- 2 days ago
In Episode 2 of Season 18, the team split up: Richard Hammond heads to Texas to learn about NASCAR, while Jeremy and James explore China’s booming car industry in Beijing. Jeremy also reviews the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Roadster on the test track. Guest star: Matt LeBlanc.
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Tonight, I do a skid, Richard steals some tyres, and James gets kicked in the face.
00:00:20Thank you. Hello. Hello. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Now, let's get one
00:00:35thing straight from the start. Formula One is better than NASCAR. It just is. If you compare
00:00:45them two musical instruments, F1 is a Stradivarius violin, NASCAR is banging a saucepan with a
00:00:53wooden spoon. Now, we all agree on that in the civilised world. Well, when I say we all
00:00:58agree, we all agree apart from Richard J. Cheeseburger Hammond III.
00:01:15I'm not alone in believing in the supremacy of NASCAR. It's currently the most popular
00:01:23spectator sport in America. And there are many reasons why it hits the spot with the fans.
00:01:31The first is to do with its roots. Unlike Formula One, which began as a pastime for wealthy
00:01:42playboys and aristocrats, NASCAR has very humble blue-collar origins. NASCAR has its roots back
00:01:50in the 1940s when moonshine runners, basically naughty hicks smuggling illegal booze across
00:01:57county lines, would modify their cars to outrun the carps. One thing sort of led to another,
00:02:03and before you knew it, they were holding informal race meetings in the evenings on impromptu
00:02:08racetracks, and they kicked into the dirt in fields. The cars the moonshine runners favoured
00:02:16were ones like this, a respectable-looking 1941 Ford business coupe, which wouldn't raise
00:02:23the suspicions of a passing policeman. Clearly the man in such a car as this is going about
00:02:29his business. Why would the cops disturb him? Underneath, though, is a highly tuned engine,
00:02:36beefed-up suspension, and inside, a special hideaway for the illegal booze.
00:02:45Moonshine runners used this actual car. It smuggled hooky-boos across county lines,
00:02:52and then went on to race in NASCAR. It's the real deal.
00:02:58As the decades passed, the sport grew.
00:03:00This is one critical time when trouble could be mighty contagious.
00:03:04But that love of living outside the law remained.
00:03:08In the early 1950s, for example, roll cages were mandatory in NASCAR racing,
00:03:12but the drivers thought, eh, they added weight, and it was a bit wussy having a roll cage,
00:03:17so they just fitted them with things that looked like roll cages,
00:03:21made out of off-cuts of wood, say.
00:03:24Another reason I prefer this sport, apart from its rebellious streak,
00:03:36is that next to the spaceships you get in F1, NASCAR machines are beautifully simple.
00:03:43As was explained to me on race day at Texas Speedway.
00:03:49It's making, what, 800 horsepower?
00:03:51Closer to 900, yeah.
00:03:52900 horsepower.
00:03:53900 horsepower.
00:03:54And no electronic aids on this, it's just...
00:03:56No.
00:03:57It's literally carbureted.
00:03:59NASCAR wants the drivers to separate themselves on the track,
00:04:03so for myself, without having data, I have to explain all the sensations I feel in the car.
00:04:08Talk about, you know, spring changes, shock changes, geometry changes, yeah.
00:04:12So they're not downloading off a laptop?
00:04:14No.
00:04:15We don't even have a fuel sensor in the car to tell us when we're running out of gas.
00:04:17And these little things, these are the ones that...
00:04:19Yeah, yeah.
00:04:20Just to create some drag when the car spins around.
00:04:22There's also a right-side window that goes through...
00:04:23That's not going to stop you flipping.
00:04:25They've proven in the wind tunnel that it does.
00:04:27Now, what really helps is this.
00:04:29These deploy.
00:04:30When there's a low-pressure area on the top, these deploy and help set the car down.
00:04:35So that stops you spinning and flipping?
00:04:38You have these here as well.
00:04:40Hey, that's high-tech.
00:04:41That's like a Land Rover's air vents at the front, to be honest.
00:04:44It's not mega high-tech.
00:04:48If you're a Formula One fan and a NASCAR cynic,
00:04:51I think I know exactly what you'd be saying if you were here.
00:04:57This looks... well, easy.
00:04:59I mean, you just keep your foot down, keep turning left, and that's kind of it, really.
00:05:05Whereas in Formula One, there's corners and stuff to remember.
00:05:08It's tricky.
00:05:09So, do these drivers, who can earn up to £15 million a year, have an easier time of it than F1 drivers?
00:05:18Well, let's ask a man who's raced in both sports.
00:05:22To drive, I always say there's nothing drives like a Formula One car.
00:05:25But this is a lot more unpredictable.
00:05:27They slide around a lot.
00:05:29They have no brakes.
00:05:30I mean, when I tell you, no brakes.
00:05:33Because the car is so heavy and the brakes are so tiny.
00:05:40I got to say, the ovals, I think, are more challenging.
00:05:43And it's because the corner starts way over there, and it ends way over there.
00:05:48And is the car moving?
00:05:51The car's moving all the time.
00:05:53It's never settled.
00:05:55And then you take the cars all around you with turbulent air.
00:06:00If they're on the outside of you, it's pulling you around.
00:06:02If they're in front of you, you just don't have the grip.
