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*Fawlty Towers* is a classic British comedy set in a chaotic seaside hotel run by the short-tempered and socially awkward Basil Fawlty, played by John Cleese. Alongside his domineering wife Sybil Fawlty, the sensible maid Polly Sherman, and the hapless waiter Manuel, Basil constantly finds himself in absurd situations of his own making.
Across its two short seasons (1975 and 1979), the show delivers tightly written episodes filled with misunderstandings, farce, and escalating chaos—from dealing with difficult guests to famously disastrous events like the hotel inspection and the arrival of German tourists. Despite having only 12 episodes in total, *Fawlty Towers* is widely regarded as one of the greatest sitcoms ever made, known for its sharp writing, unforgettable characters, and relentless comedic timing.
*Fawlty Towers* is a classic British comedy set in a chaotic seaside hotel run by the short-tempered and socially awkward Basil Fawlty, played by John Cleese. Alongside his domineering wife Sybil Fawlty, the sensible maid Polly Sherman, and the hapless waiter Manuel, Basil constantly finds himself in absurd situations of his own making.
Across its two short seasons (1975 and 1979), the show delivers tightly written episodes filled with misunderstandings, farce, and escalating chaos—from dealing with difficult guests to famously disastrous events like the hotel inspection and the arrival of German tourists. Despite having only 12 episodes in total, *Fawlty Towers* is widely regarded as one of the greatest sitcoms ever made, known for its sharp writing, unforgettable characters, and relentless comedic timing.
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00:01Music
00:26Sorry, I forgot my keys.
00:28Oh, thanks.
00:30PHONE RINGS
00:32Hello?
00:33Fawlty Towers?
00:35Yes?
00:36Yes?
00:38No, this afternoon.
00:39That'd be fine.
00:41No, it's 16, Elwood Avenue.
00:4416?
00:45That's it.
00:47I can't put these outside, though, shall I, dear?
00:49Polly, this is where we'll be if you need us.
00:52There's the number.
00:53So if Mr Stubbs wants to know anything, when he comes, just ring.
00:55But don't if you don't have to, love.
00:57It's the first weekend we've had off since Audrey had her hysterectomy.
01:00Don't worry.
01:01I know what they've got to do.
01:02Oh, somebody called about a garden gnome.
01:04Oh, yes.
01:05Well, it's in and they're going to deliver it this afternoon.
01:07Oh, good.
01:08Um, golf shoes.
01:10Good morning, Major.
01:12Very well, thank you.
01:15Now, does everyone know about dinner tonight?
01:17I think so.
01:18But you'll be able to manage breakfast tomorrow, will you?
01:20Oh, it's just the ladies in the major.
01:21Where are those shoes?
01:23One moment, please.
01:24I will get your bill.
01:25Get your bill.
01:30Get, get, go, go.
01:32Get, get, go, go.
01:33That's it.
01:33I will get your bill.
01:36Holly, oh, Manuel, put those in the case.
01:38You, uh, will you come and miss me?
01:40Oh, now, Manuel, while we're away.
01:42One moment, please.
01:43I will get your bill.
01:45What?
01:46I will get your bill, see?
01:47What are you talking about?
01:48Hey, listen, no, please.
01:49Today, we have beef bill orthodoxes.
01:53This is what?
01:54Uh, bankers.
01:55Look, shut up.
01:56Eh?
01:56Shut up.
01:57Oh, si, si, shut up.
01:58Yes, I understand.
01:59Well, will you please shut up, then?
02:00Si, si, I shut up.
02:01Now, while we're away.
02:02Shut up.
02:02Shut up!
02:03Now, while we're away, gone, clean the windows.
02:08Oh, look.
02:09Look, cuando nosotros somos, uh, away.
02:11What's away in Spanish?
02:12Huh?
02:12You know, away.
02:13Away.
02:14Oh, si, si.
02:14No, no, not you.
02:15While we're away, clean the windows.
02:19Green.
02:19No, no, look.
02:21Clean the windows.
02:23Clean.
02:24Clean.
02:24The windows.
02:27Ah!
02:27I think it was.
02:30Morning, Fongy.
02:31Morning, Major.
02:31The windows, see.
02:32Look, it's clean.
02:33Oh, the windows.
02:34Come back, come back, come back.
