- 2 months ago
In the Bolivia Special, Clarkson, Hammond and May purchase second-hand 4x4s and attempt to drive from the heart of the Bolivian jungle across the Andes to the Pacific coast of Chile. Facing altitude sickness, mud, and the deadly North Yungas “Death Road,” this is one of Top Gear’s most memorable adventures.
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Hello and welcome to a Top Gear special, which tonight comes to you from South America.
00:00:28Yeah, the brief was simple. Each of us would be given a pittance, and we were told we could buy any car we like from a second-hand car website in Bolivia.
00:00:38Yeah, and the only bit of advice we got, rather worryingly, was that it would be best if we chose a car with four-wheel drive.
00:00:45Yeah, we were then told we would be united with our cars somewhere around here in a place called Spider Town, right in the middle of the Amazon rainforest.
00:00:54These are the views that greeted us from our helicopter, except they're not, because the helicopter book for us had crashed.
00:01:06That meant we had to borrow these pictures from Bruce Parry's programme, and go to the start point in a boat, utterly bewildered by everything.
00:01:20Look at that purple tree!
00:01:22No, the butterfly's more amazing than your purple.
00:01:24No, the purple tree's the best!
00:01:25No!
00:01:26The butterfly was the size of a bat.
00:01:27There's another crocodile over there.
00:01:28It's not a crocodile, it's a lump of wood.
00:01:29Bird!
00:01:30Bird!
00:01:31We're close to the equator.
00:01:32We're very close to it.
00:01:33Perhaps we're on it.
00:01:34No, we can't.
00:01:35We would see a big dotted line.
00:01:36And we weren't the only fish out of water.
00:01:37It jumped in the boat.
00:01:38It jumped in the boat!
00:01:39In the boat!
00:01:40Actually, I've got it!
00:01:41I've got it with my knife!
00:01:42Ha-ha!
00:01:43Is that a piranha?
00:01:44It's not a piranha.
00:01:45They're long and thick.
00:01:46They're not!
00:01:47They're not like that!
00:01:48They're short and fat!
00:01:49No, no, they're short.
00:01:50Eventually, the boat dumped the three worst dictatorships in the boat.
00:01:53We're very close to it.
00:01:54We're very close to it.
00:01:55Perhaps we're on it.
00:01:56No, we can't.
00:01:57We can't.
00:01:58We can't.
00:01:59We can't.
00:02:00We can't.
00:02:01We can't.
00:02:02We can't.
00:02:03We can't.
00:02:04Probably the boat dumped the three worst explorers in history on a bank in the middle of nowhere
00:02:09and left.
00:02:10Have we just been abandoned here to die?
00:02:13What is it?
00:02:14What?
00:02:15Are those zips?
00:02:16Well, they're outdoor trousers.
00:02:17You can unzip the bottoms.
00:02:19I'm sorry.
00:02:20On the kit front, chaps.
00:02:22It's a goto-go jeans.
00:02:23That is my belt of many things.
00:02:25Are these all stuffed cages?
00:02:26What is that?
00:02:27Don't touch it.
00:02:28That's a dental healthcare kit.
00:02:29What's this?
00:02:30Don't touch it.
00:02:31Just us.
00:02:32That is a shoe polishing kit.
00:02:33What?
00:02:34It's a shoe polishing kit.
00:02:35Oh, thank God for that.
00:02:36If we get hungry, we'll be able to eat his kiwi boot polish.
00:02:39Basically, what you've done is buy my first explorer kit, put it all on your belt and...
00:02:43Don't touch it.
00:02:44Hammond then revealed a little secret.
00:02:46So all these insects, where are they?
00:02:48Why, are you frightened of insects?
00:02:50Yeah.
00:02:51Are you?
00:02:52Really?
00:02:53No, don't mess about it, seriously, I am.
00:02:54It's just that it's phobic.
00:02:55It's like you and heights, you know, and you're scared of falling off.
00:02:57You're just...
00:02:58You are scared of heights.
00:02:59Precisely.
00:03:00And that's a phobia.
00:03:01Well, this is the same.
00:03:02I just...
00:03:03What's yours?
00:03:04Phobia?
00:03:05Yeah.
00:03:06Manual labour, you know that.
00:03:07That's not a phobia, that's just bone-eyed.
00:03:08It is, that's different.
00:03:09Rubbish!
00:03:10That's not a clinical thing, that's just because you're lazy.
00:03:14Since we didn't know what to do, we sat down and did nothing.
00:03:17I'm sure there's spiders in it.
00:03:19There will be.
00:03:20Shhh!
00:03:21What?
00:03:22Is that in harmony with nature?
00:03:25Uh-oh.
00:03:26Stop playing ethnic tunes.
00:03:29Boys.
00:03:30Cars.
00:03:31No.
00:03:32No.
00:03:33No.
00:03:34No.
00:03:35No.
00:03:36No.
00:03:37No.
00:03:38No.
00:03:39No.
00:03:40No.
00:03:41Plainly, there had been a terrible mix-up, because one of the cars on the raft was a little Suzuki.
00:03:46None of us would have been that daft.
00:03:49But then we remembered, James was with us.
00:03:531.3 litre.
00:03:551.3 litre.
00:03:56Wine bar specials.
00:03:57Famous for being able to stay on their own four-wheel.
00:03:59No, no, no.
00:04:00Falling over.
00:04:01Falling over.
00:04:02I presume then the Land Cruiser, by power of deduction, is yours.
00:04:05Yes, it is.
00:04:06Correct choice.
00:04:07Everyone will agree.
00:04:08And you have, if my eyes are not deceiving me, a Range Rover.
00:04:12The best 4x4 are by far, as we know.
00:04:16I had one of those.
00:04:17Yeah, classic.
00:04:18I had one as well.
00:04:19Yeah.
00:04:20Did yours ever work?
00:04:22No.
00:04:23How is that raft steering itself?
00:04:26There's a little boat behind it, look.
00:04:28The driver of the little boat pushed the raft vaguely near the bank.
00:04:33Right.
00:04:34Well, we can get...
00:04:35No, don't do that.
00:04:36Don't pull it back.
00:04:37We need to get it...
00:04:38And then went home.
00:04:39Is that him just gone?
00:04:40Yep.
00:04:41Oi!
00:04:42You haven't parked it!
00:04:49We tried to pull the raft nearer to the bank, but it was very difficult.
00:04:53Right.
00:04:54Heave!
00:04:55It's not moving!
00:04:56So we gave up.
00:04:57Right, that's it, lads.
00:04:58Up the gangplank.
00:05:00Yep.
00:05:01Ouch!
00:05:02There's a thing there.
00:05:03It's not a rope.
00:05:04We are good.
00:05:05It's like literally being with Levingston.
00:05:06Yeah.
00:05:07And...
00:05:08Do you wonder how that would help?
00:05:12Probably quite painful.
00:05:13It was.
00:05:14Don't worry, I'm all right.
00:05:16Eventually, even Indiana Clarkson was on board.
00:05:20So we could get our first look at what we'd bought from the Bolivian classifieds.
00:05:24Notoriously long-lived, sturdy, reliable, small, agile.
00:05:29What did it say in the advert in the Bolivian Autotrader?
00:05:32Well, I'll tell you what it did show in the picture.
00:05:34What?
00:05:35That it was blue.
00:05:36Did it say in the advert that all four tyres would be pumped up?
00:05:41No.
