- 2 months ago
📺 Watch full Episode 6 of Top Gear Season 1!
In this episode, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and Jason Dawe take on some of the most exciting car reviews and outrageous challenges from the early 2000s.
🚗 Highlights include:
Review of the Mazda 6, one of the most affordable family sedans of the year.
Clarkson tests the Renault Vel Satis, a luxurious French oddball that challenges traditional car design.
Hammond puts the Noble M12 GTO through its paces—a British supercar with mind-blowing performance.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Terry Wogan joins the show for a lap around the Top Gear track.
Top Gear Season 1 Episode 6 full episode, Jeremy Clarkson car reviews, Mazda 6 review Top Gear, Noble M12 GTO test, Vel Satis Top Gear, Richard Hammond 2002, full Top Gear episodes free
In this episode, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and Jason Dawe take on some of the most exciting car reviews and outrageous challenges from the early 2000s.
🚗 Highlights include:
Review of the Mazda 6, one of the most affordable family sedans of the year.
Clarkson tests the Renault Vel Satis, a luxurious French oddball that challenges traditional car design.
Hammond puts the Noble M12 GTO through its paces—a British supercar with mind-blowing performance.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Terry Wogan joins the show for a lap around the Top Gear track.
Top Gear Season 1 Episode 6 full episode, Jeremy Clarkson car reviews, Mazda 6 review Top Gear, Noble M12 GTO test, Vel Satis Top Gear, Richard Hammond 2002, full Top Gear episodes free
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🚗
MotorTranscript
00:00In tonight's top gear, evidence that the French have gone mad, evidence that the Germans have gone mad, and as an oasis of sanity, the grannies are back.
00:16But first, look at our set. We've got cushions, we've got flowers, we've got chocolates, I've got some breath freshener. And that's because the star we have tonight in our reasonably priced car may look like a boy, but he is in fact called Tara.
00:36And that, I suppose, makes him a girl.
00:40But this is still a car programme. So are the cars. The Honda NSX. Not a spectacular success story. It may well have been developed by Ayrton Senna, but last year they sold eight.
00:51So they've given it a facelift, well a new set of headlamps anyway, and produced this Type R version, which is lighter and stiffer.
00:57And they're currently trying to decide whether or not they should sell it in Britain. So they rang us up and they said,
01:03You're Stig. If we ship one of these over from Japan, could he take it out on your track and do a rap in it?
01:11He said no. Prefers easy listening.
01:14Oh, a lap. Oh, right, a lap. Yes. Happy to oblige.
01:19I doubt very much it'll break the record set by the Westfield. One minute, 23 seconds. It may be light, but it's not that light.
01:29And the engine may have clever valves, but it's still only a 3.2-litre V6. And, of course, look at that weather. That's atrocious.
01:37That's very sideways. Well, he's nearly off the track there. The only way this car really stands a chance is if its chassis is some kind of wonder thing.
01:55Oh, and look at that. It's a nice piece of driving, though, Stig.
01:59No Stig.
02:03The old NSX was very good most of the time, but at the limit, it was as forgiving as that guard who put Alec Guinness in a box.
02:10What's this one like?
02:19123 to be. Sideways. And it's 1.33.
02:24That is fantastic. 1.33. That makes it two seconds faster than a Ferrari 575 and three seconds faster than the Aston Martin Vanquish. That's fabulous.
02:33And bear in mind, you know, the dry track and everything. Take four seconds off for a dry track. That's a quick run.
02:38I mean, that was a very wet track, and the Stig really was trying.
02:44Oh, my word.
02:45Oh, he was a bit close to those tyres.
02:49That's nearly as bad as the Aston Martin Vanquish crash, you know.
02:52One of these days, he's going to kill himself. We're going to need a new Stig.
02:55A replacement Stig.
02:56Yeah.
02:57Nevertheless, crash aside, it is a very, very fast car. There's the time to prove it.
03:00So on the strength of that, I think they should bring it into this country.
03:03Sell it in Britain.
03:04Yeah.
03:05Actually, that's not what we're talking about tonight.
03:06We don't care how fast cars go tonight. We don't care what they look like.
03:09What we care is whether they're cool or not.
03:12That's where to explain it. Think of it like this. It's a bit like what not to wear.
03:15And you are Trini, and I am Susanna.
03:18Takes some imagining that.
03:20Why are you laughing? I am exactly like Susanna Constantine.
03:24People are always mistaking me for her in the streets.
03:27Embarrassing.
03:28The thing is, I don't think Trini and Susanna would much care for the NSX.
03:31It's very, very clever, but it's like one of those expensive amplifiers you buy for your hi-fi.
03:36Clever, but a bit nerdy.
03:38Now this, this is much more a Trini and Susanna car.
03:42It's the new Renault Velsatis.
03:45A completely weird-looking thing. No getting away from that.
03:48Especially round at the back.
03:50But beneath the, I have to say, quite cool exterior, it's a five-seater rival for the BMW 5 Series.
03:59Prices start around £20,000 for the two-litre version.
04:03It's a car for businessmen.
04:06So I thought it would be a good idea to take it to the epicentre of the executive hotel
04:11in the crease-free business lifestyle trouser.
04:15Swindon.
04:22Whatever the businessman wants from his car while he's driving down the motorway,
04:26he's going to find it in the Velsatis.
04:28It's very quiet, very comfortable, very solid.
04:31With all this wood everywhere, it's like driving along in Arfanigas.
04:40There's power, too. In the outside lane, it'll dance with the best of them.
04:44This version, with the 3.5-litre V6, will do 147 miles an hour.
04:53And here we are. Turn off 15.
04:56The gateway to Swindon.
04:58And, oh, dear. On normal roads, the soft ride means everything starts to fall apart.
05:07Hmm. A few miles of this and I'd be fast asleep.
05:12Except I wouldn't be, because every time it runs over a pothole or a cat's eye
05:20or a move in the road of some kind, there's an almighty crash and a shudder.
05:26And you wake up.
05:28It's very annoying.
05:30It's capable of going fast in the same way that Queen Victoria was capable of running.
05:40It just doesn't seem to like it very much.
05:44So, if you're late for a business meeting, you're better off using a pogo stick.
05:49Or going on your hands and knees.
05:52The Velsatis is like an avocado.
05:54Funny skin and mostly soft, but with a surprising rock-hard stone in the middle.
06:02As a car, then, it isn't very good.
06:04But will the styling compensate for that here at a safari park for the men in suits?
06:10A Swindon business park.
06:17I haven't had a chance to explore yet, but I know exactly what's going to be here
06:22because it'll be the same as every other business park.
06:25There'll be a lot of smoked glass.
06:27All the trees will be four feet high because they're the same age as the buildings.
06:31The plants, well, they exist only in business parks.
06:34You won't find them in any textbook.
06:37There'll be a puddle masquerading as a lake.
06:40There'll be a sort of central structure in the middle,
06:43a focal point to give a sense of community.
06:45Erm, what else?
06:48Speed bumps.
06:49Hundreds.
