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00:27Number 17, please.
00:28That'll be fine. Thank you.
00:29Goodbye. Thank you so much.
00:31Hello, faulty tears.
00:33Oh, hello, Mr. Hawkins.
00:35I've arranged your card for two this afternoon.
00:38You do accept cheques.
00:41Well, we'll have to cancel the order then.
00:45Yes.
00:46No, no. Five o'clock will be fine.
00:48Goodbye.
00:50Polly, Brenda can't start till Monday.
00:52Would you mind doing the rooms until then?
00:53No, I can do with the money.
00:55Oh, good. There you are.
00:57Thank you, Mr. Gardley.
00:59Oh, hello.
01:00Can I help you? Yes.
01:02Would you give me change for this, please?
01:04In one moment. I'm just dealing with this gentleman.
01:06Yes, Mr. Poston. What? Thank you.
01:08I need change for this.
01:10In a moment, I'm dealing with this gentleman.
01:12But I have a taxi driver waiting.
01:14Surely this gentleman wouldn't mind if you just gave me change.
01:16Do you?
01:17No, no. Go ahead.
01:21There you are.
01:22Can you tell me how to get to Glendower Street?
01:24Now, I've booked a room and bath with a sea view for three nights.
01:28Glendower Street?
01:29Yes.
01:30You haven't finished with me.
01:32Mrs?
01:33Mrs Richards.
01:34Mrs Alice Richards.
01:35Mrs Richards, Mr. Thurston.
01:37Mr. Thurston, Mrs. Richards.
01:38Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending to at the moment.
01:41What?
01:42Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending.
01:44Don't shout. I'm not deaf.
01:46Mr. Thurston was here before you, Mrs Richards.
01:49But you were serving me.
01:50I gave you change, but I hadn't finished dealing with him.
01:53Now, Glendower Street is just on Glendower Street.
01:54There's not anyone else in attendance here.
01:56Really, this is the most appalling service I've ever had.
01:58What a good idea.
01:59Manuel, could you lend Mrs Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?
02:06Now, I've reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view.
02:11I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation.
02:15So, please make sure I have it.
02:17K.
02:20What?
02:21K.
02:22K.
02:23Si.
02:23Si.
02:25KC.
02:27KC, what are you trying to say?
02:28No, no, no, no.
02:29K-what.
02:31K-what?
02:32Si.
02:32K-what.
02:33C-K-what?
02:35Yes.
02:36Who is C-K-what?
02:38K.
02:38Is it the manager, Mr. What?
02:40Oh, Mannegan.
02:41He is.
02:42Ah, Mr. Forty.
02:43What?
02:44Forty.
02:44What are you talking about, you silly little man?
02:47What is going on here?
02:48I ask him for my room and he tells me the managers of Mr. What aged 40.
02:53No, no, no.
02:54Forty.
02:55Forty?
02:56What's wrong with him?
02:58It's all right, Mrs. Richards.
03:00He's from Barcelona.
03:01The manager's from Barcelona?
03:03No, no, no, no.
03:04He's from Eswanitz.
03:05And you're in 22.
03:07What?
03:08You're in room 22.
03:09Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you?
03:14Very nice stay, Mr. Forty.
03:17Glad you enjoyed it.
03:18Polly, would you get Mr. Firkin's bill, please?
03:19When will we be seeing you again?
03:21Not for a few weeks.
03:22Oh.
03:23You're not by any chance a betting man, Mr. Forty.
03:25Um, well, I used to be.
03:28Only there's a very nice little filly running at Exeter this afternoon.
03:31Really?
03:32Dragonfly.
03:33Ah.
03:34Dragonfly?
03:35Yeah.
03:36It's well worth a flatter.
03:37We paid a tax on it before.
03:38Well, delighted you enjoyed your stay.
03:40Very nice.
03:41I hope to see you again before long.
03:42Oh, here you are.
03:45Bye, Mrs. Forty.
03:46Goodbye, Mr. Firkin.
03:48Satisfied customer.
03:49We should have him stuffed.
03:52Oh, Mr. Forty.
03:54Three o'clock Exeter.
03:55Dragonfly.
03:56What?
03:58Yes.
03:58Good luck.
03:59Jolly good luck with it.
04:03Morning, Major.
04:04Good morning, Forty.
