- 4 months ago
Watch Top Gear Season 2, Episode 1 as Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and newcomer James May test cars, tackle challenges, and set the tone for a legendary season
featuring car reviews of the Smart Roadster, Bowler Wildcat and Bentley T2, plus Vinnie Jones as the celebrity guest in the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car segment.
featuring car reviews of the Smart Roadster, Bowler Wildcat and Bentley T2, plus Vinnie Jones as the celebrity guest in the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car segment.
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TVTranscript
00:00On tonight's Top Gear, Richard Hammond in a V8 tumble dryer.
00:07The classiest way to bankrupt yourself.
00:11And we turn up the heat on the world's dullest car.
00:20Hello, and may I say how nice it is to be back.
00:23Push the tempo, push the tempo.
00:26Push the tempo, push the tempo, push the tempo.
00:31And it's not all big, expensive tyre shredding
01:00stuff either. There's a trend towards small, affordable, fun cars. Stuff that looks good
01:06at four miles an hour in a traffic jam. I mean, take this Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet
01:11as a prime example, okay? I mean, it's not the fastest car in the world. Not even the
01:16fastest car in this part of the studio, to be honest. And the roof folding arrangement
01:20is a bit unfortunate. But it has four seats, it costs £15,000, and look at it. And then
01:29does the Ford Streetcar. Now, this has a top speed of 12.5 miles an hour. But that's okay,
01:36because it only costs 12.5p. The most intriguing car, though, is that. It's the smart roadster.
01:46Now, some cars are rock and roll. Some cars are the 1812 Overture. This is a pop video.
01:54In the trendiest parts of the trendiest postcodes of the trendiest city in Britain, this car
02:24looks sensational.
02:32And because it's only £13,500, no-one thinks you're a rich git. It's the kind of car that
02:39makes people go, ah, rather than, ugh.
02:44The thing is, though, if fashion accessories are going to work, they have to have a real-world
02:53application. A watch, for example, it's no good at it just being pretty, it has to work
02:57in space. A Range Rover has to work on an Alp, even if you live in Kettering. A training
03:02shoe has to work in the gym, even if you never get out of the pub. So it's no good the smart
03:08being all winky-dinky in Camden. If it's going to have any street cred whatsoever, it has
03:14to work out here.
03:18It's got to be a proper sports car. So is it.
03:33On paper, things don't look brilliant. It may make all the right growly noises. But it's
03:40powered by a three-cylinder, 600cc engine. My Moulinex Magimix has a bigger motor than
03:47that.
03:48Sure, the smart has a turbocharger, but you still only get 80 brake horsepower. So this,
03:54then, is not a fast car. In fact, it has exactly the same top speed as Henry VIII.
04:05In terms of acceleration, you go from 0 to 60, but only just. I tried timing it, but after
04:1611 seconds, I got bored.
04:32Then you've got the six-speed sequential Formula One-style gearbox, which operates exactly like
04:39one of those new-fangled digital cameras. You know, where you push the button and then,
04:4310 seconds later, just as your subject moves away, it takes the picture. Ready? Foot down.
04:50And here we go. Useless!
04:58It rather looks, then, like the smart roadster misses the sports car mark by 100 miles.
05:06However, have a look at this. Push a button, and the middle part of the roof slides back
05:13electrically into a little cubby hole in the engine compartment. And then, I simply take
05:21these out, and obviously the same on the other side, and we've got a full convertible. However,
05:27the weather today is a bit too British, so if you don't mind, I'm just going to, um...
05:34I'll just pop it back.
05:36See ya.
05:38There's more good stuff, too. This car may not be fast, but it feels so much more alive
05:56than any million horsepower heavyweight BMW. I wanted to hate it. I wanted to laugh at its
06:05pathetic performance and call it a wet fraud, but it's so responsive and such a giggle that
06:12it just puts an enormous smile on your face. It's fantastic!
06:19I like the styling. I like the interior. I like the traction control and the CD player
06:32and the air conditioning. I like the way these dials sprout out of the dashboard. And I love
06:37the space. I mean, I'm not small, but look. Look at that. About four inches of headroom there.
06:43Oh, and there's something else. Remember who it is that makes smarts.