00:05:44Oh, bloody hell.
00:05:45Well, we did buy these long distance.
00:05:47The only thing saggier than my tyre was Hammond's roof.
00:05:51It wasn't always a convertible, was it?
00:05:53No, it's been converted.
00:05:54It's been converted to a convertible.
00:05:55I think it was...
00:05:56It's been converted by somebody who is A, of Spanish descent and B, a communist.
00:06:00It's a tasty car all round.
00:06:01I'm very pleased.
00:06:02Oh, I like the see-through, like this.
00:06:04The window's not here, it's here, and there's no winder.
00:06:07I don't need one.
00:06:08It's hot.
00:06:10To demonstrate what fools the others had been, I showed them the beating heart of my mighty Range Rover.
00:06:17Behold, gentlemen, the 3.9-litre V8 engine.
00:06:223.9, yeah?
00:06:243.9.
00:06:25They had injection, didn't they, Hammond, the 3.9?
00:06:27Yes, all of them were fuel-injected.
00:06:29What are those on the top?
00:06:31I believe they're carburettors.
00:06:33They look like carburettors.
00:06:35They are carburettors.
00:06:36They are carburettors.
00:06:37They are carburettors.
00:06:38That carburettor 3.9 made us a 3.5.
00:06:40It said in the advert it was a 3.9.
00:06:42Well, it said mine was blue.
00:06:43Yeah.
00:06:44Okay, so there's some issues.
00:06:45Well, you'll be opening the bonnet a lot, I'll tell you.
00:06:47I won't.
00:06:48You will.
00:06:49That's what killed these off globally.
00:06:50Why does everywhere, all over the world, wherever you are, and anywhere inhospitable and difficult
00:06:54use a Toyota Land Cruiser?
00:06:56First Aztec bird we come across, she'll make a beeline for me in this.
00:07:00Yeah.
00:07:01Okay.
00:07:02We could have continued arguing, but we had to leap ashore.
00:07:06Well, come on then.
00:07:08Because our challenge had arrived.
00:07:11Thank you very much.
00:07:13Okay, it says you are in Bolivia and you will drive to the Pacific Ocean, which is 1,000 miles away.
00:07:22So we have to go 1,000 miles, this jungle in the way.
00:07:28And the jungle would just be the start of it.
00:07:31Because on our journey we'd have to negotiate active volcanoes, utterly lifeless deserts and perilous mountain passes.
00:07:39But before all that, we had to get our cars off the raft.
00:07:46Which, as you can plainly see, would not be easy.
00:07:51Clearly!
00:07:52Oh, come on!
00:07:56Trying to move the raft soon led to a problem.
00:07:59Holy moly!
00:08:01I am sinking.
00:08:02Yeah.
00:08:03It's getting deeper.
00:08:04Pull yourself out.
00:08:05I cannot pull myself out.
00:08:08Every time the bubbles come out, you go in deeper.
00:08:10I know.
00:08:11That's brilliant.
00:08:12Oh, God, no.
00:08:16As I sank into the ooze, my colleagues became increasingly concerned.
00:08:21These plums are in the Amazon location.
00:08:23I wouldn't mind.
00:08:24Can you go and get a rope?
00:08:26Or something?
00:08:27Just to try round my waist.
00:08:28All right, we'll get something to...
00:08:31Eventually, and rather reluctantly, they decided to pull me out with my Range Rover.
00:08:35Hammond!
00:08:36Yes?
00:08:37What are you bloody doing?
00:08:38You want a proper knot, don't you?
00:08:40No!
00:08:41Just any old knot.
00:08:42Will it start?
00:08:44Oh.
00:08:47Start!
00:08:48You brought the wrong car.
00:08:51Ah, ha, ha!
00:08:53Backwards!
00:08:55Pull!
00:08:56Pull!
00:08:57You coming up?
00:08:58Yes.
00:08:59Oh, yes.
00:09:00Ow!
00:09:01Say when.
00:09:02Here we go.
00:09:03Yes.
00:09:04Ow, my arm parts.
00:09:05Ow.
00:09:06Did you loosen off?
00:09:07Yes.
00:09:08Stop, stop, stop.
00:09:09Stop.
00:09:10So, as we can see, my car's best.
00:09:11Well, I mean, it didn't let you down there, mate, when it really mattered.
00:09:13Trying to move the raft had resulted in nothing more than some muddy tide marks on my trousers.
00:09:18Your jeans are ruined.
00:09:21And so, with half the day gone, we had to come up with a new plan.
00:09:25You know, in the Second World War, when the submarine was grounded, when it had hit the bottom,
00:09:30they used to get the crew to run backwards and forwards and it would sort of shuffle it along until it...
00:09:35So, what, you're suggesting we run backwards and forwards on the boat?
00:09:38No, no, no.
00:09:39Use the cars.
00:09:40If we go right to the back of the boat, that weighs the back down to lift the front up.
00:09:45We then charge forward.
00:09:46The act of doing that will shuffle the boat nearer to that bank.
00:09:50That's a good idea.
00:09:52All we needed to do then was back our cars up a bit.
00:09:58Oh, no.
00:09:59Hammond?
00:10:00Has anybody got any jump leads?
00:10:01You're joking?
00:10:02Seriously.
00:10:03It won't start.
00:10:04Just... just want to get this completely clear again.
00:10:07Range Rover starting, working well.
00:10:09Already saved a man's life.
00:10:11Land Cruiser, broken down.
00:10:15Oh, smoke, smoke, smoke. Quite a lot of smoke.
00:10:17Something's on fire.
00:10:18Smoke, smoke, smoke.
00:10:19It's the starter motors burnt out.
00:10:21Despite using the correct technique, Hammond couldn't get his car going.
00:10:26It's on fire again.
00:10:28And so, with the sun sinking, I offered to help.
00:10:32Why don't we simply attach it to the back of the Range Rover and I'll give you a pull from here?
00:10:37Because I'd rather drown myself, but, yeah, it's all right.
00:10:40What's that noise?
00:10:46Insects!
00:10:47Massive insects.
00:10:48Millions of them.
00:10:49Just hurry up, quickly.
00:10:50Go forwards.
00:10:51Mind your head, Jerry.
00:10:52Mind your head, mind your head.
00:10:54As the light faded, we lined up for the most ambitious jump start in history.
00:10:59And stop.
00:11:00Three, two, one, go.
00:11:11Sorry.
00:11:12What did you do that for?
00:11:13My brakes aren't very good.
00:11:14Did it work?
00:11:15No.
00:11:16Try again.
00:11:17What happened?
00:11:18Nothing.
00:11:19And stop.
00:11:20Three, two, one, go.
00:11:38Try again.
00:11:39The good thing about Range Rover is this, they can do this all night.
00:11:42Yes, yes.
00:11:43When this thing starts, it'll be brilliant.
00:11:48The morning light revealed our progress.
00:11:52Set wrap.
00:11:54Everything we tried in the night didn't work.
00:11:57But we have found peanuts.
00:12:00Rather embarrassingly, James then discovered something.
00:12:04These planks are longer than that one we've been falling down constantly.
00:12:07If you get in here, Hammond, and grab the other end of this.
00:12:09Are they long enough to...
00:12:10They're two together, Will.
00:12:13Soon, we had a ramp.
00:12:15And our first car was ready to disembark.
00:12:19Watch the long-haired man.
00:12:24Let's see his back wheels on.
