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00:22In me, you see a worried man.
00:25Do not be deceived by my happy face.
00:28I am a worried man.
00:30I am not frightened of the Gestapo.
00:32I am not frightened of the Germans.
00:34I am not even frightened of the French resistance.
00:37But my wife scares out of me the living day.
00:41She is spending my money like water.
00:44This is because, as you will know if you have been paying attention,
00:48I have been shot dead and am now posing as the twin brother of her late husband.
00:55And do you know what most of all makes me worry?
00:59I may have to marry her again to get my finger back in my own till.
01:04Do you know what I am doing with these flowers?
01:06I am going to woo her again.
01:08Because suddenly I have competition.
01:11Apparently, every able-bodied man in this village wants to get his hands on my restaurant.
01:15Even if it means marrying the old bat.
01:21Just look.
01:23Look at her.
01:24How valuable this property must be.
01:27My God, this is not going to be easy.
01:30I must be money mad.
01:32How much is there in the till?
01:34Ahem!
01:37Well, I suppose it is worth it.
01:40Here goes.
01:41Uh, Edith.
01:43Edith, my dear.
01:44Uh, drop that broom and come over here a moment, will you, please?
01:47I have much to do.
01:48We will be open soon.
01:49Oh, no.
01:50This is more important.
01:51Uh, come here, will you?
01:56Well, I have for you these.
01:59Why don't you put them in water by yourself?
02:02No, my dearest.
02:04They are for you.
02:05What have you been up to?
02:07Oh, my sweet.
02:09Have you been nicking more of my money out of the till?
02:12No, my pet.
02:13No, they are for you.
02:14No, because I love you.
02:18You have been drinking.
02:20I have never been more sober in my life.
02:23No, do you not remember, Edith?
02:25I used to give you flowers when we were courting.
02:28Oh, René.
02:29Oh, well, I remember.
02:31You were so romantic.
02:33Always you would give them to me on your knees.
02:36Did I?
02:37And you would swear to me of your undying love.
02:41Well, that is what I am doing now, dear Edith.
02:45René, meal for me once more.
02:54We do a trois.
02:55Yes?
02:57I saw you yesterday in the square.
02:59My compliments, my card.
03:02Pierre Legron?
03:06Steeplejack?
03:08Oh, you are so kind, but I'm afraid you are a little late.
03:11Someone is about to propose to me.
03:13Who?
03:13Me.
03:16Perhaps there is still a chance for me if you fancy people that size.
03:20She does not fancy people that size.
03:26But it was most kind of you to offer.
03:29If you don't ask, you don't get.
03:32You see, you are only just in time.
03:35So many suitors.
03:36Edith, let us just drop this charade, hmm?
03:40Let us just announce that we are getting married again, then things can be just as they were before.
03:44No, I am quite happy.
03:46So many men, so many offers.
03:49I am quite enjoying myself.
03:51I have played the field before.
03:53I will play it again.
03:55But, Edith, that was Nuvian Rangers.
03:58You won't be afraid to forget all about that.
04:01René, the rare room.
04:03Quick.
04:04Not now, Maria.
04:06No, it is Michel from More Resistence.
04:09What does she want?
04:11Well, how do I know?
04:12Come on, come follow me.
04:16Michel?
04:17Michel, where are you hiding?
04:18I am here.
04:21Now listen very carefully.
04:23I shall say this only once.
04:26I have good news.
04:28I have come here to collect the British airmen.
04:31I expect you will be very glad to get rid of them.
04:34You can say that again.
04:35I don't suppose she will.
04:40Further instructions will be sent to you by secret messenger,
04:44disguised as a simple farm worker.
04:46Why do I need further instructions?
04:48I thought this was the end of it all.
04:50You forget your position.
04:52Your Rumble Café is the headquarters of the organization to assist escaping airmen.
04:56To add explosives, to pass messages, and to organize sabotage.
05:01It is all happening here.
05:04I hope you'll tell people who want to marry you the sort of trouble you can get them into.
05:08It is like getting into bed with a time bomb.
05:11I have hinted at it.
05:12I expect it to put them off.
05:14Oh, they cannot wait to light the fuse.
05:18It is Yvette.
05:21Maria.
05:23Oh, does nobody here like...
05:27Shut up, you silly old bat.
05:29Do you want to wake up the old neighborhood?
05:31Get them down.
05:33Oh, are you like me?