00:06:06That's when the entertainment value goes up tremendously.
00:06:10Because, you know, when you're averaging over 190 miles an hour with that many cars,
00:06:14are inches away from one another.
00:06:16And we'll be three and four wide through these corners.
00:06:20You go to Silverstone, you sit in a stand, and you go...
00:06:23You wait one and a half minutes, and they go...
00:06:25See if the order's changed.
00:06:26Yes.
00:06:27But most likely, it won't.
00:06:29They used to give awards because, oh, they overtake it of the year,
00:06:32and you pass three people in the whole freaking year.
00:06:34So, lots of close racing in cars that are tricky to drive.
00:06:39Which means, as a bonus, you get lots of these.
00:06:44Good record!
00:06:49It's a contact sport, put it that way.
00:06:51A lot of times, the contact that's made is either out of frustration,
00:07:03the guy wants to get another guy out of the way.
00:07:05You can't just ram him because you can't overtake.
00:07:07If you have bumpers, you do.
00:07:10And when there is a coming together,
00:07:12NASCAR drivers don't bother settling it with a steward's inquiry.
00:07:16Let's see if they're going to fight.
00:07:17The heart looks really mad at my toy.
00:07:19We're going to fight, break it out.
00:07:21And here he comes.
00:07:22He's going back here, and we're going to have a little talk.
00:07:27This, too, is a bonus for the hardcore fans,
00:07:29who are not often mistaken for Harvard professors.
00:07:37On race weekends, their main diet is beer and red meat.
00:07:43What if you were spotted eating a salad?
00:07:46And they get a lot more access than F1 fans.
00:07:53These are actual fans being driven out.
00:07:55Yeah, these are fans that have lined up,
00:07:57that have paid to go around the track with a professional
00:08:00or some kind of driver.
00:08:01See, they're in F1.
00:08:02If they can do this in F1, I'm coming to more F1 places.
00:08:04But they're in a pack of cars.
00:08:05They're not even on their own, just one car.
00:08:07Look at this.
00:08:08These are just spectators, you or me.
00:08:10I didn't see how I might get the same chance to drive on that oval.
00:08:19But then I was told to report to the driver's briefing,
00:08:22where I was in for a surprise.
00:08:24This is from the United States Air Force,
00:08:26four-star General General Mark A. Welch III,
00:08:28and his wife Betty Welch.
00:08:30From Top Gear UK, today's honorary pace car driver from Birmingham,
00:08:42England, Richard Hammond.
00:08:53Race time arrived.
00:08:59After the national anthem had finished,
00:09:03the man with the jet pack had landed,
00:09:06and the B-52 bomber had flown past.
00:09:13It was time for me to lead the grid of 43 cars out on the formation lap.
00:09:21They're still coming in the back.
00:09:22There's millions of them.
00:09:27Don't stall, Hammond.
00:09:28Don't mess it up.
00:09:32Behind me, 39,000 horsepower was itching to get going.
00:09:39I don't look in the mirror.
00:09:40It's like being attacked by tigers.
00:09:43Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:09:47Oh, come on.
00:09:51Head road is clear.
00:09:54Green flag.
00:10:00We started that.
00:10:01Yep.
00:10:02We did that.
00:10:03And my treats weren't over, because I'd be spending the actual race helping one of the teams,
00:10:16who gave me a very important job.
00:10:18Well, I'm with the team.
00:10:19That's okay.
00:10:20That's okay.
00:10:21That's good.
00:10:22Oh, yeah.
00:10:23Now, I will admit, the one problem with NASCAR races is that they're over 500 laps long,
00:10:34so at this point there's only one thing we can do.
00:10:36We're gonna need a montage.
00:10:37We're gonna take some montage.
00:10:38Montage!
00:10:39Montage!
00:10:40Show that things happening at once.
00:10:42Remind everyone of what's going on.
00:10:43That's called a montage.
00:10:44Montage!
00:10:45Montage!
00:10:46Montage!
00:10:47You want a montage!
00:10:48Montage!
00:10:49Montage!
00:10:50Montage!
00:10:51Always fade out in a montage.
00:10:52If you fade out in a montage!
00:10:55That did the trick, and 530 laps later we had ourselves a winner.
