- 3 months ago
Episode 4 is packed with unusual challenges. Jeremy attempts a round-trip in an Audi A8 diesel to Edinburgh and back on just one tank. Meanwhile, James races a StreetKa against a professional homing pigeon using satnav, and Jeremy & Richard play darts with cars plus a compressed-gas cannon in a quarry. Guest: Snooker legend Ronnie O’Sullivan takes on the Reasonably Priced Car. Gear-heads and oddity lovers will want to watch every minute.
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MotorTranscript
00:00tonight some big challenges can you play darts with cars which is faster a ford or a pigeon
00:11and can this new porsche break the lap record on our track
00:16good evening and welcome to the audi a8 now this one has a twin turbocharged v8 diesel engine does
00:28naught to 60 in six seconds and that's brilliant but surely the whole point of a diesel engine
00:34is fuel economy so i thought i'd set myself a bit of a challenge see if i could drive this
00:40enormous car from london to edinburgh on a single tank of fuel now who thinks that's possible
00:47you think it's possible no anyone think it is possible i mean that's you think it is possible
00:54definitely definitely you see this my car does 270 miles before it's out yeah my mum's forever
01:00telling me that her little honda jazz does 340 miles you think i could do 400 miles in that
01:06all right what if i up the ante a bit what if what if i tried to drive from london to edinburgh
01:11and then back to london again on a single tank no you don't think so right well you're the experts
01:20well sort of thank you so that's 800 miles now yeah in this car v8 twin turbo yep no modifications
01:27one tank of fuel nope it's a stupid idea yeah yeah you're mad unless you fill the fill the whole boot
01:32with diesel you're not gonna do it i agreed with that but fuel's now running out at what
01:37450 about 450 a gallon so probably a good time now to see just how many miles you can eek
01:44from a gallon i therefore accepted my own challenge my name is jack bauer and this is the most
01:51economical 24 hours of my life
01:53it's 7 a.m and this is a good time to start partly because the roads are quiet and partly because this
02:05is a good time for filling up with fuel you see in a morning when it's cold and it is very cold this
02:15morning fuel is more dense than it is on a hot afternoon so you're getting a little bit more for
02:24your money one thing though don't whatever you do forget to take any unnecessary weight out of the boot
02:33right i've got nineteen point eight gallons in the tank and a journey of eight hundred miles ahead
02:47of me that means averaging forty point four miles to the gallon a tall order in a car as powerful as
02:57this even audi say that what i'm attempting to do is impossible they say this car only do 37 miles to
03:05the gallon and that i won't make it back there are one or two things i can do to help though
03:16you have to make sure the car cuts as smooth a hole as possible in the air driving with the window down
03:22for instance increases fuel consumption by five percent and to make matters worse you can't use
03:29the air conditioning either because that does even more damage in a honda civic for instance if
03:37you get 36 miles to the gallon normally you turn the aircon on that drops to 30 miles to the gallon you lose
03:43six mpg in fact you shouldn't use any electrical gadgets unless it's absolutely necessary the heated rear
03:52windows are complete no-no and heated seats forget it happily the radio uses such a small amount of
04:01power that i can use that but surveys have shown that fast aggressive music causes drivers to grow lead
04:08feet so fresh metal doesn't just hurt your ears it damages your wallet as well on this journey then
04:17it'll be radio two all the way so was that a hit again in the 90s in 95 97 or 99 97 i don't know
04:30now i was 97 you see sad cafe there's one interesting thing i've noticed that when i started i had the
04:37cruise control on and i was averaging according to the trip computer about 32 33 miles to the gallon
04:42since i've taken the cruise control off and i'm using my own foot i've got it up to an average of 40
04:47miles to the gallon which is nearly good enough it's amazing how much thinking and concentrating you
04:53have to do to drive economically you got to think is that guy gonna pull out i've got to match my speed
04:58to him lifting off you must never ever brake ever ever touch the brakes ever if people concentrated
05:05this hard to drive fast no one would ever crash ever
05:17ah this is the northeast where there are many hills and hills are a big problem for the economy-minded
05:24motorist the trick is to build up speed before you get to an incline and then try not to accelerate
05:32when you're on it so thrash metal for going down a hill and then the carpenters for going up the other
05:42side reach the crest and off and i've still only done 39 miles to the gallon what more do you want from me
05:51six hours on the road i think i do want a wee but i can't stop because that would mean starting the
06:06engine again and starting an engine uses a load of fuel so new york taxi driver trick and you're not
06:13allowed to watch now if i'd come to edinburgh in a petrol powered audi a8 i'd need to find a filling
06:23station but thanks to the diesel engine in this one i don't the thing is though it might not need a drink
06:34but i do so i think i'll find somewhere to stay and we'll pick this up again in the morning
06:48time i think for a status report in the news isn't good we know it to be 400 miles back to london and if
06:57we look at the trip computer it tells me that i will run out of diesel in 340 miles i can take some
07:06comfort from the good old-fashioned fuel gauge which says i have half a tank good half a tank to
07:11get here therefore half a tank to get back except i didn't use half a tank getting here i used half a
07:18tank plus the amount that was in the fuel filler pipe thing and that was probably half a gallon that's
07:2523 miles 23 miles that i don't have on the return leg i think i'm going to wind up on the hard shoulder
07:38well we'll find out later on whether i make it back or whether i have to use a tow truck but now
07:45the news absolutely big news this week of course the motor show is on at the nec right now no it isn't
07:51well if you want to be pedantic it's not over there now it'll be shut look it's on over the next two