06:50Hundreds and hundreds of speed bumps.
06:53They'll be everywhere.
06:57This car is completely stumped by speed bumps.
07:00It has a truly hopeless ride.
07:03But that is not its biggest problem.
07:06All this is.
07:07This is what the businessman wants.
07:10Conformity.
07:11A water fountain.
07:12A normal secretary called Janet.
07:14And a normal desk.
07:16He likes to blend.
07:17How many businessmen have you ever seen in a lime green suit?
07:25That means he wants a normal car with a boot and a bonnet and a roof in between,
07:29not something that appears to have come from the mind of Gerry Anderson.
07:43It's all very well matching the indentation in the fuel filler cap
07:48to the indentations in the bumper.
07:50And having a credit card instead of a key.
07:53And I'm sure people in trendy bono glasses will appreciate the zigzaggy rear end
07:58and the unusual nose.
08:01Renault, however, should know that British businessmen don't like wacky and radical.
08:06This is Renault's old store centre in Swindon.
08:09Amazing, isn't it?
08:11Amazing and empty.
08:13Today, no-one wants it.
08:19You know what?
08:20Go on.
08:21I'm not a businessman and I love the looks of this car.
08:25So would you buy one?
08:26No, because it's a rubbish car.
08:28But, actually, I know the best way to describe it.
08:31You know Indian food, okay?
08:33Not the stuff you get in Indian restaurants in England.
08:35I'm talking about Indian food, okay?
08:37It's not very good quality meat.
08:38So that's why it has that very powerful sauce on it.
08:41And that's what this is.
08:43Poor quality meat, very powerful sauce on the top.
08:46It's a sort of Renault Jalfresi.
08:49Crazy.
08:50And the thing is, this isn't just a one-off Ron Davis moment of madness, either.
08:55It's across the range because this is the new Megane.
08:58And from the front, yeah, it looks pretty conventional.
09:00It's pretty conventional under the bonnet.
09:02You can have a 1.4, 1.6 or 2-litre petrol engine or a 1.9-litre diesel.
09:06Prices are conventional too, starting from 10 and a half up to 15 and a half thousand pounds.
09:11I have driven it.
09:12I'd love to be able to say it was entirely conventional to drive.
09:15But, frankly, it struggles to get there.
09:17It is a bit poor.
09:18But it has just been voted International Car of the Year.
09:21And I can only imagine that it did that because the judges forgot to look at the back.
09:25They've gone completely berserk.
09:27This is a Renault double file.
09:30If you want berserk, then you want to look at this, though.
09:33This is the Renault Avantine.
09:35Now, this is meant to be a coupe.
09:37Look, there's no pillars.
09:38But they've built it on the platform of an MPV.
09:41I think it's absolutely fantastic.
09:45You're joking.
09:46I adore this car.
09:47No.
09:48I actually was talking to the Renault design boss the other day.
09:51I said, you know, I'm actually thinking of buying one.
09:53And he was like, buying one?
09:55Um, right.
09:56And he said, well, if you are, do get in touch and we'll see if we can berserk.
09:59And we seriously did.
10:00Well, some of my sources said that actually on the early cars, the pre-production models,
10:03they had a problem with the strengths in here because obviously there's no B pillar.
10:06And the cars were actually kind of flexing in the middle.
10:08I just don't care.
10:09You know, for £24,000, if you want a four-seater car, bit of style, you just can't beat this.
10:14The only thing I would say, don't go for the red or the blue, okay?
10:16It's too boring.
10:17Go for the metallic kind of mushy pea green with the silver ruby.
10:21I'm going to go for the red or the blue, okay?
10:24Go for the metallic kind of mushy pea green with the silver ruby.
10:29Mwah!
10:30You're weird.
10:31A few weeks ago, we set out to prove that older people can drive well.
10:37So we got together a group of grannies.
10:39And here are a few of them now.
10:40And we got them to do this.
10:42Harder.
10:43Harder.
10:44That's good.
10:45Keep it there.
10:46Keep it there.
10:47Keep it there.
10:48And they were all so good, we thought we'd try something a little bit trickier.
10:54We're back today with Russ Swift and the grannies, and today we're going to teach them to do handbrake
11:01parking.
11:02If you don't know what handbrake parking is, watch this.
11:05What do you reckon, girls?
11:06Are you going to do it?
11:07Yes.
11:08Why not?
11:09Let's do it.
11:10Simple.
11:11They clearly haven't got a clue what they're about to try.
11:17Russ, you're the king of parallel parking.
11:23So you make it look very easy, but actually there's quite a lot to it.
11:26So what are we going to be teaching the grannies?
11:27I'm going to get the girls to come from this direction, then turn in between this gap here,
11:31pull on the handbrake, and then slide the car sideways in between the two cars.
11:35So they're actually going to turn the whole car around?
11:37It's going to spin the car through 180 degrees.
11:39And it's all on the handbrake?
11:40On the handbrake, yeah.
11:41So what's the hardest part of this?
11:42There's lots of aspects to it.
11:43You've got to get the speed right.
11:44If you go too fast, you'll end up sliding backwards into the vehicle behind.
11:47If you don't get enough speed up, you won't get enough rotation to get through 180 degrees.
11:51And then it's just a matter of putting your handbrake on at the right time to end up in the space.
11:55He's going quite fast.
11:56He's just going to go off.
11:57He is.
11:58He is.
11:59He is.
12:00Oh!
12:01Oh!
12:02Oh!
12:03Oh, no!
12:04Oh!
12:05Oh, no!
12:06Oh!
12:07Oh!
12:08I can't wait to find out how you all got on.
12:10But we're going to come back later and find out, all right?
12:12I've got to do the news.
12:13All right, see you later.
12:14Bye.
12:15Indeed.
12:16Let's do some news.
12:18And first up this week, Nissan, apparently, are coming back to motorsport.
12:22Back?
12:23Back to...
12:24I didn't know they'd ever been in.
12:25Have Nissan ever been in motorsport?
12:26Yeah.
12:27Yeah.
12:28What do you mean?
12:29Le Monde.
12:30Le Monde.
12:31Where's that?
12:32Le Monde.
12:33Le Monde.
12:34Did they win?
12:35You don't know.
12:36Anyway, they're coming back not to Le Monde.
12:37They are, in fact, taking part in the Dakar rally using a pickup truck.
12:54I've got a picture of it here.
12:56But we're not particularly interested in the car.
12:58What we are interested in are the people who will be driving it.
13:01They're all completely gay looking.
13:09Look at their arms and their pose and everything.
13:11Their outfits.
13:12Do they know what the Dakar rally is like?
13:15It's very rough out there and sandy and gritty and it ruins your skin.
13:18It's awful.
13:19A lot of spare tires on the back, hand cream and facial scrub.
13:22He's not going to be looking like that when he gets back.
13:24That's for sure.
13:25Anyway, we wish you all the very best, duckies.
13:28Right.
13:29Talking about cars for girls.
13:31MX5.
13:32Now I quite like these, actually.