00:10:59that did the trick and 530 laps later we had ourselves a winner three hours and 20 minutes
00:11:11of racing just flew by there's a man over there who won he's now firing six guns in the air
00:11:17wearing his new stetson and he's delighted and now the whole circus moves on to the next place
00:11:23to do it all again and there is a big argument here for saying this is proof f1 is bow-faced
00:11:29it could learn a lot from this
00:11:30the next morning at a deserted texas speedway there was one final treat in store this plus a driving
00:11:43lesson from nascar royalty kyle petty it doesn't feel like anything else i've ever driven this thing
00:11:51does not want to go in a straight line that's not what it does car only wants to turn left it doesn't
00:11:56want to go straight let the grass you got to run through the grass it's like mowing the yard you
00:12:00got to hit the grass all the way down all the way down all the way down i am so scared
00:12:10i am next to the wall eventually carl let me go out on my own
00:12:24letting it find grit trying not to fight it too much
00:12:31it's not just a big loop it's complex it's three-dimensional and i'm wrestling my way around
00:12:39and then just to add to my problems
00:13:08that's not what i wanted to see in the mirror that's too authentic
00:13:13i don't need that
00:13:21it's really good it was brilliant i loved it it was brilliant it's really good all right
00:13:41okay let's let's get this over with come on then mr f1 fan i'm braced and ready for your comments
00:13:50go i agree with you hey i do agree with you the americans are very bad at some things they can't
00:13:58say aluminium and they can't win a war without our help but they are very good at making dreary
00:14:06sports very exciting to watch let's just take for an example rounders right that's played by small
00:14:13children here over there is babe ruth and a religion and then you've got netball which here
00:14:18is just a lot of school girls standing so you can only move one foot and there's four parents
00:14:23watching and over there it's the what is it harlem globetrotters they are quite easily amused
00:14:29they're unbelievably easily amused and that's why they're able to make nascar exciting
00:14:33it's just some good old boys going around in a circle and they go oh i'll i'll pay watch that
00:14:38250 000 people turn up to watch it because it is a good sport it's a great thing to watch
00:14:44you would say that because you're an american not an american i'm not i'm not i'm not
00:14:49how many do you what you've got a stetson you've got cowboy boots you've got chaps you've got a
00:14:53harley davidson you've got a mustang you'd like to get a beer and you put cheese on everything
00:14:56i don't i'm not american you have made a living out of being an american your saturday night program
00:15:02is a fat man falling off some foam rubber all right hey we'll watch that and they turn up
00:15:09they turn up in their millions
00:15:11i'm not an american
00:15:18look no hammond i wish the americans ran a decent sport if they got formula one it would be fantastic
00:15:28because they would say look let's have sprinklers coming on at random points during the race and that
00:15:33would be fantastic and there'd be no more stewards inquiries and there'd be no more of this oh you've
00:15:37got a 10 second drive-by penalty because that just ruins the race they say okay hamilton and massa you
00:15:42don't get on after the race in your boxes on the winner's podium slug it out yeah
00:15:46i would watch that would you watch that i would watch that okay anyway we must do the news uh we're
00:15:53starting with the institute of advanced motorists you know the ones oh yeah them yeah they're the ones
00:16:03they say that you mustn't cross your hands on the steering wheel you gotta
00:16:06you've got to shuffle it like that and never drive one-handed they don't like that
00:16:09thank you for that is anyone here in the institute of advanced motorists like you're gonna confess it
00:16:17yeah me institute so you do this did you drive down here today like this
00:16:27you're a passenger oh you can knock yourself out then
00:16:29the institute of advanced motorists has launched a new thing called drive and survive well what
00:16:43rather than drive and die yeah that would never work drive and survive okay and the idea is okay what
00:16:49they've got is um every uh week they're offering motoring tips yes this week it's parking i'll give
00:16:56you a couple of examples they've come up with park on the left hand side of the road if possible and
00:17:03always at night what happens if you arrive at lunch time this morning you didn't did you idiot park
00:17:14always at night no no there's another one right this is one i really can't get when parking open your
00:17:20window in car parks and turn off your stereo you can often hear something before you can see it
00:17:29well a lamppost well lampposts actually make a very soft cooing sound do they
00:17:36i once heard like a squelching sound and then a pop but that was the neighbor's cat
00:17:44can we move on yes i have some news there is a new dodge viper being announced and apparently
00:17:49it's going to employ fiat technology on it which is well what they mean is there's a new dodge viper
00:17:53and it won't work properly is that basically i suspect that dodger a little worried about the
00:17:58styling they've chosen because this is the photograph they've sent it doesn't tell you a lot does it
00:18:06maybe it's shy hey now you know um sometimes you meet somebody who's got a growth on their face and
00:18:14it's actually bigger than their face no i mean one of those really ugly things no this is just a face
00:18:23i'm talking about a growth because face i bring i bring this up because there's a company in japan
00:18:30who's obviously used this growth thing as an inspiration for their new prius camper van here it is
00:18:37oh god it's the elephant car it is and so please treat you nobody knocked my cathedral over
00:18:47it's a monster no you've got a double bed in the back and then another one in that growth that is not
00:18:52a car that you could talk to at a party unless you were looking at something else is it now look
00:18:58there's um i've got news from renault they've got a new car i've got a picture of it here it's called the
