- 5 months ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
00:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:02Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:04Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:06Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:08Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:10Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:12Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:14Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:16Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:18Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:20Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:22Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
01:24Ας δούμε, είναι η καλύτερη καλύτερη να δείχνουμε την ίδιακή, ή θα πρέπει να δείχνουμε την καλύτερη καλύτερη.
01:42Αυτή είναι καλύτερη.
01:43Δηλαδή, μετά από την καλύτερη καλύτερη, έχω μια αρκετή αρκετή αρκετή.
01:48I am currently doing 60 mph,
01:50and according to that I have 90% of the engine's power still in reserve.
01:55...just in case of emergencies.
01:58That's good.
02:03In the old Rolls-Royces, the ones from the 60s, 70s, 80s even,
02:07there was wind noise, there was tyre noise, there was engine noise.
02:11Any reason you could hear the clock ticking at 100 mph
02:14was because the clock was so damn loud.
02:16Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
02:46Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
03:16Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
03:46Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
03:48Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
03:50Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
03:52Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:24Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:26Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:28Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:32Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:34Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:36Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:38Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:40Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:42Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:44Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:46Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:48Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:50Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
04:52και πιέραν, και τα δουλειάζοντας και το νερό.
04:55Μπορείτε να είναι...
04:57...φαβουλώς.
04:59Μπορείτε να έχεις τις πίκνικές τελείς.
05:06Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE είναι το πιο σημαντικό πιο πιο σημαντικό.
05:10Συγχωδόν.
05:12Αλλά, Ωραία,
05:14Ο Ραλείς είναι πολύ καλύτερο να δυνάζει.
05:230-60 στραγωδόν σε 5.7 στραγωδόν σε 150 στραγωδόν.
05:31Αυτό είναι πιο πιο στραγωδόν,
05:33όσο όμως οι δυναμικές τελείς δεν πειρνάζονται.
05:38Και δεν είναι καλύτερο στραγωδόν σε στραγωδόν, είδα.
05:44Ωραία, Ωραία.
05:48Μπορείτε να μιλήστε, είναι πολύ πιο στραγωδόν,
05:52αλλά δεν είναι ένας αυτομαντικό, είδα.
05:57Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
05:59ήθελα να είχατε το στραγωδόν.
06:00Ωραία, είναι πολύ καλύτερο,
06:02πολύ καλύτερο,
06:03αλλά δεν είναι καλύτερο.
06:07Αν όχι τελευταία, Ωραία,
06:09έχει στραγωδόν σε πιο στις πιο στραγωδόν.
06:12Ωραία, για 80 χρόνια,
06:15αυτό δεν είναι πιο στραγωδόν.
06:19Ωραία, είναι τελευταία.
06:27Ωραία, το σπίτι της εξατίας
06:29είναι πιο στραγωδόν.
06:35Και εδώ είμαστε,
06:36η πιο στραγωδότητα,
06:37η πιο στραγωδότητα για να έρθει.
06:39Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
06:40είναι η πιο στραγωδότητα.
06:44Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
06:46Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
07:16Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
07:46Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
08:16This is a great car, an awesome car, a bit showy perhaps and hard to park, but mostly a majestic, inspiring, serene and glorious blend of style and engineering.
09:01What about the new Mini? What about the new Range Rover? And this?
09:05You're absolutely right. You are right, actually. Germans left to their own devices. I mean, they're useless. They'll be in a pair of leather shorts, off down with some umpar music to design a Mercedes Maybach.
09:16Now that's, yeah, Maybach's a good case in point. Cost the same as this, £250,000. It's about the same size as this.
09:22But all that is, is a stretched Mercedes and they've sort of shoved a branch of Dixon's into the front and then fitted some sort of DFS leatherette reclining sofas in the back.
09:34This is the only true luxury car in the world and I can explain why. Come and have a look at this.
09:40Now, they could have taken a big BMW and stuffed it full of kit, as you said, but they went to this and they thought, what is luxury really about?
09:49It's not about gadgets and shag pile everywhere, is it? It's about peace and quiet and light and air and space. Big space.
09:57You can't have a luxury caravan, can you? No, you can't. Rolls-Royce does have a problem, though, because I was talking to an Arab friend of mine the other day.
10:08He lives in Dubai. He's got a Ferrari F40, an F50. He's got an Enzo coming. He's got a Bentley Inage T, a Jaguar XJ220, a Porsche 959 and a Toyota Previa for his wife, obviously.
10:21And he was saying, no, I'm not going to buy one of those new Rolls-Royces. They're too flash.
10:27He's right, because I look at that beautiful half-naked woman on the top of that radiator grill and do you know what pops into my head?
10:33What?
10:34Jimmy Savile.
10:40And this really is it. This is the crux. Rolls-Royce has built a magnificent car.
10:45They must now be incredibly careful who they sell it to. Nobody called James. James Savile? James Greaves? No. James Tarbuck? Not a chance.
10:57James... you! James May? He can't have one either. Sorry, mate.
11:03All of which brings us to the cool board. Where does the Rolls go?
11:07Well, right now it has been properly tarbucked with the Savile brush, and that means it can only be uncool, I'm afraid.
11:15But, I'm going to put this proviso on it. It's going to stay there until the first time I open my copy of Heat magazine,
11:22and I see one of these pulling up outside a nightclub, and a member of ACDC falling out of the back into a pool of his own sick.