13:33They've been around for a lot of time.
13:34But they've just brought out a limited edition.
13:36It's 16,995.
13:38How much is the normal one?
13:391.8.
13:4015 and a half.
13:41So it's about £1,500 more.
13:42So it's basically £1,500, yeah?
13:43Yeah.
13:44And what do you get for your £1,500?
13:45A few bits and pieces.
13:47What have you got?
13:48You've got special leather seats.
13:49Well, they're worth about £60.
13:51OK.
13:52A Nardi two-tone steering wheel.
13:5465.
13:55Leather brake handbrake lever.
13:5767.50.
13:58Two-tone gear knob.
14:0068.
14:01And a Trilogy badge scuff plate.
14:0468.20.
14:05Oh, and some chrome air vents.
14:07Oh, right.
14:08Well, let's make it a nice round £70.
14:10And you get a solid silver keyring with three little chips of diamond, quarter carat of diamond.
14:16How much are they worth?
14:17Well, probably about £70 scrap, aren't they?
14:19So ask, what, a couple of hundred quid for the key fob?
14:21Couple of hundred quid.
14:22So £270 and they're charging an extra?
14:24£1,500.
14:25Probably best avoid that one, then.
14:27Yeah, yeah.
14:28Not good value.
14:30Have you seen the film Fast and Furious?
14:32Yes, it is the worst film ever made by a human being.
14:35What do you mean, no?
14:37He turns out in a hat.
14:39You like Fast and Furious in that hat.
14:42OK, my case rests.
14:44Fast and Furious was made for people in hats like that.
14:48Yeah.
14:49It really was.
14:50It was shocking.
14:51I'll tell you what it was.
14:52It was basically a group of people in hats like that, driving around in ludicrous, improbable,
14:57very fast American cars.
14:59Well, they're making another.
15:01Hoorah!
15:02But they've got it sussed, they've got it sorted.
15:03They obviously looked around and thought, hmm, well, the cars we used in the last one must
15:06not have been very good because the film was rubbish, we'll sort this out, make it better.
15:09They looked around, well, Bond's got an Aston Martin, hasn't he?
15:12There's Jags in that film.
15:13They must have worked their way down a fairly lengthy list of manufacturers because they've
15:18ended up with this Hyundai Elantra.
15:21Oh, my God.
15:22Look at that.
15:24See how the wheels don't fit.
15:26No, that's the car they're using.
15:28That's going to rescue Fast and Furious.
15:30That's going to save it.
15:31And you called it a, what did you, Hyundai.
15:34You know, I was in America a couple of years ago filming at this tech place in Texas, which
15:39is the biggest car dealership in the world.
15:41The frontage is a mile long.
15:43And I said to the guy who owned it, what do you sell here?
15:46And he went, we sell a lot.
15:47And he mispronounced every single argument.
15:50Hyundai, Mitsubishi, Toyota, Nissan, Jaguar, BMW.
15:59Every single one of them was wrong.
16:01And you call it a Hyundai.
16:02I prefer Hyundai.
16:03Hyundai.
16:04Anyway, there you go.
16:05Fast and Furious 2 starring a Hyundai.
16:08I'd watch it.
16:09Great.
16:10Renault Velsatis.
16:12Oh, yes.
16:13We saw it earlier on and we decided it's a stylish car, didn't we?
16:17Okay.
16:18Well, it's now been voted tow car of the year.
16:20Eh?
16:21Oh, it gets better, this.
16:24But this is the best thing, right?
16:27You say, no, I'm going to buy a Renault because I like the style.
16:30It's the only reason for buying that car is because it's stylish.
16:32And you go and whack a double-axle buccaneer on the back of it.
16:36Why?
16:37Your street cred is gone.
16:38But the best thing I love about this is why it's the best tow car.
16:41And they compared it to a Range Rover V8, a Mercedes-Benz ML 500, and, well, the Nissan
16:50Terrano 3.
16:51That's another four-wheel drive thing.
16:52And they say that's better.
16:53So I had a look to see why the tow car of the year jury's done it.
16:56And they say it's because, and I'm quoting, it's got automatic headlamps, wipers, and an
17:01F1-style integrated fuel filler cap.
17:04Right.
17:05Big news from BMW because they've launched a new two-seater roadster to replace the Z3.
17:10They got in touch and said, would you like to drive it?
17:12And I said, well, no, not if it's anything like the Z3, because, well, that was a bit
17:16girly, really.
17:17Look.
17:18Well, they said, what if we took you to Portugal, put you up in a posh hotel, and filled you
17:22full of expensive food?
17:23Then would you drive it?
17:25Yeah, go on then.
17:40The problem with the Z3 was that, well, it looked as though it had everything it needed
17:45to make up a sports car, that long bonnet and two seats right over the rear wheels.
17:50It's just that when you got in it, it didn't quite deliver.
17:53For a start, you were perched on top, sitting too high in it rather than slung low down in
17:58it.
17:59And then you got rough with it, which you've got to.
18:01It's a sports car.
18:02It came over all wobbly.
18:04So, BMW really are chasing the macho vote with the Z4.
18:09It's bigger, bolder, and much more substantial.
18:13An angry-looking collection of angles, curves, and intersecting lines.
18:21From some views, it kind of resembles a rhino.
18:25Or is that just me?
18:33Now, note something.
18:34It is the Z4, not the new Z3.
18:37Well, they don't replace the BMW 3 Series with the BMW 4 Series, do they?
18:42Clearly, BMW wanted to start all over again with a completely new car.
18:46So, clearly, there was something wrong with the old one.
18:51One thing it did do very, very well was sell.
18:54But then, if we're honest, you could stick a BMW badge on a dead cat, and people would
19:00still buy it.
19:01People are already buying the Z4 now, without ever seeing it.
19:0530 grand, and they've never even tried it on.
19:11You did get that, didn't you?
19:1230 grand.
19:13At least 30 grand.
19:14That's a big price hike.
19:16There are two engines available.
19:17Both straight sixes, a two and a half litre or a three litre.
19:25You can have a five-speed or a six-speed manual.
19:26And this six-speed manual box, it's a proper mechanical process, changing gear.
19:30And it sounds great.
19:31And it sounds great.
19:32There's something about the yammer.
19:33There's something about the yowl of a straight six.
19:34And it sounds great.
19:35There's something about the yowl of a straight six.
19:36It stirs the blood.
19:37There's something about the yowl of a straight six.
19:43It stirs the blood.
19:44There's something about the yowl of a straight six.
19:50The new image, and more importantly, price tag, pitched the Z4 into an entirely different
20:19market.
20:20Suddenly, it's not enough just to be a bit of fluffy fun.
20:24It's going to be on a list that includes the Audi TT Roadster and the Porsche Boxster.
20:29Yikes.
20:30It just has plenty of grip.
20:46Really, an awful lot of grip.
20:53Almost tumour.
20:58I'm not even taxing the traction control.
21:00That's just pure grip.
21:02I'm going to get scared before this thing stops gripping.
21:07I'll keep trying.