07:57weeks it's open over the next two weeks at the nec yeah all right i'll let you have that thank you
08:01yeah and i'm going to be going and the car that i'm going to make a beeline for is this new noble right
08:07now noble small british manufacturer they've been making a car called the m12 for ages and ages we love
08:13it love it it handles beautifully anyway they've decided now to go after a ferrari with this
08:22that is a sexy looking car it's called the m14 as you can see uh it's 75 000 pounds does 190 miles
08:29an hour basically the same as the m12 underneath same engine and so on but really a very beautiful
08:34thing that we really like it but the best thing about it the best thing right is it's got this rev
08:38counter and when you start off it's blue the actual needle is blue then when you get higher up
08:44pink then when you go in the red zone it turns we've got a film of it look watch this look pink red
08:49blue pink red i mean i'd pay 75 000 pounds just for that well i'm going to do what i've been doing
08:58pretty much every year since i was 12 really which is walk in go straight to the ferrari stand because i want
09:03to look at the 612 scalietti a proper v12 front engine ferrari 199 miles an hour four seats that's
09:12my kind of ferrari we've got that here not exactly big crowds i would say cleaning the stand i think
09:19that is that was taken on press day no one's interested we have a very good reason for that
09:24we talked about this a couple of weeks ago on the cool wall now the problem with this car is it was
09:28designed by a man called ken we've never heard of anyone called ken who's cool ever so we thought
09:37it can't be a cool car because ken styled it but then we thought hang on well i certainly believe
09:42that somewhere out there there is a cool ken so we invited people to to send it and if we can find a
09:48cool ken then the car moves up the cool wall to become cool we've had a number of emails and letters
09:54thousands and thousands and the best one the coolest ken to send us his picture is this chap
10:03now the idea was he had to write i'm ken and i'm cool not i'm ken and i noticed that you've got a
10:09big overdraft which is what that guy would have said we're not quite there yet oh no we're not
10:15stays where it is he tells us he's buying a boxster i don't think that's going to improve his image
10:19back to the motor show if we could i'm going to be going straight to the tvr stand to see the
10:23cigaris because it is as far as i'm aware the first car ever designed by an axe murderer look
10:31see now clearly he finished it didn't like it and then went berserk and cut it a bit look at it
10:39that is just i hate this roof it's rubbish that is going to be a fabulous machine 400 brake horsepower
10:45195 miles an hour for about 50 000 i'm looking forward to that of course the big star of the
10:50motor show without a question of doubt is the porsche carrera gt no doubt about that 312 000 here
10:56it is 312 000 pounds 200 and something miles an hour but we can save you a trip to burning and just
11:02hang on about 40 minutes we've got it here on our track going bananas oh yes so that's something to
11:07look forward to um oh yeah one thing about the motor show we ought to make plain if you want to see a
11:12bmw there uh have a look around the car park because bmw have decided in their infinite wisdom
11:18not to bother turning up seriously they're not there with any cars and we don't get that because
11:24i think i'm right in saying the uk is the world's third biggest market yeah we buy more bm's than
11:29anyone except for the americans and the german so it's not like we don't matter to them no and it
11:33isn't as though they don't know where birmingham is i mean they just have to ask their dads
11:36they found it i mean let's be honest the nec was built on waste ground created by the luftwaffer
11:44who were powered by bmw engines absolutely because 88 had bmw engines there's no doubt
11:50i actually rang bmw and said why aren't you going to the motor show in britain and they said oh well
11:55bmw in germany doesn't want to fund it they don't think it's worth it what they don't do motor shows no
11:59no no no they're going to still go to american motor show they'll go to the german motor show they'll
12:03go to the japanese motor show just not us so it's personal it's a personal thing so we've had an
12:08idea so we have come up with the plan and it's a good one okay this is what we do we worked it out
12:14we reckon it costs a manufacturer about five million quid to get a motor show by the time they've bought
12:19the stand space and put all the people in the cars on it okay five million quid so we're looking for a
12:24hundred volunteers who were going to be buying say an x5 bmw not to buy one by a range rover instead it's a
12:33better car so you're getting a better car anyway and of course a hundred people 50 grand a pop that
12:37adds up to five million quid so we'll have cost them what they would have spent on the motor show
12:42anyway please write to us and tell us the seven series would work as well but yeah jack it's better
12:48shall i do something very serious go on okay i'd just like to tell you about the top gear 2004
12:53motoring survey now this is the biggest survey of its kind in the world we want to hear from you if
12:58you bought a car registered between the year 2000 on a y plate or 2003 on a 52 plate all you have to
13:06do is log on bbc.co.uk forward slash top gear click the button survey you want to know is your dealer
13:14any good is your car reliable has it broken down do you get a cup of tea when you go for a service all
13:18this sort of thing this is your chance to use your misfortune to help other people
13:23i want to talk about emails if i may um as you know all you ever get on your email in the morning
13:30is would you like a bigger genital yeah and a friend has sent you something that isn't funny
13:36that takes half an hour to download however we were sent an email the other day was quite funny and it
13:41had a car in it so we thought well we'll share it with you a pigeon look and a ford sport cap
13:53now i thought that was a bit mean on the pigeon so i decided to set that car a little challenge
14:10this is a racing pigeon he's like a valuable thoroughbred in a sky full of vermin a good one
14:16of these is worth 11 000 pounds and this is the ford sport car it's also worth 11 000 but it doesn't
