- 3 months ago
The trio attempt to build their own electric car and test whether it can beat the G-Wiz for practicality and performance. Jeremy also compares the Audi R8 V10 to the Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 — European refinement vs American power. Actor Michael Sheen joins as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car.
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Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Tonight, James drives a milk float, Richard says look out backwards, and I cut my finger
00:00:20on some aluminium. Now, if you buy a gee whiz, plainly you are not interested in style or
00:00:43comfort or speed, or practicality or driving pleasure or safety or your dignity. And that
00:00:52got us thinking, if all you want is a battery powered box, why spend eight and a half thousand
00:00:59pounds on one of these? Why not simply build one yourself? I mean, how hard can it be?
00:01:06Keen to get cracking, we went to the Top Gear Technology Centre and set to work.
00:01:13It's all very simple, really. I am in charge of the batteries and the electric motor, Clarkson
00:01:19is in charge, God help us, of the bodywork and interior, and Richard Hammond is in charge
00:01:25of the chassis and the brakes. If you are going to build your own car, there's no point just
00:01:31throwing the chassis together yourself, because you'll get caught up in 20 years of red tape
00:01:34trying to get it registered to use on the road, so what you need to do is use the chassis
00:01:38from another car. But there is a problem, because most modern cars don't have a chassis
00:01:43as such, it's all kind of built into the body, so you need to choose from an older car. Specifically,
00:01:48you've got a choice of either a Land Rover, a Lincoln Town car, or this, a TVR Chimera.
00:01:55I bought this one for £5,000, and I was going to remove its body and engine, and then use
00:02:02its chassis as the backbone of our new car. James, meanwhile, was preparing to cannibalise
00:02:09something a bit less sporty.
00:02:12I shall be using the electric motor from this, which just leaves me with the problem of the
00:02:19batteries. Now, the Tesla, that American electric sports car, uses 6,831 batteries, but that
00:02:26seems a bit excessive to me, so to save weight and money, I'm going to use two batteries.
00:02:33Like all great car designers, I'd created a mood room, hung with images from which I could
00:02:42draw inspiration. Big cats, jet fighters, the actor, Peter Bowles. And pretty soon, I was
00:02:52ready to start work.
00:02:55It's a lovely material to work with aluminium, because it bends. Car makers can learn a lot
00:03:05from this simple system I've adopted.
00:03:07Ow, s**t, s**t, s**t, ow.
00:03:10And there is the precious chassis. That is the basis of everything we're doing.
00:03:16Double.
00:03:18In terms of construction, I've taken my lead from shelving. You simply get the upright,
00:03:28which I've got here. There it is. Bolt goes through there. Damn it. How simple is this?
00:03:39One piece, another piece, bolts. Holding them together.
00:03:43With the milk float dismembered, my power system was taking shape.
00:03:48That's 100 quid's worth of batteries, a 20 quid milk float motor, and what's this?
00:03:54Look at that.
00:03:56Is that turning round now?
00:03:59Don't put your finger on it.
00:04:00I'm going to.
00:04:01As long as you two keep the weight of your body and your chassis down, that'll go like a
00:04:05stabbed rat.
00:04:06Are you sure?
00:04:07Well, it'll be a damn sight faster than a gee whiz.
00:04:10While May wired up his batteries and Hammond prepared his chassis.
00:04:16It's free!
00:04:20I retired to the mood room to seek further design inspiration.
00:04:26Okay.
00:04:27We're removing ancient history here.
00:04:29Guys!
00:04:30Is he?
00:04:31Yes?
00:04:32Has anyone ever done a car with a moustache?
00:04:34No.
00:04:35No.
00:04:36No.
00:04:37No.
00:04:42Having finished their jobs, Hammond and May left me alone to complete the body work.
00:04:47Beautiful.
00:04:56Our masterpiece was ready.
00:04:59Well, credit where it's due.
00:05:00It's...
00:05:01I mean...
00:05:02I can't see any of the nail heads.
00:05:03No, I mean, it is...
00:05:04It's all right.
00:05:05You're pleased.
00:05:06Very.
00:05:07Amazed.
00:05:08I have to say, this isn't actually it.
00:05:10Oh.
00:05:11Yeah.
00:05:12There...
00:05:13There you go.
00:05:14No.
00:05:21That is the worst looking car in the whole world.
00:05:24I'd rather look at one of your dingleberries.
00:05:26What is the matter exactly?
00:05:28Everything is straight.
00:05:30Everything is doable on your kitchen table.
00:05:32Jeremy, is that a section from a garage door?
00:05:35Yes.
00:05:36Okay.
00:05:37What's more, I'd fitted a tape player and, rather brilliantly, three abreast seating.
00:05:43Who's going to sit here?
00:05:44You haven't given them any headroom.
00:05:46Well, Hammond can sit in the middle.
00:05:47Oh, God.
00:05:48Careful of my roof.
00:05:49You're bending my roof.
00:05:50I can't...
00:05:51It's bending my spine.
00:05:53You really need to change the roof.
00:05:54That's no good.
00:05:55All right.
00:05:56All right.
00:05:57All right.
00:05:58Back to the drawing board.
00:05:59While Jeremy modified the roof...
00:06:01Out.
00:06:02Okay.
00:06:03Out.
00:06:04Hammond and I started to think about a name for our creation.
00:06:07I hate it when eco-cars are given a really pious name, like...
00:06:11Intelligentsia.
00:06:12So we want to give it a more aggressive, like Mustang.
00:06:14Tiger.
00:06:15Leopard.
00:06:16Panther.
00:06:17Or Vixen.
00:06:18Vixen.
00:06:19Sadly, though, Jeremy had beaten us to it.
00:06:26Jeff.
