- hace 5 meses
Max has to impersonate a safe cracker named Jimmy Ballantine, a recently released convict. CONTROL makes KAOS believe Ballantine's face was burned, allowing Max to have his face wrapped in bandages so KAOS won't recognize him. CONTROL believes the barber shop rendez-vous point is a KAOS front. 99 poses as a manicurist and Agent 13 is in the towel steamer. The KAOS agents want Max to open the vault of a federal reserve bank. 99 doesn't know which one, so the Chief has all the banks vaults left unlocked. Max opens the vault, KAOS guys are removing the money and plan to kill Max, when he gets the drop on them and their plan backfires. 99 and the Chief arrive and Max accidentally locks the Chief in the vault. A spoof of Alias Jimmy Valentine.
Categoría
📺
TVTranscripción
00:00it's 11 o'clock 99 i better check in with control right hello this is 86 calling control this is
00:1786 calling control come in control max that's the cigarette lighter the radio's beside it
00:22oh thank you 99 the last time i tried to call control i burnt my tongue
00:28hello this is 86 calling control this is 86 calling control come in control yes max oh hi chief
00:36we've been watching dobring's barbershop all morning anything unusual well two congressmen
00:42a supreme court justice and senator edwards went in did you find out anything we don't know
00:47yes chief senator edwards wears a toupee keep watching max we have reason to believe that
00:53that barbershop is a chaos front listen chief i'm a little tired you know i was up all night
00:58max this is important the man we suspect of being mr k the top financial genius of chaos
01:04has been seen going into that barbershop well okay chief i'll stay on the job
01:09listen max if you're tired why don't you take a nap i'll wake you if anything happens
01:14no thank you 99 i couldn't sleep when i sense danger every fiber of my being is on full alert
01:23i understand but let me know if you change your mind
01:25chief this is 99 an armored car has just pulled up in front of the barbershop
01:48yes just a minute i'll let you speak to him max wake up max wake up i'm not asleep where am i
01:58the chief wants to talk to you
02:00morning chief max what do you make of that truck in front of the barbershop
02:08well it doesn't seem to be anything unusual chief they're just making a routine delivery of a bunch
02:13of towels in an armored truck well doesn't it strike you as unusual that they deliver laundry in an armored
02:18truck maybe they're expensive towels it's obvious they're picking up money not laundry
02:24when the truck leaves follow it right chief i'll stay with them max have they noticed you watching
02:29them no chief they're not at all suspicious
02:32max max max what happened well chief the truck got away but don't worry i'm proceeding to the corner
02:50of sixth and maine is that a control checkpoint no it's a used car lot
02:54in front of fifth and in front of fifth and maine is that a control checkpoint no it's not a control project
02:55mister
02:57¶¶
03:27¶¶
03:37¶¶
03:41¶¶
03:47¶¶
03:51¶¶
03:55¶¶
04:23¶¶
04:24¶¶
04:25Well, he's obviously a convict, but more important is his former occupation.
04:29Well, judging from the little beady, shifty eyes, I'd say politician.
04:35No, Max.
04:37Disc jockey?
04:38No.
04:40Jay Walker.
04:41Safecracker.
04:42Hey, that was fun, Chief. Can we play another round?
04:46Max, that is Jimmy Valentine, the best safecracker the underworld has ever produced.
04:51He's so adept at opening locks that when he first went to prison, they had to weld him into a cell.
04:55Go on, Chief. Thank you.
04:58Now, Valentine is being released in a couple of days.
05:03We know that he's been contacted by chaos, but we don't know what they want him for.
05:08Considering his particular skill, it's safe to assume they want him to break into something.
05:11How do we know this, Chief?
05:12Valentine told us he wants to go straight.
05:14Then you want an agent to take Valentine's place.
05:17Exactly.
05:17We planted a story to the effect that Valentine was burned in a laundry accident in prison.
05:22That will give us an excuse to disguise our man's face in bandages.
05:26Chief, I'd like to volunteer.
05:29It sounds like a suicide assignment, Chief.
05:32I'd like to volunteer to find a volunteer.
05:36Let's see.
05:39Valentine is 5'9".
05:41Max is 5'9".
05:42Valentine weighs 150 pounds.
05:44Max weighs 150 pounds.
05:46Valentine has a brilliant, agile, alert mind.
05:49Oh.
05:53Chief, I want this assignment.
05:56I'll tell you right now, Max.
05:58One slip and they'll kill you.
06:00I laugh at danger.
06:02They might torture you.
06:03Well, that's the way it goes, Chief.