06:50You can buy one of these things and tell people that you drive a mid-engined, rear-wheel drive,
06:58turbo-charged, convertible Mercedes-Benz. Mercedes own smarts. They may make them in France, but this is a Mercedes.
07:07And there's more. It's cheap to insure, it does 40 miles to the gallon, and it costs almost nothing to replace those plastic body panels if you crash.
07:20Not that it goes fast enough to have a crash.
07:25So, it works. It's a fashion accessory, it's a piece of automotive jewellery, and it's just like those light, whizzy sports cars from the 50s and 60s, Austin Heelys, Triumph TRs and MGs and so on.
07:38It's a proper, undiluted sports car.
07:43I wouldn't buy one. I thought you liked it. I do. But, I'm going to outline now a few problems, okay? We'll start with the boot.
07:56There isn't one. I mean, there isn't one. It's under air. No, there's no point looking. That's your lot. It's basically a sort of baking tray above the engine, really.
08:04It's okay if you've got a handful of roast potatoes to carry around with you, but otherwise, useless.
08:10Yeah.
08:11However, look at this. This is the Smart Roadster Coupe. Same engine, same roof arrangement, same everything, but if we open the back...
08:22Ah.
08:23...enough space for a whole sack full of King Edwards.
08:26Well, there you go, then. That's your car. What's your problem?
08:28No, I won't buy one of these, either.
08:30That's because.
08:31I'll tell you why, okay? You can buy one of these, left-hand drive, in Britain. You don't have to go to Germany or Luxembourg for it. Left-hand drive for less than £10,000.
08:41It's not quite as powerful as the British ones, and you don't get quite so many toys, but why are we paying half as much again to have the steering wheel on our side, the right side, the proper side?
08:52I mean, I love the car. I just don't like being ripped off by Germans.
08:56It's made in France. It's made in France.
08:59Yeah, Vichy France.
09:01The thing for me is still that gearbox. It's just hopeless. You know, the moment it builds up, the revs rise, you hit the lever and...
09:09Oh, well, pauses with you and waits. Nothing happens. For so long.
09:13I know. The thing is, it's a gearbox. Okay? It has one job to do. One job.
09:18Exactly.
09:19Pull the lever. Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power state? Am I a gearbox? Oh, heavens, I've swapped some cogs around. It takes forever.
09:30Precise. It's not like it's working through a list. And the problem is, you're going to be using it a lot, because obviously, that buzzy little 600cc engine, you're changing gear all the time to do that.
09:37I was wrong. Admission time. It's actually a 700cc engine. Oh, well.
09:42Makes all the difference. It's 0.7 of a litre.
09:45Yeah, that is still very small, and it still has Hugh Grant as a gearbox. Yeah.
09:50It's a pity, really, because we like the smart, but we think not. And that gives us another problem. Because, you see, you can't have the Volkswagen Beetle either. And let me explain why. Okay?
10:04Now, with most convertibles, the windscreen is sort of here. But this is like a convertible people carrier. It's got this huge dashboard that people can play football on. You need binoculars to see if the wipers are working.
10:19And that leaves us with the Ford Streetcar. Now, it is a very, very good little car. It does everything it sets out to do, and it does it very well. But you cannot possibly drive this car if you're a man.
10:33Seriously? Look, there's a man in the car, and he's clearly wearing a dress. Is he not?
10:42Are there any men here who would think of buying this car? Precisely. Would you? Anyone? No.
10:48Okay, now, this being a Top Gear audience, you're all car enthusiasts, so now you haven't got wives or girlfriends. So you brought your sisters with you. What about the girls?
10:57Hands up, all the girls who would like to have this car.
11:00Oh, it's sort of, that's why. Are there any girls who wouldn't? You. Well, put your hand up, then. It's not a difficult instruction.
11:08It's the trouble, brothers and sisters, they're all related.
11:11I was talking the other day to a guy from Ford. I don't know who he was, wore a suit, had biscuits in meetings.
11:18Anyway, he said 80% of these are going to be sold to women. So who's going to buy the other 20%?
11:26So, what does a bloke do if he wants to buy a two-seater open-top sports car? He does what he's been doing for the last 14 years and buys a Mazda MX-5.
11:37Anyway, the cool wall. Where do these cars go? And remember, this is nothing to do with dodgy gearboxes or value for money. It's just how cool we think the cars are.