04:08Mr.
04:09What was that about the three o'clock Exeter, Basil?
04:12Oh, some horse he's gonna bet on, I expect her.
04:14You're looking very spruce this morning, Major.
04:16St. George's Day, old boy.
04:17Really?
04:18You have a horse, have you?
04:19What's his name?
04:21Um, did you catch it, no?
04:23The...
04:23Dragonfly, Major.
04:25Are you going to have a flutter, Fawlty?
04:26No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:28No, Basil doesn't bet any more, Major, do you, dear?
04:30No, I don't, dear, no.
04:32No, that particular avenue of pleasure has been closed off.
04:38And we don't want it opened up again, do we, Basil?
04:41No, you don't, dear.
04:44The great warding off of May the 8th.
04:46Yes.
04:47Good old St. George, eh, Major?
04:49Hmm?
04:49Well, he killed a hideous, fire-breeding old dragon, didn't he, Polly?
04:53Ran it through with a lance, I believe.
04:55Mr. Fawlty, Mr. Fawlty.
04:56Is Mrs. Romno like she won't speak to you his problem?
05:00Ah.
05:00Ever see my wife making toast, Polly?
05:05Why did he kill it, anyway, Fawlty?
05:07I don't know, Major.
05:08Better than marrying it.
05:09Marrying it?
05:10But he didn't have to kill it, though, did he?
05:12I mean, he could have, er, just not turned up at the church.
05:22Good morning, Madam. Can I help you?
05:24Are you the manager?
05:25I am the owner, Madam.
05:27What?
05:27I am the owner.
05:29I want to speak to the manager.
05:31I am the manager, too.
05:32What?
05:33I am the manager, as well.
05:35Managher, he managher.
05:38You're what?
05:40I'm the manager.
05:42What?
05:43I'm the manager.
05:44Yes, I know.
05:44You've just told me.
05:45What's the matter with you?
05:46Now, listen to me.
05:47I booked a room with a bath.
05:50When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath.
05:52You've got a bath.
05:53I'm not paying £7.20 per night, plus VAT, for a room without a bath.
05:58There is your bath.
06:01You call that a bath?
06:02It's not big enough to drown a mouse.
06:04It's disgraceful.
06:06I wish you were a mouse, aren't you?
06:09And another thing.
06:10I asked for a room with a view.
06:13Deaf, mad and blind.
06:14Uh, this is the view as far as I can remember, madam.
06:19Yes, yes, this is it.
06:20When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
06:25That is Torquay, madam.
06:26No, it's not good enough.
06:28Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see?
06:30Out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window?
06:33Sydney Opera House, perhaps?
06:35The hanging gardens of Babylon?
06:38Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically?
06:40Yes, yes.
06:41I expect to be able to see the sea.
06:43You can see the sea.
06:44It's over there between the land and the sky.
06:48I need a telescope to see that.
06:49Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?
06:54Or preferably in it.
06:55Right.
06:57Now, listen to me.
06:58I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here.
07:01However, I shall expect a reduction.
07:03Why? Because cracker toe is not erupting at the moment, or...?
07:06Because the room is cold.
07:08The bath is too small.
07:09The view is invisible.
07:10And the radio doesn't work.
07:12No, the radio works.
07:14You don't.
07:14What?
07:15See if I can fix it, you scabby old bastard.
07:24I think we got something then.
07:25What?
07:26I think we got something then.
07:28What?
07:28What are you doing?
07:29Eh?
07:31Don't think me rude, but may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid?
07:36A what?
07:36A hearing aid!
07:38Yes, I do have a hearing aid.
07:39Would you like me to get it mended?
07:41Mended?
07:42It's working perfectly all right.
07:44No, it isn't.
07:45I haven't got it turned on at the moment.
07:46Why not?
07:47The battery runs down.
07:49Now, what sort of a reduction can you give me on this room?
07:5260% if you turn it on.
07:54What?
07:55My wife handles all such matters.
07:56I'm sure she will be delighted to discuss it with you.
07:59I shall speak to her after lunch.
08:00You heard that all right, didn't you?
08:02What?
08:02Thank you so much.
08:03Lunch will be served at half past 12.
08:05Manuel, Manuel.
08:06See, why are you going to the betting shop today?
08:08What?
08:09Oh, don't you start...
