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00:09Hi, Eddie.
00:12Erkel, why don't you ever knock?
00:14Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in.
00:19Where's Laura?
00:21She's upstairs.
00:22I'm gonna ask her out for Saturday night.
00:25Steve, don't waste your time.
00:27She's never gonna go out with you.
00:30Hi, Laura.
00:34I saw you.
00:39I was wondering if I could share the pleasure of your company Saturday night.
00:44I'm busy Saturday night.
00:46Oh, how about Sunday night?
00:48Erkel, let me put this to you as nicely as I can.
00:53I'm not going out with you.
00:54I'm never going out with you.
00:57Wow.
00:58You make my skin crawl.
01:01I understand.
01:02I caught you at a bad time.
01:08She wants me bad.
01:12All right.
01:13See ya.
01:26Did I do that?
01:42It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page.
01:50Love and tradition of the grand design.
01:53Some people say it's even harder to find.
01:56Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.
02:04Cause all I see is a tower of dreams.
02:08Real love bursting out of every scene.
02:12As days go by, we're going to fill our house with happiness.
02:21The moon may dry, but we'll smother the blues with deadliness.
02:27As days go by, there's room for you, room for me.
02:34A gentle heart's an opportunity.
02:38As days go by, it's the bigger love of the family.
03:00Hello.
03:01Hi, Rachel.
03:01Hi.
03:02We have a surprise for you.
03:03You are going to love it.
03:04Yeah.
03:05It's something you can't live without.
03:07I hope it's a maid.
03:11I hope it's a man.
03:13Close your eyes.
03:16Okay.
03:26Okay.
03:27Open.
03:29It's a dog.
03:33Good, Harriet.
03:34You got that right on the first try.
03:37Isn't it cute, Mom?
03:39He's adorable.
03:41What a sweet little dog.
03:43Now get him out of here.
03:45He's got nowhere to go.
03:47He's been hanging around school for almost a week.
03:50No tag, no license.
03:52Yeah.
03:53We tried to find his owner.
03:54We called pet finders, put up flyers, but nobody claimed him.
03:58Can we keep him?
04:00Please?
04:03Judy, quit whining.
04:05You know your father's rule.
04:06No animals in the house unless they're in a bowl, a cage, or a roasting pan.
04:14Can't this be a special case?
04:17Yeah, Harriet, come on.
04:18Rachel, you're not helping.
04:21Oh, think of the fun little Richie could have with that cute little puppy.
04:24See the doggy?
04:25Nice doggy.
04:29I'm sorry, but Carl won't allow a dog in the house.
04:32We'll just have to take him to an animal shelter.
04:34Rachel, take him to an animal shelter.
04:37Why do I get all the fun jobs?
04:40Come on, boy.
04:46Oh, Harriet, I can't take him to the pound.
04:48Look at his little face.
04:50Yes, you are cute.
04:54Harriet, can't we keep him?
04:56Please?
04:59All right, I'll talk to your father when he gets home.
05:02Wait, wait, wait, but it won't be easy.
05:03You know Carl has a thing about pets.
05:06Harriet, I'm home.
05:07Wait, get him.
05:09Get him in my room.
05:11Hey, wait a minute.
05:13Rachel, where are you going?
05:15Stay.
05:16Sit.
05:21I'm not breaking this to Carl alone.
05:25I just had the worst day of my entire life.
05:29I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas.
05:35Do you know how embarrassing that is?
05:38And to top it off, I come home and almost hit Edward's bicycle.
05:42He left it in the driveway again.
05:44Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
05:46I'm going to have a talk with that boy.
05:48Is he home?
05:49Where is he?
05:49In his room?
05:50No.
05:52I mean, yes.
05:53But you're too tired.
05:55I'll get him for you.
05:56Edward, come down here now.
05:58I'll be right there.
06:01No.
06:02No, don't drink out of the toilet.
06:08What is going on up there?
06:10It's Judy.
06:11You know, she hasn't been herself lately.