05:35What are you doing with me?
05:38I am weak.
05:40I am feeble.
05:41I want to see my daughter married before the good Lord sends an angel to take me away.
05:51Oh, my God, already they have come for me.
05:56What sort of thing?
06:00I must be more important than I thought.
06:05Why is that one carrying a candle?
06:09Because where you are going, it will be very dark.
06:12I'm not wearing my mother like that.
06:14It is the airmen, Mother.
06:17We eat them while you were asleep.
06:19Oh, that's...
06:21I'm going mad.
06:23I am seeing flashing knobs.
06:27Oh, what the fuck?
06:32It is the raveo.
06:34Quick.
06:35Oh, my God.
06:37Oh, my God.
06:44Hello, Nighthawk.
06:45Hello, Nighthawk.
06:47Hello, hello.
06:48This is Nighthawk, receiving you loud and not very clear.
06:53Pass your message.
06:54Over.
06:55The flashing bed knobs are not reliable.
06:59The flashing bed knobs are not reliable.
07:01Get the code book.
07:01What does that mean?
07:02It means that we have been trying to get you for three days.
07:08My wife's mother does not understand flashing knobs.
07:13Over.
07:14Hold on while we try to decode your message to find out what it means.
07:19It means my wife's mother is a silly old bat.
07:22She does not understand flashing bed knobs.
07:24Now, pass your message over.
07:26The loved ones will be carried away in a chariot.
07:31Even in heaven, say no about my bad legs.
07:37This means the plane is coming tonight to pick up the British airmen.
07:43I say, chaps, there's a plane coming for you tonight.
07:45Oh, wacko!
07:47Well, let her move on.
07:48It's toodle-pip and back to dear old Blighty.
07:50Good chance!
07:55Hey, Flick, what brings you here?
07:58I'm afraid the colonel and the captain are absent.
08:00I am aware of this.
08:02I observed their departure through my powerful binoculars.
08:07My business is with you and in private.
08:12You wish me to kiss you?
08:13Not on duty, thank you.
08:17Are you sure there is nobody about?
08:19Such an half-lick.
08:21I have something to show you.
08:31That was too quick.
08:36I will do it more slowly.
08:44What did you see?
08:47Unusually large knockwurst.
08:50Correct.
08:53This one contains the real painting of the fallen Madonna by Van Klomp.
08:59This one is the forgery.
09:03The other forgery I had destroyed in a very hot furnace.
09:07This one, the forgery, you will give to the colonel von Strom, who will send it to the Fuhrer in
09:13Berlin.
09:14But what if the Fuhrer discovers it's a forgery?
09:17Then he will have the colonel shot.
09:20What about the real one?
09:22You will hide it.
09:24Certainly, Herr Flick, but where?
09:26You will give it to that cafe owner, René.
09:28Tell him to hang it with the other sausages in the kitchen, with the instructions that it belongs to a
09:33Herr Flick of the Gestapo, and nobody is to have a nibble.
09:38Will it be safe?
09:40Perfectly.
09:41Nobody would dare to touch a Gestapo sausage.
09:47What of the third sausage?
09:50This is our dinner.
09:54We will consume it tonight in René's back room by candlelight.
09:59Oh, Herr Flick, it will be so romantic.
10:02A candlelit knockwurst.
10:06It will be a heady evening.
10:10Herr Flick, a thought has just occurred to me.
10:13How will the French cafe owner know which is your special Gestapo sausage, containing the painting of the fallen Madonna
10:20with the big boobies by Ben Kroger?
10:23Very simple.
10:25Upon my special sausage is a little swastika.
10:29I should have guessed.
10:31You think of everything.
10:36May I kiss you now?
10:39Not while you are holding the sausage.
10:45Yvette, the airmen, have they gone?
10:48Half an hour ago.
10:49Good.
10:50Michelle said she was putting them in a safe place.
10:53And my wife, where is she?
10:55Oh, she is going to parade herself around the town square again.
10:59She has not brought yet another new attache.
11:02No.
11:03René, have you told your wife we are going to get married?
11:07Oh, not yet, Yvette.
11:09No, there are complications, you see.
11:11Well, what complications?
11:12Well, well, it is just possible.
11:16I may have to marry Edith again to get my restroom back.
11:20René, if you do, I will, I will kill myself.
11:25I will only marry her for a short time.
