00:00You
00:14Stan
00:19Why 11 calling chaos
00:22Why 11 calling chaos from control headquarters. This is chaos. Go ahead
00:28Jaime the control robot has been programmed. He's ready to begin
00:32When the job is completed his memory bank will automatically erase itself. He will be unable to recall what happened
00:40excellent proceed as planned. Yes, sir
00:44Jaime go
00:50To all departments it has come to my attention that some members of the control organization have been abusing the privileges of the coffee
00:57Break
00:58One coffee breaks will be for 10 minutes duration to coffee cups will no longer be used for target practice
01:10Jaime what's the meaning of this? I'm going to kill you
01:13I
01:19I'm going to kill you
01:21I'm going to kill you. I'm the chief. I'm your friend
01:25I'm going to kill you
01:35Stop it. It's me max
01:38What are you trying to do max?
01:39I'm going to have to short-circuit his wiring system
01:41Well, hurry hurry
01:42Jaime are you AC or DC?
01:43I am going to kill you
01:45Hurry max
01:46I think he's AC. I'll plug him into DC and see what happens
01:48Quick
01:49Hold on chief. Use those fantastic throat muscles
01:55I am going to kill you
02:01What happened chief?
02:03He crashed through that door and said he was going to kill me
02:05But this is impossible chief
02:07Jaime has been a loyal member of control ever since we've stolen from chaos
02:11Max Jaime is a robot a machine and machines can be dangerous
02:14Well, what are we going to do?
02:15We'll have to destroy him
02:16Destroy him?
02:18You can't destroy Jaime. Jaime's my friend
02:21Max
02:22This friend just broke through my office door smashed my desk to pieces and almost strangled me with his bare hands
02:27How do you explain that?
02:29I said he was my friend not yours
02:44And that's so much aspects of his work
02:59Coming up
03:01But this is still a secret
03:07And next time
03:09Kersh, Phelps, you men are in charge of security procedures.
03:35Have you any idea how this happened?
03:37No, sir.
03:38Is Jaime locked up?
03:39Yes, sir.
03:40He's harmless until his main power unit is reactivated.
03:43Well, keep him that way.
03:43I don't want him breaking up any more of our furniture.
03:45Yes, sir.
03:47I just can't believe he did it.
03:50Why?
03:50Because he's programmed for neatness.
03:52What he's programmed for?
03:54He's got to be disassembled, and you're going to do it.
03:56Me?
03:57Why me?
03:58Why not?
03:58You brought him into the organization, didn't you?
04:00But I can't do that to Jaime.
04:01Chief, Jaime is my friend.
04:03Why, he saved my life once.
04:05He's like a brother to me.
04:06Max, Jaime is a cybernaut.
04:08What's his religion got to do with it?
04:10He's a robot, a mechanical man, and I want him disassembled.
04:14I won't do it.
04:14You won't?
04:15No, I won't.
04:16I'd rather you have me disassembled than Jaime.
04:19Hmm.
04:20I'll do it.
04:26Okay, Jaime, cough.
04:28Oh, boy.
04:30My guess is that someone has really been tampering around with your insides.
04:33Now, think, Jaime.
04:34Think hard.
04:35Don't you remember anything that happened at all?
04:37The last thing I remember, I was in the lab oiling my teeth.
04:42Oiling your teeth?
04:43I oil my teeth twice a day and see a mechanic every six months.
04:47I have a tendency to rust.
04:49The next thing I knew was a few minutes ago when you reactivated my main power unit.
04:53You don't remember anything about attacking the chief and trying to choke him?
04:57No.
04:58Well, I'll tell you this much.
04:59Unless we get some clues on how this whole thing happened, I'm gonna have to...
05:03I know, Max.
05:04You'll have to disassemble me.
05:09I can't do it, Jaime.
05:11You have to do it, Max.
05:12It's your duty.
05:13Don't tell me my duty.
05:14I know what it is.
05:15Don't worry about me.
05:16I understand.
05:17The security of the nation is at stake.
05:19Oh, Jaime.
05:21I've had a good life.
05:22Will you stop talking like that, Jaime?
05:24My country, Tim.
05:26Come on, Jaime.
05:27Just be quiet.
05:29I can't concentrate.
05:30Just shut your trap.