02:34Come back, come back, come back.
02:36Oh, Mr. Forty.
02:37Ah, good morning, ladies.
02:38Ursula and I think you're a very naughty boy, don't we, Ursula?
02:42Oh, God.
02:43Oh, really?
02:44Going away for the weekend and leaving us all alone.
02:47Ah, yes.
02:48Ah, but we know where you're going.
02:50The cat's out of the bag.
02:52You and your wife?
02:53Well, it's only Penton.
02:55Ah, we'll have a lovely time.
02:57It'll do you good.
02:58You need to get away from things.
03:01Yes, well, we're going together.
03:02And don't you worry about us.
03:05Oh, all right.
03:06Now, you know the mayor are coming to do some work here?
03:08Oh, yes.
03:08So you have to go to Glen Eagle's for your ding-dins tonight?
03:11Yes.
03:12Yes, and Polly will be in charge if you need anything.
03:14Oh, have a lovely weekend.
03:16And don't do anything we wouldn't do.
03:19No, just a little breathing, surely.
03:20Oh, well, I must buzz off now.
03:23A buzz?
03:24Yes, you know, Abita.
03:25Have a baby mumble.
03:26Oh, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
03:29Polly, I have asked you, please, not to leave your strange drawings lying around the place.
03:33I mean, I'm sorry, but what is this supposed to be?
03:35Oh, it's just a sketch.
03:36I mean, what is it?
03:37What are you trying to do?
03:38This is a junkyard, isn't it?
03:39Oh, can I have it?
03:40Why has it got a collar and tie under it?
03:41Well, it's not finished.
03:42It's very good, you know.
03:43Old soup tins, broken down card, dustbins, mattresses, hoovers,
03:47and a nice smart collar and tie underneath.
03:49I mean, what's it supposed to be?
03:50It's not important.
03:51Can I have it back?
03:51It's irritating.
03:53I mean, do you ever sell any of those?
03:54I sell a few portraits now and again, thank you.
03:56Sure.
03:57Haven't much hope for this one.
03:58Would you give me that stapler, please?
04:00I mean, what is the point of something like that?
04:01No point.
04:02No point?
04:03What's the point of being alive?
04:07You don't go on at me.
04:09The stapler!
04:12Sorry.
04:12I mean, what's the matter with you today?
04:14I didn't get much sleep last night.
04:16We are leaving you in charge.
04:17I didn't do it to spite you, I promise.
04:19Oh, good.
04:19Well, you won't feel so tired, then, will you?
04:21Baldy Towers.
04:23Basil.
04:24Who is it?
04:25It's Mr. O'Reilly, Basil.
04:27It's odd.
04:28Must be about the garden wall.
04:29Hello, O'Reilly?
04:31Now, look.
04:31When are you coming to finish our garden wall?
04:33We are sick and tired of having their pile of bricks blocking the list,
04:35and I told you not to call.
04:36Well, you know, my wife thinks Stubbs is doing the doors.
04:39Well, what time will they be here, then?
04:41All right, four o'clock.
04:42Now, listen.
04:42If there's any problems, tell your men to get Polly to call me.
04:45You understand?
04:45So, next week's definite, then, is it?
04:48Oh, good.
04:48Well, that'll be nice, won't it?
04:49I mean, we waited for that wall about as long as Hadrian.
04:53No, no.
04:54Hadrian.
04:54The Emperor Hadrian.
04:56He had a walk.
04:56It doesn't matter.
04:57I'll explain next week.
04:58Thank you so much.
04:58Goodbye.
05:00You don't really believe all that, do you, Basil?
05:01We've been waiting four months.
05:02Why should you do it now?
05:03Oh, I think you will this time, dear.
05:05If you'd used Stubbs...
05:06We'd have a huge bill.
05:07Look, you get what you pay for.
05:09O'Reilly's a cut-price cock-up artist.
05:11Oh, Sybil!
05:12Stubbs, you may pay a little more.
05:13A little more?
05:14Yes, a little, but he does a really professional job,
05:16and he does it when he says he will.
05:19You'll see.
05:20When's he coming?
05:22Oh, about four o'clock, I think, dear.
05:24And you're going to wear that jacket, are you?
05:26Yes, I am, thank you, dear.
