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00:14Music
00:29and he loves peckens and walnuts and he simply adores those little cheese
00:35footballs don't you my darling oh isn't he beautiful very attractive little
00:42fella what is it he's a little shih tzu really oh dear dear dear what breed is it well they're
00:52lapdogs aren't they a lapdog oh how hard to imagine him stalking a reindeer what major can i get you
00:59another one oh why not fine good for you mrs chase oh nothing for me thank you but prince would
01:04like
01:05a little saucer of warm milk because it's nearly our bedtime yes manuel manuel will attend to its
01:10heart's desires i'm afraid i'm lumbered with the people tonight manuel um por favor el perro
01:16microscopico oh good evening dr price good evening uh what can i get you scotch please and i suppose
01:23it's too late to get anything to eat is it i missed dinner uh what did you have in mind
01:26well i rather
01:27fancy some sausages oh i'm afraid chef would have knocked them away uh we could do sandwiches ham
01:33cheese tomato uh ham thank you right i'll just arrange it for you basil so could you make some
01:41ham sandwiches please look i'm dr price oh of course yes one moment here we are major excuse me found
01:50another draft have we we have to be very careful mr faulty he's not very strong indeed yes a rapid
01:56movement of air could damage him irreparably if um if only one could keep them in airtight containers
02:02we had to breathe would he volum well he could try major he could try anything else for you no
02:07thank
02:07you no it's a bit late we'd better get upstairs quite sorry to have kept you um doctor oh just
02:17one
02:17please my pleasure no no she was the one he had with him the third time the first one was
02:25the dowdy one
02:25then his wife then her and now this red oh yes that must have been lovely number 12 let's see
02:35thank you how very lovely yes that was them not much they get less fussy as they get older sorry
02:45about
02:46this please it couldn't matter less we're meeting in the morning anyway you've had a long journey you
02:50get a good night's sleep now you're sure you're feeling all right oh fine fine just a little oh yes
02:53of
02:54course well you get straight to bed and we'll pick you up here at 9 30. we'll have a coffee
02:58and
02:58go into the md at 10. fine thanks okay good night sleep well good night bye see you in the
03:04morning see
03:05you at 9 30. sorry harris oh no on his own again oh no i wouldn't have thought so he
03:12watches the
03:13football number eight isn't thank you are you feeling all right yeah not too good no oh dear would
03:22you like a little hot something oh no no fine thank you oh well if there's anything you need yes
03:26thank
03:26you no that wasn't him that was a new one good night i said good night oh good night didn't
03:35hurt did it
03:37good manners cost nothing no he's not feeling very well basil he only had to say good night
03:41here it's not the gettersburg address is it that's a win you're not feeling well just two little words
03:46dear to bring a little happiness into the world excuse me yes mr lehman what can i do for you
03:52do
03:52you think i might have breakfast in bed in the morning in bed yes of course mr lehman yes we
03:57can
03:57manage there can we do yes we can i'll pull you back yes is it your legs i'm sorry well
04:01most of our
04:02guests managed to struggle down in the morning i won't uh a full breakfast or the continental oh
04:08i don't know our chef does a very good full breakfast eggs bacon sausage tomato fried
04:13bread continental uh you wouldn't care for kippers oh fine kippers yes thank you taste
04:18batter marmalade yes thank you tea or coffee yes uh tea thank you a newspaper the telegraph thank
04:24you good night rosewood mahogany tea i think you're fine what would you like your breakfast tray made
04:34out of i don't really mind are you sure fine well you go along and have a really good night's
04:40sleep
04:40then i'm hoping to get a couple of hours later on myself i'll be up in good time to serve
04:43you your
04:44breakfast in bed if you can remember to sleep with your mouth open you won't even have to wake up
04:48i'll just
04:48drop in small pieces of lightly buttered kepper when you're breathing in the right direction if that
04:52doesn't put you out
04:56anything
05:00sausages please just sausages just sausages tea or coffee coffee please
05:05oh no not a saucer come on i said a bowl hey boy yes i'm not cold like that that's
