- hace 7 semanas
Over a period of 6 months, 20 CONTROL agents have disappeared, and it's Max's job to protect agent Michael Kendall as he gets on a plane. Unfortunately, Kendall becomes KAOS abductee 21 right from under Max's nose. After the Chief goes missing, Max tries to arrange for himself to be kidnapped in a similar fashion, and uncovers the kidnapping method. It turns out that the CONTROL agents are being housed in a secret prison camp somewhere in New Jersey, which is run by Siegfried and Starker. Max visits the camp undercover as a top-ranking KAOS official in hopes of rescuing the prisoners.
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00:00Flight 229 to Lisbon and Madrid is now boarding at Gate 3.
00:17Well, Kendall, we got you to the airport safely.
00:20Now all we have to do is to get you on that flight to London.
00:23First, I'm going to get myself a good stiff drink.
00:24But you never drink.
00:25I never drove with you either.
00:27Now, you check your bag.
00:29I'm going to report in to the chief.
00:30Okay, 86.
00:31Flight 6, leaving for New York, London and Paris.
00:36Leaving at Gate 67.
00:38Now aboard, please.
00:57Hello, chief.
00:58This is Max.
01:00Well, I got Kendall here to the airport without anything going wrong.
01:03This is one control agent that chaos is not going to get their hands on.
01:06By this time tomorrow, Kendall will be in London delivering the top secret defense plan, NATO.
01:13What's that?
01:14Oh, really?
01:16Uh, thank you.
01:17Hello, operator.
01:20I just got the wrong number.
01:24Flight 69.
01:27May I help you, sir?
01:29I'm on flight 10 to London.
01:30I'd like some insurance.
01:32Will that be round trip?
01:33I certainly hope so.
01:36And your name, please?
01:37Michael Kendall.
01:38If you'll just fill this out, sir.
01:49I just checked in with headquarters.
01:51Are you ready, Kendall?
01:51In a second, Smart.
01:52I'm putting you down as beneficiary.
01:54Oh, well, that's very generous of you, Kendall.
01:57Here you are.
01:59Telephone call from Michael Kendall.
02:01Michael Kendall.
02:03That's for me.
02:05Where can I take it, miss?
02:06You can take it in that booth over there.
02:19Flight 13.
02:21For Chicago and New York.
02:24Now boarding at gate 25.
02:27Hurry up, Kendall.
02:28We've got less than 10 minutes.
02:31Kendall?
02:38Kendall?
02:45Miss, you know that man that just filled out an insurance policy?
02:48Yes.
02:48How long do I have to wait before I can file a claim?
03:51The job was to guard Kendall so chaos wouldn't get their hands on him.
04:09How could you have failed so miserably?
04:1121 of our top agents have disappeared in the last six months.
04:15Kendall was the most important man left.
04:17How could you have let him disappear from under your very nose?
04:21You nincompoop!
04:22Who's he talking to?
04:24Nobody.
04:24He's rehearsing.
04:26Rehearsing, yes.
04:27Well, tell him something came up and we couldn't make it.
04:30You've got to go in.
04:31He's expecting you.
04:32Yeah.
04:32Hello, Chief.
04:43Hi, Chief.
04:45Hello, 99.
04:47Larrabee, tell Smart I'm going to talk to him through you because I don't want to talk to him personally.
04:52I don't blame you, Chief.
04:53He handled this assignment like an incompetent nincompoop.
04:55Well, I like that.
04:57You did?
04:58I didn't like it at all.
04:59Larrabee, tell Smart I want a detailed explanation right now.
05:03Right, Chief.
05:03The Chief says he wants to...
05:04Don't you talk to me, Larrabee, after what you just called me.
05:0799, would you...
05:07Do you think I'd have anything to do with you after what you just called my husband?
05:11Chief, they won't talk to me.
05:12Well, I don't blame them.
05:13I'm in charge here.
05:15What right do you have to give a personal opinion?
05:16Well, Chief, I just thought...
05:17Don't talk to me.
05:1999, tell Max...
05:20Chief, if you can't talk to my husband, don't bother talking to me either.
05:23Well, this is ridiculous.
05:25We're supposed to be having a meeting and nobody's talking to anybody.
05:28Larrabee, tell Max I'm sorry.
05:30I'm not talking to you, Chief.
05:32Look, we got off on the wrong foot and it's getting us nowhere.
05:35If I offended anybody in this office, I apologize.
05:38Max, what do you think happened to Kendall?
05:41Well, Chief, I've been giving it a lot of thought and I have a theory.