14:25defecate on your hand now the question is which is fastest in a race the car or this pigeon the sport
14:33car peaks at 108 miles per hour and the pigeon maxes out at 70 but top speed is not the issue in
14:41this race oh no you see the racing pigeon is nature's ultimate navigator it can find its way
14:47from point to point faster than just about any living thing but is it a match for the most advanced
14:57satellite navigation system money can buy this is the x1 two and a half grams worth of 21st century
15:04gadgetry it covers 3.7 million miles of road and it's got more computing power than bill gates's briefcase
15:14right here's the challenge we're all starting down here in windrush which is in the cotswolds and we're
15:21racing about 100 miles to mansfield which is just north of nottingham up here a minute to go minute to
15:26go i'm going to fire up my x1 this is easy address search city mansfield poplar grove p o it's got it
15:38already 30 seconds to go one two three four five different routes it's suggesting but the red one
15:46is the quick one that's 122 miles a journey time of two hours 13 minutes
15:52today the pigeon should average 50 miles per hour so it's going to be close right here we go mankind's
16:10finest a to z versus a bird brain and may the best thing win now you probably think the pigeon just
16:23goes straight from a to b as the crow flies but actually it doesn't boffins now believe pigeons
16:30use roads and rivers as route finders and the earth's magnetic field as a compass by contrast
16:36my sat nav is guided by 12 satellites from space
16:43on half a mile turn right why don't miss the bird of course has a bird's eye view but in fact
16:51so do i look at this
16:59of course there are lots of obstacles down here that he doesn't have to contend with
17:02i do get some warnings of this stuff on my sat nav information about accidents and hold-ups are
17:08broadcast this system picks them up and then it automatically re-routes me no intervention from
17:13me it just does it can a pigeon do that no does a pigeon need to no with 90 minutes gone the sat nav has
17:23guided me nicely around some accidents and i'm on the m1 with just 30 miles left but then oh dear
17:29an m1 traffic jam and it hasn't told me advantage pigeon
17:39with just 15 miles to go i'm on the b roads and this is where the sport car is at its best
17:45in corners it sticks like pigeon guano to a car bonnet
17:52the sat nav will back me up on this because it even has a gizmo for measuring sideways g-force
17:59but this is a mere sideshow distraction because the sat nav says i have just three miles to go
18:11go go
18:14yeah all right oh we're very close
18:18you have arrived at your destination yes made it
18:21are you are you where john lives with the pigeon no you got a pigeon
18:30his name's john i think john
18:33poplar grove forest town mansfield this isn't forest town this is with church wasop
18:38this isn't forest town that's why we can find it on our machine it's all right it'll it'll find it for
18:43us if you right this thing is only as good as the bloke who programs it which in this case is a
18:49complete clot what i should have done is use the machine's new seven digit postcode locator get the
18:55man in the satellite to twiddle his zoom lens there we go that's where we're going that cock up has
19:02cost me 25 minutes and put me three miles off course finally pigeon central but is it too late have we
19:10lost i'm afraid so can i see the bird that beat us please uh there's 14 in there 14 that really is
19:20rubbing it in pigeon was in his 11 48 and 40. it was a massacre even without my mistake the pigeons
19:27would still have won by half an hour right we've lost let's go home there's a good effort now the thing
19:38is james that i drove this sport car around the track this morning it was fantastic little thing
19:43it's an excellent car really brilliant i mean the engine's a bit strangled but compared to i don't
19:47know a citroen c2 gt way way way better a good value excellent and the satellite navigation that
19:53you had in there it's brilliant absolutely brilliant and yet because you programmed it wrong you lost
20:00the race yeah and as a result of your incompetence we now have to say that if anybody out there
20:06wants to buy a small nippy agile fast hatchback they have to buy a pigeon now over the years
20:14subaru and mitsubishi have been locked in combat trying to outperform out handle and out horsepower
20:20each other with their road going rally cars and the other thing is every time they launch a new model
20:25they try and outdo each other with the quantity of letters and numbers after the car's names so these
20:31are the two new models this is the subaru impreza sti wrx wr1 this is the mitsubishi lancer evolution
20:428 mr fq 3 20. now we could have just done an ordinary road test on these cars but to be honest that's not
20:52the point what really matters between these two is which one is the fastest and there's only one solution
20:57to that it's called the stick right the evo launch is clearly off the line i was a bit worried that
21:03the weight of all that badging might slow it down but it seems pretty good so far heartbreaking into
21:08chicago lots of tire squeal but it's very tidy now we come down of course towards the real test shortly
21:15hammerhead we'll see what happens with four-wheel drive and a clever active your control differential
21:20there's a bit of understeer there so could it pick up the pace when we get to the follow-through let's see
21:25oh that's much better
21:29oh look at that two corners to go
21:33almost on the grass there stig thinks he's actually in a rally siding into gambon and across the line
21:39in are you ready yes go on one minute 26 exactly which is that's nearly as quick as the guy
21:48lamborghini guy i know that is that's a very very quickly is where's the old one down here look so
21:54it's about two nearly three seconds faster than the old one and there's the old imprezzo 130 i mean
22:01that is a very fast car very fast which means the pressure really is on the subaru let's see how it does
22:08so the subaru really is up against it smoking off the line up to the first corner and there's understeer
22:13there that's not a good start chicago now and more understeer
22:23right now the real test through the hammerhead oh my word that is awful the imprets are already
22:28four horsepower down on the evo so it's got to out handle it to beat its time good through the