11:29Then I can throttle her or push her off a cliff or something.
11:33Why can't you push her off a cliff or something now?
11:37Where would I find a cliff in the town square?
11:40It's René.
11:42I love you some.
11:43You have got dough on your hands.
11:48Put on these.
11:54Oh, René.
11:57Kiss me.
11:58Kiss me.
12:03René, where are you?
12:06It is Maria.
12:07Quick, she must not catch us.
12:09Well, why not?
12:10She might tell my wife.
12:11But she is my best friend.
12:13Oh, the more reason why she must not catch us.
12:15Get back to your bread.
12:16René.
12:17Hmm?
12:18Lieutenant Roubaix is waiting in the bar.
12:20He has a present for you.
12:22Since I have been a single man, he always has a present for me.
12:32Ah, Monsieur René.
12:36I, uh, I have a little luxury.
12:39I have a little luxury for you.
12:40Oh.
12:40It is from Gay Paris.
12:42Where else?
12:44It is a lotion to put on the face after shaving.
12:48Oh.
12:48It's very popular with officers in the tank corps.
12:51I expect it makes the tank smell better.
12:54Yes, indeed.
12:55There's nothing worse than being squashed up in a hot tiger tank full of soldiers.
13:01Can you not leave the lid open?
13:03We do, but you have to be careful.
13:05Occasionally, the assistants drop hand grenades in.
13:09We execute dozens of them, but they take no notice.
13:13Oh, but it's very strong.
13:16It's better on the skin.
13:21Hmm.
13:23It's Lily of the Valley with an int of diesel.
13:27Oh, my apologies.
13:29Tuesday is maintenance day.
13:32I, uh, I do not want to be critical, but your lipstick is crooked.
13:41René, come here.
13:43We wish to talk to you.
13:45Of course.
13:46Yes?
13:48Sit down and pay attention.
13:51Right.
13:52Hmm.
13:53I understand that Helge has explained to you about the sausages.
13:57Get the paintings inside.
13:59Shut up, Hans.
14:00It's confusing enough without you joining in.
14:03Yes, uh, yes, Helge explained.
14:05Now, there is a real knuckwurst, a forged knuckwurst, and a knuckwurst for dinner, yes?
14:12You put it in a nutshell or a sausage skid.
14:18We now have all three sausages, please.
14:24Thank you for me.
14:26There.
14:28Ah.
14:30Now, as I understand it, this is the one containing the real painting because it has on it a little
14:37swastika, yeah?
14:38Uh, and now, one of these I cook, uh, and the other one contains the forged painting, which you are
14:44going to send to Hitler.
14:45Correct?
14:46Very nearly, yes.
14:49Helge has for us a most ingenious plan, which is why we have had to roll her in on the
14:55action.
14:57My plan is as follows.
14:59This sausage you will cook for 22 and a half minutes precisely, otherwise you will ruin it.
15:06This sausage, containing the real painting, you will hide in your cellar.
15:10Upon this sausage, containing the forgery, we will place a little swastika, and you will hang this sausage in your
15:17kitchen in accordance with Herflex's instructions.
15:21What are you going to send to Hitler?
15:23That is the clever bit.
15:25We are going to send to Hitler a forged knockwurst.
15:30Hans, it is not a forged knockwurst.
15:34It is a normal knockwurst.
15:37It's a normal knockwurst.
15:39And what is Hitler going to say when he gets a normal knockwurst?
15:43It will never arrive.
15:46Somebody will tell the resistance that there are valuable secret military supplies on the train, and the resistance will blow
15:54it up.
15:55Well, who is going to tell the resistance a silly story like that?
15:59The man who was hiding in his cellar a stolen Gestapo sausage.
16:05You cannot expect me to go about telling...
16:07Don't argue with me.
16:08I'll have you shot.
16:10But, Colonel, you cannot have me shot.
16:12We are thinning the war.
16:14I am a German officer, and I can shoot anyone I like.
16:22Now, Helga, the stamp.
16:28Yes.
16:32Now, you will take this one and hang it in the kitchen.
16:35And you will tell them to cook that one.
16:38For 22 and a half minutes.
16:40Yes, Colonel.
16:42René, you will hide this in your cellar.
16:45Oh, but...
16:48It's very lonely just talking to French girls.
16:51By all means, Lieutenant Kruber.
16:53I notice there's a spare seat here next to René.