00:19:02influenza it's a bit like that uh it's electric as you can see because there it is plugged in
00:19:09recharging and i was wondering when in the future when we're all driving electric cars as they tell
00:19:13us we will the cities are full of these charging points won't 10 year old boys just go around
00:19:19unplugging cars because that's what we would have done when i was 10. oh not until you have to be 10
00:19:23why wouldn't you do that age i don't know 52 well what you would though wouldn't if you saw somebody
00:19:29pies chugged like you just go i just you would i would it's the same as you remember the early fiat
00:19:35panda you had the boxy one that shishara designed yeah yeah whenever i walked past one of those
00:19:40of the group of friends he always picked it up and turned it around so people would yes
00:19:44you could just give everything i was going how's that happened in the same way that it's it's always
00:19:49great fun to lock someone else's bicycle up with your bicycle lock you're just a yobbo no no
00:19:55it's a great game you've done you must sometimes just throw a brick through their window or set
00:19:59fire to their shop how good you go to alfords you buy a whole lot of really really cheap bicycle
00:20:04locks it's a combination yeah and then just go along the street locking people's bikes up why would you
00:20:09do that because it's funny but it is because you do it and then i did this with robert cook on york
00:20:16station in 1978 if it was your bicycle you know it was us but you lock it up and then you hide behind
00:20:21some wheelie bins and wait for them to come back because they take their own lock off going oh
00:20:24yes my bicycle's good and they're right off and go dunk i didn't put that on people are watching
00:20:29they're getting the idea no but don't do this children 10 year olds and 52 year olds if you're
00:20:33watching we're not condoning 52 year old children's bicycles or indeed unplugging people's electric car
00:20:39because when they come back and find the range just says two it's not funny
00:20:42we're not saying you should do that no you shouldn't just saying you can do that now
00:20:52last week we revealed that the police were claiming that driving under the influence of a cold remedy is
00:20:57the same as driving under the influence of cocaine now i drove down here because i've got a cold that
00:21:03i haven't mentioned um i drove down here this morning having taken some day nurse yeah and i arrived
00:21:09without incident did it make you very boring and overly confident at parties no i'm always that
00:21:16anyway uh so i'm just letting you know day nurse and driving are okay i made it yeah on that subject
00:21:22actually last week you agreed in fact you challenged james to do a lap of the track you would be sewing
00:21:28on a button at the same time as driving to prove you can do two things he would be in a sleeping bag
00:21:33yes and you would be giving yourself pleasure yeah those are the rules so are we going to have our
00:21:40race we did promise yeah i forgot my sleeping bag sir oh mate i've been practicing all week
00:21:48i promise we will do our sleeping bag uh sewing a button on and hammond race before the end of the series
00:21:56moving on uh mercedes sls james and richard will tell you that it's too big and too stupid it is
00:22:04yeah it is no it isn't it is a superb car and as far as i'm concerned there is only one thing wrong with
00:22:12it it's doors that's two things well it is it's two times thank you hammond
00:22:17you might imagine as you drive along that people will think the gullwing doors hark back to the
00:22:27magnificent 300 sl from 1954 but i suspect they won't think anything of the sort
00:22:38what they will think as you pull up and get out is what a massive show-off and there's another problem
00:22:45with gullwing doors as well because if you roll the car how do you open them to get out you're trapped
00:22:51in there soaks in petrol burning screaming now to prevent that from happening mercedes has fitted the
00:22:58hinges with explosive bolts that are designed to fire if the car goes upside down so these doors then
00:23:04what they are are heavy unnecessary embarrassing bombs now however there is a solution
00:23:15the sls roadster a car which offers all of the coupé's thrills without leaving you purple-faced with
00:23:22embarrassment every time you get out of it that is my idea of the perfect car but it is quite difficult
00:23:32to explain why first of all it costs as near as no difference 200 000 pounds which means it's in the
00:23:42same sort of price bracket as a rolls-royce and with a rolls-royce you get more car
00:23:55of course with this you get the magnificent jackhammer 50 cal amg soundtrack
00:24:03but if that's all you want why not buy a much cheaper c-class
00:24:13this four-door saloon makes exactly the same sort of racket
00:24:25from around a quarter of the price
00:24:27of course you may say aha but i like being exposed to the elements i understand that but i'll let you
00:24:36into a little secret once you're doing 70 miles an hour in a convertible all you really notice is the
00:24:43wind rushing through your hair nothing about the car at all the wind is an all-consuming thing
00:24:49so 70 miles an hour feels exactly the same whether you're in this or this or this
00:25:00let me put it this way when you're being attacked by a lion it doesn't really matter whether you're in
00:25:06a bungalow or a mansion being attacked by a lion is the main thing
00:25:12of course at this point you may say yes but i want a big v8 rear-drive sports car
00:25:24so what's wrong with this the big v8 rear-drive jaguar xkr it's very similar to the mercedes except
00:25:32that to my eye it looks even better and is less than half the price
00:25:37of course you may think the sls is more technical more spectacular and that's true it is
00:25:52the engine is a masterpiece
00:25:56the seven speed double clutch gear that is mounted at the back for better weight distribution
00:26:02it's very light the prop shelf for example is made from carbon fiber and only
00:26:07weighs four kilograms and all the little changes they've made to the suspension on the convertible
00:26:13are so successful they're applying them these days to the coupe as well
00:26:21however don't be fooled into thinking this is some kind of track munching driver's car