22:33follow-through maybe oh look at that maybe it can pull something out of the bag much better in the
22:40penultimate corner they're more understeering gambon and across the line i've never heard so much tire
22:47squeal from any car out there i know it was astonishing wasn't i'm not expecting a fast time no well it is
22:52one minute 29.4 nine nine so it's only a bit faster than the old one yes which was 130 being removed and
23:01it's actually slower than the old evo eight fq 300 yeah so there we are i think the stig actually
23:11got up one of his rare utterances he said that the subaru was a good boy's car but that the mitsubishi
23:17is a man's car see there we go another question answered now we know this is the faster car
23:22therefore the mitsubishi is the better car mind you if you think the evo is fast wait till you see
23:30our guest tonight he can do 147 in like 15 seconds without a car and that's because he is
23:39the world's snooker champion ladies and gentlemen ronnie o'sullivan is here
23:43first of all hearty congratulations on the big win yeah feel good yeah it was great you know it's
24:02uh my dream to win the world title to win it twice was you know even better fantastic and they are saying
24:07now that you are the greatest natural talent at snooker ever yeah now i know for a fact that you
24:16were a very keen car enthusiast from an early age yeah and then when you started making it in snooker
24:21they gave you a rover 216 yeah i was chuffed i was happy with that because i'm thinking it's an incentive
24:28i think that's probably not a bad idea for all sportsmen give them a rover it's an incentive to
24:33do better 214 start winning you can buy yourself a decent car exactly yeah yeah yeah so you got going
24:42and your first car was what then you really when you started the bmw 318i 318 yeah oh dear
24:50did you crash it uh yeah i did yeah it was the police police's fault was it really because they
24:57were following me and i knew they was going to pull me over but they just kept following me and i just
25:00kept looking in my mirror and i went to turn right but i weren't looking forward you know what's coming
25:04the other way so i was guilty yeah didn't you once crash a car into a hotel reception yeah yeah we was uh
25:11it was in blackpool we were standing in this nice hotel and i was driving up the driveway and i just
25:16you know a bit too too fast and i ended up going through the reception sort of so what do you
25:22drive now then now you've smashed your bmws up um i've got a mercedes and a bentley a mercedes
25:28uh 500 sl a 500 i know oh dear i know a world champion and you've only bought the 500 it's been
25:37lucky for me so that's why i'm don't want to get rid of it but it's a bit wet i mean it's all right
25:43it does me it barely moves you might as well get a new one then get an armchair and get your mum to
25:48push you around you know the same thing get 55. so you got a bentley as well the gt one oh the
25:54continental that's really nice you like that i like driving don't you think it's a bit of a volkswagen
25:59no really no it is is it yeah well aston's a ford didn't they yeah have you seen the db9 yeah i've seen
26:06the db9 yeah and you think that's a lovely car very nice yeah you're gonna get one uh my mum she's a
26:13bit strict on me spent you know that's what she is because you've got the world record haven't you
26:20for the fastest 147 the fastest 147 which was how long five minutes 20. big prize money as well for
26:26that wasn't it about 170 grand for five minutes 20 i'd gone by db9 honestly just go do it again in
26:37about five minutes 50. do you that's important will they pay you that again if you beat it again
26:41uh yeah i've had it since i just do it every day um now i guess you've been looking because you
26:48cancelled your holiday to come and do this didn't you well sort of yeah he's a bit keen to come and
26:55give this one a whirl we have this thing on the show every week where we keep a chart for how late
27:02our guest is the star in a reasonably priced car currently it was simon cowell okay he was one
27:08hour 15 minutes late jordan blew that away a full two hours late this guy rocked up four hours before
27:16being asked to four hours early so you are a pretty keen car person i've made up i can't wait to get here
27:27i was gonna come there last night
27:28who'd like to see the lab yeah okay here we go let's have a look
27:37well you've managed to make that thing wheel spin further than anyone else
27:42what i say ronnie that's very good that's very very good through there now let's look under steer close
27:48to the light a bit wide a bit wide a bit wide you rescued that one that's all right that's all right
27:56hammerhead hard one this one
28:04i don't know it's hard to say it's a bit like that watching those evos earlier
28:09it's a hard one to call because he's more aggressive than jody kidd was that's nice
28:13i like the cook you keep your foot in it no i'll tell you to go get to lift off the gambol and across the line
28:23apparently
28:30apparently that was your fastest lap even though you had to lift but you have to lift for gambol anyway
28:36so it's no big deal are you ready for the time where do you think you're going to come
28:39about 150 150 151 no what worse faster than 150 ah 148
28:50you're up to jk jody kidd speed there yeah jody kidd faster
28:57i'm 47.6
29:02you are 147.3
29:09into second place
29:15you're probably feeling a bit gutted about that i am yeah don't worry though because you've now got
29:20the chance to get your own back all right come with me come with me okay right now you see the thing
29:26is what we've got here is a snooker table or as richard hammond said when he arrived here this morning
29:31crazy football pitch
29:35now as you can see we've got four red bulls there okay so what we were wondering is can you sink
29:41everything on this table that's how many balls
29:4414 14 balls yeah faster than the stig can get round the lap
29:50okay now normally at the crucible if somebody's mobile phone goes off
29:57big distraction what happens they get thrown out they get thrown out because that's a distraction
30:01we've got a slightly bigger distraction than that for you would you like to have a look what car
30:08the stig's going to be driving while you're doing this turn around on that telly can we show it what is that
30:17it's his
30:21mercedes sr
30:22they actually did the same thing to me once just nicked the car um all right so here we go we
