- 2 days ago
In Episode 6 of Series 16, Jeremy Clarkson races the Jaguar XJ 5.0 V8 Supersport across England in a sunset-to-sunrise endurance test, Richard Hammond indulges his childhood dream by driving both the Porsche 959 and Ferrari F40, while James May takes a ride in NASA’s latest Space Exploration Vehicle. John Prescott appears as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Category
🚗
MotorTranscript
00:00:00Tonight, a Spaniel in a moon buggy, a fat man in a Kia, and a race against the Lord God Almighty.
00:00:24Come on!
00:00:30Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Thank you. Now, Richard Hammond. Richard Hammond
00:00:42says that back in the 1980s, when he was a small boy, there were only two cars that caused
00:00:48him to run about his house in Birmingham, clutching feverishly. It is, as yet, unformed
00:00:54Tinkle. So you can imagine how excited he was when the producer said to him this week
00:01:01he could drive both of them.
00:01:03We've been wanting to get these two together for as long as I can remember, and we finally
00:01:14got hold of them. And, well, it's a short winter's day, and I don't want any traffic jams holding
00:01:19me up or any of that nonsense, which is why I've kept the night at the track. And I believe
00:01:25they're here. In 1986, Porsche launched the greatest supercar the world had ever seen,
00:01:38the F40. Oh, my word. Would you just look at that? I can't recall ever seeing these two together
00:01:50on television before. So let's get cracking. Beginning with this one.
00:02:09Richard, stay professional.
00:02:13When the 959 first came along in 1986, it was the most advanced and most high-tech car
00:02:24ever made. I'm not talking about the upmarket pleasantness of my surroundings and aircon,
00:02:32electric seats and so on. No, it's cleverer stuff than that.
00:02:36For example, it had adjustable suspension and a complex four-wheel drive system.
00:02:48You could split the power between the front and back wheels, not just according to how
00:02:52much grip you had, but how you were cornering, how much g-force you were putting it under.
00:02:59Oh, God, this is beautiful. You can just feel. I mean, I've driven, I've owned 911s from this period.
00:03:07And this thing just feels so much more.
00:03:13And the tech fest didn't stop there. The 959 came with a million things we'd never seen before.
00:03:21Tire pressure sensors, for example, and magnesium wheels with hollow spokes.
00:03:26No wonder Bill Gates bought one.
00:03:31And while we're on the subject of Billy Microsoft, he was one of the few people back then
00:03:35who could have afforded to pay the proper price for one of these things.
00:03:39Because in the 80s, Porsche asked £150,000 for a 959.
00:03:44But it actually cost them £300,000 to make. It was so advanced.
00:03:49Other famous owners included my style hero, Don Johnson, and a young Boris Becker,
00:03:58who maxed his 959 on the Italian Autostrada, which must have been lively.
00:04:03The 959 was fast. Really fast.
00:04:11Thanks to its 444 brake horsepower, 2.9 litre, flat 6 turbocharged engine.
00:04:17In fact, the top speed was 197 miles an hour.
00:04:24Which, in 1986, made it the fastest production car in the world.
00:04:30When the turbos come on!
00:04:34However, its reign as the speed came was short-lived.
00:04:45Thanks to this.
00:04:49The 201 mile an hour Ferrari F40.
00:04:52It's the one that gets me. Not 200, 201.
00:05:07It's like when kids say, everything you say plus one.
00:05:12So, we know the Ferrari has a higher top speed than the Porsche.
00:05:17But what about acceleration?
00:05:18You know, I feel a drag race coming on.
00:05:22Now, I am, as you know, a big fan of Porsches.
00:05:27And it's not that I think that 959 is going to lose or anything.
00:05:32Just, it's a cold day.
00:05:34And I think it's best if I stay here in this car.
00:05:38The one that's 250 kilograms lighter.
00:05:41And has got 478 brake horsepower instead of, um, 444.
00:05:46Ahaha!
00:05:48Both these cars, twin turbos!
00:05:51Both 2.9 litres!
00:05:55Ah!
00:05:57Oh, it's gonna be close!
00:06:00Ah!
00:06:02Oh, it's gonna be close!
00:06:04Ah!
00:06:06Ah!
00:06:07Ah!
00:06:09Ah!
00:06:10Ah!
00:06:11Ah!
00:06:12Ah!
00:06:13Ah!
00:06:14Ah!
00:06:15Ah!
00:06:16Ah!
00:06:18Ah!
00:06:21It's gonna be close!
00:06:22I think the Porsche's taking it!
00:06:24And the Porsche is going to win!
00:06:26Ah!
00:06:30Ah!
00:06:31Enzo would not like that result!
00:06:33I'll be honest, a couple of my gear changes could have been slicker.
00:06:40Dial out my iffy gear changes, though, and these two would cross the line neck and neck.
00:06:48And that's odd, because they are very different.
00:06:51Where the 959 is all high-tech and luxury, the F40 has string for door handles.
00:06:58No carpets and wind-up windows.
00:07:02What you get in this car is a twin-turbo V8, some windscreen wipers, and that's about
00:07:08it.
00:07:09It was the first car to be made entirely of carbon fibre, which was only just starting
00:07:19to happen in Formula 1.
00:07:22The lightness and the stiffness of it allied to that colossal power made it a bit of a
00:07:28hyper-go-kart through the corners.
00:07:32As a Porsche fan, it pains me to say this, but in the corners, the F40 is far more exciting.
00:07:39God, that steering wheel is alive!
00:07:45This thing is so sharp!
00:07:49God, I'm sorry to keep squeaking and making noises, and if it's disturbing you, I apologise.
00:08:04So often, it is don't drive your heroes.
00:08:10Not this time, it's better than I could have imagined, better than I ever knew as a kid,
00:08:16looking at pictures of it.
00:08:18So often, it's better than I could have imagined.
00:08:26Choosing between these two is like choosing between shirt or trousers.
00:08:32It's pointless.
00:08:33But I will say this, we simply wouldn't be where we are now without them.
00:08:40Because these two cars are, I believe, incredibly important.
00:08:44It's this pair that took road cars to and beyond the 200 mile an hour barrier.
00:08:51Before them, you had Countach's and Testarossa's, and in evolutionary terms, they were like man
00:08:57first making it into space.
00:09:00With these two, it was man walking on the moon.
00:09:05They really are that important.
00:09:18Well, I'm sorry.
00:09:23What?
00:09:24No, I'm sorry.
00:09:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, everybody.
00:09:27Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:09:28Did you say it was pointless to decide which of these was best?
00:09:33Yeah, well, it is pointless.
00:09:34Well, apart from the fact that the 959's coming neither here nor there, and the F40
00:09:39is probably the greatest car ever built in human history.
00:09:42No, look, if I'm honest, I preferred the F40 as well.
00:09:45But we mustn't forget the 959 was important because it set the trend for computers and sensors
00:09:50that modern supercars have followed ever since.
00:09:53Yes, and I wish they hadn't.
00:09:54I wish they'd all followed the route set by the F40, because that basically is just,
00:09:57it's a twin-turbocharged V8 go-kart.
00:10:00It's just very simple.
00:10:01It's better.
00:10:02Now, I know what you mean.
00:10:03It's analog versus digital.
00:10:04It is.
00:10:05But anyway, we must now find out how fast they go round our track.
00:10:09The owners must be insane to let us do this.
00:10:12That, of course, means handing them over to our tame racing driver.
00:10:15Some say that his favourite disease he had when he was a child was gout.
00:10:22And that he was very surprised this week when he was able to pick up some remarkably cheap
00:10:26tickets for the Bahrain Grand Prix.
00:10:30And all we know is, he's called the Steg.
00:10:33And he's not going anywhere.
00:10:38He's obviously, there's something wrong there.
00:10:40Oh dear, yes, there's something very wrong.
00:10:43What the hell's happened there?
00:10:46And then, and across the line, and into a garage.
00:10:52That's not good.
00:10:53It's awkward.
00:10:54But, you see, I know what you're going to say.
00:10:57Let me say it anyway, because the Ferrari is fragile.
00:11:00That's why I like Porsche, because they may not be as exciting to look at,
00:11:04but they're durable and tough, and that wins in the end.
00:11:06Yes, yes, yes.
00:11:07All right, come on, let's have a look at how the 959 got on.
00:11:11And, yes, that one is actually going.
00:11:14It is incredible how soft it looks, as it rocks about.
00:11:18Also looks rather old-fashioned, and I must say, very slow.
00:11:23He's got a problem in there, he must have.
00:11:29Here's Chicago.
00:11:31That's an even bigger problem, that is.
00:11:35Oh!
00:11:43So, what had gone wrong?