00:12:25Don't stand there.
00:12:27Do you want us to help you?
00:12:28You're all right.
00:12:30You're all right this side.
00:12:31You're all right.
00:12:33Yes!
00:12:35Oh.
00:12:36Four-wheel drive you.
00:12:37It is four-wheel drive you halfway.
00:12:38Well, why are the front wheels not doing anything?
00:12:40Don't tell me they don't work.
00:12:42Try again.
00:12:43Say when on the...
00:12:44Careful, Phil.
00:12:45Oh, that's not good.
00:12:47That's stuck now.
00:12:49The whole weight of James' three-wheel drive Suzuki was resting on our ramp.
00:12:54So, we had to build another ramp.
00:12:58You're all right?
00:12:59Right.
00:13:00Range Rover, British Engineering, don't let me down.
00:13:03Tiny tickle of last.
00:13:07Poo is coming out.
00:13:10Here we go!
00:13:11There you go!
00:13:16Now that's what I call four-wheel drive!
00:13:21Having rescued a man from the ooze, the mighty Range Rover would now rescue the Suzuki.
00:13:27There's only an ounce to pull.
00:13:29Please be gentle with this, Jeremy, and not a yob.
00:13:32Power!
00:13:33Power!
00:13:36Got him.
00:13:38Stop, stop, stop, stop!
00:13:39Yes, that's it!
00:13:42What a pillock.
00:13:45I then lined up to pull the brakeless, powerless Toyota down the ramp.
00:13:50We were supposed to be averaging 100 miles a day.
00:13:55So far, we've done, well, I've done, about 20 feet.
00:14:02I'm ready!
00:14:03No!
00:14:04Right, he's ready. Gently.
00:14:05Oh, dear God.
00:14:06Go.
00:14:16Stop!
00:14:19Finally, we were all off the raft, and as a reward, the producers gave us a box of things to help us survive the perils that lay ahead.
00:14:34Chainsaw, that's good, that's useful.
00:14:37What is this?
00:14:39I don't know what that is, that's a winch.
00:14:41Some rubber tubing.
00:14:43Durex.
00:14:45Vaseline.
00:14:47Tampax.
00:14:49And, er, Viagra.
00:14:51I know we're going to be in the jungle a bit together, but that's a bit extreme.
00:14:54What kind of party are they planning?
00:14:56We loaded up the Ann Summers box.
00:14:58Power!
00:15:00Jump-started Hammond's car.
00:15:03Is that working?
00:15:05Now you're going to see!
00:15:07Go! Fire it up, jungle!
00:15:09And got cracking.
00:15:10The jungle was a worthy adversary.
00:15:22Wow!
00:15:25But for hour after hour, we battled our way through.
00:15:34Do you want more?
00:15:35Do you want more?
00:15:36This is your marker!
00:15:40Rainforest!
00:15:41Shit!
00:15:42Good job!
00:15:46Oh!
00:15:49Guys, I left my phone down by the river.
00:15:52Oh, God.
00:15:54Dead stick.
00:15:55I'm going to have to go and get it.
00:15:56Just wait here, okay?
00:15:57Wait here.
00:15:58I'll go get it.
00:15:59Take care.
00:16:01Oh, mate.
00:16:03Finally.
00:16:04We are making progress.
00:16:06Hammond!
00:16:07Yeah?
00:16:08Did I leave it on that rock?
00:16:10No, it was on the stump I tied the raft to.
00:16:13Just find a rock.
00:16:15Okay.
00:16:16Got it.
00:16:17Good.
00:16:18Let's move!
00:16:19Now we're making progress.
00:16:20Let's keep up the momentum.
00:16:22Soon we found a logging track where finally we could get to know our cars.
00:16:27Time to find out what is working on my Range Rover.
00:16:31All these dials in the middle made by Smets, so no.
00:16:35Speedo, no.
00:16:38The Range Rover was designed by a man called Charles Spencer King, who was no question a genius.
00:16:44Unfortunately, it was then made in the Minkies.
00:16:49Just that'll do.
00:16:51Everything was that'll do.
00:16:54An unbelievable piece of design ruined by Minkies.
00:17:00That said, however, I seem to have bought the only 1980s Range Rover in the world that works.
00:17:06Given that Land Cruisers are legendarily reliable and bulletproof, this one isn't.
00:17:17Full pressure gauge, not working.
00:17:19Temperance gauge, not working.
00:17:21Fuel gauge, I don't know.
00:17:24Brakes, not working.
00:17:26That makes this one more special.
00:17:27I have bought the only malfunctioning Land Cruiser in the world.
00:17:33And it is unique and therefore, I think, probably priceless.
00:17:40Sure, my Suzuki only had three-wheel drive, but I wasn't going to let that tiny detail spoil the day.
00:17:47You're probably looking at this Suzuki and thinking, it's small and comical, it's a toy off-roader, it's for hairdressers and all the rest of it.
00:17:55But I'll tell you what it is.
00:17:57It's flaky.
00:17:59It's a bit like Finland in the war.
00:18:01Look at Jeremy's Range Rover, lumbering along.
00:18:04This great, heavy beast of burden.
00:18:07This is like a little mountain goat, it just skips along.
00:18:10Talk of the devil.
00:18:11Hello.
00:18:12Just to let you know, one of your rear lights is hanging off, but it's okay, I can mend it for you with the small Phillips on my belt.
00:18:18The voice there of the missing member of Van Halen.
00:18:31Darkness fell, but the temperature didn't.
00:18:35How can it be this hot at midnight? How's that possible?
00:18:39Hammond, however, had more to worry about than the heat.
00:18:44What the f*** is that?
00:18:46Oh, there's something in here squeaking at me.
00:18:49I'm, I'm, I'm, oh.
00:18:53Oh, oh, what is that?
00:18:56Oh, f***. I can't stand that. I can't stand that. I've got to get out.
00:19:01Blashford Hammond insisted we made camp. Where to cheer him up, I read some bedtime stories.
00:19:10This is a book about all the creatures that live in the rainforest that Mr Sting hasn't told us about.
00:19:17Would you like to hear about the Brazilian wandering spider?
00:19:22Not really, no.
00:19:25Causes around five human fatalities a year.
00:19:29Lives on the forest floor.
00:19:34What is that?
00:19:36Head talked. I'm looking for, well, what's it called, wandering spiders?
00:19:39Oh, the botfly. Now, this is a marvellous thing.
00:19:42The botfly cannot sting a human directly, but captures smaller insects.
00:19:46Lays its larvae upon them and then releases them.
00:19:50If the smaller host insect then bites the human, the botfly larvae are impregnated into the skin.
00:19:57The larvae then pupates inside the skin, at which point they eat their way out and fly away.
00:20:02The BBC Natural History Unit reports the case of a man who was bitten behind the ear and kept awake at night by the sound of the botfly larvae eating the flesh inside his head.
00:20:15Hammond didn't have a good night.
00:20:18What's that?
00:20:20Stuck insects!
00:20:23Honestly, there's been things on my head.
00:20:25Oh, what is that?
00:20:27There's something just floating in my hair and it's squeaking at me.
00:20:29It's big. It's really big.
00:20:30And to be honest, he didn't have a great morning either.
00:20:36Who has done this?
00:20:42To get away from the creepy crawlies, I sought refuge in my car.
00:20:47Okay.
00:20:49Guys!
