- hace 6 días
86 and 99 are stranded on a KAOS-controlled island where they must fight for their lives-they are hunted by a sadistic KAOS Agent armed with guns; tracking dogs and KAOS killers. With only 86's intelligence for a weapon, are 86 and 99 doomed? Special guest star Harold Gould plays the man-hunting sociopath Hans Hunter. The episode is a spoof of The Most Dangerous Game.
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00:00Oh
00:30If we don't hear from Agent 27 today, we're going to have to send someone in to find him.
00:57You're really worried about him, Chief.
00:59Ninety-nine, it's been almost three months since we've had a message from him.
01:03Well, Chief, you know how Agent 27 hates to write letters.
01:06Max, the assignment he was on is a vital one.
01:09We've traced Hans Hunter halfway around the world.
01:12This may be our last chance to capture him.
01:13Hans Hunter? Wasn't he a high-ranking Nazi?
01:17He was at various times a Nazi, a communist, a member of the mafia, and is right now one of the top executives of chaos.
01:24If there's anything I hate, it's a joiner.
01:26Yes.
01:29Oh, have him bring it right in.
01:31It's something from 27.
01:37You can just put it down right there.
01:46Sign right there, please.
01:47What kind of a signature is that?
01:55It's the chief. It's my official signature.
01:57I'm sorry, mister, but I've got to have a name on this.
02:01This is a top-secret government organization.
02:04My real name is classified information.
02:06I'm sorry, but no name, no delivery. That's company policy.
02:11Well, this is ridiculous.
02:12Tough beans, Charlie.
02:13All right, all right, all right.
02:22What's the matter with you now?
02:24I've delivered a lot of packages in my time.
02:27Some here to control and some over to chaos headquarters.
02:30And I'll tell you this.
02:31Crime may not pay, but it sure tips a lot better.
02:37All right, let's get this crate open.
02:38Max, do you have your screwdriver?
02:39Right here, chief.
02:40All right, let's go.
03:10All right, let's go.
03:40Chief, it's 27.
03:51Chief, I think there's something definitely wrong with 27.
03:54I'll say there is.
03:56He's dead.
03:58Well, at least he can't get any worse.
04:01He looks so strange.
04:03I don't know how to say this, 99, but...
04:06Agent 27 has been stuffed.
04:07Stuffed?
04:09Stuffed?
04:10Oh, how horrible, chief.
04:12I guess the only thing left is to bury him.
04:13Well, it seems a shame to bury him, chief.
04:16What do you mean?
04:17Well, couldn't we donate him to a museum?
04:19What'd you find out, Max?
04:26You were right, chief.
04:27The boys in the lab went over the body thoroughly.
04:29And they found out that he was shot with a poison dart, then stuffed like an animal.
04:33Who do you think did it, chief?
04:35Hunt's hunter?
04:36Undoubtedly, 99.
04:37It's typical of his and Chaos' fiendish sense of humor.
04:40They must have killed him and then sent us the body as a warning.
04:43Chief, you've got to let me go after Hunter.
04:45I want to get that madman no matter how dangerous it is.
04:48I don't care if he is one of the world's greatest killers.
04:51I don't care if he is a master of fiendish torture and death.
04:54I want him, chief.
04:55You've got to let me have that assignment.
04:57You got it, Max.
04:58Of course, if you'd rather send someone else.
05:00The job's yours, Max.
05:01I mean, I don't want to force you in anything, chief.
05:03You leave tonight.
05:04You and 99.
05:05Where do we go, chief?
05:06Well, that's exactly what we have to find out.
05:08We've got to figure out where 27's body was sent from.
05:12Well, chief, why don't we do a little basic detective work?
05:16Now, for example, the wood in this crate is thin and unprocessed.
05:21There's no evidence of any machine tools used on it.
05:23And the nails are of a peculiar shape not usually manufactured in this hemisphere.
05:29Then there are some hairs caught in this slot here as though the crate had been carried over a long distance by animal.
05:36Those are excellent clues, Max.
05:37But what do they mean?
05:38They mean this, chief.
05:39That this crate was put together and sent from the Caribbean island of Moriba.
05:44Max, that's fantastic.
05:47It certainly is.
05:48How'd you arrive at that conclusion?
05:50From the return address.
05:53Now, we'll get you to Moriba by submarine.
05:56Since you're posing as sportsman on a hunting and fishing expedition,
05:59I've asked Carlson to come up with some special equipment to fit in with your gear.