11:48First of all, the VW Beetle convertible. Now, that is, undeniably, I say, a cool car. As long as you don't mind looking like an alien.
11:54Put it higher than that, actually.
11:57Higher? No, up there.
12:00No, actually, I'll tell you what, move it into uncool.
12:03Um, I kind of like it there, personally.
12:06Oh, okay.
12:07Um, the streetcar. Well, yeah, it is very much not a car for a bloke, but nevertheless, it is a cool car.
12:13We all agreed on that? Yes.
12:15We all agreed, it's cool. So that leaves us with the smart car.
12:19Anyone got any thoughts?
12:21Sub-zero.
12:22Oh, yes.
12:23Hold on a minute, we think what?
12:24Sub-zero.
12:25Sub-zero, why?
12:26It's, it's the coolest car here.
12:28The, the, smart is?
12:30Easily.
12:31Good man. Where is it going?
12:32Uncool.
12:33Uncool?
12:34Sub-zero.
12:35Sub-zero, you're right, you're wrong, I'm always right. It's going there, because I know everything.
12:40Always right.
12:41Yeah.
12:42No everything.
12:43Yeah.
12:44Last series, you put the Renault Avantime, in fact, it's still there, sub-zero, there it is, in fact, as far as you can go.
12:49How many do you think they sold?
12:51Millions.
12:52Well, a benchmark, the Ford Focus, last year, they sold, over 12 months, 150,000.
12:58Now, all right, that is a big volume car lots of people buy them, it won't be that big a number.
13:02How many Renault Avantime do you think they sold?
13:05Give me some numbers.
13:06Seven.
13:07Seven.
13:08Be sensible, it's a car, it has millions of pounds to develop.
13:1012, 2,000, yeah.
13:11Well, I'll say 2,000, it's a little adventurous, Jeremy.
13:132,000.
13:142,000.
13:15Well, I don't know, 1,500.
13:16I'll tell you how many they sold, 263.
13:20But, bear in mind, they have 70 dealers who can sell those things.
13:24Now, assuming they would all have had one to put in the showroom, so knock 70 off, I make that 193.
13:30That's so disastrous, they've stopped making it, Jeremy.
13:33So that, I think, shows...
13:34So it's gone.
13:35It doesn't even exist anymore.
13:37It's gone from our board.
13:39Yeah.
13:40No!
13:41Sorry.
13:42Actually, I don't care, because I've had a new idea while we've been off the air.
13:48And it's this.
13:49It's the Top Gear love and hate board.
13:51The love section's already full.
13:53Kristen Scott Thomas and Terry Thomas, full of Thomases.
13:55It's this bit we're most interested in.
13:58This is the hate section.
13:59It's things we hate, like stereos that have a chummy greeting when you turn them on.
14:05Why?
14:06Why does it have to say hello?
14:07I just wanted to play Terry Wogan.
14:09Other things we hate, obviously, paddle shifts, semi- those semi-automatic gearboxes like Formula One,
14:17personalised registration plates, yes, we really hate those.
14:22Now, I was thinking the other day about stuff that I hate, and I came up with a list.
14:27Ooh, a man can never have too many lists.
14:29Exactly.
14:30So, I made up a list of my top five worst cars ever.
14:34That's a good one.
14:35It is a good one.
14:36It's a good one.
14:37It's a good- worst car ever.
14:38It's a good poser.
14:39Well, here's my list, okay?
14:40Mm-hmm.
14:41In fifth place is the AMC Pacer.
14:43Yeah.
14:44Look at that.
14:45What a moose.
14:46Ooh, that is a moose.
14:47Interestingly, the doors on opposite sides aren't even the same length.
14:51And number four is the Peel.
14:53What was particularly good about the Peel is it only had one headlamp.
14:58It did.
14:59So, if you're driving down a road and you saw one coming toward, you think,
15:01that's a motorbike.
15:02Jesus!
15:03Come on!
15:04Yeah.
15:05In third place, where we are now, yeah, the Vauxhall Vectra.
15:08Obviously, yeah.
15:09I've said.
15:10In second place, the Suzuki X-19.
15:13I remember road testing that on old Top Gear, and we filmed it all at night,
15:17because I didn't want people to see me in it.
15:18Absolutely.
15:19A fearsome thing.