05:27Yes.
05:28You just haven't a clue, have you?
05:29You wouldn't understand, dear.
05:30It's called style.
05:33Yoo-hoo!
05:35They're here, Basil.
05:36How fabulous.
05:38Do try to be agreeable this weekend, Basil.
05:41Now, have I got everything?
05:42Handbag?
05:43Knock with dusters?
05:44Flick knife?
05:45Come on, Basil.
05:46Don't hang up there.
05:47I'm just coming, dear.
05:49Quick, Polly.
05:52Now, Polly, the men will be here at four o'clock.
05:54You know what they're doing?
05:54Well, they're footing the door through to the kitchen.
05:56Now, at the bottom of the stairs, and?
05:57And?
05:58And blocking the drawing room door.
05:59Blocking it?
06:00Just blocking it off, girls.
06:01We're going to have a privacy away from the plebs.
06:02Don't you take anything in?
06:03Where's my camera?
06:04Oh, and one other thing.
06:05When the men come, there won't be Stubbs'ers,
06:07there'll be O'Reilly's.
06:08Where is it?
06:08What?
06:09O'Reilly?
06:10Yes, yes.
06:11What, is Mrs Fortino?
06:12I don't know.
06:13I wouldn't mention it, though.
06:14They don't quite hit it off together.
06:15Look, I have to change it.
06:16Stubbs has got a virus or something.
06:17Well, she said you were never using him again.
06:19I don't want to be responsible.
06:19Look, he's sending his best men.
06:20All you have to do is take a quick look when they finish.
06:22All right?
06:22Any problems, call me.
06:23Right?
06:24Have a nice weekend.
06:24Goodbye.
06:25If she asks me, I'll tell her.
06:27Oh, thank you.
06:28Thank you, Polly, so much.
06:29Yes, I've always been a great admirer of Paul.
06:34I forget.
06:35Oh, it doesn't matter, Manuel.
06:37Huh?
06:37De Nardla.
06:38Oh.
06:38Uh.
06:45Oh, it's Mr. Fawlty.
06:47Shh.
06:49Windows, por favor.
06:57Polly, it's finished.
06:58I'm tired.
06:59Oh, that's wonderful, Manuel.
07:00Just hold it a second.
07:01¿Qué?
07:03¿A qué eres subir un paro de miel?
07:05Oh, no, no, no, please.
07:05You must speak me English.
07:06It's good.
07:06I learn.
07:07I want to go upstairs in a moment.
07:10Eh, ¿qué?
07:11I go upstairs.
07:13Ah, sí, easy, easy.
07:15For a little sleep.
07:16It's difficult.
07:17For siesta.
07:19Siesta?
07:19A little sleep.
07:20Yes.
07:21Oh, same in Spanish.
07:22When O'Reilly's men come, you must wake me.
07:25Bueno, reblis, men.
07:26Oh, sí, sí.
07:27No, ma'am, well, listen.
07:28When men come here, Senor O'Reilly.
07:31Ah, when men come?
07:32You come, you come upstairs and wake me up.
07:34Eh.
07:36Dispírteme.
07:37Ah, sí.
07:37When men come, I subiré a tu cuarto a despertarte.
07:40Antes que empiezo a trabajar aquí, ¿sí?
07:42Comprendo, comprendo.
07:43Finished.
07:44Eh?
07:44Oh, good.
07:52Manuel!
07:58Manuel Towers, how are you?
08:00It's nice today.
08:02Good.
08:02Goodbye.
08:09Oh, good day.
08:10Hello.
08:11How are you?
08:13Number 16.
08:14Si, 16, but no eat.
08:16What?
08:1716 is free, but not possible.
08:19Is this number 16?
08:21No, no, this lobby, 16 upstairs on the right.
08:25Who's in charge here?
08:26No, no, charge later after sleeping.
08:29Where's the boss?
08:30Eh, boss is, eh...
08:32Oh, I boss.
08:34No, no, no, no, where's the real boss?
08:37Que?
08:38The, the, the generalissimo.
08:42Madrid.
08:44Look, just sewing this, will you?
08:47Si, si, si, si.
08:48Eh, 16.
08:50What?
08:50You want room 16?
08:51No, I don't want a room, mate.
08:54I'm just leaving him, right?