05:32Jaime, do you have to take everything I say so literally?
05:35I'm sorry, Max.
05:36Okay, just get a grip on yourself.
05:39Forget it, Jaime.
05:40Hey, this is what I want you to do.
05:44This is the key to my apartment.
05:46Take it, get over there, and stay there.
05:48But someone will see me when I leave here.
05:53Not if you jump out the window.
05:55It's only 10 or 12 feet down.
06:0113 feet, 10 inches from windowsill to point of impact.
06:05Well, make as little noise as possible.
06:06Try to jump on the grass, not the pavement.
06:09Right.
06:10Oh, Jaime, if anybody sees you going into my apartment, tell them that you're my cousin.
06:15Right.
06:15Okay.
06:17Is anybody coming?
06:18No.
06:19Okay, now remember, jump on the grass, not the sidewalk.
06:23Okay, jump.
06:24I missed it by that much.
06:30Oh, hello.
06:48Uh, I was looking for Max.
06:49Is he home?
06:50No.
06:52I haven't seen you around here before.
06:53Are you a friend of his?
06:54I am Max's cousin.
06:55May I help you?
06:56Oh, yes.
06:57I wanted to borrow some sugar.
06:59Sugar.
07:01Oh, just enough for a cup of coffee.
07:05Or two.
07:05I have to tell you, men, this has been a trying experience for Max.
07:14We understand, Chief.
07:15I'm finished, Chief.
07:23So long, Jaime.
07:25Are you all right, Max?
07:28Yes, Chief, but this has been kind of a sad day for me.
07:31I'd like to go home.
07:33Of course.
07:34You can have the whole day off.
07:36And take tomorrow off, too.
07:37Thank you, Chief.
07:39With pay?
07:44How about overtime?
07:46Overtime?
07:47No, absolutely not.
07:49Okay, okay.
07:50You don't have to shout.
07:51I may be greedy, but I'm not deaf.
07:53Hello, Jaime.
08:02Have a nice day at the office?
08:03Yes, thank you.
08:05Well, I think I'll just fix myself a cup of coffee,
08:07and then we'll get down to work.
08:09Do you use sugar?
08:11No.
08:12Good.
08:13There isn't any.
08:15There isn't any, but that's ridiculous.
08:16I just bought a 10-pound bag.
08:20Listen, Jaime.
08:21I'm getting a little worried that someone has been
08:23tampering with your mechanism.
08:25Many have looked at my works.
08:27Did any of them touch any tubes or fiddle with your wires?
08:30I don't think so.
08:33Well, try and remember, Jaime,
08:35because if someone has been tampering with your circuits,
08:38it would have to be somebody from inside of control.
08:40That means we've got a spy in our midst.
08:42I have checked my memory tape.
08:44There is no record of tampering.
08:46Hmm.
08:46Well, let's see.
08:48I've got some books here on electronics.
08:50Maybe if I look through them, I can find out something.
08:53Well, let's see.
09:01Well, let's see if we take these two wires
09:17and put them over here by the connecting rod,
09:19I think we've got something.
09:22Jaime, where is my cigarette?
09:24I put it in my pocket.
09:25You put it in your pocket.
09:27May I ask why you put it in your pocket?
09:29It was getting the ashtray dirty again.
09:33Okay, Jaime.
09:34Uh-huh.
09:39Just as I thought, there is a spy.
09:41Really?
09:42He must be very small.
09:45No, Jaime, I didn't mean inside of you.
09:48I meant inside of control.
09:50You tickle me.
09:52Stop that.
09:54That's just an expression, Jaime.
09:56Now, it's obvious that you've been rewired.
09:59That's why you attacked the chief.
10:02Now, think.
10:02Can you remember anybody else being inside of there besides me?
10:05I have a vague memory of a pair of cold hands.
10:09They probably erased your memory tape.
10:12What do we do now?
10:13Well, whoever the spy is who was fooling around inside here
10:17probably thinks that you're destroyed.
10:19And we've got to have him think that way
10:21so that it'll give us time to find out who it is.
10:24Right.
10:24Now, we've got to take every precaution
10:27to see that nobody knows that you're here.
10:30And that means no standing by open windows,
10:32no loud talking,
10:33and if someone should happen to knock at the front door,
10:36don't make a sound.
