- ayer
KAOS creates the super-robot Groppo to destroy CONTROL's robot Hymie. Max must help Hymie defend himself, but Hymie may be too "nice" to be willing to use violence.
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00:00The
00:30Is that all of them?
00:48Yes, sir.
00:49Spinoza and Dr. Radman will be right in.
00:51Splendid.
00:52Thank you for showing them in.
00:53Well, you have to compliment them every once in a while.
01:01Otherwise, they get mad and ask for more money.
01:06Gentlemen, Dr. Radman and I have asked you here for a very vital reason.
01:12The only organization that stands in the way of our total world domination is control.
01:18They have one thing that gives them an edge.
01:21Do any of you know what it is?
01:22Maxwell Smart, secret agent 86.
01:27No, gentlemen.
01:28The one thing that gives control the upper hand is Jaime, their robot.
01:33We have tried in every conceivable way to get Jaime away from them, but we have failed.
01:38Our only other alternative was to destroy him.
01:42But we have not had the means until now.
01:47You look very familiar.
01:49Have we met before?
01:51Well, that's possible, but I usually wear glasses.
01:57There.
01:57Does that help?
01:58No, no.
02:00But don't worry.
02:01It'll come back to me.
02:02Dr. Radman created Jaime, so it seemed only fitting that he should create the means to destroy Jaime.
02:10There he is, gentlemen, the world's most powerful and vicious robot, Groppo.
02:17Dr. Radman, the control unit, please.
02:19He has been constructed to seek out and destroy Jaime.
02:26And now, with your permission, a small demonstration of Groppo's strength.
02:31Now, if two of you gentlemen will pick up that steel bar and hold it in front of Groppo, please.
02:39Groppo, what would you do if this steel bar was Jaime, the control robot?
02:48Just a sample of what Groppo can do.
02:53I am sure you all have questions and perhaps suggestions.
02:57That is why you were invited.
02:59I want you to put Groppo through his paces.
03:01Test him in any way you like.
03:03You first.
03:04I don't think that's wise.
03:06Don't be ridiculous.
03:07Why do you think I sent for these four men?
03:09How many?
03:10Four.
03:10These three and those two.
03:13Smart.
03:14Maxwell Smart.
03:16Agent 86.
03:18Thanks a lot, Blabbermouth.
03:19Now everyone in the room knows.
03:21You have mistake 86.
03:24And you're last.
03:25I don't think so.
03:26Stay right where you are.
03:27I'll take that.
03:28Dr. Radman, over there.
03:30Groppo, open that door.
03:37Now destroy the building.
03:45Live it up, kid.
04:37I'm glad the chief assigned me to this case, 86.
04:54Between us, I'm sure we can stop this Groppo.
04:56Groppo is a nice name.
04:58I'm looking forward to meeting him.
05:00Miami, Groppo doesn't want to make friends with you.
05:02He wants to destroy you.
05:04He hates you.
05:05People hate.
05:06Robots love.
05:08Miami, you're in danger.
05:09Real danger.
05:10Oh, Miami's pretty powerful.
05:12I'm sure he can take care of himself.
05:1542, you don't seem to understand.
05:17Next to Groppo, Miami is a tinker toy.
05:19Why, just look at him.
05:20He's old, used up, worn out, and he squeaks.
05:23No offense, Miami.
05:24I always thought you liked me, Max.
05:27I do like you, Miami.
05:28You're my best friend.
05:29I'm crazy about you.
05:30I want everything in the world that's good for you.
05:33But I wouldn't consider myself a true friend unless I pointed out your faults as well as the good things.
05:38You understand?
05:40Jaime, men don't kiss each other.
05:44In other words, you don't think Jaime has a chance against Groppo?
05:4742, Groppo has all the latest innovations.
05:50I hate to say it, but Jaime is depreciated.
05:53But Jaime's unique.
05:55According to the latest control blue book, we could trade Jaime even for a 1956 Edsel.
06:00No offense again, Jaime, but you understand.
06:05I told you, men don't kiss each other.
06:07A simple nod will be enough.
06:11Six, what do you think we ought to do?
