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00:26I mean, it's only a hundred.
00:27Yeah, not the good aim.
00:28And I said I'd pay it back in six weeks.
00:30Well, knock it off your wages.
00:31And she said it would be all right.
00:33Oh.
00:34I mean, if he'd said no three weeks ago when I asked him, I could have got the money somewhere
00:38else.
00:39Ask him this morning.
00:40But I've asked him three times. It's embarrassing.
00:42Well, tell him, sir, if he won't let you have it, you'll go.
00:44I've got to have it this weekend.
00:46Well, ask him.
00:47I mean, me and you practically run the bleeding place for him.
00:50Ah, Polly, your paintings brushes.
00:53Thank you, my mother.
00:54Here, and the change is 44p.
00:57Ah, what's all that?
00:59Oh, I make a paella.
01:00A surprise tonight.
01:02My mother's recipe is...
01:04But does Terry know?
01:06Oh, perhaps Mr Fawlty say.
01:14Anything wrong?
01:15Nothing you could do anything about, thank you, Polly.
01:18Are you sure?
01:19Our 15th wedding anniversary today.
01:22Guess who's forgotten?
01:23Oh, no.
01:25I didn't think he'd forget this year.
01:27Not after what happened when he forgot last year.
01:30I shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it.
01:33I'm just cursed with a sensitive nature, I'm afraid.
01:37See, oh, that's the way I am.
01:38I suppose we all have our cross to bear.
01:45Do you know what poem that's based on, Polly?
01:47No.
01:48Oh, to joy.
01:49Hello, dear.
01:51Oh, well, Polly, you won't forget to put some more splits in the bar, will you?
01:54No, I'll do it later.
01:54I don't expect Polly will forget, Basil.
01:56No, just reminding her, dear.
01:57Oh, were you?
01:58Oh, I thought so, yes.
01:59Really?
01:59Well, it sounded like it to me.
02:00You don't have to worry about Polly forgetting anything important, Basil.
02:03Don't I?
02:04No, you don't.
02:05Oh, good, how splendid.
02:06No, she doesn't forget things.
02:07Doesn't she?
02:08Well, can you remember the last time she did?
02:10No, I can't, but then my memory isn't very good.
02:13You can say that again.
02:15Can I do that?
02:16Oh, thank you.
02:18I've forgotten what it was.
02:21Well, don't worry, Basil, provided you can remember the things that matter to you.
02:27Do I detect the smell of burning Marta?
02:30Mr. Dalton, it's your anniversary.
02:33Hmm, but don't let on.
02:34What?
02:35I'm pretending I've forgotten.
02:36Well, I forgot last year and I got flayed alive for it, so we've got some friends arriving
02:39in about ten minutes for a surprise drinks party.
02:42Manuel's making a special paella for tonight.
02:44Got some champagne, but don't tell her I've remembered yet.
02:46Let's let her have a bit of a fume.
02:49Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil?
02:52Yes, but not as economical.
02:54Hi, Mr. Fawlty.
02:55What time for the paella?
02:57Uh, nine o'clock, but secret.
02:59Oh, secret.
03:01Hi, Mr. Fawlty.
03:02Hmm?
03:03Have you decided about the car?
03:04The car?
03:06The money for the car.
03:07I spoke to Mrs. Fawlty and she said it was all right.
03:09Yes, I don't think she quite understands the cash flow situation, vis-Ã -vis the frozen
03:13acid.
03:13But it's only a hundred.
03:14Yes, well...
03:15I thought I'd pay you back in six weeks.
03:16Let me think about it.
03:17But I've got to know this weekend they won't hold it any longer.
03:19This week?
03:20Oh, well, you should have told me.
03:22I told you three weeks ago.
03:24Look, look, it's my anniversary, right?
03:25I've got some friends arriving in a few minutes.
03:27We'll discuss it later.
03:28Oh, and when they get here, give me a hand with the coats and drinks, will you?
03:31I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?
03:33What's this, then?
03:35Oh, good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
03:37Good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
03:38Good morning, ladies.
03:41Could I have a word with you, Basil?
03:43Uh, could it wait just a few minutes, dear?
03:45No.
03:49Is everything all right, dear?
03:51You seem just a little bit tense.
03:53Do you know what date it is today, Basil?
03:56Um, it's the 16th today, dear.
03:58It's the 17th, Basil.
04:00Oh, no, no, it's the 16th of April.
04:02It's the 17th, Basil.
04:04Well, we'll soon settle this, sir.
04:08Oh, yes, you are right.
04:10The 17th of April.
04:11Well, well, well.
04:13Does that stir any memories in you, Basil?