00:06:29And after some more styling tweaks, Jeff was ready for the road.
00:06:42I feel like the Pope with his head in a box.
00:06:45It worked.
00:06:48Ow.
00:06:49What is that noise?
00:06:51It's the motor.
00:06:53Sounds like they're filming an episode of Bonanza.
00:06:55What an amazing racket.
00:06:57Don't knock.
00:06:58It's working.
00:07:00Open it up, James.
00:07:01Open it up.
00:07:02Yeah, go on.
00:07:03Give me the beans.
00:07:04I have.
00:07:05Is that it?
00:07:06Is that full speed?
00:07:07Yeah.
00:07:08How fast is that?
00:07:10Nearly ten.
00:07:11You've built a car that will only do ten miles an hour?
00:07:14It...
00:07:16Yeah.
00:07:18Actually, that wasn't such a bad thing, on account of a design floor with Jeremy's shiny bonnet.
00:07:24Oh, my head's been cut to the box.
00:07:25That's quite fast.
00:07:26I'll tell you what, though, it works.
00:07:27It does work.
00:07:28I mean, it's going along.
00:07:29We're in an electric car.
00:07:30Which we made.
00:07:31It's fantastic.
00:07:32£6,000.
00:07:33Can you put three people in a gee whiz?
00:07:34No, no.
00:07:35No.
00:07:36In fact, we were so proud of Geoff, we took him for a drive into Oxford.
00:07:47Now, you do realise Oxford loads the motor car.
00:07:50Not this one.
00:07:51But this one will be welcomed.
00:07:53They will think that it's the second coming.
00:07:57Hippie, a hippie.
00:07:58See the happy hippies.
00:08:00Did you see the cyclists smiling at us?
00:08:02No.
00:08:05However, as we neared the city centre, James's power system started to develop some issues.
00:08:11I'm not going to indicate.
00:08:13It seems to slow it down.
00:08:14You're not telling me that the indicators affect the charge?
00:08:17There's something not quite right with the way it's wired.
00:08:19I felt a definite drop in power then as I indicated there.
00:08:22Why did you not fit more than two batteries?
00:08:24Because I wanted to save weight.
00:08:26Stop picking holes in it.
00:08:28To take our minds off the power problems,
00:08:31I found some music.
00:08:33Belinda Carlisle.
00:08:39Sadly, though, James doesn't like Belinda Carlisle.
00:08:44Off.
00:08:45James, James.
00:08:46James, we aren't allowed to drive down this street.
00:08:48Yes, we are.
00:08:49No, we aren't.
00:08:50We are.
00:08:51We aren't.
00:08:52I was right.
00:08:53We weren't.
00:08:56Oh, God.
00:08:57Yeah, well, you're going to have to turn around.
00:08:58You can't.
00:08:59That's a dead end.
00:09:01Hang on.
00:09:02It's packed up.
00:09:03Oh, no.
00:09:04Don't tell me it's died.
00:09:07Sorry.
00:09:08Why is it doing that?
00:09:10Well, as you designed the engine.
00:09:12Sorry.
00:09:13Sorry.
00:09:14Yeah, I was working.
00:09:15James, motorcyclist.
00:09:16Not now.
00:09:17There's a Persia.
00:09:18Sorry, mate.
00:09:19Motorcyclist.
00:09:20Sorry.
00:09:21Sorry.
00:09:22Sorry.
00:09:23It's got a bad connection.
00:09:24It just cuts out.
00:09:25I feel silly now.
00:09:27Oh, there's a policeman.
00:09:29There's a policeman.
00:09:30Every time we reversed, the motor cut out.
00:09:34So we had to go forwards into the buses only zone.
00:09:38Excuse me, Hammond.
00:09:39Sorry.
00:09:40Sorry.
00:09:41Sorry.
00:09:42Sorry.
00:09:43Sorry.
00:09:44Sorry.
00:09:45Sorry.
00:09:46Sorry.
00:09:47Sorry.
00:09:48Look at that.
00:09:49Sorry.
00:09:50Sorry.
00:09:53Having annoyed the people in the center of Oxford, we drove on and ended up annoying the people
00:09:58in the outskirts of Oxford.
00:10:00Have we got anyone behind us?
00:10:02It's hard.
00:10:03Yes.
00:10:04Oh, yes.
00:10:05Yes.
00:10:06Yes, we have.
00:10:07Yes.
00:10:08This is embarrassing.
00:10:09And then it got a bit more embarrassing.
00:10:12James, this isn't.
00:10:13Why are you stopping?
00:10:14Please.
00:10:15Oh, God.
00:10:16James.
00:10:17Why?
00:10:18I've run out of juice.
00:10:21But...
00:10:22Oh.
00:10:23Oh.
00:10:24While James and Richard directed the traffic round Geoff, I went in search of some electricity.
00:10:31Tiny, tiny, tiny bit of left.
00:10:32That'll do.
00:10:33That'll do.
00:10:34You've got room on the left.
00:10:35You're fine.
00:10:36Nobody in.
00:10:37Just go back a little bit.
00:10:38I thought everybody was unemployed.
00:10:39So it's left a bit.
00:10:40A bit more.
00:10:41No, no.
00:10:42Left.
00:10:43Left.
00:10:44That's right.
00:10:45This'll be an old people's home.
00:10:46They won't have electricity.
00:10:47Guys, we're going to have to get the electricity from this side of the road.
00:11:02Nobody is in there.
00:11:03Okay.
00:11:05Sorry, everybody.
00:11:07You are so kind.
00:11:09When you run out of fuel in the future, this will be your life.
00:11:13Undoing spaghetti.
00:11:15We're in.
00:11:16There.
00:11:17That works.
00:11:19Sorry.
00:11:20Sorry.
00:11:21Please.
