- 5 months ago
📺 Stream Episode 7 of Top Gear Season 1 now – full-length, high quality!
Join the Top Gear trio as they dive deep into high-speed tests, luxury reviews, and hilarious studio antics.
🚗 Featured segments:
Jeremy Clarkson gets behind the wheel of the Bentley Arnage T, a powerhouse wrapped in British elegance.
Richard Hammond explores the affordability of second-hand luxury cars.
Jason Dawe gives tips on used car buying during the holiday season.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Harry Enfield joins the crew for a memorable lap and banter.
🎯 Keywords:
Top Gear Season 1 Episode 7 full, Bentley Arnage T review, Jeremy Clarkson 2002, Top Gear luxury cars, used car tips, Harry Enfield Top Gear, British car show classics
Join the Top Gear trio as they dive deep into high-speed tests, luxury reviews, and hilarious studio antics.
🚗 Featured segments:
Jeremy Clarkson gets behind the wheel of the Bentley Arnage T, a powerhouse wrapped in British elegance.
Richard Hammond explores the affordability of second-hand luxury cars.
Jason Dawe gives tips on used car buying during the holiday season.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Harry Enfield joins the crew for a memorable lap and banter.
🎯 Keywords:
Top Gear Season 1 Episode 7 full, Bentley Arnage T review, Jeremy Clarkson 2002, Top Gear luxury cars, used car tips, Harry Enfield Top Gear, British car show classics
Category
🚗
MotorTranscript
00:00More Top Gear this Tuesday night on BBC Prime.
00:03To come, a real insight into teenage life, the minds and bodies of the teen species next.
00:09I learn how to drive a Lotus Elise properly.
00:14And it's religious racing as we find the fastest faith.
00:22So it's a riot of fun and games, but the theme of the show tonight is the environment.
00:30Yeah, I know, but you see, the thing is, what we're going to try and do is balance our love of the car with a need to be green.
00:38And that's why we, earlier this week, put a camera over the M4 bus lane to try and work out what it's for.
00:46I mean, obviously, the government must have done research. They must have worked out there was a need for it.
00:51Obviously. I mean, you wouldn't put all the cars in those two lanes.
00:54That would be the work of a madman to do that, unless there were lots of buses.
01:00Well, there we are.
01:01We're going to play this throughout the show, and if any one of you sees a bus coming along, do shout out, OK?
01:08Feel free. OK, good.
01:10Yeah. OK.
01:12Well, while we're waiting...
01:14What?
01:16Well, there is something.
01:17There is something coming, and it's a bit small.
01:22That's not a bus, that's an ambulance.
01:23False alarm!
01:23Yes, that is. Yeah, it is. Panic down, but be ready, OK?
01:26While we are waiting to spot a bus, this is the new Saab 9.3.
01:30It is a competitor for the Audi A4 and the BMW 3 Series.
01:34But because it's a Saab, because it's Swedish, it's that bit more cuddly, more friendly than those more aggressive German competitors.
01:42And that makes it the perfect car to look at in tonight's caring-sharing Top Gear.
01:46But don't worry, there's going to be no nonsense with spinning wheels or any of that, because I'm going to drive this in an eco-friendly manner.
01:52This 2-litre T model may have 175 horsepower and do 0-60 in 8.5 seconds, but don't worry, because I'm going to travel to work following the government's official guidelines on commuting in an eco-friendly manner.
02:22We should, and I quote, steady our speed.
02:34They suggest 50 miles an hour as being the most economical, and in fact, it probably is.
02:38Righty-ho, and then 50 miles an hour, it is.
02:40And it's not bad at 50 miles an hour.
02:53It's quite a firm ride, but sportily so.
02:56It's not unpleasant.
02:58That's not very economical.
02:59He's going quickly.
02:59Now, all right, the Saab does share a lot of its bits and pieces with the Vauxhall Vectra, but they have put their own engines in and their own suspension setup.
03:08It's not the sharpest feeling piece of kit, but you do get a solid premium car feel, and that's what it's about, and that's what it's got to be if it's going to compete with Audi, BMW and Mercedes, which is what they want it to do.
03:21The 2-litre T has a 2-litre engine and a turbo, and it's a light-pressure turbo, a very, very light pressure.
03:29So light, it's hardly there.
03:30Over about 3,500 revs, it goes, and that's it.
03:35I don't want light-pressure turbos.
03:36I want great, big, stonking, huge, heavy-handed turbos that throw you through the seat.
03:41But then, to do so would be very uneconomical and against our guidelines.
03:50Now, obviously, it's capable of far, far more.
03:53We could do speeds in excess of, ooh, well, we could certainly do 60, but that'd be crazy.
04:01But if you are going to let rip and explore speeds beyond 60, make sure you do it before you get to that great government invention, the bus lane.
04:11Here we go.
04:18Bus lane.
04:19Apparently, as many as two buses an hour come along here, so that's worth cordoning off 50% of the available road space permanently.
04:29Great thinking.
04:31It's funny, at a time when BMW have introduced their iDrive, the system on the Big 7 series where you get one big knob to control everything.
04:39It's not the driver.
04:41It's a big knob, literally, on the centre console.
04:44In here, we've got an old-fashioned approach where we've got a button, a switch, a knob or a dial for everything.
04:50I've counted 98 separate controls in this car.
04:5498.
04:55And all those buttons give you control over an impressive array of toys.
04:59Air conditioning, car computer, cruise control and CD player, all fitted as standard.
05:05But our guidelines have something to say on that matter.
05:07They tell us that, unfortunately, all on-board electrical devices, particularly air conditioning, shouldn't be used unless absolutely necessary, because they waste precious fuel.
05:17So, unfortunately, the handy that all of that stuff is, I'm going to make sure we don't use it and we stay friendly, because that's what the government tell us.
05:28That should do it.
05:30Shame, really.
05:32I'd have loved the aircon.
05:33It's getting a bit muggy in here.
05:34In fact, it's pretty good value for money.
05:39At £21,500, it's over £2,000 cheaper than the nearest Mercedes or BMW.
05:46And you can sit and dream about how to spend all that money you've saved whilst you're stuck at the lights.
05:53And stationary.
05:56Now, I've followed the guidelines.
05:58I've switched my engine off.
06:00Which is great.
06:01Lovely.
06:01There's a rumour here in London that the mayor, Ken Livingstone, is actually rigging the traffic lights to cause maximum disruption.
06:09Of course, it is only a rumour.
06:11And his people deny it.
06:12They say that the traffic lights have been changed to avoid too much congestion in areas during times of roadworks.
06:19Well, that's everywhere.
06:20All the time, isn't it?
06:21Surely.
06:22They also deny that it's causing traffic chaos.
06:27What's this, then?
06:28They say that drivers will find alternative routes.
06:32Where?
06:33In the sky?
06:35Two minutes red, eight seconds green.
06:38Nice.
06:39And we can just sit here at the traffic lights as our life ebbs slowly away.
06:48Well done.
06:53No whales were harmed in the making of that item.
06:56I want to make that absolutely plain.
06:57But you forgot to tell us what the car was like.