00:26:29because um it isn't
00:26:31oh god's true
00:26:41it doesn't grip steer stop or turn anything like as well as a ferrari
00:26:49or an aston martin dbs or even a bmw m3
00:27:02you know what this is like an old american muscle car a dodge charger with a three-pointed star on the
00:27:09nose you could almost call it crude so there are many many reasons why you would not buy an sls but
00:27:18there's one why you would because it is fantastic
00:27:28cars these days are all so safe and refined and they're all built in wheat-free multi-ethnic factories
00:27:35with one eye on johnny polar bear but this just isn't
00:27:42it's just a gigantic two-fever noisy salute to the whole concept of sustainable ecoism
00:27:50it's as in tune with the times as a blaze at an oil refinery
00:28:00and i love that i also love the idiotically long bonnet and the 571 horsepower that live beneath it
00:28:08i love the speed of the roof too you really can get it up or down at a set of lights
00:28:15i love its doors i love its windscreen wipers i love the dust caps on the tire valves
00:28:22i love the men who made it i love germany i want to move there and have cold meat for breakfast
00:28:28and wear shorts
00:28:32i also love the way that in here it just feels like a mercedes
00:28:37apart from that obviously and that and that i mean apart from the launch control and all those
00:28:44buttons there it feels normal there's no sense that you're in a swivel-eyed destroyer of worlds
00:28:55there are many cars on the market today for people who want to be sensible
00:29:01the sls is rare because it's for people who don't
00:29:14like it you love this thing don't you it's such a perfect car it is perfect i can see why you love
00:29:23it looking at you with it because think about it it's loud old-fashioned not sensible it's got a
00:29:29hole in the top it's you with the tax disc basically isn't it that's what it is yes it is and now we
00:29:34must find out how fast it goes around our track and that of course means handing it over to our tame
00:29:39racing driver some say that he's the only man in britain who knows what b and q stands for
00:29:49and that he can't give his million pound bonus back because he's already spent it
00:29:54on french breast implants all we know is he's called the steg
00:30:01and he's off nice clean stars on this crisp dry day that is pure engine sound you hearing by the way
00:30:08no active exhaust valve nonsense in the sls first corner and he's getting a bit sideways on the
00:30:15way out but he's through
00:30:20ah sorry should explain the steg has become a massive archers fan recently
00:30:24he keeps it tidy through chicago down to hammerhead this is a car that needs very precise driving too
00:30:30violent with the steering throttle or brakes and it will bite you
00:30:34look at that beautifully done look at me as quick as i can i can help if that will speak things up
00:30:41rural drivel there um got the gears to follow through like all flappy battle boxes lots of good in
00:30:48town but it works brilliantly here he's past the tires roadster is 40 kilos heavier than the coupe so
00:30:55will it be slower actually we'll never know because the coupe has never been around here that's gambon done and across the line
00:31:05it did it it did it no higher than that one 19.6 so it's there look between the lamborghini
00:31:15guardo and a ferrari scuderia yeah not bad but it's hardly in the medals is it i mean
00:31:21what this is is it's like robert downey jr he's never won an oscar but he's still brilliant
00:31:29anyway no idea what that means yes well you work it out because it is now time to put a star in our
00:31:35reasonably priced guard is it robert downey jr no but he is an american like you i'm not
00:31:41ladies and gentlemen please welcome matt leblanc
00:31:54he's here
00:32:01that's a good welcome now first of all hearty congratulations on your golden globe last week
00:32:07wasn't it uh yeah last week or the week before i don't know i had a fly came back here after
00:32:12christmas and and this is and winning as is it easier to win an award or lose one in terms of getting
00:32:17your face right never quite sure because if you win you've got to look proud but not smug and that's
00:32:23a tricky thing to do well i got a lot of practice at the losing face yeah you know because the camera
00:32:30sits at your table and they stay on you and the guy's halfway through his speech and they still have
00:32:34a camera on you so yeah he deserved it yeah we lost spectacularly last week to a program called this
00:32:43morning you know this no it's a program in a fix fix it was it's a program where men put their fingers
00:32:52in other men um it did and as a result of that we were blown out of the water the viewing public
00:33:00liked that more so well done this morning now you won your golden globe four episodes and i don't
00:33:09know if anybody here has seen episodes i think it is just brilliant oh thank you and then just on the
00:33:14second series which is why you're here yeah we finished a few days ago just talk us through the
00:33:19plot because for those of you who haven't seen it okay it's a show about a fictitious show that starts
00:33:25in the uk and it's brought by the american networks and to be revamped and remade in the states
00:33:30and they promise them the world and one by one every promise is broken including the fact that
00:33:36they can keep their lead actor played by um richard griffiths and they tell him no can't have him
00:33:42you're gonna hire matt leblanc so i play this like weird bizarre version of myself of course obviously
00:33:50episodes has not yet become the huge hit what you're best known for is well i tell you what let's show you
00:33:56a clip of you at your best role here it is this is bob seger obviously night moves this was the video
00:34:04shot in 1994 and if we look very carefully here's the heroine and whoa wait a minute who is that
00:34:12yeah that was you that was 94 and friends had already started in 94 so you were moonlighting in
00:34:21seger videos yeah well a friend of mine directed that and he called me and he said hey i'm doing
00:34:26a video for bob seger for night moves you want to be the hero guy and then i said sure yeah so i go down
00:34:32there and they you know get in the little trailer to get ready and we're at this drive-in theater at