06:02Carlson?
06:02This has been specifically designed for the agent on vacation.
06:06It's called the B-11 Modified Vindicator Resort Model.
06:09Let me show you how it works.
06:13Are you ready, gentlemen?
06:14Oh, it's one of the deadliest guns I've ever invented.
06:21It's a little unsportsmanlike for shooting fish, isn't it?
06:23Max is an anti-personnel weapon.
06:26Have you got anything else, Carlson?
06:27Well, we have the A-14 Mark II Incinigrator.
06:34Well, that's fascinating, Professor.
06:36What does it do?
06:37Absolutely nothing.
06:38But in the event you're captured by the enemy,
06:41they'll be so intrigued by the way it works,
06:43you'll have time to escape.
06:44Carlson, do you have something compact and lethal
06:47that they can carry on their persons?
06:49Well, yes.
06:50We have the only new device right over here.
06:55Oh, cigarettes.
06:57Not just cigarettes, Chief.
06:58They're called bazooka butts.
06:59Plain or menthol?
07:00Neither.
07:01You see, you put one in your mouth, light it,
07:03take one puff, then throw it.
07:05What happens?
07:06Like a super grenade.
07:07Complete devastation.
07:09Oh, but you don't have to worry about a thing.
07:11You see, as long as they're not ignited,
07:13nothing will happen.
07:14And don't forget that only half of them are bazooka butts.
07:16The rest are real cigarettes camouflaging them.
07:19You be sure and brief 99 on this.
07:21You better come with me, Max.
07:22Your submarine is waiting.
07:24Uh, just one question, Professor.
07:27What happens if you take more than one puff?
07:29You'll blow a hole in the back of your head
07:31the size of a basketball.
07:32Well, that's one way to quit smoking.
07:49Where do we go now, Max?
07:50Well, let's take a look at the map and see.
07:52Okay, now here's our route.
07:56We go straight along this path,
07:58past Alligator Swamp,
08:00turn right at the Rattlesnake Pit,
08:02then crawl through the Spider Cave
08:04and go single file
08:05between the sulfur bog
08:07and Dead Man's Clip.
08:09Max, isn't there another way?
08:11Well, yes, there is 99,
08:12but they advise against it.
08:13Why?
08:14It's too dangerous.
08:15Come on, let's get out of here.
08:25Max, I can't go any further.
08:27We're really lost.
08:28Don't be ridiculous, 99.
08:30I know exactly where I'm going.
08:31I have an infallible sense of direction.
08:33But, Max, it just seems to me
08:34that we've been walking in circles for hours.
08:36But that can't be possible.
08:38Every time we've stopped along the trail,
08:40I've made a little mark.
08:41That way we know where we've been.
08:43What kind of a little mark, Max?
08:45A little axe.
08:46Like that?
08:48Exactly like that.
08:52Oh, Max.
08:55We're hopelessly lost.
08:57Would you drop the cleave, Mr. Smart?
09:00Take the weapons.
09:03My name is Hunt's Hunter.
09:06I'm sure you've heard of me.
09:08Yes.
09:09Murderer, thief, and traitor.
09:12Well, people will gossip.
09:14I'm sure your lovely companion
09:16will learn to like me.
09:17Just a little bit.
09:19I doubt that very much.
09:21Take them to the lodge.
09:23Just a minute, Hunter.
09:24You don't really think we'd be stupid enough
09:27to come here alone, do you?
09:28What do you mean?
09:29Just this.
09:30In a very short while,
09:32General Crawford
09:32and a hundred of his cracked paratroopers
09:35will come crashing into this landing.
09:37Would you believe J. Edgar Hoover
09:42and ten of his G-Men?
09:45How about Tarzan
09:46and a couple of his apes?
09:49Get moving.
09:51Bomb of the Jungle Boy?
09:53Make yourselves comfortable.
10:06Please, sit down.
10:07Ah, you're much smarter than your Agent 27.
10:15If he had taken my advice
10:16and gotten some rest,
10:17he would have lasted a few minutes longer.
10:19So you did murder Agent 27?
10:21Murder is a very nasty word.
10:23Let's just say that in the contest
10:24between myself and 27,
10:26I was the victor.
10:27Contest?
10:28What contest?
10:29Yes, hunting is my hobby, Mr. Smart.
10:32I've hunted all over the world.