10:38Come in.
10:42Hello, Max.
10:43Phoebe.
10:43I just wanted to return the sugar I borrowed from your cousin.
10:46Oh, thank you.
10:47My cousin?
10:48Oh, yes, of course, my cousin.
10:51You two have met?
10:52Well, not formally.
10:54My name is Jaime.
10:55How do you do?
10:56My name's Phoebe.
10:57Phoebe is the chief's niece.
11:02By the way, Phoebe,
11:03what are you doing here in Washington?
11:04Oh, I just decided to come in for a few days.
11:07My uncle suggested I take a room here
11:08and you could kind of look after me.
11:10Or if you're busy, maybe Jaime could.
11:12Yes.
11:13Well, Jaime,
11:14don't you have a very important engagement?
11:16I'm sorry,
11:17but that's probably been erased from my memory tape.
11:21Don't pay any attention to him, Phoebe.
11:23He's an electronics genius.
11:25Oh, are you in electronics?
11:27No.
11:28Electronics are in me.
11:29Yes, well, Phoebe,
11:31it was certainly nice of you to drop by.
11:33Perhaps we could have dinner some night.
11:34Oh, I'd love to.
11:35Good, good.
11:36Bye, Phoebe.
11:38Electronics are in me.
11:41Well, that's just beautiful.
11:42Now, all she's got to do
11:43is tell the chief you're here
11:44and we'll both be disassembled.
11:46Honey, what are you doing?
11:53Will you stop cleaning up,
11:54following me around and picking up?
11:56You're beginning to get on my nerves.
11:57I'm programmed for neatness.
11:59Well, I'm programmed for sloppiness
12:01and that's the way I like it.
12:09Well, what's the matter now?
12:10Our first fight.
12:14Look, honey,
12:15I'm sorry I raised my voice.
12:16I know you've been under a big strain
12:17for the past two days.
12:19A lot you care.
12:21I do care.
12:23Then why don't you ever tell me?
12:25I care.
12:28I care.
12:31That's not the way to say it.
12:33What are you talking about?
12:35This is ridiculous.
12:40Shh.
12:41Get in the closet.
12:47Oh, Kirsch.
12:48Hello.
12:48What can I do for you?
12:49I heard some noise.
12:50Is anything wrong?
12:51Oh, no, no, no.
12:52Nothing at all.
12:53I was just talking to myself.
12:54Now, what are you doing here?
12:55Chief wants you back at headquarters.
12:57Oh.
12:58Well, why didn't you phone?
12:59Top security.
13:00Oh.
13:01Okay, Kirsch.
13:01Wait here.
13:02I'll get my coat.
13:02I'll be with you in a minute.
13:13Yes, Chief.
13:14What is it?
13:16Max, did you disassemble Jaime this morning?
13:18Of course I disassembled Jaime.
13:19I even brought you the bag of parts.
13:21Well, we had those parts reconstructed.
13:23Let me show you what we got.
13:32Well, for heaven's sake.
13:34Don't you worry, Jaime.
13:35I'll have you back looking like your old self in no time at all.
13:39And Phelps charge you with allowing Jaime to escape.
13:42We contend that you never disassembled Jaime.
13:44Nor did you intend to.
13:46Do you think that I would resort to deliberate lies, deceit, and disobedience?
13:51Yes.
13:53Well, how about this?
13:54All right, men.
13:55I'll take it from here.
13:56Right, Chief.
13:56Well, Max, your little game is over.
14:01I want to know what you've done with Jaime, and I want to know right now.
14:05I want to know what you have.
14:06Well, I'm going to go.
14:07Let's go.
14:07Well, I want to know.
14:07Yeah, let's go.
14:08Let's go.
14:08Let's go.
14:09Let's go.
14:09Let's go.
14:10Max, if you're trying to put something over on me...
14:36I'm not, Chief. I'm not.
14:37I'm telling you, this is really Jaime.
14:40They just put them together wrong.
14:42You'd better be able to prove it.
14:44Look, Chief, I've got an idea.
14:46Why don't I take the pieces home and try to put them together over the weekend?
14:49No, Max. I want to see you reassemble him here and now.
14:54Well, Chief, it's easy to take a guy apart, but it's pretty difficult to put him back together again.