11:31Then, it's going to go from there straight to there.
11:35It'll never happen. It'll never happen. Sadly, no rock star will ever buy the Rolls-Royce.
11:41It's too big to fit in a swimming pool.
11:45Um, the Ferrari Enzo.
11:48There's been three of these sold in this country so far,
11:52and I think I'm right in saying all of them to rock stars. Is that right?
11:56True enough. Yeah, no, Eric Clapton, we think, has one.
11:58We know JK has got one.
12:00Yes.
12:00and the drummer of Pink Floyd is getting one.
12:04But the funny thing is, even with the rock star effect, it's still not a cool car.
12:09What do we think?
12:10It's trying too hard.
12:12Hold on a minute.
12:13Why is the Ferrari Enzo cool?
12:15It's got everything that the McLaren F1 was ten years ago.
12:18They're trying to replicate it, and I think for that, it's cool.
12:21I was nodding off in the middle of that explanation.
12:23You see, where they're going wrong is this.
12:27It's screaming at the world.
12:28The Kristin Scott Thomas test.
12:30Precisely.
12:31Here she is, okay, look.
12:32Her, if you pull up to take her out in a Ferrari Enzo, she'll say,
12:36no, do you mind if we go in my husband's Renault Laguna?
12:39I've got the new Audi A3, which, no, that's uncool.
12:46Hold on a minute.
12:46There's a man here I happen to know has an A3.
12:50They're wonderful cars to drive.
12:53You've got a beard.
12:59If you're going to have an Audi, buy an Audi, not a VW Golf that looks like an Audi.
13:05That, I'm sorry, I believe that to be an uncool car.
13:08No, it didn't.
13:09It's uncool.
13:10Now, I'm sorry, I know he's got a beard.
13:12I think that's a cool car.
13:13That is so wrong.
13:14No, it isn't.
13:15It's cool.
13:16And if you want to do something about it.
13:23I like a reasoned debate.
13:26Now, I think that's pretty much cut.
13:28Actually, no, I think I'm going to put this alpha up here.
13:33Yes.
13:34Yes.
13:35Thank you.
13:35Yes.
13:39No, I'm just escalating it, Jeremy.
13:50That's just silly.
13:51No, I'll let you have that one.
13:52Now, a few weeks ago, there were some local elections, and the turnout was dreadful.
14:02People immediately started wailing about voter apathy and, oh, this is the death of democracy.
14:07It's got nothing to do with any of that.
14:09It's because it's boring.
14:11Voting is boring, isn't it?
14:13So we thought maybe we could revolutionize democracy by deciding the result of the next general election using an MGZR race car and a test track.
14:23All of the major political parties have sent along representatives to take part in this election.
14:28And the first of them is from the Legalize Cannabis Alliance.
14:32Big party?
14:37Small party?
14:38This is Mark Gibson.
14:39Good luck from the official Monster Raving Loony Party.
14:42Hey!
14:43Oh!
14:44This is Alan Howling Lord Hope.
14:49Alan has no experience of this sort of thing, but he does have a Hyundai Sonata and a cat that died recently, apparently.
14:58Hi, Hope's here, I'm sure.
14:59Now, from the Green Party, Ian Dixon.
15:02You do know what you're here to do.
15:04This is racing and stuff, don't you?
15:06Exactly, yes.
15:06There's no bus laying out there.
15:07No, it's all good.
15:08And you'll have to take your cycle clips off.
15:09All right, good luck, but we'll see how you do.
15:11From the Liberal Democrat Party, John Ault.
15:14Hello, John.
15:19It's getting scary in here.
15:21Now, I was told, and I don't know if this is right, that you are the only Lib Dem opposed to speed bumps.
15:28I'm sure I'm not the only one.
15:29I don't particularly like them, unless there's two close together so I can jump the second one.
15:34From the Labour Party, Richard Burden.
15:36Now, you have done quite a bit of racing.
15:40Well, it's one.
15:40That's good.
15:41You're doing well, mate.
15:43Richard Burden, you have done a fair bit of racing, so we'll have to see what happens from you.
15:46And finally, from the Tory party, the shadow defence secretary himself, Bernard Jenkin.
15:55Well, this isn't Bernard Jenkin, obviously.
15:56This is a model of him.
15:58Bernard can't make it here tonight because he's in Iraq.
16:02I don't know why you'd want to be in Iraq.
16:04Oh, that's your fault.
16:06Because your boss was told by his boss in America to have a war, and he did, and Bernard
16:13can't leave with us tonight.
16:14He's gone.
16:14I'm gone.
16:14He's gone.
16:15Well, he managed to make it for the big day.
16:17He did.
16:17So we'll see how he did.
16:18Just think, by the end of tonight, we could have a new government.
16:22So we'll find out how they all did a bit later on.
16:25But first, it's time for the news.
16:28Now, anyone who's seen an aerial photograph of London can't help but have noticed that there's
16:32an enormous blue bus lane running right through the middle of it, which is called the Thames.
16:37It's a perfectly good idea to get buses off the road and make them go down the river.
16:42And we've had a letter from a company this week saying they've built just such a thing.
16:47Look at that.
16:47It's a bus boat.
16:51There's a bus.
16:52It goes down a river, and then it just pulls out at the far end.
16:55That's fantastic.
16:56It is.
