- 2 days ago
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May take three stunning British supercars — the McLaren MP4-12C Spider, Jaguar F-Type, and Aston Martin Vanquish — to Spain for an ultimate showdown on road and track. The team tests speed, luxury, and national pride while Benedict Cumberbatch takes on the Reasonably Priced Car.
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Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00MUSIC
00:00:18Hello! Hello, everybody!
00:00:21Thank you so much!
00:00:23We're back!
00:00:25We are back!
00:00:30Yes, however, we're back,
00:00:33and I'm sure many of you will be delighted to hear
00:00:36that in this, our 20th series,
00:00:39we've slowed down a little and grown up a lot.
00:00:45We have.
00:00:46To show you what I mean, we've prepared a montage
00:00:49which shows what you can expect over the coming weeks
00:00:53from a new, more mature Top Gear.
00:01:00Gentlemen, the time has come.
00:01:07Oh, you're joking!
00:01:11What I'm saying is, we turned this town
00:01:14into a street circuit.
00:01:21Oh, no!
00:01:22Ow!
00:01:23He's looking good there, looking good.
00:01:34Sorry!
00:01:39It's uphill!
00:01:40Yeah!
00:01:41Keep going!
00:01:42Hell yeah!
00:01:43It is a rampant rabbit!
00:01:46There has been a crash.
00:01:53Oh, in the face!
00:01:58I can hear a bite.
00:02:03What did we learn?
00:02:04Really?
00:02:05Not much evidence of maturity there.
00:02:10Probably because of the reason.
00:02:12But anyway, that is all to come.
00:02:16Some of it later on.
00:02:17But we begin in the 1980s.
00:02:21Back then, hot hatchbacks were very, very popular.
00:02:24Everybody wanted to steal one.
00:02:27And perhaps that's why they went away.
00:02:29But now, they're coming back.
00:02:31And we thought we ought to see what's what.
00:02:33So, Richard Hammond is your adjudicator.
00:02:36And the track is our battleground.
00:02:44This is the first one to come charging over the top.
00:02:48The Peugeot 208 GTI.
00:02:51Rightio, what we're looking for here is something we haven't seen in a long while.
00:03:00A Peugeot where you can actually feel its pulse.
00:03:04And it's off to a promising start, because they certainly haven't scrimped on power.
00:03:11200 horsepower.
00:03:12That's what you get from the 1.6-litre turbo.
00:03:15And that's quite a generous helping in a little car.
00:03:180-60 is dispatched in under seven seconds.
00:03:25And then comes the torque.
00:03:27Quite a lot of it.
00:03:28203 foot pans.
00:03:33It's like surfing a giant wave of exploding petrol.
00:03:38The designers have been allowed to enjoy themselves, too.
00:03:49Because everywhere you look, there are little reminders of the much-loved 205 GTI.
00:03:58It's good. It shows intent.
00:04:00Like this chubby little steering wheel. It says, come on, then. Let's get on and do something.
00:04:07Which brings us neatly to the most important part of a GTI.
00:04:12What happens when you ask it to go round a corner?
00:04:16Come on, little Peugeot. Let's see if you can set my trousers on fire.
00:04:18There it is.
00:04:21It does eat up corners.
00:04:34It's light. There's loads of grip.
00:04:39And I swear I'm cocking a wheel. I'm sure I am.
00:04:43That's a wheel in the air.
00:04:45Bit of that. Turn the indicators off.
00:04:48And carry on like you meant it.
00:04:50That's the way to do it.
00:04:51There's no doubt about it. This car is a real return to form from a company that's been stuck in a rut of dreary boxes for too long.
00:05:04But remember, we're now in a GTI war.
00:05:08And to win it, the Peugeot must take on this.
00:05:15The brand new hot Renault Clio.
00:05:21Like the Peugeot, it doesn't lack, for oomph, 197 brake horsepower.
00:05:29From, like the Peugeot, a 1.6 litre turbo.
00:05:34But where the Peugeot looks back to the old 205,
00:05:40the Renault is aimed squarely at today's computer geeks.
00:05:47This central screen here, I've got gauges.
00:05:50A lot of them.
00:05:53I've got the G diagram of my G.
00:05:57And then this is real PlayStation stuff, but you can actually change the sound of the engine.
00:06:03So you go into the menu, and then you can select the noise from different cars.
00:06:08It's like a Renault Alpine, which is an old classic, or even a Nissan GT-R.
00:06:12So I'm going to have, I'm going to have a V6.
00:06:21Oh, that sounds, yeah!
00:06:23If ten-year-olds could drive, they would love this.
00:06:27And then, when you push this button, a strangely familiar crash helmet appears.
00:06:35And you can do this.
00:06:38It makes it a ride, it breaks, everything a lot more hardcore.
00:06:46Oh, come on, that's, that's feeling nice.
00:06:50Without doubt, the computerized Clio has a more juvenile streak than the Peugeot.
00:07:01But sadly, it also has a really annoying problem.
00:07:07This gearbox, it's about as sharp as a vicar sweeping up leaves.
00:07:13Through the bends, it just doesn't have the speed to react.
00:07:16And there's another problem.
00:07:18The whole idea of a flappy paddle gearbox in a hot hatch.
00:07:22I don't want to sound like James May.
00:07:23Oh, I prefer the old-fashioned type.
00:07:25But I do.
00:07:27Changing gear is a vital form of self-expression that I'm being denied.
00:07:30It's not like you can opt for a manual either.
00:07:36Because with this car, it's flappy paddle or nothing.
00:07:40The high-tech little Renault is good.
00:07:43But the stupid gearbox spoils your fun.
00:07:49And that leaves it vulnerable to attack from this.
00:07:56The Ford Fiesta ST.
00:07:58It's been five too long years since Ford gave us a hot Fiesta.
00:08:05And on paper, this thing looks to be going into battle with the French's on the back foot.
00:08:10Because like the other two, it's got a 1.6-litre turbo, but 20 brake horsepower less.
00:08:16179.
00:08:18But here's the thing.
00:08:20The other two each cost just under 19 grand.
00:08:23This is two grand cheaper.
00:08:24Yet despite the reasonable price, the Fiesta certainly looks the part.