06:14I think I braided her hair too tight.
06:18Well, I'm going to go watch...
06:24Well, I'm going to go watch the news and see if anybody had a worse day than I did.
06:27I'll talk with Edward later.
06:36When are you going to tell him about the dog?
06:38I'm going to wait until he's in a good mood.
06:40When is that going to be?
06:42Well, let's see.
06:42He has eight years to retirement.
06:46I'll tell him at the party.
06:57Who is it?
06:58Rachel!
07:02Wait till you see what I bought Mickey.
07:04Got him a leash, food dish, water bowl, and doggy delight.
07:11He's going to love feeding.
07:18Well, that's strange.
07:20Says dogs eat them like candy.
07:26Oh, who is it?
07:27Dad.
07:29Dad who?
07:32Edward, let me in.
07:35Just a second, Dad.
07:36I'll be right with you.
07:40I'll be right with you.
07:52What are you doing in here?
07:54Just hanging out, you know, listening to music.
07:57I don't hear any music.
07:59We make our own.
08:00It's my prerogative.
08:03I can do what I want to do.
08:05It's my prerogative.
08:07I can live my life.
08:10It's my prerogative.
08:19Do you all do this a lot?
08:22Yeah.
08:23We're thinking of going on Star Search.
08:26Son, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that I blew up a dinner about the bike.
08:31I had a real bad day.
08:33It's okay, Dad.
08:34Well, I guess I'll turn in early.
08:36Okay.
08:37Well, good night.
08:37Night.
08:38Good night.
08:41Hey, what are these?
08:42Oh, look at me.
08:46Hey, these are good.
08:50What are they?
08:52It's just a little snack I picked up at the health food store.
08:56Well, try them.
08:58They're delicious.
08:59Come here.
09:00Come on.
09:05Something wrong?
09:07Oh, no.
09:08Nothing's wrong.
09:09See?
09:13Mm, aren't they great?
09:14Mm.
09:18Well, good night.
09:21Edward, clean up this room.
09:23It smells like an animal lives in here.
09:32You know, Dad was right.
09:35These are good.
09:37These are good.
09:44So, did you tell Dad about Mickey?
09:47I told him a hundred times.
09:49What did he say?
09:50Nothing.
09:51He was asleep.
09:53Harriet!
09:54He's awake.
09:55Quick.
09:55Hide the dog.
09:56Hide the dog.
10:03Hide the dog.
10:12What happened to my favorite slipper?
10:17Carl, it just wore out.
10:22Wore out?
10:23This looks like a wild animal got a hold of it.
10:27I bet it was little Richie.
10:29You know how he likes to chew on things.
10:32This was not done by somebody with one tooth.
10:41What was that?
10:42What was what?
10:44That noise.
10:45Sounded like it came from the laundry room.
10:46I didn't hear anything.
10:47You kids hear anything?
10:48Well, not me.
10:52I didn't hear that either.
10:55Tom, don't open this door.
10:56And why not?
10:57No special reason.
10:59Just a whim.
11:00Harriet, step aside.
11:18Oh, look.
11:19A dog.
11:35Harriet, what is a dog doing in the laundry room?
11:39His laundry?
11:43Harriet.
11:44Carl, he followed the kids home from school.
11:47Harriet, now you know my rule about pets.
11:49I know, honey, but we were thinking that maybe you'd make an exception this time.
11:53Well, honey, a rule is a rule.
11:55Carl, the poor dog needs a home.
11:57Rub a heart.
12:00Dad, he's a really nice dog.
12:02Yeah, he's got your eyes.
12:07Case closed.
12:12Oh, Carl, you brought home a dog.
12:16How wonderful.
12:19Rachel, he knows and he doesn't want to keep him.
12:23Oh.
12:24Don't you like dogs, Carl?
12:26Well, I love dogs.
12:28Then why don't you want to keep him?
12:29Oh, look.
12:31When I was six, my father brought home this cute little cock-a-spaniel puppy.