06:05You laugh a little, you cry a little.
06:07You are almost a perfect physical match for Valentine.
06:10Okay, Max, the job is yours.
06:11But Max doesn't know anything about opening a safe, Chief.
06:14Oh, Valentine has agreed to give our man a crash course in safe cracking.
06:17Uh, he claims he can do it in a few hours.
06:20Well, that's it, Chief.
06:22I'm off.
06:23All right, Max.
06:25Oh, one more thing, Chief.
06:27What?
06:27Where am I off to?
06:29Federal prison.
06:30I'll meet you in the warden's office tomorrow.
06:32Warden, do you mind if I lock the door?
06:33This is top security.
06:35Oh, I understand.
06:36I must say, I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
06:39Well, I'm glad to help out any way I can.
06:41I, uh, I'm very impressed with what I've seen of the prison.
06:44Well, thank you.
06:45We, uh, try to keep the men here from being aware that they're confined, removed from the world, in a prison.
06:52How long have you been warden here?
06:54Oh.
06:59Six years, three months, eleven days.
07:03You must be doing an excellent job.
07:05The men seem very well behaved.
07:06Yes, sir, we, uh, we try to give them a little warmth and understanding, along with the constant beating.
07:13That must be Valentine.
07:15Just a moment, it's locked.
07:18Valentine, how many times do I have to tell you, wait until I unlock the door?
07:23Max, this is Jimmy Valentine, the man you're going to impersonate.
07:26Oh, glad to meet you, Valentine.
07:27I'm Maxwell Smart.
07:29Sorry, I don't shake hands.
07:31In my line of work, I don't take any chances with my fingers.
07:34I understand.
07:35Why don't you two go in the other room?
07:37There are several combination states you can work on.
07:39Come along, Valentine.
07:41Now, Max, you pay strict attention to what he says.
07:43Your life may depend on it.
07:44Right, Chief.
07:45Yeah, use the bandages so you can get used to them.
07:47Oh, I'm used to them, Chief.
07:48You haven't had much time to practice.
07:50Don't worry, Chief.
07:51I feel like I've been wearing them for weeks.
07:54Ooh.
07:58Sorry about that.
07:59I hope it works out.
08:04He's a very intelligent man.
08:07Yes, 86 is one of our best agents.
08:09I didn't mean him.
08:10I meant Valentine.
08:11The secret to this whole business is in listening with your fingers.
08:17Listening with your fingers.
08:18That's right.
08:19I'll explain the whole thing to you in a minute.
08:21First, let's limber up our hands, like so.
08:25Now, this kind of work needs long, sensitive fingers.
08:28They kind of run in my family.
08:30I got two brothers who are concert piano players.
08:33That's interesting.
08:33And you became a safe cracker.
08:35Yeah, somebody had to support them.
08:37Okay, smart.
08:38Watch me work.
08:42See what I mean, smart?
08:44I'm listening with my fingers.
08:48That's fantastic.
08:50This is like a piggy bank for me.
08:52Hmm.
08:52Listen, what are you going to do when you get out?
08:54Going to be a TV repairman.
08:56I thought you were going straight.
08:58Okay, smart.
08:59You try it now.
09:01Now, when your fingers hear the tumblers click,
09:04go in the other direction.
09:13I think I better try my left hand.
09:14My right hand is hard of hearing.
09:17Or you ought to try some sandpaper.
09:19Sandpaper?
09:20Don't be ridiculous, Ballantyne.
09:22It would take years to open this safe with sandpaper.
09:24On your fingertips.
09:26Makes you hear better.
09:27Like so.
09:28Do you feel sensitive now?
09:34Well, three of them are sensitive.
09:35Two of them are bleeding.
09:37Gordon, what time is Ballantyne scheduled to be released?
09:40Two o'clock.
09:41It's almost that now.
09:42I better get smart in here.
09:44How's it going, Ballantyne?
09:45To tell you the truth, not too good.
09:48I was afraid of that.
09:49If all safe crackers were like him,
09:52banks could keep their money in cardboard boxes.
09:55Ballantyne.
09:56Max, come in here, please.
09:59I'm having a little trouble with this one, Ballantyne.
10:02Okay, I'll open it for you.
10:04Max, it's almost time for you to be released.
10:06They'll probably be waiting for you outside.
10:09I'm ready, Chief.
10:11You've been a lot of help, Ballantyne.
10:12Thanks a lot.
10:13You're welcome.
10:14After this case is over,
10:15I'll drop into your repair shop and bring my TV set.
10:18If you live that long.