16:56Oh, it is taken.
16:57We have finished our business, have we not, René?
17:00Hello.
17:01Hevlich.
17:02Hevlich of the Gestapo?
17:03Who else?
17:04Yes.
17:05Good evening, Colonel.
17:07Heil Hitler.
17:08Heil Hitler.
17:11Have our little foodstuffs been assigned to their correct destinations?
17:16Yes, Herr Flick.
17:17And the little gift for the Führer?
17:19That is at the parcels' office at the station.
17:22And we'll leave tomorrow night for Berlin.
17:25Good.
17:26We have cause for celebration.
17:28The Gestapo will buy you wine.
17:30A rare occasion, Herr Flick.
17:33It will be on the Gestapo Entertainment Allowance.
17:37Even rarer.
17:39Is it?
17:41And try yourself.
17:48Hans, when Herr Flick comes back, he will sit in that chair next to me.
17:52He must not observe the sausage.
17:56Take it.
17:58But, um...
17:59Mmm!
18:00Mmm!
18:03It is cold and clammy.
18:05It's coming.
18:06But suppose he sees me, didn't it?
18:09Well, push it down the table.
18:11René.
18:12Yes?
18:13Pass this to Lieutenant Gruber.
18:16Tell him not to say a word.
18:31Lieutenant Gruber.
18:34Do not say a word.
18:37I beg your pardon?
18:39Do not say a word.
18:54We must keep this a secret from the Gestapo.
18:58You can trust me.
19:03Shake yourselves.
19:07Well, as Field Marshal Guhring would have said,
19:12Bottoms up.
19:13Bottoms up.
19:20Lieutenant Gruber.
19:22You're not joining our toast.
19:25Oh, I am sorry.
19:27I was miles away.
19:30Where have you been until this time?
19:33Mummy, am I late?
19:35Oh, as the time has flown.
19:37My world has taken on a new magic.
19:40The flowers are brighter.
19:41The grass is greener.
19:43I feel I must sing a song of love and hope and cheer.
19:47Take off your hat and go and do the washing up.
19:51What do you want?
19:53Oh, patron.
19:55I am a simple farmhand.
19:57I gave madame a lift on my tractor.
20:00Oh, I have for you a message.
20:06Come to the bar.
20:09Well, maybe for a simple farmhand, you have perhaps a cognac.
20:15If you are a simple farmhand, you have simple tastes.
20:18You can have a beer.
20:23It is I, Leclerc.
20:26Well, well.
20:28Disguised as an idiot.
20:31You know, you had me completely...
20:33What is that terrible smell?
20:36I have been spreading the muck.
20:39Michel made him do it as part of his cover.
20:42It is practically all of his cover.
20:50The message.
20:52The chariot will pick up the lovers tonight at 2.
20:57You will be at the cow shed of Farmer Claude at 1.
21:01Remember to bring a hurricane lump.
21:07Get back to your dungy and tell Michel I am staying here.
21:12What is the matter with you?
21:14You have the guts of a sparrow.
21:16How could I, the widow at 3, marry such a coward when my husband died for France?
21:22He did.
21:23I think you are getting confused.
21:24It was I who died for France.
21:27I do not mean to die for France twice.
21:29Not in the same year.
21:31Tell Michel he will be there.
21:33Ah, I go.
21:47You are not consuming your sausage very quickly.
21:51I have never had such a big one before.
21:57I stick mine in the pickle.
22:00I vitalises it.
22:09You are telling me about the interrogation you carried out last week.
22:13I have talked enough shop for one night.
22:17I think I have also eaten enough knock fast.
22:20Then René will bring you a doggy bag.
22:23But I do not have a doggy.
22:25So we will throw it out of my staff car and let the French peasants fight over it.
22:33What fun.
22:36They are finished.
22:37Quick, Yvette.
22:38Get in with the bill.
22:44Your bill, Herr Flick.
22:45I will settle it at my Gestapo headquarters.
22:49Yes, Herr Flick.
22:50Bring it to me yourself.
22:52Alone.
22:54Yes, Herr Flick.
22:57They never do, of course.
23:00Are you ready?
23:03At your command, Herr Flick.
23:05Then we will go home.
23:09Your place or mine?
23:12You will go to your place.
23:13I will go to mine.
23:21Thank you, Herr Flick.
23:24Good night, Herr Flick.
23:27Good night.
23:28Good night.