12:38We went everywhere together.
12:40He'd follow me to school every day and wait for me outside.
12:44I have a question.
12:46What?
12:46Why would your father follow you to school every day?
12:53The dog followed me, Edward.
12:56The dog.
12:58Okay?
12:59Got it.
13:03For ten years, that little rascal and I were inseparable.
13:07I loved that dog more than anything.
13:10Then one day he got sick and died.
13:12I was crushed.
13:14For weeks, I'd walk to school looking behind me thinking he'd be there.
13:17Of course, he wasn't.
13:20Oh, that's the saddest story I've ever heard.
13:27Well, after that, I swore I'd never get close to another pet again.
13:36Sorry.
13:38Carl, that was 20 years ago.
13:40Get some therapy.
13:42Harriet, I'm just trying to spare the kids the same pain that I went through.
13:46Oh, come on, Carl.
13:47You had ten wonderful years with that dog.
13:50Well, yeah, but I...
13:51And think about all the good it did for you.
13:53I mean, it taught you about responsibility and how to love.
13:59Yeah, Dad.
14:01What do you say?
14:05Please.
14:08Oh, all right.
14:10Yes, Dad!
14:13You can keep him.
14:14But this dog is your responsibility.
14:17The three of you have got to walk him, brush him, feed him,
14:20and most important of all, keep him away from me.
14:23Don't worry, Dad.
14:24Because whenever we say,
14:26sit, Mickey.
14:28Sit, Mickey!
14:30Sit, Mickey!
14:31Sit, Mickey!
14:39Bye, Dad.
14:39We're going to the mall.
14:40Wait a minute, wait a minute.
14:41Did you take care of the dog?
14:42I fed him, and he brushed him,
14:44and he dragged Judy around the block three times.
14:47Well, good.
14:48Just put him in the kitchen out of my way.
15:01Hi, Carl.
15:05Don't you think you ought to start calling me Mr. Winslow?
15:08Yeah, that's what my parents Herb and Diane tell me.
15:14Where's Laura?
15:15She's gone for the day.
15:18Oh.
15:19I'll wait.
15:26Want anything from the fridge?
15:29Don't Herb and Diane ever feed you?
15:32They usually send me out.
15:36Stop!
15:38Stop!
15:39Stop!
15:40Stop!
15:41Stop!
15:42Stop!
15:42Stop!
15:45So, you got a dog.
15:51Got to run, Carl.
15:53Tell her or I'll call her.
15:55Cute dog.
15:56I think he likes me.
16:03Good dog.
16:04Good dog.
16:14Sit.
16:15I had it with that dog.
16:16What happened?
16:18Look what he did to my algebra homework.
16:21Tell your teacher your dog ate it.
16:23I can't.
16:24And you used that excuse before we got the dog.
16:28Well, listen.
16:30You all come on and sit down and eat your breakfast.
16:32And, Eddie,
16:34don't forget to feed Mickey before you go to school.
16:36Mom,
16:37all that dog does is eat.
16:42I don't believe it.
16:43My science project is ruined.
16:47What happened?
16:49I spent two weeks making a papier-mâché model of our solar system.
16:53And last night, Mickey took a bite out of Pluto.
16:57I don't believe it.
16:58Take the dog out the street, give him a home,
17:00and this is the things I get.
17:05Hey, everybody.
17:05You got to see this.
17:07This dog is a genius.
17:08Come here, Mickey.
17:09Sit, Mickey.
17:10Sit.
17:11Sit, Mickey.
17:12Speak.
17:12Speak.
17:14Speak.
17:16Harriet, I sure wish our kids were this well-behaved.
17:25Well, I think I'll go to work now.
17:27See you later.
17:28All right, sweetie.
17:28Have a nice day.
17:29Okay.
17:30Bye, Mick.
17:34Hey, we took our bacon.
17:36Mickey!
17:37Mickey!
17:38Harriet!
17:39Harriet!