30:36reckon that car because it is only a 500 it's not going to be that fast we reckon about 135 140
30:4314 balls in one minute 40 seconds
30:45let's let's give it a whirl you're allowed to uh you're allowed to take the break okay and be
30:55satisfied with the position of the red before we start the clock okay here we go
31:00you've missed oh no wait yeah you'll take that okay so right here we go
31:08ready hold on i'll start you three two one go
31:12oh he's got one in oh there's a lot of tire smoke there ronnie and it's your tires
31:20try not to be put off he's coming up to the first corner now oh my word he's got a bit of backspin
31:27there he's off he's off the track here we go now where's he got to he's coming up to chicago now let's
31:37be having a look at what he's doing he's not got much power to play with
31:39no no the backspin's nearly off again how's he going here one more no he's on the paint one more
31:47ready to go as the stick is now heading toward the hammerhead get out the way the world's worst
31:56referee brought in here we go right that's all the red's gone and the stick is now he really is
32:02he's got understeered up don't look at the screen man he's going to slow you down don't be just
32:08he's fighting he's wrestling okay he's coming out now to the follow through this is where you have the
32:13problem he's gone he's really moving he's nearly off the track there go on stig go on stingy
32:30he's going he's going to miss
32:31he's in the last corner he's on the second to last corner teddy and he's coming up to the last corner
32:45oh boy oh look at that
32:47all of a sudden my challenge looks a bit pathetic
33:06earlier on in the show i was attempting to get from london to edinburgh and then back to london again
33:10in a v8 twin turbo audi diesel we left the action in edinburgh with the trip computer saying i was
33:18going to run out because i'm going to do it in a single tank i was going to run out 60 miles north of
33:24london they're all probably thinking what is the big deal i mean if you fail if you run out it's not
33:35like you're going to skip off the earth's atmosphere and be lost in space forever that's true but i
33:41will wind up on the hard shoulder and a that's illegal driving on a motorway knowing that you're
33:47going to have to stop and b you can't just fill up a diesel engine from a little can and then set
33:53off again you have to bleed the whole system and do you think i want to do that on a hard shoulder
33:58after an 800 mile drive that is why i really want to make it really want to make it
34:05i can't see where i'm going and i can't turn my heater on because i have no amps
34:21i'm so cold this is dangerous i have to turn my heater on
34:26oh that's so nice but powering up the heater to demiss the windows played havoc with the re-entry
34:39procedure
34:46this is north yorkshire and that fuel gauge is now
34:49as near as makes no difference really into the red i have to average 40.4 miles to the gallon but
34:58since i left edinburgh well i've only averaged 35 miles to the gallon and that's nowhere near enough
35:05just nowhere near enough
35:13the fuel warning light is on it's on as i go past nottingham so nottingham to london on reserve fuel
35:22that's going to be interesting
35:23at no point on this journey and i've now been on the move for 15 hours and 17 minutes have i exceeded
35:351200 rpm basically tick over this engine must be thinking what has bought the car it must be the
35:42manager of a mattress company
35:49but despite the careful driving the trip computer still said i was going to miss london by 35 miles
35:58remember that scene in apollo 13
36:01jim lovell fred hayes the other one in their little capsule freezing cold only got 12 amps to get back
36:09gotta shut the computer down gotta shut it all down shut it down now
36:15we've never lost a top gear presenter on a mission it's not about to happen on my watch
36:22except of course i think it probably is going to happen on my watch
36:29right it's 45 miles to get back to the petrol station where we started and i have hit a traffic jam
36:43the computer's saying i've got 10 miles to go before i run out the fuel gauge is off the bottom now
36:49things i'm afraid at this point just outside milton keen's they look bleak so it's time really to do what
36:56uh they always do in hollywood disaster films and that's reach for a photograph of uh of my children
37:06it's my kids tell them i love them if i don't make it back tell them i love them so much
37:13we're moving again we're picking up speed i'm up to 40 miles an hour come on yes yes i'm gonna make it
37:29i've been told to expect a misfire before the engine actually stops
37:34this is a sort of last minute warning an electronic kind of interference to say you
37:39really have got to stop and put some fuel in there but still i don't have this i don't have this misfire
37:51that's it the computer is now saying no miles no miles to go
37:56what is this thing running on every single dial and readout on my entire spacecraft car
38:10is telling me i'm out that's it
38:17that was a cough
38:18it keeps just coughing and then being okay again i wonder if audi know that they have inadvertently
38:27built the world's first air-powered engine what is it running on
38:35i can hear the fuel pump a very very very faint wine you can just hear it kind of sucking on nothing
38:42i will feel if i can make it back i will feel as though i know it sounds ridiculous as though this
38:54was a worthwhile thing i mean i've learned to drive quickly now i've learned to drive slowly come on
39:00come on i really can't break down here not in a contraflow i would sack myself from motoring
39:08journalism if that were to happen one mile to the end of the motorway one mile damn i can almost coast
39:15that come on come on come on i've honestly got like a tight knot in my stomach that i might just
39:25conceivably do this that's not a red light it is a red light for us
39:29holy mother of god i can see the garage
39:41talking yards now yards to go this is the garage i filled up at yesterday morning
39:49that ladies and gentlemen is how we do that
39:53this car has gone from london to edinburgh and back again with a v8 engine on one tank of fuel
40:12running
40:19management
40:21up
40:30i have to say
40:31i have to say
40:32that was the most mentally exhausting thing i've ever done yeah i looked at concentrate so hard but
40:38But the savings are absolutely amazing.