16:56The bloke says he spent all his money on it, and he wants backing.
16:59Well, you're not getting any from us, sunshine.
17:02We spend all our money on petrol and crisps.
17:04So we're not going to give you any money, but we do give you our backing.
17:07Anything that gets buses off the road is a good idea.
17:10I've got one here.
17:11Combines two activities, okay?
17:12Spending time in traffic.
17:13We all have to do it.
17:14It's no fun.
17:15We know that.
17:15This is a new service.
17:16It's called Motor Flirting.
17:18Motor what?
17:19Motor Flirting.
17:21And essentially, it boils down to this.
17:22Members display a discreet, it says discreet, sticker in the back window of their car with Motor Flirt logo on it.
17:29And then another member, when they see that, and they think, he or she looks quite nice,
17:34they can contact this service and give them the registration number, and they can send text messages to that person.
17:40This means a load of fat, ugly blokes are going to be sending each other text messages.
17:43And here, these two will be texting each other, shouldn't they?
17:48Yeah.
17:48That's basically what it is.
17:49Nice car and dishy driver.
17:52Instead of gazing longingly through the windscreen, you can text the motorist you fancy.
17:56There you go.
17:56Have that.
17:56You'll number all the details on it.
17:58I can straight away see another use for this, because it means you can finally contact people in other cars around you.
18:05You're on the motorway, say, it's not foggy, say, and somebody in front has, let's imagine their fog light on.
18:12You could send them a playful little text messages to the effect.
18:16Turn it off.
18:18Turn it off.
18:19123-year-old man, turn it off.
18:22Yes.
18:23Precisely.
18:24What have you got, James?
18:25Well, I've got the new BMW 5 Series, which is coming out in September.
18:29Here's a picture of it.
18:30They've come up with something called active steering.
18:33Oh, God.
18:34Now, this is, well, I think that sounds quite encouraging, active steering.
18:36Now, before you knock it, I've tried this on a prototype, because they brought it around to our big house where we all live together,
18:42but these two are out, and I had a go in it.
18:44And it's actually rather good, because normally, if you're going around Sainsbury's car park at any speed, okay,
18:51you go down those little things, and you have to do all that Institute of Advanced Motorists feed the wheel stuff.
18:55With this, you just hold the wheel, quarter to three, like the Institute of Advanced Motorists,
18:59but you just do this, and the car goes around a right angle.
19:02Okay, but you get in on the motorway, or a German Autobahn doing 130,
19:05and that same movement just gives you a gentle lane change.
19:09The steering knows how fast you're going.
19:11That's ridiculous. That is stupid.
19:12It's always fantastic.
19:12It isn't. I'd always forget.
19:14I'd be just going through a car park, and I'll do that, and I'd just drive straight into another car.
19:18No, you wouldn't.
19:18Or on a motorway, and you're like, bloody hell, I'm in the wrong way.
19:21No, Jeremy, steering is something you do instinctively, isn't it?
19:24You don't think, you don't...
19:25The motorists are stupid.
19:27I tell you what, I was driving my car, this was a Mercedes, okay?
19:30I was driving through East London this week, and I got shot, okay?
19:34Now, the thing...
19:35Eh?
19:35It was shot.
19:36At last.
19:41Well, it didn't hit me, but they hit...
19:42No, honestly, the windscreen said I...
19:44What wit?
19:44AK-47.
19:47Okay, now, in the olden days, you used to ring up a repair glass can.
19:51They'd send a man round, and it was 50 quid, and he put a new one in,
19:53and he claimed on insurance, yes?
19:55Not anymore.
19:56My windscreen has got aerials in it, and heating elements, and light sensors, and rain sensors,
20:02and they've had to take the car away.
20:03It'll cost 20 trillion pounds, and they've kept it overnight,
20:05because they say that the glue's got to set.
20:09Did they by any chance try telling you that the glue will set better
20:11if it's left parked outside a nightclub all night, maybe?
20:14Eh.
20:15Gay nightclub.
20:16Oh, no.
20:16It's not a gay car.
20:21It is now.
20:22It is now, yeah, all right.
20:23Is it my turn?
20:24It is.
20:25Er, oh, it's Lexus.
20:27It's the RX 300.
20:29They're bringing a new model in, here it is,
20:31and they're talking about it's got a whole load of new features on it,
20:35all of which are supposed to be amazing.
20:37It's got a driver's knee airbag.
20:40What?
20:41They've looked, haven't they, and they've thought,
20:43how many airbags have everyone else got?
20:44They've got one for the eyelashes, one for your ears, one for your ankles.
20:47Better do one for the knees.
20:48So it's got a knee airbag.
20:50It's got a colour rear view camera.
20:52Oh, no.
20:54Primera's got a camera.
20:54Yeah, the Nissan Primera.
20:56No.
20:56That's black and white.
20:57No, it's black and white.
20:58Oh, yeah.
20:58Yes, you have to get a more expensive television licence to reverse that car.
21:03What was the lesson with a rear view mirror?
21:05This is what I'm talking about, complication.
21:06What was the matter?
21:07You can't get teletext on it.
21:08Maybe you can.
21:09I'll just back up and check on my share prices.
21:13Well, anyway, if you want a Lexus and want to look like a Los Angeles drug dealer,
21:17there you are.
