- hace 6 días
Max and Harry Hoo try to solve a murder of an agent in a tropical hotel. This is a parody of Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians. One of the suspects is named "Ben Gazzman", and says he is an adventurer living life at most since he has two years to live, a spoof of the Run for Your Life series that starred Ben Gazzara.
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00:00Am I going too fast for you, 99?
00:20No, Max, I'm fine.
00:23Are we almost there?
00:25Well, we must be. It's got to be around here someplace.
00:28So, this is the fabulous island of Tawana, gateway to Hawaii.
00:32What a spot for a vacation.
00:3499, we're not here for a vacation. This is just our cover.
00:38We're here on a top-secret mission.
00:40What is our assignment, Max?
00:41I don't know. Here.
00:44Hold that. I have sealed orders.
00:46Max, you mean you haven't opened that yet?
00:48But you know control procedure calls for the opening of sealed orders before arrival at destination.
00:53Are you sure, 99? I never got that in training school.
00:55Of course you did, Max. Don't you remember?
00:57We were given a sealed envelope containing information about opening sealed orders.
01:01Didn't you get that?
01:02Yes, but I never opened the envelope.
01:11Now, listen to this, 99.
01:13We're to meet a Colonel Roger Forsythe, a retired officer of the British Black Watch.
01:18He has some information for us about a chaos block.
01:21We better get on to the hotel.
01:23Right, Max.
01:23Here, let me take this, 99.
01:25Oh, thank you, Max.
01:26Careful, 99? That's expensive luggage.
01:34Hmm. This must be the place.
01:37Oh, hi there.
01:43Oh, good morning.
01:45Listen, if you're the hotel gardener, you're in a lot of trouble.
01:48No, no, no. I'm Milton Conrad.
01:50Welcome to the Tawana, Conrad.
01:52I'm the owner.
01:53Oh, that's very clever, Mr. Conrad.
01:54You've named the hotel, the Tawana Conrad, after yourself.
01:59I'm sorry I can't see you to your rules, but I have urgent business on the mainland.
02:03Are we on the hotel grounds?
02:05Oh, yes.
02:06This is the golf course.
02:08The hotel is straight up the fairway.
02:11Oh, you'll need this.
02:16Sure is a sporty little course, isn't it?
02:33Oh, pardon me.
02:34I wonder if you could tell me where I could find Colonel Forsythe.
02:37Right this way.
02:38For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow,
02:47which nobody can deny.
02:49Come on, make a wish.
02:51Don't tell anybody what it is.
02:57I don't think he's going to get his wish.
03:08I don't think he's going to get his wish.
03:20Oh.
03:20I don't think he's going to get his wish.
03:54Killed by an exploding birthday cake.
04:07Ninety-nine, there's something funny going on around here.
04:10I've called the police as you directed, sir.
04:12An inspector will be arriving from the mainland any minute.
04:15Good. Well, come on, Ninety-nine. We might as well check in.
04:18Right next.
04:22Uh, do you have a room?
04:24Yes, someone just checked out.
04:30You have a reservation for a Mr. and Mrs. Livingston?
04:35Ah, yes, Mr. Livingston.
04:36Your room is 104 and your wife is in 211.
04:40May I ask a personal question?
04:42Yes, but just one.
04:44This may seem a bit presumptuous, but it's rather strange.
04:47What is?
04:49Well, but you're in room 104 and your wife is in 211.
04:53Perhaps you're right.
04:54I'll tell you what.
04:55Put me in 211 and put her in 104.
04:57What was that?
05:03Oh, that's one of the features of the island.
05:05An active volcano.
05:06Does that every hour.
05:07You can set your watch by it.
05:09Well, that seemed rather severe.
05:11How close is the volcano?
05:12Oh, about 15 feet.
05:1415 feet?
05:1415 feet?
05:16I'll see to your luggage now.
05:17Max, this hotel gives me the creeps.
05:24Exploding birthday cakes, volcanoes.
05:26Why would anyone want to come here?
05:27Well, for one thing, 99, you can't beat the rates.
05:30I don't care what you say, Max.
05:31Anyone would be a fool to come to the Tawana Comrade.
05:34A moment, please.
05:36Do not deny implication, only resent it.
05:39Unless I miss my guess, 99, that would be Harry Hu, the famous Hawaiian detective.
05:45This way, please.