14:58Ask any doctor.
15:01Here and now.
15:03Yes, sir. I've just made the new adjustment.
15:06How will it work?
15:07But through his own ingenuity, the robot will get Maxwell Smart to take him to a public restaurant for dinner.
15:15When he hears the phrase,
15:17Waiter, the check,
15:19he will shoot the one who said it.
15:21Maxwell Smart.
15:23Very good.
15:24Well, that's it, Chief. That's about the best I can do.
15:42Well, you know, Max, if this thing isn't Jaime, then he has escaped and you're an accessory.
15:48Well, did you ever think that this might be Jaime's way of proving his innocence?
15:52By running away?
15:54No, by coming back as a washing machine, Chief.
15:56Think of the possibilities. A washing machine could go anyplace.
16:02Hello.
16:04Oh, yes, he is. Just a moment.
16:06It's for you. It's your cousin.
16:07Uh, hello?
16:13Max, this is Jaime.
16:15Yes, I know. I'm in the chief's office.
16:19What's the matter?
16:21I'm lonesome.
16:24Well, I'll be home in a little while.
16:26I want to go out to dinner.
16:28I don't think that would be wise.
16:30I don't care.
16:32I've been cooped up in the house all day.
16:35Sweeping, dusting, vacuuming.
16:37I want to go out.
16:38We'll talk about it when...
16:40When I get home.
16:43Good. I'll ask Phoebe to join us.
16:45Bye.
16:46Ah!
16:52I tell you, we just can't take the chance.
16:55It's not worth the risk to be seen in public, Jaime.
16:57It's too much of a gamble, Jaime.
16:59But we have to. I promised her.
17:02Her? Who's her?
17:04Hi, Max. Hi, Jaime. Hello there.
17:06Well, here I am, all set for a big night out in the city.
17:09Her?
17:10Her.
17:11Where are we going to dinner?
17:13Yes, Max. Where are we going to dinner?
17:15Well, I know a nice, quiet, little, out-of-the-way place.
17:18Where?
17:19Nome, Alaska.
17:29Max, we've got to do something about Phoebe.
17:45Well, maybe we could get her some dancing lessons.
17:47Sure, that's what I mean, Max.
17:50You know what would happen if the chief ever found out that you let his niece go out with a robot
17:53and to say nothing of falling in love with one.
17:56Well, I don't know, 99.
17:59Phoebe's parents would like to see her get married and settle down and have kids.
18:02I can see it now.
18:04What do you mean?
18:05Jaime in the garage, tuning up his body, and Phoebe in the nursery, winding up her children.
18:11You may have a point there.
18:14Listen, 99, this is what I want you to do.
18:15I want you to dance with Jaime, and I'll stay here and talk to Phoebe.
18:18Right, Max.
18:19That looks like fun.
18:28It was.
18:29Thank you, Jaime.
18:30Very good, Jaime.
18:31You guys can really dance.
18:33Jaime, may I have the next dance?
18:35Yes, ma'am.
18:40Oh, isn't he wonderful, Max?
18:42For the first time in my life, I know what it means to be in love.
18:45Look, Phoebe, you and your uncle have been friends of mine for a long, long time,
18:50and I'd like to kind of have you think of me as another uncle,
18:53someone who has your best interest at heart,
18:55someone who wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world.
18:58All right.
18:59Phoebe, I want you to forget about Jaime.
19:01But Uncle Max, I think I'm in love with him.
19:04But, Phoebe, you don't know anything about him.
19:06You don't know anything about his background, and believe me, it's a strange one.
19:10I wouldn't care if he came from a junkyard.
19:13Funny, you should put it that way.
19:15Besides, a man's background isn't what's important, it's what's inside that counts.
19:20Would you be surprised?
19:22Uncle Max, I'm 19 years old.
19:24I'm old enough to make up my own mind.
19:27How old is Jaime?
19:28He'll be a year old in December.
19:30What's that supposed to mean?
19:32I didn't think you'd understand.
19:34Look, Phoebe, I didn't want to tell you this, but it's for your own good.
19:39Jaime is a cybernaut.
19:41Uncle Max, I'm ashamed of you.
19:43A person's religion doesn't make any difference.