05:45I'd like to hear it.
05:46Okay, Chief, here it is.
05:48Control Agent Kendall went into that telephone booth and disappeared.
05:56Go on.
05:57That's my theory.
05:58That's it?
06:00Well, maybe your theory, but it's not much of an explanation.
06:03Max, I want to know everything that happened from the moment you walked into that terminal.
06:06Okay, Chief.
06:07Well, I walked into the terminal.
06:11Then I looked around to see if the coast was clear.
06:13Then I nodded for Kendall to follow me.
06:16Flight 46.
06:19Well, then I told him to check his luggage at the baggage counter while I telephoned you at headquarters.
06:24Go ahead.
06:25Well, then I went to the insurance counter and that's when I heard him paged on the telephone.
06:29Paged on the phone? That's impossible.
06:31Why? They have a phone here.
06:33No, Max.
06:34Kendall was traveling under a code Z.
06:36The only ones who knew about his flight were you and me and I didn't phone him.
06:39But somebody must have telephoned him, Chief, because I was with him when he was paged.
06:43And then I followed him to the telephone just before he disappeared.
06:47Come on.
06:48We are government agents. We'd like to ask you a few questions.
06:51Certainly.
06:52Did you page a Michael Kendall this morning?
06:54Kendall?
06:55Mm-hmm.
06:55Kendall.
06:56Sounds familiar, but it's hard for me to say.
06:59So many people come through here during the course of the day.
07:01But if you did page him, would you call him from this counter?
07:04Yes. We use this microphone right here.
07:06Thank you. Come on, Max.
07:09Government agents.
07:10Yes. I have it.
07:40Telephone call for Mr. Harold Clark.
07:44Mr. Harold Clark.
07:45Max, listen.
07:47They just paged Harold Clark.
07:49Harold Clark.
07:50Of course.
07:51It was Harold Clark who phoned Kendall.
07:53No, Max, that's my code name.
07:54I'm Harold Clark.
07:56Well, you better answer the phone, Harold.
07:59It's just possible that whoever phoned Kendall this morning could also be phoning me.
08:03You're right, Chief.
08:04Come on.
08:05You can use this phone over here.
08:06Keep your eyes open, Max.
08:08Well, Mr. J.R.
08:10Colesser.
08:12Will Mr. J.R.
08:14Colesser please report to the information counter?
08:17Hey, Chief, that girl at the counter is...
08:21Chief?
08:24Chief!
08:25Uh, Miss?
08:30Yes, sir?
08:30Uh, do you have a lost and found?
08:34Hello?
08:34Yes, sir.
08:35And no, the Chief isn't here.
08:37I'll tell him you call, Senator.
08:38Right.
08:40Hello?
08:42And no, the Chief isn't here.
08:43I'm sorry.
08:44Right.
08:45I'll have him call the White House as soon as he gets in.
08:47Hello?
08:48These orders have to be signed by the Chief and delivered to the Pentagon immediately.
08:51Well, they can't be signed now.
08:52The Chief isn't here.
08:53I'm sorry.
08:54The Chief isn't here.
08:55Well, I have worse news.
08:56Harvey just closed the control delicatessen and went home.
08:59You're kidding.
09:00Why?
09:01He said with only three control agents left in Washington, he can't afford to stay open
09:04any longer.
09:05Right.
09:06Just as soon as he gets in.
09:07What are we going to do?
09:09There's only one thing we can do.
09:11Eat across the street at Angelo's.
09:12How can you think of food at a time like this?
09:1699.
09:17The only thing we can do is to appoint a temporary Chief of Control from among the three of us.
09:22And whoever it is will have to be highly intelligent, completely fearless, with an acute sense
09:28of command and organization.
09:30Max, can I call my wife?
09:31What for?
09:32Well, I want to see if it's all right with her before I take on all that extra work.
09:37I wasn't thinking of you, Larrabee.
09:39I was thinking of myself for the job.
09:42Oh.
09:43I have to call my wife anyway, Max.
09:44Oh, Max, I think that's a marvelous idea.
09:48You have more experience than any of us.
09:50Well, all right, 99.
09:52I'll accept the job.
09:54Now, what's the first thing you think I should do as the temporary Chief of Control?
09:58Reopen the control, delicatessen.
10:00I mean, after that.
10:02Well, don't you think the first thing we ought to do is to find the Chief?
10:05She's right, 86.
10:06They may kill him.
10:07I don't think they'll do that, Larrabee.
10:09The Chief has been the 22nd agent that they've kidnapped.
