employs 150 mechanics
00:28:20bastion even has its own purpose-built driver training ground approved by a squad of driving instructors
00:28:34the sheer size of this operation is truly impressive but equally fascinating is what the afghanistan
00:28:41campaign has done to britain's military vehicles
00:28:44it has brought about the biggest change in a generation when the british first arrived here
00:28:52their staple patrol vehicle the snatch land rover offered woeful protection against ieds in 2009 alone
00:29:0179 soldiers fell victim to such devices
00:29:04the 29 tonne american-made mastiff offered a quick fix but in leamington spa a small british firm devised a
00:29:18more 21st century solution
00:29:26this is a foxhound and it's very clever because it's actually made out of armor it's not a normal vehicle
00:29:33to which armor plate has been added it's sort of armor monocock if you like
00:29:40the foxhound also has a v-shaped hull to deflect mine blasts and thanks to its state-of-the-art armor
00:29:46it weighs just seven and a half tons which makes enough feather weight around these parts
00:29:54to drive it's pretty much like an off-road car
00:29:58it's a positive mountain goat this thing
00:30:05now history will record that government bureaucrats dragged their heels over the military vehicle
00:30:09crisis in afghanistan but the boffins who developed the foxhound certainly didn't this machine was
00:30:16designed engineered tested proved and got on the ground in large numbers in just over three years
00:30:22so i'm doing that with a small hatchback or something
00:30:31alongside the foxhound
00:30:35the military drew on a policy called urgent operational requirement or uor which saw them
00:30:41combine operational demands and the best vehicle related suggestions from soldiers on the ground
00:30:46here's a very simple example of uor this is a mastiff
00:30:55it's got cameras mounted on the sides uh commander buzz here can look at the pictures on his screen now
00:31:00on the early ones they were rigidly mounted when you went through things like villages they got smashed
00:31:04so somebody said well why not put them on a hinge so they did
00:31:08soldiers also needed their vehicles to be more stealthy in the dark so a night vision system was
00:31:18developed that would allow them to switch off their headlights i'm now driving the mastiff completely
00:31:25blacked out but using the night vision system suspended in front of my face and this is quite amazing
00:31:31this is actually my eyes i can't see a single thing through the windscreen
00:31:38these lamps on the outside are infrared and illuminate the surrounding area our camera can
00:31:43see the light they emit but it's invisible to the naked eye we ought to point out that normally we
00:31:49wouldn't even have these red interior lights on those are there so that our cameras are working properly
00:31:54but actually you could drive this we could be completely black in here couldn't we completely black out
00:31:58yeah right so i've missed those what are those are they rocks or are they yeah they're just
00:32:04mountains over here straightening up sir you see that compound ahead of us yeah yeah you want to
00:32:10be going to the ground to the left of that i can see that as clear as day it's a good piece of care
00:32:16it's brilliant isn't it now on a machine as heavily armored as a mastiff the protection against roadside bombs
00:32:23is good but afghanistan threw up another issue that needed sorting what if the vehicle is blown over
00:32:31how do you train for that well what you do is you build one of these it's a rodette roll over
00:32:41all these improvements have had a dramatic effect on military motoring out here
00:32:58since the new generation of pmv's was introduced that's protected military vehicles the mastiff the
00:33:05foxhound the husky the wartime all those things there have been over 1 000 survivors of id strikes on vehicles
00:33:15and a senior british officer admitted to me the other day that in the old days when we had the soft skin
00:33:21vehicles the snatch land rover and so on that might have been more like three casualties per vehicle
00:33:35with our troops now coming home this stuff is too valuable to leave behind so our massive operation
00:33:41is underway to bring it back to britain at forward bases like this one all the vehicles and spares are
00:33:47being gathered up for the drive back to bastion which meant that in the middle of the night i found
00:33:54myself in a convoy of returning vehicles in full ross kemp mode we're in a mastiff we're in a convoy of 31
00:34:01vehicles these legs belong to sue who's at the top on the gun keeping lookout hello morning morning ma'am
00:34:08is there room for two of us up there give it a go hang on i'll move this way a bit there we go