06:14Well, the first thing we have to do is give Jaime a complete overall.
06:18We have to make him better, stronger, faster, and smarter than Groppo.
06:23I'll get Dr. Harris on the phone and tell him to get to work on it right away.
06:26Jaime, you better hop down to the lab.
06:30Jaime, you can walk if you want to.
06:43Go to Stark by installing the super strength extensor and flexor springs in the lower legs
06:47and work up from there.
06:49Max.
06:50What is it, Jaime?
06:51Hold my hand.
06:52Of course.
06:55Oh, sorry about that, Jaime.
06:58Now, you just relax.
07:00You're not going to feel a thing.
07:01They gave you a shot in your gearbox to numb it.
07:04I know.
07:05Now, just lie there and think pleasant thoughts.
07:09All right.
07:10It will be nice to have Groppo as my very own friend.
07:13I thought I was your friend.
07:15You are, but it's not the same.
07:17Why?
07:18Because, well, I'm different.
07:21Don't be silly, Jaime, just because you're a robot.
07:23What?
07:24Yes.
07:24People point at me, stare at me.
07:27Sometimes they won't wait on me in stores.
07:29I get lonely.
07:30And even you.
07:31Me?
07:32What did I do?
07:33Why don't you ever invite me to your club?
07:35I'll tell you why.
07:36Because they don't allow my time there.
07:38That's why.
07:39Jaime, that's ridiculous.
07:41Why?
07:41I just never invited you to my club because, well,
07:44well, I just never thought you were programmed for golf.
07:47I could learn.
07:49Oh, yes.
07:50Well, in that case, we'll go out this weekend.
07:51How about that?
07:52All right.
07:53You're not going to go anyplace unless you take good care of yourself.
07:56I'm just fine.
07:58You're not fine.
07:59You're sluggish.
08:00You're run down and out of tune.
08:02You go around all the time half-charged.
08:04If you're not careful, terrible things could happen.
08:06Like what?
08:07Well, you could end up as a cab in South America.
08:10Excuse me.
08:12Screwdriver.
08:13Screwdriver.
08:15Wrench.
08:16Wrench.
08:16Oil can.
08:19Oil can.
08:26You are certain all the adjustments have been made?
08:29Positive.
08:30He's been programmed completely pro-chaos and anti-control.
08:34We'll also continue to search until he finds Jaime.
08:37How can he find Jaime when we cannot?
08:39I've homed him in on Jaime's wavelength, and there isn't another one like it.
08:43Nothing can go wrong.
08:45He will never wear out.
08:46He will never run down.
08:48And he will obey anyone who holds this unit.
08:51Amazing, Dr. Ratton.
08:53Amazing.
08:54Just think.
08:56Chaos is the only organization in the world with the ultimate weapon.
08:59And to make sure it stays that way, Grobo, destroy Dr. Ratton.
09:08No, no, Grobo.
09:10No, Grobo.
09:11No.
09:14Grobo.
09:14Seek out and destroy Jaime.
09:18Seek out and destroy Jaime.
09:20Let nothing stand in your way.
09:28Well, does it.
09:31Now, let's stand him up.
09:32Careful.
09:36Careful.
09:38Has anybody got a mirror?
09:45Well, what do you think, Jaime?
09:46Cute as ever.
09:47Yes, we know you're cute, Jaime.
09:49But you never tell me.
09:51You're cute.
09:52You say it, but you don't really mean it.
09:53I do mean it.
09:55Don't yell.
09:56Good song.
09:57How do you feel?
09:57I'm all right.
09:59Jaime, test your arms.
10:01How?
10:01Make a muscle.
10:04Would you stop that?
10:05You want to dent your head?
10:07I'm sorry, Max.
10:08I couldn't control myself.
10:10I was afraid of that.
10:11Try walking around the room once, Jaime.
10:13What in the world is the matter with him?
10:29His new springs are so powerful, his reflex circuit hasn't adapted yet.
10:32Well, how long will that take?
10:34It's hard to say.
10:34He'll have to go into training.
10:36Of course, he responds very quickly, so it shouldn't take very long.
