- hace 6 meses
One by one, KAOS knocks off people who have agreed to be Max's best man for his upcoming wedding with 99. Because of his presumed indestructibility, Max ultimately chooses Hymie to be his best man. However, KAOS intercepts Hymie using him as a container in which they place a bomb — the objective being to send Hymie back to Max's bachelor party and blow up all the CONTROL agents in attendance.
Categoría
📺
TVTranscripción
00:00The End
00:30The End
01:00And now for a look at the sports page
01:21Last night at Davis Arena
01:23In the main event, Tiger Slurma lost a decision
01:26To Pete the Kid Melnick
01:27And the Department of Sanitation
01:29After leaving the arena
01:31He walked into an open manhole
01:32And suffered a concussion
01:33For those who say boxing is a dangerous sport
01:37They should try walking in Dark Alley
01:39His wife, when notified of the accident
01:41Rushed to the hospital
01:42And immediately
01:4386, what's up?
02:00Well, as you know, 99 and I are getting married pretty soon
02:03And I thought it might be nice if you were our best man
02:05Well, what do you say, Novak?
02:07You want to do it?
02:08I'd like to, Max
02:09Oh, come on
02:10Give me a break, Novak
02:11All right
02:11I'll be your best man
02:12Good
02:13Hey, a man has just been hit between the eyes
02:19With a baseball
02:20Pardon me, could I speak to you for a minute?
02:37I'm sorry to bother you, 38
02:39But I need your help
02:40I want you to be best man at my wedding
02:42Me, Max?
02:44Don't say no, Harry
02:44I need you
02:45Well, I don't know if I'll be finished
02:46With this cover assignment by then
02:48Besides, I thought that Simpson
02:50Or Aldrich was going to be your best man
02:52Yes, well, they couldn't make it
02:54Oh
02:55Then I'm really third choice
02:57Oh, no, no, no
02:58Not at all
02:59Actually, you're my first choice
03:00It's just hard to explain you the 99
03:02Oh, I don't know, Max
03:04Oh, come on, Harry
03:05You remember all the great times we've had together?
03:11We'll be on watch
03:12Pinch me
03:13Pinch you?
03:15Otherwise, it'll look suspicious
03:17Why did you do that?
03:22You pinched me
03:23If I didn't react, it would look suspicious
03:26Well, will you do it?
03:28Oh, what time's a wedding, Max?
03:29I got a show to do here Saturday night
03:31I'm featured
03:32It's Saturday afternoon
03:33Okay, Max
03:35I'm your man
03:36Wait a minute, Carlos
03:37Yeah?
03:38Tell me what you look like
03:39So I'll recognize you Saturday
03:41During the performance at the Follies Theater today
03:51Kitty Carvellis was kidnapped in full view of the audience by a group of men
03:55It is believed that Pretty Kitty caught the eye of Abdul Abubdul Amir Arab Potentate
03:59and is now en route to his harem
04:01Boy, is he in for a surprise
04:05I'll see you next time
05:05Five of our top agents put out a commission in the last three days.
05:24That's more than we've lost in three months.
05:26There has to be some reason behind it.
05:28The only thing we know for sure is that chaos is responsible.
05:30Why don't we use the X-22 computer, Chief?
05:32I've thought of that, 99, but somebody fed a deck of cards into it.
05:35Now all it'll do is play poker with a CIA computer.
05:38Well, can't you reprogram it?
05:39No, we can't do that. It's $32 behind.
05:41I've sent for Jaime to help us.
05:43But, Chief, Jaime's a robot.
05:44I know that, 99, but he's equipped with a calculator bank to handle advanced computations.
05:50You sent for me, Chief?
05:51Yes, Jaime, we'd like you to give us a hand.
05:55Give us a hand as a figure of speech, Jaime.
05:57We'd like you to help us.
05:58Now, these are the cards of the five agents who have been incapacitated within the space of three days.
06:04I want you to tell us if there's any connection.
06:06Now, you feed these into your calculator bank.
06:23Sorry, it does not compute.
06:24Hello, there's the Chief.
06:30Oh, no, not Novak.