21:09I really like Roadsters.
21:23I even like the name Roadster.
21:25It's got a kind of devil-may-care flamboyance to it.
21:28And it says a lot about the car because you can't measure Roadsters on paper against one
21:33another.
21:34You can't decide this is better than that because the figures say so.
21:37A Roadster is about the whole experience.
21:39It's about the look, the sound, the feel of it.
21:54You know, I think they've cracked it.
22:00It's not as quick as a Porsche Boxster.
22:03Fact.
22:04But so, that doesn't rule it out.
22:05And anyway, you'd expect this to be good.
22:07This is a Z4, not a Z3.
22:11This is one louder.
22:19Right.
22:20This is the cool board, which is something I've just thought of.
22:24Okay?
22:25Perfectly simple.
22:26We've divided a range of cars into four categories.
22:28Seriously uncool, that would be the Chrysler PT Cruiser and the Volkswagen Beetle.
22:33Uncool, various stuff, lots of Vauxhels and Fords and so on.
22:37Cool?
22:38Well, I mean the Range Rover, obviously, and the Citroen C3.
22:41And then Sub-Zero.
22:42That's absolutely freezing.
22:44And we've got the vanquish in that category.
22:46Now this has got nothing at all to do with what the car looks like or how it drives.
22:52It's only to do with how cool it is.
22:54And this Jeep Wrangler is a classic case in point.
22:58Okay?
22:59I've got to be a bit careful here because it belongs to James over there,
23:02who's one of our camera operators.
23:04Now, I'm a sorry mate, it's hideous.
23:07It's a horrible car to drive and you've made it worse by jacking it up.
23:13And you can stop laughing because you've got a Porsche Boxster.
23:17Anyway, glad you're here.
23:19This is a good game because it really works and some of them really aren't that obvious like that thing.
23:24For instance, the Hyundai Coupe.
23:26That's a really good car, but it's a Hyundai.
23:28It's uncool.
23:29And we've got...
23:30Oh God, there's a Honda Civic Type R.
23:32Fantastic car to drive.
23:33It's uncool, you can't deny it.
23:35Audi A2.
23:36Dreadful, dreadful car.
23:38It wobbles when you turn the windscreen wiper on.
23:41It's a little rocks from some...
23:43Horrible, but somehow quite cool.
23:46Can I just pull up your boyish enthusiasm here though, Jeremy, for this idea of what you've just thought up.
23:51But it was really nice of you to consult nobody at all.
23:54He just merely sticks pictures on and makes his own...
23:56I'm right, that's the important thing.
23:58Yeah, well there's a couple of things here.
23:59I noticed, under uncool, that's a Ferrari 360, Jeremy.
24:04That's a big Fiat.
24:05It's a Ferrari, it's cool.
24:06Back me up.
24:07Is that not a cool car?
24:09If you think it's...
24:10Hands up if you think it's uncool.
24:12Ah, you see.
24:13Now hands up if you think it's cool.
24:15Aye, thank you.
24:16The Z3.
24:17Yes.
24:18Okay, we all agree...
24:19Uncool.
24:20Really uncool.
24:21Very uncool.
24:22No denying that.
24:23But you say, the new Z4, we have to put it down there actually, because all BMWs are uncool.
24:28X5 in particular...
24:29Ooh, it's very uncool!
24:31Particularly when they've got drug dealer wheels like this one.
24:35Really, really uncool man in pink shirt who has one.
24:39Range Rover on the other hand, fantastic.
24:41Very cool.
24:42You bought the wrong one.
24:43Sorry.
24:44Um, but you say anyway, the Z4...
24:47That's a cool car.
24:48It's more muscular, it's got presence, you could go anywhere in that, it's a cool car.
24:51Right, fair enough.
24:52First BMW since about 1976 that makes it into the cool category.
24:56Now this is a case in point, Fiat Multiplers.
24:58That's a really good one, because...
24:59Well, it's ugly, hang on!
25:00It's ugly, yes, but...
25:03It's cool.
25:04It's cool.
25:05It's definitely cool.
25:06It's cool.
25:07It's cool, it's going in the cool bit.
25:11I'm with you on that one, I'm with you on that.
25:14Lexus.
25:15I'm not taking any truck on that, I'm right, again.
25:18Lexus IS200, okay?
25:21Was a cool car, Alan Partridge has got one.
25:24Not cool anymore.
25:25Uncool.
25:26Sorry, Lexus.
25:27He's wrecked it.
25:28I don't want that stick on there.
25:29There we are, on there.
25:30Now, this one...
25:31So uncool, look.
25:32We're going to have to drop it off.
25:33Why don't it stick in there?
25:35Yes, it's seriously uncool.
25:36Oh, yes, it's seriously uncool.
25:37It's found its home.
25:38Audi TT.
25:39Well, it was.
25:41Too many...
25:42Precisely.
25:43Yeah.
25:44That's why, excuse me, the Volkswagen Beetles down here got launched.
25:49We then had to wait a year for it to arrive.
25:51If you're going to make a car a fashion statement, which they have, get it out now.
25:55And the same thing with this.
25:57It started here.
25:58And it's moved along.
26:00And we think that right now, it's here.
26:03And if you want one, you've got 20 minutes, okay?
26:07Because in 20 minutes, it's going to be here.
26:12Okay?
26:13And then finally, the Renault Avantime.
26:16Oh, my God.
26:17If you're going to start going on about that, you're not going to...
26:19Jeremy.
26:20That is ridiculous.
26:22Sub-zero.
26:23Sub-zero.
26:25Beyond the Mini, the Land Rover Defender, and even the Vanquish.
26:28That's the coolest car money can buy.
26:30Don't argue.
26:32We're back with our grannies, and do you remember Sadie?
26:35She was the star of our doughnut challenge.
26:38Wow.
26:39Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
26:43Good girl, good girl, brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
26:46That was really good, Sadie.
26:48But could she do a handbrake park?
26:50Off you go now.
26:52Up to about 4,000 refs.
26:54Look up.
26:55Here it comes.
26:56Here it comes.
26:57Here's Sadie.
26:58Come on, Sadie.
26:59Andrake.
27:00Oh!
27:01Yay!
27:02Next up, it was Joy.
27:03Right.
27:04Now I think it's going to be fun.
27:05She's going to run us down.
27:06Put your hand on the handbrake ready, and don't do anything till I tell you.
27:08He's very, very patient.
27:09He is, absolutely.
27:10He's so patient.
27:11Wow.
27:12Can I get that?
27:13Stop!
27:14Stop!
27:15Stop!
27:16Oh dear, was this a granny challenge too far?
27:19Well, Anne was up next.
27:20Right, good luck, Anne.
27:21Bye.
27:22Go do it.
27:23Faster.
27:24Faster.
27:25Faster.
27:26Faster.
27:27Faster.
27:28Faster.
27:29Faster.
27:30Faster.
27:31Faster.
27:32Faster.
27:33Faster.
27:34Faster.
27:35Faster.
27:36Faster.
27:37Faster.