07:00Yeah, I did miss that bit out.
07:01Well, I can tell you what?
07:03Bus.
07:03Good Lord.
07:04No, that's a coach.
07:06A bus is a big smelly thing full of old ladies going to the post office.
07:09That's taking businessmen from Heathrow into London.
07:13Doesn't count.
07:14Doesn't count.
07:14Yeah, the car.
07:15It's just a bit bland.
07:17Old Saab's used to be quirky with wraparound windscreens and big slabs of dash and all of that.
07:21But this, it's just a car.
07:23It's got a clever engine, though.
07:25It's got a very clever engine.
07:26For instance, if you drive it through really heavily polluted cities, L.A., Denver, places like that.
07:31Birmingham.
07:31Yeah, Birmingham as well.
07:33The stuff that comes out of the exhaust is actually less toxic than the air going in at the front.
07:39Really?
07:39Yeah, it's because the catalytic converter on a light pressure turbo like this is so clever and so efficient
07:44that all the muck coming out of all the cars around you in the traffic, it'll take out some of the bits and pieces from that.
07:50So basically, if you turn this car's engine off at the lights, you're harming the environment.
07:56Yeah, it's very neglectful of you to do that, in fact, which is weird but strangely true.
08:01These government guidelines don't work, do they?
08:03Well, they don't work anyway.
08:04I mean, I was looking not to be punched in the face by a van driver waiting to get away at those lights anyway.
08:09Which you missed.
08:09You missed your window.
08:10Well, yeah, you've got eight seconds green, two minutes of red, you're like a sniper waiting for two days to take a shot.
08:17Oh, sorry.
08:19Missed it.
08:19Yeah.
08:19Okay, well, look, let's forget about how to drive and let's concentrate on what to drive.
08:25We'll be doing that later in the programme but for now, the news.
08:29This week, news from Daihatsu of the new Copen, which obviously stands for a coupe that opens.
08:36And this is the car of the future.
08:38A couple of weeks ago, we talked about the Smart Roadster.
08:40Yeah.
08:40Yeah, this as well, a little 660cc turbocharged engine, folding roof, a bit like the SLK.
08:46The only problem I can see with it is they look like they're going to be about 14 grand if they import it.
08:5114?
08:5214.
08:52And the Smart was?
08:5312.
08:54Well, starting at 12.
08:55So this is two grand too much.
08:56So it's not decided yet whether they're going to import it.
08:58Well, I wouldn't bother.
08:59No.
09:00That's going to kill it.
09:00It's only I've been too expensive.
09:01That's going to kill it.
09:02Now, um...
09:02Sort of that one out.
09:03Last week, there was a bit of an issue about Jeremy's Mercedes SL55 AMG.
09:09Which you stole.
09:10Yeah, we kind of did.
09:11Which you stole.
09:12And do you know what's really funny?
09:14Is we've had, I don't know how many emails, hundreds, from people saying that the car that
09:19was driven around the track by the Stig wasn't mine.
09:23Wasn't mine.
09:24The thing, no, really, the thing was, when I drove it in the road test, I changed my plates.
09:29I put SL55 AMG on, so no one knows what my number plate is.
09:34Did you bother changing the plates?
09:37No, not really.
09:39You did steal my car.
09:40Yeah, pretty much.
09:41So if we could just clear that up.
09:42But there is more news here.
09:44If that's left you downhearted, this won't cheer you up at all, because now there's a better one.
09:49Brabus, German tuning house, you'll have heard of them probably.
09:51Yeah.
09:51They brought out the K8, and basically it's going to be about 75 brake horsepower, even
09:56more than before.
09:57It's tricked up with great wheels, and I mean, that, that is a big mean car.
10:01Is that gay?
10:02Oh, no.
10:02Who thinks that's gay?
10:04That's still gay.
10:06Sorry, Jeremy.
10:06What's that going to cost, then?
10:07How much?
10:08It doesn't make any difference how much it's going to cost.
10:10It's gay.
10:12I want to talk about safety.
10:14I think a lot of people think that all cars are about the same.
10:17They all have to pass the same kind of tests, but actually they're not.
10:20There's an organization now called Euro NCAP, okay?
10:24And they test loads of cars and grade them.
10:27They're independent on our behalf.
10:29One, two, three, four, five stars.
10:31And so far, the only cars that have got five stars are the Renault Laguna and the Mercedes
10:35C-Class, okay?
10:37But they've just tested 18 more cars, and four of them have got five stars.
10:42And they are, this is important, you should know this, Mercedes E-Class, the Renault Velsatis,
10:47which we looked at last week, the Renault Megane, five stars for a Renault Megane, and the Saab 9.3,
10:55which you've been driving.
10:57That's true.
10:57So not only is it good for the environment, it cleans the air if you go through a mucky
11:01city.
11:01It's not just the air, that thing.
11:03That'll suck rabid bats in.
11:06Clean them up, nice and fluffy, shoot them out the back end and no rabies on them.
11:10Oh, lovely.
11:11The thing is with those cars, I mean, if you looked at those cars, you wouldn't obviously
11:14think, would you?
11:15A Velsatis?
11:16Well, a Megane.
11:16You wouldn't look at a Renault Megane and think, is that safer than a Mercedes S-Class?
11:19No.
11:20They also test for pedestrian safety, you know, if you actually run into someone, and
11:24all of them do, either badly or very badly, or in the case of the Suzuki Grand Vitara,
11:29appallingly, it got no stars.
11:33So basically, right, if you find yourself in the middle of a dual carriageway, there are
11:36two cars coming towards, you know you're going to be run over.
11:39If one of them is a Suzuki Grand Vitara, go for the other one.
11:42And just being serious, if I may, for a moment, because I never used to worry about safety
11:51at all, until I had kids.
11:53And NCAP actually do test, if they put child seats in the back and test 18-month-old babies
11:59and three-year-olds to see how they survive and how well they're looked after if you have
12:04an accident.
12:05And I think most of the cars they've tested are done very well, but the one they've
12:08picked out as being very good is the Subaru Legacy Outback.
12:14Wow.
12:15I mean, you look at that, it's not an obvious choice, is it?
12:18No.
12:18If you were thinking, I've got children now, I need to put them somewhere safe, you'd
12:21go Volvo or Mercedes or a big 4x4, but that is actually singled out with its child seats
12:27as being very, very good in both side impacts and frontal ones.
12:31So there we are.
12:32Right.
12:33Has anybody seen about Transport Minister Alistair Darling?
12:36Bless him.
12:36Has been saying what we need is a whole czar.
12:40A what?
12:40Because of all the holes in the road, it's because of all the disorganisation.
12:43I think it was in London on the Strand about 160 holes in the road in 12 months.
12:4912 months, yeah.
12:49Then they'll organise it and as a result, traffic congestion, chaos.
12:52Well, it's funny that comes in the same week that we've heard that the average car journey,
12:57the average journey by car is now 16% slower.
13:00It's taking people 16% longer to make the same journeys in their cars.
13:05Than it was four years ago.
13:05Yeah, and I don't think that's a big surprise.