04:16Memories?
04:19Agincourt?
04:24What?
04:25Anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt?
04:29Trafalgar?
04:30Cressy?
04:31Poitier?
04:32Yom Kippur?
04:34Mr. Fawlty?
04:35Manuel says he's cooking a paella for you.
04:38Shh, um, yes, Mrs. Fawlty.
04:39Anniversary.
04:40I can do paella, you know.
04:41Yes, I know.
04:42I have been to catering school.
04:43Oh, yes, I know, but he is Spanish, you know,
04:45and I thought it'd be rather nice to do.
04:46Dispacho, chicken andalus, eggplant espagnol,
04:48franco fritters, I can do it, you know.
04:50Yes, of course you can,
04:51but he's been wanting to do it ever since he got here.
04:53See, I thought it'd be rather nice, you know,
04:54just to, just to lie, to give him the charm.
05:01I don't want to cause trouble, Mr. Fawlty.
05:03Yes, you do.
05:04Mr. Fawlty.
05:05Now, don't you start.
05:05I don't want an argument.
05:06No, no, no, please, think.
05:07Now, be quiet.
05:08I told him I want you to do it.
05:09No, no, no.
05:10Mrs. Fawlty, she go.
05:12What?
05:12She leave, she leave, she go out.
05:15What?
05:17Say, oh!
05:19No, Sybil, Sybil!
05:21Sybil!
05:22No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:23Do you remember me, I remember Sybil?
05:25There's a party, Sybil.
05:26He's going to keep it.
05:27I don't want to keep it.
05:29I don't want to keep it.
05:42Everything all right?
05:45A bit of a bump.
05:46Just smoothing it out.
05:50Oh, not at all.
05:51Um, come on in.
06:03What do I see?
06:05What am I going to see?
06:06Oh, say she's, um...
06:07She's her arm.
06:08Oh, brilliant.
06:09Problem solved.
06:10She's her arm.
06:11It's surprise party.
06:12Yes?
06:13She know here.
06:14Right.
06:14That is surprise.
06:18Hello, Baz.
06:19Say she's ill.
06:20She's ill.
06:20What?
06:21She's ill.
06:21Sybil, how are you?
06:22What would you like to drink?
06:23Sybil.
06:23Yes.
06:24Oh, dear.
06:25What's the matter?
06:25Did you hear that?
06:26I said Sybil.
06:28Yes.
06:29Oh, did you got it?
06:29No, no, no.
06:30I'm fine.
06:30No, no, no.
06:31I mean, I call her...
06:32I call her Syb, right?
06:34So Sybil.
06:35Baz-well.
06:36Ha, ha, ha.
06:38Manuel?
06:41What's the matter, Baz-well?
06:42Yeah, what have you done to her, eh, Baz?
06:44Roger.
06:45Oh, she knows my name.
06:46She's been learning it all night.
06:47What's the matter, Baz-well?
06:48Nothing.
06:50Nothing.
06:51With Sybil.
06:52Oh, with Sybil.
06:52Uh, quite a bit, actually.
06:54Oh, dear.
06:55No, no, she's fine.
06:56She's absolutely fine.
06:56Well, I mean, she's feeling dreadful, but she'll live.
06:59That's what counts in all right, doesn't it?
07:00Well, I'll pop up and see her.
07:01Oh, do you not want to bother with that?
07:03Come on through.
07:03Have a drink.
07:03No, you go on.
07:04I'll see you, wouldn't you?
07:05No, no, Alice.
07:05Yes?
07:06I wouldn't, actually.
07:07Let him have a matter, old boy.
07:08No, no, I mustn't.
07:09Oh, but she's up there on her own.
07:10I'm sure she'd like a little company.
07:12I know I would.
07:13Well, you wouldn't if you looked like her.
07:15You know, she's very swollen up.
07:17You know, she looks very...
07:18You know what Sybil's like about her appearance.
07:19Oh, don't be silly, Baz-well, she won't mind me sing.
07:22Oh, she would.
07:23I think she would.
07:24Oh, but it's her anniversary.
07:24She's up there all on her own.
07:26Ah.
07:29Old leg, bit of chip.
07:31Better have a drink.
07:32Come on through.
07:33Oh, poor Baz-well.
07:35Look, let me call her, then.
07:36What?
07:37Let me call her from down here and see what she says about it.
07:40There's the phone.
07:41Come on, Baz, let's have a drink.
07:43No, no, please.
07:44Come on, please.
07:45Why not?
07:46Well, no, she's having a bit of a sleep, you know.
07:48She can sleep all day, Baz-well, she won't mind me.