00:20:51Oh, there is a snake in your car.
00:20:53Ah! He's coming up here.
00:20:55Yep.
00:20:56It's known locally as the big vicious killer snake.
00:20:58Thanks.
00:21:02Our raggedy convoy hit the trail with Hammond still moaning.
00:21:06Come on, who's got my trouser leg?
00:21:08Has your trouser leg gone missing?
00:21:10We soldiered on with the ranger over up front, forging a path through the dense jungle.
00:21:16Look at it.
00:21:17Rescuing other cars, ploughing through here.
00:21:21My sweat being soaked up by the vloer.
00:21:27But soon, the strain of point duty began to show.
00:21:30This is now smelling hot, this car.
00:21:38I just smelled Jeremy's Range Rover from back here.
00:21:41It smells of imminent failure.
00:21:44I was right.
00:21:45Range Rover's just stopped working.
00:21:49That honestly wasn't very funny three series ago, and it really isn't funny now.
00:21:59I'm not doing it on purpose.
00:22:02No, I haven't got any brakes.
00:22:03That's how I stop.
00:22:07Oh, dear.
00:22:09Oh, no.
00:22:10It's James. He's overheated.
00:22:12Oh, what a rotten bit of luck.
00:22:14Missing.
00:22:16Broken.
00:22:17Yeah.
00:22:18Your fault.
00:22:19Because I have been forging a path through this stuff.
00:22:22Bamboo has gone into it, broken my fan, and now my engine's overheating.
00:22:26The plucky Brit has wounded itself, helping you out.
00:22:30Your plucky British car has been defeated by a piece of, what was it?
00:22:33Bamboo.
00:22:34How did it get in there anyway?
00:22:36What sort of a design is that if a piece of bamboo can get up there and break the fan?
00:22:40Bamboo.
00:22:42Without this, would you still be on the boat?
00:22:44Yes, you would.
00:22:45Yes.
00:22:46And you'd still be on the riverbank.
00:22:47Yes.
00:22:48This is the hero of the day.
00:22:49No, I'm not.
00:22:50No, no.
00:22:51We passed the time by bickering until the engine had cooled down.
00:22:55I love a V8.
00:22:56It's nice.
00:22:58It's very mighty.
00:23:03Yes!
00:23:05The mighty Spitfire is down, but not out.
00:23:11We battled on through the undergrowth.
00:23:15There.
00:23:16That's a gear.
00:23:30I did that without breaking anything.
00:23:32Whoa!
00:23:33Eventually, Hammond and May stopped.
00:23:44Sorry!
00:23:46Because we had reached a small gully.
00:23:49That's pretty steep.
00:23:51What?
00:23:52That's a bit of a gully, I think they call it.
00:23:54I was gonna drive down out the other side.
00:23:55drive down and up the other side?
00:23:57No, you can't.
00:23:59What is the biggest strength with a Range Rover?
00:24:01The wheel hits the bottom before the front of the car.
00:24:04If you look at a Porsche Cayenne or your car,
00:24:07there's about 18 feet of car in front of the wheels.
00:24:10This car cannot do that.
00:24:11It won't make that return.
00:24:13Part your angle, you won't do it.
00:24:14Stand back, watch, and learn.
00:24:18If you believe something will happen, it will happen.
00:24:21Low range.
00:24:23That was reverse.
00:24:25Pointless handbrake off.
00:24:35Oh, no.
00:24:37Oh, brilliant.
00:24:39Yeah, so you're now stuck in a hole.
00:24:41Just look at this.
00:24:42Just... just...
00:24:44You crazy, dozy, woolly-head pillock.
00:24:48It's going to need winching out, you know that.
00:24:50I knew that a while back.
00:24:51I fired up the winch on my Suzuki.
00:24:54James?
00:24:55Winch me up.
00:24:56Is it moving?
00:24:57It's coming.
00:24:58Yeah, it's trying hard.
00:24:59Come on.
00:25:00It is coming free.
00:25:01Guys?
00:25:02Oh, my God.
00:25:03James?
00:25:04It won't stop.
00:25:05That didn't work.
00:25:06Go on, then.
00:25:07Drive it out.
00:25:08It won't drive it out.
00:25:09It won't drive out.
00:25:10It is well.
00:25:11It is well.
00:25:12Mystic Hammond was right.
00:25:14That nearly worked.
00:25:16At last, my Toyota could regain some dignity, first pulling out the Suzuki and then the idiot's Range Rover.
00:25:23Range Rover.
00:25:24Woo-hoo!
00:25:25I'm hanging.
00:25:26I'm hanging.
00:25:27Look at my little donkey pulling the Range Rover out.
00:25:29Ha-ha-ha-ha.
00:25:30We realised we'd have to build a bridge.
00:25:31We realised we'd have to build a bridge.
00:25:32Which made one of us very ignorant.
00:25:34He couldn't help the Porsche.
00:25:35Here we go, what are the representatives?
00:25:38Guys are like, what do you think is this chase?
00:25:41Hmm?
00:25:42This a race race race race race race race race-by- Puppy, sort ofer to be again-
00:25:52To the Velocity?
00:25:54Well, that's what one was carrying from my sage race-by- Kinds-by-Sover.
00:25:57The recycling machine, well humans did not shuffle with them too, right?
00:26:01One of us very excited.
00:26:03I am the God of Hellfire!
00:26:06Has he got a chainsaw?
00:26:08Oh, yes!
00:26:10Oh, no.
00:26:19We set about building our bridge.
00:26:22And since James had the lightest car, Jeremy and I decided he should go first.
00:26:33I declare this. Ready, steady, strong. Get in your car, drive over.
00:26:46Looks like your back wheels are beautiful, actually. I think you're about right from this side.
00:26:50What James really needed at this point was clear instructions from us two.
00:26:55If anything, a little bit of left. A little bit of left, James.
00:26:58I'm sorry, on this side, I would say not left.
00:27:01You're left or right?
00:27:03James, what I do at this point is power. Maximum power.
00:27:08You're going to need to engage.
00:27:10There you go. There you go.
00:27:16Now we're talking. There you go.
00:27:18Eventually, the three-wheel drive Suzuki made it.
00:27:23So then, as night fell, it was Jeremy's turn in the much heavier and much wider Range Rover.
00:27:32Whoa!
00:27:33Left hand down. Honestly, you need to be...
00:27:35Just think of it, Jeremy, as going on the outer log on this side.
00:27:38It's not looking good from where I am.
00:27:40No, I imagine not.
00:27:41I can't see the back wheel.
00:27:44It's all right. Keep going.
00:27:45I think.
00:27:47You're about to touch down.
00:27:54Nice work.
00:27:56Whoa!
00:27:57God almighty, that was scary.
00:27:59As I lined up, it was almost completely dark.
00:28:04Hammond, I'm afraid we simply can't see anything. We don't know.
00:28:11Left a bit.
00:28:12This is quite friday.
00:28:14Stop. Stop.
00:28:16Oh, I've got no brakes.
00:28:17Hang on. Hang on.
00:28:18Come on.
00:28:23Whoa!
00:28:24Right.
00:28:25You've got the front wheels on, mate.
00:28:27Make it so.
00:28:28Let's see if this is as good.
00:28:31Lovely.
00:28:33Oh, that feels good!
00:28:38We drove on through the night with the charms of the rainforest starting to wear quite thin.
00:28:44It is extraordinary if you think about it.