17:39Harriet!
17:40What?
17:42Have you seen my workout suit?
17:44It's in the laundry room.
17:45Oh, thank you.
17:55What happened?
17:58Looks like Mickey's drunk again.
18:01Well, he's a dog.
18:02What do you expect?
18:03Mom, isn't that your new silk blouse?
18:09That's it.
18:09That dog is out of here.
18:11Get out!
18:12Get out!
18:17Hi, everybody.
18:18Where's Mickey?
18:20Hey, boy.
18:20Hey, Mickey.
18:21Look what I got on.
18:23A frisbee.
18:25Help him develop great eye-snout coordination.
18:29Carl, Carl.
18:30Sit down.
18:31We need to talk.
18:33Why?
18:36What's wrong?
18:37I have something to tell you about Mickey.
18:39Oh, no.
18:40Is he sick?
18:41Is he lost?
18:42Carl, he's fine.
18:43He's in the garage.
18:44Well, in the garage?
18:45Why?
18:46Carl, he's destructive.
18:48He's eating clothes and furniture and sporting equipment.
18:51And I don't like the way he looks at Little Richie.
18:55Well, that doesn't sound like my dog.
18:57My dog is a sweet, gentle, playful little puppy.
19:03Carl, around you he's Benchy.
19:06Around us he's Cujo.
19:10Well, he'll grow out of it.
19:11He's still adjusting to his new surroundings.
19:14Carl, he's a big dog.
19:16Too big to be pent up in the house all day.
19:18He needs room to run and play.
19:20Well, I take him to the park.
19:22Carl, he's an active outdoor dog.
19:25He needs to live in the country, not in the city.
19:27Well, we'll...
19:28We'll...
19:29We'll sell the house and buy a farm.
19:31Carl, come on.
19:36Well, does everybody feel this way?
19:38Yes.
19:39Yep.
19:40Definitely.
19:42Well, all right.
19:44I'll find him a nice home.
19:46But please, let me be the one to break it to him.
19:51I didn't want to mention this,
19:52but he's not too crazy about the rest of you.
20:18Well, big guy,
20:21guess you and I gotta say goodbye.
20:27I know, I know.
20:30Hey, but this is hard for me, too.
20:38But I made a few phone calls,
20:40and I found you a real nice home.
20:42It's in the country.
20:45Have somebody to take you hunting,
20:48fishing.
20:51A lot of space for you to dig holes
20:53and chase rabbits.
20:56A whole forest for you to chew on.
21:00That sounds okay, right?
21:13I'm really gonna miss you, too, pal.
21:16It's been nice knowing you.
21:29Well, I just dropped Mickey off at his new home.
21:32How did it go?
21:34Well, there was a lot of whimpering,
21:35a lot of sniffling.
21:36Yeah, but how did Mickey take it?
21:40Okay, I guess.
21:42But he's sure gonna miss me.
21:44I'm sure gonna miss him.
21:46Aw, Kevin.
21:50Dad, you were right.
21:52Having a pet is a big responsibility.
21:55Yeah.
21:56Well, at least you found Mickey a good home.
21:58And you still have us.
22:04Hi, everybody.
22:07I could have sworn I'd lock that door.
22:09You did.
22:10I took the liberty of making my own key.
22:15What do you want, Steve?
22:17You mean besides Laura?
22:27I noticed from my window
22:29that you got rid of your dog.
22:31Wise choice.
22:33But knowing how important it is
22:35for every man to have a pet,
22:37I brought you this.
22:43Oh, an ant farm.
22:47I don't see any ants.
22:49Oh, you have to send off for them.
22:51But don't worry.
22:53I knew this was an emergency.
22:55So I brought you some
22:56from my own personal supply.
23:00There are 5,000 in there,
23:03including a pregnant queen.
23:05See, you can see.
23:06There she is.
23:07Oh, no.
23:07Oh, no.
23:13Your majesty.
23:14See, your majesty.
23:16See.
23:17See.
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