00:11:22James, how long does it take to charge an electric car?
00:11:25Well, to charge it fully would take a good six or seven hours.
00:11:28But I think in two hours.
00:11:29These are all six or seven hours.
00:11:31My arm's aching already.
00:11:32Those are the facts of battery powered cars.
00:11:35We know that.
00:11:37Still, much to the relief of everyone.
00:11:41Jeff was eventually ready to go.
00:11:44Let's see.
00:11:45Yes.
00:11:46Sadly though, he was just as slow as before.
00:11:50James, you're being overtaken by children.
00:11:53A lot of children coming past.
00:11:56A bicycle coming by.
00:11:57With two people on it.
00:11:58A bicycle coming by.
00:12:00On balance, we thought it best to leave Oxford and get back to the Top Gear Technology Centre.
00:12:07But then James took a wrong turning.
00:12:10Left there.
00:12:11What?
00:12:12With terrible consequences.
00:12:14James, this is the A34.
00:12:19Oh, God.
00:12:20This is a road with a speed limit of 70 miles per hour.
00:12:24A lot of traffic now.
00:12:26Can you drive with the hazards on?
00:12:28Yeah, but it might slow us down a bit.
00:12:30Oh, my God.
00:12:31James, get off the dual carriageway.
00:12:33Right, that sign says motorway six.
00:12:36I don't want to go on the motorway.
00:12:37James, do not.
00:12:38Is there a junction before that?
00:12:40Look at the traffic jam.
00:12:42I can't.
00:12:43It's too embarrassing.
00:12:44Look at the traffic jam.
00:12:45I can't.
00:12:46It's too embarrassing.
00:12:47I've got my head in a plastic box and everyone can see me.
00:12:50Do you know what we've done?
00:12:52We've made something worse than a gee whiz.
00:12:54Don't say that.
00:12:55Well, we have.
00:12:56I disagree.
00:12:57It's slower.
00:12:58Yes.
00:12:59He's being cooked.
00:13:00Yes.
00:13:01It's rubbish.
00:13:03Eventually, we ended up in the countryside, where at least we couldn't get in anyone's
00:13:26way.
00:13:27But unfortunately, the A34 had had a catastrophic effect on our performance.
00:13:32We're hardly moving.
00:13:33I wouldn't mind it going solo.
00:13:34I just wish it wouldn't make that noise.
00:13:35James.
00:13:36Oh, God.
00:13:37What?
00:13:38Please tell me that.
00:13:39You bloody idiot.
00:13:40Why did you think two batteries was the right solution?
00:13:44The Tesla used 6,800.
00:13:45for a reason.
00:13:46Oh, great.
00:13:47We're actually holding people up here.
00:13:48Sorry.
00:13:49Sorry.
00:13:50I can't.
00:13:51I can't.
00:13:52I can't.
00:13:53I can't.
00:13:54I can't.
00:13:55I can't.
00:13:56I can't.
00:13:57I can't.
00:13:58I can't.
00:13:59I can't.
00:14:00I can't.
00:14:01I can't.
00:14:02I can't.
00:14:03I can't.
00:14:04I can't.
00:14:05I can't.
00:14:06I can't.
00:14:07sorry sorry come on jeff come on tell you what james what there's loads of houses around here
00:14:17where we can get some electricity james what seriously why didn't you put more than two
00:14:22batteries in it because i don't want it to weigh too much batteries go flat this is important
00:14:26consumer information stored electricity is like a caged animal you should have used more than two
00:14:32well next time i know and we know we're just in the house tell me that isn't happening tell me that
00:14:38isn't happening i don't want to the lonely walk confirmed our worst fears jeff was dead
00:15:02that's what it is anyway we could have given up at that point but we didn't we went back to the
00:15:16drawing board and later on you'll be able to see the results of our frankly brilliant efforts but for
00:15:21now it's the news it is indeed uh and we start with this as we know formula one has always been the most
00:15:30glamorous sport in the world hasn't it yeah but not anymore not from next year there's four new
00:15:35teams uh joining in okay one of them manor grand prix is best in sheffield how glamorous is that oh yeah
00:15:42he's speaking it's actually between sheffield and rotherham well if we're going to be specific and
00:15:46pedantic it's between sheffield rotherham and workshop in a place called dinnington which i know well
00:15:51and it's exactly like monte carlo apart from in every single detail it's had to shine off it a bit
00:15:58in it i can't wait to see their new car oh no why bother with all that carbon fiber i made mine out
00:16:02of steel stainless stainless steel i'll tell you what if that fernando alonso twats into our car
00:16:08his ferrari will be buggered funny my dad worked in pit and now i've got a job in pit
00:16:16they're replacing toyota and they've sang emo glock who presumably is currently learning why it's
00:16:23important to punch anyone who looks at him funny is everyone from sheffield are you whereabouts you're
00:16:31from sheffield this is honestly because i'm just thinking they was in cosworth engines oh i should
00:16:36say sheffield cause there all right no cause there i'm gonna like have a stroke halfway through the word
00:16:42calls out so you face it falls off cause that your face falls off no no get us come back can we just
00:16:48probably just uh you're from sheffield just practice it just show us how'd you say it cause there
00:16:54i think it's fair to say that that team is probably now top gear's absolute favorite f1 team
00:16:59i want them to win everything so on the podium they're gonna have a big brass band at the end oh
00:17:02abide with me you know i'm not a national anchor well i mean abide with me on a brass band be lovely
00:17:07uh now criminals would you like to get away with your crimes are you capable of running more than
00:17:16a hundred yards well good news because the police are thinking of using these now
00:17:23it's a metubishi electric they say it's helping them crack down on co2
00:17:30i don't want the police to crack down on co2
00:17:33i want them to get my bloody television back because it's been six years since that was nicked
00:17:38and i haven't heard a peep out of them whilst they've been going on about cracking down on
00:17:42seats i'm gonna have to buy another one at this rate what were you stopped for the other day
00:17:47by a policeman there was some motoring misdemeanor he just turned around and said
00:17:51oh good this must mean you found my television
00:17:55i tell you if i was a policemanist and my chief freemason came into the office one morning and said
00:18:00i don't mean chief i mean chief constable he's gonna model that and he said right you've got
00:18:05to do your beta one of those i would drink my own pepper spray now i tell you what this is a
00:18:12slightly interesting one okay i must just do um there was a survey recently okay about the effects
00:18:17that a nice car can have on a male a human male okay what they did was they got 40 young guys and
00:18:25they made them drive up and down the street in a toyota camry and then drive up and down the same
00:18:29street in the same manner in a porsche 911 and then they measured their testosterone after each