10:20Let's go, Ballantyne.
10:23Max, there isn't much time, so pay attention.
10:25Listen carefully.
10:27They'll probably take you right to the barbershop.
10:29Oh, that's a bad break, Chief.
10:31Why?
10:31I just had a haircut.
10:33Thanks.
10:34Concentrate.
10:35As soon as you find out what Chaos wants,
10:37call us on your shoe phone,
10:39and we'll give you the combination of the safe.
10:41Gotcha, Chief.
10:43Now, 99 has gotten a job as a manicurist in the barbershop.
10:46Oh, nobody told me 99 was leaving control.
10:49She's been planted there to assist you.
10:52Chief, could I ask a silly question?
10:55Hmm.
10:56Why bother giving us the combination?
10:58Why not just catch us in the act?
11:00Because we're letting them get away with the money.
11:04Do I get to keep my share?
11:08Now, as soon as they take that money,
11:10we'll follow them,
11:11and that should lead us to Mr. K,
11:12the head man of Chaos's financial section.
11:14Now, Max,
11:15from the moment you leave this prison,
11:17you're Jimmy Ballantyne safecracker.
11:19Your life depends on it.
11:20Good luck, Max.
11:21Sorry, Chief,
11:22I don't shake hands.
11:23In my business,
11:24you don't take chances with your fingers.
11:27Well,
11:28Chaos will never know that I'm not Jimmy Ballantyne.
11:31So,
11:31don't worry about a thing, Chief.
11:32Well, maybe you could worry
11:53that much.
11:54Would you believe that much?
12:11The B-89 can do 3,000 miles per hour
12:26at an altitude of 90,000 feet,
12:28but on the other hand,
12:29the ICBM-117 is 50% faster
12:32and 60% cheaper.
12:34By the way,
12:37Dobring,
12:37what does ICBM stand for again?
12:40Intercontinental Ballistic Missile.
12:43Of course,
12:43I keep forgetting.
12:45There you are, General.
12:46You know what I like about you,
12:48Dobring?
12:49You don't shatter away
12:51like most barbers.
12:53You're a good listener.
12:56Thank you, General.
12:57See you next week.
13:00Send this reel of tape to Chaos.
13:03Mr. Ballantyne.
13:11Can I help you, sir?
13:13Yes.
13:14I'd like a manicure.
13:15Of course.
13:16The name, please.
13:17Ballantyne.
13:19Jimmy Ballantyne.
13:21Won't you have a seat, Mr. Ballantyne?
13:24Oh, Miss Evans?
13:26Yes, Mr. Dobry.
13:27Mr. Ballantyne would like a manicure.
13:30And be careful.
13:32Before he left,
13:33your last customer needed a transfusion.
13:35Sorry about that.
13:37Miss Evans will take good care of you, sir.
13:40I certainly hope so.
13:41I have very sensitive fingers.
13:44My, you haven't had a manicure for a long time.
13:46I know.
13:47I've been away for three to five years.
13:50How's it going, 99?
13:51Max, I think this barbershop
13:53is a chaos clearinghouse for everything.
13:55Money, information, and agents.
13:57Ouch.
13:57I'm sorry, sir.
13:59Is Agent 13 here?
14:01Yes.
14:02He's in the back room
14:02to the right of the water fountain.
14:04Ow.
14:05Oh, I am sorry, sir.
14:07I knew I'd be facing danger,
14:08but I didn't think it would be from you.
14:11Everything all right, sir?
14:13Yes, fine.
14:15Oh, uh,
14:16do you have a water fountain?
14:18Yes, sir.
14:18Right back there.
14:20Would you excuse me for a moment, Miss Evans?
14:22Certainly.
14:2913.
14:3113.
14:33Where are you, 13?
14:36Is that you, 86?
14:38What have you learned?
14:39I've learned to hate the spy business.
14:41That's what I've learned.
14:43All control does is lock me up in solitary.
14:45I might as well be a chaos man.
14:47You should be ashamed of yourself.
14:50I'm sorry, 86.
14:52I didn't mean that.
14:53It's just when I signed up to be a secret agent,
14:55I thought I'd be shot or stabbed.
14:57I never thought I'd be melted.
14:59Easy, 13.
15:00Just keep cool.
15:02Oh, that's easy for you to say.
15:04Since I've been in here,
15:04I've lost 10 pounds
15:06and my ammunition's about to explode.
15:09Listen, is there another entrance
15:11to this barbershop?
15:1313.
15:1513.
15:16Could I trouble you
15:17for a glass of cold water?