13:07No, no, it isn't.
13:07I mean, the school run I have to do, not in London, it's from outside Oxford into the centre
13:12of Oxford, most car-friendly city in Britain.
13:16Well, okay, second most car-friendly.
13:18That's now 18 miles an hour and a half.
13:20The point to be, and the interesting point be, how much do you think the traffic has increased
13:25by the volume of traffic to achieve that?
13:27So journeys, 16% longer, traffic increased by what you're...
13:30How many more cars do you think there are on the roads?
13:32Give me a percentage.
13:32Come on, guess.
13:332% more?
13:35Or two cars?
13:36You fool.
13:37I wouldn't do it.
13:38You're wrong.
13:39No.
13:39Should we say how many more?
13:40I'm going to tell you, none.
13:41It's exactly the same.
13:42And yet journey times are that much slower.
13:44And that's because of all the stuff we've fixed.
13:46That's why they, that guy would have been doing 70 in that lane, now he's having to
13:51do 40 because of that.
13:53Ooh, there's something coming.
13:54Hello.
13:55It's a taxi and another taxi and another taxi.
13:59Well, that's three people, all right?
14:00Coming in from Heathrow.
14:01This is the problem.
14:01And now, have you seen the latest scan they've got with bus stops?
14:04You know there used to be a lay-by the bus pulled into, okay, so that the old ladies
14:08could get on?
14:09Yeah.
14:10Well, now they're building bus stops out into the road.
14:13Why?
14:13This is the latest idea because bus drivers were saying that no one was letting them
14:18out.
14:20So now we have to wait while she did it.
14:23Oh, I've got me down.
14:24We've shopped in trolley.
14:25Oh, no.
14:27Anyway, before I, what?
14:30Do I travel a lot?
14:32What do you think?
14:35I went on a bus once.
14:38I was eight.
14:39It's hideous.
14:41Anyway, there's been a lot of talk just recently.
14:43Uh, in America about what Jesus would have driven.
14:47We're not interested in that, actually.
14:48Not even slightly.
14:49What we're interested in is finding the fastest religion around our track.
14:54So, will you look at what we've got here?
14:59You, sir, are from the...
15:01Catholic Church.
15:01Catholic Church, and you're...
15:03Father Simon Thompson.
15:04Right.
15:04Now, what do you drive?
15:06A Ciel Lyon.
15:07A turbocharged Ciel Lyon.
15:09Well, it could for a turbo, yeah.
15:10Yeah.
15:11And you've had it chipped.
15:12Well, I've got the touch-up paint.
15:14Yeah.
15:14No, you've had it chipped from 180 to 206 brake horsepower.
15:19One fast priest, I would say.
15:22Now, you, sir, I'm guessing, rabbi?
15:25Correct.
15:26Rabbi?
15:27Pinny Dunner.
15:28Pinny Dunner.
15:28Great name.
15:29Pinny Dunner.
15:30And what do you drive?
15:31I drive a Vectra.
15:32I'm sorry.
15:36You did know what we were planning on doing here.
15:40I did.
15:41Any crashes?
15:43A few.
15:44Talk us through them.
15:46I've turned over a Honda.
15:49I've crashed a 2CV.
15:52I've backed out of my drive into somebody's car.
15:56That's just three that I can think of offhand, but I've crashed a few more times.
16:00And what we've learned is that you've never had a good car, actually, from that little lot.
16:04Now, standing alongside you is...
16:07I had no idea you were so fluent in Tibetan.
16:15That's quite amazing.
16:16What is your email address with that?
16:19Can I call you Riggsin?
16:21Oh, please.
16:22Yes.
16:22Fine.
16:22Now, you're Buddhist.
16:25Good, yes.
16:26Good.
16:26And you drive a...
16:27Renault Scenic.
16:28Renault Scenic.
16:29You had any accidents?
16:32I...
16:33I may be the only person to have written off a car in a motorway's service area.
16:38Really?
16:40How did you manage that?
16:42Well, I got a bit disorientated.
16:43I only stopped for a pee, and I walked through the door with the picture of the man wearing a skirt.
16:50That's true.
16:51And leaving in a hurry, I was still kind of revolving this incident in my mind, and I met with one of those, you know, rogue lampposts that you do occasionally.
17:02In the thing.
17:03Well, how annoying is that?
17:04Mm-hmm.
17:05So now we move on to the Reverend Anthony Feltham White.
17:10Mm-hmm.
17:11Representing the...
17:12Church of England.
17:13Church of England.
17:14Now, actually, you are a bit of a dark horse here, aren't you?
17:16Erm...
17:17Not exactly.
17:18No, I wouldn't say so.
17:19But you actually race cars?
17:21Only some three or four times a year.
17:23Yes.
17:24It's still racing.
17:25What's it called?
17:26You're racing...
17:27Revelation Racing.
17:28Glorifying God through competition in motorsports.
17:30Absolutely.
17:31Absolutely.
17:32Well, good on you.
17:34Now, I know that is already someone from the Church of England, but we couldn't resist it when, at the last minute, we were contacted by a...
17:39Bishop.
17:40A bishop.
17:41I mean, we had to say yes.
17:43When Bish rings, you go, well, we've got to have you on board.
17:46So, you're right, Reverend Wallace Ben from...?
17:48From...
17:49I live in Eastbourne, but I'm the Bishop of Lewis, which is East Sussex.
17:52Bishop of Lewis.
17:53Okay, now, member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists.
17:56Yep.
17:57This isn't gonna help.
17:59No, no, no.
18:00Shuffling your arms around won't help here, okay?
18:03It has to be all that, okay?
18:05Now, the thing is, they've already been around the track, along with a guy from the Hare Krishna, but sadly, he can't be here today.
18:11No.
18:12Same.
18:13And nor has he probably noticed, have we got a Muslim, and that's because it's Ramadan.
18:16But when Ramadan's over, do please get in touch.
18:18We'd love to put you in the same sort of car, same track, see how you get on.
18:22Anyway, we'll be seeing how you guys get on a little bit later.
18:26And, you know, I really can't wait for that, but let's get back to the environment for a bit and talk about diesel.
18:31Now, we don't blame anybody for buying a diesel engine car.
18:34Okay, so the fuel might cost about the same as petrol, but you'll get much better economy.
18:40And the engines themselves have come on a very long way.
18:43For instance, the TDCi diesel engine in this Ford Focus.
18:46Great.
18:47It's a really good, usable, everyday car, and it's a diesel.
18:50Need something bigger?
18:51BMW 5 Series.
18:52The three-litre diesel engine in there.
18:54I kid you not.
18:55At 90 mile an hour, you'd never know it was a diesel.
18:58Need something even bigger?
18:59Completely clueless about contraception and want a people carrier.
19:02The new Citroën C8.
19:04It's great.
19:05It's got a really cool and funky interior.
19:06It's very clever.
19:07It's very big and spacious and comfy.
19:09Are you comfy in there, guys?
19:10Yeah.
19:11Oh, good.
19:12But the most interesting thing about this is Top Gear hasn't been renowned for its love
19:16of diesels over the years.