07:50No, but she's lost her voice.
07:52Lost her voice?
07:53Poor thing.
07:53Go on, just like that.
07:54Come on.
07:55Yes, just coming, Roger.
07:56After you, Alice.
07:57Yes.
07:59All right, Alice, what would you like to drink, Alice?
08:02Oh, gin and a drink, please, Baz-well.
08:04Right.
08:04Has a doctor been?
08:06What's yours, Rog?
08:08Gin and tonic.
08:09Oh, yes, of course.
08:10Right.
08:10Baz-well?
08:11Mm-hmm?
08:11Has a doctor been?
08:12Nuts.
08:16They've had a row.
08:17She's refused to come down.
08:19Um, you were just asking about the doctor?
08:21Yes.
08:21Yes, he hasn't been yet, in fact.
08:23Oh.
08:23I expect we'll get him out of this afternoon.
08:25Yes.
08:25Well, what a shame, eh?
08:26Poor old Sib, on your anniversary phone.
08:29Yes.
08:29Oh, hello, Polly.
08:30Oh, hello, Mrs Terry.
08:31Is it a shame about Mrs Fawlty?
08:33Isn't it?
08:34I'm afraid the doctor says she's going to have to be in bed for a couple of days.
08:37Yes, but the doctor hasn't actually been yet, Polly.
08:39I don't know who you were thinking of.
08:41But that man this morning, he looked like a doctor.
08:44Yes, yes, he did, actually.
08:45Yes, that's true.
08:46But he wasn't, unfortunately.
08:47He wasn't a doctor.
08:48No, no, he was a dentist.
08:49A dentist?
08:50Hmm?
08:50What was a dentist doing here?
08:52Staying in the hotel.
08:54He's a guest, you see.
08:54Dentists do stay in hotels, you know.
08:56Yes, but don't go about telling people's wives to stay in bed today.
09:00Oh, he must have been talking about his wife.
09:02His wife?
09:03Well, jolly good luck.
09:04Nice to see you both.
09:05Cheers.
09:06Up yours, Basil.
09:09She's better soon.
09:10Oh, yes, yes.
09:11Who, Sib or the dentist's wife?
09:16Well, you're both keeping well, are you?
09:18Oh, yes, yes.
09:18Couldn't be better.
09:19And you, Basil?
09:20Oh, can't complain.
09:21Well, I could, but he wouldn't do any good, would it?
09:23No, shame.
09:25On your anniversary as well.
09:26Yeah, still all comes out the wash, doesn't it?
09:28We're thinking of having this room done up, as a matter of fact.
09:30Really?
09:30Sort of captain's cabin, you know, put a couple of charts on the wall,
09:33a few ropes, wheel in the corner, that sort of thing.
09:35Yeah, give it a bit of class.
09:36Wasn't my idea, aren't you?
09:39Possible.
09:39Hello, hello, hello.
09:42Basil.
09:43Hello, Virginia.
09:44Hello, Arthur.
09:45Happy anniversary.
09:46Oh, thank you, thank you.
09:47We brought you a little surprise.
09:49Oh, can I see?
09:51Mm-hmm.
09:52Oh, cake, lovely.
09:53Jolly nice, yes.
09:54Oh, did you make it?
09:56Oh, lots of extra marzipan.
09:59Yes, she's not well.
10:00Hmm?
10:00Sybil.
10:01Not well?
10:02She's in bed.
10:03That's not like Sybil.
10:05She's lost her voice.
10:06What is it?
10:07Well, we're not absolutely sure.
10:08I bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan.
10:11Roger.
10:11Cheer her up, Basil.
10:12Good idea.
10:13We'll take her up a slice.
10:14Yes, I don't think we better.
10:16Oh, why not?
10:16Well, she really ought not to be disturbed.
10:18Oh, just for a minute, Basil.
10:19It's not a very good idea.
10:20Tomorrow, perhaps.
10:21Oh, what on earth the matter with her?
10:22Has the doctor been?
10:23No, but the dentist had a good look.
10:27The dentist?
10:28No, we call the doctor.
10:30We describe the symptoms through him over the phone.
10:31He says she ought to stay very, very quiet.
10:33Oh, Polly, what would you like to drink, Virginia?
10:35Oh, medium sherry, please.
10:36Mr. Paul.
10:37What are the symptoms?
10:39Well, she's lost her voice and she's very puffed up.
10:42Yes?
10:42What is it?
10:42Mr. Paul.
10:43He's telling you, he's been very difficult.
10:44Puffed up?
10:45What?
10:46He moved my pop.
10:47He put his pop where my pop is.