08:10You go betting shop today.
08:12Oh, see, betting shop.
08:13See, see, see.
08:13Now, I want you to put this on this little horse.
08:17Dragonfly.
08:18But big secret.
08:19Sybil, no, no.
08:23No, no, it's lovely.
08:24It's just a bit buttery with my skin.
08:28I think I need something more topaz-y for my colouring, you know.
08:33More tonal.
08:36Have you got...
08:37Have you got Cosmopolitan there?
08:39Well, page 42.
08:40You see, Burt Reynolds.
08:42Well, there's a girl standing behind him looking at James Caan.
08:46That sort of colour.
08:48Mmm.
08:50Lovely.
08:51All right, I'll be in at 11.
08:53Oh, Polly.
08:54Mm-hmm.
08:55I've got to check the laundry.
08:57Could you keep an eye on reception for me?
08:58Sure.
09:10Polly, Polly.
09:11Where, Mr Fawlty?
09:12I don't know.
09:13What's the matter?
09:14I have money for him.
09:15He went on horse, but big secret.
09:17Shh, Mrs Fawlty.
09:18Shh.
09:18Well, give it to me.
09:19I'll give it to you.
09:19Shh.
09:20Ha-ha.
09:28Good afternoon, Miss Gatsby.
09:30Good afternoon, Miss Teague.
09:31Good afternoon.
09:32Good afternoon.
09:35Good afternoon.
09:36First they give me a room without a bath, then there's no lavatory paper.
09:41Would you like some of ours?
09:43We need an extra supply.
09:45Yes.
09:46Would you like some of ours?
09:47Yes.
09:48Hello.
09:49Yeah.
09:50There's no paper in my room.
09:51Why don't you check these things?
09:52That's what you're being paid for, isn't it?
09:54Well, we don't put it in the rooms.
09:56What?
09:56Well, we keep it in the lounge.
09:58It's not lounge.
09:59I'll get you some.
10:01Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?
10:05Address on it?
10:06How many sheets?
10:09Well, how many are you going to use?
10:12Manager.
10:13Well, just enough for one penny.
10:14Manager.
10:15Manager.
10:16Yes.
10:17Testing.
10:18Testing.
10:21I've never met such insolence in my life.
10:23I come down here to get some lavatory paper and she starts asking me the most insulting,
10:28personal things I've ever heard in my life.
10:30I thought you wanted writing paper.
10:32I'm talking to you what?
10:33What?
10:35Are you deaf?
10:36I said I'm talking to you.
10:37I've never met such insolence in my life.
10:40She said people use it in the lounge.
10:42No, no, no, no.
10:46She thought you wanted to write.
10:49Wanted a fight?
10:50I'll give her a fight all right.
10:51No, no, no.
10:52Wanted to write.
10:53What?
10:53Wanted to write on the paper.
10:55Why should I want to write on it?
10:58I'll have some sent up to your room immediately.
11:01Manuel?
11:01That doesn't work either.
11:03What are you saying?
11:05Turn it on.
11:07What?
11:07Turn.
11:08It.
11:10Turn.
11:12It.
11:13On.
11:15I can't read that.
11:16I need my glasses.
11:19Where are they?
11:20They're on your head, Mrs. Richards.
11:22I've lost them.
11:24They're the only pair I've got.
11:25I can't read a thing without them.
11:27Excuse me.
11:27Now, I had them this morning when I was buying the vase.
11:31Mrs. Richards.
11:32I put them on to look at it.
11:33And I had them at tea time.
11:34Mrs. Richards.
11:35Your glasses are there.
11:38There?
11:39Well, don't put them in there.
11:41No, no, no.
11:42On your head.
11:43What?
11:43On.
11:44On.
11:46Oh.
11:46Oh.
11:50I'm sorry about that, Mr. Richards.
11:53Oh.
11:53Manuel asked me to give this to you.
11:54What?
11:55Oh.
11:55Oh, thank you.
11:56Not a word to the dragon, eh?
12:00Oh, Manuel.
12:01Yes.
12:01Get some blue paper.
12:02Muchos.
12:03For 22.
12:04I try to see.
12:06Are you blind?
12:07They were on my head all the time.
12:08Didn't you see?
12:09Yes.
12:10Didn't God give you eyes?