00:34:37night and someone knocks on the door and says bob seger would like to see you in his motorhome so i go
00:34:42over and i go in the motorhome and he starts talking me through like what it was like when he was young
00:34:48and going to the drive-in and trying to pick up girls and he breaks out a bottle of tequila next thing
00:34:54i know we down a whole bottle of tequila bob seger and i and then they knock on the door ready for you
00:34:59on set so i'm drunk in the whole video and it wasn't just that you're also in tom petty video as well
00:35:06aren't you drunk in that one too drunk today yeah a little bit uh now cars i know you're a you are
00:35:17what we call a petrol how don't you call a gearhead um and we know this well we don't i got an inkling
00:35:22of it because when i was watching the aforementioned episodes we've got a clip here which gives us a bit
00:35:27of an insight okay let's just run this tell me that's not yours you like oh i read there was only
00:35:36three in the whole world yep me the sultan of brunei and some drug guy oh it's magnificent here
00:35:47and that's why i was never picked really go for it
00:35:50i am so happy oh oh oh get a rule can i oh i wish i knew how to drive
00:36:06that's an alpha 8c convertible okay that's a very rare car you end up in the next k in that first
00:36:18series right that was a funny story about that car because when they agreed to let us use it in the
00:36:22show it hadn't been sold yet by the time we needed it someone had bought it so it showed up with like
00:36:28its own security team and everything else i got to drive it maybe five feet you did yeah steve drove
00:36:35it further than i did this year it's uh ron dennis's personal mercedes slr he loaned us what was that
00:36:42like i didn't get to drive that one either you're the only one crazy enough to let me behind the wheel
00:36:48apparently now your car history is well it's checkered isn't it at best yeah you had an audi 5000 which
00:36:57we'd call a hundred that was the one that had the unintended acceleration stories wasn't it yeah i
00:37:02not the one i had but i heard about that that's because crap shoot and then there was a fear x19
00:37:09that came in which is like a motorized vajazzler i was thinking that's what not yeah that was uh
00:37:15probably a mistake i bought it at a used car lot i was driving by and you know oh that looks like a good
00:37:22waste of money right there you used to have a porsche a turbo didn't you yeah i had a 2000 996 turbo
00:37:30as i understand it you modified that because when we buy cars in europe they're bmws or porsches or whatever
00:37:36they might be you kind of that's what they're like whereas in the states there seems to be a culture
00:37:42of you buy a car and then you take it to a shop and somebody tweaks it and fills with it and does
00:37:46whatever right is that something you just feel you have to do well for me it's kind of like um if
00:37:52someone who doesn't know anything about cars can just go down to the store and get the same car
00:37:57well that's not right i mean i love cars so mine should go a little faster i think so what did you
00:38:03do to the turbo the turbo i had a gambala computer program put in it and the exhaust and tech art
00:38:10suspension lowered it and then i took it in to have the mass air sensor was starting to go it's
00:38:16probably super boring for most no it is we stop gear and for what you okay great this is the one
00:38:21time yeah the tonight show wouldn't let me talk about any of this so you a man that goes and drives on
00:38:26circuits uh occasionally yeah mostly with uh the bikes i know that's a sore subject with you but
00:38:33no no no you can talk about bikes you've got three seconds and they're up so have you ever driven
00:38:41around laguna seca which is your nearest track i guess is it uh yeah willow springs is probably closer
00:38:46but laguna seca is such a beautiful facility to go you know the corkscrews there the corkscrew is a
00:38:52corner that i just find impossible to get around without crashing six stories i think it drops is it is
00:38:58it's a left right and it's six stories yeah it's not my idea of fun our track is much easier and i
00:39:04know that you took your your trip down here quite seriously because you told our researcher well you
00:39:09were asking about the care and the roll cage which you said ah well that'll make it more rigid now
00:39:14we've never had any of this before from a guest somebody that keen on it that's probably the best
00:39:19handling kia there is that's pretty nice who here would like to see matt's lab me too yeah let's see
00:39:34just don't use the brake as much that's all you know you're going to need the brakes there
00:39:39were you okay with having a stick shift on your left yeah i missed a couple shifts here and there but
00:39:44well that looks you see that's the sort of tidy corner we're keeping it tidy through there the more
00:39:51boring it looks the faster it often is and that's well very boring indeed through there hammerhead
00:39:59almost got the front wheel off the ground there but not quite that's very tight on the way out
00:40:06it was obviously boring you to death as well flat through there yeah no lifting
00:40:21your heart is beating once every three hours
00:40:23there are you going to cut this one yeah that's very good gambon cut it
00:40:42um well hopefully in the top half somewhere hopefully in the top half well often when
00:40:51laps look that drama-less as it were they can be quite fast so there's the board where we rowan
00:40:57atkinson currently leading 142-2 that's quick 142 yeah 142-2 is unbelievably quick halfway we put you
00:41:05with bob geldoff 148-1 you did it matt leblanc in one minute 40
00:41:15i was i just knew when i started
00:41:23I just knew when I was serious yeah absolutely serious you were apparently running at 142 to
00:41:50absolutely level with Rowan who by the way has just hung himself and and then on that last lap popped in
00:41:56a 142 one so there we are ladies and gentlemen the fastest guest we've ever had we may be in a spot of
00:42:13economic bother at the moment however Rolls-Royce Bentley and Aston Martin are all enjoying record
00:42:19sales and all because of demand from China the thing is though that people with adenoids are