08:56You want room 16 for him?
08:59Yeah, with a bath.
09:01You dago twit.
09:02You mad, you mad.
09:04You pay for room first.
09:05You're crazy.
09:06For room 16, no room 16, no, no pay, no room 16.
09:09Ah, ah, ah.
09:12Ah.
09:13Eh.
09:15Eh.
09:16Fawlty Towers, how are you?
09:18Nice day?
09:19What?
09:20Eh, no.
09:20No, no, no.
09:21He not here.
09:22He not here.
09:22Very, very sorry.
09:23Eh, goodbye.
09:23Goodbye.
09:24Oh.
09:26Ah.
09:27Hello, men.
09:28Good day, now.
09:30Eh, you are men.
09:31You what?
09:32You are men.
09:33Are you trying to be funny?
09:35Huh?
09:35I said, are you trying to be funny?
09:37Not here, but not here.
09:38You are men with orally.
09:39What?
09:40You orally men.
09:41What does that mean?
09:42You orally.
09:42You watch it.
09:43We're orally.
09:44What's he going on about?
09:45He means orally.
09:47What?
09:48Oh.
09:49Yes, that's right, yes.
09:51We are orally men.
09:54Think he's a plank.
09:55Eh, you wait here, please.
09:57I go, you wait.
09:58Eh, eh, eh, you wait too, please.
10:13Polly, Polly, Polly.
10:16Polly.
10:17Shh.
10:29Hello, Fawlty Towers.
10:30How are you?
10:31It's a nice day.
10:32Oh, you again.
10:33No, I say he's not here.
10:34He's not here.
10:35Very, very sorry.
10:36Goodbye.
10:37Oh, oh, wicked.
10:39Eh, you men know what to do?
10:41Oh, I think so.
10:42This is the, uh, dining room.
10:44You are certain you know?
10:45It looks pretty straightforward.
10:46We've just got to block this one off.
10:49Yes, yes, yes.
10:51Oh, you again.
10:52Now, listen.
10:52He's not here.
10:53How many times?
10:54Where are your ears, you great big halfwit?
10:57He's not here.
10:59Listen.
11:01Now we want to stand.
11:02Now we want to stand.
11:04He...
11:05Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Fawlty.
11:09I'm very sorry.
11:10Very sorry.
11:11It's you.
11:12Yes, it's me, Mr. Fawlty.
11:14Eh, Polly.
11:15No, no.
11:15She's very busy.
11:17Eh, men.
11:18Yes, men are here.
11:19Eh, men are work.
11:20You work, men.
11:21Yes.
11:22Which, ah, yes.
11:25Man with beer.
11:25Eh, please.
11:26Which one is man with beer?
11:29Eh, ghi.
11:30Eh, si, si.
11:31Ghi.
11:32Ag.
11:33Oh, ang, ang.
11:33Si, si, comprando.
11:34Si.
11:35One moment, please.
11:37Eh, you are a ghi-dius orang-utang.
11:42Thank you very much.
11:46Thank you very much.
12:11Aye!
12:25Aye!
12:28Aye!
12:43Polly!
12:45Manuel!
12:53Polly!
12:53What have you done with my hotel? Polly!
12:56What have you done to my hotel?
12:57What?
12:57Look!
12:58Oh, it's nice! I like it there!
13:00Ouch!
13:01You're hurting me!
13:02What have you done with my dining room door? Where is it?
13:03I don't know!
13:04Why don't you know? I left you in charge!
13:06Well, I fell asleep!
13:07You fell asleep?
13:08Well, it's not my fault!
13:09You fell asleep and it's not your fault!
13:11He forgot to wake me!
13:12Who forgot to wake you?
13:13It is my fault!
13:14Manuel! I knew it! Manuel!
13:16Don't blame him!
13:17Why not?
13:17It's not really his fault!
13:19Well, whose fault is it then, you clothiered binked Dennis Comptons?
13:24Well, you hired O'Reilly, didn't you?
13:26I mean, we all warned you. Who else would do something like this?
13:28I beg your pardon?
13:30You hired O'Reilly!
13:32Oh, I see it's my fault, is it?
13:34Oh, of course! There I am!
13:36I was thinking it was your fault because you've been left in charge,
13:38or Manuel's fault for not waking you, and all the time it was my fault!