00:18:34drive and after driving the porsche it had shot up so it had an actual physiological effect yeah i'm
00:18:40amazed by that i think that makes perfect sense doesn't it because whenever i drive a really nice
00:18:45exciting car i always get like a a nice little fizzing sensation
00:18:49oh no it's not where is this vision it's not actually in my penis but it's but it's sort of just
00:18:57behind it a fizzing sensation just behind your penis yeah so isn't that the pit of your stomach no no no
00:19:05lower down than that sort of right that's your prostate mate you've sat on the gear
00:19:09no has anybody else had a fizzing sensation just behind their penis am i the only person ah thank
00:19:18you sir you have good man or do you just want to be on television but you come here do come here it's
00:19:27just got a lot worse james may a man and a mustache has come on the stage and wishes to meet you so you
00:19:32discuss your fizzing penis that's the end of the year oh god i'd like to commend you on being brave
00:19:44enough especially as you've grown a mustache for charity to come on the stage and admit that you
00:19:50too have been bestowed with this great gift from the gods of a slight fizzing sensation somewhere
00:19:55behind your penis but in front of your prostate when you drive an exciting car what sort of car are you
00:19:59driving when you feel it uh citron ax no seriously what what we'll come back we really must invite
00:20:10you to go back over there thank you i think some of us are just more fortunate you must have had this
00:20:22on a motorcycle no no no i'm just gonna stand as well i don't want to use that seat now
00:20:29now we have to just touch on something don't we before we go because
00:20:48thing is no next next week we're doing this item on which car company has produced the largest number
00:20:56of great cars this is great car yes great cars so any thoughts on which car companies made the biggest
00:21:03number of great cars see aston martin is it i don't think aston has made a single great great car and
00:21:10it's they made some lovely db5 was only great because of james bond it's a bit rubbish but it's
00:21:14exactly because anyone else got any thoughts who said ferrari somebody said ferrari that's a good call
00:21:19but ferrari's a good call but if you think about it they made a lot of rubbish cars as well i mean
00:21:23the three four eight was rubbish the tester also was rubbish mondial was rubbing mondial great 400
00:21:27yeah 40 was that was great what about mainstream manufacturers that those 40 40 i mean that's they
00:21:33did the model t that's kind of an important mustang gt-40 gt-40 this is i mean this i think is an
00:21:40interesting debate that petrol heads can have we genuinely would like to hear what you have to say
00:21:43so do please go on our website which is on the internet and um and then write something on i don't know how
00:21:50you write something on it what you think which car firm you think has produced the largest number
00:21:55of great cars if you write that down on our internet we'll read it
00:22:02now um last year i drove an audi r8 and i thought it was the knees of the b but in a straight line
00:22:08at least it was a little bit slower than a porsche 911 yeah quite a lot slower than a 911 actually
00:22:13it was about that much slower i admit that much makes all the difference um however audi has now
00:22:23released a new faster version this is it and it looks pretty much the same as the original however
00:22:43the standard r8 has a 4.2 liter v8 this has a 5.2 liter lamborghini v10
00:23:02that means 518 brake horsepower enough torque to tenderize an elephant
00:23:09and a top speed of about 200 miles an hour
00:23:150 to 60 is dealt with in 3.7 seconds that's there 80 90 100 110 120 125 in 8 seconds
00:23:29this thing is phenomenal
00:23:33the handling is pretty epic as well
00:23:38as a driver's car this is spectacularly good it's like scarlett johansson's lips or
00:23:56the roof of paddington station
00:24:01absolutely faultless oh god it's good
00:24:14nice car
00:24:15and unlike most supercars it's not even desperately impractical
00:24:27you get a boot which is big enough for three medium-sized goats you get a useful shelf behind the
00:24:34seats and you get room inside to move about and breathe
00:24:37there are a couple of mistakes i admit uh if for instance you have a a can of tangy refreshing
00:24:46drink here in the cup holder and you go to change gear your elbow's going to knock it over and that's
00:24:51annoying and as far as i can work out the trip computer isn't working i don't like to say that
00:24:58obviously because it will have been installed by a german who'll be shot at dawn for his mistake but it
00:25:03it doesn't
00:25:08and then there's the biggest mistake of them all the price
00:25:13it's a hundred thousand pounds and that's just the start if you want ceramic brakes
00:25:19seven thousand pounds flappy paddle gearbox five thousand pounds if you want the boot lined in fake
00:25:25suede one thousand six hundred pounds bucket seats two thousand three hundred and fifty color
00:25:31coordinated seat belts 750 quid if you want these panels here finished in carbon fiber you're mad mad as
00:25:40a mexican's dog they even charge 500 pounds if you want to pick the car up from the factory yourself
00:25:48that's like charging someone 10 pounds extra for a bottle of wine if you tread the grapes yourself
00:25:54i'd tell them to get lost
00:25:59strangely however it's not the money that would stop me buying this car
00:26:05the trouble is is it's a bit too joyless a bit too like scarlett johansson's lips you can
00:26:13never imagine this thing smiling
00:26:18i mean look what happens okay if i hit this button here sport mode on exclamation mark
00:26:24what's it called an exclamation mark for you put the sport on in a super car you mad crazy fool you
00:26:33look at the sat nav okay it can take you to a bank or a bowling alley or a bus station
00:26:38i'm sorry golf course was that historical monument yes i've got a supercar but i'm going to stop off
00:26:46and look at this neolithic thought the r8 v10 then doesn't really do fun it doesn't do pantomime
00:26:57so if i was spending a hundred thousand pounds on a car i'd think very seriously about buying something
00:27:04worse
00:27:20this is the corvette zr1 which is extremely fast
00:27:34this has a supercharged 6.2 liter engine which is a turbo compared to audi's 5.2 liter
00:27:44unsupercharged cod
00:27:49put it in a drag race with the r8 and the results are inevitable
00:27:56i have got 120 more horsepower than the r8
00:28:01and because the corvette is made from plastic it's lighter as well
00:28:09if only america could win its wars so convincingly however there are a few problems
00:28:17i tested one in america last year and um after three days it was starting to fall apart and then on the