40:41I mean, this car, if you drove it normally, should do about 21 miles to the gallon.
40:45Now, by driving it super carefully, I got that up to over 40 miles to the gallon.
40:49So over a year, I would save you about 650 quid in fuel.
40:54You'd be rich.
40:55You'd be late.
40:56For everything, yeah.
40:57You did look a bit miserable as well, to be honest.
40:59And tired.
41:00Yes.
41:01God, it's awful.
41:01Obviously, you took that to extremes.
41:03Nobody's going to drive like that, really.
41:05No, no.
41:05But there are some tips we can take away from this.
41:07For instance, I now realise my boot is full of junk.
41:11And I'm actually paying extra to haul that weight around.
41:14Oh, absolutely.
41:14Weight is a complete killer.
41:16I mean, if you see two hitchhikers at the side of the road, leave the fat one.
41:19Yeah.
41:20Okay.
41:21Oh, there's something else as well.
41:22This time of year, you see people driving along on a camping holiday.
41:24They've got a garden chair on the roof.
41:26You know, I was talking about drag, aerodynamic drag.
41:28We worked out that if you drove that journey with a garden chair on the roof,
41:33the drag would mean you'd spend an extra £10.52 in fuel.
41:37Really?
41:37So it's cheaper to buy one when you're there.
41:39Oh, yeah, much cheaper.
41:40Yeah.
41:40Did you work that out on the way?
41:41Yeah.
41:42That's how bored I was.
41:42You really were.
41:43At various points.
41:44There's another one as well.
41:45And this is an amazing thing, which I didn't realise.
41:47Is, you know, when you're coasting up to a junction, you might knock it into neutral and think,
41:50I'm not using anything.
41:51In neutral, an engine uses a little bit of fuel to stop itself stalling.
41:55But if you coast up to a roundabout or traffic lights, okay, with you still in gear, drive
42:00all in gear, okay, like that, a modern engine uses no fuel at all, nothing.
42:06So you're getting those, like, 300 yards for free.
42:09Do you know what?
42:11What?
42:12I think I prefer the old Jeremy, to be honest.
42:14This is Jeremy.
42:15I prefer being the old Jeremy.
42:17You know, I don't like economy runs.
42:18But don't worry, normal service will be resumed in a few minutes.
42:21I think we should move on to something perhaps a little more fatuous.
42:26Now, in a James Bond film, there's always a scene where a car makes a preposterous leap
42:31through the air.
42:32And the way they do this is they fire the car off the end of this huge gas-powered cannon.
42:38Now, they're not making a James Bond film at the moment, so we were wondering, what else
42:42could you do with that cannon?
42:43This is a quarry, and here, painted on the floor of the quarry, is a very big dartboard.
42:55Up here, on this cliff, we have six used cars, which, if you squint, could look a bit like
43:03darts.
43:04So, dartboard cars.
43:06I think you can see where this is going.
43:09We're going to take it in turns to throw our darts at the dartboard.
43:12Three darts each, the highest score wins.
43:15Probably a speedboat or something.
43:18Now, because these cars weigh a little bit more than the average pub arrows, we'll need
43:24this.
43:27Our mega-powerful James Bond Cannon.
43:32It works using nitrogen, compressed at about 1,400 psi.
43:36It comes out at the end of the cannon, and it'll power the car forwards with a thrust of
43:40about 20 tons.
43:41Now, the important thing to know is this.
43:42We can vary the amount of pressure, which will affect the distance, and the angle of
43:47the car.
43:47So, we've got control over the power and the elevation.
43:51So, there is some skill in this.
43:52Oh, yes.
43:53Because we have such a motley collection of cars, we thought we'd start with two of roughly
44:00equal weight, to get our eye in.
44:02The Vauxhall Astra, and the Ford Orion.
44:06But who was to throw first?
44:09One, two, three.
44:12That was fair.
44:13I didn't...
44:14Now, I have no idea what I'm doing, so here goes nothing.
44:19I'll be ready.
44:20I'll be ready.
44:21I'll be ready.
44:22Yes!
44:26That's a 25.
44:27Yeah, alright, 25, I'll grant you that.
44:29That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
44:35Right, my dad.
44:37I always liked that shit.
44:40My dad had one, I crashed it.
44:43You're going to crash this one in a minute.
44:45Big star.
44:46Fractionally up from there.
44:47That is an oversheet, if ever I saw one.
44:49Just look and learn.
44:58Oh, that's...
44:59Now, that's a 10.
44:59It's a 25.