06:32All right, thank you.
06:35They got Novak.
06:36Oh, no.
06:40What's happening, 99?
06:41They got Novak.
06:42Yes, I know. I was with them.
06:44That reminds me.
06:47What are you doing?
06:48I'm crossing Novak's name off my list.
06:50What list?
06:52Well, the list of the men I asked to be my best man.
06:54Max, this list is identical with that list.
06:58Chief, what are you doing with the list of my best men?
07:01Did you invite all these men to be your best man?
07:04That's it.
07:04That's what?
07:05That's it.
07:06That's a common denominator we've been looking for.
07:08You asked six men to be your best man, and all have met with foul play.
07:12Hmm.
07:12That is quite a coincidence, isn't it?
07:14It's more than a coincidence, Max.
07:15It's a deadly plot.
07:17If you ask somebody to be your best man, it's a guarantee something will happen to him.
07:20How come you never asked me, Max?
07:21I always thought I was your best friend.
07:23Yes, well, you are my best friend, Jaime, but you're a robot.
07:26I need a best man, not a best thing.
07:29Sorry about that, Jaime, but, well, you see, it wouldn't be legal the other way.
07:33I need someone who can sign the marriage certificate and be a witness.
07:37I can sign it, Max.
07:38I can also make copies.
07:40Max, I notice you have the names of three agents on this list that I don't have on mine.
07:44Well, those are the three men I haven't asked yet, Chief.
07:46He hasn't asked me yet, either.
07:48Now, why would chaos want to do with every man you ask to be your best man?
07:53Why didn't you ask Jaime, Max?
07:55That's a good idea, 99.
07:56Jaime?
07:57I accept, Max.
07:58No, Jaime, I wasn't going to ask you to be my best man.
08:01I was going to ask you why chaos is after every man that I ask to be my best man.
08:06Just a minute, Max.
08:07Chaos wants you to ask someone you haven't asked yet.
08:18Well, then that must be one of the three men on that list.
08:21Holloway, Pruitt, or Finch.
08:22And you think one of them is a double agent?
08:24As much as I hate to think that, we have to consider the possibility.
08:27But, Chief, why would chaos want one of their men to be Max's best man?
08:30I don't know.
08:31Max, what are the duties of your best man?
08:33I can tell you, the responsibilities of the best man are to rent the tuxedos for the wedding, engage the limousine,
08:39and tie the cans in the back of the car.
08:40He is also responsible for making the arrangements for the groom's bachelor party.
08:44Of course, Chief, the bachelor party!
08:47That's it, the bachelor party!
08:48Of course, the bachelor party!
08:51Why didn't I think of that before the bachelor party?
08:53What else could it be but the bachelor party?
08:5799, what about the bachelor party?
09:00Well, you see, Max, if a double agent is your best man,
09:03then he's going to make sure that everyone at the bachelor party is a control agent.
09:06And if everyone at the bachelor party is a control agent,
09:08think of the opportunity to wipe out the whole Washington staff.
09:11So we've got to find out who the double agent is so we can see who's behind all this.
09:14Sure, that's easy for you to say.
09:17It's got to be one of the three men on this list.
09:19I'll have counterintelligence commence a top-four security check on those three men immediately.
09:23But, Chief, that'll take days.
09:24He's got no choice.
09:28Wait a minute, 99.
09:30I know how to find out who the double agent is.
09:32How, Max?
09:32Well, I'll just ask all three men on the list.
09:34And the one that nothing happens to, that will be the guilty party.
09:37Max, two innocent men might get hurt that way.
09:40Not if I ask the guilty one first.
09:57Yeah?
09:57Hello, Holloway.
09:59Maxwell Smart here.
10:00Are you asleep?
10:01Yeah.
10:02Sorry about that, Holloway.
10:03Ordinarily, I'd come over to your place to ask you this, but I have my reasons for asking you on the phone.
10:08What is it, Max?
10:09Well, how would you like to be best man at my wedding?
10:12I thought Simpson was going to be your best man.
10:14Yes.
10:15Well, he was, but he couldn't make it.