00:34:17i've pulled something off
00:34:24i'm not fat
00:34:25what's the stop somebody out because i mean we can't really see very much out there what's
00:34:32to stop somebody out there just taking a shot at you uh absolutely nothing at the moment so they're
00:34:38out there somewhere they are they're not that far away when was the last time a roadside bomb went
00:34:44off on top on this bit do you know very uh very recent very recent very recent
00:34:57daylight found us still in one piece and back within the walls of bastion the packing up process
00:35:04could begin alongside a stripped down service each vehicle gets a 24-hour long jet wash
00:35:11a biological decontamination and at the very end its own passport and look at the size of it all
00:35:21these pages all these signatures everything signed off every single vehicle and piece of
00:35:28equipment has one of those and there are over three and a half thousand of them so don't complain
00:35:33next time you have to tax an mot your car for some poor souls the new machinery came too late
00:35:49but the military has responded to the brutality of this conflict
00:35:53and the vehicles we're bringing home from afghanistan are much better than the ones we went out
00:36:23and there it is the big military fox hand all since the army loves an acronym the big ms
00:36:43anyway it's uh it's now time to put an s in our rpc uh britain has produced many great toms over the
00:36:51years daily jones and of course mass the tank engine but tonight our tom is the newest of them all
00:36:59he's from thor and avengers assemble and warhorse ladies and gentlemen tom heddleston
00:37:06thank you very much thank you very much thank you very much thank you
00:37:20i was half expecting you to ask the audience to kneel before you
00:37:25not here i've got my horns with me so let's go into your car history if i may yeah sure your first car
00:37:30then what was it so as a peugeot 106 um one yeah it's quite adventurous um 1.1 um really poor when
00:37:44you floored it you felt it um it was a 1.1 what they always had silly names zest yeah there you go
00:37:52sounds like a water it was it sounds like lemon juice it does i bought it with my first um
00:37:58um paycheck for some uh tv work that i got while i was at university and i kept that for 10 years 10
00:38:04years 10 whole years all the way through my 20s yeah but i presume that obviously now as a result of
00:38:10you being low-key in the thor franchise indeed yeah there's no need now to drive around in cars with zesty
00:38:17names well i'm very uh fortunate to drive a jaguar and um as you probably know i'm part of a campaign that
00:38:24they have recently done and they are weirdly jaguar has been like part of my life for the last couple
00:38:29of years because i keep playing characters in films who drive jaguars what does loki drive a jet
00:38:35i think loki drives a spaceship yes he does is it a jag spaceship it is a jag i'm sure
00:38:41i'm sure i don't know i just have left my wallet today this is embarrassing yes i'm sorry he would have
00:38:48a caddish caddish spaceship yeah um no did this jag commercial actually i don't know if anybody's
00:38:53seen it just have a look at this have you ever noticed how in hollywood movies all the villains
00:38:58are played by brits baby we just sound right thank you barry we're more focused
00:39:07or precise we're always one step ahead with a certain style an eye for detail and we're obsessed by power
00:39:28stiff upper lip is key and we all drive jaguars oh yes it's good to be burned
00:39:37so the line i like most in that is mark strong's because he goes and we all drive jaguars yeah but
00:39:49it should be is we all drive jaguars now right as a result of this yeah or indeed a helicopter was
00:39:58that really filmed in london it was all film in london it was one of the most extraordinary
00:40:02evenings of my life i i um we were allowed to go over over central london about 500 feet
00:40:07and uh the door of the helicopter was open and uh tom hooper who directed was sitting behind the
00:40:13camera and we were up sort of banking rights and i was leaning out the window and at a certain point
00:40:18he said i'm afraid we have to cut we have to change we have to change it's like okay good that's
00:40:22completely fine it's really high you know what i mean so like when the camera was rolling i was like
00:40:30i got this for more focus more precise and as soon as it was cut i was like god the windows open
00:40:35someone shut the door this is a good point i mean it's a very good business isn't it that is raised in
00:40:40that commercial about the number of brits who are bad i mean it was rickman and then hopkins and
00:40:46i remember nancy hopkins well i guess it started with james mason back in the day i thought you're