00:08:32It's got fat 17-inch alloys.
00:08:36Recaro seats.
00:08:38And a full suite of skirts, spoilers and big exhausts.
00:08:42All of which is very nice.
00:08:43But with that 20 horsepower deficit, the Fiesta is still likely to get a pasting in a drag race.
00:08:55But you never know, this is lighter and it has more torque.
00:09:01It might win.
00:09:03Or come second.
00:09:05What's that?
00:09:09Three, two, one, go!
00:09:17Changing gear as quickly as I can.
00:09:19Manually.
00:09:21Come there.
00:09:23Come on, come on Ford, come on!
00:09:25No!
00:09:27Yeah, it's done the third thing.
00:09:31It's did the third option.
00:09:33But then I took the Ford for a spot of cornering.
00:09:37Oh, this is epic!
00:09:50The others have had their suspension lowered a bit.
00:09:55This has had it dropped by a whole juicy 15 millimetres.
00:09:59You can feel it.
00:10:02It corners flat.
00:10:09It's not just about being nearer the ground.
00:10:13Everything about the Fiesta, the steering, the handling, the responsiveness is peerless.
00:10:19They've got this bang on right.
00:10:22It's brilliant.
00:10:23And when you switch the traction control off, it really is off.
00:10:34Ford have remembered the key mantra of a hot hat.
00:10:39It's not just what it does.
00:10:42It's how it makes you feel while it's doing it.
00:10:47You can't put a price on that.
00:10:48Superb!
00:10:59So, conclusion time.
00:11:01The Peugeot and the Renault are really very good.
00:11:05But the Ford?
00:11:07The Ford is simply brilliant.
00:11:09It is though, it is.
00:11:11It's fabulous.
00:11:13It's almost as though all the planets aligned to make this car.
00:11:18Exactly it.
00:11:20Everything was in place.
00:11:22Exactly it.
00:11:24In years to come, this will be looked back on as an all-time classic.
00:11:28Yes, it's the same way we look back now on the Sierra Cosmos or the RS 2000.
00:11:33RS 2000, the Mexico.
00:11:35Lotus Cortina.
00:11:36That's how good this thing is.
00:11:37It is.
00:11:38I mean, the other two are good, very good.
00:11:40But this thing is just genius.
00:11:42It is.
00:11:43But is it the fastest round our track?
00:11:45Well, to find out, we must give them all to our tame racing driver.
00:11:49Some say he has the world's largest collection of horse eggs.
00:11:55And that when he knocked Rafa Nadal out this week, it wasn't during a game of tennis.
00:12:01All we know is, he's called the Stig.
00:12:04And they're off.
00:12:06A strong start from the Fiesta, but the other two soon level up as they pile down to the first corner.
00:12:12Turbos spinning furiously.
00:12:13Tyres howling as they do to the left, but that's about as dramatic as it gets so far.
00:12:26I'm told the Stig was listening to TV theme tunes there.
00:12:30Frankly, it sounded like an accident in a bric-a-brac shop.
00:12:33Anyway, they swing round Chicago, no fuss.
00:12:36Into the Hammerhead.
00:12:38This should root out understeer as they're all front-wheel drive.
00:12:41Fiesta flashing its hazards under hard braking, but they're all bang on line.
00:12:45Very tidy.
00:12:47Impressive stuff.
00:12:53Stig choosing to reverse round in the Renault for some reason.
00:12:57Anyway, is the Fiesta's lack of power going to be exposed here?
00:12:59No, not by the look of it.
00:13:02Two corners left.
00:13:04Peugeot cocking a wheel.
00:13:06Yes, there we are as he goes into the second to last corner.
00:13:09Only Gambon.
00:13:11All three scampering through there.
00:13:13Not much between them and across the line.
00:13:18Okay, now.
00:13:20The Renault.
00:13:22That did it in one minute, 32 seconds.
00:13:24The Peugeot.
00:13:26One minute, 33.2 seconds.
00:13:29And the Ford Fiesta. This is the one we're interested in.
00:13:31One 32.7.
00:13:33So, it's in the middle.
00:13:35But it doesn't matter. This is still the one to buy.
00:13:38I honestly haven't driven a car as surprising or as likeable as this for a very, very long while.
00:13:45The only thing I don't like about it is the name.
00:13:48ST.
00:13:50And why have they named it after a lady towel?
00:13:53And now, the news.
00:13:55And the news is, you may have read about this recently, there are plans to open pubs in motorway service stations.
00:14:00I don't get that.
00:14:02I don't get it either because, as it's on the motorway, you're bound to be driving.
00:14:07Mm-hmm.
00:14:08Which means you can only have one drink and when it comes to drink, one is impossible.
00:14:12Yeah, I guess.
00:14:14What if, what if you're the passenger?
00:14:18Oh, I see, James. So, I'm driving you and as I fill up with petrol, you say, I'm going to go and get a gin and tonic.
00:14:25Yes.
00:14:27Well, if you do that, you may as well prepare a sign that says Hammersmith on a bit of card.
00:14:32Because when you come out, I'll have gone.
00:14:35I'm not actually that interested in pubs in motorway service stations.
00:14:37What really bothers me is, why do they sell trousers?
00:14:41Because I've never got halfway.
00:14:44Has anybody ever gone halfway through a motorway journey and they thought, I've got my trousers?
00:14:49I'd better get these elasticated beige ones.
00:14:51I don't understand why people even stop to eat at a motorway service station.
00:14:56There is no car journey in Britain that could be so long that you would starve to death before you got there.
00:15:00That's my argument with the pub thing is, it's not that far to wait for a drink.
00:15:05You don't think, I'm so desperate, I'm going to pull over and have half a pint of shandy.
00:15:11I would.
00:15:13Well, that's because you're a raving alcoholic, James.
00:15:15Can I move it off?
00:15:17We got off topic the other day.
00:15:19Can I talk please, if you don't mind, about potholes.
00:15:22Out where I live, in Herefordshire, I came to work the other day on my bike and I hit a pothole.
00:15:27It was vast! I shot up about 15 feet in the air off the bike.
00:15:31By the time I was coming back down, the bike had hit the opposite wall, it bounced up.