05:12too cold i said
05:13tepid didn't i mas grande manuel de agua caliente ah had pneumonia after that and bring another
05:21cushion he's not quite high enough sausage is on six terry coming out another car strike would you
05:29believe it put these kippers back would you basil they ought to get buslins to run our car factories
05:33in the fridge you should have been eaten by when was the sixth oh that's all right it says on
05:38the
05:39packet sybil they're all right mr faulty for six that's just to cover them so eggs and sausages poll
05:50on the table on the table
05:57that now put that under him
06:03the cushion the cushion
06:10he bite me you frightened him okay you make sudden movements like that of course he's going to
06:16bite don't you have dogs in calcutta
06:22excuse me but i have an order for eggs and sausages for this table oh yes the sausages are for
06:28him oh
06:30what's the matter in the world he bite me cut them up cut them up into little pieces
06:43he bites polly too you see look if dogs are allowed in the dining room at least the staff
06:48should know how to handle them i'll cut them up in the kitchen little pieces
06:56get us ready he hurt your body oh what are you doing do you know when the sixth was civil
07:02will you
07:02just take it upstairs they're all right mr foley you're supposed to be that basil will you just
07:08take it up what's the matter man that hairy mosquito just bit us what it's not right in dining room
07:13like that well she pays extra for the dog man well you see basil it's after eight poisoning is still
07:17an
07:17offense in this country you know sir oh do get a move on we've got a busy day i've got
07:21the laundry
07:22men the laundry man my god a woman's work is never delegated what are you doing polly just preparing
07:29some sausages bangers a la bang good morning breakfast breakfast
07:47here we are another car strike marvelous isn't it taxpayers pay millions each year they get the
07:52money go on strike it's called socialism i mean if they don't like making cars why don't they get
07:57themselves another bloody job designing cathedrals or composing violin concertos the british lane and
08:02concerto in four movements all of them slow with a four-hour tea break in between i'll tell you why
08:07because they're not interested in anything except lounging them out and conveyor belts stuffing
08:10themselves with my money you don't mind if i turn the light off well enjoy your breakfast
08:17i'm sorry i didn't catch that oh not at all thank you for mentioning it
08:25unbelievable unbelievable not a single lucky word
08:30yeah that's 5 30 in the morning so they can lounge around in bed till midday did you get so
08:34much as
08:34a word of thanks what's that forgot the milk well don't get talking to him you never get away
08:39would you believe it i get him his breakfast i take it all the way upstairs i lay it in
08:43front of
08:43him hand him his newspaper i tidy the room draw the curtain guess what he says
08:49i said guess what he says nothing your friend the one in eight nothing not a word
08:58are you listening hello can hello can anybody hear me have i ceased to exist have i suddenly become
09:03invisible civil civil civil civil can you see me no oh good will i go and lie down there no
09:09i won't
09:09i'll go and hit some guests
09:18dr price's sausages
09:23what is he polly he's dead dead who number eight but basil just took him his breakfast he's cold oh
09:33no
09:37what's the matter with that dog he is dead well he's certainly struggling for life at the moment
09:44dead dog in the breakfast from me egon roney knock off the staff at that no no mr lehman dead
09:50well that would explain a lot no mr really paul just said so what are you on about i just
09:57took him
09:57his kippers oh my god
10:07i just put the milk down on the clay but i leave what are you doing what are you doing
10:13i told her i
10:13told her the six week you get 20 years for this what the kid was that kid was only
10:18mr faulty he's been dead for hours mr faulty he's cold he's been dead for hours he must have died
10:25in
10:25his sleep mr faulty what what he hasn't touched those kippers well look feel him what feel him
10:39he's stone cold yes oh joy oh thank you oh isn't it wonderful i'm so happy hooray
10:57i'll ask you a bit stuffy isn't it i'll open a window who uh who found the body polly did
11:06i was bringing him up the milk and we'd forgotten it you brought the milk with the breakfast no the