10:17Well, then, in that case, I'd be delighted.
10:19Good night, Max.
10:20Well, you don't sound too delighted.
10:22I find it hard to be delighted at four o'clock in the morning.
10:25Yes.
10:25Well, now that you've accepted, Holloway, I think there are a few things that you should know.
10:29Oh, just a second, Max.
10:32Somebody's at the door.
10:34The nerve of some people disturbing him at four o'clock in the morning.
10:37Dear Prude, ordinarily, I'd come over to your place and ask you this in person, but I have my reasons for handling this by letter.
10:58How would you like to be best man at my wedding?
11:01I thought Simpson was going to be his best man.
11:03Simpson was going to be my best man, but he can't make it now.
11:06Therefore, since you are one of my closest friends, it would please me greatly to have you accept.
11:11Please let me know your answer by return mail, as this is most urgent.
11:17Dear Max, I am flattered by your invitation, and I'm pleased to accept yours truly.
11:36Testing, one, two, three, four.
11:57Dear Finch, ordinarily, I'd come over to your place and ask you this in person, or call you on the phone, or even send you a letter.
12:04But I have my reasons for doing things this way.
12:07How would you like to be best man at my wedding?
12:10I thought Simpson was going to be best man.
12:12No, Simpson couldn't make it.
12:14If you decide to accept, please go to the window and wave your arm three times.
12:18If you do not appear, I will have to conclude that you don't wish to be my best man, or that you don't have a tape recorder.
12:26If you do not appear, I will have to conclude that you don't have a tape recorder.
12:56I'd like to ask Pruitt, Holloway, and Finch to be your best man without first asking my permission.
13:00Well, let's look at the bright side of it, Chief.
13:01What bright side?
13:02Now we know that none of those men were double agents.
13:05Hi, Max.
13:06Hi, 99.
13:07Here we go, Chief.
13:07It's the top four security report on Holloway, Pruitt, and Finch.
13:11None of them were double agents.
13:12We know that, 99.
13:14That looks good.
13:15It is.
13:16There's an ice cream truck downstairs that's coming away from samples.
13:19You want a bite?
13:20No, thank you.
13:21How about you, Chief?
13:23Would you like a bite?
13:24Take that away from my face, and don't drip any on the rug.
13:27I already did, Chief.
13:29Both flavors.
13:31Collegg, how's it going?
13:34Excellent.
13:34They're coming in loud and clear.
13:35Now close the door.
13:39Collegg, when I close the door, does light go out?
13:42Well, there are no more names on the best man's list, and we still don't know who the
13:53double agent is.
13:54Well, maybe there are some names on my other list, Chief.
13:56What other list?
13:57My list of ushers.
13:58I'll go ask.
13:59Forget it.
14:00That's what I said, Chief.
14:01Forget it.
14:01I'm not going to lose any more men.
14:02Jaime is going to be your best man.
14:04He's a robot.
14:04He can't be harmed.
14:05But, Chief...
14:06No buts about it.
14:07Jaime is going to be your best man.
14:09But?
14:11Sten Slossner.
14:12Success.
14:13They finally choose who we want to be best man.
14:15Excellent.
14:16Now we can move the truck to another street.
14:18What for?
14:19Business stinks on this corner.
14:32Here he comes.
14:39Excuse, please.
14:40Perhaps you could help us?
14:42I'd be very happy to help you.
14:44You see, this man here wants a fugicle.
14:46However, the fugicle is in the far corner from the freezer.
14:49You have blowing arms.
14:50Maybe you could reach it?
14:51I will try.
14:56I've got it.
14:57And we've got you.
14:59Quick, let's go.
15:00What about my fugicle?
15:01Good morning, Chief.
15:17Good morning, Max.
15:18Is Jaime here yet?
15:19No.
15:20Well, that's funny.
15:21You were supposed to drop by the hotel this morning and go over the final arrangements for the bachelor party and then meet me here.
15:27You're not having your party at the hotel, Max.
15:28I can't allow that many top agents to gather in one hotel.
15:31It's too risky.
15:32But I told the manager that we'd pay for anything that they break.