00:42:25saying in five years time the Chinese are going to stop buying our cars and we will start buying
00:42:30theirs in fact if I had a pound for everyone who said I assume you'll be driving a Chinese car I'd
00:42:36be able to afford a Chinese car to see if they have a point Jeremy and I decided to pop over
00:42:43to Beijing and find out what all the fuss is about for the last 50 years there have been two types of
00:43:00transports in China if you were chairman now you had a honky red flag armored limo if you were not
00:43:07chairman now you had one of these or if you were really lucky you had one of these and even in the
00:43:16early 90s the idea that you would own a car was complete madness because you'd never have been able
00:43:23to afford it and even if you could afford it you weren't allowed to have one now though things have
00:43:29changed in 1977 there were 1 million cars in China by 2008 there were 51 million now there are 85 million
00:43:50and every day that number swells by 38,000 somebody buys a new car in China every 2.3 seconds
00:43:59to keep up with demands China's car factories are running at light speed last year the whole of
00:44:10Europe combined produced 16.9 million vehicles China all on its own produce 1.3 million more
00:44:19than that and it's not just Chinese companies that are cashing in on the boom Audi is now making long
00:44:28wheelbase versions of its cars specifically for sale in China and nowhere else because in China space in
00:44:35the back matters more than anything else China is now the world's second biggest oil consumer taking
00:44:43more barrels per day than India and Japan combined by 2025 the road network will be big enough to cover
00:44:52the whole of the British Isles all of it Scottish Highlands the lot 20 times over so where did it all
00:45:02begin well one of the first cars ever to be sold in China was this the CA 6410 you a better known to you
00:45:14and I as the Austin Maestro actually it's the back end of a Maestro but the front end of a Montego and
00:45:22it's powered by a Toyota engine the history behind this car though is even more complicated in 1998 the
00:45:33Chinese tobacco company bought the tooling for the Maestro and the Montego so they could be made in
00:45:39China now in order to make them in China they had to tell the authorities that they were building buses this
00:45:46car or I should say these cars because this is a bit of a cut-and-shut job these were terrible when
00:45:52they were being built in Britain so imagine what they were like when they were being made using worn
00:45:57out tools by a company that's the Chinese equivalent of players number six it's just hopeless
00:46:10pretty soon though various bright sparks in China started to think why buy the rights to make cars
00:46:16we don't want well we can just copy the ones we do want the Chinese are very good at this sort of
00:46:24thing I'm speaking to you now from behind a pair of fake Ray-Bans wearing a fake Armani jacket carrying
00:46:31a fake Louis Vuitton bag in which we find a fake iPad and a fake iPhone and if we consult my fake Omega we
00:46:43see that it's 25 to 3 probably which means it's time to pop into the fake Starbucks over there for a cup
00:46:50of fake coffee it seems then that the expression copyright infringement doesn't translate terribly well
00:46:58into Mandarin all of which explains this it looks like a BMW X5 but actually it's a blatant copy called the
00:47:10one one s dash CEO HBJ six four seven four Y then there's this a copy of the Fiat Panda and this a copy of the
00:47:27smart for two then this a copy of the day you matiz did you hear about the life and motorcycles life and
00:47:36there's a Chinese company they make exact copies of small Honda motorcycles but to make sure you
00:47:41don't notice they change the name on the tank it's what Honda h-o-n-g-d-a Honda Honda so on that basis
00:47:51then is this mini a mini we the mini it should be yes it is the most tragic looking thing it's like
00:47:59somebody's described a mini to someone on the telephone all sent a really blurry fax yeah right
00:48:04there we are that's what it looks like it is very cheap though how much is it four thousand one hundred
00:48:09pounds that is cheap but but this Toyota I go over here is only three and a half grand it's not an I go
00:48:14that's an fo that's what it's called fo I think that's a coded message to Toyota if Toyota ever decide
00:48:23to sue the fake makers but actually do any of these people ever get taken to court yeah BMW see the
00:48:29people making me X5 fake and they lost really yeah the Chinese government said no it doesn't look
00:48:35anything like an X file we don't know what you're on about it's funny I thought they looked really
00:48:38similar it's easy to see why they were copying because when they tried to go it alone the results
00:48:51weren't very good this tripod is the XF 150 ZK dash four and naturally we couldn't wait to try it
00:49:03right you see whether it James on the plus side we now knew where the engine was information that
00:49:16came in handy about 20 seconds later come on after some local budging we were back in and on our way
00:49:30wow oh that's reverse wait wait wait that's gone into naught fifth second oh god that was it
00:49:50it's gonna look very funny from the outside there
00:49:5330 seconds having mastered the gearbox it was time to open up the single-cylinder 12 horsepower engine
00:50:13it's like a safety device you accelerate too hard your feet come off the pedal
00:50:23hold on hold on to your spine
00:50:28I mean 2004 this car was launched if I'd shown this to you and said when you think that was built
00:50:34when would you have said 1957 I would say it was older than me yeah
00:50:38ow ow but it's called quality
00:50:42quality I was about oh
00:50:43come on redeeming feature James there must be a redeeming feature
00:50:49uh it's character building
00:50:52no because I mean this one oh no
00:50:56I think our test drive's over
00:51:07so we moved on to look at some more modern Chinese cars
00:51:13this is the
00:51:18jac j7 and that the sixth annual Chinese government procurement conference it won the
00:51:25highly coveted first choice in middle class of government procurement award
00:51:31and then there's the Haval M2 which is well we have absolutely no idea what it is
00:51:41can I just read you something from the blurb yep about the styling of the M2 and I think this