21:18Now, there's a million new little cars come out every single week,
21:25and they're all much of a muchness.
21:26They're all fine.
21:26But this week, there's a new Daihatsu charade out.
21:30It's being launched next month.
21:31We had a go in it this morning.
21:33It's fantastic.
21:34It's excellent.
21:35We've got a picture of it here.
21:36It's about two inches tall, okay?
21:39Now, you get electric windows.
21:41You get anti-lock brakes.
21:42You get a one-litre three-centred engine.
21:43There's 100 miles an hour.
21:45Tons of space.
21:46And do you want to know how much it costs?
21:48Five, nine, nine, five.
21:49But did you notice, though, when you put the ignition key in and turn it on,
21:52there's a little display on the dash, and it says,
21:55hello, happy.
21:56Yes, it does.
21:57They've always had a bit of a problem with this Japanese translation thing, though.
22:01I mean, they've improved the cars now.
22:02But I've got at home, I've got the handbook from an early 1970s Datsun,
22:06and there's a bit in it about adjusting the seat.
22:09And right in the middle of it, it says,
22:10cement the driver's arm to the handle.
22:15And then in the index, under H, it's got how to open the bonnet.
22:20How to do anything else?
22:24I had a good one with die hats.
22:25So they once flew me first class before I was working for the BBC.
22:28They flew me first class all the way to Japan via Hong Kong
22:31and then back through Maui and San Francisco.
22:33And I arrived in Japan to drive their new charade.
22:36This was, I don't know, late 80s.
22:38I did half a lap of the track and crashed it.
22:40And the guy said,
22:42Oh, don't worry, we make one every 23 seconds.
22:47After you'd groveled for half an hour.
22:49Yeah, that's it.
22:50Right, that's the end of the news.
22:53Right, back to tonight's theme, luxury.
22:56Thing is, it doesn't have to cost a fortune.
22:58I found how you can buy a proper piece of British luxury,
23:01the kind of thing we've been talking about,
23:03for £8,000.
23:05It's this, the Rover P5.
23:07The Queen of England had a Rover P5.
23:16I know that because I'm sitting in it.
23:19This is the Queen's Rover P5.
23:22Now, when she ordered this car,
23:24she already had a fleet of Rolls-Royces,
23:26but they were all chauffeur-driven.
23:29This she drove herself.
23:30This was more your mid-week luxury.
23:33There were two shapes,
23:37the rigidly upright saloon.
23:40And then there was this, the coupe,
23:42which, despite being the coupe,
23:44still had four doors.
23:46But it's this lowered roofline
23:48that butchies up the image
23:49and somehow makes it look more...
23:52caddish.
23:53Inside, it might have been the poor man's roller,
23:56but it was still luxurious.
23:58The Holy Trinity are here.
24:00Leather, wood and shag pile.
24:02It's solid, regal and dignified.
24:04In fact, the phrase
24:05gentlemen's club on wheels
24:07may be a tired old cliché today,
24:09but it was actually coined for this car.
24:14It was the backbone of England.
24:17Harold Wilson had one.
24:18And he had a pipe rest fitted to it.
24:20Maggie Thatcher,
24:27when she was driving around
24:28shouting at trade unionists,
24:30she had one.
24:35But underneath all that cosy tradition,
24:37there was modernity,
24:38because this was the first time
24:40Rover built a car using a monocoque shell.
24:43But when it first arrived,
24:44it could have handled worse
24:45than a sumo wrestler at a roll of disco,
24:48because it barely had enough power
24:49to challenge even the most rotten of chassis.
24:53It struggled along with Rover's
24:54flaccid three-litre straight six
24:57between 1958 and 1967.
25:00And yet, the P5,
25:01well, it would do 60 miles an hour,
25:03but it took 17 seconds to get there.
25:07And yes, it would do 100 miles an hour,
25:09but not without a fight.
25:12Then in 1967,
25:14the Rover P5 finally got the engine
25:16it deserved.
25:17and the Rover three-and-a-half-litre V8
25:20was born.
25:21The old girl finally had enough grunt
25:23to shake the rough shag out of Wilson's pipe.
25:27It does make a nice noise.
25:28That is a great noise.
25:35The trees are moving a bit faster as well.
25:42Shame, really,
25:43because it all happened in the same year
25:45that his transport minister, Barbara Carson,
25:48introduced the 70 miles an hour speed limit.
25:50So the three-and-a-half-litre V8-engined
25:59Rover P5B Coupe
26:01is clearly the one to go for
26:03if you're buying one today.
26:05And I think you should,
26:06because you can get a really good one
26:08for seven, eight thousand pounds,
26:09and a really, really good one
26:11if you're prepared to get closer
26:12to ten, eleven thousand pounds.
26:17I mean, sure,
26:18like an elderly relative,
26:19it will need occasional care and attention,
26:22and you'll have to keep an eye on it.
26:24And no,
26:24it hasn't got satellite-navigated,
26:27remote-controlled,
26:28airbag-operated gizmos.
26:30But it's got something else.
26:31It's got innate luxuriousness.
26:35It's ingrained.
26:35Like that Rolls-Royce,
26:38the Rover had luxury built into it.
26:40And it's as English as an oven glove
26:42with cats on it.