00:28:47In South America, there are no elephants, kangaroos, lions, hyenas, honey badgers.
00:28:54There's nothing interesting at all.
00:28:56It's all just insects designed to make you have a debilitating, agonizing death.
00:29:04I'd love to know how hot this engine is.
00:29:06Very is what I'm thinking.
00:29:08So, when we made camp that night, I decided to cut some vents in the bonnet.
00:29:23Jamie, my car's on fire!
00:29:24Oh, it's purely.
00:29:25I've only got so much, I'm drunk.
00:29:27There's a fire signature in the car.
00:29:29Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:29:30You set my car on fire.
00:29:31I haven't got my glasses.
00:29:32Pull the bloody pin out!
00:29:33You burned my Toyota!
00:29:36Yeah.
00:29:38Right.
00:29:39Day three.
00:29:40Four.
00:29:41Oh.
00:29:42Oh, it clings.
00:29:43It acts...
00:29:44Ugh.
00:29:45Icky.
00:29:46Ladies and gentlemen, David Lee Roth in the morning.
00:29:48Here he is.
00:29:49James.
00:29:50What we've done...
00:29:51Don't do that.
00:29:52What we've done, James.
00:29:53What we've done, don't do that.
00:29:54What we've done, James, was accidentally camped on a road.
00:29:59Yeah.
00:30:01What is this?
00:30:03What's this?
00:30:04What we've done, James, was accidentally camped on a road?
00:30:07Yeah.
00:30:08What is this?
00:30:09What's this?
00:30:11What is it?
00:30:13What's it?
00:30:14What it does?
00:30:15What we've done, don't do that. What we've done, James, is to accidentally camp on a road.
00:30:29And we're camping on the A1.
00:30:45I can't remember if I took my malaria pill this morning.
00:30:49If I were a girl, I'd be pregnant a lot.
00:30:53If you're watching this in Smell-O-Vision, viewers, then I apologise because the smell in here is disgusting. It's me.
00:30:59I absolutely reek.
00:31:02Luckily, we then got a shower.
00:31:10Well, one of us did.
00:31:13Hammonds?
00:31:15How wet are you getting in this rain?
00:31:19No, it's not bad, actually.
00:31:22It's quite a lot wetter here.
00:31:25How can the rain be heavier over there than it is over here?
00:31:31That's a river.
00:31:34It was indeed a river, and one that we'd have to cross, which meant we'd have to use stuff from the Ann Summers' chest to waterproof our cars.
00:31:43Right.
00:31:45These are condoms.
00:31:47Do you two need some time to yourselves?
00:31:50Have you got those Tampax?
00:31:52What are you planning for this?
00:31:55OK, look, I'll tell you my big problem.
00:31:57It's my fuel filler cap.
00:31:58Water gets in there.
00:31:59I know that's there.
00:32:00You're in a lot of trouble, yeah.
00:32:01So I'm thinking if I put a Tampax in there, it'll expand widthways, and I've seen the adverts, then I'll be able to go rollerblading with a poodle, or drive a ranger over through a river in the Amazon Delta.
00:32:13James was suspiciously skillful with the Vaseline and the Condoms, and soon we were ready to enter the river.
00:32:21Now, do I follow in Hammond's wheel marks on the basis that we know how deep it is, or do I think he's an incompetent fool and go somewhere else?
00:32:40As it turned out, I was an incompetent fool.
00:32:46That's looking deep!
00:32:50Please keep going, little donkey. Swim.
00:32:53Swim.
00:32:55Swim.
00:32:57There you go.
00:32:59This is when suddenly the Land Cruiser comes into its own.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:03There's maybe more comfortable things that will get you there, but the Land Cruiser will always get you home.
00:33:08Meanwhile...
00:33:12It stopped!
00:33:14Water's coming into my car!
00:33:17Oh.
00:33:18This caused problems for James.
00:33:21You're going to have to go round the outside.
00:33:23Straight ahead there. I'll tell you when to go right-hand down.
00:33:27Good.
00:33:28There.
00:33:29Oh, God!
00:33:34Cock!
00:33:36Good, good. That's two. Good, good.
00:33:38Okay.
00:33:39Why did you tell me to go- Why did I listen to you, you imbecile?
00:33:43Rather than accept another winch from the Toyota, the Range Rover decided to start on its own.
00:33:52Ha-ha!
00:33:54Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:33:55Thus removing the obstacle James had been trying to avoid when he got stuck.
00:34:00How does that work out? He's dragging it even deeper.
00:34:03Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:34:05Oh, it's floating!
00:34:07There's a lot of bubbles came out of your petrol filler cabinet.
00:34:10That's just air.
00:34:12I know, but they've been replaced with water.
00:34:13water this whole episode made james very angry if you hadn't tried to be clever and if your car
00:34:19wasn't so unreliable you wouldn't have stopped i wouldn't have had to go around the outside in my
00:34:23small off-roader and i wouldn't have sunk unreliable which one's got the engine on
00:34:29it's still started again mine will start again the rainforest is just getting worse
00:34:37but i'll tell you something if you look over there would you not think it's getting thinner
00:34:43it was and soon our battered cars emerged from the trees
00:34:55at last we were out of the spider-infested sweat box
00:35:02but 10 minutes later james and richard wished they were back in it
00:35:06stop it
00:35:21just ask me this simple question how comfortable are you two right now
00:35:25you know it's absolutely lovely it's like a big feather mattress i really am oh yeah relaxing yeah
00:35:36oh jesus i want to break james's spine there'll be two ted nugents in a minute
00:35:42i'm so sick of that noise stop rattling at me
00:35:53we spent the night in a town where there were baths and bedrooms
00:36:22and then we hit the road once more
00:36:27well here we are this is cocaine country kate moss's delicatessen
00:36:36obviously we can't simply drive through this uh this region without registering our
00:36:41disgust at the vile and reprehensible drugs trade that brings misery to so many millions
00:36:52that's what we're trying to do here
00:36:57yeah i don't think he's quite understood what we're trying to do here
00:37:02hammond are you feeling ashamed of yourself
00:37:04there was an opportunity i took it i think that was quite good thinking but what about the untold
00:37:09misery to millions it's the untold misery to millions are the ratings really that good
00:37:14as we left town we started to climb and that was a problem for the range rover
00:37:25every time we go up any form of gradient for any period of time the engine gets
00:37:31very very warm uh still nothing's working apart from the d-mist soon the engine became so hot i had to
00:37:39get radical the scope of my engineering genius literally knows no bounds because as you can see
00:37:47the vents i cut in the bonnet are now windows so i can see where i'm going the engine is cool all is well
00:38:00sooner or later jeremy will have to admit that the range rover isn't working properly
00:38:05we were now only 110 miles from the pass but between us and it was the campione del moetti
00:38:12death road the most dangerous highway in the world over the years the sheer unguarded drops have
00:38:23claimed hundreds of lives and to make matters worse captain terrified of height
00:38:29didn't really have the car for the job james yes i don't know about the rear suspension design
00:38:37on a suzuki the shock absorber is traditionally attached at both ends that's not absorbing shocks
00:38:41which means it's bouncing around on the spring but that does affect your control quite badly not
00:38:46having a shock can i can i just tell you i'm glad you said that up here hammond on the favorite road
00:38:51hang on before you go what i genuinely don't like heights okay it's it's it's my biggest failing
00:38:57among many i accept you know that you drive into the back of my car and it's a very funny joke
00:39:03you don't want it to happen well you want me to drive into it no no i'll cut your head off you
00:39:08will need a beep there bbc two yeah i can understand seriously
00:39:17uh my car is is perfect in every way apart from it not starting so could you um if you wouldn't mind
00:39:25push me a little bit so you want me to push your car with my car now on this road here yes there's no
00:39:33alternative okay well here i come careful careful careful oh it wasn't as careful as it could have been
00:39:40sorry pretty soon we saw why the road had earned its name god almighty that is high