12:11Yes.
12:12But I don't use them because it wears the batteries off.
12:15Oh.
12:15Set my paper up immediately.
12:18Oh.
12:2122.
12:26Good evening, Terry.
12:31Do you like Cavalier or Rusticana, Terry?
12:34Oh, never had it, Mr. Fawley.
12:38You're in a good mood, Mr. Fawley.
12:39Had a little bit of luck on the Gee-Gees, Terry.
12:41Not a word of the troubling strife, eh?
12:46Oh.
12:47They come down, they sing this song.
12:49Oh, do-da, oh, do-da.
12:51They come down, they struck five miles long.
12:53Do-da, do-da, de-da.
12:55Gonna run all night.
12:57I'm going around all day.
12:59Gonna make me money on the bobtail nag.
13:01I did it my way.
13:03Stan Frank Sinatra, you make me feel so young.
13:06Rubbish.
13:07You seem very jolly, Basil.
13:09Hmm?
13:10You seem very jolly.
13:12Jolly?
13:13Yes, jolly.
13:14Sort of happy.
13:15Oh, happy.
13:17Yes, I remember that.
13:17No, not that I noticed, dear, no.
13:19I'll report it if it happens, though.
13:21Well, you look happy to me, Basil.
13:23No, I'm not, dear.
13:24All that dancing about, singing and rubbing your hands.
13:27No, just my way of getting through the day, dear.
13:30The, uh, Samaritans were engaged.
13:38I thought maybe you were in love.
13:40Ha!
13:42Only with the old light of my life.
13:45Well, I had a bit of luck or something.
13:48Did Mr Hawkins do a bit of tonics, Terry?
13:51Yes, he did, Mrs Forney.
13:55Oh, your horse, it wins, it wins.
13:57Shh, shh, Manuel.
13:58You know nothing.
14:01You always say, Mr Fawlty, but I learn.
14:04What?
14:05I learn, I learn.
14:06No, no, no, no.
14:06I get better.
14:07No, no, no, you don't understand.
14:08I do.
14:09No, you don't.
14:09Aye, I do understand that.
14:12You know nothing about the horse.
14:16I know nothing about the horse.
14:18Yes.
14:20Which horse?
14:22What?
14:23Which horse I know nothing?
14:25My horse, nitwit.
14:27Your horse, nitwit.
14:28No, no, no.
14:29Dragonfly.
14:30It won.
14:30Yes, I know.
14:31I know it won, too.
14:32What?
14:33I put money on for you.
14:34You give me money, I go to vet.
14:35I know, I know, I know.
14:37Why you say I know nothing?
14:39Oh, look, look, look.
14:42You know the horse?
14:44Uh, nitwit or dragonfly?
14:46Dragonfly, that isn't a horse called nitwit.
14:47You're the nitwit.
14:49What is with nitwit?
14:51It doesn't matter.
14:51Look, it doesn't matter.
14:52Oh, I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation.
14:55Oh, please, please try to understand before one of us dies.
14:59I try.
15:00You're going to forget everything you know about nitwit.
15:04No, no.
15:05Dragonfly.
15:06Dragonfly, yes.
15:07Si, si, si.
15:08Okay.
15:10Eventually.
15:14What?
15:16Eventually.
15:18Uh, at the end.
15:20No, no, no, no.
15:20Forget it now.
15:22Now?
15:23Well, pretend you forget.
15:25Pretend?
15:25Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse.
15:29I know that.
15:30You tell me that this morning.
15:32I think.
15:33Uh, so don't do it again.
15:35Yes, tell?
15:36It's Mrs Richards.
15:38The fatal accident?
15:40She's had some money stolen.
15:42Oh, Mr Fawlty.
15:44I tell Polly.
15:45What?
15:45Oh, that's all right, but don't tell anyone else.
15:46Not even me.
15:47You know nothing.
15:48Basil?
15:49Yes, tell?
15:50Basil, you've got to help me handle this.
15:51She's in a frightful state.
15:52I can't get a word in edgeway.
15:53She's had 85 pounds taken from her room.
15:55I've said we'll search everybody.
15:56But she insists that we send for the police.
15:57What do you do with someone like that?
15:59She just keeps on.
16:00Mrs Richards, how very nice to see you.
16:02Are you enjoying your stay?