11:12breakfast was already up well who brought the breakfast who found it
11:22oh what's that um that's a bit of it a bit of the breakfast
11:29you brought him his breakfast yes so you told how he was dead yes well then why did you bring
11:37him
11:39why did you bring in the milk then why yes why well when he said mr lehman was dead
11:47i thought he said he's still in bed well he didn't exactly say he was dead well i said he
11:51was
11:51pretty quiet quiet exactly what were you talking to him about basil car strikes was it thank you
11:58civil i don't understand he's been dead for about 10 hours this is so final isn't it well wouldn't you
12:04say it was final dear i'd say it was pretty bloody final do you mean to tell me you didn't
12:08realize this
12:09man was dead people don't talk that much in the morning oh look i'm just delivering a tray right
12:12if the guest isn't singing oh what a beautiful morning i don't immediately think oh there's
12:16another one snuffed it in the night another name in the faulty tower's book of remembrance i mean this
12:20is a hotel not a burma railway yes but i mean he does actually say hotel outside you i mean
12:25perhaps
12:25i should be more specific hotel for people who have a better than 50 chance of making it through the
12:30night
12:31what do you what are you looking at me like that for
12:38basil there's a keeper sticking out of your junk
12:44oh there it is i've been looking for that that's the other one
12:48we'll be downstairs doctor shall i ring the undertaker would you polly i've been up since 5 30 you know
12:57he was leaving today some people are coming at lunch time well we'll put him in another room
13:01we're full tonight oh do put that away
13:05get the body into the office until the undertaker's come now when doctor's finished
13:14what are you doing making up his bill who are you going to give it to we'll leave it in
13:18his
13:18wallet they're bound to look there better not charging for breakfast mr simpkins faulty towers here
13:26i'm afraid somebody's died during the night when could you collect the body somebody anybody really
13:32good morning good morning good morning oh you're very careful this morning mr faulty yes well what
13:37are the guests that just died you are wicked manuel manuel manuel we go and get the body
13:50yes if you can oh would it would it be all right thank you
13:56please the phone please i have to call the coroner the coroner i can't give him his death
14:00certificate i'm not his doctor i have to report his death to the coroner oh i see of course do
14:04come this way doctor oh clear oh clear good morning then well oh good morning oh it's all right
14:16leave it no leave it it's heavy oh no it's quite all right put them like that no no don't
14:19bother we
14:19can manage oh just don't bother no no leave it alone i know if i just fold them like this
14:23yes go away
14:24move move move move move move move move move move i'll do it miss tib no it's all right
14:29ah he's dead
14:32it's all right shut up shut up oh my god
14:38slap her slap her what she's hysterical slap her murder
14:46oh spiffing absolutely spiffing well done two dead 25 to go
15:01i just dropped my ring oh there it is oh sorry i'm in your way that's quite all right
15:11oh is this your room yes it's lovely isn't it yes
15:17yes did you enjoy your breakfast oh yes thank you yes uh excuse us do you think we could just
15:22go
15:22inside and get out not really pardon well it's been cleaned mr faulty's doing it but we want to
15:29get our thing yes we're going out you see oh well it'll only take a couple of minutes oh i'm
15:33sorry
15:33we're a little late excuse me excuse me mr faulty mr faulty mr faulty mr and mrs white want to
15:43come
15:43into their room wait a minute hello oh uh can we come in um i was just explaining that you
15:57were doing
15:57the wrong yes won't be five minutes well couldn't you do it later uh pick that ass strap will you
16:04man
16:04well please the big one um could you could we do it later when we've got our things well it'll
16:09only be
16:09a couple of minutes look faulty we want our things oh right yes thank you so much
16:17he's locked it oh well that's just a precaution
16:21have you locked this only slightly
16:26will you let us in
16:31now get the coats get the coats
16:35what's going on well he's a bit of a perfectionist
16:42ready what's been going on in here well we tried uh rearranging the furniture but it
16:47didn't really work that man well has your coats
16:55it's all right he's from barcelona