10:12Now, with all those men and all that knowledge, I doubt very much if chaos will kill them.
10:18Well, they must be keeping them prisoners somewhere, Max.
10:20But where?
10:21Well, there's only one way to find out.
10:22How?
10:23I'm going to have myself kidnapped.
10:25No, Max.
10:25I'm not going to let you sacrifice yourself like that.
10:28She's right, Max.
10:29Let me go.
10:30Are you saying that because I'm married, Larrabee?
10:33No, Max.
10:34I'm saying that because I'm married.
10:36Well, how do you intend to get yourself kidnapped, Max?
10:3999.
10:40When the Chief and Kendall went down to the airport, they were both paged to that telephone.
10:45When they went inside that telephone booth, they both disappeared.
10:48Larrabee, give me 20 minutes to get to the airport.
10:51Then I want you to call and have me paged to the telephone.
10:55Unless I miss my guess, in an hour I'll be missing.
10:59Be careful, Max.
11:00Don't worry, 99.
11:02I'll call you as soon as I'm captured.
11:05Max, if they capture you, they're not going to let you use the telephone.
11:07You're right, 99.
11:10You better call me.
11:15Telephone call for Maxwell Smart.
11:17Maxwell Smart.
11:20Again.
11:24Hello.
11:25Hi, Max.
11:26Did you disappear yet?
11:27No, I didn't disappear yet.
11:28I don't understand it.
11:30They probably don't realize how vital I am to control.
11:33Do you want me to call them and tell them?
11:34No, I don't want you to call them and tell them.
11:36I want you to call them and have me paged.
11:39And this time, try and make me sound as important as you can.
11:44Telephone call for President Maxwell Smart.
11:47President Maxwell Smart.
11:51President Maxwell Smart.
11:52That's an important phone call for me.
11:54Take it in your usual booth, Mr. President.
11:59This is the final call for flight 13 to Miami.
12:01Yes, amigos.
12:03Hello.
12:04Hi, Max.
12:05Are you all right?
12:06Yes, I'm all right, 99.
12:07Nothing's happened so far.
12:13Yes?
12:13Don't you think we ought to get rid of him?
12:15We can't.
12:16He's not on our list of important control agents.
12:18But he knows there's something unusual about that phone booth.
12:21I'd feel better if we got rid of him.
12:23Perhaps you're right.
12:25Well, I hate to bother you at work, but I was just about to cook dinner.
12:28I didn't know whether to cook for one or two.
12:30The way things are going right now, you might as well cook for two.
12:32It doesn't look like I'm going to be disappearing tonight.
12:35I'll talk to you later.
12:36Goodbye.
12:38Hang up, Smart.
12:39So you're in on this.
12:51Chaos Agent Nova.
12:52At your service.
12:55So that's how you did it.
12:57The old check the baggage, take out the insurance, page them with the phone, spin the booth trick.
13:02It's an old trick, Smart.
13:04But it's an effective one.
13:05There's 22 of your control agents before you can vouch.
13:07All right, Nova.
13:08Nova, there's just one question I'd like to ask, and then I'm putting you under arrest.
13:12How can you put me under arrest when I'm holding the gun?
13:15That was my question.
13:38Nova!
13:59Nova!
13:59Nova!
14:00Nova!
14:00All right, come on, get out of there.
14:12What happened to him?
14:13I thought he was you.
14:14Oh, really? I don't think he looks anything at all like me.
14:17All right, Mr. Smart, you can take me in.
14:20That's exactly what I'm going to do.
14:21But before I do that, there are some things I'd like to know.
14:24And you can start off by telling me what happened to the 22 control agents that disappeared.
14:28They're being held prisoners.
14:30They're being held prisoners.
15:00Fallen!
15:16Fallen!
15:20Fallen!
15:21Ross!
15:21Understubble!
15:23Keep it moving!
15:24Hurry, lad!
15:25You will now be addressed by the commandant of this camp, Colonel Ludwig von Siegfried.
15:39Prisoners of Camp Kichigumi, you have been beaten, tortured, starved, maimed, and raped.
16:02And now, the picnic is over!
16:06It's over!
16:07Sir.
16:08What is it?
16:10Chief of control.
16:12I have only been here a few days, but as commanding officer of these men, I must register a protest.
16:17The food, the clothing, and the sanitary conditions in this camp are disgraceful and intolerable.
16:22Tell it to the Marines, Baldi!
16:25I demand something be done.
16:27It doesn't matter.