00:28:25fourth it refused to start it's also insanely vulgar it's only available with left hand drive
00:28:35the luggage cover looks like a motel shower curtain it's much too wide and in the corners it's a complete
00:28:42that's a madman
00:28:51when i drove this thing in california i loved it
00:28:56but i think it might have been a holiday romance because here on our track it's it's well let's be kind
00:29:04let's say difficult
00:29:16remember i've got more power than a ferrari enzo oh my god come on get a straight line
00:29:25i may have more firepower but trying to keep up with the audi is like trying to win the grand
00:29:32national whilst riding a lion that's made out of teeth and jelly it sort of wobbles about and then
00:29:41if you're not careful it bites your arm off oh no i'm gone
00:29:46the thing is though despite the waywardness and the terrible danger the corvette is more fun
00:29:57it's disintegrating already this is i'm being strangled by my own seatbelt and the ends come off get on
00:30:07in no doubt then the audi is a better car it's better built better to look at better to drive more
00:30:16comfortable easier to park and in the real world faster
00:30:23you'd have to be bonkers to buy the corvette and that is why you should
00:30:37it's that exclamation mark says anything about that car what you want sport mode sport mode
00:30:44sports mode oh yeah i have an apology to make i said in that film that the audi's trip computer
00:30:54was broken now it isn't okay it turned out that i hadn't pressed the reset button properly
00:31:00now we did actually ring audi to confess to what he'd done yeah but it was too late the man
00:31:05responsible had shot himself he had anyway it's now time to put uh both cars uh in the hands of our
00:31:14tame racing driver some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon
00:31:22and that he was turned down for a place on i'm a celebrity because he is one
00:31:27all we know is he's called the steg
00:31:34and they're off a genuinely interesting battle this because the uh corvette is faster in a
00:31:40straight line but it needs an extraordinary talent to get it around corners without crashing
00:31:46look at that and there is the talent
00:31:49oh dear state continues to make each lap into a cockney knees up oh you see that weirdly it's the
00:31:59audi going sideways uh through chicago what will happen in hammerhead let's have a look here yes
00:32:06again it's the four-wheel drive r8 that's out of shape the uh vet in the stigs talented paws just
00:32:12clinging on bit of a wiggle on the way up but that's it right follow through this is where the
00:32:22corvette supercharged v8 can really deliver some shock and awe they are both quick through there
00:32:29it's the inbred lunatic versus a car with no sense of humor and they're pretty much neck and neck just
00:32:35gambon to go both sides through there and let's cross the line and now we have the time
00:32:44the audi first it did it in one minute 21.6 which puts it that's for the audi one six
00:32:53god i mean that's that was sort of a dampish lap as well that's quick okay however corvette did it
00:33:00one minute 20.4 what no the but the thing i would say is i reckon you or i could get the audi round
00:33:07in roughly that time okay but there's no way we could make the corvette go around in that literally
00:33:13i would be five minutes dead five minutes and dead five minutes and dead is what it would be
00:33:18anyway it is now time to put a star in our reasonably priced car now my guest tonight is an actor he has
00:33:25played kenneth williams who's no longer with us he's played uh brian clough who's no longer with us
00:33:31and he's played tony blair who um is still with us ladies and gentlemen michael shane
00:33:46lovely
00:33:46i thought you were going to look like tony blair uh that's it's my day off today it's because it's
00:33:55weird you know when i watched the queen obviously when you were tony blair i remember thinking god
00:34:00they did very well to find an actor who looks so like him but you're much better looking it's not
00:34:06hard is it do people think that you're going to look like it uh in america people thought think
00:34:10that i'm a tony blair look-alike yeah but you're not i don't do work as a tony blair look-alike
00:34:16although my my i do have look-alikes in my family my dad is a jack nicholson look-alike is he he is
00:34:22indeed because i was looking back at your family history and it was all very weird because nobody's
00:34:26done anything conventional since the dawn of human histories yeah because your great grandmother was
00:34:31a she was the first elephant and lion tamer in barnum and bailey circus her name was her name was nanny
00:34:38blower and god bless her she was talented but she wasn't a looker she had a left breast mauled off
00:34:46by a lion and the claw of that lion is on a chain somewhere in our family seriously yeah it's at
00:34:52this point you go and we have that lion for you now i wish i'd known we'd have looked into it and then
00:34:58of course there was your now he was your not grandfather great grandfather he was the one that
00:35:02got drunk a lot oh yeah my great grandfather uh was a bit of a waster in the town in put albert and uh
00:35:08the story goes that he was lying in the gutter one night having been chucked out of the pub
00:35:12and uh the moon appeared through the clouds and god spoke to him through the moon and said you
00:35:17must mend your ways uh save up money and buy the disused tin mine in the mountain and so from that
00:35:22moment on he never touched another drink and he saved up his money everyone thought he was mad because
00:35:26there was not no tin left in the mine they discovered a new vein of tin he became the richest
00:35:30man in put albert and became a street preacher from then on this is fantastic and then so your dad
00:35:36was then a jack nicholson dad was a jack nicholson look-alike not in person look-alike look-alike there is a
00:35:40difference and now you're a genetic freak he's not a talented actor and now you're tony blair
00:35:48and david frost and kenneth williams and brian clough this is honest can i just first of all can
00:35:53i congratulate you just take a moment to congratulate you on frost nixon i just thought that was amazing
00:35:58rocky is what it was it was rocky for interviewers it was it was rocky it was instead of the fighting it
00:36:02was interviewing nixon brilliant film i adored that and now the new film twilight which is one of the
00:36:08what it's new moon isn't it from the twilight series which you did this presumably because
00:36:13you've got a 10 year old daughter yes i have a 10 year old daughter who is obsessed with the books
00:36:19as have i completely besotted and i always say to her what are they about and she says well there's
00:36:24a werewolf and like a and then a vampire and then there's this girl and she's in love with a