15:20In first place, well, it's a big question, this.
15:24My worst car ever.
15:25And I got to think, what are we actually looking for?
15:27Well, some drizzle, really.
15:29The car equivalent of drizzle.
15:31No.
15:32Because there's something happening.
15:34When it's drizzling, there's something going on.
15:35We're looking for worse than that.
15:37It's like those days when you open the door and you walk out, and there is no weather.
15:42There is only one car that can manage that.
15:45And it's this.
15:46The Nissan Sony.
15:48I don't know where to start.
15:50I mean, there are uglier cars, and there are worse cars to drive.
15:54But that's the whole point.
15:56It's their badness that gives them character.
15:58This, this commits the worst crime of all.
16:01Blandness.
16:02God gave us probably celery as the benchmark of nothingness.
16:08And then amazingly, mankind improved on that with this thing.
16:14I hesitate even to call it an abomination.
16:18It doesn't have the personality.
16:19Forget redeeming features.
16:21It doesn't have any features.
16:23And here's another thing I don't get.
16:26Dragsters.
16:27I mean, yeah, it's got a very big engine.
16:29Well, it's a jet engine, in fact.
16:31And yeah, it will do 0 to 200 miles an hour in 3.8 seconds.
16:36But it'll struggle to better 100 gallons to the mile.
16:39And every time you want to get into it, you've got to split it in half.
16:43And I don't think it's even got a reverse gear.
16:45Mind you, they do have one useful feature.
16:49Get him working.
16:50Get him working.
16:52Get him working.
16:53Get him back, get him back.
17:06Shit!
17:07fantastic now bear in mind we do have kind of a theme going this evening jeremy's been looking
17:33at the smart roasters small cars cheap thrills is the kind of feel now that dragster did burn
17:38about a hundred quid's worth of fuel doing that and that's about the best hundred quid i think
17:43you can possibly now footballers the time was not that i know much about it when it was a great game
17:50the men were men and then the wall they stood like that protecting the important things in life
17:55now it's this oh my hair my hair and i just had it done however my guest tonight is from those
18:02olden days he would drive a large mercedes to a fight and occasionally during that fight a game
18:08of football might break out he's now an actor and he's got his own fly on the wall documentary series
18:15ladies and gentlemen vinnie jones
18:17how are you have a seat
18:25now as i understand it you still hold the world record for being sent off in a game of football
18:37don't you because it's five seconds wasn't it yeah this was i ran on and it was like a minute
18:43no you've done it in five seconds that's quicker than i know about a second i'll say yeah one second
18:48came on yeah you see i'm intrigued not being a footballist i have to admit how do you reach an
18:53opposing player to commit some kind of atrocity in that time because if they blew the whistle i'd need
18:59a minute and a half to get i sort of worked it out that as the ref looked at both uh goalkeepers as
19:06he put the whistle to his mouth i set off so as he actually blew i was crossing the line at full speed
19:12and when they knocked it to each other and then the whites of their eyes saw me coming at them it
19:16was quite hilarious it's just such it's like blow the whistle now you need jones book now yeah
19:22it's such an achievement anyway let's talk about your driving days um what was your first car i came
19:28back from sweden actually and and i had a bit of money from playing in sweden and sign for for wimbledon
19:33i bought a red cortina oh yeah which mark four a mark four and uh in them days wimbledon obviously
19:40were very basic and myself dave besant and the physio we went there and of course i wanted to
19:46drive and we took the the the team kit with us and we get to the chelsea gates and they're saying
19:51no you're not coming i said well i'm one of the players and by the time he had finished telling us
19:56we couldn't come in it had overeated and just and there was the smoke and everything was coming
20:02through the vents the light was hilarious so we ended up pushing it down the the ramp taking the
20:07kit out pushing it in the car park and and it stayed there i don't know what happened to the
20:11old red court probably still because they've already done chelsea yeah i'm sure ken bates has probably
20:15nicked it well have a look for him running around in it you're over in america a lot obviously these
20:22days do they have the first idea what you are who you are well they i sort of get more
20:29credibility or they come and talk to you when they realize that you as a footballer you know
20:35they can sell you as they call you soccer player yeah so yeah because you've got i mean nick cage
20:40you were in uh gone in 60 seconds good car film yeah um is he a car nut yeah he used to come he used
20:48to be quite funny he's come down to work come come on the set and he'd come and say he's bentley