00:40:03that is a massive massive drop
00:40:16this is insane
00:40:20whoa okay the grasses stick up and you don't necessarily see what a long way down it is and
00:40:25then you get one of those little gaps and then you just see down and it is a long way
00:40:32there's one there
00:40:33the dust didn't help either oh gee look at that that's narrow
00:40:51i just don't know what i'm doing i don't understand the rules on this road you seem to drive
00:40:55one minute on the left one minute on the right sometimes the lorry stops going the other way to let
00:41:00you go through sometimes they don't sometimes pull over others come barreling up behind you doing
00:41:06three and a half times the speed of sound it's completely baffling thank you
00:41:15but i'm coming up against the truck i've got to go past him and that means going on that side
00:41:21looking straight ahead ah breathe moments later james slowed down to let a mad local get past
00:41:39does that mean there's one of those maniacal taxes right and i didn't oh god
00:41:45sorry i was going to get macheted to death i was watching the taxi yeah i did warn you did i or
00:41:58did i not warn you james is killing jeremy i don't think things are going well i was watching
00:42:04the taxi you weren't i was watching the taxi did your co-presenter on your television program just
00:42:09attack you with a machete yes you did he came to the window it's quite cross because i ran into him
00:42:13that doesn't happen on like clothes programs or gardening shows
00:42:21as we climbed higher life in the already battered toyota became truly terrifying
00:42:28that's my steering i'm inches from death there the steering wheel doesn't do anything
00:42:33my brakes stick on when i'm going uphill and cause the clutch to slip
00:42:37i can't breathe because the dust gets in oh god that that's real fear now when i'm going downhill
00:42:45the same brakes that stick on going uphill don't stop me
00:42:52the suzuki 2 was showing the strain
00:42:54what is the matter it's got dirt in the fuel system from the river so it's broken it's not
00:43:06broken occasionally a bit of it goes through your simple cheap car is broken sticking to the code of
00:43:13the top gear brotherhood i left james and richard behind this goes to show that badly made these japanese
00:43:21cars they're badly made james and i decided to stick together he's never going to go around my god he is
00:43:33that's insane right i'm in a ditch um okay yeah didn't see this whoa what a thing to miss right
00:43:54no biggie though because my colleague would winch me out in a jiffy hold on what the winch isn't working
00:44:11i'm now all on my own on death road i have no idea where raymears and ted nugent are
00:44:18they've just disappeared we have no phones they're not on the radio up there could be dead
00:44:24we would in fact be dead quite soon judging by the mood of the angry stuck locals good luck
00:44:32thank you handbrake off etc
00:44:38ditch is going to level out so it'll be fine there you go
00:44:42what a nice man soon though i wished i'd stayed in the ditch because the toyota had developed yet
00:44:49another fault something's broken on that back corner
00:44:57this is pretty close to undriveable now right meanwhile very far ahead
00:45:06i'm now at five and a half thousand feet above sea level and still climbing
00:45:10oh god crosses
00:45:16a lot of crosses there and then underneath a waterfall i learned why there were so many crosses up here
00:45:23oh my god no oh my stop there
00:45:39that is going that is going
00:46:09so
00:46:13bloody hell
00:46:30we were still miles back it was almost dark and worse still james's alternator wasn't charging the battery
00:46:38by how much is running your car with headlights on going to shorten the light with the battery and then kill the engine
00:46:44well i don't know exactly but by quite a bit they're already getting a bit dim to be honest
00:46:50god this is murder pretty soon the inevitable happened my car is now dead and without a new battery
00:46:58since the alternator was one of the few things working on the toyota i swapped my live battery for james's
00:47:07dead one and i think that was pretty good of me to donate my battery to yes it was yes it was and this
00:47:12time we're not going to run with your lights on no okay we'll use the torches yes hang on a minute
00:47:18strap a couple to the front okay i've waited till nightfall here at the summit
00:47:26of the death road and my colleagues aren't here which means they must be dead i've therefore made
00:47:31them these i think rather touching memorials
00:47:39with the torches fitted this was my view of death road
00:47:43and i want to say something to you that i wouldn't say at any other time
00:47:52what please don't leave me oh god those words are going to stay with me for a bit
00:47:58i'll struggle to get over that no i won't
00:48:15the next morning we were all reunited in la paz the world's highest and worst capital city
00:48:22but as we waited for our next instructions the mood was frosty
00:48:27you ready no
00:48:30we still haven't actually forgiven your research you know that don't you it's not like we've all
00:48:34being all mating now and have forgotten that you abandoned us to die just so you know i couldn't
00:48:37go back to the hotel eat a pepper steak have a beer and go to bed feeling good about myself if
00:48:42i just left my mate to go to bed i had to go to bed the next morning that the pepper steak wasn't very
00:48:47good i thought you were dead well i had a simple ceremony for you oh yeah and then what did you do
00:48:53you went on i said kind words about you what we're doing come on between la paz and the pacific ocean
00:48:59there is the alteplana where the altitude will cause you to have a pulmonary edema then there's
00:49:05the andes where you'll have a cerebral edema and then the atacama which is 50 times drier than death
00:49:11valley it has never rained it is the driest place on earth and there is no life not even bacteria
00:49:24given that our lungs and brains would explode in the deserts and mountains that lay between us
00:49:29and the pacific we decided to modify our cars a bit so it was time to find a workshop and cue the music
00:49:40have you got spider in the car oh no you can't see through the window stick to hammers
00:49:47that's the precision tool board the hammer lives elsewhere
00:49:49the next day we left la paz well prepared for the trials that lay ahead so i've lifted the land
00:50:04cruiser obviously very simply gives me room for the bigger wider tires i'll need for the desert sand
00:50:10roll cage for safety obviously and then to get rid of some of the weight i've lost the doors because
00:50:15there was steel and very heavy and the roof and anything else i didn't need what i've done to
00:50:22prepare for uh the desert is is team a rather fetching uh hooded cardigan with some old combat
00:50:28trousers and some big wheels on my car wow james has been busy oh yes you have modified that mate
00:50:41as you can see what i've done with my car is mended it
00:50:48the modifying brothers were very pleased with their results
00:50:52yeah
00:50:54this is fun i'm liking this loving this oh yeah but after a few miles the smiles had gone
00:51:02hammond i've made my car worse
00:51:04it won't ride properly and the tires are catching on the wheel arches and it's got no power anymore
00:51:13oh god i am having to work my engine quite hard the problem is you see put bigger wheels on
00:51:19and it has the effect of gearing it up the first gear is like starting in third
00:51:24it's hard work and long and the short of it i've i've rather ruined it
00:51:29james has just overtaken me in his one ounce box
00:51:35that face is smug i don't like it
00:51:41because i'd made my car better as we climbed onto the altiplano
00:51:45i could relax and enjoy the backdrop look at that sky that's one of the best skies i've seen for a very
00:51:52long time
00:52:01james does it get hotter or colder when you're at altitude i've forgotten
00:52:06i'm pretty sure it gets much hotter no no hang on sorry colder
00:52:11well there's only one way we can accurately determine what temperature it is and that's
00:52:15by talking to our colleague i know what you're thinking i'm fine