00:15:35Net result, as I was coming down, it leapt up and head-butted me in the plums.
00:15:38And it was agony.
00:15:40No, that's why I was late to the office, because I had to stop by the side of the road and massage them.
00:15:46So let's just get this straight, you were standing by the side of a presumably busy main road, rubbing your testes.
00:15:54In letter trousers, yeah, come to think of it.
00:15:57If you saw that, that's what was going on.
00:16:00I'll tell you what though, Hammond, the pothole is not the problem.
00:16:04It's a pothole that's been repaired by a British worker, Johnny.
00:16:10Look at this, okay? This is, look at that.
00:16:13How can you stand back and go, yes, I've done a good job there?
00:16:18It can't be that difficult for a solution.
00:16:21They need to design like a liquid that you just pour in to potholes everywhere and then it sets, so it's self-level and it would set up.
00:16:29Why could you not do that? It is a brilliant idea.
00:16:32I think it's mine. It's available.
00:16:35My cheese sauce.
00:16:37What?
00:16:39James, you know I said that we've got more mature in this series, you've gone straight to dementia.
00:16:44No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:46Cheese sauce.
00:16:47When I make cheese sauce, I always make too much like everybody does, so there's like a quarter of an inch in the bottom of the pan.
00:16:51And when you get up the next day, that bit is so hard, you either throw the pan away or you treat that as the new bottom of the pan.
00:16:58So if you put that in the hole, cheese sauce.
00:17:02Your uncle.
00:17:03We've solved it.
00:17:05We've solved the pothole problem.
00:17:06Oh, God.
00:17:07How has the world managed without us for the last few months?
00:17:11Can I let you into a little secret?
00:17:14Oh, is it time?
00:17:15Did everybody already know?
00:17:25I think after the 20 series.
00:17:28No, but...
00:17:30No, can I let you into a little secret?
00:17:32You know those gantries over the motorway, they've got them on the M25 and on the M1, okay?
00:17:36on the end while I'm gay now the idea is they've got speed limits on them so you can temporarily
00:17:39lower the speed limit to warn drivers of an accident or congestion ahead and then there
00:17:44are speed cameras on the back of the gantries to make sure that people do actually slow down well
00:17:49now here's my secret it turns out the police can turn those cameras on at any time they like really
00:17:57which means the chief constable sitting there at his desk it's I fancy a new car the cameras on
00:18:03and after I was going to say half an hour but probably ten seconds he's got enough for a supercharged
00:18:09Jag we should point out for reasons of BBC impartiality that other luxury cars are available
00:18:17to bend to bend chiefs of policemen right now can we talk about BMW yes yes they're on a bit of a
00:18:26roll at the moment they are making some cracking cars very much no they really are and now there's
00:18:30another new one coming okay it's called the four series got a picture of it here and what it is
00:18:34it's a replacement for the two door three series coupe and I think that looks absolutely fantastic
00:18:40and best of all there's going to be a motorsport version so that'll be called the M4 so presumably
00:18:47it'll be fantastic at one end and then very dark and miserable at the other end and then you'll pay a
00:18:53toll to put something in the boot but not to take it out again why are they naming after the M4 because
00:18:59it's awful I have to spend a lot of time on it and it's the worst motorway in the world so call it
00:19:04something else but hang on a minute if you think the M4 is the worst motorway in the world why do you
00:19:08spend all your life driving up and down it because I live at the other end of it why do you live at our
00:19:13end of it because my house is at the other end well move house I like living there I just don't like
00:19:18traveling there on the motorway but that's a large part of living there is traveling there I like
00:19:22being on top gear I don't like having to talk to you live where top gear is made you can live at our
00:19:27end you can do things like have electricity sewers watch television you can go out for a Chinese meal
00:19:33an Indian meal the M4 I just don't like the bit in between it and where you are but how much of a
00:19:38shock is it to you to get into a car where we live and then get out to the other end all you can do is
00:19:43light a candle or make your own chutney anyway the BMW goes on sale at the end of the year prices start
00:19:50at 31 and a half thousand pounds unless of course you live where Hammond does in which case it's 16
00:19:55groats and an oxy now moving on tonight we are going to have a race and it's a very very important
00:20:05one because it's to see which is fastest Jeremy in a car or me on a sailing boat you know first of all
00:20:12we needed a course okay now the producers suggested we go from Great Yarmouth at the North Sea to
00:20:18Edinburgh or perhaps from Aberystwyth down through the Irish Sea to say the Lizard Point in Cornwall
00:20:25but then James and I had a better idea yes we did welcome to New Zealand the perfect location for
00:20:39our duel pretty landscapes for Jeremy to drive through and most importantly for me see that's
00:20:46warm so our race this is what New Zealand looks like this is the bit we're interested in blown up
00:20:54for you here I shall be starting from this very beach which is here on the map and racing up here to
00:21:00the second most northerly point in New Zealand Jeremy meanwhile will have to go down here through the
00:21:07centre of Auckland and all the way up here to reach the same point so I only have to cover 220 miles Jeremy
00:21:16has to cover 410 to make matters even worse for Jeremy 35% of New Zealand's roads are unpaved which
00:21:27would slow him down and this is what he'd be up against it's called an AC 45 and it's the fastest
00:21:37production sailing boat in the world with a carbon fiber hull and a rigid sail as big as the wing on a
00:21:46Boeing 737 it can reach over 30 knots then there's the crew all but one are winners of the America's Cup
00:21:57the most prestigious trophy in yacht racing and as for the one who isn't well he's Sir Ben Ainslie four
00:22:04times Olympic sailing gold medalist put all this together and Jeremy hasn't got a chance I do realize
00:22:18the enormity of the challenge I face which is why I have gone for the fastest car in the world here it
00:22:26is Toyota Corolla was that what it is I haven't looked yes it is so what is a 1.8 litre Toyota Corolla engine
00:22:34size is irrelevant James because do you know what makes this so fast look in the window I've rented it
00:22:43oh yes and this is the thing you see I mean the Bugatti Veyron sometimes you're using 15 horsepower