20:52and then a ferrari would turn up and then a great big motorbike would turn up and he'd come home and
20:57and then when we'd finished filming for him to go home he'd stand there and it was like going oh
21:02and we he actually went on his motorbike one day and we were pulling out and we tried to
21:06follow him up to um up the uh motorway and he was just gone on the motorbike but it must be great
21:12for him you know with the crash helmet on yeah no one knows he is and lock stock of course started it
21:17all didn't it yeah because you never see the very famous scene of you with the car door yeah what was
21:24going through your head when you were doing that because this is your first i can't say it on air
21:30i'd probably whisper it sued again the thing is though we were thinking that p6 big heavy doors in
21:37those days yeah good for smashing a man's head in modern cars we're not so sure actually so can you just
21:44pass us our prop i think the windows would go now on them exactly we've had imagine this it's like
21:49we'll see day of the jackal okay now if you could come with me vinnie because what i want you to do
21:54is try and smash this in the door of one of our cars come with me down here everyone gather around
22:01we're going to this smart car oh which is made of plastic okay i'll go back is it what hasn't got
22:08on it yeah it has what i'd like you to do is famously reenact the scene if you go on the other
22:12should put it in from the other side that it was actually a block of wood in lock stock well it's
22:16a watermelon in this right it's also very much on yeah yeah right here we go okay ready yeah here we go
22:33so a little bit of um the day of the jackal little bit of lock stock little bit of top gear all in
22:41one um now of course you haven't just come here to can you hang on to that cheers mate um do the
22:48garden mate exactly go to the garden you haven't just come here to smash watermelons to pieces
22:53obviously yeah you've uh you come to do a lap on our track you went with the steg obviously what was
22:58that like yeah um when the back side stops retracting i'll let you know on that one he is quick isn't
23:04he okay but it is time now to see how you got on in your lap this is the uh the power board okay
23:11i just want to beat jonathan ross i've got to beat ross jonathan ross 1 minute 57 you could have
23:16strolled mate shall we see how he got on the star in the reasonably priced car play it
23:25nice star cheers come on it looks very slow it seemed a lot faster than i was doing it
23:32no well it is a suzuki liana it's not a fast car this is the bit though you can scrub speed off here
23:40if you lose speed here you'll never get it back all the way up the main straight
23:45this is this is the home bit this little uh this little bender this is where everyone goes off how
23:50do you how do you manage you kept it on the island and that was where michael gambon nearly rolled it
23:59and you're across the line
24:07seemed a bit slow i think i've been told the time you want to be faster than jonathan ross yeah
24:14i pity jonathan ross if you aren't faster than i think you will not let me vinnie jay one minute 50
24:2351 53 53 so you're in there faster than ross
24:30ladies and gentlemen vinnie jones
24:32um now this being a new series of top gear we thought we'd try out a new presenter okay he's
24:48called james may and on the evidence of what we're about to see he is a blithering idiot
25:02one day probably in the dentist you'll find yourself leafing idly through the small ads in
25:12the back of a classic car magazine and you'll probably think to yourself yeah all that money
25:17i spent on a ford mondeo could have been used to buy something really interesting like mark 2
25:23inspector more style jag for example an old porsche 911 there are quite a few old porsche 911s in here
25:30look you could even have a bentley
25:37mind you you'd have to be a complete idiot to buy one of those
25:43this one's mine
25:47it's a t2 pretty much the cheapest bentley money can buy
25:52you can pick one of these up for seven or eight grand but don't because for that money it's going
25:56to be a complete bag of bowls this though is a good one it cost 14 grand but it's got a full
26:03service history all the parts are genuine there's no rust no filler and no evidence of bodged repairs
26:11now 14 grand's top dollar for one of these but that's still only the price of the most basic mondeo
26:17unlike the mondeo though the bentley shouldn't depreciate a mondeo is a disposable item but a
26:23bentley's it's a bentley so why do i like it then well i like this wood someone's taken a lot of care
26:32over that i like the view i like that strip of crown down the bonnet and the weird wing b thing
26:37down at the end and i like the sort of daftness of it i mean the light switch is there fair enough
26:43but the key goes here and the windscreen wipers are here i'd expect the windscreen wipers to be here
26:49but this is actually the gear stick and the handbrake's down here it's all wrong and i love that