19:45Oh, Max, Jaime is a marvelous dancer.
20:06And he's so intelligent.
20:08Cute, too.
20:09You, too?
20:10Jaime, see if you can grab a waiter.
20:12Now, listen, both of you.
20:17This is very important.
20:18We've got to get Jaime out of here as inconspicuously as possible.
20:22I'll pay the check and bring the car around.
20:24Then you, too, bring Jaime out.
20:26And remember, don't attract any attention to him.
20:29Right now.
20:30Yes, like that.
20:34Jaime, let him go.
20:36Well, you did tell him to grab the waiter.
20:41Jaime, I just wanted you to attract his attention so I could pay the check.
20:45I will pay the check.
20:47No, Jaime, it's my treat.
20:49I will pay the check.
20:50Next time, Jaime.
20:52I will pay the check.
20:53What does that mean, Jaime?
21:03It means I am very sorry, waiter.
21:05The check, please.
21:06Oh, come on, Jaime.
21:12The check can't be that much.
21:15Are you sure no one came to the door, Jaime?
21:18I don't remember.
21:2099, I'm almost positive that someone has been tampering with Jaime again.
21:23But no one knows he's here except you and me and Phoebe.
21:26Are you sure that no one's visited the apartment since Jaime came here?
21:29No, nobody.
21:31Wait a minute.
21:32Wait a minute.
21:33Kirsch.
21:33Of course, Kirsch has been nearby every time Jaime has gone haywire.
21:38Quite right, 86.
21:39You see what I mean?
21:41On your feet, please, all of you.
21:43You know, of course, that bullet at the restaurant was meant for you, Mr. Smart.
21:47Sorry about that, Kirsch.
21:48No matter.
21:50They say everything works out for the best.
21:52In a moment, Jaime will kill you both.
21:56Wait a minute, Kirsch.
21:58You're talking with a foreign accent.
22:00I am not.
22:01I'm speaking perfectly.
22:03As spy in control, I had foreign accent.
22:07Well, you overlooked one thing, Kirsch.
22:09Jaime, get him.
22:11Kravashi.
22:13You see, Mr. Smart, he's in my control now.
22:21Max, get the gun.
22:25Good work, Jaime.
22:26I heard, oh, oh, Jaime, are you all right?
22:35But, Max, I don't understand.
22:37I thought Kirsch had complete control over Jaime.
22:40He did, 99.
22:41But Jaime's programming for neatness was stronger than his programming for evil.
22:48Max.
22:48Chief, what are you doing here?
22:51I suspected Kirsch was up to something.
22:52I followed him here.
22:53Yes, Chief.
22:54It was Kirsch who rewired Jaime and programmed him to attack you.
22:58Well, that solves that problem.
23:00What's going on there?
23:00She loves him, Chief.
23:05My niece in love with a robot?
23:07Well, that's not so bad, Chief.
23:08It could have been a washing machine.
23:10You've done it again, Max, even though your methods were a little unorthodox.
23:20Sorry I had to disobey your orders, Chief, but I knew Jaime was innocent.
23:24I simply had to go out and prove it.
23:25Well, now my problem is, what am I going to do about Phoebe?
23:28Yes, well, I've had a long talk with Phoebe, Chief, and I've explained everything to her,
23:32and I think she understands.
23:34Phoebe!
23:36Are you all right?
23:37Yes, Max explained everything to me.
23:39He was very kind and patient.
23:41You know, he made me understand something that I hadn't realized before.
23:44What?
23:45Well, I almost made a terrible mistake.
23:48I met a man who was warm and considerate,
23:51and because I had a schoolgirl crush on someone else, I almost passed him by.
23:55But now I know who I really love.
23:58You don't mean...
23:59Yes, Max, can you ever forgive me?
24:02Phoebe, I've known Max for a long while, and believe me, I'm very fond of him.
24:09But if it comes down to a choice between the two of them,
24:12please take Jaime.
24:13So, let's rob him for a long while, and we love him for some work, and tell me she's seen.
24:17But we always have seen dynamics at fair play, and nobody has seen as Jason Morkin as you can do.
24:17Well, but again, there's a lot of things in, oh, this time is somebody else slowed down to me.
24:22So, there's a lot of then I'll just try to make, and it's funny.
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