19:18And yet the version of this, the C8 that we'd advise you to go for, is the diesel-engined
19:23one.
19:24So three very different cars with very different purposes, but all diesels and all very good.
19:29So what's next for diesel?
19:31This is the Peugeot RC, possibly the world's first proper diesel sports car.
19:41And since there's only one in existence, Peugeot were a little nervous about the Stig having
19:46a play.
19:47So they sent down their own man, Richard Burns.
19:52The RC has all the sports car credentials.
19:58Carbon fibre body, mid-mounted engine, a six-speed sequential gearbox, a 0-60 time of
20:05six seconds.
20:06And yet Peugeot still claim that it'll do 57 miles to the gallon.
20:10So could you, would you, would you take the leap and have a diesel sports car?
20:17Would I buy a diesel car?
20:19No.
20:20And I can explain why.
20:21Volkswagen Golf, okay?
20:23Petrol engine, European chic, goes into my cool wall which we introduced last week
20:29in the cool section.
20:31Volkswagen Golf.
20:32Diesel.
20:33Identical car except for the engine, where does it go?
20:36Uncool, because it marks you out as a cheapskate.
20:39Here we go, the Saab we looked at earlier.
20:44Now, Saabs, I know they've gone all conventional, I know it runs on a Vauxhall Vectra platform
20:48and yet somehow telling people you've got a Saab, quite cool.
20:52So it goes there and...
20:55Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I've explained, this isn't debate.
20:59I tell you where things go.
21:01I am the judge here.
21:03Unless, of course, it's got a diesel engine which Saab are now doing, in which case it goes
21:07there.
21:08Happy now?
21:09Yes.
21:10I have to say, actually, this cool wall has caused an absolute furor.
21:13We have had 20,000 emails about it.
21:1620,000.
21:17And all day long, all the people here have been going, oh, what did you put that there for?
21:21And I've got a microphone here so we can hit people with it.
21:24You, what do you want moving?
21:27The MX5 and the MGTF.
21:29You want to switch an MX5 with a...?
21:32MGTF.
21:33Anyone else got any thoughts?
21:34What was yours earlier?
21:35The Aston Martin I would put down into the uncool.
21:39On the basis of build quality and it's not value for money, it's too much Ford.
21:44You are such an idiot.
21:45This is the coolest car.
21:54I perhaps haven't explained how the cool thing works.
21:58It's got nothing to do with build quality.
22:01Absolutely nothing to do with it.
22:03Or looks.
22:04Or anything.
22:05Or how they are to drive.
22:07All that matters is are they cool?
22:08And the way you can judge it is this, okay?
22:11You've got to take Kristin Scott Thomas out for dinner.
22:14Cool girl, yes?
22:16We all have never heard of her, have you?
22:18Anyway, she's the coolest actress there is.
22:20You turn up in something like that, Ferrari 360, she's going to think you're a berg.
22:28You turn up in that, she's going to leave her husband.
22:33That's how cool works.
22:35Who was complaining about the Ford Ka?
22:37You were.
22:38Why were you complaining about the Ford Ka?
22:40It's just good.
22:41There's nothing you can say about it apart from looking at it.
22:44It's a good car.
22:45You've turned up with 86 earrings and you're telling us that's a brilliant car.
22:49My case rests.
22:51Oh, he's looking angry.
22:52I mean, I like earrings.
22:54You know?
22:55I drive an SL, okay?
22:56I'm gay, as he talks about.
23:00Anyway, where was I?
23:02Completely forgot.
23:03Oh, diesels.
23:04The point is that if you have a diesel, it marks you out as being mean and that's why they're in uncool.
23:11The end.
23:12Feel better for that, dear.
23:13Yeah, I had a bit of a moment.
23:14Really?
23:15Don't upset the bloke in the earrings.
23:16I don't inspire that.
23:17You carry on, but just be careful.
23:18All right.
23:19I'll just go that way.
23:20We're saying diesel's uncool.
23:21They're down this end of the board.
23:22All right.
23:23Next thing could be electric cars.
23:25Now, billions and billions of pounds are spent in America by organizations, including the government, on developing electric cars.
23:32And this, the Ford Think, mmm, is the best they can come up with.
23:37And frankly, you're better off doing the Guardian thing and jogging to work.
23:42Let me show you why.
23:43Now, here's the Think with the Stig at the wheel.
23:47Listen to the throbbing silence of that electric motor.
23:50Glorious.
23:51For comparison, we've lined it up against something equally sprightly.
23:56Jason.
24:01And they're off.
24:02Now, the Think can do nought to thirty in seven seconds.
24:07But you can have problems, particularly if you use the electrical stuff.
24:10Things like the stereo.
24:14He's leaving.
24:16Now, Jason by now is way behind.
24:20But look what's happening.
24:21It's running out of steam.
24:26Oh, my word, it's stopped.
24:28And the giant Galapagos tortoises pass and across the line.
24:34Would you drive an electric car then, Jeremy?
24:36No, I don't want to drive around in an appliance.
24:38It's as simple as that.
24:40And I'll tell you something else about electric cars, okay?
24:43You have to charge them up at night, okay?
24:45How many people park outside their houses?
24:49You have to park three street...
24:51You do.
24:52Well, well done you.
24:53There's one man who park outside his house.
24:55But for the rest of us, you park three streets away.
24:58And even if you can park outside your house,
25:00there's just going to be flex.
25:01You'll be walking down the pavement like this over all the flexors.
25:05That's stupid.
25:06Maybe not the best, but there might be a solution.
25:08And as is often the case, it's a compromise.
25:10And it's a hybrid car.
25:11It's the Toyota Prius.
25:12The clever thing is, and the reason it's a compromise,
25:15it's got two engines.
25:17There's a 1.3 litre petrol and an electric motor.
25:20And the way it works is it runs on the electric motor at slow speeds.
25:23And then when it needs more power, all the motor runs out of charge.
25:27The engine, the petrol engine, fires up and that puts the charge into the electric one.
25:31So you don't have to plug it in.
25:33Brilliant.
25:34And not just brilliant.
25:35I've got a list here of the people who are driving this car.
25:40Not a made up list.
25:41This is for real.
25:42Cameron Dears has one of these cars.
25:46Leonardo DiCaprio.
25:48Donny Osmond.
25:49We'll skip over that.
25:50Alicia Silverstone.
25:51Jane Fonda.
25:52Jeff Goldblum.
25:53Billy Joel.
25:54We'll move over that one.
25:55Ted Danson.
25:56Dennis Weaver.
25:57David Duchovny.
25:58John Kettley.
25:59The list goes on and on forever.
26:02And yet, despite that, despite the incredible patronage, I don't know, where do we put it?
26:09Uncool.
26:10Uncool?
26:11I'm thinking not uncool.
26:13I'm thinking not even seriously uncool.
26:16I'm thinking further down here.
26:19I'm thinking way out of the lit part of the basin in the deep, dark recesses of hell.
26:26But do you know what, Jeremy?
26:27Despite what the government say, despite what the environmentalists say, it's not diesels and electric powered cars that are going to excite the drivers of the future.