16:29Your prisoners will not be staying here much longer, because arriving today from our glorious fatherland, South America, is a man who will transport you behind the iron curtain.
16:42Major Fritz Kessler, the beast of Buenos Aires!
16:48I thought Kessler was coming next week.
16:51I thought so too, but they just called and said he would be arriving immediately.
16:55I'll send a motorcycle escort to meet him at the gate.
16:58Oh, he'll be so impressed with the motorcycles going...
17:03Starke, this is chaos.
17:09We don't move here.
17:11Anyway, it's all of the taken care of.
17:25That's the case now.
17:41This is chaos.
17:43Let's go.
17:45Let's go.
18:15Welcome, Major Kessler.
18:19Tell me, did you have any trouble finding the camp?
18:22No, but we did have a little trouble with the police.
18:26What happened?
18:27They stopped us at a roadblock.
18:29What for?
18:31I don't know. They are stopping all Chaos Command cars today.
18:36Well, Colonel Siegfried, you have done a splendid job here with the camp.
18:42The High Command is very pleased.
18:45Dankeschön.
18:46All over the world, brave men are trembling at the mere mention of the name Kitschik...
18:54Kitschikumi, Nunibaba.
18:56They ask you to judge of that name.
18:59Tell me, Colonel Siegfried.
19:01Is it true, the stories I have heard?
19:04Oh, well, every once in a while, Starke and I do go into Persaic.
19:10We have a few drinks and...
19:13Chikki, chikki, chikki, chikki...
19:14Can I say, Craig?
19:18Yeah?
19:19This is Chaos. We don't, uh...
19:21Chikki, chikki, chikki.
19:22We don't do that here.
19:24But it's Major Care to inspect the prisoners.
19:27Bring them out.
19:29They are already out.
19:31This is all the prisoners you have?
19:34Now we have six more in the threat box.
19:38He'll be out in one hour.
19:43He, you said six.
19:45Six go in, one comes out.
19:48The heat fuses them together.
19:53I will look some of them.
19:57Tell me, Starke,
19:59who does Major Kessler remind you of?
20:03Hans Gruber?
20:04Nein, nein, an American.
20:08Mickey Gruber.
20:10Don't push it, Starke.
20:15Don't let on, Henderson. It's me, smart.
20:18Wilkinson, pass the word.
20:25I'm breaking you out of here tonight.
20:30Don't worry, old-timer. I'll get you out.
20:36Chief, it's me, Max.
20:40Max? How'd you find us?
20:41The girl at the insurance counter. She talked.
20:44Max, you'll never get away with it.
20:45Siegfried will recognize you.
20:46Not with this eyepass, scar and mustache, you won't.
20:52Kendall, you've got a lot of nerve.
20:54That was only a $500 policy you left me.
20:59Uh, Major Kessler?
21:00We'll break out tonight.
21:02It's much too hot out here.
21:03Won't you join me in my quarters for some schnapps?
21:06Thank you, Colonel Siegfried, but I'd much rather have a drink.
21:14Hey, John.
21:14Ever since you arrived, they've been trying to please.
21:17Well, I've seen you before.
21:20Have you ever been to Tobruk?
21:23Nein.
21:24Dunkirk?
21:26Nein.
21:27How about Berkeley?
21:28You know, Colonel Siegfried, you are doing a splendid job here at the camp.
21:40Who knows?
21:43The way things are going.
21:46Today, for sake.
21:48Tomorrow.
21:49The what?
21:50Tell me, Colonel Siegfried, where do you keep the file on the presence?
21:58In the top drawer.
22:00Ah, good.
22:01Good.
22:01Now I know who you remind me of.
22:24Ah, who is that?
22:26You'll probably laugh, but you remind me of Control Agent Maxwell Schmart.
22:39Did you say Maxwell Schmart?
22:44Yeah, Maxwell Schmart.
22:46That is the funniest thing I have ever heard, Siegfried.
23:04Maxwell Schmart, eh?
23:06You have a delightful sense of humor.
23:10Add drink to it.
23:11No, really, if not for the eyepatch and the moustache on your glass, I would swear.
23:18On your glass?
23:19Your arm makes you schmart.
23:20Starker, he's coming out of all of you.
23:23Go to the loophole.
23:27Never mind, Starker.
23:29Will you get away, Siegfried?
23:30I don't think so.
23:31This window overlooks the kennels.
23:33He'll be torn to shreds.
23:37Starker, release the dogs.
23:41want fall.
23:42Go, go, go, go.
23:44Oh, my God!
24:14Oh, my God!
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