26:44Just think how comforting
26:46its sturdy, upright posture
26:47must have seemed
26:48to the ex-public school boys
26:50running the nation's banks,
26:51industry,
26:52and indeed, the nation.
26:54When you're used to a regime
26:55of coal baths and cross-country running,
26:58a big, matronly Rover P5
27:00must have been a welcome sight.
27:02It's a plateful of mashed potato
27:04on a wooden refectory table.
27:06Comfort food.
27:07I want to call it Nursey.
27:08In fact, I bet some people did.
27:11Because just like Nursey,
27:12the P5's perhaps rather starchy exterior
27:15conceals a warm and comforting bosom
27:18that just for a brief while
27:19makes everything all right with the world.
27:28Now,
27:29last weekend,
27:31Channel 4 ran a programme
27:33and named
27:34the 100 worst Britons.
27:36I was a deserving 66th,
27:39but my guest tonight
27:41thrashed me.
27:42So please welcome
27:43Britain's 28th worst person,
27:46Jamie Oliver!
27:47That was a man.
28:00Oh no,
28:00I thought it was a bird,
28:01but I think his name's Cindy.
28:02It isn't Cindy, mate,
28:04it's a blow.
28:07Anyway,
28:08this is our luxury programme,
28:09so have a Roche.
28:10Thank you very much.
28:11Have you ever had one of those?
28:12It's a Malteser that's won the pools.
28:14No, the things always get stuck in my throat.
28:16They get stuck on there,
28:16so we glued them together,
28:17so this lot will nick them.
28:18Now,
28:20let's talk about some cars.
28:21Oh, actually,
28:21no, let's not.
28:22Let's talk about your scooter.
28:24Yeah?
28:24Why?
28:25Why do you have a scooter?
28:26Because,
28:27scooters probably,
28:28I think scooters are probably
28:29the fastest method
28:31of travel in London,
28:32really.
28:32I'm fed up with sitting
28:33in traffic in London.
28:34It's a terrible city.
28:36Drives me mad.
28:37No, no,
28:37but a scooter,
28:38if you leave it to its own devices...
28:39I'll be any Ferrari in London.
28:40Easy.
28:40You won't.
28:41I swear to you.
28:42Three o'clock in the morning,
28:42Baker Street.
28:43All right.
28:45You had a bit of a crash
28:46on it, didn't you?
28:47on television?
28:48Several.
28:49Oh, God, yeah.
28:49Lately, yeah.
28:51Yeah.
28:51Tell the nice people
28:52what happened
28:53when you went on
28:53the Oprah Winfrey show.
28:54Yeah, we were in Chicago
28:57and we went on
28:57the Oprah Winfrey show
28:58and it was kind of
28:59quite exciting
28:59because it's quite hard
29:00to get on there
29:01and they kind of
29:02did this little VT
29:03of the things that I've done
29:04and they were,
29:05Jamie Oliver!
29:06And they opened the door
29:07and I drove, like,
29:07in between the audience
29:08and all I remember,
29:10you know,
29:11a very proud moment
29:12in my life
29:12and this beautifully lit studio
29:14with wonderful flowers
29:15and Oprah kind of smiling at me
29:16and as I got close to it,
29:17you know sometimes
29:18when cars or things slip
29:19and you think,
29:20oh, I better correct it a bit.
29:21Well, there was none of that.
29:22I just went straight on the floor
29:23and I just skidded on my front
29:26about four or five meters
29:27and they had this, like,
29:29kind of awkward family
29:31of eaters
29:31from Chicago
29:32in this table
29:33for four
29:34in the corner
29:35and I was going straight for them
29:36and it was just,
29:38it was just a really,
29:39really scary moment
29:40but it was great.
29:41They leave it in?
29:43They did, yeah.
29:43they thought that I was a stuntman.
29:47Still,
29:47having a scooter
29:48is better than your car.
29:49Well, not really
29:50because, I mean,
29:50it's a bit cold,
29:51a bit wet,
29:52a bit very dangerous.
29:52And you've got a Maserati.
29:54Yeah, yeah.
29:56Would you like to explain
29:57what on earth
29:58possessed you to do that?
29:59I love it.
30:00I think it looks beautiful.
30:02I think they're great value.
30:03I think they're very fast.
30:05I think they sound beautiful.
30:06Do you not agree, guys?
30:07Have you seen it?
30:08No, you're not going to get them
30:09to agree.
30:10Oh, that's it.
30:11These people know about cars.
30:12That's why they've come
30:13to the Top Gear show.
30:14Yeah, but you drive
30:15a hairdresser's car, mate.
30:16What can you say?
30:18And you know what?
30:19Your Stig
30:20took me out in it today.
30:21Scared the life out of me.
30:22I've never been so scared
30:23in all of my life.
30:24And he crashed it.
30:28He crashed it.
30:29That's one less.
30:30He smashed up all the wheels.
30:31How did he do it?
30:33Well, the thing he said after,
30:34he goes,
30:34I'm really sorry about that, Jay.
30:35But I could have missed that ditch
30:37but I thought
30:38I wanted to show you
30:39how it goes sideways.
30:41Thanks very much.
30:45Seriously.
30:45Now, we can actually prove,
30:46I'm sorry to have to do this
30:48to you, Jamie, okay?
30:48We rang your restaurant
30:50just to find out
30:50how much you and your business
30:52knows about cars.