10:48Polly, what's puffed up?
10:51Beer for me.
10:52Well, put your pot somewhere else.
10:54I put it somewhere else.
10:55He move it again.
10:56What's puffed up?
10:57Lies.
10:58Well, tell him I said you ought to do it, all right?
10:59What?
11:00Lies.
11:01I tell you, he won't make trouble.
11:02He pushes mop in my feet.
11:04Her thighs.
11:07Thighs?
11:08Well, most of her legs, actually.
11:10Now, just tell him.
11:10Go on.
11:11Basil.
11:12Hmm?
11:13Polly says her legs are puffed up.
11:15Are they?
11:20No, Sibyl's.
11:21What?
11:22Sibyl's legs.
11:24Sibyl's legs?
11:25Her thighs.
11:26Oh, yes, just a bit.
11:28A tiny bit.
11:28But mainly around the face, around the eyes, you know.
11:32Face is puffed up.
11:33She's lost her voice and her legs are a bit...
11:36Expanded.
11:36Sad, isn't it?
11:38Full sow.
11:39Ha, ha.
11:39Well, when's the doctor coming?
11:41Later.
11:41Soon.
11:42Soon.
11:42When?
11:43Well, I don't know exactly.
11:44Well, I bet you do.
11:44I'll have a look at her.
11:45What?
11:45She sounds ill, Basil.
11:47She is ill.
11:48That's why we don't want people going up there and talking to her.
11:50I'm not going to talk to her, Basil.
11:52I'm going to look at her.
11:53Look at...
11:54She's ill, isn't she?
11:55What's the bloody point of looking at her?
11:58I am a nurse, Basil.
12:01Oh, no.
12:02I know!
12:02I know!
12:03I know!
12:06Do you hear that, everyone?
12:07All the years I've known her, Virginia, she thinks I've forgotten she's a nurse.
12:10You're a marvel, you know?
12:13Please let me go, Basil.
12:14Hmm?
12:15I want to look at Sybil.
12:16Well, you can't.
12:17Why not?
12:18Because...
12:19Because...
12:20You've lost weight, haven't you?
12:21Isn't that absolutely...
12:22Mr. Porty?
12:24Hmm?
12:24I think you ought to tell them.
12:26Oh.
12:28Right.
12:29About the doctor coming this morning?
12:32He came this morning.
12:33First thing.
12:34Well, why didn't you say?
12:37He didn't want to worry you.
12:39I didn't want to worry you.
12:41Is it serious?
12:44Well, it might be.
12:45Oh, dear.
12:46I mean, not completely serious, but slightly serious.
12:48Oh, Basil.
12:50It's all right.
12:50I'd just rather be, you know, talking about it.
12:53Hello, everyone.
12:54Hello.
12:54Hello, Basil.
12:56Hello, Basil.
12:57Hello, Roger.
12:58Hello, Reg.
12:59Hello.
12:59Sybil's not here, is she?
13:01Uh, no.
13:01There you are, you see.
13:02I told you so.
13:03I just saw her in the town.
13:05What?
13:07In her car.
13:08In the high street.
13:11That's another woman.
13:12What other woman?
13:13That woman who looks slightly like Sybil.
13:15You know her, don't you?
13:16You know?
13:17Like Sybil?
13:18What are you?
13:18Yes.
13:18Very, very broad, yes.
13:19She's from the north.
13:20Drives a Red Maxine, has she?
13:21Well, her husband does.
13:22I think I expect she borrowed it.
13:23Perhaps she stole yours, old boy.
13:25It's not out there.
13:26It's at the garage, Rog.
13:27She looks like Sybil.
13:28Yes.
13:29And she comes from the north?
13:30Well, she has a northern accent.
13:31You know, I assume she's from the north.
13:33Oh, you've spoken to her?
13:34Mm-hmm.
13:35What's her name?
13:36Well, I don't know her name.
13:36I mean, I only met her once.
13:37What?
13:38But of fate, I mean...
13:39Sorry, Basil.
13:40I didn't...
13:40No, no, of course.
13:42By the way, Basil, where is Sybil?
13:44She's in bed.
13:44Oh, dear.
13:46Yes, she's really not well.
13:47She really mustn't see anybody.
13:48Now, what?
13:48Not at all?
13:49No.
13:49Can't we just put our heads around the corner?
13:51No, I'm afraid not.
13:52She mustn't have any excitement.
13:53Oh, Basil.
13:54What do you mean, old Basil?
13:55Well, we are her oldest friends, old man.
13:57I mean, it can only do her good.
13:58And we have all come over here to see you both.
14:00Well, I'm sorry if you've been put out.