00:52:24as darkness fell we pulled into a petrol station and in the shop we found a bit more than kit kats
00:52:31and parties oh wait a minute caramelized cocaine now that's something you don't see in every motorway
00:52:36service station wow you take it and then you talk for hours let's have that in fact the sweet is
00:52:44made from coca leaves which are legal and used by locals to ward off the effects of altitude sickness
00:52:51hammond found them very moorish they're nice they're caramelized i've had about six luckily this
00:52:58had no effect at all all the comfort gear and everything and get there and then when you got
00:53:02there the journey was over and this is before the m5 was done and there was like a high bit and a low
00:53:07bit and we always used to say is this the high low bit and mum and dad would say yeah or no if it wasn't
00:53:13and then we knew how far it wants to go to west and we used to go through bristol which i always
00:53:16thought was a bit scruffy
00:53:23the next morning we woke on the staggeringly beautiful bolivian high plains
00:53:33that's right we couldn't see any of this in the dark but it's absolutely breathtaking look at it
00:53:37it certainly won't my breath away there's no breath to take away we're at 14 000 feet according to your
00:53:43gizmo 14 000 14 000 and six feet what's that this measures your snaps on casualty they always do this
00:53:50somebody gets wielding they put one of these on their finger and i think it's something to do with
00:53:54how much oxygen there is in your red blood cells because it's always if it's less than 98 or 99 you've
00:54:01you've had it and tina hobley comes what's yours 87 that's less much less where's tina hobley then
00:54:08do you want just try yours i bet you can't get it to go less than 87 that's how ill i am 89 89
00:54:16well you're you're nearly dead i am dead 88 i'm not much better if you went into a doctor's surgery
00:54:23in england with sats of 88 they'd put you in hospital 84. in fact the only thing in a dodgier
00:54:31state than me were the modifications on my car what's happened i've broken my front right spring
00:54:38completely clean sheared it off both ends you're joking bloody hell yeah so that is supposed to be
00:54:45connected to that yep and it snapped clean off while trying to mend the modified suspension
00:54:55there was another problem your prop shelf fell off what your prop shelf just fell off
00:55:03since there was no aa to call it took us all morning to get it fixed but eventually we were off
00:55:15and apart from james driving into a village well sorry leave it we made good progress toward the
00:55:27chilian border i'm in a fantastic desert with my two mates all the cars are working look at that look at
00:55:34that it's great it's an adventure
00:55:38and soon we reached a big milestone one mile james we've done it bolivia let's roll in as a threesome
00:55:51you look at these three you'd never believe they were still running most scrap yards would reject them
00:55:59at the border post we were given the traditional welcome
00:56:08so
00:56:11maybe doesn't find the tampons oh rather worry the viagra
00:56:22drugs check over we entered chili where the scenery became even more sensational
00:56:28those are flamingos they actually are flamingos never seen in the wild wow unfortunately we were still
00:56:42climbing are you ready 45 feet to go 30 feet to go here it comes five four three there we're there
00:56:58six feet we are now higher than the highest peak in europe and we're still driving
00:57:08soon the altitude would become a big issue
00:57:18but the next day hammond had an even bigger one
00:57:21his clutch had gone oh god oh come on it won't come out of gear
00:57:33i'm trying to rock it on the starter motor with it in ah
00:57:41there you go right we're away into seconds match the road speed oh hey there you go
00:57:47it's pulled over here at this junction to wait for uh wait for hammond oh dust is that it
00:58:01it is it is we're back as a three
00:58:05hammond the donkey lives oh yeah it lives on
00:58:10oh my god at this point we had a decision to make we can either go that way which is
00:58:20very long or we can go that way which is short but does mean driving over an active volcano
00:58:28short volcano short i agree short let's do it
00:58:33as we climbed the air became thinner and thinner
00:58:50fifteen thousand four hundred and climbing we are definitely the highest motorists in the world
00:58:59far from george michael obviously
00:59:05hammond's really got to think ahead with no clutch and he's got to think ahead with a brain starved of
00:59:11oxygen
00:59:14what will be frightening is when i come to need to grab first to get up a steep bit
00:59:18it's changing down is harder you've got to guess how high the engine will need to be revving
00:59:23and slot the gear lever in without a clutch
00:59:25it's changing
00:59:29james too was having problems
00:59:37oh god chaps my transfer box is jammed
00:59:41but these niggles were overshadowed by the big one
00:59:46up at this altitude this engine is really struggling you see for every
00:59:50liter of fuel vapor it gets through it needs 14 liters of air and there isn't any so it's just like me
01:00:02and that means it's just so down on power up here james's car had at best 20 horsepower
01:00:09and as we climbed higher we started to suffer as well
01:00:15the breathlessness now is pretty acute just talking is hard work
01:00:23i'm starting to get something to feel a bit
01:00:26jesus no i'm feeling really quite weird
01:00:31the terrain leveled out so we pulled over to catch what we could of our breath
01:00:35do you feel sort of drunk but it's not pleasant yeah it's exactly that my whole head feels like
01:00:42i've got room spin it was time for drastic action cyanide no viagra hey is this a time
01:00:52apparently viagra for reasons unknown to science stops you having an edema in your lung i thought it
01:00:58was more the treasure department it concentrated on well that might be a side effect of what you're about
01:01:02to do down the hatch here we go
01:01:08nothing's happening it doesn't work nothing's happening i can't follow it nothing's happening
01:01:12nothing's happening i'm gonna get a massive neck if i don't have some of that apparently that will save
01:01:23our lives sadly though it didn't seem to have any effect at all
01:01:37i'm getting a headache and i'm feeling sick
01:01:41come on come on the big question now was this which would give out first the cars or the men
01:01:53come on come on please pull every gear change is so critical now that
01:02:00i get tense about it that raises my heart and then i need oxygen all the more
01:02:08still there hammond yeah i'm still here i'm having to go slow because i don't think i'll
01:02:15make it okay mate we'll slow down we're a team up here because this isn't funny god jeremy's talking
01:02:22about being a team that's the altitude at 16 700 feet the toyota broke down again
01:02:35my transfer box has just gone james and i stopped to help and then we couldn't get going again
01:02:42the engines just aren't getting any air at all there's just no uh james can't get his started
01:02:54i can't get mine started i haven't got any air to work
01:03:01once we get the range rover going and that's the most likely to start we can get everything started
01:03:05right one three can we move it two three three and go pushing a range rover at this altitude damn near
01:03:17killed us but eventually the big beast fired and once again the most unreliable car in the world
01:03:24got the others going as well go on oh yeah
01:03:35oh my my lips are now tingling
01:03:45i get the feeling something's got to give soon
01:03:51jesus christ my head
01:03:59at 17 200 feet we pulled over again
01:04:05oh
01:04:21hammond yeah
01:04:26even if the cars could get over that when i seriously doubt they could i can't
01:04:31they're just pushing on it's just stupid seriously i'm just i'm calling it a day
01:04:39i think you could be right
01:04:51we really were in trouble so we turned round and headed back down fast
01:05:01000
01:05:12got to wait
01:05:13needles better
01:05:15with every foot
01:05:17the engine's gonna run smoother my body's gonna run smoother
01:05:21We then went the long way around, and finally, drunk on oxygen, we made it to the other side of the Andes.