05:46Ah, Mr. Smart.
05:49Ah, Miss 99.
05:51Hi, Hu, how are you?
05:52Not too happy, Mr. Smart.
05:54What's wrong?
05:55Well, to be too happy is to invite trouble from Hawaiian guard Kinahora.
06:01Well, I see you've brought a change of clothes, Mr. Hu.
06:04Ah, yes.
06:05Found wonderful tailor in Hong Kong, Mr. Smart.
06:08How come all your suits are exactly the same?
06:12Oh, beg to differ.
06:13All have different styles.
06:14Oh, well, I guess all Chinese suits look alike to me.
06:18Do you always wear white, Mr. Hu?
06:21Except in summer.
06:23Now, 99, do me a favor, will you?
06:24Go in and see that the guests don't leave the dining room until I've had a chance to question them.
06:28Right, Max.
06:28Ah, so, Mr. Smart, once again, bird of death has brought us together.
06:36Yes, and it's a little embarrassing for me, Mr. Hu.
06:39You see, I had an appointment with the murdered man.
06:41Ah.
06:42Tell me, Mr. Smart, how was victim killed?
06:45By an exploding birthday cake.
06:47Ah, so, that again.
06:49Again?
06:50Ah, yes, becoming quite common.
06:52In some countries, it is considered crime to carry concealed birthday cake.
06:58Tell me, what do you know about victim?
07:02Well, his name was Colonel Forsythe.
07:04He was a master spy who infiltrated the Japanese high command just before the last war.
07:09Ah, did, uh, Japanese ever suspect him?
07:12Oh, no, he was too clever for that.
07:14You see, he was able to divert suspicion from himself by personally ordering the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor.
07:22Amazing.
07:24Mr. Hu, the four suspects are waiting for you.
07:26Oh, correction, please.
07:27There are not four suspects in this case.
07:29There are seven.
07:30Seven?
07:32But there are only four guests outside of Colonel Forsythe.
07:34I am including you, Miss 99, and myself in this list.
07:39You see, I have learned never to eliminate possible suspect.
07:42In one case, I was suspect until very end.
07:46Did you do it?
07:47Of course not.
07:49Murderer was Oriental detective, all right, but was another Oriental detective.
07:55Well, that must have been a big relief to you.
07:57Max, I think I better go check the grounds.
07:59Good idea, 99.
08:00And while you're out there, why don't you have a look around?
08:02Right.
08:03I have gathered you all here to question you about the unfortunate passing of Colonel Forsythe.
08:14Will you all please identify yourselves, starting with you, sir?
08:18My name is Ben Gassman.
08:21I guess you'd call me an adventurer.
08:23I go about the world drinking, loving, and driving fast cars.
08:26Trying to crowd as many experiences as I can into my life.
08:30See, the doctor told me I only have two years to live.
08:33When did he tell you that?
08:361944.
08:36Do you have any questions, Mr. Smart?
08:43Yes, Mr. Who.
08:44I'd like to know where you were when the murder was committed.
08:46Not for me, for him.
08:49No questions.
08:52Amazing.
08:54And you, sir?
08:55I'm Otto von Werner.
08:56I'm Swiss.
08:57I'm a watchmaker.
08:58And I suppose you were a neutral during the war.
09:01I said I was Swiss.
09:02I was never a neutral.
09:04I was just taking the order.
09:05Sorry, but humble detective think you are lying.
09:09And I think you are a fool.
09:10Now, wait a minute.
09:11You can't talk that way to the world's greatest detective.
09:14Control yourself, Mr. Smart.
09:16As Confucius say,
09:18stick and stone may break my bone,
09:20but name will never hurt me.
09:23Confucius said that?
09:25As a child.
09:27Now, von Werner, what are your hobbies?
09:31Watercolors, classical music, and torture.
09:35I don't think he's a watchmaker.
09:37I have proof.
09:40I designed already this very cuckoo clock.
09:43Be kind!
09:45Be kind!
09:46It's not two o'clock.
09:49Don't argue with him.
09:51If he says it's two o'clock, you better believe him.
09:53I still say he's lying.
09:55Uh, Mr. Smart, let us not pursue it.
09:59I still have relatives living in Switzerland.
10:04Now it's two o'clock.
10:06Instead of persecuting the Swiss.
10:09Why don't you find out why,
10:10an hour before he died,
10:12he was drinking martinis with that woman?