16:04There's no need to shout.
16:05I have my hearing aid on.
16:07Oh.
16:07Mrs Richards, I've explained to my...
16:09I've just been up to my room.
16:1185 pounds has been taken from my bag,
16:14which I had hidden under the mattress.
16:15Oh, yes.
16:16It's a disgrace.
16:18I haven't been here a day.
16:19What sort of staff do you employ here?
16:21Mrs Richards.
16:21If you knew anything at all about running a hotel,
16:23this sort of thing wouldn't happen.
16:24Well?
16:25What have you got to say for yourself?
16:34What?
16:42Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
16:43I haven't got it turned up enough.
16:45Basil?
16:46I said I should go!
16:48Oh!
16:49My head!
16:50My head!
16:51Has it come away?
16:52Oh!
16:53Oh!
16:54Did you bang your head?
16:56Yes, yes.
16:57Oh, dear.
16:58Let me have a look.
16:59You'd better go and lie down before something else happens.
17:02Why don't you call the police?
17:03We will, the moment we've searched the room.
17:06My money's been taken.
17:07Yes, yes, I know.
17:07Try not to speak.
17:08Is this a piece of your brain?
17:1485 pounds.
17:15Take my arm.
17:16I don't need your arm, can you?
17:18I can get down the stairs perfectly well.
17:21Down the stairs?
17:22Oh, well.
17:23Don't stop when you get to the basement.
17:24Keep straight on.
17:25Give my regards to the Earth's core.
17:28Are you sure you can manage?
17:30And if you give us any more trouble,
17:31I shall visit you in the small hours
17:32and put a bat up your nightdress.
17:35Oh, that was fun, wasn't it, dear?
17:37The odd moment like that.
17:38It's almost worth staying a knife for, isn't it?
17:40It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it, dear?
17:42It's what marriage is all about.
17:44I know.
17:44I read it on the back of a matchbox.
17:47Basil, sometimes.
17:47Seriously, do you remember
17:49when we were first manacled together?
17:53We used to laugh quite a lot.
17:55Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.
17:57Oh, that's true.
17:58That was a warning.
17:59I should have spotted that, shouldn't I?
18:02What was that?
18:02That was your life, mate.
18:04Oh.
18:04That was quick.
18:05Do I get another?
18:06Sorry, mate.
18:07That's good luck.
18:07That's it.
18:08Back to the world of dreams.
18:09Yes, Deb?
18:10What are we going to do?
18:11Give it another 15 years.
18:13About the money.
18:14Do you think we should...
18:14Oh, she's left it in her room
18:16or dropped it or eaten it or something.
18:17We'll get Manuel to go through the room.
18:18Polly can check the lounge.
18:19Wait a moment.
18:20I saw Polly with some money just now.
18:22Well, there you are.
18:23It was quite a bit, too.
18:23She was counting it in here.
18:26Well, it probably hurts.
18:27No, she's been very short lately, Basil.
18:29I'll ask her.
18:30You can't just ask her like that, Sybil.
18:32Why not?
18:32Why not?
18:33It would be terribly rude
18:34asking someone if money is theirs.
18:35It would be so embarrassing.
18:36Rubbish, Basil.
18:39Hello, Fawlty Towers.
18:41Polly Sherman?
18:42Yes, certainly.
18:43I'll get her straight away.
18:43Hang on.
18:48Terry, where's Polly?
18:49I'm here.
18:50Polly, she saw you with the money.
18:52What?
18:52Sybil, she saw you counting the horse money.
18:54She's just coming to the window.
18:55Oh, hello, dear.
18:55Here she is.
18:56Found her in here.
18:57As I was just saying, Polly,
18:58my wife would like to have a word with you
18:59about a slightly delicate matter.
19:01It's not delicate, Basil.
19:02Don't be silly.
19:03He thinks it's embarrassing for me to ask you
19:05about that money I saw you with earlier on
19:07in the office.
19:08I wondered if someone had handed it in.
19:10Mrs Richards has lost some.
19:11The money?
19:12In the office?
19:13You were counting it, weren't you?
19:15Did someone hand it in?
19:16Oh, no.
19:17No, it's mine.
19:19Yours?
19:20I won it.
19:22You won it?
19:24On the horse, Mr Falter got a tip on.