27:38Faster.
27:39Faster.
27:40Faster.
27:41Faster.
27:42Faster.
27:43Faster.
27:44Faster.
27:45Faster.
27:46Go on!
27:47Well done.
27:48Woo!
27:49Hey!
27:51Do it better than him!
27:54Can Gwyneth beat that?
27:57Keep going.
27:58Keep going.
27:59Faster.
28:00Ooh.
28:01This one is.
28:02Listen to that.
28:03Gwyneth's angry now.
28:04Turn.
28:05Oh, yeah!
28:06Beautiful.
28:07Yeah!
28:08Yay!
28:09Oh, she's on the go.
28:11Well done.
28:13And finally, Beryl had a go.
28:17On you go, Beryl!
28:18Keep going.
28:19Keep going.
28:20Keep going.
28:21Keep going.
28:22Turn.
28:23Handbrake.
28:24You can do it.
28:25That's brilliant.
28:26You can do donuts and you can handbrake turn.
28:27I'll tell you what, next time there's a WI meeting, when you enter that car park, it
28:39won't smell of ginger biscuits and sponge cake.
28:41It'll be burning rubber.
28:43Anyway, thanks very much to her grannies.
28:45Massive sports.
28:46Big round of applause.
28:47Thanks very much.
28:55Right, right, right.
28:56Listen.
28:57Tonight's show is all about fashion.
28:58It's all about cool.
28:59So, there was only one star we could put in our reasonably priced car.
29:03Just a moment.
29:04That's better.
29:05Ladies and gentlemen.
29:06Let's meet her.
29:07God almighty.
29:08Tara Palmer Tonkinson.
29:09Hi, darling.
29:10How are you?
29:11It's all right, man.
29:12Have a seat.
29:13Oh, thank you, that.
29:14It's not making a pass.
29:15No, it's not.
29:16It's like having an anaesthetic in your mouth.
29:17Anyway, what do you think?
29:18Cushions, flowers?
29:19Oh, look, you've got me some lovely flowers.
29:20$3.95.
29:21They're on the turn.
29:22Beautiful.
29:23But they're just about okay, so yeah, we've got those.
29:24They're a lovely milk tray, because they're late.
29:25Oh, look, you've got me some lovely flowers.
29:26Oh, look, you've got me some lovely flowers.
29:29Oh, look, you've got me some lovely flowers.
29:31$3.95.
29:32They're on the turn, but they're just about okay, so yeah, we've got those.
29:37A lovely milk tray, because the lady loves.
29:39Have one.
29:40Oh, Jeremy, that's horrible.
29:41Jason!
29:42You've eaten the chocolates again.
29:44That's terrible.
29:45I have to eat the potpourri.
29:47No, no, Jason will be after that afterwards.
29:49Um, driving.
29:50Yes.
29:51You and I have met before in a car.
29:55This was on old Top Gear, and this was old Tara.
29:58It was a long time ago, wasn't it?
30:00Yeah, shall we just remind ourselves of what Tara's like behind the wheel of a car, all right?
30:06Let's have a look at this.
30:07Oh, no.
30:08Don't look at the shots.
30:09Okay.
30:10Chanel, these are good shots.
30:11See, if they've changed Gucci windows.
30:13And, and I just want to show everyone that these are the shoes I'm driving in.
30:18Oh, I've had my hovered lights on the whole door.
30:21No, you haven't.
30:22You just picked them on while demonstrating your shoes that we're doing.
30:24Ah, 300 miles an hour.
30:25No, I just want to show everyone, you know, and I can do it in flutter heels, too.
30:29Lights are out.
30:30I wasn't gonna go through.
30:31That's enough of that.
30:32Now, that was a long time ago.
30:33At one point, we hit, and I have to look disapproving for this, okay?
30:34Yes, okay.
30:35There's a big thing going, 100 miles an hour on Sloan Street, which is in London.
30:48Do you crash a lot?
30:50No, I don't actually, no.
30:51Only people, no.
30:52No.
30:53No, I don't.
30:54Because there's a report in the newspapers the other day, which said that women are more
30:59prone to crash into stationary objects, and that men crash into high speed things.
31:05No, no, I don't crash, but when I park, I think that the bumpers are there, so you go bump,
31:10bump, bump, bump, in.
31:12Move on from that one.
31:15What do you look for in a car?
31:17I mean, what was it that first attracted you to the free Honda NSX?
31:21Yeah.
31:22Not that it was free, of course.
31:25No, I look for, I like convertible cars, actually.
31:30I've always loved convertible cars.
31:31I like, I like fast cars.
31:35Exactly.
31:36So what's your idea of perfect car?
31:38The Jaguar XK8, without a doubt, is the most beautiful car I've ever driven.
31:43Yeah.
31:44Yes.
31:45Are they cool or not?
31:46Yes.
31:47No, they remind me of a bad day in the south of France.
31:49You see, I said they are.
31:52But, I've got to say, look, if a guy has worked, you know, worked really hard, and he gets
31:58like a big bonus, and his dream is always to have a red Ferrari, so why shouldn't he spend
32:02his Christmas bonus and buy that car and drive it with pride?
32:05His Christmas bonus?
32:07Well, you know, you hear a lot about these bonuses.
32:11Well, I know what you mean.
32:13In this city, some people get big bonuses.
32:15In Rotherham, nobody gets 100 grand bonuses.
32:17No, but I'm just saying, if somebody's worked their ass off, and you know, they get the
32:21car and everything, then why shouldn't they get whatever car they like?
32:24Who am I to judge?
32:25But I've got to say, I don't like a car which is just flashy and vulgar.
32:30Can I make a suggestion?
32:31You know, you say you like the Jaguar XKs.
32:34It's a nice car, but what you actually want is a Mitsubishi Evo 7.
32:39Am I right?
32:40Really?
32:41A girl in one of, you won't like it, but a girl in one of those is about as big a turn-on
32:47as anything I can imagine.
32:49Well, hello.
32:50Now, I want to ask the men's opinion.
32:52Do you all agree, or is he lying?
32:55Yes.
32:56Isn't it?
32:57Where's the shop where they are sold?
32:59The shop?
33:01Well...
33:02And is it still open?
33:04I'll tell you what.
33:05Talk to me later.
33:06I'll find out where a Mitsubishi garage is.
33:08They're not expensive.
33:09You can have an Evo 7.
33:10But why is it so sexy?
33:11Why?
33:12Why?
33:13What is it?
33:14It's because it's a really serious rally car.
33:16Very, very, very fast.
33:18Okay?
33:19As far as I know, no girl in the whole of human history has ever bought one.
33:23Right.
33:24That's going to be me.
33:25Get one.
33:26What would you think, though, if a man had that in his house or his flat?
33:31It's a wine cooler.
33:32Oh.
33:33No, not a cooler.
33:34I mean a wine storage thing.
33:35Yeah, yeah.
33:36Head gaskets from an Audi A6.
33:37Now, do you think that's cool?
33:38Yeah.
33:39Or...