30:53Right, yeah.
30:54We rang,
30:54and if you ring,
30:55it's 15, yeah?
30:56Yep.
30:56I don't mind saying that.
30:57If you ring,
30:58you get a recorded message
30:59saying you can have lunch in...
31:01Oh, three or four months.
31:02July, I think it is.
31:03And if you want dinner,
31:04you have to wait till...
31:06Three or four months.
31:07Yeah, it's a long time, yeah.
31:08So we said, okay,
31:09we rang out and said,
31:10could we have a table for four
31:12for Nigel Mansell?
31:14Guess when they said
31:15he could have a table?
31:16Three or four months.
31:17Friday.
31:21Really?
31:21You don't want mono-brow
31:23in your restaurant, okay?
31:24He's not coming,
31:25it was a trick.
31:26So when you get back,
31:26cross him out the...
31:27Okay, yeah.
31:29Don't forget,
31:29we are a charity, mate,
31:30so, you know.
31:30But do you know what's even funnier?
31:32we rang up the next day
31:34and we booked a table
31:35for Gilles Villeneuve.
31:37He's dead!
31:40I'll tell you,
31:41you know what I did the other day?
31:42I find out my own restaurant
31:44and pretended to be you
31:45and they wouldn't give me
31:46a table till December.
31:54Are you...
31:55I mean, you are an Essex boy, yeah?
31:57Yes.
31:57Do you do the Essex thing with cars?
31:59I mean, do you tart them up
32:00and so on?
32:01I don't know what it is.
32:01I don't know if I think
32:02it's a lead in the water
32:03or something,
32:03but, like, basically,
32:04everyone buys
32:05really dodgy cars
32:07and does them up
32:07with spoilers
32:08and...
32:09I mean, at one point,
32:11I think my car was worth
32:11800 quid
32:12and my stereo was worth
32:131,300 quid.
32:14So, it's just pathetic
32:16but I was there
32:17so I'm guilty.
32:18And you're still at it,
32:19of course, today, really.
32:20You claim to have grown up
32:21but you've got a camper van.
32:23Oh, yeah, yeah.
32:24But it's not a normal camper van.
32:25It's a beautiful thing, yeah.
32:27Just talk us through it.
32:28We've got it.
32:28It's there.
32:29It's there.
32:30It's behind us, look.
32:31Yeah, I love it, dearly.
32:32I just wish it worked
32:34more, you know, reliably.
32:36What have you done to that, then?
32:37Well, it kept it looking
32:38pretty original
32:39but I've got, like,
32:41you know, all the little
32:41bits and pieces in it,
32:42pull-out double bed,
32:43a kitchen in the back,
32:44you know, TV, DVD
32:45and all that sort of stuff.
32:46But most importantly,
32:48I've got a Porsche
32:493.6-litre engine
32:50in the back, which is...
32:52This is it, okay?
32:54We had this brilliant idea
32:55where we thought
32:56we'd see if Jamie
32:57could do some cooking
32:59in his van
33:00while going round our track
33:02with the Stig driving.
33:04Anyone want to see what happened?
33:07I'd love to see.
33:07Yes?
33:08What we're going to make today
33:12is a beautiful salad
33:13of mozzarella, fig, rocket, mint,
33:16all those beautiful things.
33:18I want to tear up my mozzarella.
33:22I want to take the tips
33:23off of my figs.
33:25Oh, my Lord.
33:27And what I want to do
33:28is...
33:29put a little roby-boil in.
33:37Just dress the salad.
33:50Basically, if you toss it up
33:51and put that
33:53on there,
33:55right, hopefully it'll look nice.
33:57That was horrible.
34:09And I honestly
34:10felt really sick afterwards.
34:12Was he really going for it?
34:14He was really going for it,
34:15but also I couldn't see
34:15anything going on.
34:16So all I'd know
34:17is that every now and again
34:17when I thought things
34:18were going quite well,
34:19because I really wanted
34:19to show off.
34:20I would make it good
34:21or whatever he does,
34:22I'll make it look beautiful.
34:22but when the car went,
34:24I was like...
34:25Right, of course,
34:28you're not here
34:29just to fool around
34:30on our track
34:31with you, Maserati,
34:32because we don't just
34:33have people in here to chat.
34:35You're the star
34:36in a reasonably priced car.
34:37You had to go out there
34:38and we see how fast
34:39you go around.
34:39Oh, yeah, I forgot about this.
34:40Suzuki Liana.
34:42Now, this is the list
34:43of people who've been around,
34:44well, in the last series
34:45and then this one as well.
34:46Is there anyone on here
34:47that you're particularly keen
34:49on beating?
34:49Who do you think
34:50I was trying to beat?
34:52Gordon Ramsay.
34:53Gordon Ramsay is a very
34:54good friend of mine
34:55and I've spent my whole
34:56life chasing him
34:57and I just want to
34:58beat him for once
34:59in my life.
35:00The only slight worry
35:01about that from my point
35:02of view is that Gordon
35:02did it at exactly
35:03the same time as me,
35:04so if you beat him,
35:05you beat me too.
35:06That's all right.
35:08I know, I don't...
35:10Shall we see how you got on?
35:12If I beat you,
35:13I'll be the happiest
35:14boy in the world, mate.
35:14You'll be the deadest.
35:16Let's have a look.