00:40:50going to say james may the world's longest and most boring film the undiscovered british villain yes but
00:40:59what do what is it that you think that the brits bring to a hollywood movie i genuinely think it's
00:41:04because americans think we're inherently distrustful they think oh my god your accent you're so sneaky
00:41:11uh or something i mean it's just it's a it's a delusion of course they like seeing us fail i think
00:41:18that's what it is shooting the white house i think that's what it is because you have to fail obviously
00:41:21if you're the baddie yeah that's probably what it is now um your career began i believe at slow
00:41:27comprehensive it certainly did yeah as the front leg of an elephant i was the front leg of an elephant um
00:41:34carrying eddie redmayne he was grand enough to be the passenger of the elephant yeah i was the
00:41:39arse of a donkey once i ended up here as a result of that but and then the greatest arse of a donkey
00:41:47in the world
00:41:55sorry i couldn't help it no that was close because somebody said you were a good mimic
00:41:59is that something i mean it's something i've done i i've done it my whole life i remember when i was a
00:42:05child used to have a double tape deck and i would i would record my own radio show with all these
00:42:10different voices and they were basically voices of people i'd heard off the telly you know um philip
00:42:16schofield and could you still do philip schofield i don't know i don't even know if i've um actually
00:42:21don't bother i wouldn't know what he sounded like i'd throw me another one anthony hopkins oh
00:42:27tony hopkins yeah have you had him on the show top gear oh yes i'd love to be on the show i'd like to
00:42:31drive to drive faster on the track we've been taught drive by the stick stick greek man greek man i'd love
00:42:43any more names we can fire try to make them men is that probably easier
00:42:47what arnold schwarzenegger arnold schwarzenegger so what was that paulo grady i don't know
00:42:52i think i'll go for schwarzenegger what's his what
00:42:54i was trying to think of something he says um i know now why you cry
00:43:02that sounded a little bit like peter o'toole sorry about that i know now why you cry
00:43:10that is quite a skill yeah and what do you do now anything exciting um i'm just finishing a run of
00:43:15coriolanus in the west end which i've enjoyed hugely and i'm about to go to uh toronto to make a
00:43:22horror film with guillermo del toro if you know a mexican director who directed pan's labyrinth
00:43:28who did one with tilda swinton as well just recently that's correct there's a film called
00:43:31only lovers left alive which is coming out in the uk and i think on the 21st of february
00:43:37and it's it's a basically love story it's a tilda and i play a couple who are vampires
00:43:42so it's a vampire vampire film but we're vegetarians we don't bite
00:43:45vegetarian vampires this i need to see we're much too much too classy for all that 15th century
00:43:53nonsense now i'm conscious at the time because i know you are appearing on stage this evening in
00:43:58coriolanus in coriolanus yeah which calls for you at the end i understand to be strung upside down
00:44:04bleeding profusely that's how it goes down yeah spoiler yeah it is a 450 year old text i think it's
00:44:12okay did it occur to you when you were driving around the track that if you had an accident
00:44:16you could save the makeup but if i just roll the car yeah crash it you could turn up and say i have
00:44:24my 27 wounds upon me 27 wounds blood gouting so did you crash i didn't crash per se um because well
00:44:34should we have a look let's have a look i'm very nervous it was very wet out there who would like to
00:44:38see the lap have a look play the tape no way oh the shame yeah you've got a double first from
00:44:56cambridge have you not in classics i did i did you can't set off in a voxel action oh dear anyway
00:45:03let's see the finished product shall we when you actually set off here we go oh that's a lot of
00:45:11clutch yeah yeah come on come on
00:45:19god almighty that's wet
00:45:21good well though go go go go go go take the ben hard take the ben hard use the track
00:45:35yeah use the track better god you've actually got that thing sliding it's not normally it's got very
00:45:41good grip yeah it was it was very popular forever driving in puddles like could you see the lines at
00:45:49the hammerhead yeah just about very difficult yeah no uh he was here last week he said he couldn't see
00:45:57the lines because it was so wet it's weird in it yeah two wet days
00:46:02floor it you're not dig it flat you're not come on you are no you're not i was going to say that's
00:46:14ballsy on the day like today stupid but ballsy right all the tail coming out you are very committed