00:11:46What happened?
00:11:47Well, apparently, yes, I've just heard that the turbos let go.
00:11:52So, that had no boost, that lost its seal.
00:11:54So, what we've got here, for the first time ever,
00:11:57is a DNF that did not finish, and a DNS that did not start.
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:05Right, and now the news.
00:12:07That the Bahrain Grand Prix, because it's being cancelled,
00:12:09well, this is a bit of an issue, isn't it?
00:12:11Because, I mean, it was supposed to be the first race of the season.
00:12:13Yeah.
00:12:14So, are they going to replace it with something else?
00:12:15Are they just going to forget about it?
00:12:17Well, they can hardly stage it in Tunisia, can they?
00:12:19Maybe Egypt?
00:12:20No, they're not, though.
00:12:21No, wait, wait, wait.
00:12:22Why don't we offer them our track?
00:12:25Well, actually, think about it.
00:12:26Really, why can't they hold it here?
00:12:28It makes sense, because most F1 teams are UK-based, are they not?
00:12:30Yeah.
00:12:31So, it's convenient.
00:12:32And, catering, we've got that caravan next to the security hut.
00:12:36Yes.
00:12:37And, if it rains, there is the security hut itself.
00:12:40To stay in there.
00:12:41It works.
00:12:42Were you all able to park easily today?
00:12:43Yes.
00:12:44Oh, mate, F1 here?
00:12:45Plus, Bahrain, an incredibly boring track.
00:12:48You can crash off for miles on those runoff areas and not actually hit anything.
00:12:52Whereas, here, we could offer the prestigious opportunity to crash into an old Boeing 747.
00:12:58Hang on a minute, though, isn't our track a figure of eight?
00:13:02Yes, it is!
00:13:03That makes it even better!
00:13:04Imagine you're an F1 car, flat out, you'd be flat out towards follow-through, wouldn't you?
00:13:09About to go right, and then there'd be another F1 car coming the other way, about to go left towards Chicago.
00:13:13Your closing speed is about 350 miles an hour.
00:13:16Chicken!
00:13:17I think, I think the most common phrase we'd hear from the commentary team would be,
00:13:22tumbling end over end.
00:13:25So, anyway, Bernie, if you like this idea, if you want to take us up on it, write to us that,
00:13:30well, you've got more viewers than us anyway.
00:13:32Talk here.
00:13:33Now, anyone here from London?
00:13:36Yes!
00:13:37Okay, right, you're all familiar with the Westway.
00:13:39I've got a picture of it here.
00:13:40It's a big snaking ribbon of tarmac that scythes into the centre of the city.
00:13:44The idea being, it gets you in as quickly as possible, and out as quickly as possible.
00:13:48Now, for many years, it's had a 50 mile an hour speed limit, which is too low,
00:13:51but they've decided this week to lower it to 30.
00:13:5530 miles an hour!
00:13:56I'm sorry, I tried driving down there earlier this week at 30 miles an hour.
00:13:59I damn nearly caused 27 accidents.
00:14:02I was sick of a girl on a scooter.
00:14:03I was like, what are you doing here, you idiot?
00:14:05Isn't this supposed to be a temporary speed limit,
00:14:08whilst they do some works underneath the bridge bit or something?
00:14:11Yes, yes it is.
00:14:12But, when they introduced the 70 mile an hour speed limit on,
00:14:15you know, all British motorways in 1965,
00:14:17they said then that was temporary.
00:14:19Here we are 46 years later, we've still got it.
00:14:21Speed limits are like herpes.
00:14:23Are they?
00:14:24Yeah, you get them, never get rid of them.
00:14:26Whatever.
00:14:28I've got to say, it doesn't look very temporary.
00:14:30Why is that man nodding again, I know.
00:14:33I've got speed limits.
00:14:36But this road, okay, this road's run by Boris Johnson, yes?
00:14:39Now, Boris Johnson wrote a piece in Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph last week,
00:14:42in which he said he didn't want to be forced to wear a helmet while skiing,
00:14:45because as an individual he should be allowed to make up his own mind,
00:14:48and he doesn't want governments telling him what to do.
00:14:51Boris, I give you that.
00:14:55It is weird, isn't it?
00:14:56Because we all think of Boris Johnson as being cuddly and affable,
00:14:59and having slightly funny hair,
00:15:00but history will remember him as Boris the Oppressor.
00:15:03He is.
00:15:04Boris is a Russian name, and this is a Russian thing to do.
00:15:07But listen, Boris, okay,
00:15:08when your road works or whatever it is you're doing under that bridge are finished,
00:15:11I want to see that 30 limit gone.
00:15:13Er, serious point, if I may.
00:15:15Last year, we showed you a tribute to Ayrton Senna on Top Gear,
00:15:18a little film we made.
00:15:19Well, now there's a much longer one come out.
00:15:21Er, 90 minutes long.
00:15:22In fact, it's an incredible documentary.
00:15:24But it is.
00:15:25This is completely unmissable.
00:15:26I've got a clip for you here.
00:15:27I want you to have a look at this.
00:15:28He'll be ranked among the all-time greats.
00:15:32Ayrton has a small problem.
00:15:34He thinks that he can't kill himself.
00:15:36I think it's very dangerous.
00:15:38We are competing to win.
00:15:40And if you no longer go for a gap,
00:15:43you're no longer a race driver.
00:15:44And Alain Frost takes the lead.
00:15:46Senna is trying to go through on the inside.
00:15:49And it's a good!
00:15:53I was treated like a criminal.
00:15:54The best decision is my decision.
00:15:56I can't stand this.
00:15:57Walking away from the dark forces just doesn't become an option.
00:16:01I was not going to give up.
00:16:05Do you race?
00:16:07That makes me happy.
00:16:13There's footage in that.
00:16:15You just can't believe.
00:16:16I've got goosebumps once again.
00:16:18Believe.
00:16:19It's unbelievable.
00:16:20It's just won an award, actually,
00:16:22at the Sundance Film Festival's best documentary.
00:16:24And I'm really not surprised.
00:16:26It's out in June.
00:16:27If you've got any heart, any soul at all,
00:16:28you've got to go and see it.
00:16:30It's fantastic.
00:16:31Anyway, moving on.
00:16:33Yes, BMW has launched a whole sort of eco-flavoured range of cars,
00:16:37beginning with the letter I.
00:16:39They've got two so far, the I3 and the I8.
00:16:42Do you want to see a picture of them?
00:16:43Here they are.
00:16:44Very difficult to see out of.
00:16:45Or get in.
00:16:46In fact, it's not going to work, is it?
00:16:47Yeah.
00:16:48Oh, really?
00:16:49What is this current obsession with putting I in front of things
00:16:53and believing that makes them special?
00:16:55It started with the iPod, yeah, fair enough.
00:16:57But we're going to have an eye sandwich and eye shoes.
00:17:00I don't want an eye infection.
00:17:03No.
00:17:04I don't want one of those, though.
00:17:05Yeah.
00:17:06Oh, now, listen.
00:17:07Chrysler is going to launch this little £11,000 car in Britain,
00:17:11and the first thing you need to know about it is
00:17:13it isn't a Chrysler.
00:17:14Well...
00:17:15No, no.
00:17:16What it is, okay, what happens is...
00:17:17Here's the story.
00:17:18Fiat make the Fiat the 500, okay?
00:17:20They then give that to Lancia, who make it a bit longer
00:17:22and add two rear doors,
00:17:23and then Lancia give VAT to Chrysler,
00:17:25who take the Lancia badges off,
00:17:27put Chrysler ones on,
00:17:28and they're going to sell it in Britain.
00:17:30So, Fiat have actually got as far as recycling their cars
00:17:33before they've even sold them?
00:17:34Yes.
00:17:35No, it's not a car at all.
00:17:36It's kind of an archaeological dig,
00:17:38because you buy one, scratch away at the badge,
00:17:40and underneath you discover,
00:17:41ah, yes, it was a Lancia.
00:17:42And then if you go a bit further, you'll find it was a Fiat.
00:17:45You're not just a Fiat 500,
00:17:46because if you actually keep going,
00:17:47you'll find it's a Fiat Panda,
00:17:48which is effectively what it is.
00:17:50Dig a bit further, and you'll find a load of coins
00:17:51and a bronze helmet.
00:17:53Some bones.
00:17:54The Piltdown Man is in the glove box on that car.
00:17:57Let's make it go away,
00:17:58because more importantly,
00:18:00Aston Martin, okay,
00:18:02have launched a new car this week called the Virage.
00:18:04The idea is it fits between the quite soft and comfy DB9
00:18:07and the much more expensive DBS.
00:18:09Fantastic looking thing.