45:00That's a 10.
45:01It landed in a 10, easily.
45:03James, that is more 25 than yours.
45:05The entire car is on...
45:06Where the car lands, it landed in the...
45:08No, it didn't, that's where the...
45:09No, it didn't.
45:13That landed in the 10.
45:15This is where bits of...
45:16There's the groove in the ground where the car landed.
45:17And anyway, actually, no, the front would have been in the 25.
45:21Rubbish.
45:21Here is where the Vauxhall batch fell off.
45:23This is where they're conveniently placed.
45:25In the 10 circle.
45:31That's 10 points for you.
45:32Yes, OK.
45:32Making me 15 in front.
45:33Yes.
45:34So I get to choose cars.
45:35A full 1,200 PSI, please.
45:39More elevation.
45:40About 40 degrees.
45:45To make the bullseye a more exciting proposition, we've put...
45:49A caravan on it.
45:55That caravan, that is genius.
45:57Whoever thought of that addition...
45:59It was me.
46:00It's not a bad idea.
46:02Fire!
46:02That was rubbish.
46:08I mean, it was really good to watch, but it was just pathetic.
46:12Maybe it's not as heavy as I thought.
46:14No, I've asked for 800.
46:17I think you've overdone it.
46:18There's plenty of elevation.
46:20I don't know how.
46:21Fire!
46:25It's a 5.
46:26It was a 5.
46:27It was a 5.
46:27It was superb drama, but only a 5, I'm afraid.
46:30I thought that was going in, then.
46:32There.
46:34And I'm now on 15.
46:35Yes.
46:36Strike through the...
46:37All right!
46:37Yep.
46:38This is James' last car, and he is well in the lead.
46:43Okay, James.
46:44Are you ready?
46:45I'm braced.
46:48Yes!
46:49Yes!
46:49Yes!
46:54It's got to hit it.
46:54No, it's got to hit it.
46:55I have to admit, that was a 5.
46:57Still, it was a good one.
46:58And that you were right.
47:01Our final car is Hammond's Volvo.
47:03He's 15 points behind, and needs either an inner or a bully to win.
47:08But the real prize would be the caravan.
47:11It's quite a happy coming together, a Volvo and a caravan, but not in the way that we would expect.
47:18Fire!
47:22Go on!
47:23Yes!
47:26You can have that.
47:27Oh, yes!
47:29That was a good feeling.
47:30Volvo kills caravan.
47:3550 points.
47:36Final scores.
47:3830-65.
47:40But we are all winners, because the caravan bought it.
47:45You know...
47:46That's the 19th caravan we've destroyed on this programme in 12 months.
47:53I want to talk about the Germans.
48:00You see, I think there's a very good reason why their cars are different from ours.
48:05See, what I've got here is a copy of a leading British tabloid newspaper.
48:09And here's the motoring page.
48:11This is the most red motoring page in all of Britain.
48:14OK, what we've got here is a snappy headline, creme de la Kremlin.
48:17We've got a Range Rover.
48:19We've got a bloke here in a Cossack outfit.
48:20Can you see that?
48:21Look, here he is on the bonnet.
48:23And we know what that's all about.
48:24It's snappy, it's bright, and it's lively.
48:26Now, I want to show you a German motoring page, OK?
48:31It's just from the Frankfurt Algemeiner.
48:33Big popular paper over there.
48:35Forgive the photocopy, but that is their idea of a motoring page.
48:42They've got a raw plug.
48:43They've got a selection of drawings of how to fix things to walls.
48:47And at the bottom, a big bolt.
48:49And don't think it was like there were no cars to write about this week,
48:52because here, news in brief, look, there's the Wankel Vonderkid, the RX-8,
48:56and the Mercedes-Benz SLK.
48:58Now, I think this explains why their cars are like they are.
49:07This is the most exciting, the best-looking, the most expensive,
49:11and the fastest road-going Porsche ever made.
49:19It's called the Carrera GT.
49:23And I'm going to start by looking at it from a German's point of view.
49:28This is interesting.
49:30The crank is only 98.5 millimetres from the floor of the car.
49:36The reason why the crank is so low is because the clutch,
49:39which I have here, is so small.
49:42It's got two plates made from carbon fibre and silicon carbide.
49:46Sorry, that happens sometimes when I say silicon carbide.
49:54Anyway, let's see how much it weighs.
49:57Pop it in the scales that we have here.
49:59And we've got some sugar.
50:01There's two bags, three bags, and four bags.
50:08Oh, look at that.
50:09Less than four bags of sugar.
50:11I'm speaking to you now from inside one of the Venturi tunnels.
50:17And what I have here is a cutaway of one of the brakes.
50:21Also very light, because it's made from silicon carbide.
50:25All right.
50:26All.
50:27All.
50:28All.
50:29Pop it.
50:32At this point, a German would come out of the lavatory,
50:40say everything's perfect, and move on.
50:43But I'm not German.
50:45So let's look at it from a British point of view.
51:00Oh!
51:02I am just a mass of goose pimples.
51:14I've never had a feeling like this before.
51:16I've never felt anything like that.
51:25Listen to that engine!
51:27It's a 5.7-litre V10.
51:34Originally designed for racing.
51:37But now it's in a road car,
51:39and the effect is absolutely mind-blowing!
51:45The performance figures really are biblical.