23:29Good night.
23:31The girls look very cute in the uniform of French maids.
23:34Thank you, Herr Flick.
23:36They are very popular.
23:38Should you ever require their services, thank you.
23:41I do my own dusting, though.
23:44I leave that.
23:45I leave that.
23:45I leave that.
23:50Not forgetting Himmler.
23:52And Goebbels.
23:54And Goebbels.
23:56Quick.
23:57Lock up.
23:58We will leave by the side door.
24:09It is all clear.
24:11Follow me.
24:23Give the signal.
24:24What signal?
24:26To-oops.
24:27Of the owl.
24:28Idiot.
24:29I am a cafe owner.
24:30I do not do impersonations.
24:32Well, I will do it.
24:35To-oops.
24:37To-oops.
24:38To-oops.
24:40What sort of an owl was that?
24:44Apparently one that is unappreciated by the bird up there.
24:48A critic, perhaps.
24:58Don't move.
25:00I have four baskets with me.
25:03It is hard to get good help these days.
25:07Walk this way.
25:14And them out.
25:19What are these for?
25:21These are your covers.
25:22Oh.
25:23Oh.
25:25The cover is to be mushroom pickers.
25:28If you are stuffed, you are on your way to the fields to pick mushrooms for the restaurant.
25:32Ah.
25:33This is a good cover.
25:35The best ones pop up at night.
25:38Give them the guns.
25:43They're loaded, but they're not cucked.
25:48Why do we need guns?
25:50Mushrooms do not fight back.
25:53If the Germans find you helping British airmen to escape, you will have to shoot your way out.
25:58Where are the airmen?
25:59They are safely hidden.
26:01Follow me.
26:03Henriette.
26:13Thank you for letting me see you home, Henrik.
26:16Just in time.
26:19The rain is about to commence.
26:21My hair will get wet.
26:24Step forward under the brim of my white gestopper head.
26:36While I'm here, shall I kiss you?
26:40Well, all right.
26:41Just a quick canoodle.
26:55I find kissing you while the elements are active very exciting.
27:00Of course.
27:10Oh, we are going to get wet.
27:13Sissy.
27:14Follow me.
27:15Inside.
27:27What are you doing here?
27:29It is I, Henrik Laird.
27:31I am disguised as a simple milky maid.
27:36You look the same when you were a simple farmhand.
27:38It is the war, monsieur.
27:40We are very short of stuff.
27:42Where are the airmen?
27:43I shall take you to them.
27:46This is Gadir.
27:50This is Claudette.
27:54Here is Sophia.
27:58Bridget.
28:01And this, flight Lieutenant Fairfax.
28:05Hey, yeah!
28:10What is he doing here?
28:13He's waiting to be milking.
28:15Where is Castles?
28:16I'm in charge of the canteen.
28:19This air.
28:22The order seems a bit small.
28:24So that is what happened to my washing up gloves.
28:27I don't mind my asking, what are we all doing here?
28:30The plan is due in ten minutes.
28:32It will land the other side of the woods across the road.
28:36The road is controlled by the Germans.
28:38Should we encounter them,
28:39they will not suspect six mushroom pickers and an herd of cows.
28:43What?
28:44Are you trying to tell me that the Germans will not suspect that cow?
28:50Not when he is mixed amongst the others?
28:52Monsieur Leclerc, it is time.
28:54You and the farmer must lead out the cows.
28:56Yeah, immediately.
28:57All right.
29:16What's going on?
29:18It's jolly hard to see.
29:19Use your nose.
29:22What do we do now?
29:24We go to the fields to pick mushrooms.
29:27Which way is the field?
29:29Follow the cows.
29:33Look, Edith, I have already found a mushroom.
29:37That is a turd stall.
29:49I say, Fairfax, what's the matter?
29:53I've just troddened something.
29:56Well, it's nothing to do with me.
30:00I say, well, it's not easy.
30:01I mean, I say, it is amez sis.
30:11It's just a nice rub.
30:12Would you say, okay, fairfax has already had an alien ship?
30:13It's just astory.
30:14That's our code.
30:14Here we go.
30:14Look out, let's have another place to put some energy.
30:15We pop it, see, it'sコツ.
30:20Here we go.
30:20Welcome.
30:20Go.
30:21Sir!
30:25See.
30:27And wait.
30:27Come ici.
30:28There's a safety took you guys.
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