00:22:51sometimes you're using only 10 this you've got 140 horsepower from the moment you start it up to the
00:22:57moment you crash it did you pick up one of those um what are they called collision damage waiver form
00:23:03no I picked up six hmm the back was turned a lot of some of those so you're ready I'm really ready
00:23:11for this everybody else ready right this race will start at precisely seven o'clock tomorrow morning
00:23:18okay please flight check complete there's the boat soon it will be pointing in the correct
00:23:35direction and the race will begin eventually the boat had done it's jibing and sheeting and going
00:23:42about and all the crew were at their stations and so with precisely 11 minutes past seven the race began
00:23:53okay we're racing we're going go boy deploy whenever ready
00:24:12this is not simply a race between a sailing boat and a little blue hatchback I am on a mission from God
00:24:25because the world has got it into its head that wind power is the solution to everything and I just
00:24:31don't think it is wind is just annoying internal combustion is good and at that moment it looked like
00:24:42I may have had a point the wrong sail yep what when you say the wrong sail where is the other
00:24:53sail that's right in front of us in that bag with the sails having to be swapped over quickly the crew
00:25:00got very shouty with me James what are you doing there get in and help
00:25:09the boat was stationary just 200 meters from the start line things were looking good for Jeremy
00:25:17oh wow
00:25:20it was PJ O'Rourke the American author who first noticed that higher cars are the fastest cars in
00:25:29the world and he is of course completely correct because when was the last time you took your car
00:25:38to the red line or you drove it flat out never but here in this now yes because it isn't mine
00:25:46back at sea the new sail was up but we still weren't going fast enough
00:26:0012 knots which is about 14 miles per hour in car terms that's not bad but at that rate it would take
00:26:09us 15 hours that's no good despite the gravel roads I was going quite a lot faster
00:26:17a hundred kilometers an hour right there into four
00:26:23maybe going a little too fast there but it's not my car so it doesn't matter
00:26:32I just feel so sorry for James he's on a boat he's not going to see anything of New Zealand the prettiest
00:26:40country in the world I hate something after its wonky start the boat was finally starting to stretch
00:26:56his legs how fast we go 25 knots that's tremendous we're about eight miles from the shore so we've got
00:27:04200 miles to run this speed however did have its downsides what's my rank on this trip skipper am I
00:27:19the coxswain or the bosun or the roger the cabin boy right now you're the cabin boy cabin boy that'd be
00:27:26all right if you had a cabin right accident report form was habeas vehicle on correct side of the road
00:27:34yes I was explain how accident occurred a maniac came the other way state who in your opinion was
00:27:42responsible for the accidents were him him he was mad right onwards
00:27:49okay three two one driving
00:27:58come on James put some effort
00:28:03this is so catastrophically uncomfortable as a way to travel
00:28:12the 65 pounds a day higher car on the 700,000 pound boat hunkered down and pressed on
00:28:26tarmac white lines
00:28:38we've covered 36 miles 36 courses are 310
00:28:52ranging that Oli was well in the lead I pulled over to call James
00:29:00Hello James May
00:29:04yes hello
00:29:06what speed are you doing
00:29:07we've been cracking along at 23 knots plus at some things it goes like stink
00:29:1323 knots, wow!
00:29:16Is it exhausting?
00:29:18No, I want to say it's bloody uncomfortable and unpleasant,
00:29:21but Sir Ben Ainslie is sitting next to me, so I can't really say that.
00:29:24Can you congratulate him for how good he was in both Gandhi and Sexy Beast?
00:29:30At this point, the producers showed me a tracking device
00:29:33that revealed where James actually was.
00:29:36Oh, my giddy aunt!
00:29:38That can't be right, according to this, you're miles ahead of me.
00:29:42Are you still talking to me? I can't hear you.
00:29:45Holy cow! Get off the phone, I'm busy!
00:29:49Hello?
00:29:53James was 170 miles from the finish line,
00:29:57whereas I, because of the unique way New Zealand is shaped,
00:30:00was still heading in the wrong direction, with 340 miles to go.
00:30:08What if I lose this race, people?
00:30:11If you're campaigning now to stop the government building
00:30:14two and a half thousand windmills in your back garden
00:30:16to provide you with enough electricity for the pump in your fish tank,
00:30:20and I lose this, I can only apologise.
00:30:23I'm trying to help you out here, but I'm losing.
00:30:26I'm losing.
00:30:27And I'm losing badly.
00:30:28I'm losing.
00:30:29I'm losing.
00:30:30I'm losing.
00:30:31I'm actually losing.
00:30:32I don't like losing.
00:30:33I'm losing.
00:30:35I'm losing.
00:30:36That boat, that boat, that boat is like being on a trampoline,
00:30:40that's on a trampoline, while somebody throws buckets of salty water in your face,
00:30:44That boat, that boat is like being on a trampoline that's on a trampoline while somebody throws buckets of salty water in your face and then dries you off with a blowtorch.
00:31:03I know what you mean, on those gravel roads, the bumpiness in that car.
00:31:06No, no, Jerry, you don't know what I mean. I just wanted to hit a mine. I wanted it to be over.
00:31:12Well, we'll find out what happens later on, OK? But now it is time to introduce to you all a brand new reasonably priced car.
00:31:20The old Kia C apostrophe D has been retired, probably sold to a little old lady as an ex-demonstrator, very low mileage.
00:31:26And this is what shall replace it.
00:31:29Yeah, this is a big moment, ladies and gentlemen, the unveiling of what is, after all, only our fourth reasonably priced car.
00:31:36And so, what do you think of that?
00:31:40Yeah!
00:31:43It's drawn applause and I'm not surprised because, ladies and men, this is a Vauxhall Astra 1.6 tech line built in Britain and available for £17,345.
00:31:59Yeah. Now, that may not sound like particularly good value, but you need to know that the Astra tech line...
00:32:06Remember to go into your local radio voice here.
00:32:08Oh, got it, I'm ready. Here we go. The Astra tech line...
00:32:10Comes with...
00:32:12...a lifetime warranty!
00:32:14A lifetime warranty. Now, think about that. If you're 17 and you live to be 95 or even 100, that represents what?
00:32:23No. No, it's the lifetime of the car, not the owner. It's different.
00:32:28The car?
00:32:29Yeah. I mean, it depends how long the car lives.
00:32:31It's going to be a lot shorter.