27:00somewhere up front is a huge 6.75 liter v8 engine but when you put your foot down
27:09nothing happens you get a bit more noise and it might go a little bit faster but on the whole it's
27:13a complete waste of time you might as well just relax handling i've got furniture that handles better
27:22than this thing watch absolutely nothing so it's rubbish to drive i'm going slower than you and yes
27:32i look like a failed porn star but i am in my own bentley
27:37right then a bentley for mondeo money
27:48some of you are pretty tempted by this idea but hang on i haven't told you how it ruined my life
27:54yet i said this car doesn't depreciate but big deal who really cares about depreciation anyway it's just
28:02something that goes on all the time when you're in the pub or in bed it's not something that hurts
28:07you every day for that you need a bentley every time i go near this thing it kicks me in the head and
28:13runs off with my wallet it costs 80 quid to fill up and does 15 miles to the gallon if i drive like an
28:20undertaker i have to rent a king-size garage to keep it in and it takes up two tokens at the jet wash
28:27okay servicing only costs about the same as it does for a mid-size bmw but it has to go in three
28:33times as often which is why my mechanic buys his overalls from gucci while i sit at home eating gruel
28:43cheap thrills you want to try this it's bloody terrifying
28:47it seems to me you could have done that film a lot shorter than that yes it's um
29:01for the money you spend on a basic monday you could buy an old bentley like i did don't exactly
29:06don't go anywhere near it it's a stupid idea isn't it it is it's fine as a hobby but this is my only
29:11car you don't even have another car i don't have another car well how many sacrifices do you have to
29:15make um going for a curry having mates having a proper car in any form of life and presumably
29:24it won't fit in your garage since you live in london no well actually that's not quite true the first
29:2812 feet fit in the garage magnificently even though i can't actually get out of the car but then there
29:34are two feet on the pavement yeah you don't want that and then the last three feet are on the road and
29:39get a parking ticket and if i put the hope of the whole car on the road you have to pay the council
29:44tax obviously because it's a house really it is the thing is is it's not my sort of car but then we
29:51do differ that's why i like it yeah exactly you just look at what i say and go he's wrong i looked
29:56in auto trader and i thought what wouldn't jeremy buy out of all these cars that one yeah i respect
30:01that in a man i really do you said in the film you have to rent a garage yeah well how far away
30:07i don't know seven miles or so you rent a garage seven miles from your house how do you get there
30:17on my folding bicycle obviously you are mad you're just clinically insane running a car like this
30:26i think you may be missing an essential point though jeremy but this is the one with the firm
30:32suspension no is it really yeah the t is for firm suspension got something rather preposterously
30:37called the harvey bailey handling kit harvey bailey didn't know anything about suspension either by
30:41the looks of it despite all that i think well let's say of all the cars in this studio this one is
30:49actually the cheapest no it's not the smart cheaper that's 30 500 pounds cheaper you can have a smart
30:54okay well which doesn't do this this would have been cheaper this would have been cheaper if i'd not
30:59felt sorry for the bloke who was selling it and haggled a bit more that's a british disease it is a
31:03british disease why very very sorry for him yeah am i right in saying this car is so cool
31:10that most people by which i mean jeremy don't realize it yet yeah hands up if you think it's a cool car
31:17yes that's one two three and on that bombshell let's do the news shall we a news first of two
31:26hot new peugeots the first of them is the new 206 gti it's 180 brake horsepower it's quite a lot in a
31:33small car 14 995 quid which isn't bad that is a hot little car the second one i can't quite understand
31:42this it's a 206 it's another gti it's only the 138 brake horsepower one slightly less powerful
31:47but you'll notice it's an estate and a tiny estate car now that to me is pointless more than that it's
31:55a tragedy i just can't see why you'd need that in your life that's what the french call idiotic yes
32:02don't get it don't like it i like it why i like it because the 206 is a good car we all agreed yeah it's
32:09good sure six is a good car you put a peppy little engine in it and a space for your dog no no no no no
32:15you could get your dog in a hatchback oh you can't what if you've got a big dog it won't go in a 206
32:20no hang on hang on a dog is for life if you've got a big dog already you specify a big estate car a volvo
32:28yeah if you've already got a small car you get a small dog like one of those mutant things that comes