00:46:22to this there you go center last corner it's very nicely done gambon more understand a bit safe no i
00:46:30disagree that was understood there we are across the line
00:46:40now we've only ever had one wet lap which was last week hugh bonneville so where do you think
00:46:44you've come bearing that in mind oh i'm i'm a bit worried i haven't beaten here it would be nice to
00:46:49be somewhere somewhere around that that area right somewhere around that there's there's ron howard look
00:46:55he directed rush it would be nice he did ron had one for that was dry he was just basically hopeless
00:47:00um um he was 150.1 you tom hiddlest one that's good that's good okay
00:47:1240 but only just 9.9 oh there you go
00:47:22well
00:47:22well
00:47:28all right thank you in the wet very wet thank you i've got to see yeah special very wet lap
00:47:35well i must let you go which is a shame because i'm much enjoying all of this ladies and gentlemen
00:47:40tom hiddleston
00:47:52this is the brand new 866 000 pound mclaren p1 probably the most advanced and jaw-dropping car the
00:48:03world has ever seen the attention to detail in this thing boggles the mind it is it's almost science
00:48:11fiction and so there was only one place on earth where i could test it properly belgium
00:48:23this is bruges
00:48:39it's a quiet friendly cobbled sort of place and it's just a stone's throw from brussels home to all the
00:48:46environmental eu lawmakers all of which makes it an ideal starting point for my test of the new mclaren
00:48:59because behind the front seats there are 324
00:49:04laptop style batteries which power a silent polar bear friendly electric motor
00:49:11this means that even the most frizzy haired sandal enthusiast would welcome this car
00:49:18into their city center it's like that other two-seater electric car the gee whiz
00:49:24it's al gore with a windscreen wiper
00:49:30do not think however that it has the get up and go of jabber the heart
00:49:35because the electric motor in this produces a whopping 176 horsepower
00:49:45that's about what you get from a volkswagen gti so it's pretty nippy
00:49:55the only problem is that after just six miles the batteries will be flat so you'll need to plug
00:50:02your car into the mains and sit about eating a chocolate shoe for two hours until they're charged
00:50:08up again
00:50:13or if this doesn't appeal there is an alternative
00:50:19because you see the p1 is fitted as standard with an on-board petrol power generator
00:50:25and it is quite a big one in fact it's a 3.8 liter twin turbocharged 722 horsepower v8
00:50:37we push this button there it is firing up and the great thing is it's not just charging the batteries
00:50:46it's also working alongside the electric motor to power the wheels
00:50:51so the p1 then is not like a gee whiz at all in any way thanks to that generator you can take this
00:51:02out of a city center and onto the open road
00:51:05and that's another reason i've come to belgium because there are so many roads to choose from
00:51:24belgium has three times as many roads and 50 more cars per square mile than we do in britain
00:51:32and the stats from this remarkable country just keep on coming there are so many miles of street
00:51:40lit motorway here that belgium is officially the brightest country on earth it's a little known fact
00:51:49that buzz aldrin's first words when he set foot on the moon were good god you can see belgium from up here
00:51:55i bet on the road i chose there was rain
00:52:11there was sunshine there were clear stretches and there were traffic jams and the mclaren was quiet and
00:52:22comfortable through it all but it was not what you'd call luxurious
00:52:31it is frankly as well equipped as a pair of monk's underpants
00:52:42and that's because like the alpha we saw earlier this car was designed to be as fat as iggy pop
00:52:49inside there's no glove box and no carpets the glass is just three and a half millimeters thick
00:52:59one and a half millimeters thinner than the glass in normal cars except in the back windows where
00:53:05there's no glass at all no lacquer is added to the carbon fiber trim to save one and a half kilograms
00:53:13the whole chassis weighs less than james may the trimmings are titanium and the body is made from
00:53:22just five panels which means less glue and fewer bolts are needed to hold it all together
00:53:30all of this means that despite the bank of batteries and the fact it has two engines
00:53:35this car weighs less than a voxel astro that of course makes it economical and fast really fast mind-blowingly fast
00:54:05the speed in fact is the main reason i brought this car to belgium because belgium is home to this place
00:54:24the longest wildest racetrack on the f1 calendar