33:40Really?
33:41Yeah, I do.
33:42I think that's really cool.
33:43Because I do too, and I was worried that you'd think...
33:44No, no, I think that is excellent.
33:45Have it.
33:46What about this, then?
33:47Magazine rack, which is a spring.
33:49Yes.
33:50Yes, you see that?
33:51Oh, my goodness.
33:52That is heavy.
33:53You see?
33:54And look at these.
33:55This is a coat hook.
33:56Do you know what these are?
33:57That's a coat hook.
33:58Now it is.
33:59Valves.
34:00Do you know what show you've come to?
34:01You see, I like that.
34:02You like that as well?
34:03I like that.
34:04I like that.
34:05It's cool.
34:06No, it's not jewelry.
34:07Anyway, there's a habit.
34:08Take it all away.
34:09There you are.
34:10That's that.
34:11So these are my little presents.
34:12Actually, they will go down rather nice in my new loft apartment.
34:14You've come here, obviously, to drive our reasonably priced car.
34:17Yes.
34:18Was that the Suzuki?
34:19Yeah.
34:20What did you think of it?
34:21Well, it was really nice, actually.
34:22It was a good little run around.
34:23Could have done, you know, maybe going a little bit quicker, but it was very, very good.
34:27Well, this is how fast all of our guests have been so far.
34:31Oh, let's see.
34:32JK, 1.48, two seconds faster than me, rather annoyingly.
34:36Were they all in the Suzuki?
34:38Yeah, they've all been around in the Suzuki.
34:40Steve Coogan, he did it in the rain, in 1.53, Kemp, 1.54, Ross Kemp.
34:46Jonathan Ross, 1.57, Harry Enfield, two days.
34:49Oh, my goodness.
34:50Very slow.
34:51Now, two days and an hour, that is.
34:54And it was quite wet today.
34:56It was wet.
34:57And I had my coat in the front seat, which weighs a lot.
34:59Good excuse.
35:00Best excuse we've had so far.
35:02Shall we see the lap, everyone?
35:03Yeah.
35:04Here we go.
35:05You look scared.
35:07I was.
35:08Okay, Jeremy, so I've been asked to talk my way through exactly what I'm doing.
35:12So this is how I plan to go really quickly and pretend that I'm coming up to Harvey Nichols,
35:17and the shop is about to close, and I have to get there, because otherwise I'm not going to get those shoes, which I really want.
35:23Got a break.
35:24Oh, they're closing the doors.
35:26Okay, sexy man on the street.
35:29Wait to him.
35:30The last one.
35:31It's all very simple.
35:33It's just mind over matter.
35:35Yeah, that looks good.
35:36Oh, hey.
35:37I mean, the last thing you want to think about is the car.
35:40You just have to think that you're driving with no clothes on, singing your songs.
35:46Aww.
35:47What on earth are you talking about?
35:49You said talk yourself through it.
35:51No.
35:52I'm impressed, but that's fine.
35:55Not bad as well.
35:56Right in the mark.
35:57I now understand.
35:59Oh, sorry.
36:01So nice.
36:02Oh, nice.
36:03Well held.
36:04That was very well held.
36:05Not bad, is it?
36:06Look, in the lines.
36:07I know, and you're across the line.
36:08Yay.
36:09Now somebody told me that you cut one of the corners there.
36:20Did anyone else see that?
36:21No.
36:22None of them did.
36:23I didn't either.
36:24Who's the person who said?
36:26One of the producers came and said she cut one of the corners.
36:28I had a really careful look.
36:29I don't think she did.
36:31Now, you are the first girl to come on, so it is important for the girls how you did.
36:35I'd better have beaten Harry Enfield.
36:36Harry Enfield, you've beaten Enfield.
36:38Do you think you went faster than Jonathan floppy hair Ross?
36:41Yeah.
36:42I think I may have done.
36:43You did.
36:44Do you think you went faster than Ross Kemp?
36:45Probably not.
36:46You didn't go faster than Ross Kemp, but you drew with him!
36:501 minute 54!
36:51Look at that!
36:52Look at that!
36:53Ladies first, we'll put you in the top.
36:54Only a second behind Steve Coogan.
36:55My dad will be so proud.
36:56Well, there we are.
36:57We're very pleased to have had you here.
36:58Yeah, I loved it.
36:59Ladies and gentlemen, Tara Farmer Tomkinson!
37:01This week's insider trading.
37:16Now, Suzuki Liana.
37:18Reasonably priced.
37:19Really?
37:209995.
37:21Tara liked it.
37:22She did.
37:23Jonathan Ross said it was a beast.
37:24He did.
37:25He did.
37:26JK described it as...
37:27Alright.
37:28And he's a rock star.
37:29He's a rock star.
37:30And at 9995, it's a bargain.
37:31But this week, I got an email from a Suzuki main dealer and they said, ha ha, not 9995,
37:368995.
37:37That's a very reasonably priced count.
37:39Well, I thought so as well.
37:40And then, I got two more emails from two more main dealers, 7995.
37:45That's an insanely reasonably priced count.
37:47It is.
37:48I think we ought to change the feature.
37:49It's now a start in a reasonably priced, heavily discounted car.
37:52It is, pretty much.
37:53Absolutely.
37:54Now, it's that time of year again.
37:56We're building up to Christmas and a little used car buying tip for you all.
38:00Some of the big PLCs, some of the big used car operations have to dispose of stock before
38:05the year end.
38:06Okay.
38:07Basically, it's to do with some of their financial constraints.
38:09They have to carry a certain amount of stock into the new year.
38:11So, they're going to sell a load of cars.
38:12They're going to sell a load of cars.
38:13Now, it doesn't tend to affect the smaller dealers, the family run businesses and so forth.
38:17It's the big ones, the PLCs.
38:19So, knowing that, if you're going to go into any of those places to buy a used car in the
38:22next probably four to five weeks, yeah, keep that in the back of your mind, you're going
38:26to get a storming deal.
38:27So, they may not be advertised, but you know that it's just...
38:30Absolutely.
38:31You're not going to advertise the fact, but now you know it.
38:32So, go in and do that deal.
38:34Okay, finance.
38:35Right.
38:36Loads of people, me included, use finance to buy a car.
38:38Interest rates are pretty low at the moment.
38:40Good time to use it.
38:41But, when you come to part exchange your car, if you've still got some finance outstanding
38:44on it, you've obviously got to settle it.
38:46Now, when you do a deal at a garage, nine times out of ten, they will take care of settling
38:50that for you.
38:51In other words, they'll send the cheque off to the finance company, take it out the value
38:54of your car.
38:55Why do they do that?
38:56Well, really, it's for their own peace of mind.
38:58Because, until the finance is settled, they can't trade the car, they can't auction the
39:01car.
39:02Okay, so they've got to get it off the finance register.
39:04And, normally, that's fine.
39:05But, a friend of mine this week got a letter from his finance company, saying that he's
39:09still owed £1,500 finance, and he part exchange the car back in August.
39:13So, the dealer hadn't paid it off?