15:35Well, that's not what I'm talking about, Max.
15:36It's a security risk.
15:37You're having your party at the controlled banquet room.
15:40Oh, gee, Chief, that doesn't sound like any fun at all.
15:44Well, why not?
15:45I'll match our facilities against any hotel in town.
15:47And we have very competitive prices.
15:50How much is the hotel charging you?
15:51$2.50 a head.
15:52How many people are coming?
15:53Forty.
15:54I can get you in here for $3 a head.
15:58That's 50 cents more than the hotel is charging me.
16:01But I'm providing the music to control rhythm airs.
16:04But, Chief, what do we want with an orchestra?
16:07I mean, this is a stag party.
16:08We're not going to dance.
16:10All right, I'll throw in the cake.
16:11The one that Agent 38 comes out of the cake.
16:14I don't think I would like that, Chief.
16:15Why not?
16:16It's just not the same when a guy pops out of a cake.
16:20You seen 38 in a bikini?
16:37Here's your fudgesicle.
16:38Thank you very much.
16:40Where am I?
16:41What am I doing here?
16:43Now we get down to nitty-gritty.
16:45We have proposition to make you.
16:47What kind of a proposition?
16:48Well, tomorrow night at the bachelor party for smart, we want you to blow up all the control agents.
16:53I cannot do that.
16:54I am no longer a chaos robot.
16:56I now work for control.
16:57What got into you, robot?
16:59When you worked for chaos, you used to kill and hello, Dolly.
17:03Hello, Dolly?
17:03Oh, you got the wrong show.
17:06Did I, did I die?
17:08Mame.
17:08You used to kill and maim.
17:10That was before control programmed me for goodness and niceness.
17:13I will not do anything evil.
17:14Listen, all we want you to do is to blow up a nice little bachelor party.
17:20I'm sorry, but now I am programmed for goodness and niceness.
17:23I will not do anything evil.
17:25We know, we know.
17:27Stanislas.
17:28Come here.
17:30Look.
17:31We already have asked him to destroy 40 agents and he has flatly refused.
17:37Enough being nice.
17:48Kill him.
17:49No.
17:50I have not killed him.
17:52I have merely short-circuited him.
17:54Now we can plant the bomb inside him and set it to go off at the party at exactly 10 o'clock.
18:00But will he not know the bomb is inside him?
18:03He will not remember anything.
18:06I will adjust his memory banks and erase this entire incident from his mind.
18:10Now, where is the bomb?
18:12I have hidden it in one of the ice cream cartons, so no one will find it.
18:16Which carton?
18:17The one-marked bomb.
18:38Now the band will take a five-minute break.
18:44Thank you boys from Washington.
18:45Shut up, Max.
18:46It's a great party.
18:47Yes, thanks to you, Jaime.
18:48If it hadn't been for you, this could have been a bomb.
18:50Don't I get any credit?
18:51After all, I'm responsible for the music and the decor and the cuisine.
18:54Oh, the food is great, Chief.
18:55What is that stuff on a shingle?
18:57Cream chip beef.
18:57As a matter of fact, I'm going to get some more before it's all gone.
19:01It's five minutes of ten, Max.
19:02I think we should show the movies now.
19:04Movies?
19:05Yes, Max.
19:05I understand that's what they usually do at bachelor parties, show films.
19:09Oh, what have you got, Jaime?
19:10Well, it took a little doing, Max, but I managed to get these.
19:13Down the Colorado River by kayak.
19:22The wonderful world of zinc and Holland, land of dikes and tulips.
19:28Don't you think these are a little bawdy for this crowd?
19:31If you'll make the announcement, Max, I think we should get started.
19:37Here, Max, let me try.
19:43What was that?
19:44What was what?
19:46Lower the microphone.
19:50It's coming from your gearbox.
19:52Your mechanism never made that sound before.
19:55Open it up.
19:55Let me take a look.
20:02Hmm.
20:03Just as I thought.
20:04It's a bomb.
20:05A bomb?
20:06Max, what happened?
20:07The sheep, there's a bomb planted on Jaime.