00:18:11What is there to say?
00:18:13It's going to cost, apparently,
00:18:14around £150,000 V12 engine.
00:18:17Absolutely perfect.
00:18:18Just one thing,
00:18:19underneath, of course,
00:18:20it is a Fiat 500.
00:18:23Because everything is.
00:18:24Because everything is.
00:18:25Now,
00:18:26around about 20 years ago,
00:18:28Peugeot made the momentous decision
00:18:30to stop making nice cars,
00:18:32and make instead not very nice cars
00:18:34for elderly people.
00:18:36Yes,
00:18:37but now they've had another change of heart
00:18:39and they've come up with this.
00:18:41It's called the EX-1.
00:18:43It's a twin-engined,
00:18:44four-wheel drive,
00:18:45electric roadster.
00:18:46And it's,
00:18:47well,
00:18:48the main purpose of it,
00:18:49really, Hammond,
00:18:50is to break records.
00:18:51Not unlike myself,
00:18:52actually.
00:18:53Really?
00:18:54Yeah.
00:18:55Anyway, look at this.
00:18:56You open the door,
00:18:57but when you do,
00:18:58you also get...
00:19:00A broken wrist?
00:19:01No,
00:19:02you also get,
00:19:03look,
00:19:04you get the seat.
00:19:05Oh, wow!
00:19:06The seat is part of the climb in.
00:19:07Half the car comes with it,
00:19:08so I'm actually getting into the door's pocket now,
00:19:10with all, like,
00:19:11the crisp packets and the change.
00:19:12Feet tight.
00:19:13Get your feet right tight.
00:19:14What, I put my feet in there?
00:19:15Yeah, and then...
00:19:16Oh, yes!
00:19:17Look at this!
00:19:18Hey,
00:19:19that steering wheel is very Batman.
00:19:20It does all that and that,
00:19:21and that's where the instruments are
00:19:23up on those two screens.
00:19:24That's fantastic!
00:19:25Look!
00:19:26That is,
00:19:27I have to say,
00:19:28for a Peugeot especially,
00:19:29it looks absolutely fantastic.
00:19:30It's very funky,
00:19:31very...
00:19:32Look at his face.
00:19:33It's very funky and very modern,
00:19:35and you can expect to see this
00:19:36in your local Peugeot dealership.
00:19:38Never.
00:19:40Now, moving on,
00:19:41with one of the most ambitious races
00:19:44we've ever staged.
00:19:45As the sun sets,
00:19:47I will start from here,
00:19:49lands end,
00:19:50Britain's most westerly point.
00:19:52And I will attempt to get to here,
00:19:54in Lower Stoft,
00:19:55Britain's most easterly point,
00:19:57before it rises again.
00:19:59Now, to make this especially hard,
00:20:01I was made to do the race on Midsummer's Day
00:20:04during the shortest night we have.
00:20:06This is a big one.
00:20:12Space is a never-ending race track.
00:20:15The thermal shock region on the prow of our solar system,
00:20:18for example,
00:20:19is screaming through the heavens at 490,000 miles an hour.
00:20:24Earth is hurtling round the sun at 67,000 miles an hour.
00:20:29God, it seems,
00:20:31is a complete speed freak.
00:20:35And this is what I'm pitting against him.
00:20:38The new Jaguar XJ.
00:20:49And already there's a problem.
00:20:51Because which one do I take?
00:20:53The supercharged V8 is fast and exciting but thirsty.
00:20:57The diesel could do the journey easily
00:21:00on less than half a tank
00:21:02and not having to fill up will save time.
00:21:07In the end though,
00:21:08it was a simple decision.
00:21:10I went for the fast one.
00:21:17Stopwatch.
00:21:18Sam.
00:21:19This is it then.
00:21:20For your Sunday night delectation,
00:21:22a big Jag versus God.
00:21:27It's like songs of praise.
00:21:29With a supercharger.
00:21:30At 9.36,
00:21:33the sun sank below the horizon.
00:21:38And the race was on.
00:21:40Here we go.
00:21:41Now that is what the mysterious
00:21:44sunset green flash is all about, obviously.
00:21:47It's God's starting light.
00:21:49He wants to race us.
00:21:51He likes racing.
00:21:52Okay, here are my issues.
00:21:55The sun will rise over East Anglia at 4.30 in the morning.
00:22:01That gives me 6 hours and 54 minutes to do 432 miles.
00:22:08That means averaging, averaging 62 miles an hour.
00:22:14At this stage, Dawn still had 4200 miles to go before it reached Lower Stoft.
00:22:21But it was doing a massive 610 miles an hour.
00:22:26One holder.
00:22:28One red light.
00:22:29God wins.
00:22:31And already, he was playing dirty.
00:22:36Get out of the way!
00:22:41They've all been to watch the sunset at Land's End,
00:22:45and now going back to the hotel.
00:22:47Well, this is bad.
00:22:50Thirty miles an hour.
00:22:51Half what I need to be doing.
00:22:53But then, the road straightened out.
00:22:56And the Jag pounced.
00:22:58You're taking.
00:23:06Holy cow!
00:23:08This thing is fast.
00:23:13But then, it kind of would be,
00:23:15because the supercharged V8 that's hauling me along
00:23:19produces more power and more torque.
00:23:22than the 6-litre V12 in an Aston Martin Rapide.
00:23:29Rumpf!
00:23:32It's unhinged performance.
00:23:34That's what this is.
00:23:37I am going to thrash.
00:23:39Golf.
00:23:43But then, he enlisted the services of an unusual ally.
00:23:47Nyaaah!
00:23:48The devil's work!
00:23:53The Elzebub's cones went on for miles,
00:23:55and my average speed collapsed.
00:23:59I'm in Cornwall doing 50 because of average speed cameras
00:24:02to protect the workforce who aren't here.
00:24:05And the sun has already risen in Sydney.
00:24:09God was winning.
00:24:10Which meant that when the road work's finished,
00:24:14I needed to get my foot down.
00:24:17Yes!
00:24:18Take it so!
00:24:19Take it so!
00:24:26This is a quick car,
00:24:27but there's a bit more to it than raw speed.
00:24:32Sitting in an old jag,
00:24:33even the last one,
00:24:34was like sitting in a country pub.
00:24:36You were cramped with beans
00:24:38you half expected to be steering with a wagon wheel.
00:24:42This, though,
00:24:43with the blue lighting round the vents
00:24:45and the blue glow in the door pockets.
00:24:48They've even lined this cubby hole and the glove box,
00:24:53as you can see,
00:24:54with purple velvet.
00:24:57That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt
00:24:59and finding she's wearing a foam.
00:25:02Love these.
00:25:03Stroke the lights to make them come on or off.
00:25:06Or off.
00:25:08There are other thoughtful touches, too.
00:25:11Oh, yeah.
00:25:12That's hard.
00:25:13Oh, yeah.
00:25:14Lower.
00:25:16Lower.
00:25:17There.
00:25:18There.
00:25:19There.
00:25:20Yes, as I'm sure you realized,
00:25:21that's the seat massager at work.
00:25:24It's like needing me and...
00:25:27all that and the seat.
00:25:32Then there's the stereo system.
00:25:34In the last Jag, you've got a gramophone
00:25:37with a dog sitting on it.
00:25:38But in this,
00:25:39I've got 1,200 watts
00:25:43and it will play anything.
00:25:45Anything.
00:25:47You just...
00:25:48you push...
00:25:50you push...
00:25:52that.
00:25:54Erm...
00:25:56Erm...
00:25:58By the time I realized
00:25:59I didn't understand iPod connectivity,
00:26:02the sun was over Thailand.
00:26:07And I was facing a decision
00:26:08made by thousands of holiday makers
00:26:10every summer.
00:26:12M5 and M4,
00:26:14or A303,
00:26:15past Stonehenge.
00:26:18The motorway is 20 miles further,
00:26:22but probably better for fuel consumption.
00:26:25but the A303 is more fun in a car like this.
00:26:34Yeah!
00:26:35A303 it is!
00:26:39This...
00:26:40was a good call.
00:26:44There's a whiff of...
00:26:46NASCAR about this car.
00:26:48And now...
00:26:50I'm gonna give it a bit more
00:26:51because I'm gonna engage
00:26:53dynamic mode.
00:26:55Look!
00:26:56The dials glow red!
00:26:59What this does
00:27:01is firms everything up,
00:27:02gives you more punch.
00:27:04Also, because the XJ is made entirely from aluminium,
00:27:08it's much lighter than any other big car.
00:27:10It feels like a sports car.
00:27:14On good roads like these,
00:27:16it's not far short of a masterpiece.