35:19Gordon had a better start
35:21than that.
35:23You should have got
35:23down to Specsavers.
35:27Oh, you've got your
35:27window down.
35:29Oh, no.
35:30No, you're never
35:30going to beat Gordon
35:31because he had his window
35:32up.
35:35That is tight there.
35:36That is really tight.
35:37Did I just hit the camera?
35:39No.
35:40Gordon had finished by now,
35:41opened another restaurant.
35:42Oh, nice cornering actually.
35:44One more corner to go.
35:45Gambon bend.
35:46That's quite neat as well.
35:48and across the line.
36:00So, you wanted to beat
36:02Gordon Ramsay.
36:03Yes, please.
36:04Who's here, okay?
36:06Please, Gordon,
36:07this is an important thing
36:08for me.
36:08You've got your Michelin star,
36:09this is mine.
36:10Yeah, he's got more than
36:11one Michelin star.
36:12All right, he's got several.
36:13Okay, Jamie, Oliver,
36:17you've got to beat
36:18one minute 50.
36:20Yeah.
36:20You did it
36:21in one minute
36:2350
36:24seconds.
36:27Yes!
36:27You needn't think it'll look like that
36:52next week.
36:52Here, have a bottle of
36:55baby champagne
36:55since it's on a luxury program
36:57and thank you very much for coming.
36:58You have been brilliant.
37:00Thank you very much.
37:00Ladies and gentlemen,
37:01Jamie Oliver.
37:01Thank you.
37:04That's great.
37:04Right, insider dealing.
37:22Now, Hammond,
37:23as we know,
37:23in September there's a new
37:24BMW 5 Series.
37:26There is.
37:26Which is fantastic news
37:27because frankly there's nothing wrong
37:28with the old one
37:29and we've found some deals.
37:30How about this?
37:31The 5 Series ES model,
37:332 litre or 2.5 litre petrol engines
37:36or a 2.5 diesel,
37:37same car but up to 4,000 quid's worth
37:39of extra kit
37:40and it's not rubbish, okay?
37:42It's alloy wheels,
37:43metallic paint,
37:44sports suspension,
37:46luxury interior trim fittings
37:48and if you have the diesel
37:49you have three years free servicing.
37:51A couple of important things there.
37:52Number one,
37:53that means BMW dealers are dealing
37:55which they don't.
37:57They are famous.
37:58Once in a lifetime opportunity.
37:58Exactly, famously mean.
38:00So if they're given
38:00four grand's worth of kit
38:01it might be worth having a go
38:03at getting more money off the car.
38:04Might be worth a go.
38:05And it's a great car.
38:06I mean the current outgoing
38:07It's a fantastic car.
38:08They didn't need to replace it.
38:09Worth looking out for.
38:10Now the GTV and Spyder,
38:12they've been around
38:13quite a long time
38:13but they're still fantastic
38:14and that car still has
38:15the best headlights
38:16in the motor industry.
38:17Yeah, I mean it's flawed.
38:18It's got no boot space,
38:20it's an Alfa Romeo
38:20bitch drop off it
38:21but it's somehow
38:23still very cool.
38:24Now this is being titivated
38:26in September, okay?
38:27It's going to have
38:27a new face
38:28and it's going to have
38:29some engine revisions
38:30and so on
38:30but there are still
38:31some of the existing
38:31model knocking around.
38:32I had a quick ring round
38:33Alfa Romeo dealers
38:35and I found a Spyder Lusso.
38:36So this has got leather seats
38:37and the electric hood.
38:39It's 22,750 pounds
38:41and just on the phone
38:42he said
38:43yours for 20 grand.
38:45What, so you've got
38:452,750 pounds off
38:48just with a phone call.
38:49Excellent, okay.
38:50Now if I say to you
38:51big French car
38:52what do you think?
38:53Oh dear.
38:54Usually.
38:55Yes, Citroen C5.
38:56it's struggling a bit.
38:57It's a bit ugly
38:58but it's very comfortable
38:59and this exclusive model
39:00I've been looking at
39:01it's loaded with kits
39:02it's got electric everything
39:03and alloy wheels
39:04and climate control
39:04and all the rest of it.
39:06It's 19,495 pounds
39:09but there's a 3,400 pound
39:11cash back deal
39:12and I thought this would be
39:13tied into some ridiculous
39:14finance option
39:15that meant that you had
39:16to give your furniture away
39:17as well but it's not.
39:18If you go in a dealer
39:19and buy it with your
39:19Switch card
39:20you still get the
39:213,400 pounds cash back
39:22so let's say
39:23it's a 16 grand car
39:24all of a sudden.
39:25So you're getting a 16 grand
39:27and it's big
39:28It's big
39:28It's ugly
39:29Full of kit
39:30If that was the equivalent
39:31Mondeo
39:32that would be a 21,000
39:33Nearly 21,000
39:35That's not bad
39:35It's quite a smart buy
39:37that
39:37James, thank you very much
39:39Right
39:39This is the performance car yardstick
39:42it's the BMW M3
39:44You can use it every day
39:46or you can take it to a track
39:48and it'll set
39:49your trousers on fire
39:50A couple of things
39:51you might like to know
39:52So obviously you've got to avoid
39:54the sequential gearbox
39:55which is rubbish
39:56and ruins the whole thing
39:58and one other thing to avoid
40:00Anyone want to guess?