19:26I hope you don't mind.
19:28I...
19:28No, no, no.
19:29Not at all.
19:31I didn't know you bet on the horses, Polly.
19:33Oh, I don't.
19:34Only I was in the town and I passed the betting shop
19:37and I thought, well, why not?
19:38Well, why not indeed, eh?
19:39Jolly good question, eh, dear?
19:40I pity you didn't let me put something on, really.
19:42Realise how much we would have won?
19:44£75 for a £5 steak?
19:45Still, you know best.
19:50Those were the odds, weren't they, Basil?
19:51Yes, that's right.
19:52They are 14 to 1.
19:53I listened in on the wireless just to make sure it had triumphed.
19:55Enjoy your winnings, Polly.
19:58Polly.
19:58Yes, Mrs Falter.
19:59What was the name of the horse?
20:02The name?
20:03Oh.
20:06I've gone blank.
20:11Birdbrain.
20:12No, no, no.
20:13That came in third.
20:13Uh.
20:15Fish wife.
20:17What?
20:18No.
20:18No, not fish.
20:19Small.
20:21Flying.
20:23Flying.
20:25Flying tart.
20:28No.
20:30No, no.
20:31It got off to a flying star.
20:32And its name?
20:34Was Dragonfly.
20:43If I find out the money on that horse was yours, you know what I'll do, Basil.
20:49Gonna have to sell him back on first.
20:54Oh, Major.
20:55Six o'clock on the line.
20:56Oh, there it is.
20:57Major, can I offer you a...
20:59Ah, very decent of you.
21:01Just a quick one.
21:02I'm going to a memorial service.
21:04Ah.
21:06Tie's a bit bright, isn't it, Major?
21:07What?
21:08For a memorial service.
21:09Oh, I didn't like to travel.
21:11None of those.
21:13Know what I mean?
21:13Ah.
21:14Cheers.
21:15Uh, Major, um, could you do me a favour?
21:18Well, I'm, uh, I'm a bit short myself, I suppose.
21:20No, no, no.
21:20Could you look after some money for me?
21:22I won it on that horse.
21:23Only, uh, Sybil's a bit suspicious, you see.
21:25She goes through my pockets some nights.
21:27Oh, absolutely.
21:27Which horse?
21:28Uh, Dragonfly.
21:29When's it running?
21:30No, no.
21:31It ran today.
21:31I won that on it.
21:32Oh, well done, oh boy.
21:33No, no, no.
21:34Could you keep it?
21:34Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that.
21:36No, no, no.
21:36No, no, no.
21:37Could you keep it just tonight?
21:38It's Sybil, you see.
21:39Secret.
21:40Ah.
21:41Present.
21:42Sort of, yes.
21:43Don't mention it.
21:44Bums of worms.
21:45I'll, like, get it from you in the morning and bank it.
21:48Understood, old boy.
21:50Cheers.
21:57Here you are, Mr. Baggy Posh.
22:00Good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
22:02Good morning, ladies.
22:05Hello, Fawlty Towers.
22:07What?
22:09I didn't say anything.
22:11Have you called the police yet?
22:12Excuse me, I'm trying to take a telephone call.
22:14Have you called them yet?
22:16Yes, yes, we have.
22:17When are they going to be here, then?
22:18As soon as possible.
22:19They're very busy today.
22:20Busy?
22:21Oh.
22:21There was a lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwynn Tea Rooms last night.
22:25Ah, certainly, yes.
22:27Mrs. Richards?
22:29Mrs. Richards!
22:30Sorry.
22:31I've got a telephone for you.
22:32Here.
22:33Yes?
22:34What's this for?
22:35Er, telephone calls.
22:36But I haven't made any.
22:38Oh, er, cigarettes?
22:39I don't smoke.
22:39Hello?
22:41There's nobody there.
22:42Hello?
22:43Yes, yes, I know she is.
22:45Yes, it's your sister.
22:47Well, what is it for?
22:49Er, drinks.
22:50Drinks.
22:51Me?
22:52We've been cut off.
22:53Hello?
22:53Look, you tell me and I'll tell her.
22:56Even the phones don't work.
22:58Your sister says you've had an offer of 87,000 pounds for your house in Brighton.
23:0487?
23:05Give it to me.
23:07Don't be a fool, Stephanie.