10:15That is a lie.
10:16We were drinking Manhattans.
10:18Ah, so that is most helpful, madam.
10:21You are?
10:22I am the Contessa Dorino Montenegro.
10:25I met the colonel this morning
10:27and fell madly in love with him.
10:29But it is always the same.
10:32Uh, explain, please.
10:34There is nothing to explain.
10:36It is simply that every time
10:37I meet a handsome and dashing man,
10:39something terrible always happens to him.
10:42Hmm.
10:43I better watch myself.
10:48Amazing.
10:49Now, our final suspect of the evening.
10:54I am Omar Shurath.
10:56I am Lebanese.
10:58I am a spy.
10:59Ah, so, and on what country do you spy?
11:02I spy in every country.
11:05Except Austria.
11:06I promised my mother
11:07I would never spy in Austria.
11:10Uh, why is that?
11:11My mother is spying in Austria.
11:15Mr. Shurath,
11:17does the name Chaos mean anything to you?
11:20Chaos?
11:21The International Organization of Evil?
11:24Formed in 1904 in Bucharest?
11:26Designed to foment unrest
11:27and revolutions throughout the world?
11:28Yes.
11:29I never heard of it.
11:31I think he's lying.
11:32Max, a storm is blowing
11:34so the ferry can't reach us from the mainland.
11:36We're cut off.
11:37In that case,
11:39must insist that no one leave Island.
11:41In 99,
11:43there must be some kind of a boat
11:45we can get to take us to the mainland.
11:46No, Max.
11:47The employees took the boat with them.
11:48They've all left.
11:49And, Max,
11:50a strange thing.
11:51Someone's cut the telephone wires.
11:59Any further questions, Mr. Smoth?
12:03Yes.
12:04As a matter of fact,
12:05I do have some further questions, Mr. Who.
12:08I'd like to ask each one of you
12:10one question.
12:11Do you believe that Colonel Forsyth
12:13was what he said he was,
12:15or do you believe he was a spy?
12:17Very well,
12:18let's begin the questioning
12:19with Mr. Gassman.
12:20I think he was a retired colonel.
12:22Okay,
12:23one down and three to go.
12:24Contessa?
12:25Did the colonel perform his service?
12:27I'm not sure,
12:28but I think he was self-employed.
12:29Mr. Smoth,
12:31I think this line of questioning
12:32will not be productive.
12:34I suggest we all go to our rooms
12:36and lock the door.
12:37Good night, Von Werner.
12:38Good night, Mr. Who.
12:39Good night, Mr. Gassman.
12:41Good night, Von Werner.
12:42Good night, Sherrock.
12:42Good night, Mr. Gassman.
12:44Good night, Contessa.
12:45Good night, Mr. Sirach.
12:47Good night, Mr. Smoth.
12:48Good night, Contessa.
12:49Good night, Mr. Who.
12:50Good night, Mr. Smoth.
12:51Good night, Contessa.
12:53Good night.
12:53Let me try, Max.
13:06Don't be silly, 99.
13:08If I can't do it, what makes you think you can do it?
13:18You've got a lot to learn about male superiority.
13:21Max, there's a storm brewing.
13:26It's going to be very dangerous to try to row to the mainland.
13:29I suppose so, but someone's got to get to the mainland
13:31and tell them that we're stranded out here with a crazy maniacal chaos killer.
13:35I guess you're right.
13:37Goodbye, Max.
13:39Goodbye, 99.
13:40And good luck.
13:51For your information, Mr. Smart,
13:57I've arranged to meet Mr. Gassman in the dining room.
14:00You mean to tell me that...
14:00Yes, I believe we have our murderer.
14:02Ah, Mr. Gassman, the little game has ended.
14:05You have been clever, but not too clever for Harry Who.
14:08You have always been my prime suspect.
14:10Until now.
14:21What is he saying?
14:23He says your knee is on his chest.
14:26Sorry.
14:27Huh?
14:28Is he still alive?
14:29I don't know.
14:30Better take pulse.
14:32His pulse.
14:33He's dead.
14:38It is wisely written, Mr. Who,
14:40that dead men tell no tales.
14:43I'll do the proverbs, please.
14:46Just the search pockets for possible clues.
14:51Okay, let's see.
14:52Chaos identification card.
14:55A white feather.