16:58what's that noise oh it's just my back no no that morning oh oh yes that's all no no it's
17:05coming
17:06from the cupboard well we'll get some oil and have a nice day is someone in there what yes listen
17:11no
17:11no no no no no no good lord sir there is good idea right well um well go on yes
17:19we're going to
17:19it's the next thing on the list oh um if you do get a chance to visit the museum open
17:23it now will
17:24you oh all right yes right oh it's locked oh damn where's the key yes sir where is the key
17:31do you have
17:43oh well done man well thank you very much thank you right well we've got it now all right all
17:47right
17:47i will i will i will
17:58now i've warned you about this before you can hide in your own cover but not in other people's
18:02i'm sorry about this you can't really blame her she doesn't have much in her life she has to make
18:06her own entertainment she has trouble with her arm that's why she goes in the cupboard exactly are
18:11you feeling better her arm gets stuck there it's always happening to him he's dead yes this is
18:17her husband she hasn't got over it died 30 years ago she doesn't mean any arm in the cupboard no
18:24more today you've had enough oh my god you're gonna look
18:40thank you thank you thank you thank you that's enough anything else we can do for you
18:49what was so horrible mrs faulty you've no idea oh i know it was pitch black in there
18:56and that thing with its hand oh i know now you have a little rest and try to think of
19:04something else
19:05but anything could have happened well he was dead dear a man is a man mrs faulty
19:11oh i know i should speak to him about it speak to him to mr faulty where his oldest residence
19:18well
19:18have a little rest first frightening me like that i shall speak to him have a word with him in
19:24a little
19:24while when you're feeling better i see yes thank you it's all right dear they've got rooms at the sea
19:31view tonight yes well let's have a look at it yes and if that's no good we'll try the one
19:36up by the
19:37prophylactic emporium
19:40okay
19:52oh hello major hey any sign of the papers you've got it major have i oh yes sure i have
20:00oh i say i say but he doesn't look he doesn't look quite the ticket major um don't say anything
20:07to
20:07anybody but he's dead ah shot was he no no died in his sleep in his sleep oh well you're
20:16off your guard
20:16you see yes yes the old faulty i shouldn't uh let him lie around here you know no no no
20:22the
20:22undertakers are coming to get him ah because they attract the flies you see
20:29look i've been waiting in there what i haven't had any breakfast yet oh uh right sorry uh coming
20:35coming it's only sausages
20:42mr faulty mr faulty i want a word will you please
20:53sorry about the delay doctor normal service has been resumed as soon as possible
20:59more coffee
21:02tea tea i'll turn the radio there
21:11oh
21:14miss dibs oh no would you believe it what did you put him there for well he wouldn't fit the
21:19safe and all the drawers were full come on
21:23isn't it our guests they could have trouble even when they're dead
21:27where are you taking him kitchen
21:32holly
21:58oh
21:58oh dear well don't just stand there call a vet right
22:08oh
22:15sorry about them a bit overdone i'm afraid send them down the crematorium
22:19what's in the oh you can't give a dead body in here with us food can't we of course not
22:25oh right
22:33oh
22:34oh
22:36oh
22:38oh
22:39oh
22:39oh
22:39oh
22:39oh
22:39oh
22:40oh
22:40oh
22:47oh
22:47oh
22:48oh
22:48oh
22:48oh
22:49oh
22:49oh
22:49oh
22:49oh
23:01oh
23:02oh
23:03oh
23:04oh
23:04oh
23:05oh
23:11oh
23:21oh
23:21oh
23:28oh
23:30oh
23:32oh
23:33oh
23:42oh
23:46oh
23:46oh
23:46oh
23:46oh
23:51Is everything all right?
23:53He wants to eat now.
23:54I've been trying to sit down.
23:55He keeps moving things from my table.
23:56I'm so sorry.
23:57He doesn't seem to understand that I haven't finished breakfast.
23:59Randwell.
24:02Randwell, let me explain.
24:04Ah!
24:07Do you understand?
24:08Look, I'll be ready in just a couple of minutes.
24:13There we are, Mr. Ingrams.
24:14Number eight.
24:15Top of the stairs on the right.
24:17Excuse me not coming up with you.
24:18One of our guests has been taken ill.
24:27Ah, excuse me.
24:29In the office.
24:30Excuse me.
24:31Yes?
24:32We have an appointment with Mr. Lehman.
24:36Do you know where he is?
24:37Where he is?
24:39Um...
24:43Would he be in the dining room?
24:46Might he be in his room?
24:47Let me think.
24:48Um, where...