13:42Oh, it's so obvious now! I've seen the light!
13:45Well, I must be punished then, mustn't I?
13:47You're a naughty boy!
13:49I told her!
13:50Don't do it!
13:51What am I going to do?
13:52Oh, she's going to be back at lunchtime!
13:54I cannot wait!
13:55Look, I'm a dead man! Do you realise?
13:58Easy!
13:58Your dead tomb are all dead!
14:00Don't panic!
14:01What else is there to do?
14:04You?
14:08For all us!
14:08We want to pull our fire!
14:10You've made us massive!
14:11You can't pull our fire up!
14:13You can't pull our fire up!
14:14You can't pull our fire up!
14:14Oh, just pull our fire up!
14:16You can't do that!
14:17Come on!
14:21Again!
14:24Higher!
14:27Right, I'll call O'Reilly.
14:31What is this? I mean, what is this doing?
14:33What is going on here?
14:35Your wife ought to call O'Reilly.
14:37That golfing puffer!
14:39Call O'Reilly!
14:42What?
14:43Shall I call him?
14:43No, no, I'll do it. I'll call him.
14:45You go and see if that roof's still on.
14:54What are you doing? Stay there!
14:55You can't do that now!
14:57You'll see if they've started breakfast!
15:00Now!
15:04Ah, hello, Mr O'Reilly.
15:06How are you this morning?
15:08Oh, good, good.
15:09No rare diseases or anything.
15:12Oh, I do beg your pardon.
15:13Basil Forty, you remember?
15:14The poor sod you do jobs for?
15:17Well, then, how are things your end?
15:19Oh, good.
15:22Good, good, good.
15:23Well, then, how would you like to hear about things my end?
15:27Oh, well, up to your usual standard, I think I could say.
15:30A few holes in the floor, the odd door missing,
15:33but nothing you can't be sued for.
15:34Good morning!
15:37I beg your pardon?
15:38Good morning!
15:39One moment, please.
15:42What did you say good morning?
15:44Si!
15:45I see.
15:47Well, what are you going to do now?
15:48Eh?
15:49What you do now?
15:51I saw breakfast!
15:52Ah, well, let's see you then.
15:55Si.
15:59Where is door?
16:02Door is gone!
16:04Door, door was here!
16:05Where, um...
16:07Shit!
16:09Good morning, Major.
16:10Oh, good morning, Major.
16:11I'm so sorry.
16:12I'm afraid the dining room door seems to have disappeared.
16:14Oh, yes.
16:16Oh, yes, so it has.
16:17It used to be that.
16:18Yes, well, I was silly enough to leave the hotel for a few minutes.
16:20Yes, well, these things happen, you know.
16:23Now I wonder where it's got to.
16:25Oh, well, don't worry, it's bound to turn up.
16:28Oh, oh, have the newspapers arrived yet?
16:30Eh, not yet, no, Major.
16:31And, well, will you please show the Major how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
16:37Oh, yes, yes, of course.
16:40Come here.
16:40Come on, watch your name.
16:44Now, look here, everybody.
16:45I want my dining room door put back in.
16:47No, it's not the one taken away by one o'clock.
16:48Do you understand?
16:49No, no, no, I don't want to debate about it.
16:51If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert
16:54a large garden gnome in you.
16:55Good day.
16:59I'm sorry, Mr. Fawlty, but my men just won't work on a Sunday and that's the way it is.
17:04There's nothing I can do about it.
17:05Well, how long is it going to take you?
17:06Well, I'm working as fast as I can.
17:08Well, I'd rather be fast enough.
17:09I mean, she is here in four hours.
17:11Tia.
17:12What?
17:13Fruit of a couple, friend girl.
17:14Oh, lovely.
17:14He hasn't got time to drink that now.
17:16Biscuit?
17:16Oh, these look good.
17:17Give them to me.
17:17Now, will you get on with it?
17:18Look, look, look.
17:19This lot here, an hour and a half.
17:21This one, easy.
17:22Lick a paint, lick a paint, lick a paint one hour.
17:25Erm, what time is it now?
17:27Ten to nine.
17:27All right.
17:28Ten to nine and two and a half hours is plenty of time.
17:31Give us a visit.
17:31No, no.