23:0992,750 I said and I'm not taking a penny less.
23:12You tell him that.
23:13Why don't people listen?
23:16Well?
23:17Well, let's grab that 32p then, shall we?
23:20Let's enjoy our sauce.
23:21Oh, thank you very much.
23:22Oh, Major!
23:23Major!
23:24Can I have it now?
23:25What or what?
23:26The money.
23:27The money I gave you last night.
23:29What is all this, Pearl?
23:30You remember.
23:31I gave you some money just before you went to that remembrance service.
23:34Remembrance service?
23:35Yes.
23:35I don't remember that or what?
23:37Well, but it was for a chap you didn't like.
23:39Um, you know, he was one of those.
23:41One of those what?
23:42Well...
23:44Pansy?
23:45Yes.
23:46Which one?
23:46No, no, no, no.
23:48You were in your best suit.
23:49Was I?
23:50Oh, yes, of course.
23:51Highway to the Seattle, of course.
23:53No, no, no.
23:54Yes, with Winnie Atwell.
23:56Winnie Atwell?
23:57Well, Marjorie Atwell and Marjorie.
23:59I always call her Winnie because she looks like Winnie.
24:02She's not black.
24:03Black?
24:05Churchill wasn't black.
24:07Look, look, look, look.
24:08I gave you 75 pounds.
24:10You put it in there.
24:10What do you mean by telling me you called the police?
24:13I...
24:13You've done no such thing.
24:14Your wife's just told me you're still searching the rooms.
24:16Well, I thought she'd call them.
24:18You lying hound.
24:19Mrs Richards.
24:20Go and call them now immediately.
24:21Yes, but look.
24:22Mrs Richards, we will.
24:22The moment we've searched them.
24:23Right.
24:24I shall call them myself then.
24:25Well, couldn't we just wait until...
24:26I've never seen such a place.
24:28All right, Mrs Richards.
24:30Would you like to use the office phone?
24:32What?
24:33In here.
24:36What?
24:38Get the key and check a roof.
24:40Right.
24:40I found it for dear.
24:41What?
24:42It was in my pocket.
24:43Yes, it's in my new suit.
24:44It's in here, you see.
24:45Yes.
24:46Yes.
24:46Yes.
24:46That's right down.
24:47Yes, can I have it?
24:48I don't know how it got there.
24:49No, no, can I?
24:49Because I make a point.
24:50Yes, please.
24:50I make a point of keeping my money in my hip pocket.
24:53Yes, please, please.
24:54What am I?
24:54Can I have it?
24:56Oh, yes, yes, yes.
24:56The money.
24:57Yes, yes, of course.
24:58Good God, it's gone.
24:59No, no, no.
25:00In there.
25:00In there.
25:01Basil.
25:02Here it is.
25:03What's that?
25:04I found it, Mrs Fawlty.
25:05The money.
25:05Oh, that's marvellous.
25:08Mrs Richards.
25:09What?
25:09We found your money.
25:11Oh?
25:12The Major's found your money.
25:14What?
25:15Oh, thank you so much, Major.
25:17There you are.
25:18It's telling you that we turn up.
25:21What is it, Basil?
25:23Better luck, eh, Fawley?
25:25It's ten pounds short.
25:27Oh, dear.
25:29It's not!
25:31Ten pounds short?
25:33What?
25:33Oh, my God!
25:35Don't worry.
25:36We'll have a whip round.
25:42What on earth do you think you're doing?
25:44I'll look at the missing ten pounds immediately, Mrs Richards.
25:46Where exactly did you find it, Major?
25:48In my pocket.
25:49In your pocket?
25:50Yeah, yeah, not this suit.
25:51In my new suit.
25:51Would you mind if I popped up and had a look?
25:53No, no, not at all.
25:54I'll see if I can find it.
25:55It won't be a moment.
25:57It's in the, um, the, uh...
26:00Did you say it was in your pocket?
26:01Yes.
26:01Yes, yes.
26:02Can I...
26:02What was it doing in your pocket?
26:03Can I explain?
26:04You're not explaining anything.
26:06You're completely loopy.
26:07Mad as a mouch hair.
26:09Yes, yes, I am.
26:10Yes, I am completely loopy.
26:12That's why I gave him the money to look after.
26:14What?