14:59Black book with three names circled.
15:02Ah, pattern is beginning to emerge.
15:06A trained black widow spider?
15:09And a torn page...
15:10Now, wait a minute.
15:11What did you say?
15:12A torn page from...
15:13No, no, no.
15:14Before that.
15:15A trained black widow sp...
15:16A trained black widow spider?
15:19Exactly.
15:21Familiar and diabolical method.
15:24Using trained spider to do killer's work.
15:27Say, I've got a great idea, Mr. Who.
15:29Why don't we get all the guests
15:31and form them in a circle
15:32and see who the spider crawls to?
15:35Do you know what Mr. Gassman's death means?
15:39Yes, I do, Mr. Who.
15:41It means that the exploding birthday cake
15:43can no longer be considered just an accident.
15:47Amazing.
15:50Look at this, Mr. Who.
15:52What is that?
15:53Just before Gassman died,
15:56he scrawled the initials of his killer
15:58on this slip of paper.
15:59Permit me.
16:01H.
16:01H.
16:03That's of no importance.
16:05Wait a minute.
16:06Herbert Hoover?
16:10Hubert Humphrey.
16:11Hector Hernandez.
16:14Yes?
16:15I have decided upon method of trapping murderer.
16:18Tonight at dinner,
16:19you will make announcement
16:20that tomorrow morning
16:21you intend to expose killer.
16:24Oh.
16:25What good will that do?
16:26Well, a murderer fearing capture
16:28will try to kill you.
16:30Oh, good.
16:32Uh, he will?
16:33Well, that means that I could die
16:36trying to solve this case.
16:37Mr. Smart,
16:38it is truly written
16:39you can't win them all.
16:41Well, Mr. Who,
16:44I did as you suggested.
16:45I made the announcement
16:46at the dinner table tonight.
16:47Now, all we have to do
16:48is wait for murderer to strike.
16:50I'm certain he will appear.
16:52Well, I hope you're right.
16:52And try to kill you.
16:54I hope you're wrong.
16:55So it is you, Gerard.
17:12You're the murderer.
17:13Well, what are you talking about?
17:14First you killed Colonel Forsythe,
17:16then you killed Mr. Gassman,
17:17and tonight you tried to kill me
17:18before I could learn your identity.
17:20I haven't killed anyone.
17:21Oh, no?
17:22Then perhaps you can explain
17:23what you're doing here.
17:24I was going to bed.
17:26This is my room.
17:34Mr. Who and I both agree
17:36that it is no longer safe
17:37for any of us to be left alone.
17:39That way, it would be too easy
17:41for the killer to pick us off
17:42one by one.
17:43Yes, humbly feel
17:44that if we all stay together,
17:46killer will be unable to strike.
17:48Do you agree, Contessa?
17:49Yes, yes, of course.
17:51And you, Herr von Werner?
17:52It's von Werner,
17:53and I'm Swiss.
17:54And you, Mr. Schurrock,
17:56do you not feel
17:56that we will all be safer
17:58if we stay together?
18:04Mr. Schurrock has provided
18:06strong argument
18:07against my proposal.
18:09Another murder.
18:11How was it done this time,
18:12Mr. Who?
18:13Perhaps poison needle,
18:14perhaps strangulation.
18:18Providence has been kind.
18:20Mr. Schurrock was only napping.
18:22Yes, well, it is a little stuffy
18:24in here.
18:24I suggest that we all
18:25go out on the patio
18:26and get a breath of...
18:27Moment, please.
18:34Is he sleeping, too?
18:36Sleep that is endless.
18:37Of course.
18:43A pinch of castoroid potassium,
18:45a deadly poison.
18:46I do not understand
18:47why von Werner did not notice
18:49castoroid potassium in tea.
18:52How could he?
18:53It tastes like any one
18:54of a thousand other poisons.
18:57Amazing.
18:58Contessa,
19:02I am going to keep
19:03my eye on you
19:04and Harry Who
19:05is going to watch
19:06Mr. Schurrock.
19:07I feel so safe
19:08with you protecting me,
19:09Mr. Smart.
19:11Well, I don't like to boast,
19:12but of all the hundreds
19:14of people that I have guarded,
19:16I have only lost three.
19:24Would you believe four?
19:25Ah, so, so sorry.
19:32Not a point for me,
19:33Mr. Schurrock.