26:35I went to a couple of schools to see which cars the kids of today want to drive.
26:40And when I got in the classroom, they weren't drawing a Prius.
26:44So to find out if kids still love supercars like they've always done, I lined up some break time treats.
26:50A Ferrari 360.
26:52A Pagani Zonda.
26:54A Nissan Skyline R34 GTR.
26:57And finally, a TVR Tuscan.
27:00Cool, huh?
27:01Look at this one first, the red one.
27:10Okay.
27:11Ferrari.
27:12Right.
27:13Who did I say drives one of these?
27:15Michael Schumacher, David Beckham.
27:18And they're made in what country?
27:20Italy.
27:21Italy.
27:22Okay.
27:23Do you want to do some spellings?
27:24So should we look at the cars instead?
27:28Yeah!
27:29Okay.
27:30Can you maybe guess how much money one of these would cost?
27:33750.
27:34750.
27:35Right.
27:36A little bit more than that.
27:37Good guess though.
27:38This would cost about the same amount as a house.
27:42This costs £110,000, which is like loads and loads of pocket money.
27:47Right.
27:48Anybody know what kind of car this is?
27:50GTR.
27:51Yeah.
27:52It's a Nissan Skyline.
27:53It's a GTR.
27:54Now these aren't made in Italy.
27:55These are made in, maybe, no?
27:58Crocra.
27:59Crocra.
28:00Not heard of that place.
28:03I heard someone say the name of this one.
28:05What's this one called?
28:06TVR.
28:07TVR.
28:08And do you know where these are made?
28:09Cyprus.
28:10Cyprus.
28:11They make them here.
28:12This car is made in a place called Blackpool.
28:15You want to hear it?
28:16Yeah.
28:17All right then.
28:18Ready?
28:19Wow.
28:22This car will do 220 miles an hour.
28:31This is actually called, it's a funny name, it's called a Zonda.
28:35How many houses do you think you could buy?
28:39Three.
28:40Three houses.
28:42This car costs 300,000 pounds.
28:45Three, two, one.
28:47One car that I'd like to show you before you decide.
29:01Yeah, if you look behind you.
29:04Here it is, the old stager.
29:09The undefeated champion of the bedroom wall posters.
29:14The Lamborghini Countach.
29:22Put your hand up if you think that the red Ferrari...
29:25When the kids had covered every inch of the paintwork in fingerprints,
29:29it was time for the vote.
29:31Hands up for the TVR.
29:32Who likes TVR most?
29:33In fifth place was the Nissan, with five points.
29:36Fourth place was the TVR, with 11 points.
29:40Third place, the Ferrari.
29:42Second place is the Zonda, with 16 points.
29:45Zonda with second.
29:46The winner is the Lamborghini, with 41 points.
29:49Oh, come on!
29:50Yay!
29:55Excellent.
29:56So, Jason, did any of those children go on about the environment at all?
29:59Uh, no.
30:00You see, the thing is, when we arrived and we put those cars on the playground,
30:03where you saw it, they came out of the classrooms,
30:05and their eyes were like saucers.
30:08When we started it up, I mean, it was just...
30:10They just went to another place.
30:11Fantastic.
30:12And the strange thing was, it was the Countach.
30:14It was the oldest, the dirtiest car of the lot, that fired them up the most.
30:17Which could be bad news for the future, but not necessarily,
30:19because there is a way that any petrol car, the Countach, anything,
30:22can be converted to be more environmentally friendly.
30:25We're going to demonstrate with this.
30:27It's a Bristol clinking great V8 engine car,
30:30but it has been converted to run on LPG, that's gas.
30:33Which is good news for the environment, it's cleaner burning,
30:36and it's actually cheaper too, and it doesn't cost a fortune to do it either.
30:39No, you can convert pretty much any petrol engine for about £1,500,
30:43and the thing is, the gas is so much cheaper.
30:46When you've done about 20,000 miles,
30:48you'll have recouped the money you've actually spent on the conversion.
30:50Great, so we all win, us, the environment, everybody's happy.
30:53But there is a problem, the gas is only so cheap
30:56because the government has frozen the tax on it to keep it cheap.
30:59So whether or not to convert your car to run on gas depends on one thing.
31:03Do you trust the government?
31:06No.
31:07Now, I'll tell you what, the funniest thing for me about the government
31:11is they recently decided to judge how much company car tax you pay
31:15on how much carbon dioxide comes out of the back.
31:19What a stupid thing, it's not a killer gas.
31:22Look, we've got this chart here, okay,
31:24and this shows where carbon dioxide comes from.
31:2795.5% comes from nature.
31:32Do they go around taxing farmers for their flocks of cows?
31:36Do they tax Mount Etna every time it blows up?
31:39It's ridiculous.
31:40Only this little orange sliver here comes from man.
31:44And of that, 34% from power stations,
31:47people charging up their electric cars.
31:49And then you've got 14% from domestic use.
31:53Potterton's boilers, tax them out of business.
31:56Look what they're doing because only 13% of that little tiny bit there comes from cars.
32:03Ridiculous.
32:04But we have the rules and it's our job on Top Gear to show you a way round them.
32:14And that's where this comes in, okay?
32:16Lotus Elise.
32:17Now this does 40 miles to the gallon.
32:2140.
32:2240.
32:23It's in the same tax bracket as a Ford Fiesta.
32:27It is.
32:29So, it obeys the letter of the law perfectly.
32:33But the spirit?
32:35No.
32:36Not even slightly.
32:37This, of course, is the new Elise, which you can have with a normal 1.8-litre engine
32:54that's easy to tune and tinker with.
32:56But this version, the 111S, has a sealed for life 1.8 with all sorts of complicated trickery
33:03like variable valve timing.
33:05It offers up 156bhp, 0-60 in 5 seconds and a top speed of 132.
33:14So, how come, man, it's so economical and so kind to the environment?
33:28How does it do that?
33:30Hmm?
33:31Now?
33:32The key is weight.
33:34This car weighs less than the driver, so it doesn't need much fuel to move it around.
33:40Put it like this.
33:41You don't need a rocket motor to move a souffle.
33:47Lotus never fitted the older Elise with electric windows.
33:50Not because they were too expensive, but because the motors were too heavy.
33:55And they never fitted carpets either, and yet this one.
33:58This one has the full Wilton and air conditioning and a CD player and leather.
34:04So, does this mean, then, that Lotus has sold out a bit?
34:15No.
34:16See these new wheels that they've fitted?
34:19Delicate, aren't they?
34:21Delicate and light.
34:23Specifically, six kilograms lighter than they used to be on the old car.
34:27So, even with all the new luxuries, the whole car in total only weighs 760 kilograms.
34:34That's about the same as a Mercedes headrest.
34:37And with the extra power in the boot, it should be even more fun to drive.
34:42Great!
34:43The older Elise was described by many as the best handling car in the world, and initially, this doesn't disappoint either.
34:57Oh, this steering is still just as good as ever.
35:03It's so delicate and so much feel.
35:06You could run over an insect to know just from the messages coming through the wheel how many legs it had.