01:05:37It's so underrated.
01:05:55It's thick.
01:05:56It's like breathing soup.
01:05:58It's thick, yeah, you can bite off pieces of it and chew it.
01:06:01It's like lung nectar.
01:06:03Oh, there's just one small thing that's occurred to me, chaps.
01:06:10What?
01:06:13Where the hell are we?
01:06:18We were in the Atacama Desert, where there is no life at all, not even on a cellular level.
01:06:26Richard Hammond was the smallest living organism for miles.
01:06:30There was nothing here at all, except for one road.
01:06:40Oh, yes.
01:06:42The Panamerica Highway.
01:06:50Running is smooth.
01:06:53The view is spectacular.
01:06:56Temperature is low.
01:06:57But the mad dash down the mountain had been too much once again for the modifications on Hammond's Toyota.
01:07:10I'm going to have to starve.
01:07:12Oh, God.
01:07:14Didn't sound good.
01:07:17Did you actually hear something?
01:07:18Oh, yeah.
01:07:20Oh, dear.
01:07:21I think, James, we can safely say that what's happened there is my prop shaft has fallen off.
01:07:27And the prop shaft was only half of it.
01:07:30F***.
01:07:31What's broken?
01:07:33Div.
01:07:33It's actually shattered.
01:07:35Absolutely exploded.
01:07:37Good God.
01:07:38I'm surprised that didn't somersault the car.
01:07:40I've just heard on the radio that Richard Hammond's Land Cruiser is in serious trouble.
01:07:52Happily, the Top Gear orangutan elected not to stop and help.
01:07:57And as a result, James and I quickly got the Toyota working again.
01:08:01We reconfigured it.
01:08:08It's now running front-wheel drive only.
01:08:11So it's now just its front legs dragging itself along.
01:08:15Still working.
01:08:17We were now tantalizingly close to the Pacific Ocean, the finish line.
01:08:23I think there can be no doubt this has been our toughest assignment ever.
01:08:27No question about that.
01:08:31It's nearly killed us.
01:08:32It's nearly killed our cars.
01:08:36It is incredible to think that these cheap cars bought unseen on the internet had crossed the Amazon rainforest.
01:08:46They'd scaled the most dangerous road in the world.
01:08:50And they'd still been working when their drivers had broken down in the Andes.
01:08:57We didn't just respect them.
01:09:01We loved them.
01:09:03I have a teddy bear.
01:09:05I've had it since the day I was born.
01:09:07One of its arms has fallen off.
01:09:10One of its eyes is missing.
01:09:11Its head's come off more times than I can mention.
01:09:14To you, it would be worthless junk.
01:09:16But to me, it means everything.
01:09:18And it's the same story with this car.
01:09:21Yeah, the ride's terrible.
01:09:25It's a bit noisy.
01:09:26It doesn't actually handle that well.
01:09:28And I'm always worried that it's going to fall over.
01:09:30But it's done everything the big boys have done.
01:09:32It hasn't got stuck any more often.
01:09:34And the only time it's really gone wrong is as a result of its dunking in the river.
01:09:39I think the plucky little car's done all right.
01:09:41From the very start of the trip, when I couldn't start it on the raft, I just, oh no.
01:09:50But I didn't know it then.
01:09:51I didn't know how determined it was.
01:09:53Honestly, this thing is like that Black Knight in that multi-Python sketch, where they're fighting with swords and he gets his arm cut off.
01:10:00No, no, tis but a scratch.
01:10:02It's a great little car.
01:10:04As our exhausted convoy drew nearer to the coast, weirdly, the road started to climb again.
01:10:1340 miles to go and we've got to drop 2,300 feet down to sea level.
01:10:20We must start going downhill in a minute.
01:10:23But it didn't.
01:10:24The punishing climb continued.
01:10:27I can smell, I can smell a boiling engine.
01:10:34Is the drop at the other end just sheer?
01:10:40Because we're nearly at the Pacific now.
01:10:43And I'm 4,000 feet up.
01:10:47Soon, though, we turned off the Panamerica and headed through the dunes to the finish line.
01:10:52Where, unfortunately, there was one more obstacle in the way.
01:10:57A big one.
01:10:59Hang on a minute.
01:11:00Whoa, wait.
01:11:10Look how bloody steep it is.
01:11:12God above.
01:11:15I can see now why they said four-wheel drive.
01:11:18Uh, I've only got three-wheel drive.
01:11:20I've only got two.
01:11:22I was going to say, what if you dig in?
01:11:23If you dug in and started to roll, the chances of you being alive at the bottom are nil.
01:11:29We've therefore decided to get some practice on a smaller dune first.
01:11:34Are we ready, chaps?
01:11:35Ready.
01:11:36Ready?
01:11:36Yeah.
01:11:37Yeah.
01:11:37Three, two...
01:11:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:11:41No, hold on.
01:11:43Give me strength.
01:11:44Give me strength.
01:11:46What?
01:11:46Just before we do this, I wanted to say...
01:11:48Oh, shit.
01:11:49No!
01:11:49Oh, my...
01:11:51Oh, my donkey!
01:12:09His wheels come off!
01:12:12Oh.
01:12:12donkey was dead and in some ways i was relieved because it meant i no longer had to drive down
01:12:24that dune this is utterly utterly utterly stupid
01:12:38i wouldn't do this in a brand new range rover james are you ready
01:12:41yeah i'll be going for second gear jezza second gear low range and i've got my diff locks in
01:12:48have you got your diff locks in i haven't got diff locks good luck boys three two one go
01:12:56oh my god i don't know where oh christ i don't know where the wheels are pointing
01:13:14oh i don't think so
01:13:18it's going sideways
01:13:25don't you dare go sideways again the soft sand was a nightmare and the gradient meant that
01:13:32pretty soon we were fighting to keep control
01:13:35get in a straight line you metal come on come on oh it's going a bit fast now
01:13:45a 900 year old utterly ruined range rover
01:13:53leveling out it's leveling out it's leveling out
01:13:57once again we had shown what the car even when it's an old croc
01:14:15is capable of well two of us had
01:14:28but when we finally regrouped by the water's edge hammond still believed he'd chosen wisely
01:14:35are you going to try and argue that it was extraordinarily good it's led a very hard life
01:14:40and it died a noble death i think valiant i think rubbish it has been a constant source of problems
01:14:47and delays but it was old and arthritic and had been beaten every day of its life these two these
01:14:52two were old and arthritic but they are here and the land cruiser is 2 800 feet above us up there
01:14:59forever that's it can i just make the case for the suzuki because i know what you're thinking
01:15:04plucky little car helped you out a few times pushed i agree it pushed out to the range technically
01:15:09never really broke down the alternator was a bit dodgy i know and it didn't survive very well in the
01:15:13puddle but i'd like to say most importantly the ride is rotten yes yeah and because of that because
01:15:21it's almost ruined your spine and because yours isn't here we have a startling conclusion i think
01:15:28to the show it turns out that the most unreliable car in the world is the most reliable car in the
01:15:35world yeah that's fair enough ladies and gentlemen i give you the range rover
01:15:54and there's more at top gear next sunday here on bbc hd
01:15:57next tonight stay with us for drama from a christmassy cranford
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