00:32:33I don't know. It could be a long-lived car.
00:32:35Well, whatever. We decided to launch it with a star-studded party.
00:32:40We arrived at the track bright and early so we could set up the catering and the hospitality.
00:32:51And soon, everything was ready for our distinguished guests.
00:32:55We have invited literally everybody from the world of celebrity.
00:33:00President Carter, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Moira Stewart.
00:33:03I tell you who I have invited just for you, because I know you like her, Joss Stone.
00:33:09Really?
00:33:10Yes. You'll be rubbish with her.
00:33:12Hammond is literally the world's worst human being at small talk.
00:33:16Joss, would you like a tea bag? See, I can do it.
00:33:19You know, small talk's really easy, Hammond. You just be interested in somebody else.
00:33:23That's where it falls down, you see.
00:33:25You walk up and you want to know where do their kids go to school, where do they live.
00:33:32My lesson in small talk was interrupted by the arrival of our first guest, Brian Johnson, out of ACD.
00:33:38Good to see you, me son. Are you all right?
00:33:42Brian, how are you, mate? You well?
00:33:44I'm doing good, Richard, me bunny lad.
00:33:46Very nice to see you. Good to see you. How are you?
00:33:48I fit as a butcher's dog.
00:33:50And have you got a new car?
00:33:51Yeah, you are the very first person to drive the new Vauxhall Astra tech line.
00:33:55And since this was the maiden voyage for our new car, we decided to give it a bit of a send-off.
00:34:04This is it.
00:34:05Yeah.
00:34:06Yeah.
00:34:07Proud moment. A new, reasonably priced car will cut the ribbon, thanks to Brian Johnson.
00:34:13In three, two, one, go!
00:34:21It's got stuck in the car.
00:34:22You stupid idiot.
00:34:23Well...
00:34:24What tape have you used?
00:34:25It didn't cut it.
00:34:26I've...
00:34:27What happened?
00:34:28Sorry, Brian.
00:34:29Just you back up, Brian. Back up. Edit this out. Edit this out. In three, two, one, go!
00:34:36Oh!
00:34:39Okay, come on, little boy. Let's get this little puppy rounded.
00:34:44Whilst Brian pounded round the track...
00:34:48Our next guest arrived.
00:34:50Charles Dance out of Game of Thrones.
00:34:53Where's the other one? Where's the third member of yours?
00:34:55He doesn't come down. He's...
00:34:57He's interested mostly in classical harpsichord music rather than...
00:35:01Richard, that's disgusting, can't it?
00:35:02It is, it is. Thank you.
00:35:03F***ing horrible.
00:35:07Come on, you f***ing little s***.
00:35:12With Brian busy enjoying himself, I had plenty of time to quiz time in Lannister about my favourite programme.
00:35:19I assumed that you'd obviously be with Tyrion Lannister and Lena...
00:35:23Yeah.
00:35:24Diddy.
00:35:25And who else is there? Oh, Sansa.
00:35:27You have literally no idea what we're talking about, do you?
00:35:29Yes.
00:35:30Have you not watched it, Richard?
00:35:31Yes.
00:35:32You have?
00:35:33No.
00:35:34Before Richard could make any more conversational errors, Brian came back to see how he'd got on.
00:35:39When you were last here in the Chevrolet Lissetti, you did a 145.9.
00:35:44Right.
00:35:45Yeah.
00:35:46In the Vauxhall Astra tech line.
00:35:48With lifetime warranty.
00:35:50One.
00:35:51Forty.
00:35:52Five.
00:35:53Oh.
00:35:54One.
00:35:55Oh, brilliant.
00:35:56You're faster than you were before.
00:35:58Where?
00:35:59There.
00:36:00There.
00:36:01Yeah.
00:36:02Brian Johnson.
00:36:03Oh, that's just...
00:36:04He doesn't know what to say.
00:36:05I mean, he's...
00:36:06With a target to aim for...
00:36:09The Hand of the King set off.
00:36:12OK.
00:36:13Come on, Charlie.
00:36:15And whilst he was on the track, one of Hammond's guests arrived.
00:36:19Actor Warwick Davis.
00:36:20Hello.
00:36:21Hi, Jeremy.
00:36:22How are you?
00:36:23Good, thank you.
00:36:24How are you?
00:36:25Very well.
00:36:26Excellent.
00:36:27Pedals.
00:36:28Pedals.
00:36:29No, it's my extension pedals.
00:36:30For the car.
00:36:31They go on the car, you see.
00:36:32You don't have something like this.
00:36:33No, but I like the look of them.
00:36:34Yeah.
00:36:35You have only got two.
00:36:36But that's all you need, isn't it?
00:36:38Brake automatic.
00:36:39Yeah.
00:36:40It's manual.
00:36:41Um...
00:36:42We'll improvise.
00:36:46Nearly a knob with the camera, man.
00:36:51Once Tywin had finished and we'd got his time on the lapboard...
00:36:57One...
00:36:59Forty.
00:37:00Oh, heaven to both.
00:37:01Eight.
00:37:02Oh.
00:37:03Point eight.
00:37:04Hammond and Warwick set off to make an extended clutch pedal.
00:37:08Yeah, I was going to do that.
00:37:09He's brought two pedals down.
00:37:12Yeah.
00:37:13But it's a manual.
00:37:15Oh, oh, problem.
00:37:17Yeah.
00:37:18Problem.
00:37:19I need to set a good lap time and how can I if this just sort of disintegrates?
00:37:23Is that an excuse?
00:37:24You know, oh, it wasn't a very good time because it's clutch pedal.
00:37:27I'm not trying to give you excuses.
00:37:29I'm trying to give you a chance.
00:37:31Okay, let me sit in there and push that.
00:37:33Let me push the Pringles.
00:37:35Okay.
00:37:36Obviously, we need some sort of...
00:37:38Oh, hell.
00:37:39Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty low down here.
00:37:43But, okay, so let's just see, for argument's sake, whether this is strong enough.
00:37:49Okay, it is strong enough.
00:37:51Yeah.
00:37:52But I'm having to sort of steady it with my foot.
00:37:55And you're doing very well.
00:37:56Eventually, after much experimenting...