39:15Basically, the dealer hadn't paid it off.
39:17And, he's still liable for that.
39:19Now, worse than that, he then goes to phone the dealer, you've made a mistake, you know,
39:23and they've gone bust.
39:24And, we're not talking about a small dealer, we're talking about a main Ford dealer.
39:27Has gone bust.
39:28So, your mate is then presumably liable for the outstanding finance on the car, despite
39:32having sold it on.
39:33So, what can we do to avoid that happening?
39:34One of two things, either settle the finance yourself, or secondly, if the dealer still
39:39insists that they want to do it, see the cheque that they're going to send off.
39:42When you do the deal, go and pick your car up, see the cheque they're going to send,
39:45and then, please, phone the finance company, and make sure that it's done a few days later.
39:49Then you're safe.
39:50Then you're safe.
39:51Okay, today we've been talking about cool cars.
39:54So, I thought I'd show you a used car that's never gone out of fashion.
39:57The Volkswagen Golf.
39:59There are cars that are cheaper, there are cars that are prettier, and there are cars that
40:03can drive better.
40:04But, if we're talking about style, if we're talking about the X Factor, then we've got
40:08to talk about the Golf.
40:10When it was launched in 1974, the Golf defined what the small hatchback was all about.
40:16And in the 80s, the Mark II secured the car's status as a style icon, with the help of some
40:22brilliant TV ads.
40:23It's here today and gone tomorrow, but the world goes on the same.
40:35And in the caring-sharing 90s, the Mark III Golf once again captured the mood of the
40:40times, by selling itself as safe and green.
40:43Even though it was heavy and dull compared to its predecessors.
40:47A lot of people said with the Mark III that Volkswagen should stop making the Golf.
40:51It had gone too soft.
40:53But they didn't.
40:54Launched in 1998, the Mark IV has the same dependable, reliable character as the Mark III.
41:07Although these later versions will never deliver the excitement of the Mark I and Mark II, if
41:12you're using your head rather than your heart, they're definitely the best second-hand vibe.
41:17You can pick up a good mid-90s Mark III for about four grand, or the later Mark IV with reasonable
41:24mileage for about six and a half.
41:29One of the reasons these cars hold their value so well is the styling.
41:33I mean, it's very conservative.
41:35You could buy a Mark III, which is quite a lot cheaper than a Mark IV.
41:38Nobody would look at you and go, oh, cheapskate.
41:41But it still looks the part.
41:43As a used car, this is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free car.
41:47If you park one of these on your drive, your neighbours will never know how well you're
41:51doing or not.
41:52So what about engines?
41:54Well, you could go for a 1.4, but they're desperately slow.
41:57Then you've got the 1.6 and the 2-litre.
41:59I'd actually go for the 1.6.
42:01It's only 15 brake horsepower less, and it's a couple of insurance groups lower.
42:05My recommendation is, if you want a second-hand Golf with real performance, buy a diesel.
42:14You can buy a second-hand Golf diesel with 110, 130 or 150 brake horsepower, but combine
42:22that with the torque you get from the diesel, and that'll embarrass any of the petrols.
42:35So if you fancy buying a used Golf, what else do you need to know?
42:39Well, a couple of things.
42:40Number one, unless you've got to, I would steer clear buying the automatic.
42:44It's only a four-speed gearbox on all but the very latest models, and with that you're
42:47going to dent performance and economy.
42:50One thing that is worth hunting down there is air conditioning.
42:52It's not standard on most models, but it's a really nice option to have.
42:56Oh, and finally, colour.
42:59Colour is very important.
43:01This should be the most desirable Golf that money can buy.
43:06It's a GT TDI.
43:07It's even got air conditioning.
43:10But look at the colour.
43:12It's a horrible, horrible green with a horrible, horrible interior, which means that this
43:17car is worth £500 less than a blue one or a silver one or a black one.
43:23You see, the Golf has always had style.
43:26But in this colour, it's out of fashion.
43:29So, Jason, you're always telling us clever ways to save a few quid, yeah?
43:33And we can save £500 by buying it in the wrong colour.
43:35So, logically, you buy it in the wrong colour and save the money, don't you?
43:38Yeah, you've got to live with the car, though, haven't you?
43:40I mean, there's nothing worse than driving something that you really are ashamed of.
43:44You can get it right.
43:45I mean, some cars work in some colours, don't they?
43:47Oh, yeah.
43:48I mean, there's classic colours like Jagger.
43:49It's silvers, it's blues, it's greens and that kind of stuff.
43:51And what's that launch colour you see on cars sometimes?
43:54It's like a yellowy, autumnal, barley gold.
43:57Oh, for heaven's sake!
43:59Enough of their autumnal colours.
44:01I want to get back to my cool wall, which I've just thought of again.
44:05And the reason is, is because of the Mercedes SL.
44:09Now, the 60s version, photograph of which I have here, that's very cool.
44:14Kate Moss has one, we all agreed on that?
44:16Yeah.
44:17Definitely goes here, right?
44:19Sub-zero.
44:20But then, in the 70s and the 80s, they had this version, okay?
44:25What do we think?
44:26Uncle.
44:27Uncle.
44:28Bobby Ewing had one in Dallas, that says it all.
44:31It's going there.
44:32Now, that was replaced by this one.
44:36And this one, I'm afraid, had the kiss of death.
44:39Quentin Wilson bought one.
44:43Where's it going?
44:45Seriously uncool.
44:46Seriously uncool.
44:47Over there.
44:48But, now, there's a new Mercedes SL for the 21st century.
44:53And we've got one over here.
44:56Now, the question I have is, can you buy one?
44:59I don't mean, can you afford one?
45:01£67,000 is what it costs.
45:03I mean, can you buy one?
45:05Could you drive around in this without people openly laughing at you?
45:09Well, this is the 500, okay?
45:11And I think the answer is no.
45:14But, this has a big brother.
45:18This is it, the AMG-tuned SL55, the fastest automatic car in the world.
45:30Its supercharged 5.5-litre V8 engine churns out nearly 500 brake horsepower.
45:36And that means a top speed, if you take the restrictor off, of more than 200 miles an hour.
45:43But I'm not going 200 miles an hour.
45:45In fact, I'm not even going 20 miles an hour.
45:48And there's a very good reason for that.
45:52Most of the cars that we feature on Top Gear are borrowed from huge, faceless car manufacturers.
45:58We simply keep them for a week and then give them back when the tyres are worn out.
46:02But this one is different.
46:04This one belongs to me.
46:08I bought it, my money, and they're my tyres, and I'm not going to wear them out.
46:15I sold a Ferrari 355 to buy this.
46:19That was a fabulous car, but it was as relaxing as being tickled.
46:24The Mercedes can play that game too, but unlike the Ferrari, it's also good at chess.
46:30After a hard day at work, not that I've ever had a hard day at work, but if I were to ever have a hard day at work, I'd be able to waft home in this in absolute luxury.
46:42It's got all the same toys that we saw in the S-Class last week.