26:14You see, there's been a mistake.
26:16That money there is, in fact, mine.
26:18Yours?
26:18Yes, as the Major will confirm.
26:20You see, I was saving it up for a present for my wife.
26:22Right?
26:22And that's why I couldn't say anything just now.
26:24But I gave it to the Major last night.
26:25What rubbish?
26:26This is my money.
26:27No, no.
26:27The Major will verify what I've said.
26:29Could you verify that, Major?
26:30What?
26:31What on what?
26:32The money I gave you last night.
26:34You know, for my wife's present.
26:35Remember, I gave it to you just before you went to the theatre.
26:37The theatre?
26:38Yes.
26:38You remember?
26:39Hmm?
26:40What?
26:41The money I won on the horse.
26:42A horse?
26:43Yes.
26:43What are you whispering?
26:44What are you saying?
26:45He says he won it on a horse.
26:47Won it on a horse?
26:48It doesn't matter.
26:49Do you remember me giving it to you?
26:52Oh, think.
26:52Please think.
26:54What was the question again?
26:55Oh, the money.
26:56The money.
26:56The money.
26:57Do you?
26:57Manuel.
26:58Manuel.
26:58Manuel.
26:59Do you remember?
27:00I had some money yesterday.
27:02The money I won on the horse.
27:03Oh, see.
27:04Yes.
27:04Tell Mrs. Richards.
27:05Tell her I had the money yesterday.
27:07Ahem.
27:09I know nothing.
27:13What?
27:14I know nothing.
27:15No, no, no, no.
27:16Nothing.
27:16No, no, forget that.
27:17I forget everything I know not.
27:19No, no.
27:20You can tell her.
27:20I cannot.
27:21Tell her.
27:22Tell her.
27:23Tell her.
27:23Tell her.
27:26Oh.
27:27No, I know nothing.
27:31I am from Barcelona.
27:34I am not listening to any more of this rubbish.
27:36I am going to finish my breakfast.
27:38And when I come back, I want the rest of my money.
27:41Give it to her, Basil.
27:42Mm-hmm.
27:43I can't find it.
27:44Give her ten from the till.
27:48Right!
27:59I am going to give her a shirt off my back too.
28:02You see, I know nothing.
28:03I am going to send you to a vivis sectionist.
28:08Seriously.
28:09Now.
28:17Hello!
28:17Hello!
28:19Hello!
28:23Good afternoon, Mr. Pulte.
28:26Good afternoon.
28:28You've got a Mrs. Richard staying here?
28:34Yes, sir.
28:35Oh.
28:36Ah, well.
28:37Only she bought this yesterday, asked us to deliver it.
28:40The thing is, she left some money behind.
28:43Keeps it in this.
28:4595 quid.
28:46Look.
28:47The cleaner found it this morning.
28:49Almost threw it in the bin.
28:51Lucky, eh?
28:52She around?
28:55Nope.
28:56I'll give it to her.
28:57Oh.
28:58Thanks, Mr. Pauley.
29:00Goodbye.
29:13We found her money.
29:14Where?
29:15Well...
29:16She...
29:16It doesn't matter.
29:18I'm ten pounds up on the deal.
29:20Ten pounds up?
29:21Yes.
29:21It's ninety-five.
29:22Even if I give her ten, I'm still ten-up poly for the first time in my life.
29:26I'm...
29:26I'm winning.
29:30Hello, Mrs. Richard.
29:33How lovely to see.
29:33Your beautiful vase that you bought yesterday has just arrived.
29:37Now remind me, the money that you have there, is it yours or mine?
29:41I told you.
29:42It's mine.
29:42You're absolutely sure?
29:43Yes, I am.
29:45But you're still ten pounds short?
29:46Yes.
29:47Pauley, give Mrs. Richard's this, would you?
29:53What's that?
29:54This is mine.
29:57what's that Basil
30:01it's mine
30:02what
30:02it's the money I won on the horse
30:05that's right Polly asked me to put it in the safe for her
30:12so that's all sorted out
30:13this is your money Polly
30:16this is your beautiful vase
30:18Mrs Richards
30:18you did give me that money
30:21you won it on that horse
30:27that cost 75 pounds
30:31oh I am sorry Mrs Richards
30:34we must pay you back then
30:35you are wild
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