00:36:29werewolf but she was and what are you reading it's sort of this and this great love story it seems and
00:36:36uh and and also the you know they sort of tap into something about uh particularly a teenage girl's
00:36:43experience growing up and so you're a i am a vampire so was it peter mandelson this time that you modeled
00:36:49it yes absolutely completely modeled it on peter mandelson um now cars i've obviously looked back
00:36:57through your history and it is quite poor because i have a very glamorous history with cars not really
00:37:02now now your driving test i learned to drive in a datsun sunny and that may have been the reason why
00:37:09my heart wasn't in it and then i bought a red ford orion do you have any sort of was that bj registered
00:37:18around then it would have been yeah they were the worst honestly the worst i think it was the worst
00:37:22car ever made so that's some sunny yeah and order i order ryan so you're not really blowing the cash
00:37:28on bank no i am i'm not one who spends a lot of money on cars up to this point no you said because
00:37:33i'm fascinating because you spend a lot of time living now in los angeles so i would have assumed you'd
00:37:36have had some form of hybrid uh not really i'm not thought about it well you know there's a lot of
00:37:43pressure to get that it's the way forward well there is i'm not going to get a hybrid good man
00:37:48i'm going to get an old jag i want to pretend that i'm in the film of performance driving around
00:37:53l.a oh mick jagger it's a very good idea what sort of old jag i'd like to get a green one is that what
00:37:59you mean good a green one's good that would be fantastic so when you go on american chat shows and
00:38:04they say you got a hybrid you can say no i haven't yet i haven't yet okay so what do you use in england
00:38:11i nip around london on a scooter i once rode one of those across vietnam it tried to kill me
00:38:18fantastic in fact when i first learned when i first got the scooter it was just before i started
00:38:23doing kenneth playing kenneth williams in this film i did fantabulosa and i was desperately trying to
00:38:28lose as much weight as i possibly could to play him so i went on the cabbage soup diet for the last 10
00:38:33days which is great i lost 10 pounds but i did used to lose consciousness as well i was so faint
00:38:39and so i was i was driving around on this uh this scooter around london which was scary enough as it was
00:38:44but i was also constantly farting my stomach was making terrible noises and i was it whilst i used to
00:38:49drive i used to practice the voice so if anyone saw uh an aprilia going past them around the clapham area
00:38:56with a slightly sepia looking visor and a smell coming behind it and a voice going as he's going along that
00:39:04was me did you ever fall off it uh no i never fell off it i kept the stabilizers on obviously
00:39:11anyway obviously you came here i have to say from los angeles this morning i arrived i came from
00:39:18the airport straight here and into the car so you're well where are we 10 hours out you're yeah
00:39:23i have no idea what time i'd well i'll tell you what time it's up at six in the morning it's time
00:39:26you're up um i think there should be a new category which is instead of just w for wet there
00:39:31should be jl for jet lag jet lag and i believe was it damp out there as well it was it was dampish
00:39:37so that's jet lagged and damp and there were people shooting bows and arrows shooting both
00:39:42arrows many many things we have to write down on here jet lag damp bows and arrows and i'm welsh
00:39:49and you're welsh in fact who are the other welsh people on that i want i have i got a chance of
00:39:54being well i don't know alan davis is he actually welsh or does he just have a name as welsh no
00:39:59rob bryden rob bryden where's he tom jones it would be it would be good to beat dame helen mirren
00:40:05wouldn't it tom jones did tom jones is on top of helen mirren not for the first time
00:40:11rob bryden there's rob bryden just below keith allen this is kind of little wales here as
00:40:16that's little wales area this area so this is where you're aiming for i want to be the fastest boy in the
00:40:20village that's a little britain i've just got that there see even jack like that on form here
00:40:29who'd like to see the lap come on let's have a look at this oh dear lord
00:40:35so you think this was a pretty good car though with your car that's the best car i've ever sat in
00:40:41nice smooth gear change it isn't it's really ruined that so here we go coming to the first
00:40:46corner oh i say that's a vigorous turn in there right so we're not going for the smooth approach
00:40:56break yeah no i like the hands on the wheel there that's why that's a lot this really is
00:41:04don't go into fourth go into second michael try that well what'll do no you're supposed to look slow
00:41:12so that you're actually going that's not looking slow that's looking wide again the stick did say
00:41:18when he communicated textbook absolute textbook that's not what the stick said he said clunky
00:41:26clunky but brave is how he described you yes it's not healthy that's not healthy michael
00:41:32getting very well so that's pretty quick oh yes now you go look holy cow that's quick that's very
00:41:42quick now what about gambol hell look at that and across the line that was amazing
00:41:49it was under roger banister's mile i'll be happy under four minutes so you want to be somewhere
00:42:07on the top of the welsh zone well it would have it would be nice if i was you know
00:42:12above helen and i would love it if i was above rob so they're all around the one rob's 151 said but
00:42:18that was wet michael sheen you did it in one minute yes 40
00:42:26three six point three good lord
00:42:36how did that happen that was a brain drop
00:42:41gordon ramsay just committed suicide and sort of mystified
00:42:45that lap was very far you can see it because you were doing essentially a million down the street
00:42:50i heard that tom jones didn't want to come in and it must be something else because i i didn't want
00:42:54to stop i wanted to keep going yeah and i could have i could have beaten jake could have what you
00:42:58help yourself there's still 20 minutes of daylight left ladies and gentlemen michael steen
00:43:06thank you very much
00:43:15now earlier on earlier on we built an electric car called jeff and he was a disaster and i'm not one
00:43:23to apportion blame but it was entirely james's fault why well because jeremy's body was brilliant
00:43:32but not jeremy's actual body was that that's horrible the one on the car my chassis was brilliant
00:43:38and your battery system was terrible well it wasn't well it was and as a result jeff ended up crashed
00:43:45into a wood but we didn't give up we decided to go back to the drawing board and build jeff 2.