17:31You can have one when you've done the door.
17:32Polly, take them away.
17:33You can have that when you've finished the door, too.
17:35The trouble with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you're worried too much.
17:38You keep it up like this and you'll have a stroke before you're fifty.
17:42Stone dead, you'll be.
17:43Suits me.
17:44That's a dreadful thing to say.
17:45Get a bit of peace.
17:47Don't be so morbid.
17:48The good Lord made the world so that we could all enjoy ourselves.
17:51Look, my wife enjoys herself.
17:53I worry.
17:53Well, let me tell you, if the good Lord meant us to worry,
17:57he would have given us things to worry about.
17:59He has.
18:00My wife.
18:01She will be back here in four hours and she can kill a man at ten paces
18:04with one blow off her tongue.
18:07How am I supposed not to worry?
18:08Just remember, Mr. Fawlty, there's always someone worse off than yourself.
18:12Is there?
18:13Well, I'd like to meet him.
18:14I could do with a laugh.
18:15You'll just have to worry for the both of us.
18:17I'm telling you, if the good Lord...
18:18He's mentioned once more, I shall move you closer to him.
18:21Now, please!
18:23Mr. Fawlty, she's here.
18:24What?
18:25She's here.
18:25Oh, God.
18:34What?
18:39I'll try and get rid of a hide!
18:41Where?
18:41In there!
18:41In there!
18:42I'll try and stall!
18:43Oh, God!
18:44Help me!
18:45Hello, Sybil!
18:46Hello, Basil.
18:48Well, you finished your girls earlier.
18:50We haven't started yet, Basil.
18:52Ah.
18:52Where are you going, dear?
18:53Up these steps.
18:54Oh, don't, dear.
18:54It's such a lovely day.
18:55Let's go for a walk.
18:56We haven't done that for years.
18:58Oh, Sybil!
18:58I nearly forgot.
18:59You're not gonna believe this.
19:00Let me show you.
19:01There.
19:03Look at that.
19:05There are stubs for you.
19:07Cool.
19:08Mind you, I warned you, but still, a reputable builder like that.
19:11Tsk.
19:11Tsk.
19:12Tsk.
19:14Tsk.
19:15Stubs.
19:16Good.
19:17Wicked.
19:18Tsk.
19:19Where's O'Reilly, Basil?
19:21Tsk.
19:21Tsk.
19:23Tsk.
19:24Tsk.
19:24Tsk.
19:26Hm?
19:28Where's O'Reilly?
19:30O'Reilly?
19:31Yes, O'Reilly.
19:33Sybil, you never cease to...
19:35I mean, just because of this, you automatically assume it has to be O'Reilly, right?
19:39I mean, you just assume that I have been lying all along, right?
19:42I mean, why O'Reilly?
19:44Because his van's outside.
19:47Well, he's here now.
19:48Of course he's here now.
19:49He's gonna clear up this mess that your stubs has made.
19:51That's why his van's outside.
19:53On a Sunday.
19:54I mean, that's what I call service.
19:56I agree.
19:57You do?
19:58Yes.
19:58But if Stubs has made this mess, then I think they should come and clear it up.
20:02Well, yes, but I mean, there's no point now that O'Reilly's here, dear.
20:04I mean, we want it done straight away.
20:05Yeah, well, there's no point in paying money to Mr. O'Reilly when Mr. Stubs would have
20:08to do it for free.
20:09I'll call him now.
20:10Well, he won't be there on a Sunday, dear.
20:11Well, then I'll call him at home.
20:12Ooh!
20:15Oh!
20:15I'm getting a bit of a chip from the old lake this morning.
20:17Ah!
20:18Not to worry.
20:18Anyway, I've called him at home, and he's not there.
20:21When did you call him?
20:22Oh, first thing, before I called O'Reilly.
20:24Wasn't that rather early for a Sunday?
20:25Well, I called him just a few minutes ago, just before you arrived.
20:27There's nobody there.
20:29PHONE RINGS
20:31Oh, yes, hello, Fawlty Towers, yes.
20:34Who?
20:36Ah, yes, I think you'd better have a word with my wife.
20:39Um, somebody for Mr. Stubs, dear.
20:42Hello, simple, Fawlty.
20:44Well, it is a complete mess.