15:19Haven't you learned anything?
15:22What have you been doing in there all day?
15:25Chaos is planning a huge job.
15:27That's what they need Ballantyne for.
15:29Oh, that's good.
15:31After you've opened the safe,
15:32they're planning to kill you.
15:34That's bad.
15:36Well, good luck, 86.
15:38Thanks, 13.
15:39Keep your eyes open.
15:41Yeah, I try, 86,
15:42but I keep fainting.
15:44Everything all right, sir?
15:51Yes.
15:51I was just very thirsty, that's all.
15:53Why don't you sit here, Mr. Ballantyne?
15:56Oh, Miss Evans,
15:57would you get me a bottle of hair tonic
15:59from the back room, please?
16:00Yes, sir.
16:01Here, Mr. Ballantyne.
16:03Let me make you more comfortable.
16:04What happened to my customer?
16:17He had to leave.
16:18He just remembered a previous appointment.
16:20How do we know you are the real Ballantyne?
16:24Well, who else would I be?
16:26Who knows?
16:26You could be a control agent.
16:28No, Rex.
16:29I'll tell you when.
16:31If you are the real Ballantyne,
16:32then perhaps you could answer
16:33a few simple questions.
16:35Shoot.
16:36That's only a figure of speech.
16:38What was the date of the Brink's robbery?
16:40January 17, 1950.
16:43The take was $2,345,000.
16:46Who was the last man elected
16:48to the Underworld Hall of Fame?
16:50Willie Sutton.
16:51He was named on 91% of the ballots.
16:54What was the nickname of the man
16:56who drove the getaway car
16:57in the Van Allen heist?
16:59Can I ask you a question?
17:01Go ahead.
17:02Is two out of three passing?
17:04In this case, yes.
17:05There was no Van Allen heist.
17:07Welcome to chaos, Ballantyne.
17:10What's the caper?
17:11The vault in the Federal Reserve Bank.
17:13Five million in cash.
17:16Oh?
17:16When?
17:17Immediately.
17:18Can you handle it?
17:19I think so.
17:20For your sake.
17:21I hope so.
17:22Popov will give you the details.
17:25One more thing, Ballantyne.
17:27Give me your shoes.
17:28My shoes?
17:29Why?
17:30Don't you remember, Ballantyne?
17:32On your last job,
17:33you slipped and fell against
17:35a burglar alarm.
17:36Popov will provide
17:37a pair of tennis sneakers.
17:39But these are my lucky moccasins.
17:41Give me your shoes, Ballantyne.
17:47Now, go get ready.
17:50Rex!
17:51Don't forget.
17:54After Ballantyne opens the safe,
17:57shoot him.
17:59I thought that would cheer you up.
18:03Chief, I don't know what's happened to Max.
18:06Well, you're supposed to contact me
18:07on his shoe phone,
18:08but I haven't heard from him.
18:09Do you think something's gone wrong?
18:11Knowing Max, I'm sure of it.
18:12Were you able to find out
18:13anything at all?
18:14Well, I had a few seconds
18:15to talk to Agent 13,
18:17and he said something
18:18about a bank job tonight.
18:20Well, if Max doesn't call,
18:21I can't give him
18:22the combination to the vault.
18:23If he can't open it,
18:24they'll kill him.
18:25What are we going to do, Chief?
18:27We've got to gamble.
18:29Yes, sir.
18:30Contact the Federal Reserve Board.
18:33I want the vaults of every bank
18:35in the Washington area
18:36left open tonight.
18:37Did you say open?
18:38You heard me.
18:39Open.
18:43The biggest bank robbery in history.
18:46Five million dollars
18:48for the chaos treasure.
18:50Are you sure you want to go through
18:51with this thing, Dobring?
18:52What are you talking about?
18:54Well, first of all,
18:55it's dishonest.
18:58You have a sense of humor, Valentine.
19:01But I don't like it.
19:03Open the safe quickly.
19:04We don't have time to waste.
19:06Well, all I can do is try it.
19:07But if he bites me,
19:10I'll sue you.
19:12Hurry, Valentine.
19:14Don't rush me.
19:16I've got to warm up my fingers.
19:19That's enough.
19:20I'll say when it's enough.
19:23It's enough.
19:30What are you doing?
19:31Don't you know anything
19:33about safe cracking?
19:35I'm listening with my fingers.
19:40Well, Valentine?
19:44Gentlemen,
19:45I've got a confession to make.
19:47He opened it.
19:49You're kidding.
19:49You know, you probably have distemper.
19:56Why don't you see a veterinarian?