46:45You know, the seats are air-conditioned and they massage you as you drive along.
46:49I've got TV, CD, telephone.
46:52I've got radar-guided cruise control, voice activation.
46:56I'd just go CD three, track five.
47:12The Ferrari could never do this.
47:14Not this silence, softness, quietness.
47:19And here's something else the Ferrari could never do.
47:24When the sky is blue, you just push a button and in 16 seconds, the roof is gone.
47:30So now, the comfortable Grand Tourer has been converted into a two-seater sports car.
47:43But don't think any of the practicality has been lost.
47:46Even though that metal roof and the big glass window has been folded into the boot,
47:52there is still space in here for my suitcase, my briefcase and 16 changes of clothing.
47:59There is still space in here.
48:01There is still space in here.
48:06Occasionally, though, you catch a glimpse of those aluminium slashes on the bonnet,
48:11which are like a big cat's claws, and you think,
48:15I'm wasting this car.
48:17I've got to open the taps just a little bit.
48:22Now we're doing seven miles to the gallon.
48:35The traction control is on full alert, and it sounds like a World War II fighter.
48:40This is the kind of noise, deep resonating noise, that hurts dogs.
48:50When I come home at night in this, my Labradors stick their paws in their ears and...
48:55And whimper.
48:58Whoa!
49:02They actually use one of these as a pace car, a kind of safety car in Grand Prix races.
49:11And if you watch it, even on TV, you can hear it.
49:16A sort of baritone backdrop to the shrieking Soprano F1 motors.
49:23In a straight line, it monsters the 355,
49:26but then it does have 100 more brake horsepower.
49:29It's not all sweetness and light, though.
49:31It doesn't have the finesse of a Ferrari.
49:34If you run over a pothole, the suspension crashes,
49:37and through the corners, there's no getting away from the fact
49:41that you are driving a pretty heavy old hectare.
50:07So, how do we sum it up, then?
50:17The Ferrari is like a stiletto.
50:20Sleek.
50:21Accurate.
50:22Deadly.
50:26This, on the other hand, is more like a hammer.
50:28Big.
50:29A bit clumsy.
50:31But it'll still kill you.
50:33Actually, not a hammer.
50:35It's more like a Swiss army knife.
50:37It's a top-down funster.
50:39A long-distance cruiser.
50:40A muscle car.
50:41A Messerschmitt ME 109.
50:43A Posemobile.
50:44And if your horse gets a stone in its shoe,
50:47it can deal with that, too.
50:57So, Jeremy, you think, then, the AMG version,
50:59that is a cool car?
51:01I think the engine rescues it, yes.
51:03But I am aware the rest of it is quite northern.
51:06And that's the trouble, you see.
51:07I am a northern person.
51:09I like Onyx coffee tables.
51:12No, I do.
51:13I'm sorry, I do.
51:14You know, I know I shouldn't have a carpet in my bathroom.
51:16I know that.
51:17But I've got one.
51:18You have a drinks globe, don't you, Jeremy?
51:20I haven't got a drinks globe, but secretly, in there, I want one.
51:24And that's it.
51:25And that's it.
51:26And on that bombshell, really, we have to end the show.
51:28Um, actually, we don't.
51:29That's not strictly correct.
51:31You see, this whole SL thing, right, your car in particular,
51:34do you not think it's ever so slightly camp?
51:38Just, you know, all these fins and bits and pieces?
51:40Yes.
51:41Well, we did.
51:42So I had a bit of a mooch about it.
51:44Michelle, can you bring this in?
51:45We had a little bit of a look on the internet.
51:47You know, your favourite place, Jeremy.
51:49Mm.
51:50Quite worried.
51:51This is a website.
51:52Now, it's called OutUK, and it's for the gay man.
51:54And it's, it's kind of a lifestyle thing.
51:58It's got, it's got everything you need for your gay lifestyle.
52:02It's got, you know, what to watch on television.
52:04There's a very handsome man.
52:05If the SL is in here, it's for sale.
52:06Well, it does have, it does have car stuff in here.
52:10And if we have a look down, look, there's you see the auto-erotic.
52:13Oh, aren't they lovely?
52:14There's a little smart.
52:15Yeah.
52:16And then we found the top ten gayest cars.
52:18And if you look at number four, which is quite near the top, really,
52:21that's, that's the Mercedes SL 55 AMG.
52:26That's, that's your car.
52:28And do you know what's even more worrying is that the car I've just singled out
52:31for particular praise, the Jeep Wranglers at number two.
52:36Is there anything you need to tell us?
52:39It's not just the Onyx coffee table.
52:41It's not just the carpeted bathroom.
52:43I'm coming out.
52:46And the other point is, this is a fast car.
52:49How many more points have you got that I don't know?
52:51This is a fast car, isn't it?
52:53This isn't.
52:54Mine is.
52:55And we've established it's a fast car.
52:56The AMG.
52:57We noticed the Stig didn't drive it.
52:58No.
52:59We have a Stig.
53:00There was no way I was going to let the Stig.
53:02Seriously, I was not going to let the Stig drive it.
53:03No.
53:04Because it's your car.
53:05Exactly.
53:06Yeah.
53:07But we let the Stig drive it when we stole the key.
53:11I'm joking.
53:15Oh, that was a useless start.
53:16It was a very quick start.
53:17It was a good one.
53:18It wasn't it.
53:19I've broken the diff and the clutch and everything.
53:21And I'm killing it.
53:22That's some proper speed.
53:37He's got 1 minute 23 to beat and he's trying hard.
53:39That's very, very good.
53:40He's got off the track!
53:48There we are, aren't we?
53:49And he crosses the line in!
53:50My car is what he crosses the line in.
53:51Yes, but also in 1 minute 33, which is extremely quick.
54:01In fact, because that's a wet time, if you're knocked the 4 seconds off that, that means
54:05it's as fast or faster than a Lamborghini Merchelago.
54:08So your car is very, very fast.
54:10Gay, but very, very fast.
54:13And you got it back in one piece.
54:15Happy?
54:16No, I'm not happy.
54:18To be perfectly honest, I am not happy.
54:20And that really is the end of your life.
54:23But from here, from everyone, goodnight!
54:30More next week, same time.
54:32Human Instinct, next tonight on BBC Prime.
54:35The story of the instinctive urges within every one of us.
54:46The studio air off.
54:47We're talking inacia Live.
54:48We're talking aboutaredps in-ographic.
54:49Both live or territorium pursues within each one of us.
54:52From in addition to teil...
54:53We burn our bad times before...
54:54...we've been in awe.
54:55...saving fun.
54:56I make this, in increment.
54:57We can never get done!
54:58You wouldn't do it.
54:59We might have a path駿 stat, but don't stick you out.
55:01That it will take me for but we're on.
55:03One day to go at this point.
55:04We have to getổ of capital.
55:05It's underteensit.
55:06We were going for definite first.
55:09It's underlie as well.
55:10This is longer a צ populace.
55:11It's underth dive and also Espain.
55:12But once again, we're doing it.
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