00:43:53back at the top gear technology center i fitted narrower wheels which would reduce friction
00:43:59and james mercifully found some more batteries i've also devised a very very clever way of
00:44:07recharging them while we're on the move meanwhile in the mood room jeremy had decided jeff should no
00:44:16longer be called jeff hammerhead hammerhead shark that says a dolphin yes i know but it's like a
00:44:25hammerhead shark it's not really but it's in the sea yeah i'll tell you the other thing we've got to
00:44:30have is the letter i why because if you put a little i not a capital i little i with a dot on it
00:44:37it tells everyone who sees it that it's eco and that's okay it does because eco mentalists are stupid
00:44:45after many days of development a new improved car was finally ready
00:44:50but jeremy you haven't done anything you can't improve on perfection but anyway i have done
00:45:00something look an energy absorbing front end and you can have massive accidents and no damage well
00:45:07because you could run this into a wood at top speed nothing would happen then james unveiled his
00:45:14radical new propulsion system look at this batteries as before but a few more of them for
00:45:22extra power but here's the clever bit they are recharged by that that is a diesel generator
00:45:29that charges the batteries yeah is that a generator just from a shop yeah so we've made a hybrid
00:45:36well no because a hybrid uses a normal engine that drives the wheels a hybrid's a normal car
00:45:41for fools this just charges the battery what it's a diesel electric i got the idea from old railway
00:45:48locomotives so you just run the generator yeah that means that you'll never run out of electricity
00:45:54exactly uses a tiny amount of fuel yeah i mean seriously credit where credit's due james and that's
00:46:01not something you hear often on top gear or ever even that's actually quite a good idea thank you and
00:46:07this will go like stink and it did
00:46:18so james this generator is charging the batteries as we drive along yeah well that's brilliant it's a hybrid
00:46:26we've built a prius
00:46:30you don't think the producers are messing with the subtitles do here no they wouldn't do that
00:46:35but since our amazing eagle eye thrust had cost one thousand pounds less than a gee whiz we decided it
00:46:44was brilliant and that we should put it on sale to the general public however before you can do that
00:46:51it must pass a series of stringent eu tests so we took the eagle thrust to the motor industry's top
00:46:59secret proving ground just off the a5 between atherston and hinkley near fanny drayton
00:47:08when we get out remember be positive be positive
00:47:12everyone's a customer we started with one of the biggies the crash test
00:47:19we've all seen these a car is loaded up with dummies and fired into a concrete block
00:47:25while super slow motion cameras record the impacts
00:47:33i however am so confident about the hammerhead eye eagle thrust that we will be using a different
00:47:39sort of dummy
00:47:43don't worry we're coming as well you got done now can you paint a randall on my face
00:47:48why do crash test dummies have these things it's for the uh slow motion camera that records the
00:47:55impact it gives you a datum point i didn't think it was fashion amongst crash test dummies
00:48:01are you sure about your new bumper design yeah thank you very much
00:48:04we were a bit frightened when we saw the concrete crash block because we had to crash into it at 30
00:48:18miles an hour but then jeremy had a brain wave remember what i told you it's a very very good plan this
00:48:27okay now let's see the slow motion crash footage
00:48:37we're going to crash
00:48:47oh my nose
00:48:57oh my chest
00:49:04do you think we fooled them yeah yeah okay we're alive we're alive
00:49:09that was it's not even oh man that was
00:49:14i think this is very convincing
00:49:18okay it is now time to watch that crash at the speed it actually happened
00:49:23we're going to crash oh my nose oh my chest
00:49:34and there we are a superb result in the crash test so let's move on shall we and do
00:49:41the pendulum test this is designed to measure how a car will stand up to being side swiped by a bus
00:49:49or a truck
00:49:55frankly it was hard to see how we could possibly pass this but then james came up with a plan
00:50:01right camera yeah yeah a plan that would fall even the most astute eu bureaucrat
00:50:08so now our car is going to face the fearsome pendulum test
00:50:22wow wow indeed another pass and happy that our car was completely safe we lined it up for a drag race
00:50:41we would be up against a toyota prius
00:50:47chris hoy's next door neighbor hannah the fastest girl in our office
00:50:55and our main rival the gee whiz this was the quietest start line in drag racing history
00:51:03until hammond's start of the generator okay this is it the future is here
00:51:19did you jump the start no i am so in the lead straight away
00:51:25oh the toyota's gone where's the gee whiz
00:51:32oh i'm all over it come on
00:51:38this is brilliant quick i'm gonna win i'm gonna win
00:51:41yes yes
00:51:44he beat the gee whiz he beat the gee whiz
00:51:54and as ever hammond was gracious in victory
00:52:00oh yeah yeah what do you think of that then
00:52:02with your stupid little plastic gerbil
00:52:04next we had to drive on the fearsome belgian power bay in a test designed to measure both comfort
00:52:13and build quality