51:49You get 612 brake horsepower,
51:51and that means 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds.
51:55Flat out, you'll be doing 205.
52:05Even in the fastest, most exotic cars,
52:09there's a point where the power starts to lose its battle with the friction of the air.
52:14But in this, there's no let-up at all!
52:21It's like it's moving in a vacuum!
52:24120, 130, 140, 150!
52:28It just isn't going to stop!
52:34Not only is it one of the fastest and most exciting cars I've ever driven,
52:38it is also one of the most beautiful.
52:41It isn't styled with the verve or the passion of a Ferrari or a Lamborghini.
52:50It's form following function,
52:53and every piece, every detail,
52:55is as precise and as perfect as Germany's rail timetable.
53:02Really, there's only one car this can be compared with.
53:05The McLaren-Mercedes SLR we tested two weeks ago.
53:10They both cost more than £300,000,
53:13and they both produce more than 600 brake horsepower.
53:17But there is a crucial difference.
53:21The Mercedes, that's a GT car.
53:24It's got a big boot, it's got thick carpet,
53:26it's got lots of luxury equipment.
53:28This, though, much more focused.
53:31Carbon fibre here,
53:32a magnesium transmission tunnel,
53:34a simple beachward gear lever.
53:38This is a supercar unplugged.
53:44As a result, it's much lighter than the McLaren,
53:48and that makes it nimbler and edgier.
53:50And that makes it more of a handful.
53:53Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
53:59You need to be awake to drive this fast.
54:03It really isn't an easy car to control.
54:06The clutch is brutal.
54:07The power is savage, and the handling,
54:09you really are on a knife edge.
54:11But, if you put in the effort...
54:16Boy, oh boy, do you get the rewards.
54:23I really need two brains,
54:27just to keep up with all the machinery in here.
54:30Boy, oh boy, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
54:45Normally, I like British and Italian cars,
54:48because they have so much soul and character.
54:52German cars are always finder, long on engineering, but a bit short on passion.
54:57This, though.
55:00My God.
55:04It's that good, really?
55:06It is a phenomenon.
55:08Honestly, mind-blowingly good.
55:10So, I'm expecting it to beat the McLaren Mercedes,
55:14which is at the top of the board, of course, 120.9,
55:17because they've both got the same power,
55:19but the Porsche is 240 kilos lighter,
55:22which is a lot.
55:23The thing is, though, that McLaren Mercedes is easy to drive, automatic.
55:29You can go very, very fast, and it's not difficult.
55:31The Porsche, well, put it this way.
55:34You know the Stig, right?
55:35Mighty car control.
55:36Oh, yes.
55:37He got into that Porsche.
55:38Right, here we go.
55:39And we've actually got a tape, which I think we can show you,
55:41of his first attempt.
55:42Where's that?
55:43Well, look.
55:44Here he comes, into the hammerhead,
55:46very close to the tyres, and honestly, it's a pig.
55:50It's a monster.
55:50If the Mercedes forgives you, that, make a mistake,
55:53it bites your head off.
55:54It's that simple.
55:55He had another go after that, spun it again, and again, and again.
55:58But then, after a whole morning's practising,
56:01he was ready to take on the Mercedes.
56:04OK, this is the big one.
56:08Masses of wheelspin off the line, down to the first corner.
56:11He has got to tread carefully.
56:13He knows that that big V10 landmine will bite.
56:16I am actually surprised he's playing his power ballads today,
56:25because really, he has...
56:26Look at that, through Chicago.
56:28He's gently on the power, doesn't want to lose it.
56:30He really doesn't want to lose it.
56:31Bit of a wiggle, he's OK.
56:32Coming up to the hammerhead.
56:34This is where he spun it before.
56:35Cannot afford a mistake now.
56:37He's already off the SLR's pace at this point, but now...
56:41This is maximum attack mode.
56:45He's really opening the taps now.
56:47Really, really working that manual gearbox,
56:49wringing out every millisecond advantage
56:51over the automatic McLaren.
56:53This is the second-to-last bend, hard on the ceramic brakes.
56:55Keep it steady, he's measuring out the power.
56:57Gambon corner.
56:59Oh, he's pushing it now, and there he is!
57:01OK, the McLaren Mercedes did it 120.9.
57:04We know that. Go on.
57:06Which is pretty fast, compared to all the others.
57:08Yes?
57:08Yes, and...
57:09Portia.
57:09Yes.
57:10Got it here.
57:12119.9!
57:15Fastest car we've ever had.
57:21However,
57:22don't get too excited.
57:26Don't get too excited,
57:27because next week, Britain fights back.
57:29We've got this rover coming.
57:32How about that?
57:33We will be driving it around the track.
57:35We'll see you then.
57:35Good night.
57:41He knows his cars, but do you know better?
57:44Have your say by emailing Clarkson at bbc.co.uk
57:48slash topgear.
57:49Next on BBC2,
57:51Kieran Dyer goes back to his roots
57:52in Football Diaries.
57:54xureens.
58:14Zasั้ner is a player in the Fox News and with you.
58:16Here is what he is doing.
58:16We'll see you then.
58:17We'll see you next time.
58:17Bye.
58:18Bye.
58:18Have a great day.
58:19Bye.
58:20Bye.
58:20Bye.
58:20Bye.
58:22Bye.
58:22Bye.
58:22Bye.
58:22Bye.
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