19:58I'll take care of the money pop-off.
20:00You take care of Valentine.
20:02Wait a minute.
20:02What's going on here?
20:04Turn around, Valentine.
20:06With your hands up.
20:07I sure hate a crook
20:09who can't be trusted.
20:11Max?
20:12Uh,
20:13sick him.
20:16What happened?
20:18Bulletproof bandages.
20:19Bandages.
20:34Max!
20:35Are you all right?
20:36Yes, 99.
20:37I think so.
20:38But I've got a headache
20:39you wouldn't believe.
20:42So,
20:43you are not, Valentine.
20:44No, I'm not.
20:46I'm Maxwell Smart,
20:47age in 86.
20:48How do you like that?
20:49He did a lousy job.
20:52Who?
20:53Whoever gave you
20:53your last haircut.
20:56Come on, Debring.
20:57Let's go.
21:00We picked up Dobering outside.
21:02We didn't get their
21:03mysterious Mr. K,
21:04but we've broken up
21:05their bank robbing unit
21:06thanks to you, Max.
21:07You know something, Chief?
21:08I still can't get over
21:09the fact that you were prepared
21:10to let them get away
21:11with five million dollars.
21:13Well, it wasn't much
21:14of a risk, Max.
21:16Here, look at this.
21:17This is one of the bills
21:19that they took
21:20from the vault.
21:21A thousand dollar bill,
21:23so what?
21:24It's bogus money, Max.
21:26Are you sure, Chief?
21:27I'm positive.
21:29That's funny.
21:31Feels real.
21:32Looks real.
21:34It's even got a picture
21:34of President Goldwater
21:35on it.
21:37Thanks.
21:38Goldwater lost the election
21:39by 17 million votes.
21:42Oh, yes.
21:42I remember now.
21:44Missed it by that much.
21:53Well, it's been
21:53a good night's work, Max.
21:54I think we've broken
21:55the back of Chaos'
21:56financing system.
21:57They'll have to think
21:57of some other way
21:58to pay for their evil schemes.
22:00Think of it.
22:01If we could dry up
22:02their money source completely,
22:04they'd be out of business.
22:05Wait a minute, Chief.
22:07If Chaos goes out of business,
22:09what happens to us?
22:10Well, I guess the control
22:12organization would be
22:13out of business, too.
22:14There wouldn't be
22:15any need for us.
22:16Well, that's okay for you.
22:18You're an old man.
22:19You can retire on your pension.
22:21But what about me?
22:22I don't know anything
22:22but being a secret agent.
22:24Say, Max.
22:25Well, maybe we could
22:26get together and give
22:27Chaos enough money
22:28to keep going
22:29for a few years.
22:30Max, that's a ridiculous notion.
22:32That would be like
22:32the police cooperating
22:33with organized crime.
22:34How would you like that?
22:35Well, it seems to work
22:36in the major cities.
22:38Look, Max,
22:38help me take the rest
22:40of these bags
22:40into the vault
22:41and we can all go home.
22:42Oh, I'm sorry, Chief,
22:43but I can't lift
22:44any of that heavy stuff.
22:45I have to be very careful
22:46of my sensitive fingers.
22:48There may be
22:48a whole career for me
22:49as a professional safe cracker.
22:51Tell them, 99.
22:53Tell me what?
22:55Max,
22:56you didn't open that vault.
22:58What are you talking about, 99?
23:00Of course I opened that vault.
23:01What do you think,
23:02the bank left the door open?
23:03Yes, Max,
23:04that's exactly what happened.
23:06Oh, really?
23:07Well, I'll just show you
23:08that I can open any safe.
23:20I have a hunch
23:21that's the Chief.
23:23You've got to get him
23:24out of there.
23:24Don't worry, 99.
23:26I'm used to dealing
23:27with big babies like this.
23:29I'll have him out
23:29in two shakes
23:30of a lamb's tail.
23:33Would you believe
23:38three shakes?
23:39Max,
23:40we can't leave him
23:40in there overnight.
23:41There's not enough air.
23:42He'll suffocate.
23:44Wait a minute, 99.
23:45He's using code.
23:46At least we can
23:47communicate with him.
23:57What did you say, Max?
23:58I asked him how long
23:59he could hold his breath.
24:03Chief, watch your language.
24:05There's a lady outside.
24:07There's a lady outside.
24:09There's a lady outside.
24:31Huecos running around.
24:32Two times running around.
24:33There's a lady outside,
24:34who San Andreas is saying
Sé la primera persona en añadir un comentario