32:34third at crux my point is is that if you had a dog and you needed the space i think that's great not
32:41if you're british because we like dogs yes but actually it's a french car and they can get a red
32:47setter in the back of a renault 5 and they crush it in so so tightly that it actually looks like a
32:54photograph of a dog stuck on the window rather than a real dog inside the car i consider myself outvoted
33:00then perzo 206 gti estate silly car very silly car new cars since we've been off air renault kangoo
33:09anyone interested in that i am i am 9 100 pounds it's a van with windows a bit like the citroen
33:16bollingo a little bit more expensive than the bollingo for reasons that aren't immediately apparent
33:21quite like those cars actually they're all right um saab 93 convertible basically they've taken a tin
33:28opener to the 9 through which i think i'm right in saying is a vector you're the big expert on this
33:32line is it a it is a vector but it's got a saab badge on it right so if you want to slightly more
33:37rounded bits yeah convertible vauxhall vector there you are i don't think why um nah all those people
33:45who write in and say you're only interested in expensive cars you're damn right the new lamborghini
33:50this has got a v10 5 liter i'm gonna have to go to the laboratory if i have to say v10 5 liter engine
33:58again 500 brake horsepower fantastic looking thing it's going to be on sale in britain i think later
34:03this year uh prices are anticipated to be around 120 000 pounds so it will be competing with the ferrari
34:12360 and actually if the if it's big brother the uh murcia largo is anything to go by that will be
34:20because they're owned by audi now aren't they that will be a stonking good car i think they're going
34:25to have a problem with that we've had this mystery facts okay came to the office some telephone numbers
34:33and a picture yes what would you say that was it's a lotus esprit yeah anybody else
34:41there's a spree yeah now this has actually come from the manufacturer when you reach from lotus
34:47when you ring the number they will say to you what's that picture that's going to on your fax
34:52machine and you'll say that's the lotus is spree and the reason they're doing that is because they
34:56want to prove that this is their shape and then copyright it how can they do that well i don't well
35:02we can ensure they don't okay if you get one of these on your fax machine ring the number and when
35:08they say what's that picture you say that's a piece of double gloucester
35:15that way every time somebody buys a ferrari or a lotus or what was the other one a lamborghini or
35:21indeed a seat if they ever get around to building this thing it's more money in royalties for britain's
35:27beleaguered cheese makers good news for you good points good point right quick question for you how
35:34much do you reckon this f-355 is worth give me some figures what do you reckon 80 90 60 40 none of
35:42those i'll tell you how much it's worth it's worth about 20 grand this is our cheap thrills program
35:47there'll be no room for a ferrari on that this isn't a ferrari this is actually a toyota mr2 that's
35:54been made to look almost exactly like an f-355 and the interesting thing is the bloke who built this
36:01once he'd turned his toyota mr2 into a ferrari replica rang his insurance company well they said
36:07that is now classed as a kit car so his insurance premium went down from 1200 quid to 300 quid so
36:14there's a cheap thrill but there is a problem and it links back to what james was saying about
36:19copywriting cheese and it's this ferrari aren't likely to be too pleased about somebody copying their
36:26shape in fact they'll probably go after the bloke who built it so he's disappeared he's escaped to
36:34the midlands underground today wanted by the italians he still survives as a soldier of fortune
36:42but if you want one if you need his help and if you can find it maybe you can buy this replica
36:50right now for this program i was asked to find a fun car for not much money and i failed completely
37:11this is the bowler wildcat nice name it's based on a land rover but it has one key element that's
37:21missing from normal land rovers speed an aston martin db7 will go from 0 to 60 miles an hour in 4.9
37:29seconds this will do it in 4.8 it does cost 50 grand
37:48but everything's relative this is the best off-roader in the world
37:53and it's road legal
38:02so how has a sheep lugger from surly hull been turned into an off-road ferrari
38:08the bowler wildcats are built by two brothers in derbyshire and instead of the usual standard heavy
38:13chassis they use a race car style space frame that takes three weeks just to weld together these body
38:20panels fiberglass the engine is a five liter 300 brake horsepower land rover tvr hybrid v8 and the interior
38:29well
38:32there isn't one but you know you just don't care you just don't
38:3850 grand might sound like a lot of money for a car that started life as a land rover you could buy a bmw m5