35:12Was it a beetle? Was it a spider? Hang on.
35:17Spider.
35:19So, what about the handling?
35:22Oh! Understeer.
35:25Big understeer.
35:26Now, I know the old Elise was very twitchy, and some people were scared by that.
35:36So, they fitted narrower tyres on this one to reduce front-end grip, but I don't think they've reduced it.
35:43They've completely removed it. Here we are, coming up to the Hammerhead now.
35:46Okay, turning no power.
35:49Oh, Lord!
35:52Have you ever seen understeer like this?
35:56Oh, dear.
36:02Slide!
36:04Slide!
36:06And if you do go mad and kick the rear end out, you end up facing the way you came.
36:12In a cloud of smoke.
36:16So, on the evidence of what we've seen so far, not a particularly good car.
36:26But this, this is Gavin Kershaw.
36:28He's from Lotus, and he says there's nothing wrong with the car.
36:32The problem was my driving.
36:35So, he offered to take me out on our track and show me how it should be done.
36:42So, you're the chief chassis man at Lotus.
36:45One of the principal chassis engineers, yeah.
36:48And you live in Norfolk?
36:49Yeah.
36:50So, you've got a girlfriend?
36:51I've got a girlfriend.
36:52How many wheels has she got?
36:54Yes.
36:56Yeah.
36:57Well, I was going to say, how many legs has she got?
36:58Same sir, no.
36:59That would have been good.
37:00Well, I couldn't make it do that.
37:01How are you doing it?
37:02Why doesn't it just understeer?
37:03You have to be very gentle with it and just defy physics.
37:05So, we're coming down this corner braking on the brakes, then just flick it in, then lift and flick it down.
37:10Oh, God.
37:11And not flat out through here.
37:12Why have you made it more understeer-y than the olderlies?
37:13Because we're selling 3,000 cars, we have to cater for all drivers.
37:14Why have you made it more understeer-y than the olderlies?
37:18Because we're selling 3,000 cars, we have to cater for all drivers.
37:19We would make the chassis.
37:20So, if you didn't know how to drive, you can just play with it.
37:21So, we're coming down this corner braking on the brakes, then just flick it in, then lift and flick it down.
37:25Oh, God.
37:26Enough flat out through here.
37:31Why have you made it more understeer-y than the olderlies?
37:38Because we're selling 3,000 cars, we have to cater for all drivers.
37:43We'll make the chassis.
37:44So, if you don't know how to drive, you can just play with it.
37:50I could vomit on you now, actually. I'm really considering vomiting on you.
37:54OK.
37:57I could go off, people.
38:02I'm just really quite impressed, and actually quite depressed, at how I couldn't do that and how you can.
38:09Oh, we're going to have a head corner again. Oversteer in. Oversteer in.
38:16Oversteer in.
38:18Oh, it's so close to the tyres, man.
38:23Can we go home now?
38:25It's not big and it's not clever to drive like that, is it?
38:28Are you impressed, girls, with driving like that?
38:30You are, alright.
38:31Well, move to Norfolk, then. They all do that.
38:33The thing is, though, I don't live in Norfolk. I have a life.
38:38So, how do I kill the understeer if I were to buy a car like that?
38:42We can supply optional, bigger front tyres, so even you won't get understeer.
38:46Really? You can buy, you'll sell me big tyres?
38:48Yes, big tyres.
38:49That will solve it?
38:50Yep.
38:51Brilliant.
38:52So, what we're going to do now is see how fast it goes around our track.
38:55Unleash the Stig.
38:59And he's off.
39:00Of course, for the Stig, oversteer and understeer are not really the issue.
39:04To get the best time, he needs to keep it nice and tidy.
39:09And here we are into the first corner. Look at that.
39:12Even in the wet, it's smoother silk.
39:19Look at him. Really enjoying the Elise's stereo here.
39:24So, here he is at the Hammerhead.
39:26This corner was designed by Lotus, so the Elise should be good through here.
39:30And it is.
39:31None of the slithering about we had from the Honda NSX last week.
39:43You know, this car is on for a seriously fast time.
39:49I mean, really fast.
39:51And look at the Stig, he's hardly having to work at that wheel.
39:54It's all so easy.
39:56If you know what you're doing, this is such a well-balanced car.
40:02So, for the fifth week on the trot, the Stig had to go round in the rain,
40:06but the time he set was astonishing.
40:08One minute, 35 seconds.
40:10That's the same as a Ferrari 575, and it only has a 1.8-litre engine.
40:18However, let's not get carried away.
40:20It is not the most environmentally friendly car that money can buy.
40:26Because that is.
40:28Jason, Richard, do the honours.
40:32This is a Peugeot 607.
40:35And the reason why it's so green is simple.
40:40It's awful.
40:41It's dreadful.
40:42If you bought one of these, I guarantee you'd never drive it anywhere.
40:48Right, now it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
40:54He has been on top of the pops 105 times, but now he's on top of the gear.
40:59Ladies and gentlemen, from status quo, Rick Parfitt!
41:04Have a seat.
41:05Now, you're not the ideal guest to have on an environmental week, I have to be honest.
41:20No, not really, no.
41:22We went through some of your singles and hits over the years in the office last night.
41:26We didn't find a single environmental lyric in any of them.
41:29No, none at all.
41:30No, it's just about love and stuff like that and kissing and all that sort of dopey stuff, you know.
41:34Yeah, well.
41:35And it sells.
41:36It certainly does, yeah.
41:38New album?
41:39Yep.
41:40Heavy traffic?
41:41Yeah.
41:42Inspired by this, perhaps?
41:43Happily named, isn't it?
41:44Yeah.
41:45Well, it really wasn't inspired by anything, really, but I mean, this is unbelievable, isn't it?
41:49I mean, when it first went in, I remember thinking, you know, because it's a bottleneck anyway, isn't it, going into Heathrow.
41:56Yeah, Europe's biggest city.
41:57And to put that in there, to take a lane away from us, I think it's disgraceful.
42:02Of course, this is the M4. You've had some bad times on the M4, haven't you?
42:05Me?
42:06Yeah.
42:07Ooh, yeah.
42:08I had a bit of a shunt on the M3, actually, it was, yeah.
42:10It was the M3.
42:11Yeah, and it kind of changed my whole view about driving, you know.
42:14I kind of became sensible after that, and I kind of stick to the speed limit and stuff.
42:18Now I'm a bit boring, you know.
42:19Really?
42:20It's like a cup of tea after a concert.
42:21We have a cup of tea and go to bed, you know, it's real rock and roll.
42:25But I do, I feel these days, you know, a license is a precious thing.
42:30It certainly is to me, and I know it is to a lot of other people.
42:33And, you know, I really don't want to lose it anymore.
42:36You've lost it three times.
42:38Three times?
42:39Yeah.
42:40And in great circumstances, you know.
42:41Really?
42:42Were they?
42:43Well, the last one certainly was, yeah.
42:45I was sort of doing an estimated 120 miles an hour down the M3.
42:50I don't know what speed I was going, because I was actually asleep.