20:09It's set to go up in five minutes.
20:11Max, you better get the men out of here quickly.
20:12Right, Jaime.
20:13Chief, start the movies.
20:15Max, any sudden movement might set the bomb off.
20:17You're right, Chief.
20:17I better tell everybody to stand still and not make any sudden movement.
20:24Uh, gentlemen?
20:25Gentlemen, could I have your attention, please, for a moment?
20:27Having a good time?
20:29Max!
20:31Chief, you just can't come right out and tell them.
20:33You've got to ease into it.
20:34Max, they control agents.
20:35They're used to danger.
20:36They won't panic.
20:38Chief, I think I should open with a joke.
20:39Max, tell them.
20:40Max!
20:43Uh, gentlemen, I don't exactly know how to tell you this, but there's a bomb planted in Jaime.
20:51I told you I should have opened with a joke.
20:54Everybody stay right where you are.
20:55That's an order.
20:56I'm ashamed of this display of panic and lack of loyalty to a fellow agent.
21:02You're ready to desert this agent who time and time again has risked his life for yours.
21:07You, Bannister.
21:08If it weren't for Jaime, you wouldn't be alive today.
21:10And you, Carmichael.
21:11You also owe your life to Jaime.
21:13And that goes for half of you men in this room.
21:17Now, I'm going to forget what I just saw.
21:19That's all I have to say.
21:32Max, what happened?
21:33The chief wouldn't let me open with a joke.
21:35Chaos planted a bomb in Jaime and we've got less than two minutes to dismantle it.
21:39There's no need for you to endanger your lives.
21:40I'll just go out and back to the parking lot and blow up.
21:42Wait a minute, Jaime.
21:44I can't let you do that.
21:45My car is out there.
21:46You can't sacrifice yourself, Jaime.
21:48You're too good an agent and too dear a friend.
21:51If I could see the bomb, I could dismantle it.
21:53Would you show us how and we'll do it?
21:55Chief, this will only take two of us.
21:56There's no point in risking another life.
21:58Especially when that life is responsible for the entire control organization.
22:01Isn't that right, Max?
22:02It certainly is, 99, but I think I should stay around anyway and help.
22:05Now, let's get started.
22:0699, you get some silverware.
22:08Jaime, tell us what to do.
22:10We've only got a minute left.
22:11They must have connected the bomb to my sensor mechanism.
22:13Is that your sensor button?
22:15No, that's my belly button.
22:16My sensor button's up a little higher.
22:18Is that it?
22:20That's it, Chief.
22:21Now, unscrew it and remove the wire.
22:23Butter knife.
22:24Butter knife.
22:25Shrimp cocktail fork.
22:27Shrimp cocktail fork.
22:2899?
22:28Yes, Max.
22:29Shrimp off.
22:30Hurry, Max, there's only half a minute left.
22:34Now that you've loosened the wire, place something between it and the bomb to act as insulation.
22:39I'll need something soft for that.
22:4199?
22:42Max.
22:43Give me a piece of rye bread.
22:46There's only pumpernickel.
22:48Jaime, I'm sorry.
22:49There's no more rye bread left.
22:50Just some nice, fresh pumpernickel.
22:52Pumpernickel will be just fine.
22:54Max, there's only 10 seconds left.
22:55Now, if you can loosen the clamp underneath, you should be able to remove the bomb.
22:58Spoon?
22:59Dessert or soup?
23:00Table.
23:02Ice tongs?
23:03Ice tongs.
23:05Five seconds, Max.
23:06Four seconds.
23:07Four seconds.
23:07I've got it, Chief.
23:13Okay, get rid of it.
23:19Close the door!
23:20Right, Chief.
23:20Jack, are you all right?
23:31Missed me by that much, Chief.
23:34What are all these papers?
23:37Well, Max, that was...
23:38Those were secret papers of control.
23:40Well, why didn't you tell me, Chief?
23:42I couldn't, Max.
23:43It was a secret!
23:4699, you don't happen to have a bottle of glue on you, do you?
23:49I don't have a bottle of glue on us.
24:07The End
24:37The End
Comentarios