00:51:49absolutely sums it up body on the side of the line to go straight fair with enough of the masculine
00:51:56qualities of men
00:52:01if we're honest the M2 and the j7 aren't much good
00:52:07so are there any Chinese cars which are
00:52:13well this is a guang chi trump chi and it's not made from tin foil or bits of old Austin
00:52:26underneath it's an Alfa Romeo 166 this might be all right
00:52:34I think however that this row a 350 will be even better the row a 350 is particularly important
00:52:47really because it will eventually become an ng in Britain the mg5 it will be changed slightly the
00:52:53engine will be different because it needs to meet European legislation for admissions and so on but
00:52:58basically I'm driving here a car that you're going to be able to buy in Britain very soon
00:53:03essentially then what we have here is an Alfa Romeo and an mg those of course are very sporting
00:53:14names and that's why we've come to this very picturesque racetrack what we're going to do is see
00:53:23which of these cars can set the fastest lap time but we're not no we're not we're going to use our
00:53:30team racing driver some say he's the stick but he isn't he's the stig's Chinese cousin
00:53:36now I should explain driving is his second favorite thing it's his first favorite
00:53:48attacking people he does it a lot he's constantly attacking why are you doing that why are you going to do some driving
00:53:57dudes don't stop attacking us get in the car but he's got to get in the car get in the car
00:54:06I'm cheek trunky get in the trunk tree no
00:54:09that's the director that is the director
00:54:14what if I start the engine would that do it come on come on in you go they're bad they're bad
00:54:22don't they do it get in oh yes that's the worst stick we've ever had
00:54:43a taxi doesn't attack the throttle though does it it's a good-looking car it is a good-looking car
00:54:50it's growing it's got the boot shape of the lancy uh gamma gamma yeah
00:54:56and it has an alpha engine does it yeah the transport
00:55:01but it is called a trump chief it is called the junction but
00:55:06what are you driving these days jeremy well no it's interesting underneath it's an alpha it's a
00:55:11trunk isn't it attack sting is back everybody watch out and across the line
00:55:19one minute 50 dead we've got to get him out of that car now and into the roadway get him in the
00:55:26roadway as quickly as possible get him in the roadway oh it's interesting he's attacking the
00:55:32starter i thought it was a racist thing he just didn't like us it's coming towards us now no you
00:55:39you were good 150 dead eventually attack stig was corralled into james's roadway
00:55:49ah
00:55:53that begins quickly how many horsepower's it got 100 and seven it's a 1.5 isn't it
00:56:03well how they got so few horsepower i don't know actually and i don't like to sound like you but
00:56:08that's not enough power because they called it roadway because roadway is how they would say
00:56:15they would say rover yeah i thought they'd say loofer
00:56:22the seconds ticked by but there was no sign of my rowey where has he gone i don't know
00:56:29after we dragged attack stig off the marshall across the line we got a clean lap time for the
00:56:40roadway victory by one tenth of a second a fairly hollow victory though as we estimate that on the
00:56:50same track a comparable european car would be 10 or 15 seconds faster
00:56:57so what about safety chinese crash tests are much the same as the ones we have in europe
00:57:04but the speeds are a bit lower
00:57:17so
00:57:30any injuries no at all nothing not a scratch what about the car
00:57:36no damage at all really no that's a pass
00:57:43you ready
00:57:47having satisfied ourselves that these cars had been through all their crash tests
00:58:00we were confident that we could take them onto the streets of beijing
00:58:06this might not be as nice to drive or as fast or as safe as a european car but
00:58:13it offers everything the chinese motorist would want there's lots of space in the back a couple of
00:58:19nice gadgets wooden trim and enough headroom for anyone up to five foot three
00:58:29the editor of a chinese car magazine told me this morning that the chinese like good equipment in cars
00:58:36good gadgets and this actually does quite well it's got sat nav completely incomprehensible of course
00:58:42reversing cameras decent audio system automatic air conditioning audio controls on the steering wheel
00:58:51digital dashboard
00:58:54pretty good
00:58:56i'd like to say that this feels like an old alfa romeo but it doesn't really
00:59:02chiefly because of the automatic gearbox which was made by a man who i think is a greengrocer certainly
00:59:10he has no comprehension of what an automatic gearbox should do stop changing gear don't do that
00:59:21it's all very well jeremy whining and shouting in his gearbox but he should try this this is
00:59:25a three-speed automatic with overdrive i mean it's quite smooth actually but as a concept it's
00:59:33well just a tad old-fashioned it is worth bearing in mind though that both these cars cost
00:59:4012 000 pounds and that in china a base model audi a3 is more than twice that if you bear that price
00:59:50difference in mind and ignore the gearbox it's really not too bad rides nicely
01:00:00most of the time at this point we run out of things to say about our cars so we met up for a
01:00:08discussion so james may would you buy a rowway 350 in britain no no no would you buy a trump
01:00:17cheap only if it was very cheap but look at it this way in just five years china has gone from making
01:00:26that whatever it is to making these now with that rate of progress where are they going to be in five
01:00:35years time well that does take us back to our original question actually so oh in five years
01:00:40time everybody will be driving chinese cars yes we probably will we are doomed we are absolutely
01:00:46in the plums
01:00:53Oh
01:01:23You just can't shake off James May tonight on BBC HD. He's back a bit later on to find out why he
01:01:32might have a hangover. This and other things you need to know about the human body and that's at
01:01:3710.55. Up next, hangovers are a bit lightweight. The return of being human.
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