20:47Well, could you come straight round and put it right?
20:50Would you like to deal with this, Basil?
20:52Well...
20:53So, you see, we couldn't possibly manage it for at least three weeks.
20:56But if you wanted Doug straight away, I suggest you try someone like, um...
21:00Oh...
21:01What's his name?
21:02It's, uh...
21:03O'Reilly?
21:04Bravo, Polly.
21:06Well done, girl.
21:06But listen, where are you speaking from?
21:08She's in here with me, Basil.
21:10Oh, I should have told you.
21:14Is there somebody there trying to pretend that they're from Mr. Stubs' company?
21:17What sort of game do you think you're playing?
21:18I mean, dear.
21:19Dear.
21:20Would you believe what some of these people will do, Sybil?
21:22I am going to make you regret this for the rest of your life, Basil.
21:25Well, fair enough, I suppose, but I think Stubs is partly...
21:27Basil!
21:29Don't you dare, don't you dare give me any more of those pathetic lies!
21:33Oh, right.
21:34What are you pretending for?
21:36Did you really think that I would believe that this shambles is the work of professional builders?
21:41I mean, people who do it for a living?
21:42No, no, not really, no.
21:43Why did I trust you, Basil?
21:45Why did I let you make the arrangements?
21:47I could have seen what was going to happen.
21:49Why did I do it?
21:50Well, we all make mistakes, dear.
21:52I'm sick to death of you.
21:53You never learn, do you?
21:54You never, ever learn!
21:57We have used O'Reilly three times in the last year, and each time it has been a fiasco.
22:01That wall out there is still not done!
22:03You got him in to change a washer in November, and we didn't have any running water for two weeks!
22:07Well, he's not really a plumber, dear!
22:08Well, then why did you hire him?
22:11Because he's cheap!
22:12Oh, I wouldn't call him cheap, Sybil!
22:13What would you call him, then?
22:15Well, cheap-ish, but I mean...
22:17The reason he's cheap-ish is he's no bloody good!
22:19Oh, Sybil!
22:20I mean, he's not brilliant!
22:22Not brilliant?
22:23He belongs in a zoo!
22:24Oh, Sybil!
22:25You've got to give anyone the benefit of the doubt!
22:27He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick Irish
22:32joke!
22:33Ah, hello, O'Reilly!
22:34How funny we were just talking about you!
22:35And then we got on to another Irish bill we used to know!
22:38Oh, God, he was off!
22:40I was talking about you, Mr O'Reilly!
22:42Were you there?
22:43I thought you were talking...
22:45Come, come, Mrs Forty!
22:47I'm coming!
22:48Oh, dear me, what have I done now?
22:50That and that!
22:51Not to worry, I'm putting it right!
22:53Not to worry?
22:54You've heard of the genius of the lamp, Mrs Forty!
22:58Well, that's me!
22:59You think I'm joking, don't you?
23:02Oh, don't smile!
23:04Why are you smiling, Mr O'Reilly?
23:06Well, to be perfectly honest, Mrs Forty, I like a woman with spirits!
23:10Oh, do you?
23:11Is that what you like?
23:12I do, I do!
23:13Oh, good!
23:15Now, Simone, that's enough!
23:18Come on, then!
23:19Give us a smile!
23:20That's...
23:23Oh, O'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the
23:27bottom of ponds!
23:28I have seen better organised creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads
23:31cut off!
23:32Now, collect your things and get out!
23:34Ah!
23:35I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again!
23:40Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to speak to a professional builder.
23:43Hello, Mr Stubbs?
23:45It's civil faulty here.
23:46I'm sorry to disturb you on a Sunday morning.
23:48We have a slight problem with a couple of doors we'd like you to take care of.
23:51When do you think you could come round and take a look at them?
23:55Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock.
23:57That'll be fine.
23:58See you then.
23:59Thank you very much.
24:00Goodbye.
24:02Well, I think I shall go over to Audrey's now and I shan't be back till the morning.
24:07Oh, Basil.
24:08Yes, dear?
24:08What is that doing here?
24:10It's your garden home, dear.
24:11Isn't it nice?
24:12Well, don't you think it would be better in the garden?
24:14Yes, dear.
24:14Good idea.
24:16Oh, no, no, no.
24:16Basil, put him back.