00:37:59More bread, yeah?
00:38:01Well, because that goes behind you.
00:38:03Look, then you...
00:38:04I'm still too low.
00:38:06Rorick set off on his time lapse.
00:38:09Oh, I can't get in gear.
00:38:11F***.
00:38:12Oh.
00:38:13Unfortunately, I couldn't be there to support him because I'd been distracted.
00:38:18This is Richard.
00:38:19Hello, Richard.
00:38:20He really fancies you.
00:38:21Hello.
00:38:22Nice to meet you.
00:38:23I've got a badge for you here.
00:38:24What's that?
00:38:25That's your badge.
00:38:26Oh, good, just in case.
00:38:27Maybe you should put that on.
00:38:28Okay, good.
00:38:29Um, right, good.
00:38:30I'm going to leave the two of you alone.
00:38:31Okay.
00:38:32Just to get to know each other.
00:38:33I can entertain you with my small talk, which is very, very, very good.
00:38:35His small talk's not very good.
00:38:36Yeah.
00:38:37Completely oblivious to Warwick's peril.
00:38:39Oh, God.
00:38:40Oh, bloody hell.
00:38:42Oh!
00:38:43Mr Smalltalk had completely forgotten not to go on about himself.
00:38:49Well, the important thing is not to panic, because, you know, everyone thinks helicopters
00:38:54will just fall out of the sky if the engine fails.
00:38:56But they won't.
00:38:57Right.
00:38:58I've had to land a couple of times for things.
00:39:01Without engines?
00:39:02Yep.
00:39:03A lot of skill involved.
00:39:05You have to be good.
00:39:08There's only so many people have got helicopter licenses.
00:39:11Oh, God.
00:39:16Ah!
00:39:17Oh, bloody hell.
00:39:18Ooh!
00:39:19As Warwick went off yet again, Jimmy Carr arrived.
00:39:23How are you?
00:39:24You all right?
00:39:25Very well, how are you?
00:39:26Very nice to see you.
00:39:27It's got your name on it.
00:39:28Lovely.
00:39:29That, my friend, that is teeth whitening.
00:39:30I don't know what you've had done.
00:39:31Ooh!
00:39:32But that, that's how that's done.
00:39:34Hot on Jimmy's heels was world heavyweight champion David Haye, who made a beeline for
00:39:39the boxing machine.
00:39:42Ooh!
00:39:44Oh, no!
00:39:45Oh, that's a good one.
00:39:47It's a good one.
00:39:48What does it say?
00:39:49A new record, ladies and gentlemen.
00:39:50Thank you very much.
00:39:51Well done.
00:39:52Well done.
00:39:53With Richard sulking at the attention David was getting from Joss, I had a go.
00:39:57Oh!
00:39:58Oh!
00:39:59Oh!
00:40:00No, you styled that out.
00:40:01You styled that out, man.
00:40:02Yeah, yeah.
00:40:03You styled that out.
00:40:04You look totally cool.
00:40:06Yes!
00:40:07Having finally mastered Hammond's terrible DIY, Warwick had managed to bang in a lap time.
00:40:13You did it in one, forty, six, eight.
00:40:20Oh!
00:40:21Slap!
00:40:23Bang in the middle.
00:40:24Pleased with that?
00:40:25Yeah, yeah.
00:40:26Oh!
00:40:27It's the third, and it's all the way.
00:40:36Whilst Joss was out on the track, a girl that Jeremy has a soft spot for arrived.
00:40:40Rachel Riley off-countdown.
00:40:42Wasn't expecting that.
00:40:43Hello!
00:40:44Hello!
00:40:45I'm Jeremy.
00:40:46I'm Rachel.
00:40:47Good to meet you, how are you?
00:40:48Good, thank you.
00:40:49Good, can I get you anything?
00:40:50Hi, Rachel. I'm Richard. Nice to meet you. How are you?
00:40:52I'm going over here.
00:40:55When Rachel saw the barbecue, she claimed she was a vegetarian.
00:40:59So I decided to make her some fish.
00:41:02I just need to come in here.
00:41:04Yes, I know. I just need to come in because I've got you some...
00:41:07Do you like sushi? I like sushi, yes.
00:41:09Excellent. I'll just...
00:41:11Shall I... Yeah.
00:41:13Are you a trained sushi chef?
00:41:15Oh, I've got soy sauce all over me.
00:41:17Yeah, you have.
00:41:19Sorry, Richard. Sorry.
00:41:20Making the sushi required a lot of care.
00:41:24There we go.
00:41:25But the results were worth it.
00:41:30Yes.
00:41:33It's like a bush tucker trial, this.
00:41:37Do not break on this toilet, OK?
00:41:41With her laps completed, Hammond insisted that he should put Joss's time on the board.
00:41:47Ten years we've done this show.
00:41:48Yeah.
00:41:49How many times have you done that?
00:41:50Loads.
00:41:51Never.
00:41:52I often do this bit of the show.
00:41:53Go on, then.
00:41:54Go on, then.
00:41:55Yeah.
00:41:56So, Joss, I've got your time written down over here.
00:41:59Although, for his sake, I hope it's not the fastest time, because he ain't getting it up there, is he?
00:42:02Yeah.
00:42:03Oh, from you!
00:42:07I love it!
00:42:09Nice!
00:42:10Even from Warwick.
00:42:11So, you want to beat the man from that thing?
00:42:14The hand of the king.
00:42:15That's the fella.
00:42:16Yeah.
00:42:18Right.
00:42:19And how fast did you do it?
00:42:20I'm getting to it!
00:42:21Guys!
00:42:22How fast did Joss do it?
00:42:23He did it in 148.
00:42:24It says on the bloody board, 148.8.
00:42:28You did it in 148.
00:42:35Oh, no!
00:42:36Oh, God!
00:42:37Don't say nine.
00:42:39Nine!
00:42:40Oh, no!
00:42:41Oh, shit!
00:42:43Get out of that one, Hammond.
00:42:46Oh, no!
00:42:47That's so sad!
00:42:48No, Joss.
00:42:49That was...
00:42:50Oh.
00:42:52Come on, my son!
00:42:54As David Hayes set about pummeling the Astratech line...