14:02I mean, you'll have some drinks, plenty of nuts,
14:04see your old friends, have some laughs,
14:05but if that isn't good enough,
14:06I'll refund your petrol for you.
14:08No.
14:09Steady on, Basil.
14:10Well, I'm sorry, but...
14:11Of course, we understand.
14:12You're a bit upset.
14:14Well, you know.
14:14Yes, of course.
14:15But you know us well enough.
14:17You should have called it off.
14:18Wait until she's better.
14:19Well, I would have done rich,
14:20but there just wasn't time.
14:21Wasn't time?
14:21She only began to puff up about an hour ago.
14:23Have you said that the doctor came first thing this morning?
14:26Yes, yes, that's right.
14:27Yes, that was for the throat.
14:28The puffing up started after he'd gone, okay?
14:31After?
14:32Yes, after.
14:32Are you taking notes?
14:34Where have you gone?
14:35I'm going to see her, Basil.
14:37There was something very peculiar about all this.
14:39No, I'm not standing here while an old friend like Sybil...
14:41Look, it's perfectly Sybil.
14:43Sybil's not well.
14:44She lost her throat and her voice hurt.
14:46The doctor came and said it was a bit serious.
14:48Not a lot, a bit.
14:49He went away.
14:50She started to puff up.
14:51He's coming back later this afternoon
14:52and it's best for her to be on her own.
14:54Now, what is so peculiar about that?
14:57Her driving round in the town?
15:01What did you say?
15:03No, sorry.
15:03Just a joke, Basil.
15:04Can I have another gin, please?
15:05Just a joke.
15:06What?
15:06She's done in the town driving around?
15:08Is that what she...
15:08Of course it isn't, Basil.
15:10No, no, no.
15:10No, obviously I've been standing around here
15:12making up crackpot stories
15:13about my wife being seriously upstairs.
15:15Is that it?
15:15No, no, no.
15:16Of course not.
15:16It was just that it was a bit funny
15:17Kitty seeing that northern woman in the car.
15:19Funny.
15:21Oh, I see.
15:22You mean you think that that was Sybil in the car
15:24and she's not upstairs.
15:25Is that it?
15:26Oh, I understand.
15:28I've got it now.
15:29Right.
15:29Well, what are we all waiting round here for?
15:31Come on.
15:31Everybody upstairs.
15:33Come on.
15:34No, Basil.
15:35No, no, no.
15:36Come on.
15:36Everyone who thinks I'm a liar.
15:37Come on.
15:38Come on.
15:39Come on.
15:39Come on.
15:40Come on.
15:40Hang on.
15:41Oh, don't get like that, Basil.
15:42No, come and see Sybil.
15:43Come on.
15:43We don't want to.
15:44No, it'd be best to leave her.
15:45We'll see her some other time.
15:46Yes, when she's feeling better.
15:47But Roger wants to know.
15:48No, we mustn't disturb her, Basil.
15:49No, no, no, no.
15:50If Roger wants to...
15:51He doesn't, Basil.
15:53Well, we could just say hello.
15:55Oh, Roger!
15:57Right.
15:57All right.
15:58Fine.
15:59All right.
16:00Okay, then.
16:01Fine.
16:01No problem.
16:02No problem.
16:02Suits me.
16:03Good idea.
16:04I'll just pop upstairs and ask her to stop dying, and then you can all come up and identify.
16:08All right, Polly?
16:09Would you give me a hand?
16:10Help yourself to another drink.
16:11Please.
16:12Make yourself at home.
16:12Relax.
16:14Any more nuts?
16:15What are you doing?
16:16You won't have to say anything.
16:17What?
16:18Oh, no.
16:19Come on.
16:19No, no, no.
16:20Come on.
16:20No.
16:21I won't.
16:22Yes, you will.
16:23How long?
16:23It's easy.
16:24You put on her dark glasses.
16:25One of her wings.
16:27John!
16:28Keep it away from me.
16:30Mr. Pottie, will you listen to me?
16:31You'll throw the curtain.
16:32Oh, come on.
16:33They never believe I was...
16:34Mr. Pottie.
16:35The seeing is believing.
16:36But I don't look like her.
16:37You're a woman, aren't you?
16:38My face is too long.
16:40Well, shorten it.
16:40You lost your voice.
16:41All you have to do is wave.
16:42Wave?
16:43You put one hand up and dig it about.
16:44You seem to get the hang of it.
16:47Mr. Pottie.
16:48I know you're very excited.
16:50You might even be having another spray down.
16:52I don't know.
16:52I'm no expert.
16:53But you must really try and see that this isn't going to work.