00:27:20The Jags set about chewing up the miles.
00:27:24The Jags set about chewing up the miles.
00:27:28The Jags set about chewing up the miles.
00:27:31The Jags set about chewing up the miles.
00:27:47Druids!
00:27:48By 1.45, I figured I was in the lead,
00:27:59but I'd reached the M3,
00:28:01which was boring.
00:28:03So, I decided to let the car drive itself.
00:28:07Right, cruise control on.
00:28:10Very good system this.
00:28:12Set the speed at 70,
00:28:13and the road ahead is scanned by microwaves.
00:28:16I'm going to hook on now to the back of our camera car.
00:28:20There we go.
00:28:21So now, if he speeds up,
00:28:22I speed up.
00:28:23If he slows down,
00:28:24I slow down.
00:28:25I don't have to do anything.
00:28:27And I can even choose
00:28:28what sort of distance I want to follow it at.
00:28:32There's the safe distance there.
00:28:35Right down to the full Audi.
00:28:38Yes, there we are.
00:28:39That's the Audi following distance.
00:28:44It was now late.
00:28:45The motorway was monotonous,
00:28:47and my thoughts turned to the business of staying sharp.
00:28:51Production team, as usual,
00:28:53has provided me with a CD
00:28:54to keep me awake on this long and difficult and perilous voyage.
00:28:58But it was while working at Radio Lancashire that I experienced a revelation.
00:29:06I took over as producer and presenter of the weekend mid-morning shows.
00:29:10I reported on Roblox,
00:29:12the carol concert's jumble sails.
00:29:15Hammond's adventures in local radio weren't helping.
00:29:18Record-breaking attempts and sponsored swims.
00:29:21But soon, something else did.
00:29:23A splash-and-dash pit stop cost precious moments.
00:29:38Here we go.
00:29:40And then Beelzebub decided to cost me even more.
00:29:44No, no, no.
00:29:48This is exactly the sort of hold-up I can do without.
00:29:52Is anyone going to be working on them?
00:29:54I mean, really?
00:29:55So you have to drive along at 50 miles an hour,
00:29:58glaring at your speedometer,
00:30:00not looking at the road ahead.
00:30:01That's very dangerous.
00:30:02I mean, it raises money for the government, obviously,
00:30:04but it's very dangerous.
00:30:08By the time the roadworks finished,
00:30:10God was back in the lead.
00:30:12He was now just over an hour from Lowestoft.
00:30:16Okay, 65 miles to go,
00:30:18and I would say that the inky blackness of night
00:30:22has become sort of royal blue.
00:30:27I suppose the sun will be early with it.
00:30:30Can it do that?
00:30:36There is a smudge in the sky.
00:30:39A big one.
00:30:42The mother of fire, it seems, is coming back.
00:30:46That is daylight.
00:30:48I have 39 minutes.
00:30:57There were still 34 miles to go, but win or lose,
00:31:00I was glad I'd done this race in the Jag.
00:31:04An S-Class may be a comparable limo to this,
00:31:09but an S-Class doesn't go and stop and steer anything like as well as this.
00:31:15If you're a keen driver,
00:31:19this is the only big car you can have.
00:31:25The sun was now over Amsterdam
00:31:27and would appear in Suffolk in just 12 minutes.
00:31:32Come on, come on.
00:31:364.9 miles.
00:31:37Right, where am I going? Where is England's most easterly spot?
00:31:54Come on.
00:31:55I'm lost!
00:31:56Nooo, red light now!
00:32:07Come on!
00:32:10This is it.
00:32:11This is it!
00:32:34Easy!
00:32:35I may be the first person in history to call God a loser.
00:32:36Yes, that may have been a mistake.
00:32:37After it's a light you brought it.
00:32:38Anyway, let me just get this right.
00:32:40It drives like a sports car.
00:32:42Yes, very like it. It just feels so light. It's incredible.
00:32:44Okay, it's about £20,000 less than the equivalent Mercedes S-Class.
00:32:48Yep, the S63, definitely.
00:32:49The S63, yeah, and it's faster than the Lord God Almighty.
00:32:51Yes, it is, just by about five minutes.
00:32:53But you know what? I'm not, I'm just not sure about the looks of it.
00:32:55I know, that's why we filmed it at night.
00:32:57What makes it doubly annoying is that Bertone,
00:32:59which is not Italy's most popular,
00:33:01which is not Italy's most popular,
00:33:02which is not Italy's most popular.
00:33:04It's not Italy's most popular.
00:33:06It's not Italy's most popular.
00:33:08It's not Italy's most popular.
00:33:10Anyway, let me just get this right.
00:33:12It drives like a sports car.
00:33:13Yes, very like it.
00:33:14It just feels so light, it's incredible.
00:33:15OK, it's about £20,000 less than the equivalent Mercedes S-Class.
00:33:18It drives Italy's most successful styling house.
00:33:21Recently did this sort of concept of what they think
00:33:24Jaguars of the future should look like.
00:33:26That's why we've got a television here, so you can have a look.
00:33:28I mean, this is just spectacular.
00:33:30From any angle, that is absolutely glorious.
00:33:34Am I right in thinking that's got suicide doors?
00:33:36Yes, it has. They open this way.
00:33:38And now this is an absolutely fantastic car.
00:33:42And I just think, if it looked like that,
00:33:44it would be the best car ever.
00:33:46Absolutely ever.
00:33:47Absolutely.
00:33:48But anyway, isn't it time you put a star in our reasonably priced car?
00:33:52Yes, I'm sort of delaying it really,
00:33:54because obviously last week we had,
00:33:56well, we had a very intelligent, beautiful, lesbian,
00:34:01gun and muscle car enthusiast,
00:34:03and this week we've got the exact opposite of that.
00:34:05So, ladies and gentlemen, make some noises, please, for John Prescott.
00:34:10Thanks for those that cheered, and those that booned, well, you know what you can do.
00:34:15It's the only thing I've ever made.
00:34:19Lord John Prescott.
00:34:23Thanks for those that cheered.
00:34:26And those that booed.
00:34:27Well, you know what you can do.
00:34:30I don't know where to start with you.
00:34:33I was wondering about that.
00:34:35So many questions.
00:34:37And I think the one that rises to the surface is,
00:34:40what in the name of all that's holy,
00:34:43were you thinking when you said,
00:34:45let's put a bus lane on the M4?
00:34:50Well, I'm glad you've said that.
00:34:57Now, Jeremy, I'm going to introduce you
00:34:59to a revolutionary thought.
00:35:01You can go slower and get there quicker.
00:35:04And that's to do with flow.
00:35:06As soon as you made it two lane
00:35:08and brought it to 70 or 50,
00:35:09they got there quicker, actually.
00:35:12Cars as well.
00:35:12Well, I don't take my word.
00:35:14Take the independent transport research.
00:35:16And it meant, no,
00:35:17that the flow of the traffic was better.
00:35:19There were less accidents,
00:35:20less deaths.
00:35:21I think that's an important factor.
00:35:23You just want to speed everywhere, right?
00:35:25But in reality,
00:35:26what we've seen
00:35:27is the deaths of children
00:35:29and deaths of adults
00:35:30have collapsed considerably.
00:35:31on the M4 bus lane.
00:35:32On the M4 bus lane.
00:35:32It's a motor lane.
00:35:34There are no schools there.
00:35:37John,
00:35:37listen,
00:35:39they used to be able to drive into London
00:35:42on three lanes.
00:35:43You made it two.
00:35:44Yeah.
00:35:45You put a speed camera,
00:35:46you made it 50.
00:35:47That was daft.
00:35:48And it meant, no,
00:35:49that the flow of the traffic was better
00:35:51because people aren't rushing
00:35:52to the two lane from three.
00:35:54And I've heard motorists,
00:35:55and I hear them all cheering in here,
00:35:56but don't you get annoyed
00:35:57when somebody wants to push in,
00:35:59actually,
00:35:59when you've done your three and your two?
00:36:01How many people get annoyed at that
00:36:03when they come down to three?
00:36:05Oh, very good.
00:36:05public meetings.
00:36:06Put your hands up.
00:36:07You know they are.
00:36:08They are.
00:36:09I think they're bloody well fucked up with it.
00:36:11John, sit down.
00:36:12Sit down.
00:36:14It goes...
00:36:15Right.
00:36:16Hey, they're cheering for me, not you.
00:36:18All right, fair enough.
00:36:20Fair enough.
00:36:20Let me ask you this.
00:36:21Let me ask you this.
00:36:22If you believe that narrowing a motorway
00:36:24causes the traffic flow to be improved,
00:36:26why did you widen the M25 and the M1?
00:36:30Where?