00:54:38has it made something so this fast
00:54:44okay okay let me just slow it down while i explain what's going on here
00:54:49the electric motor and the big v8 generator are working together
00:54:54so that i have at my disposal 903 brake horsepower
00:55:08obviously i've driven a bugatti veyron that has more than that
00:55:13but a bugatti veyron
00:55:15oh it has four-wheel drive and it weighs more than most mountains
00:55:24this is rear-wheel drive and the only significant weight comes from the air passing over the body
00:55:31the throttle is the throttle is a hyperspace button step on it and you're gone
00:55:54and yet somehow even in this appalling weather it got round all of the corners without crashing once
00:56:06so how
00:56:12well that's partly because it's made of stuff from the future
00:56:16and partly because it's clever
00:56:25it adapts it moves around to suit its environment
00:56:30as the speed climbs the rear wing rises to generate more downforce but as you go past 156 miles an hour
00:56:40it starts to go back down a little bit otherwise the weight of the air passing over it would be so
00:56:46enormous it would break the suspension then you have the exhaust which works with the rear diffuser to
00:56:54generate an area of low pressure into which the back of the car is sucked the wheels are made from
00:57:02military grade aluminium the brake discs from a material that's only ever been used in the arian space
00:57:08program and they're coated with something called silicon carbide apparently it's the hardest substance
00:57:14known to man apart from dried weetabix obviously and then the whole thing sits on four tires that were designed
00:57:23and made by pirelli all of this means you really have the confidence to open it up
00:57:31this thing goes from 0 to 160 miles an hour faster than a golf goes from 0 to 60 130 140 150 160 170 180 190
00:57:54bloody hell fire
00:57:56and as you hurtle round in a puddle of your own feces gurning like an infant the car is working on ways
00:58:06of going even faster
00:58:14let me give you an example
00:58:18the electric motor is used to fill in the little gaps when the petrol engine isn't working at its best
00:58:26like for example during gear changes or while the massive turbos are spooling up
00:58:34and what i find hysterical about that is that mclaren has taken this hybrid technology which is
00:58:42designed to reduce the impact of the internal combustion engine and is using it to increase the
00:58:49impact that's like weaponizing a wind farm or buying the rainbow warrior and turning it into an oil tanker
00:58:58for years cars have all been basically the same but this really isn't it's a game changer
00:59:12a genuinely new chapter in the history of motoring
00:59:16in a town it's as eco-friendly as a health food shop on a motorway it's comfortable and produces no more
00:59:25carbon dioxide than a family saloon and on a track it can rip a hole through time
00:59:33and it's all been achieved using something that's been around for centuries brilliant british engineering
00:59:40you could argue that it doesn't have the passion or the flair of a ferrari and i'd probably agree with
00:59:49you but look at it this way it was passion and flair that built the leaning tower of pisa
00:59:57and it was british engineering that built the plum dead straight westminster abbey
01:00:10so
01:00:20you
01:00:40Okay, but what we supposed to test that against the hybrids that Porsche and Ferrari are developing
01:00:44Yeah, but the Ferrari isn't ready. Yeah, but the Porsche is but it wasn't when I filmed that but it is now
01:00:49Yes, you'll be driving it on the show in a few weeks time. Yes, and after you've done that
01:00:53We're going to put the stig in both of them and do some time laps around our track
01:00:59Now that should be quite something I think I don't think it will be hey why not?
01:01:04Well because we're not listening to the film
01:01:07Yeah, the speed of this is beyond anything I've ever experienced. It's it's animal savagery. It's beyond belief
01:01:13Yes, yes, yes, but the Porsche might be faster. We won't be
01:01:17Yeah, but it might be nobody won't be but it might be I guarantee it won't be but it might be Hammond
01:01:25I'll do you a deal if the Porsche is faster round our track than this I will change my name
01:01:33by deed poll
01:01:35to Jennifer
01:01:38Yes, yes, and on that potential bombshell it is time to end. Thank you so much for watching. See you next week. Good night
01:01:47I
01:01:54Bringing the outside in with a graffiti art idea in the dragon's den find out if anyone parts with their money next on BBC 2
01:02:00While the musketeers face a test of loyalty and a quest for the truth when an old friend unexpectedly returns over on BBC 1
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