00:52:21the chassis is smashing into the ground it's his generator weighs too much for my suspension
00:52:27it's all collected in my poke box
00:52:44but we're still going
00:52:47yeah we're hammering now
00:52:49and we've been a bit gassed the torture wasn't over so we reattached the stovepipe and went to see how
00:53:17how the eagle eye thrust would perform in the fearsome steep hill test
00:53:23okay we're off
00:53:29oh
00:53:38oh i think we've passed this yeah well done everybody that's good
00:53:49yeah right nice
00:53:50yeah
00:53:50i meant the gee whiz wouldn't get up here anyway
00:53:52i very wouldn't
00:53:52no
00:53:53in the interests of fairness we decided to see how the gee whiz would get on
00:53:59using of course an independent test driver
00:54:01is he good this guy he's independent that's the important thing
00:54:12it's a thousand pounds more than our car this
00:54:14hard to believe will it go a thousand feet higher up this hill let's see
00:54:18oh
00:54:19it's struggling now that's a failure yeah look there that's a failure
00:54:25the ham head eagle eye was sailing through every test the eu could throw at it
00:54:34but then it was time to head to the wind tunnel where we could measure the aerodynamic efficiency
00:54:39of that body
00:54:41where's hammond well call him
00:54:45right then lads we're gonna get on with this
00:54:47let's get going that works what what nothing nothing well come on then how does it work
00:54:52i don't know how hard can it be ready
00:54:58yes look at this there we go 12 here we go look at the speed
00:55:0628 miles an hour i'm gonna take this baby
00:55:15when the bodywork ripples like that it does look beautiful it looks like a fish
00:55:19a really square fish with wooden ears
00:55:25it's also moving it's moving did you put the handbrake on
00:55:31no that's stop it and it'll go in the fans no make it stop now stop stop it james stop it
00:55:39how do you stop the bloody phone
00:55:41no
00:55:45despite the slight issue with the fans we decided that our car had passed so we moved on to what
00:55:51would be the final hurdle the eye ham would be driven round the clock flat out on the proving
00:55:57grounds test track to measure its range obviously in these conditions it's damp there's been a drizzle in
00:56:05the air the concentration required to do this is just immense mr martin we couldn't do that no we
00:56:12couldn't but we know a man who can he's not the stig but he is the stigs vegetarian cousin
00:56:19what's he called his name is janet stig porter yeah right fire up that generator
00:56:43go
00:56:46look at the speed
00:56:49the speed
00:56:53james how long realistically are you expecting that to keep going well i've topped up the jenny tank so
00:57:00that's eight hours on the generator yeah and that fully charges the batteries as well so you get
00:57:05another hour out of those just the batteries so realistically you're looking for nine hours
00:57:10of running yeah
00:57:16what's happened there is well the stigs died yeah and that's because the stovepipe came off now if
00:57:34we reattach that stovepipe i think i'm right in saying am i not gentlemen that the thrust eye eagle
00:57:43hammerhead is ready for its road test yes it's ready obviously we couldn't do that because we'd be
00:57:51biased so we decided to lend it to britain's oldest motoring magazine for an independent review
00:57:56they test all the latest cars and innovations and to make sure they didn't realize who were the brains
00:58:04behind the eagle head eye hammer we had it dropped off by an anonymous driver
00:58:09hello how can i help you
00:58:20all we could do now was wait for their verdict
00:58:26we have been sent advanced copies of the magazine that has reviewed our car here it is
00:58:48oh we're on the cover we have we have right where is it where is it where is it where is it there's a eagle
00:58:57right here we go
00:58:59um it says in the ride and handling section where they deal with things like the chassis that to all
00:59:18intents and purposes the hammerhead eagle eye thrust has no ride or handling as such instead
00:59:23it nurtures around almost uncontrollably oh god almighty no it gets worse listen to this okay
00:59:31they say that in the highway code they say the stopping distance from 70 miles an hour is 215 feet
00:59:36that our car stopping from 30 miles an hour took 506 549 feet well who's really going to do that
00:59:43in the real world the styling is unlikely to win fans amongst those of us blessed with the gift of sight
00:59:50bastards what do people who review cars actually know exactly i mean the car turns up no let's think
00:59:58about it it turns up it's delivered yeah it's free they haven't had to invest any money or time or
01:00:03anything they just drive it around for a bit and then they car reviewers write rubbish everybody can
01:00:07criticize try actually making something and then reading things like try to regain front end grip by
01:00:13braking and the fronts will simply knock at which point you will crash that could hurt sales
01:00:21this is just unbelievable i can see why that audi engineer i criticized earlier committed suicide yes
01:00:29i want to commit suicide reading this it's just ofcom won't allow it
01:00:35and on that bombshell it's time to end well good night
01:00:49and they'll be back next sunday night at nine tonight on bbc hd we're taking in the final
01:00:55chapter of garrow's law that's next and on bbc 2 excellent comedy with miranda
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