00:36:31Part of the...
00:36:32Where?
00:36:32About the back.
00:36:33Why didn't you do that?
00:36:37Why didn't you narrow them?
00:36:38Well, let...
00:36:39This is going to be a public meeting.
00:36:43Listen.
00:36:44From 1997, when we came in, right,
00:36:47you guys and the public
00:36:49brought seven million more cars.
00:36:52Now, if you look at the congestion,
00:36:54seven million more cars, right?
00:36:56You didn't get rid of the second car, did you?
00:36:58You passed it down.
00:37:00So what is happening,
00:37:01the growth of the cars
00:37:03on the motorway?
00:37:04We like...
00:37:04That is the reality.
00:37:06That is the reality.
00:37:08You don't want to face the fact, dear.
00:37:10Lord Prescott.
00:37:11And you are getting out
00:37:11from you, bloody motorists.
00:37:13In 1997,
00:37:16you said
00:37:16that if there weren't fewer cars on the roads,
00:37:20more people using buses,
00:37:21by the time you finished,
00:37:23in five years,
00:37:24you could be judged a failure.
00:37:26I didn't say that.
00:37:28Well, you really...
00:37:29See, I know what I said,
00:37:31let me tell you.
00:37:31What did you say?
00:37:32What I said,
00:37:32if I don't get more people
00:37:34using public transport
00:37:36and using their motor vehicles less,
00:37:38that's what I said,
00:37:39there are more people on trains now,
00:37:41more on buses, right?
00:37:43That was achieved,
00:37:44but what I didn't recognise,
00:37:45you bought seven million new cars.
00:37:48So that meant more cars
00:37:49went on the roads.
00:37:51That was because of the prosperity
00:37:52we brought you in the Labour government.
00:37:54You've been tricked in the country!
00:37:56You damn nearly won't get it.
00:37:57You won't get it from this outfit,
00:37:59be sure about it.
00:38:02When somebody came to you one day
00:38:04and said
00:38:05that there was a problem
00:38:07with the environment
00:38:07and that man was creating
00:38:08some carbon dioxide
00:38:09which was getting stuck
00:38:10in the upper atmosphere
00:38:11and this was going to cause
00:38:12the world to melt.
00:38:14You decided the best thing
00:38:15you could do
00:38:15was fly to the Maldives
00:38:16to go on a diving trip.
00:38:19No, I didn't.
00:38:20I went to the Maldives,
00:38:21I was doing the negotiations
00:38:22at Kyoto,
00:38:23and there's no way
00:38:23you can get on a bike
00:38:24to go to Kyoto.
00:38:25No, but the Maldives...
00:38:26Wait on, wait on, wait on.
00:38:27Just try to understand
00:38:28what you've got here.
00:38:29Kyoto's in Japan,
00:38:30it's not in the Maldives.
00:38:31Hang on!
00:38:31Just give your bloody brain a chance.
00:38:35If I went to the Maldives,
00:38:37on the way to India,
00:38:38and I went to dive
00:38:40on the coral reefs,
00:38:41I was arguing
00:38:42that what was happening
00:38:43is that these coral reefs
00:38:45were being blanched
00:38:46and dying
00:38:46because the water
00:38:47was getting warm.
00:38:48So I wanted to bring
00:38:49home to people,
00:38:50look what is happening here.
00:38:51People didn't accept
00:38:52it in 1997.
00:38:53But why can't you do that
00:38:54from whole?
00:38:54Why did you need
00:38:55to go to the Maldives?
00:38:56Because the Maldives
00:38:57are where you get the...
00:38:58That's the taxpayer's expense
00:38:59of six and a half thousand quid.
00:39:00Wait a minute,
00:39:00you've sent me to Kyoto,
00:39:02I'm on the way back by India,
00:39:03I'm negotiating
00:39:03with the Indian government,
00:39:05I go via the Maldives
00:39:06and dive.
00:39:07Why did you then
00:39:08go to Sri Lanka?
00:39:09I didn't...
00:39:10Sri Lanka was the stop
00:39:11off of the plane,
00:39:12I didn't go to Sri Lanka.
00:39:13I thought you looked
00:39:13at tigers there.
00:39:15No, that was in India.
00:39:16So you had a look
00:39:17at tigers in India
00:39:18and then you went
00:39:19to the diving...
00:39:19They asked me to join
00:39:20the Save Tiger campaign
00:39:22when I was there
00:39:22on the environment
00:39:23negotiations.
00:39:24What?
00:39:25Listen,
00:39:25the tigers are
00:39:26a real problem.
00:39:27The thing is,
00:39:27John,
00:39:28we know this,
00:39:28we have David Attenham,
00:39:29he comes on the television
00:39:30and he goes,
00:39:30tiger numbers are dropping fast.
00:39:32We read this
00:39:32in the newspapers
00:39:33all the time.
00:39:34Yeah.
00:39:34We don't need to go
00:39:35to India and go,
00:39:36because presumably
00:39:37they showed you a tiger.
00:39:38If they just showed you
00:39:39an empty wood
00:39:40and went,
00:39:40look,
00:39:40no tigers.
00:39:41I didn't go...
00:39:41Listen,
00:39:42it's all right
00:39:42them cheering and shouting
00:39:44at your clever remark,
00:39:45but basically...
00:39:46What?
00:39:47How many...
00:39:48How many...
00:39:48Be like that.
00:39:54Sit down.
00:39:56Because,
00:39:57can you understand,
00:39:58honestly,
00:39:58can you understand
00:39:59why a man
00:40:00threw an egg at you?
00:40:03Do you know why he did
00:40:04and what he was concerned about?
00:40:05I was against fox hunting.
00:40:07Yeah.
00:40:07And he thought I was
00:40:08one of the guys
00:40:09that he hated
00:40:09because he wanted
00:40:10to keep fox hunting.
00:40:11But wait a minute,
00:40:12when I got pied,
00:40:13because I understand,
00:40:14I'm very lucky
00:40:15to have this forum
00:40:16come here every week
00:40:17on Top Gear
00:40:17and I say things.
00:40:18And I understand
00:40:19that if somebody's
00:40:20sitting at home
00:40:20and violently disagrees
00:40:21with what I say,
00:40:22it's really annoying.
00:40:24And this girl
00:40:24shoved a banoffee pie
00:40:26in my face.
00:40:27I was like,
00:40:27good shot.
00:40:29Because it was
00:40:29a damn good shot.
00:40:31And you punched him.
00:40:33But don't you understand
00:40:34as a politician
00:40:35that you've had
00:40:3513 years of basically
00:40:37doing what you want?
00:40:38I am subjected
00:40:39to what they call
00:40:40a vote,
00:40:40if they agree
00:40:41or disagree.
00:40:42Nevertheless,
00:40:42you had all of these years
00:40:43when you were allowed
00:40:44to do what you wanted
00:40:45and you hadn't.
00:40:45You must have known
00:40:46there were people
00:40:46sitting at home
00:40:47thinking,
00:40:47oh God,
00:40:47I wish they'd stop doing it.
00:40:49And so did you not
00:40:50understand that?
00:40:51Well, let me say,
00:40:52when I walk past this guy
00:40:53and he hits me
00:40:54with the egg, right,
00:40:55I don't know it's an egg.
00:40:56I just feel this very warm thing
00:40:58running down my neck
00:40:59and I think,
00:41:00well,
00:41:00I just think somebody's
00:41:01perhaps knifed me
00:41:02or assaulted me.
00:41:03You know,
00:41:03that all happens
00:41:04in split seconds.
00:41:05And I see this fellow
00:41:06built like a bloody barn door.
00:41:07And I turned
00:41:08and I reacted.
00:41:09And when Tony asked me
00:41:10what happened,
00:41:11I said I was carrying
00:41:12out his orders.
00:41:13You told us to connect
00:41:14with the electorate,
00:41:15so I did.
00:41:22I can't see,
00:41:23I can't see either
00:41:24of the Miliband brothers
00:41:25punching anybody.
00:41:27They look like people
00:41:27who come round
00:41:28to service your computer,
00:41:29those two.
00:41:30What's interesting,
00:41:31of course,
00:41:31is that we were told
00:41:32all through your tenure,
00:41:33well,
00:41:34in various different positions
00:41:35and Deputy Prime Minister
00:41:36and so on.
00:41:37You did like your cars.
00:41:39I mean,
00:41:39the newspapers
00:41:40called you two Jags.
00:41:42I only had one.
00:41:43You only had one Jag?
00:41:44I only owned one Jag.
00:41:45But you had one
00:41:46at a company car.
00:41:46Well,
00:41:47the government provided
00:41:48a car which came from
00:41:49a metal Jag.