16:56Get that on.
16:57It isn't going to work.
16:58What's the matter?
16:59What's the matter?
16:59I'm not doing it.
17:00You want to be in a Marx Brothers film.
17:02That's your problem.
17:03I'm not interested.
17:04Not interested?
17:05No.
17:05This is all your fault.
17:06My fault?
17:07You said to say she was ill.
17:08You were the one who invited them to come up here.
17:10They didn't even want to.
17:11You be civil.
17:12You get into the bed.
17:13I'm too big.
17:14I'm kind of a stash.
17:15What's he supposed to be?
17:15A very big hairy bogey?
17:17It's something you get and you're pumped up.
17:20I'll ruin you.
17:21You'll never waitress in talkie again.
17:25Waitress?
17:25That's a joke.
17:26I help out at reception.
17:28I clean the rooms.
17:28I deal with the tradesmen.
17:30I mend the switchboard.
17:31I change the fuses.
17:32And if you think my duties now include impersonating members of your family,
17:35you have got one more screw loose than I thought.
17:38I'm not doing it.
17:39Do you understand?
17:40You get yourself out of it.
17:41But it's nothing to do with me.
17:55A hundred for the car.
17:59All right.
18:01Now.
18:02What?
18:02Now?
18:02Now?
18:03Now.
18:08Hello?
18:09He's no pussy, but...
18:10What?
18:10It's not possible for me.
18:12Please come.
18:12What is it?
18:13He's telling me.
18:13Please come.
18:14Look, I'm busy.
18:14He tell me I not know to make a paella.
18:18He tell me.
18:18You tell him.
18:19I tell him paella is a Spanish, not cockney, stinking eel pie.
18:23Right.
18:23I make the paella like my mama.
18:25I'm not interested.
18:26My mother's recipe is big in Barcelona.
18:28Go away.
18:29No, please.
18:29You come.
18:29You come.
18:30He call me ignorant, wog, mother boy, crump.
18:33Let go of me.
18:34Now look.
18:34Asshole?
18:35Yes.
18:36You tell Terry.
18:37Let you alone.
18:38Asshole?
18:38Yes, French.
18:39Go on.
18:39Go away.
18:41No, no.
18:41Not you.
18:42Not you.
18:42Big in Barcelona.
18:43Big, big.
18:44Are we supposed to come up now?
18:46Yes, in a moment.
18:48No, no, no.
18:49Come on up now.
18:50No.
18:50Yes, come on up.
18:51Yes, she's just, you know, touching up the worst bits.
18:54How is she feeling, Basil?
18:56Well, um, I woke her and told that you've come over and she's very, very pleased, of course,
19:00but she's very weak and her throat, you know, she has great difficulty expressing herself.
19:03Oh, dear.
19:05Makes a change.
19:09She'll be happy to see you in a moment.
19:10She's pretty quick with the old...
19:11Well, she's not bothering to make up for us, is she?
19:13Oh, no, no, no, no.
19:14Just, um, you know.
19:18She asked me to thank you and to say how very much she's looking forward to seeing you all.
19:23She can speak a little, then, can she, Basil?
19:28Um, not really, no.
19:29No, I see what you mean.
19:30No, she wrote that down, actually, on one of the, uh, postcards.
19:32You know, she keeps by the side of it.
19:34Did she stamp it?
19:39Basil, do you have an ashtray?
19:41Oh, yes, I'll just get one, Alice.
19:42Oh, Basil, don't...
19:42No, no, it's no bother.
19:43No, no, not at all.
19:44Just a second.
19:55Oh, Mr. Faldi.
19:56Mr. Faldi!
19:59He put mince in it!
20:00He put bloody mince in it!
20:02What have you done?
20:03Oh, sorry, sorry.
20:04Look, I tell him, paella, he's a feast.
20:07Go away, go away!
20:08What I do?
20:08Go away!
20:09Arriba, vamos!
20:13Well, this is fun, isn't it?
20:15Roger!
20:16No, I mean, who wants to go to the boozer or play golf when you can come to one of
20:19Basil's do's?
20:21Come on, Roger.
20:23It can't be easy for him with Sibyl lying there ill.
20:26Well, you know what I think about that?
20:28What?
20:29Shh!
20:31Oh, well, I brought some nuts.
20:33Oh, Basil, is it?
20:34If you could just take the ashtray or we don't...
20:36Oh, sorry.
20:37Never mind.
20:38I'll get some more, shall I?
20:39No, no, no, we've got the crisp.
20:41Are you sure?
20:41No, no, no, no, crisp will be lovely.
20:43Really?