10:39I'm sorry, Doctor, but we don't have the time.
10:41As soon as Gropo's remote control is fixed, he'll be coming after Jaime.
10:46I'll have to find a place to hide him.
10:48Wait a minute.
10:49I know just the place.
10:50Where?
10:51A ghost town out on Highway 81.
10:53Max, that's a tourist trap.
10:55Hundreds of people go there every week.
10:56Not that one, Doctor.
10:58The one control built right across the street from it.
11:01Control built a ghost town across the street from a ghost town?
11:04Yes.
11:04In that way, no one would be suspicious in case we needed one of our own.
11:10Oh.
11:10All right, Jaime.
11:12We'll go over to my place, pick up a few things, and then we'll be on our way.
11:15Come on.
11:20Okay, Jaime, pick up your suitcase and let's go.
11:22We're late.
11:26I don't know if my shock absorbers can stand this much longer.
11:29Don't worry, Jaime.
11:30I'll teach you how to use those new springs.
11:33What's that?
11:34I don't know.
11:38Come on, Jaime, let's go.
11:39All right, Jaime, we're going to start off by taking a few laps around the town.
12:05But I must warn you before we start that I happen to be one of the greatest long-distance
12:09runners in the history of the world.
12:11So you're not expected to make a good showing.
12:13Just try to keep up with me.
12:15I'll try, Max.
12:15Okay, Jaime, let's go.
12:17Get on your mark.
12:19Set.
12:20Not set, Jaime, set.
12:24Sorry, Max.
12:24All right, let's go.
12:25On your mark, get set, go.
12:42Come on, Jaime, run.
12:43Let's go, Jaime.
12:52Now you're rolling, Jaime.
12:53Come on, run.
12:56Come on, Jaime, run.
12:57Come on, come on.
13:27Come on, Jaime.
13:28Come on, Jaime.
13:29Come on, Jaime.
13:30You've been moping around all day.
13:32I'm all right.
13:33Sure, you're mechanically perfect, but there's something wrong up here in the old gearbox.
13:37What is it?
13:38I'm lonesome.
13:41Lonesome?
13:44Who are you lonesome for?
13:45For my friends at the office.
13:47What friends?
13:48Shirley the intercom, Sid the coffee machine, Trudy the noiseless typewriter, Rex the elevator.
13:53Listen, I'm sure your friends will understand that this is a very important mission.
13:58If you don't snap out of it, Groppo was going to make scrap iron out of you.
14:02Not if I reason with him.
14:03He's probably just as lonesome as I am.
14:07Jaime, where are you going?
14:09A while ago, I happened upon some buttercups in a nearby field.
14:12I thought I'd pick up a few to brighten up the cabin.
14:21Buttercups?
14:29Other than this aversion to violence, Jaime is functioning well.
14:33Well, as far as I can tell, he's as strong and as fast as Groppo.
14:38I just don't know what to do about his mental attitude.
14:41I do.
14:42What is it, Harris?
14:44Several of Jaime's emotional elements have cross-fused,
14:47causing all evil impulses to be totally rejected.
14:50Jaime is permanently programmed for good and nice.
14:54Well, we can take care of that very easily.
14:57All you have to do is program him to be mean and then change him back again afterwards.
15:01It would be impossible to change him back.
15:04Jaime would be mean the rest of his life.
15:07Well, we can't do that to Jaime.
15:08We have to.
15:09The future of the whole world is at stake.
15:12We've got to convert him first thing in the morning.
15:14If you don't mind, I'd like to be the one to tell him.
15:17Of course, 86.
15:19When?
15:20Tomorrow, right after breakfast.
15:22It's not the kind of a thing you tell a fellow on an empty crankcase.
15:25I'm sorry about that, Harris.
15:55Oh, hi, 13.
16:02Where?
16:03So close?
16:05Okay, we'll keep an eye out for him.
16:07That was Agent 13.
16:08He says that Groper was spotted out on the highway, headed in this direction.
16:12According to the way he was traveling, he should be here by morning.
16:15You know what that means, Max?
16:16Yes, I know what it means.