42:52Is that when you stuffed it?
42:57Yeah.
42:58Yeah, I was very lucky.
42:59I think, had it been in anything lesser than a Porsche, I think, I probably wouldn't have
43:04been sitting here now.
43:05But I was very lucky.
43:06It kind of spun.
43:07It was like four o'clock in the morning.
43:09And so, fortunately, nobody else was around and nobody else was involved.
43:12But I ended up in a field and just sat there merrily sleeping, you know.
43:17I didn't wake up at all.
43:19So, what was it that first turned you on to Porsches?
43:22Well, I had a Mini, a Cooper S in the early days, which was one of my all-time favourite
43:27cars, and still is, you know, with the twin tanks.
43:29I'm really rather brought down, actually, with the new one, with the new Cooper S, that it
43:33hasn't got the twin tanks.
43:34Yeah, no, no, like Jags should have twin tanks.
43:35Well, I agree, a common tank, yeah, it would be great.
43:38However, I was sitting on the lights on the A3, when the A3 used to have lights, and it's
43:43a complete straight piece of road.
43:45And the Cooper S, I'd had it kind of bored out and shaved, and then the Recaro racing
43:50seat, the straight through, you know, it was a real tool.
43:53So, this thing pulls up beside me this night, and I'm really, you know, looking forward
43:57to this burn away from the lights, and this thing just went away from me, and I had no
44:01idea what it was.
44:02And I later found out, I caught it up at the next set of lights, and it was a Porsche, and
44:06I thought, got to have one.
44:07And luckily enough, I've been in the position where I could afford a Porsche, and so I got
44:12one, and I had 10, 11 of them since then.
44:1511 Porsches?
44:16Yeah.
44:17You're still on them now?
44:18No, I'm not, because since I had the accident, my mum, bless her, she's passed away now,
44:24but she said, for Christ, I don't buy another Porsche.
44:27And I haven't.
44:28I've never had another one.
44:29I've never driven another one.
44:31Seven, eight years now since I've driven a Porsche.
44:33Didn't she ever say, why don't you give up the booze and the drugs?
44:37Probably that was causing the accident more than the car.
44:41Just a thought.
44:42Oh, she was a sensible woman, my mum.
44:45Anyway, of course, the reason you're here is this.
44:49Oh, right, yeah.
44:50This is our Suzuki lap times.
44:51Yeah.
44:52You've been out there, you've had a go.
44:53How did it go?
44:54Well, I mean, it was great fun, actually, you know.
44:58Would you like to see how you did?
45:01Yeah, I would.
45:02Okay, everyone, here we go.
45:04Play the tape.
45:05Rick Parfitt in a reasonably priced car for the first time in 30 years, and you're off.
45:10It's a dry track.
45:12It started out dry.
45:13It started out dry?
45:14Yeah.
45:15How is this coming up to the front?
45:16Lights on.
45:17Smooth.
45:18Oh, what was that?
45:19What was it?
45:20What was that noise I just heard from you?
45:22You broke up.
45:23Ooh.
45:24I probably broke wind.
45:25What are those gloves you've got on there?
45:29They've got Jason King holes in the knuckles.
45:32I know.
45:33And they're from Harrods.
45:35Well, here we go.
45:38Across the line after this corner.
45:41Ooh, quite sparkly.
45:42It felt so much faster than that when you're in the car.
45:46I mean...
45:47That was quite fast.
45:48It felt so fast.
45:49I've got the time.
45:50Now, these are the times we've had so far.
45:52Yeah.
45:53Dry track.
45:54So, really, we can sort of say, these are, you know, Tara, 154.
45:56Yeah.
45:57Um, that's Ross Kemp, 154.
45:59Jonathan Ross.
46:00Yeah.
46:01Pathetic, frankly.
46:02You.
46:03I'm quite nervous about this.
46:04Ready?
46:05Rick.
46:06P.
46:07Because we're not going to get it on.
46:08One minute.
46:09Oh, at least I'm in the one.
46:1052 seconds, everybody.
46:11Ooh.
46:12Lovely.
46:13Lovely.
46:14Lovely.
46:15Lovely.
46:16He's not going to be happy.
46:17Yeah, that's great.
46:18He's not going to be happy isn't Coogan.
46:19I'm very pleased.
46:20But the thing is, everybody, it wasn't an entirely incident-free time you had out there,
46:36was it?
46:37Entirely, no.
46:38Who would like to see what happened?
46:40Yes.
46:41Okay, can we play that?
46:42Let's watch Rick coming through the second to last corner, and...
46:46Oh, no.
46:47That's...
46:48Beautiful.
46:49Oh, no.
46:50There's more.
46:51Back on.
46:52Oh, no.
46:53Across the line, sideways.
46:56Beautifully done.
46:57I did actually see one of the camera crews when we were out on the far side of the track,
47:05and I think it was on the fastest lap I did, and as I'm approaching, you can literally
47:09see them sort of going like that.
47:11Whoa.
47:12The extraordinary thing is, is that nearly every celebrity has been off on that corner,
47:16and the crews have now learned.
47:17Yeah.
47:18The director goes, can you cover that corner?
47:20No.
47:21Who's coming this way?
47:22Rick Parfitt.
47:23No.
47:24Definitely not.
47:25Definitely not.
47:26Ladies and gentlemen, Rick Parfitt.
47:28This week's insider trading news.
47:35Now, a couple of weeks ago, we promised that you would be getting some cracking deals on
47:40new cars.
47:41Now, you remember, we talked about the Suzuki Liana, not 9995.
47:44A dealer emailed us, said it was 7995.
47:47The fight is on.
47:49This week, I was emailed by another dealer, Fiat Stilo.
47:52The 1.6 Active five-door car, that car normally is 11,700 quid.
47:57Have a guess what they're offering that car at.
47:59I've no idea.
48:0010 and a half.
48:017995.
48:02That's an insanely reasonable price.
48:04That's four grand off.
48:05That's a big save.
48:06Now, quick question.
48:07You know this.
48:08What's the cheapest new car you can buy?
48:10Well, Jason, it's the Peridua Calisa at 4999.
48:14No, wrong.
48:15Oh.
48:16This week, I was offered a brand new Ford car for 4995.
48:21That's fantastically cheap.
48:22Yeah.
48:23So that's like four quid cheaper.
48:25And then...
48:26Yeah, but that car new normally is 6,600 quid.
48:29And when they brought the car out in, when was it, three or four years ago, it was eight
48:32grand, didn't have power steering.
48:33That car now is 4995.
48:35Why?
48:36Well, basically, we said it before, the dealers have got targets to hit.
48:39And the way it works with Ford is that they give a retrospective bonus.
48:43They give you a percentage on all the cars you've sold.
48:45Oh, right.
48:46Now, if a dealer's got a target of 1,000 cars, they could stand to lose tens of thousands
48:50of pounds if they don't get that target.
48:51If they don't sell all of those cars.
48:52If they don't sell all of those cars, they're going to miss tens...
48:54It could be 100,000 pounds.
48:55So the last few...
48:56Yeah.
48:57Sell them at a loss.