19:37Oh, good shot.
19:40That's it, Mr. Schurrock.
19:42Game is over.
19:47He lost 21-17.
19:52Another man murdered.
19:53How horrible.
19:55He wasn't playing well anyway.
19:58Of course not.
19:59He had an axe in his back.
20:02Five people murdered,
20:04one by one,
20:05and only you and I
20:06left alone on this island,
20:07Mr. Who.
20:08Let us not read
20:09to conclusion,
20:10Mr. Smart.
20:10Suggest we put gun on table
20:12and discuss case sensibly.
20:14I am reminded of similar case in 1952.
20:22Twenty people on ocean liner.
20:24One by one,
20:25they died.
20:27Did you find the killer?
20:29Yes.
20:29It was typhoid epidemic.
20:33Do you believe that there is a typhoid epidemic
20:36on this island, Mr. Who?
20:37No such luck, Mr. Smart.
20:40Find that all victims had one thing in common.
20:44A bad travel agent.
20:45No.
20:46They were all members of chaos.
20:49I found that they had
20:53one of these
20:55in each one of their suitcases.
21:01A chaos identification ring.
21:04If all victims were chaos agents,
21:07conclude that killer must be man
21:09with pathological hatred of chaos.
21:11You are such a man, Mr. Smart.
21:13And since you are only man
21:14on island besides myself,
21:16you must be murderer.
21:17Moment please, Mr. Who.
21:19You are forgetting one thing.
21:21You are forgetting
21:21that when Gassman died,
21:23he wrote the initials
21:24of his killer.
21:25H.H.
21:25And I've come to the conclusion
21:27that H.H. stands for Harry Who.
21:29And since you and I
21:29are the only ones left
21:30on this island,
21:31then you must be the murderer.
21:41So it did work.
21:45Down to the last man.
21:50Not quite, Mr. Conrad.
21:53Well, Mr. Who,
21:54your hunch was right.
21:55Conrad never did leave the island.
21:57You see, he knew that
21:57all of his guests
21:58were chaos defectors.
22:00So he had to kill
22:01Colonel Forsythe
22:02before he could make arrangements
22:03for their passage
22:03back to the States.
22:04Yes, Mr. Conrad
22:06was taken in
22:06by our little charade.
22:08He counted on us
22:09killing one another.
22:11A cleverly planted suspicion
22:12by leaving note
22:14marked H.H.
22:15by Mr. Gassman's body.
22:17Well, to tell you
22:18the truth, Mr. Who,
22:19I thought that H.H.
22:20stood for Harry Who.
22:22Oh, please do not apologize,
22:23Mr. Smart.
22:24You also suspected
22:25Herbert Hoover.
22:27I don't understand.
22:29I saw you shoot each other.
22:31How is it you're not both dead?
22:33Because we took
22:34the simple precaution
22:35of loading our guns
22:36with blanks.
22:40Who?
22:40Oh, in that case, gentlemen,
22:44put your hands up.
22:53I'm missing.
23:02Ninety-nine.
23:03Boy, am I glad to see you.
23:04Oh, Max, it's so lucky
23:05that I couldn't reach
23:06the mainland.
23:07I'll say it was.
23:08So it was Conrad
23:08who killed Colonel Forsythe.
23:10Yes, and a few other
23:11good people, too.
23:12It's a good thing
23:12you shot them.
23:13I guess I saved
23:14your life, Max.
23:15Well, not only that,
23:15Ninety-nine,
23:16but now we can check
23:17out of the hotel
23:18without paying our bill.
23:19Ah, so, storm is over
23:34and another case is solved.
23:37Do you see anything yet,
23:38Mr. Who?
23:38No, I can see nothing.
23:41Ninety-nine,
23:41be careful with that luggage.
23:43I'm trying, Max.
23:44Why don't you help her,
23:45Mr. Smart?
23:46Oh, good idea.
23:48Here, let me take
23:49this bag, Ninety-nine.
23:50Thanks, Max.
23:50You chop for a while.
23:52Boy, this vegetation
23:54really grows fast.
23:57Any sign of boat yet,
23:59Mr. Smart?
24:00No, but maybe we can see
24:01better when we get outside.
24:08I think we're on
24:09the right path, Mr. Who.
24:11Here's the front desk.
24:14Here's the front desk.
24:44Here's the front desk.
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