16:18We've got to reprogram Jaime.
16:19Right.
16:20You stay here.
16:20I'll go in and prepare them.
16:26Jaime, get up.
16:27I have to talk to you.
16:28Harris, 42.
16:42Come here.
16:46Listen to this.
16:47Sorry to leave like this, but I thought about what it would be like to be mean and evil
16:52and what it's like to be good and nice.
16:54I've decided nice is nicer.
16:57Love, Jaime.
16:58He's run out.
17:00Not only that, he burned his control card.
17:03Well, I guess that means we've had it.
17:05No, it does not.
17:08Not yet, we haven't.
17:09Jaime was pushed into this by the forces of greed and evil.
17:13It's up to us to stay here and see that those forces are wiped off the face of the earth forever.
17:18I will fight Groppo.
17:20You can't.
17:21You're right.
17:22How about you, Harris?
17:23You look in pretty good shape.
17:2642?
17:28Well, I guess it's me again.
17:3186.
17:31You're a brave man.
17:33I know that 42.
17:35I'm also fearless, cunning, resourceful, and have the biggest mouth in the world.
17:41Yeah.
17:41I know that 42.
17:43I know that 42.
17:50Yeah.
17:51Yeah.
17:51Yeah.
17:52Yeah.
17:53Yeah.
18:02Yeah.
18:03Yeah.
18:09Harris, have you got my boots ready yet?
18:21Here they are, Max.
18:23Your boots are now outfitted with nuclear-powered 45-caliber bullets, ready to go.
18:27I haven't had time to test the recoil, so be careful when you fire them.
18:31And these cufflinks are powerful grenades.
18:34It's sun-up.
18:35Groppo should be here at any minute.
18:36Yes, and when he gets here, I want you two to get out of sight and keep out of sight.
18:41It's remarkable how you can take time to think of our safety, even when your own life is at stake.
18:46Yes, I know, 42.
18:48Besides, Groppo might get mad if he thinks we're ganging up on him.
18:51All right, now, you all know what to do.
18:52We don't know where Groppo might be hiding, so the minute anybody sees him, just sing out.
18:56Okay, let's go.
19:06I found him!
19:28Okay, Groppo, that's it.
19:34You're under arrest.
19:35Assault with a deadly weapon, operating without a robot.
19:38And pushing.
19:45Hold it, 42.
19:46I'll use my cufflink grenades.
19:48If there's anything I hate, it's a show-off.
20:12All right, Groppo, don't come any closer.
20:20These may look like boots, but actually, they're deadly weapons.
20:24Give them both barrels, Max.
20:31Got the other ideas, Harris?
20:36Here, try this.
20:38A slingshot?
20:39It worked once for David.
20:40I hope Groppo remembers the story.
21:03Forget it.
21:07Jamie!
21:10Groppo!
21:13Groppo!
21:40Hi.
21:41The last time we met, I didn't have a chance to introduce myself.
21:44I'm Jaime.
21:45I've been looking forward to this.
21:48Would you like to sit down and cool your tubes?
21:52How about a nice glass of kerosene and oil?
21:56A quick charge?
21:59Okay, you think of something then.
22:01Perhaps we have some mutual friends.
22:10Ethel, the PBX board.
22:14Francis, the coffee machine.
22:16Bruce, the elevator.
22:21Okay, tough guy.
22:22Let's see you get out of this one.
22:23What do you think you're doing?
22:29Nice is nice, but enough is enough.
23:48Oh, that's all right, Jaime.
23:50Hey, what made you change your mind?
23:52What made you come back?
23:53I couldn't help myself.
23:54I was sure I could reason with Gropo, make him understand, be his friend.
23:58But when he started to hurt you, the oil rushed to my head.
24:01I'm sorry it had to end this way.
24:02Oh, don't worry about it, Jaime.
24:04Gropo was evil.
24:07One good thing came out of it, though, Max.
24:08I know that you're my friend now.
24:10You really care about me.
24:11Well, of course I care about you, Jaime.
24:13You saved my life.
24:15Please, Max, a simple nod will be enough.
24:17Good point.
24:20Good point.
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