48:58They're actually selling those cars at a loss.
49:00Now, the minute they hit those targets, fine.
49:01They won't care anymore.
49:02They'll put them back up.
49:034995.
49:04That is seriously cheap.
49:05But I've got an even bigger discount this week.
49:08The Susie Trooper.
49:09Big car.
49:10They're bringing some new ones out next year.
49:11And they've also got a few of the old ones in stock.
49:14Now, those cars need to be registered before the end of this year because they don't
49:18hit the emissions targets for next year.
49:20So they're what?
49:21Literally couldn't register them in this country?
49:22Exactly.
49:23They'd have to send them back.
49:24Send them back to the factory.
49:25Bargain around the corner.
49:263.5 V6.
49:27Citation.
49:28Proper car.
49:297 seats.
49:30Metallica and a tow.
49:31But I'm selling it to you now.
49:32That car normally is 27,000 pounds.
49:34Yes.
49:3518,995.
49:36Good grief.
49:37That's enormous.
49:38Brand new out the box.
49:39And that's because the dealers are stuck.
49:40Same thing.
49:41There aren't that many of them around.
49:42But if you go into a dealer and find one of the current models, register it before the
49:45end of the year, you will get a storming deal on it.
49:48Right.
49:49Well, earlier on, Jeremy introduced us to our various men of faith.
49:53And this is it.
49:54Now it's time to find out just which is the fastest faith.
50:04It had been raining, but now the sun had come out, which you'd kind of expected to
50:09with this lot around.
50:10And the track was drying.
50:12And that was a good thing, because this was the car they'd be driving.
50:17The car, well, it's based on a Subaru STI, but then there's a little bit more to it.
50:30It's been modified.
50:31It's got a performance engine, suspension, exhaust, the whole lot, really.
50:36Over 330 brake horsepower, 0-60 in four and a half seconds.
50:41It's brutal.
50:42This is a proper rally car.
50:43They're gonna enjoy this.
50:47But only after they'd received guidance from the Prince of Darkness himself, the Stig.
50:54First to go for the Harry Krishnas was Mark Lee.
50:59Three, two, one, go!
51:03And he gave it everything.
51:06Oh, yes!
51:07What a lad.
51:08Now that's surprisingly aggressive.
51:11It's a little bit nerve.
51:14It's a powerful car.
51:15It is.
51:16But we'll hopefully, in the back of his mind, he'll be kind of calm.
51:19Right.
51:20Well, let's give him that support.
51:21Absolutely.
51:22I can't believe you came in the group.
51:23That's great.
51:24I know he's going well.
51:25This is some pretty committed driving.
51:26I just want him to make this corner.
51:27Yeah, he did it.
51:28Oh!
51:29Oh, my word!
51:30He's gone!
51:31Oh, my word!
51:32He's gone!
51:33Oh, my word!
51:34He's gone!
51:35Oh, my word!
51:37He's gone!
51:38Oh, my word!
51:39Oh, my word!
51:40He's gone!
51:41Oh, my word!
51:42He's gone!
51:43Oh, my word!
51:44Oh, my word!
51:45've gone!
51:46He's gone!
51:47Oh, my word!
51:48Fuck it, Tim!
51:49It's late.
51:50Nothing much longer.
51:55What'd you start?
51:57Next up, Rabbi Pili Dunant, the 2CV crasher.
52:033...2...1!
52:08Due to the rabbi's lack of experience,
52:14the Stig had offered to act as co-driver on his timed lap.
52:20He's a big deal to the nomination of support, baby.
52:22Yeah. Come on, Benangu!
52:26But the collective goodwill of all the religions
52:28wasn't enough to keep him on the racing line of righteousness.
52:38So could Riggsian, the Vajrayana Buddhist, do better?
52:45I should make it clear that I have never done anything like this in my life, ever.
53:02His elders had instructed him to drive at the speed of light
53:05and he was taking them quite literally.
53:08Even the Zen master Stig was impressed.
53:15But would he be impressed with the Bishop of Lewes?
53:32But much better.
53:35Next up, the hot favourite, the Reverend Anthony Felton White from Revelation Racing.
53:39Go!
53:40And he didn't disappoint.
53:43Second gear.
53:45Apex this one early.
53:46Get it in.
53:46Get it in.
53:47Get it in.
53:49Push it hard.
53:56Who's got the nerve?
53:57Who's got the nerve?
53:58Hard on Brex.
53:59Hard on Brex.
53:59Take it in.
54:00Take the bend early.
54:01See, he has got to do it again, isn't he?
54:03Look at that.
54:04Go.
54:05That's it.
54:06Ah!
54:07Ah!
54:08Ah!
54:08Ah!
54:09Yes!
54:10Yeah!
54:11Woo-hoo-hoo!
54:12That was scaringly good.
54:15A truly biblical lap from the Church of England, but the Roman Catholic Church was equally determined.
54:21Go!
54:21That looked committed.
54:27He means business.
54:28No!
54:29No!
54:45No!
54:47Now, I have the results here.
54:51But, before we get to that, this is the car they were driving, okay?
54:56We told the people we borrowed it from they were just a few vicars, couldn't possibly come to any harm.
55:04Look at this. Look at this down here and look what happened underneath.
55:10Smashed off and broken.
55:13So, which one of you lot is responsible?
55:19Come on, own up.
55:21The bishop!
55:23The bishop is responsible!
55:26Now, who...
55:31Who would like to see how he did it?
55:35Play the tape.
55:36Well, there we are. How do you feel?
55:48Unrepentant.
55:49Unrepentant.
55:54Very good.
55:56Right.
55:59Time for the results. Richard, will you care to join me?
56:02Oh, yes.
56:03In last place, and sadly not here, at work, Mark Lee from Harry Kraschner, as it's now known.
56:11One minute, 56 seconds.
56:14In fifth place, Rabbi Pini Dunner, you did crash, I mean, how surprised can you be? With one minute, 55.
56:20In fourth place, from the Buddhists, it's Riggs-In, forgive me for being a breather, well done, one minute, 45 seconds.
56:29And then in third place, despite ruining the calm that we borrowed, Bishop Wallace Ben, Church of England, of course, one minute 42.
56:38So, last two, it's a straight two-cornered fight between the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of England, and it's the 16th century all over again.
56:49The Catholics come in second.
56:52Father Simon Sonson with one minute 40, which means the winner, the fastest faith, is the Church of England, and the Reverend Anthony Felten-White.
57:03Hooray!
57:07And Jason...
57:11Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
57:13Thank you so much.
57:20Oh, delightful.
57:23And that is pretty much the end of the show.
57:28Let's look in at the bus lane.
57:30Nope, still nothing going on there.
57:32I think next week we won't bother doing anything to do with the environment.
57:35In fact, I think we might kick a couple of barn owls to death just for fun.
57:40In fact, we're going to be doing driver's cars.
57:42400 horsepower is the minimum level for entry.
57:45We're also going to be turning our Suzuki Liana into an aga and a lada into a lotus.
57:52See you then. Good night.
57:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
57:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
57:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
57:56AND APPLAUSE
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