24:17On second thoughts, I think I'll leave him in charge.
24:19I'm sure he's cheaper.
24:20He'll certainly be better at it than you are.
24:24Have a nice day, dear.
24:27Don't drive over any mines or anything.
24:30You toxic midget.
24:31Where are you going here, Riley?
24:33Well, I...
24:34Will you please take your tools back and continue with the work?
24:36Well, I can't in view of what Mrs. Fauci was saying.
24:39You're not going to take that seriously, are you?
24:40Well, I thought I might.
24:41What sort of a man are you, O'Reilly?
24:44Are you going to let her speak to us like that?
24:45Well, she did.
24:46No, she didn't.
24:47She thinks she did, but we'll show her.
24:49We're not just going to put that door back and take that one out.
24:51We're going to cleanse that one off and put that one through as well.
24:53We're going to do the best day's work you've ever done, O'Reilly.
25:02Manuel, any sign?
25:04No, no, no, no, no.
25:06Morning, Fawlty.
25:07Ah, morning, Major.
25:08The papers are here.
25:09Ah, good.
25:10The only sort of thing new, Major?
25:11Another car strike.
25:13Never mind, never mind.
25:14Morning, Major.
25:15Oh, good morning, er...
25:17Never mind.
25:18Oh, right.
25:20Ah!
25:21You found it.
25:22I knew you would.
25:23He lost it, you know.
25:25Mr. Fawlty, she come now.
25:27She come now.
25:27Quick, quick.
25:28Er, quick.
25:48Morning, dear.
25:56Did you have a pleasant evening, dear?
25:58Oh, good.
25:59Ah, Mr. Stubbs, my wife's just there.
26:01Good morning, Mrs. Fawlty.
26:02Oh, Mr. Stubbs, this is most awkward.
26:05I'm afraid I have to apologise.
26:10My husband has put me in rather an embarrassing situation once again.
26:14I was going to ask you to do some work here.
26:16Yes.
26:16Er, but I was away last night, and when I came back just now,
26:20well, it appears to have been done.
26:21Everything all right, dear?
26:22Oh, I see.
26:23I mean, it'll probably all fall down by lunchtime.
26:26Oh, do you think so, dear?
26:27Well, let's ask a real expert.
26:28Do you think it'll all fall down by lunch, Mr. Stubbs?
26:30Oh, no, no.
26:31No, Mr. Stubbs wouldn't agree with you on that one, dear.
26:33It's a very good job.
26:34Oh, did you hear that, dear?
26:35Very good job.
26:37Hmm?
26:38Oh, none of us likes me wrong, dear.
26:39I certainly don't.
26:40And then we knock through this door here, and we, er, close this one off.
26:43What did you use?
26:45RSJ?
26:45Oh, no, no, four by two.
26:47Not bad, eh, dear?
26:48And not expensive.
26:49Oh, I mean, for the lintel.
26:50Did you use an RSJ?
26:52You know, an iron girder?
26:54Or did you use a concrete lintel?
26:56Er, no, it wouldn't one.
26:58Well, that's a supporting wall.
27:00Well, that's a supporting wall.
27:01Quite.
27:01Well, thanks very much for coming over this morning.
27:04Just a minute.
27:05You mean that isn't strong enough?
27:07That's a supporting wall, Mrs. Fordy.
27:08You could give away any moment.
27:10Any moment?
27:11Yeah, good.
27:12The floor's above.
27:12Look, keep this door shut so I can get a screw jack to prop it up before the bloody lot
27:16comes in.
27:17I don't know.
27:17Cowboys.
27:19Basil?
27:21Basil!
27:22Basil!
27:24Basil!
27:25Basil!
27:25Basil!
27:26I'm going to see Mr. O'Reilly, dear.
27:28I think I might go to Canada.
27:30Why am I gonna do that in Canada?
27:31No, thank you very much for that, of course.
27:44Thank you, Mr. O'Reilly.
27:45Thank you very much for that.
27:46I hope that to be a good one.
27:47Thank you very much.
27:48Thank you very much, Mr. Pader.
27:48I hope you'll see you very soon.
27:48You are waiting for your, for dinner.
27:48Thank you very much.
27:51Thank you very much.
27:54All right.
27:54Thank you very much.
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