00:43:01Hammond's day got even worse.
00:43:03Hammond, look who it is!
00:43:05Who's that?
00:43:06That's Mike Rutherford out of Genesis.
00:43:10Hammond!
00:43:11Hammond?
00:43:12Hammond!
00:43:13Hammond!
00:43:14Mike!
00:43:15How are you?
00:43:16Very well, how are you?
00:43:17I'm very good.
00:43:18Good to see you.
00:43:19Where's the team?
00:43:20Richard?
00:43:21Richard?
00:43:22Yeah.
00:43:23Well, now, that's odd.
00:43:24He was here a minute ago.
00:43:26Because I have occasionally said some unkind things about Genesis on Top Gear,
00:43:31I decided to look for something on the floor and let Jeremy handle the chat stuff.
00:43:36Are you recording at the moment?
00:43:37I'm doing some Michael and Mechanics, yeah.
00:43:39Oh, brilliant!
00:43:40Jeremy's chat was then interrupted because dainty David had finished.
00:43:46You did 1.46.8.
00:43:48David, hey, you did 1.46.7.
00:43:50Oh!
00:43:55Tenth of a second faster.
00:43:58With Mike Rutherford out in the car...
00:44:01Avoid the cameraman over there.
00:44:02I'm doing it.
00:44:04Hammond suddenly re-emerged.
00:44:07Where have you been?
00:44:09If you're just hiding from him, he's one of the nicest people you'll ever...
00:44:12I don't doubt him.
00:44:13Is he not one of the nicest men?
00:44:14From Genesis.
00:44:15He's one of the top three guys in Genesis.
00:44:17Makes it worse.
00:44:18I want to know if Mike can do a lap faster...
00:44:21Than one on his tracks.
00:44:22No.
00:44:23No.
00:44:24Sorry.
00:44:25As it turned out, Hammond wasn't far off.
00:44:331...
00:44:3551...
00:44:39Point.
00:44:41Joss, that's not very ladylike.
00:44:42Yeah.
00:44:43Five.
00:44:50As Jimmy Carr set about his laps...
00:44:52Let's hope this is good.
00:44:53I hope this is good.
00:44:57Rachel decided to play the piano.
00:45:02It was nice.
00:45:04Till Jeremy joined in.
00:45:19If I can keep it on the road, that's going to help, isn't it?
00:45:23Because it had been several years since Jimmy had driven a reasonably priced car, we thought he might have mellowed.
00:45:30I think I might have broken the car.
00:45:45I'd like to present to you, Jimmy Carr, with these...
00:45:47You know the middle pedal?
00:45:48There's a clutch and there's the accelerator.
00:45:49Yes.
00:45:50There's one in between them.
00:45:51Oh, yeah, no.
00:45:52The footrest.
00:45:53One day we've had that, Jimmy.
00:45:54Do we have a jack?
00:45:55I think we can use...
00:45:56Warwick, you can lift things, right?
00:45:57I don't know what superpowers you people have, but can you lift it?
00:45:58You just referred to me as a jack.
00:45:59Before Jimmy got us taken off air, we rushed him over to the lap board.
00:46:04And where do you think you've come?
00:46:05I imagine I've beaten him.
00:46:07I mean, I know he does a lot of racing in his spare time.
00:46:08It's his hobby.
00:46:09But I just think natural ability, tough to beat.
00:46:10Won 45-1 to beat.
00:46:11You did a 1- 40- 5.6.
00:46:20Oh, no!
00:46:22That's right.
00:46:23That's nice.
00:46:37That's fair PDF.
00:46:38oh never that's very well done I think despite it's cost a car but the car eventually mended
00:46:45our final guest set off come on reasonably priced car and Hannan took one last shot at
00:46:54impressing Joss ready yeah oh god that's okay that's fine it's honest I'm fine but I can do it
00:47:01faster I just wanted to check that was okay and I was yeah I did this on a real sheet once at this
00:47:13point Joss decided to leave which meant Richard saw no point in staying either that left me all alone
00:47:22with Rachel so where do you think you've come definitely in this section definitely in this
00:47:40section actually in 148.5 so actually there you are faster than the hand of the king fastest woman
00:47:52whoa I need a I need something to calm down I need some kind of sedative with our work done we left
00:47:59the track in my helicopter to the pub pub oh yeah
00:48:03and there it is the reasonably priced car launched and ready for action
00:48:19anyway tonight we are having a race up the side of New Zealand from here to here yep it's James in a
00:48:29700,000 pound boat versus me in the fastest car in the world a 65 pound a day rented hatchback
00:48:36now when we left the action I was here and Jeremy was here so I was winning but I was very miserable
00:48:45all power higher car
00:49:03splash the caravan
00:49:09on board HMS misery life wasn't getting any better
00:49:17this is all I get to eat on the boat a melted bar of chocolate
00:49:22and a bag of nuts and you'll have to beat that work
00:49:28life in the car now I was on tarmac roads was much more comfortable
00:49:34radio
00:49:36crowded house nice local band now let's just try another radio station
00:49:48radio 3
00:49:56after 60 miles of crowded house I was finally heading in the right direction
00:50:09but I was approaching the often crowded city of Auckland
00:50:13according to the tracking device James is now a hundred miles ahead of me
00:50:20I'm doing 120 kilometers an hour on a very smooth road coming to get you James
00:50:41out at sea conditions were getting even worse
00:50:50hold on big fella you all right
00:50:54with the rough seas slowing us down I decided to use my sat phone to see where Jeremy was
00:51:02what's wrong that saw it clean out of my hand I just couldn't keep hold of it
00:51:13please
00:51:19I'm on a mission from God
00:51:24go go go
00:51:27right last chance with the radio
00:51:31Auckland on 90.2
00:51:34despite the conditions the sailors were pushing the boat to the ragged edge
00:51:46oh that's a big E
00:51:53oh that's a big
00:52:06yeah this is bloody madness mate
00:52:08yeah it's not too good it's like we've never sailed these things in these conditions before
00:52:11before and then you tell me 20 knots of breeze you know if we do go and you have
00:52:17to hang on because you're going to be breaking fine so really James the business
00:52:22for you to do mate is to hang on thank you
00:52:26in the little blue hatchback the news from the GPS tracking device was
00:52:31encouraging
00:52:33James may is now only 67 miles ahead I'm catching him but am I catching him
00:52:44fast enough that's the big question I decided to take a shortcut even though
00:52:51it would mean leaving the tarmac and using gravel roads instead
00:53:00this is going to save me 20 miles
00:53:07yeah
00:53:11my plan was working well but then the gravel ran out
00:53:16there's no track
00:53:27yeah I wouldn't do this on my Mercedes
00:53:30pretty certain of that
00:53:34oh dear I've run into the white cliffs of Dover literally
00:53:38still could be worse
00:53:42oh
00:53:49oh
00:53:51Sir Ben Ainslie sir
00:53:53yes
00:53:54please don't take this personally but this is bloody purgatory
00:53:57can you imagine
00:54:00oh
00:54:01wow
00:54:02meanwhile I've found the track
00:54:08this must take me back to the road
00:54:12oh my God tractor
00:54:16oh
00:54:17Oh, God!