00:41:49Oh, wait on.
00:41:50Well, hang on.
00:41:51Let's just wait on.
00:41:51I mean,
00:41:52I assume it's like
00:41:53me saying I had two houses.
00:41:54I had one house
00:41:55I owned and one car.
00:41:56Hey,
00:41:56that's an area
00:41:57I wouldn't get into.
00:41:58Two houses
00:41:58without clothes.
00:41:59Hey,
00:41:59I still only have
00:42:00one house,
00:42:02one job,
00:42:02one car.
00:42:03So has anybody here
00:42:04got a company car?
00:42:05Yeah.
00:42:06Put your hand up.
00:42:06You've got a company car.
00:42:08Right,
00:42:08so how many cars
00:42:09have you got?
00:42:10Two.
00:42:10No,
00:42:11none is the answer
00:42:11because it's...
00:42:12Anyway,
00:42:16you are a Jag man.
00:42:17Well,
00:42:17I think I am.
00:42:18I've had 11 Jaguars
00:42:19at the time.
00:42:19Is it really 11 Jag?
00:42:21Yeah.
00:42:21So we should have
00:42:22called you 11 Jag.
00:42:22Yeah.
00:42:24I made a disastrous
00:42:25attempt to move
00:42:26to Rover once.
00:42:27It was at the Rover TC.
00:42:28I thought,
00:42:28I'll try that.
00:42:29I liked,
00:42:30I admired their engineering.
00:42:32And then I found
00:42:32when I took it
00:42:33to the garage.
00:42:33It was two halves
00:42:34that had been welded
00:42:35together.
00:42:36Turned me off,
00:42:37Rover.
00:42:37That was the,
00:42:38yeah,
00:42:38no problem in those days.
00:42:39Right.
00:42:40Your lap.
00:42:41How was it?
00:42:43Well,
00:42:43I was a bit worried.
00:42:43I thought I was skiing
00:42:44rather than driving.
00:42:45It is a wet day.
00:42:46And,
00:42:47but the car,
00:42:48I must say,
00:42:49it was really impressive
00:42:50if it got into the speeds
00:42:51and into the corners,
00:42:52but I was a bit worried
00:42:53the puddles,
00:42:55the water,
00:42:56but if I got confidence
00:42:57in it,
00:42:57I enjoyed it.
00:42:58Who'd like to see
00:42:59Lord's,
00:43:00John Prescott's lap?
00:43:02Yeah.
00:43:02Here we go.
00:43:03Let's have a look.
00:43:06Like you look good
00:43:07in a helmet.
00:43:10Is that an awesome?
00:43:10Oh,
00:43:11you don't.
00:43:11I'm on the way.
00:43:15Is,
00:43:15are you in an automatic
00:43:16here or a manual?
00:43:17Yeah.
00:43:17Automatic.
00:43:18Automatic,
00:43:18which will be slower.
00:43:25Whoa,
00:43:26there she goes.
00:43:28Right,
00:43:28through the tyres.
00:43:30Here we go.
00:43:31That is soaking wet.
00:43:34Yeah,
00:43:34that was a bit fearful.
00:43:36It's not a bad little car,
00:43:37though.
00:43:37Oh, my God.
00:43:38This is really,
00:43:38this is a lot.
00:43:39Now,
00:43:40this is where
00:43:41we had to put cones
00:43:42out for you
00:43:42because you couldn't
00:43:43see the white lines.
00:43:45Yep,
00:43:45there are the cones
00:43:46to show you
00:43:47where to go.
00:43:50I can see
00:43:51why you made
00:43:51a 50 limit
00:43:52on the M4.
00:43:55You are allowed
00:43:55to go faster
00:43:56than that
00:43:57here on our track.
00:43:58Right,
00:43:59follow through.
00:43:59Did you lift off
00:44:00through there?
00:44:01Yeah,
00:44:01lift off.
00:44:02You did lift off.
00:44:03Put my foot
00:44:03on the brake.
00:44:07Hard to say
00:44:07how fast you're
00:44:08going.
00:44:08That just looked like
00:44:09a canal boat.
00:44:10So,
00:44:10here we are now,
00:44:11coming up to the
00:44:11second to last corner.
00:44:14It's a nice line in,
00:44:15that actually.
00:44:16Very smooth,
00:44:17very well done there.
00:44:18And,
00:44:20Gambon,
00:44:20got it right this time.
00:44:21Ooh,
00:44:21a little bit of tail
00:44:22coming out.
00:44:23Nicely held.
00:44:23And there we are,
00:44:24across the line.
00:44:29So,
00:44:29where do you think
00:44:34you've come on this
00:44:35magnificent board?
00:44:37Bottom.
00:44:38Bottom.
00:44:40So,
00:44:40you're not even
00:44:40trying to try and get
00:44:41onto Alistair Campbell,
00:44:441.47.
00:44:44Oh,
00:44:45it would be great to have
00:44:45beat him, yeah.
00:44:46No,
00:44:46you haven't.
00:44:49Well,
00:44:49John Prescott,
00:44:51you did it
00:44:51in one,
00:44:52what is the slowest time?
00:44:541.53.7,
00:44:56effectively.
00:44:57You did it
00:44:58in 1.50.
00:45:006.
00:45:037.
00:45:04Which is,
00:45:05by far and away,
00:45:07the slowest lap
00:45:08that we've ever had.
00:45:10I'll be aware.
00:45:14It's amazing,
00:45:15really.
00:45:16Well,
00:45:16now,
00:45:16it has been
00:45:22very interesting
00:45:24having you here today.
00:45:25I'm very,
00:45:27very glad you came here.
00:45:28It's something I,
00:45:28I thought would never happen.
00:45:30And I think you're very brave
00:45:31to come into in front of
00:45:32what is,
00:45:32let's be honest,
00:45:33an audience that's on my side,
00:45:35rightly so.
00:45:37Ladies and gentlemen,
00:45:38John Prescott.
00:45:46Jezero versus Preza.
00:45:47I like it.
00:45:50I thought I'm having
00:45:50an actual fight.
00:45:52Right,
00:45:52now,
00:45:53important moment,
00:45:54because,
00:45:54for the first time
00:45:55in, I think,
00:45:56two years,
00:45:57we are
00:45:58going to do
00:45:59the Cool War.
00:45:59Yeah!
00:46:01Look,
00:46:01here it is.
00:46:02Here it is.
00:46:03Here it is.
00:46:05And straight away,
00:46:06we can see that
00:46:07currents have blown
00:46:08certain BMWs
00:46:09right up here
00:46:10into
00:46:11super cool,
00:46:13sub-zero.
00:46:15Things like the Z4,
00:46:16the M3,
00:46:17the 1 Series,
00:46:17the 5 Series,
00:46:18they're right up there.
00:46:19Not all Beamers,
00:46:20though.
00:46:20This one,
00:46:20the 5 Series GT.
00:46:22There it is.
00:46:22There it is,
00:46:23down among the Audis.
00:46:25It's uncool.
00:46:26That's a horrible thing.
00:46:26It's like a sort of
00:46:27fat old auntie.
00:46:28You know,
00:46:28the one with
00:46:29terribly embarrassing
00:46:30flatulence
00:46:30that nobody there has mentioned.
00:46:32Call Marjorie.
00:46:32Yes,
00:46:33it should be that.
00:46:34Other changes?
00:46:35Other important things
00:46:35are,
00:46:36down here,
00:46:36a clutch of Super Minis,
00:46:37there's the actual Mini,
00:46:38the Fiat 500,
00:46:39Citroen DS3.
00:46:40These are all
00:46:41relatively inexpensive
00:46:42ways of looking
00:46:43seriously cool.
00:46:44Good cars.
00:46:44Now,
00:46:45what do we think of this?
00:46:46It's called
00:46:47the Nissan Juke.
00:46:49What's interesting
00:46:49is that you buy a car
00:46:50because you want
00:46:51something that's practical
00:46:52or something that's cheap.
00:46:53Can you not?
00:46:54Or something,
00:46:55you want something fast.
00:46:56How many people do you know
00:46:57say,
00:46:57I want to buy a car
00:46:58that's absolutely stupid?
00:47:01Because that's what this is.
00:47:02Do you not agree
00:47:03that is the stupidest
00:47:04thing in the world?
00:47:04It's ugly.
00:47:05It's ugly.
00:47:06There's a chap back here,
00:47:07though,
00:47:07I wonder.
00:47:07I'm just,
00:47:08you know your hat?
00:47:10You obviously like
00:47:14to go out in public
00:47:15looking ridiculous.
00:47:17So,
00:47:18do you like the Nissan Juke?