38:58for that money but think about it a lot of manufacturers claim to have a racing pedigree
39:07but you couldn't turn up at the mall in your m5 for your ferrari for that matter where you could buy
39:14a bmw wildcat and the next day be on the start line of the parry dakar now scary
39:21the suspension is made by bowler and it is of course fully adjustable the spec list includes fia spent
39:39fuel tanks an integrated fire extinguisher and best of all our onboard water supply for desert racing
39:51the power from that five liter half cdr half land rover v8 just eating the world it's incredible
40:07this is fast in a whole new way
40:21oh yes yes how can anything survive this including me this moment now second third
40:35that's the most fun i've ever had in a car but i tell you you can only do so much of it
40:55we haven't even started yet thanks that's jim wheeler he races this he's raced everything else
41:02and now he's racing this oh good i'm gonna put my helmet on
41:13i drove it fast but jim took it to another level this was a truly epic ride incredible and most
41:21incredible of all was just how the machinery could stand this kind of punishment
41:27what does it do to you inside
41:29uh i just launched a lung nitalin
41:35of course they tested the bowler in computer simulations it simply outpaced the computer
41:51after a 40 foot drop onto its nose in the desert nothing nothing happened you could stand 10 tonne
41:59weights on its roof and nothing would happen nothing at all
42:09do you know it's not just a cheap thrill at 50 grand it's a bargain because it really is a supercar
42:17more than that it's a supercar that's virtually indestructible
42:28that was i think we're all agreed a fantastic film yes brilliant and a brilliant car as well
42:34but there's just one tiny little bit of it i want to see again may we
42:38what a feeling i am a driving god
42:45i am a driving god
42:50when you take a dog for a walk you i am a dog walking god
42:56it was a big moment it's like being in a cartoon in that thing and yes
43:00you got carried away i got very carried away okay i'm not a driving god all right it was a mistake
43:06to make that claim but i do know someone who is a driving god to find out how the bowler would
43:13do on the fearsome top gear test track ladies and gentlemen please welcome his holiness the stig
43:21so it's off the line with a bit of wheel spin there from all four wheels remember this thing does
43:250 to 60 in 4.8 seconds i wonder what the stig's going to be listening to oh dear oh my word
43:35does it get much worse than that that is grizzly right it's into chicago now and by the looks of it
43:43there he's lost it and that no oh no he's kept it all together just listen to that v8 clearly clearly
43:49the stig isn't there look there's a it's into the hammerhead and it's there's a bit of body roll
43:54starting there the stig is really pushing this thing as hard as it's going to go the real test
43:58ahead now of course he's going to be coming up to the follow through soon and the bowler i don't
44:03know whether is it going to roll it looks surprisingly solid through there actually very little body
44:08roll 300 horsepower now belting out onto the straight he's got what just two bends to go now
44:15and again oh my that is on the edge he's got gambon corner ahead of him and he's gone off road which
44:21is appropriate i suppose and he crosses the line in one minute is it up here 39.4 there you go now hold
44:31on a second for it's not hard to be a driving god frankly in a car that slow now look for for a car like
44:40that that 50 000 pound car i think that is pretty impressive actually i'll grant you it is impressive
44:47i was going to argue it's in the script i should argue with you but i'm not going to because i love
44:52that car anyway that's it for this evening actually no it's not that isn't it because it seems the
44:58driving god has more to say at this point what is it driving god things i wish i'd never said because
45:04earlier on you may remember that nissan sunny that i toasted well while we have the jet dragster there it
45:11seemed a shame to burn just one thing i hate
45:30so
45:41have you got anything else to burn no that's it that's it all finished okay we can end next week
45:54the show is all about luxury spells with two g's in the middle so pull up your park and i'll crack open
46:01some lambrusco and settle down for a story we've got on the new rolls-royce we've got something on one
46:06of the queen's cars and we set out to find britain's fastest political party see you then good night
46:19and there's more in two weeks time that's because next week is part of bbc prime's 10th birthday
46:23celebrations the top 50 places to see around the world for next tonight what makes tinseltown tick
46:36and there's more in two weeks to see around the world for next week
46:41and there's more in two weeks to see around the world for next week
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