00:54:23Sir Ben Ainslie, sir?
00:54:25Yes?
00:54:25What happens if you need a slash on this boat?
00:54:28I think there's a bucket somewhere.
00:54:30Right.
00:54:32I might just piss myself.
00:54:35Ah!
00:54:36What is the point of sailing?
00:54:40The track had indeed taken me back to the road,
00:54:43but the accident with the tractor meant I was no longer driving the fastest car in the world.
00:54:54The noise is not good.
00:54:58It's not going to make it. It just is not going to make it.
00:55:03So there was only one thing for it.
00:55:07Hi.
00:55:08Good afternoon.
00:55:09I've got a small problem with my car.
00:55:11There was a maniacal tractor driver who was doing, like, 70 kilometres an hour.
00:55:16I swerved.
00:55:17In a jiffy, the helpful hire car lady had me back in the race.
00:55:23Now, in one important respect, this car is not the same as the one I started out with.
00:55:29But at the finish line, I suspect James will be so exhausted he won't notice
00:55:38that I set off with a blue car and ended up with a red one.
00:55:43And anyway, right now, I had bigger issues, because I was 100 miles from the finish line and James was only 50 miles away.
00:55:54To win, then, I'd have to go twice as fast.
00:55:58Nice, Gav.
00:56:02Lovely work, Vinnie, boys.
00:56:05Stay vigilant, eh, boys? Stay on it.
00:56:08Anything for Jeremy? Where is he?
00:56:10No idea.
00:56:11No.
00:56:11No comms.
00:56:12Come on.
00:56:16You've got the fastest car in the world.
00:56:18Now use it.
00:56:2723 knots.
00:56:29Okay, three, two, one, driving.
00:56:36Come on, James, get my head.
00:56:38Come on, man.
00:56:38You've got the bloody love, boys.
00:56:42Come on, Jeremy, concentrate, concentrate.
00:56:48Make every corner as crisp as you can.
00:56:51Come on.
00:56:59It must have taken over nine hours.
00:57:04I'm so sick of this.
00:57:07What I really needed was a road with no corners.
00:57:12And thanks to this wonderful country, that's exactly what I found.
00:57:18This is called 90 Mile Beach, because it is exactly 55 miles long.
00:57:34I don't understand that either.
00:57:35What I do know, and I do understand, is that it is genuinely a public highway.
00:57:43It's a road.
00:57:44No traffic, no corners.
00:57:50James May, you have had it.
00:57:54in the boat we were about to go around the very top of new zealand
00:58:15that is the cape there once we've rounded that we think we'll have wind and a bit of tide with us
00:58:22water will be flat then we've got about 10 miles of pleasant sailing life in Howard's way
00:58:28it can't come soon enough
00:58:41it wobbly there
00:58:46yeah boys just stay vigilant for this last six or seven miles not far to go
00:58:52I was now off 90 mile beach back on gravel I wasn't expecting that
00:59:06come on small red hatchback whatever you are
00:59:15I'm doing this now to uphold the honor of coal gas and oil the cornerstones of civilization
00:59:25is that our beach there yeah the finish line was a checkered flag at the water's edge but to make my
00:59:38day even more miserable so Ben announced that the boat couldn't actually get there you're gonna have
00:59:44to jump off and swim ashore what you're joking
00:59:47there's now only five miles to go
00:59:54okay James
00:59:58don't lose it now don't not lose it now
01:00:05uh
01:00:15come on
01:00:17Come on!
01:00:31No! No!
01:00:35Come on! Please!
01:00:44Have a look. Have a one?
01:00:47Oh, man in heaven!
01:00:50Oh, God!
01:00:56Holy cow! Have you seen your face?
01:00:59I was just about to conclude and say we must now close down all coal and gas-powered power stations and switch immediately to wind power, because obviously it's better, but look what it does to you!
01:01:11It's brought me out in boils and sores and blindness. Did you have to use any of your insurance waiver forms?
01:01:20No, none at all. No, the car got here without a single scratch.
01:01:24It was blue when you set off.
01:01:28It wasn't, wasn't it?
01:01:30It was blue. It wasn't.
01:01:31I'd have sworn it was blue, wasn't it?
01:01:33Well done.
01:01:35Well done.
01:01:37Well done, James.
01:01:38Well done, mate.
01:01:40Can I just say, what?
01:01:43That boat...
01:01:45Oh, God, he's moaning again!
01:01:47No, but listen, it's £700,000, okay? You don't get a cabin, or you don't even get a chair, or a table, or a radio to listen to, or even a floor.
01:01:57Yes, yes, but James, you won.
01:01:59I didn't win, Hammond. The crew won. All I did was not fall off for 12 hours.
01:02:05Well, anyway, the conclusion is that wind power is obviously great, but it does give you a face like a prostitute's front door.
01:02:15And on that bombshell, it is time to end. Thank you so much for watching. See you next week. Good night!
01:02:20Good night!
01:02:25With Lewis Hamilton in pole, catch this afternoon's thrilling British Grand Prix from Silverstone, available now on the BBC iPlayer.
01:02:32But next, the story behind one of the greatest turning points in the history of life on Earth.
01:02:37Don't think I built that up too much, it's Rise of the Continents.
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