00:47:20I don't mind it,
00:47:20yeah.
00:47:20And so,
00:47:21what do you drive?
00:47:22A golf.
00:47:23Not a diesel?
00:47:25It is a diesel,
00:47:25yes.
00:47:26You'd look like that
00:47:27if you'd get a golf diesel.
00:47:28That's fantastic.
00:47:30Blend of,
00:47:31blend of many things
00:47:33going on there
00:47:34in that man's hat.
00:47:35Anyway,
00:47:35this is a hideously
00:47:36uncool car.
00:47:37And it goes down there
00:47:38and speaking,
00:47:39I'm sorry.
00:47:39Oh,
00:47:39yeah,
00:47:39what have you got there?
00:47:40This is the Renault Wint.
00:47:42Now,
00:47:42a couple of problems here.
00:47:43First of all,
00:47:43the name.
00:47:44Basically,
00:47:45it's a Renault fart,
00:47:46isn't it?
00:47:46It is,
00:47:47that's what they've done.
00:47:47And I suspect
00:47:48that supercar-looking body
00:47:49is writing checks
00:47:51that the rest of the car
00:47:52can't cash.
00:47:53But,
00:47:54this is the Gordini version,
00:47:55so it's got these stripes on it.
00:47:56And as we all know,
00:47:57things with stripes on are cool.
00:47:59Shelby Mustangs,
00:48:00tigers,
00:48:02toothpaste.
00:48:03James May's jumpers.
00:48:04No,
00:48:04that's not bad.
00:48:05As a result.
00:48:06Thank you very much.
00:48:06It's got stripes on it.
00:48:07Looks like James May's knitwear,
00:48:09so that goes there.
00:48:10What?
00:48:12Check it out.
00:48:13What is it,
00:48:13it's about to say?
00:48:14Toyota Yaris Verso.
00:48:17It's not good.
00:48:19This is for people
00:48:19whose lives are completely empty.
00:48:21They're looking forward,
00:48:22they're looking forward
00:48:23to the day they die,
00:48:25because it'll give them
00:48:25something to do.
00:48:27And they don't have sex anymore,
00:48:29because these days,
00:48:29you know,
00:48:30we prefer sherry.
00:48:31And they are utterly,
00:48:32utterly boring and catastrophic
00:48:34in every single way,
00:48:35and they bought this,
00:48:36and it's the worst car
00:48:37I've ever seen in my life,
00:48:38and it's going there.
00:48:39Ike,
00:48:39getting that off your chest.
00:48:41One thing,
00:48:42has sherry ever led to sex?
00:48:45Do you get sherry sex?
00:48:46Yes,
00:48:47I think you do.
00:48:48No,
00:48:48it's the one alcoholic drink
00:48:50that's never led to me.
00:48:50I will demonstrate sherry sex
00:48:52to any volunteers.
00:48:54Could you volunteer
00:48:54to have sherry sex with me?
00:48:56Oh, dear Lord,
00:48:57no,
00:48:57I can't.
00:48:57Just bear with me,
00:48:58okay, ready?
00:48:59No, you don't have to go
00:48:59very far, ready?
00:49:00We're going to have sex.
00:49:01This is keen.
00:49:01Sherry sex.
00:49:02You ready?
00:49:02Here we go.
00:49:04Good night.
00:49:07Sherry sex, right there.
00:49:11I need a cigarette now.
00:49:16And now we've got a problem with this.
00:49:18This is the Porsche 911 Carrera,
00:49:21what's it called?
00:49:21C2S.
00:49:21C2S.
00:49:22Yes.
00:49:23Now, we know the rules on the cool wall,
00:49:24okay?
00:49:24If one of us has a car,
00:49:25it's always uncool.
00:49:27Both,
00:49:28Hammond and May,
00:49:28own this car.
00:49:30That's,
00:49:30I don't think the board is long enough
00:49:32to be able to accommodate that.
00:49:34I'm just going to look at the direction.
00:49:36That's east, isn't it?
00:49:37Let's say that's east,
00:49:37that's west, yeah.
00:49:39Who lives west of here?
00:49:41Right,
00:49:41where do you live?
00:49:42Wiltshire.
00:49:43Wiltshire.
00:49:43Does anybody live further west
00:49:45than Wiltshire?
00:49:46Ireland.
00:49:47Ireland?
00:49:48Excellent.
00:49:49Could you do me a favour?
00:49:51Could you take that home
00:49:52and pop it on your gatepost?
00:49:55Thank you very much
00:49:56and then it will live there forevermore.
00:49:57No, those are the rules.
00:49:58I can't argue with that.
00:49:59They are the rules.
00:50:00Oh, what the?
00:50:01Can I offer,
00:50:02I'd like to proper this.
00:50:04Okay?
00:50:05What is it?
00:50:05It's a Morgan,
00:50:06the new Morgan three-wheeler.
00:50:07New?
00:50:08Yes, they're recreating
00:50:09the sort of three-wheeler runabout
00:50:10that launched the company
00:50:11a hundred years ago
00:50:12and it's magnificent.
00:50:13It's made of aluminium
00:50:14with a sort of modern recreation.
00:50:16No, it isn't.
00:50:17It isn't modern anything.
00:50:18It is.
00:50:19It isn't.
00:50:19It's modernised.
00:50:20No, you know everybody
00:50:21will have this, okay?
00:50:22You know the cupboard
00:50:23under your sink, okay?
00:50:24Which is full of wedding presents
00:50:25you never use.
00:50:27You're all familiar with that?
00:50:28That's the fish steamer
00:50:30you were given.
00:50:31It is.
00:50:32No, it's not this.
00:50:33It isn't.
00:50:34It is.
00:50:35It isn't.
00:50:36Well, it is.
00:50:37It's un...
00:50:37Well, it isn't.
00:50:39If you put that in cool,
00:50:40I'll put you in a drain.
00:50:45I have a chair
00:50:46and I'm not afraid to use it.
00:50:47I have a hammer.
00:50:49Right.
00:50:50Make your move, big fella.
00:50:52It's going in cool.
00:50:54Make your move.
00:50:55Come on.
00:50:55You know what this is,
00:50:56don't you?
00:50:57Awkward.
00:50:57This is a Mexican standoff.
00:51:02Right.
00:51:02It is now time for a small celebration
00:51:04because you see,
00:51:05this year marks
00:51:06the 40th birthday
00:51:07of the world's most expensive car.
00:51:10It had no doors,
00:51:22no roof,
00:51:24no windscreen.
00:51:26It produced just one horsepower
00:51:28and it had a couple of garden chairs
00:51:31for seats.
00:51:34And yet,
00:51:35the Lunar Rover,
00:51:36or moon buggy,
00:51:37cost 25 million pounds.
00:51:40And that was in 1971
00:51:41when a V12 E-type Jag
00:51:44cost less than 3,500.
00:51:46And in its short life,
00:51:47the moon buggy
00:51:48covered just 56 miles,
00:51:50which in Top Gear maths
00:51:51works out at about
00:51:52half a million quid per mile,
00:51:55although they were
00:51:56all on the moon.
00:52:00The moon buggy
00:52:01was used in three space missions.
00:52:04Man, oh man,
00:52:05what a grand prix this is.
00:52:07I tell you,
00:52:08she sure does a good job
00:52:10on this kind of train.
00:52:11And the short,
00:52:13bouncy journeys it made
00:52:14were about the most useful
00:52:15a car has ever undertaken.
00:52:19The moon buggy
00:52:20meant that the astronauts
00:52:22could explore more of the moon
00:52:23than they would have been able to
00:52:24do on foot.
00:52:25And that meant
00:52:26they could take more pictures,
00:52:28collect more rocks,
00:52:29drill for more samples,
00:52:30and generally get
00:52:31a better understanding
00:52:32of where the universe
00:52:34may have come from.
00:52:36However,
00:52:37in 1972,
00:52:39the moon missions
00:52:39were scrapped,
00:52:41which means that
00:52:41for the last 39 years,
00:52:43the only moon buggy
00:52:44you'll have seen
00:52:45on Earth
00:52:45has been in a museum.
00:52:50Until now.
00:52:54because, yes,
00:52:59it's back.
00:52:59this really is it,
00:53:14the moon buggy Mark II,
00:53:17a car for outer space.
00:53:19This is much more exciting
00:53:21than something like
00:53:21a Veyron SS
00:53:23or a Ferrari 458.
00:53:24those are just
00:53:26Earth cars.
00:53:28And because I am the one
00:53:29who goes by the name
00:53:30of Captain Buzz Slow,
00:53:32NASA have said
00:53:33I can drive it.
00:53:39Ha, ha, ha!