40:02The color
40:03The color
40:05I mean you've got
40:05I won't have the red one
40:07I won't have the blue one
40:08I won't have the black
40:09I'll have bile yellow
40:12So you avoid that
40:13you avoid the gearbox
40:14and then really
40:15you can't do better
40:16Or can you?
40:18This is the new Audi S4
40:24It doesn't look like much
40:26but they've put a V8
40:27under the bonnet
40:28A big one
40:304.2 litres
40:32They've given it more doors than the BMW
40:36They've given it more doors than the BMW
40:41and more grip in the shape of four-wheel drive
40:47And then there's the price
40:48At £36,000 it's £3,000 less than the M3
40:57So this then is Audi's lump hammer
41:00Built to break BMW's nut
41:08So has it worked?
41:23Amazingly, despite all Audi's hard work
41:25in a simple straight line race down our runway
41:28This was the result
41:34You see, although the Audi has a thousand more cc's
41:37and two more cylinders
41:38It only develops one more brake horsepower
41:41than the lighter BMW
41:43But what happens when the road gets twisty?
41:47Being four-wheel drive, the Audi's the opposite of a barbecue
41:59It's better when wet
42:04But it's also very good in the dry
42:06The handling is absolutely sublime
42:10This is harnessed lunacy
42:14But I still don't think it's as much fun as the unhinged M3
42:24That's the thing about the Audi
42:28The engine is a masterpiece, it really is
42:32And it's beautifully made and very safe
42:38But in terms of sheer entertainment
42:42It's like a dinner party
42:44Civilised conversation, glass of wine
42:47Bit of Sade on the stereo
42:49The BMW on the other hand
43:00That's more like a 2am Ibiza beach barbecue
43:05It's a party
43:08I always say that I'm a
43:19I deal with you with your attitude
43:23Oh
43:25But they don't love me
43:28Me
43:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
44:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
44:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
45:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
45:30και κασίξε βράβουν
45:32Ε κάποιος, τραγματληξά είναι κόλοντας αυτού του ΒΜΟΕΙ ΒΟΕΙ συνέχε.
45:36ΩραΛΟΜΑΣ ΒΟΕΙ μέσα στο μπ革 cada 1 μντ π 1.8.
45:39Ωραία, γίν χωρίς ενδίκες των Αἴgende ΙΠΟΕ,
45:41Ωραία, ακόμα,
45:43είναι πως το Αυτοί Σ4,
45:45που ήρνε στο μπλώντας αυτούς του ΒΟΕΙ,
45:47αλλά φορά το ΜΗΛΙΙΑ,
45:50Μμήν π wün Ωνήνει.
45:51Σε μετά από το αυτοκούς τόσος δελειώντας didnτρικα.
45:53Ήταν μάλλον μου στο φτάσμα τα μητώντα,
45:56Ω 죄 ναι, τι λέγ Prevention.
45:59Ωραία, Ρωραία. Ωραία, Ρωραία, κάτι στους βιλίες.
46:02Ωραία, στις ο άνθρωπος, είναι σίγχε, βλέμον τον κόλιο γάρος...
46:05...Η έλεγα, και στίχερα, συνένα σαφηκό με βίντεο.
46:07Μέumuρντες για τον ασφάλι του ραμοκλού που είναι σώδιю ,
46:11και ήταν να βουσιάζει να μιλήσει όλα.
46:13Και η μόνο με το λίστο στρομή έγινε από το καταπίτιο πιτός και είπε,
46:18«Κιναι, θα έρθατε τον κατάπιν, δεν μπορούσα να βοηθήσει.
46:21Ήταν πολύ καλύτερα στο μέρος και τώρα που βρούσαμε ότι είναι πολύ καλύτερα στο μέρος.
46:25Ωραία, τι θα έχω, τώρα, γερήμι.
46:27Ωραία, γι'ναι, θέλω να κρατήσω για μία κατάσταση,
46:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
47:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
47:30Contraining that the BBC is biased against the Tory party.
47:35Now the BBC is taking this very seriously.
47:38And so are we.
47:39So, we saw Bernard Jenkins, the Tory there,
47:41go around our nice dry test track and set his time.
47:45Then we made the other candidates wait a little bit.
47:47Until this happened.
47:48Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:18Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:48Υποτιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:50Υποτιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:52Υποτιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:54Υποτιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:56Υποτιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
48:58Υποτιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
49:00Ρίχνει, θα υποβάστημα.
49:03Ω ναι, νομίζω, νομίζω.
49:06Ρίχνει, νομίζω.
49:12Ποια ηλίδα θα πρέπει να γίνει πιο πιο πιο πιο πιο πινόματοτε.
49:17Ω, στα διάρκεια.
49:19Ω, λίγο εγώ.
49:21Αφού, αλλιώς, είναι ότι θα το ρίχνει πιο πινόματοτε.
49:25Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE.
49:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
50:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
50:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:02Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:04Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:06Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:08Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:10Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:12Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:14Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:16Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:18Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:20Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:22Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:24Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:26Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:28Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:30Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:32Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:34Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:36Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:38Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:40Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:42Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:44Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:46Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:48Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:50Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:52Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:54Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:56Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
51:58Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
52:00Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
52:02Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
52:32Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
53:02Υπότιτλοι AUTHORWAVE
Be the first to comment