20:43Oh, okay.
20:44Um, crisp, Alice?
20:46Oh, thank you.
20:47Arthur, would you like me?
20:48Not for me, thank you, darling.
20:48Kitty, would you like a crisp?
20:50Thank you, lovely.
20:50Just hold them around.
20:51Here, I'll just get a brush.
20:52A Basil brush.
20:55Broom, broom.
20:57Roger.
20:58What did you mean?
20:59Well, they've had a row.
21:00She's refused to come down.
21:02Roger.
21:03He's embarrassed her into seeing us.
21:05I'm not interested.
21:07I'm not interested.
21:09Yeah.
21:12Oh, don't you bother.
21:13Take it to me.
21:14Here we are.
21:15Right.
21:16Basil.
21:18Basil.
21:19Hmm?
21:20Perhaps she's ready now.
21:21Oh, yes.
21:22Uh, good idea.
21:23Yes, I'll just have a look.
21:25Right.
21:27It's not quite.
21:29Nearly.
21:32Anyone care for another crisp?
21:33Do you like?
21:34No.
21:36Have you got a choc ice?
21:39I'll put them there.
21:40You know, just help yourself.
21:41Nice carpet, Baz.
21:42Oh, thank you.
21:43Yes.
21:43A bit worn now.
21:44Oh, I thought that was part of the pattern.
21:47Nice paper, Basil.
21:48Oh, thank you, Alice.
21:49Yes, we got it together with the carpet, actually.
21:51Oh, with it.
21:51That's right, Roger.
21:52Yeah, well, one of them will have to go.
21:53My money's on the carpet.
21:55Please.
21:56You read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you, Roger?
21:57Yes.
21:58I don't know.
21:59I don't know if you've ever seen the moulding up there, but one of...
22:01Oh, dear.
22:02It's all right.
22:03It's all right.
22:03Don't worry.
22:04Don't worry.
22:04I'll clean it up.
22:05What time's the main feature?
22:07Morning, Paul.
22:07Hey.
22:08Lovely day for a round of golf.
22:10Morning, Major.
22:11Yes.
22:11Anyone care to make up a floor?
22:13No, no.
22:13We're going to see Sybil, Major.
22:15Ah, playing a match, is she?
22:17No, no.
22:17She's ill.
22:18Really quite ill.
22:18Oh, she should be in bed, you know.
22:20Yes, she is.
22:21We're going in to see her.
22:22Oh, another lot in there with her, is there?
22:25May I introduce Major Gowan, our oldest resident?
22:27I don't know if you know everyone.
22:29Good night.
22:29Good night.
22:30Good night.
22:30Welcome to Torquay.
22:32How do you feel, by the way?
22:34I'm well confused, sir.
22:35It's all right.
22:35She's ready now.
22:36Come on in.
22:37Yes, not you.
22:40Oh, Sybil.
22:42Hello, darling.
22:43Don't try and speak.
22:44The gang's here.
22:45I'm sorry you're not well.
22:46Such a shit.
22:47So we thought we'd come and wish you happy anniversary.
22:50Yes, happy anniversary.
22:51Happy anniversary.
22:52Oh, what's the matter?
22:52The bridge has fallen over.
22:53You all right, Reg?
22:54You've done my ankles.
22:55Oh, dear.
22:56You all right, Reg?
22:57Careful.
22:58It's so dark in here.
22:59Bloody light's not worth it.
23:01I can't help you.
23:02Who's that?
23:04Me.
23:04It's Kitty.
23:05Where are you, dear?
23:06Can't we have some light in here, Ben?
23:07Yes, all right.
23:08Hang on.
23:08Are you all right, dear?
23:10Here we are.
23:10I think so.
23:11Mind that, dear.
23:12OK.
23:13Now the light's on, we can see the screen.
23:15Oh, dear.
23:16Are you all right, Kitty?
23:17Yes, oh.
23:19You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble, Baz.
23:21Well, would you come on up here, OK?
23:23You both all right?
23:24Come on around there, OK?
23:25You can see her from there.
23:27Well, is everything all right, dear?
23:28Here she is.
23:30Hello, Sibyl.
23:31Oh, yeah.
23:32Oh, yes.
23:32There's something there.
23:33I don't see it moving.
23:34It's a bit dark, Basil.
23:36Yes, well, her eyes are very sensitive.
23:37She's got her glasses.
23:39Yes, well, I'll just draw the curtains.
23:40Yes, yes, yes.
23:41I know the idea.
23:42It's all right.
23:42Trust me.
23:43Trust me.
23:43Trust me.
23:44Trust me.
23:46There we are.