00:53:42There we are,
00:53:43we are flat out
00:53:44in the Lunar Rover Mark II.
00:53:46That's 10 miles an hour.
00:53:48The original Lunar Rover,
00:53:51that did 8 miles an hour
00:53:52until the astronauts
00:53:53got hold of it
00:53:53and they managed
00:53:54to push that up to 11.
00:53:55So who knows,
00:53:55this could get into the teens.
00:53:58I can't believe
00:53:59I'm being allowed to do this.
00:54:01I'm alone in it.
00:54:03Well,
00:54:04almost alone.
00:54:05Since moon buggy Mark II
00:54:07cost 4.5 million dollars,
00:54:09there was a car behind me
00:54:10containing some NASA heavies
00:54:12who could remotely shut it down
00:54:14if I did anything stupid.
00:54:15Absolutely fantastic
00:54:18control interface here.
00:54:20I've got this screen
00:54:21with touch buttons,
00:54:22loads of parameters
00:54:23I can fiddle with.
00:54:24Every single wheel
00:54:25is monitored.
00:54:26My heading,
00:54:26my direction,
00:54:28roll, pitch, yaw,
00:54:29all these things.
00:54:30If normal cars
00:54:31were as complicated as this,
00:54:32it'd be a lot more fun.
00:54:33Right, watch this
00:54:34for a really brilliant
00:54:35little Lunar Rover party trick.
00:54:38If I just push the joystick
00:54:39to the side,
00:54:40very slightly,
00:54:42there you can see
00:54:42that's not turning light,
00:54:44that's crabbing.
00:54:44How about that?
00:54:49What was that?
00:54:52You're driving straight
00:54:53out of the light bulb.
00:54:54Am I that close to it?
00:54:57Sorry.
00:55:00After an astronomical
00:55:02bollocking,
00:55:03I decided to concentrate
00:55:04on moon buggy pub trivia.
00:55:06This is the only vehicle
00:55:09of any type
00:55:09I've ever driven
00:55:10with two quoted weights,
00:55:12because here on Earth
00:55:13it weighs approximately
00:55:14four tonnes,
00:55:15but on the moon,
00:55:15of course,
00:55:16the gravity is only
00:55:17about a sixth
00:55:18of what we have here,
00:55:19so it weighs something
00:55:19like 760 kilograms.
00:55:22And they do have to think
00:55:23about that sort of thing.
00:55:25It will behave differently,
00:55:26and your senses
00:55:27will behave differently
00:55:28as well.
00:55:29The moon buggy
00:55:31has 12 wheels,
00:55:33powered by six motors,
00:55:35and they have
00:55:36a great party piece.
00:55:38Right,
00:55:38watch this.
00:55:39We are now crabbing
00:55:45exactly sideways.
00:55:49The eagle has parked.
00:55:54Sorry.
00:55:56Now, we have done
00:55:56a small amount
00:55:57of maths here.
00:55:58This is proper maths,
00:55:59not top gear maths,
00:56:00and we worked out
00:56:01that if every car in Britain
00:56:02could park like that
00:56:03and didn't have to leave
00:56:04a gap at each end,
00:56:05we'd save...
00:56:06Wait for it.
00:56:0710,000 miles
00:56:10of parking space.
00:56:12But since there's
00:56:13not really a problem
00:56:15with parking on the moon,
00:56:17those wheels,
00:56:18combined with
00:56:18an adjustable ride height,
00:56:20are designed primarily
00:56:21to be amazing
00:56:22off-road.
00:56:25Houston,
00:56:25we are go for rocks.
00:56:29You'll see
00:56:30when you're looking outside,
00:56:31each wheel set
00:56:32is working out
00:56:33where it's going
00:56:33and what it's doing,
00:56:34sort out the ride height,
00:56:36deal with the traction.
00:56:36It's extremely intelligent
00:56:38and has extremely
00:56:40powerful computers.
00:56:41The tyres themselves
00:56:43aren't quite so high-tech.
00:56:45They were chosen
00:56:45for their toughness
00:56:46and are from a crop sprayer.
00:56:50Ha-ha!
00:56:51Look at this.
00:56:54That's bags of torque.
00:56:56That's a four-ton vehicle
00:56:57climbing up a 30-degree slope.
00:57:01What a climb!
00:57:02Ha-ha-ha!
00:57:04What a ride!
00:57:06It is absolutely brilliant,
00:57:08this thing.
00:57:11Sorry.
00:57:14It's not just
00:57:15the moon buggy's
00:57:15off-road abilities
00:57:16that have moved on, either.
00:57:19You go for DOI.
00:57:20The original lunar rover
00:57:22had a very limited range
00:57:24because if it broke down,
00:57:25the astronauts had to be able
00:57:27to make it back
00:57:27to the lunar module
00:57:28on foot.
00:57:29But this one
00:57:32is more of a cosmic camper van.
00:57:36This is a space bed.
00:57:38There's another one
00:57:39that folds down here
00:57:40for your buddy.
00:57:40They're covered in memory foam,
00:57:42which was a NASA invention.
00:57:44There are privacy curtains here.
00:57:46There is an iPod dock.
00:57:47There's home cinema.
00:57:49Here is a space jahn.
00:57:51But sooner or later,
00:57:53you are going to get bored
00:57:54watching Apollo 13
00:57:55and you might want
00:57:56to go for a walk outside.
00:57:58And if you do,
00:57:59you have to exit
00:58:00through the rather
00:58:00unusual back door.
00:58:03Here we go.
00:58:04My feet are entering
00:58:06the suit.
00:58:08My gentleman's area
00:58:10is compressed
00:58:10by the crotch
00:58:12of the space suit.
00:58:13I have my hands
00:58:16in the space suit.
00:58:18Leak check complete.
00:58:22Closing the hatch
00:58:23in the lunar rover.
00:58:29That's quite a giant leap
00:58:30for a very unsteady man.
00:58:34I would now like
00:58:35to perform a short tribute
00:58:36to the late
00:58:38Alan Shepard Jr.,
00:58:41one of only 12 men
00:58:43to have walked
00:58:43on the moon
00:58:44and the only man
00:58:46to have done this.
00:58:49Houston,
00:58:51the eagle,
00:58:52is going for a birdie.
00:58:57There we go.
00:59:00Miles and miles and miles.
00:59:06I'd like to be
00:59:07deadly serious
00:59:08for a moment.
00:59:09This is
00:59:10the most fabulous vehicle
00:59:12I've ever driven.
00:59:14Ever.
00:59:15But there is a problem
00:59:16with it.
00:59:16It's not a technical problem.
00:59:18It's the president.
00:59:21He's cancelled all the funding
00:59:22for the next moon mission.
00:59:25Because that's what makes
00:59:26the ship go up.
00:59:27No bucks,
00:59:29no Buck Rogers.
00:59:30That means,
00:59:34if you're a kid,
00:59:35you'll never have the thrill
00:59:36of getting up
00:59:37in the middle of the night
00:59:38like I did
00:59:39to watch the funny little car
00:59:41hooning about
00:59:43on the moon.
00:59:44Yahoo!
00:59:45And that was all four wheels
00:59:48off the ground there.
00:59:49This is really some machine.
00:59:52This piece of film
00:59:53I'm watching now
00:59:54shows men
00:59:55leaving the surface
00:59:56of the moon
00:59:57for the last time.
00:59:59That's the ascent stage
01:00:01of the Apollo 17
01:00:02lunar module
01:00:03blasting off
01:00:04from the lunar surface.
01:00:05And that bit of film
01:00:06was captured
01:00:07with a remote camera
01:00:08mounted on the moon buggy.
01:00:10Which means, obviously,
01:00:12that the moon buggy
01:00:13was left behind.
01:00:16And it does make me
01:00:17sort of sad, really,
01:00:18to think of that amazing car
01:00:20being left up there
01:00:22gathering moon dust
01:00:23for eternity.
01:00:26But if you ask me,
01:00:28it's not half as sad
01:00:29as a moon buggy
01:00:30that will never go up there
01:00:31at all.
01:00:39I understand
01:00:40the financial
01:00:41consideration.
01:00:42But it is sad, isn't it?
01:00:43It is.
01:00:43It makes me sad.
01:00:44It is.
01:00:45I'll tell you what else
01:00:45is sad.
01:00:46That is not only
01:00:47the end of this show,
01:00:48it's the end
01:00:49of this series.
01:00:51Thank you very much
01:00:52for watching, though,
01:00:53and we'll see you again
01:00:54in June.
01:00:54Take care.
01:00:55Good night.
01:00:55Good night.
01:01:10Good night.
Recommended
1:06:47
|
Up next
1:11:24
Be the first to comment