24:49Where is...
24:52We've come to collect him.
24:54Well, as we're taking him to...
24:56We've come to collect him.
24:58Oh, you've come to collect him.
25:00Oh, I'm sorry.
25:01I didn't realise.
25:03Modern dress.
25:04What?
25:05Your dress is very modern.
25:08I didn't realise women did it.
25:11Did what?
25:13Oh, he's downstairs.
25:15No, no.
25:16In the basket.
25:17I beg your pardon.
25:20He's in the basket.
25:21In the basket?
25:22Yes.
25:23Hello.
25:24What's...
25:25Hmm?
25:26What's he doing in the basket?
25:30Oh, not much.
25:33What are you talking about?
25:35Don't you believe...
25:36Look, look.
25:46Oh, my God, he's gone.
25:47Where is he?
25:49Fresh laundry.
25:50They've taken him.
25:52Oh!
25:54Oh!
25:55Oh!
25:56Oh!
25:57Oh!
26:04Basil!
26:07If you could just hang on a couple of minutes, sorry to keep your...
26:12Oh, it's all right.
26:14It's all right.
26:15We sorted it out.
26:17He's in this one.
26:18Oh.
26:19The doctor didn't want him in the kitchen, so we put him in the basket.
26:23It's more hygienic.
26:28yes you do work here yes well we'd like to speak to the manager well I'm the
26:33manager is there a problem well he is really no and there seems to be some
26:40kind of misunderstanding here we've come to collect one of your guests mr.
26:45Lehman to take him into town for a meeting meeting yes a meeting with our
26:50managing director oh I see miss mr. Lehman yes we thought you said brilliant sorry
27:01sorry sorry to keep you hello my sweet what you doing well it's a bit involved
27:07here but we thought that these gentlemen thought that we thought that they were
27:12coming for mr. Lehman and we thought that they were coming to collect the linen
27:16mr. Lehman yes so if you just sort that one out there I'll take the linen upstairs
27:21okay I see thank you
27:23so not at all
27:24no
27:28would you mind coming into the office for a moment
27:37another one foldy no no same one major
27:44oh
27:45oh
27:46sorry sorry
28:00come on
28:14I can't leave come on come on I'm not too tired somebody coming mr.
28:19faulty I know want to work here anymore open the basket
28:22open the basket
28:27now inside
28:30not you I quit get out I'll strike I'm warning you I stay here is nice
28:36you see this you're next
28:40really I'm so sorry thank you thank you
28:44goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye yes could I get my hat
28:54your hat yes it's just there yes I'll have it sent on
29:02well could I just get it well do you have to have it now yes
29:09suppose if you lose it I mean it's windy today I'd like to have it
29:14oh right
29:16man well man well
29:19he's in the basket man would you get man well out of the basket please
29:23man well yes come on girl come on what's the matter
29:25he isn't in there yes he is
29:27he isn't he is look for him
29:30oh sorry
29:31you big scum
29:34see
29:37man well would you get this gentleman in his house please
29:39where there on the rack
29:42sorry what color was it
29:43brown brown no that's not it
29:45no thank you
29:47Mr. Fawlty I want a word with you in your office yes when would be convenient for you
29:51I'm 79
29:53what on earth is going on here oh sorry about the idea down he got a bit caught
29:57my baby my baby's down they poisoned him
30:00your baby
30:01Sybil
30:02he said he'd call for a vet
30:03a vet
30:04Sybil
30:05I've just cooked these sausages myself and they're off
30:07they should have been eaten by the fur
30:09ah there you are dear you do look nice
30:12ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen
30:14Lord is ready
30:16ladies and gentlemen there have been a lot of cock-ups this morning
30:18you all deserve an explanation and I'm happy to say
30:21that my wife will give it to you thank you thank you sir
30:23ladies and gentlemen
30:24gentlemen
30:34What's going on, old boy?
30:37Basil!
30:38Basil!
30:41Basil!
30:42Basil!
30:43Basil!
30:43Basil!
30:44Basil!
30:45Basil!
30:55Basil!
30:57Basil!
31:00Basil!
31:03Basil!
31:05Basil!
31:08Basil!
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