23:47Is that better?
23:48Happy anniversary.
23:50Happy anniversary anniversary.
23:50Happy anniversary anniversary.
23:52Oh, dear.
23:55How are you feeling, dear?
23:58Oh, that's a shame.
24:00You're very swollen.
24:04Her thighs.
24:05He brought you a cake.
24:07Oh, yes.
24:08Have a little bit, dear.
24:10Oh, have a little bit, dear.
24:11Go on.
24:12Oh, yes.
24:13All right.
24:13Well, 15 years, eh?
24:16Happy anniversary.
24:17Oh, well done.
24:19Well, well, well, well.
24:23Yes, well, I think she's feeling a little bit tired, though.
24:25There's all that waving and where anyone else.
24:27Yes, I'll do.
24:28That's really better all.
24:30What's in her mouth?
24:31That white stuff?
24:33Just foam, you know, from, uh, from the excitement.
24:3715 years, eh?
24:42What is it?
24:43What is it?
24:44I just remembered something.
24:45Downstairs.
24:46You stay here.
24:46Have a chat with Polly.
24:47Sybil, Sybil.
24:48I'll just shove him over.
24:50A chat?
24:51Does anyone know Semaphore?
24:57Hello, dear.
24:58I came back for my cabs, Basil and Nutstain.
25:00Oh, aren't you...
25:01OK.
25:03What?
25:04I'm sure you know best, dear.
25:05You don't even want me to, do you?
25:09Um...
25:09Oh, what's that?
25:1215 years I've been with you, when I think what I might have had.
25:1615 years.
25:17God.
25:19You want me to go, don't you?
25:21Oh, no, but you've obviously made your mind up, so...
25:24I won't forget this, Basil.
25:26Won't you do?
25:26No, I won't.
25:29I'm going now, Basil.
25:30I think it's best, don't you?
25:32All right, dear.
25:35Bye, Basil.
25:37Chirro, dear.
25:39Drive carefully, dear.
25:41Get well soon.
25:42Look after yourself.
25:43We'll have a little party when you're feeling better.
25:47You know, I don't like leaving you like this, dear.
25:50Let me just have a little feel.
25:53Just to see if...
25:54Now, now, now, now.
25:55Don't be frightened.
25:57No, I'm not going to hurt you.
25:59Now, just feel your glands, dear.
26:01Now, don't be silly, Sibyl.
26:04Just trust me.
26:05It's for your own good.
26:06Now, don't be silly.
26:07Ah!
26:08Oh!
26:09What's going on?
26:11She hit me, Basil.
26:13What?
26:14I was trying to examine her.
26:16She lashed out.
26:17Don't.
26:17Don't hit our friends.
26:19I know you're not feeling 100%.
26:20Control yourself.
26:21I'm sorry.
26:22She's not herself today.
26:22Don't worry.
26:23The doctor will be happy here soon.
26:24I'll give you a call.
26:25Tell you what he says.
26:25So, um, anyone care for another drink or...?
26:29No, no, no, no.
26:30We ought to be going.
26:31It's going out.
26:32OK.
26:32Right.
26:33Oh!
26:35They're all the same, dear.
26:38They're all the same.
26:39Believe me.
26:40Oh, I know.
26:42I know.
26:43Now, we're going to get all about it.
26:45We're going to have a nice game of golf and then go out to dinner.
26:49Did you get your clubs?
26:53I'm trying.
26:59Well, it's been nice to have seen you all.
27:01Thank you for coming over.
27:03No, not at all.
27:05We must do this more often, you know, when they're fit again.
27:07Yes, yes.
27:08Sorry about all the injuries.
27:09Still, um, you know, perhaps when Sybil's a bit better,
27:11we can all, um, get together and, you know, have a proper room.
27:20How extraordinary.
27:21We were just talking about you.
27:23Basil Fawlty.
27:23We met once at a fete.
27:24Let me show you where it is.
27:26How is the North?
27:27Have you been up there at all recently?
27:29What's it?
27:29God.
27:29You're not good shit!
27:33I would have to kill him, Mr. Fawlty.
27:35I would sound-fuckin' by you.
27:38Explain everything in a moment.
27:42What?
27:42I want my father like that.
27:44He's got married.
27:45He's got married.
27:48What a coincidence, sir.
27:49She's thinking of buying one of our fridges.
27:51Well, lovely to have seen you.
27:52I'm sorry about the ankle.
27:55Oh, I'm sorry.
27:56Yes, keep the head right back.
27:58Sorry, those are just fine.
28:01Great fab.
28:09Piece of cake.
28:10Now comes the tricky bit.
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