10:34India, Africa,
10:35the wilds of Tibet.
10:37I have stalked and killed
10:38a huge rogue elephant,
10:39the ferocious Bengal tiger.
10:41And once, Mr. Smart,
10:44once, Mr. Smart,
10:45have you ever heard
10:47of a great white rhino?
10:49That was done
10:50by the great white rhino?
10:52No.
10:53This was done
10:53by a small blue convertible.
10:56The great white rhino
10:57was driving
10:58a small blue convertible?
11:02Mr. Smart,
11:03I've heard of your exploits.
11:04You too are a hunter.
11:06A hunter of men.
11:07A man much worthy
11:09of my skill.
11:11You know,
11:11I knew when I killed
11:12Agent 27,
11:13you would come hunting me.
11:16Yes, Hunter,
11:17I've accepted your challenge.
11:19And here we are,
11:20face to face.
11:21Now, what do you have in mind?
11:22I could kill you, Mr. Smart.
11:25I could kill you very easily.
11:27But I will give you
11:28one chance to live.
11:30A 50-50 chance.
11:34We will play a little game
11:35called Russian roulette.
11:38It's very simple, really.
11:41Six chambers,
11:42one cartridge.
11:47Would you like to begin?
11:49You wouldn't consider
11:52switching to checkers.
11:55The game is over, Hunter.
11:57Get over there.
11:58All right, now everybody
11:59stay right where you are.
12:01Come on, 99,
12:02we're getting out of here.
12:02Igor, stop them.
12:03Stay where you are, Igor.
12:05I'm warning you,
12:05one more step
12:06and I'll put a bullet
12:07right between those
12:08beady little eyes.
12:08Uh, listen, Igor,
12:16I hope I wasn't out of line
12:18with that
12:18crack about the beady eyes.
12:20Put him down, Igor.
12:25Very well, Mr. Smart.
12:27Most resourceful.
12:28Surely you didn't think
12:29I would put a loaded
12:30weapon in your hands.
12:32Max, he palmed the bullet.
12:34And now,
12:35I must say goodnight.
12:37I have to get up early.
12:38Igor and I are going hunting.
12:40Oh?
12:40And what poor animal
12:42are you going to hunt
12:42this time?
12:43As you can see,
12:44Mr. Smart,
12:45my trophy collection
12:46includes one of almost
12:47every kind of animal.
12:50Except one.
12:51You.
12:53A homo sapien.
12:55Now, just a minute, Hunter.
12:57I'm as normal as you are.
13:00What about me, Hunter?
13:01I have other plans
13:03for you, my dear.
13:04I hope that you will
13:04stay on here
13:05as my permanent guest.
13:08I'd rather take my chances
13:09in the jungle with Max.
13:11Very loyal, my dear.
13:13And very stupid.
13:15We're control agents, Hunter.
13:17We're trained to be
13:18very loyal and very stupid.
13:21Igor will show you
13:24to your rooms.
13:25Get a good rest.
13:27We'll have an early start.
13:35Max, what are we going to do?
13:37He's going to set us loose
13:38in the jungle,
13:39hunt us down,
13:40and kill us.
13:40Don't be ridiculous, 99.
13:43With my skill
13:43as a jungle fighter,
13:44he doesn't have a chance.
13:46You know it,
13:46and I know it.
13:47Max, look.
13:51Now, if only he knew it.
13:57I will give you
13:58one hour's head start,
13:59Mr. Smart.
14:00If you can innude me
14:01until sundown,
14:02you will go free.
14:03You'll let us go free?
14:05You have my word.
14:06Why should we take the word
14:08of a vicious,
14:09homicidal,
14:10psychopathic killer
14:11like you?
14:12Because I am a gentleman.
14:14Oh, well, that's different.
14:16Okay.
14:18Now, how about weapons?
14:19Yes.
14:20I will limit myself
14:21to rifles,
14:21shotguns, pistols,
14:22and knives.
14:23Oh, that seems fair.
14:25Now, how about us?
14:26You.
14:27You will have
14:27your raw courage,
14:28your daring,
14:29your resourcefulness,
14:30your sharp wits.
14:31Listen, Hunter,
14:34I'll make a deal with you.
14:35I'll trade you
14:35two of my sharp wits
14:37for one of your rifles.
14:39Look, Mr. Smart.
14:40How about her raw courage
14:42for a pistol?
14:43I suggest that you start.
14:45My resourcefulness
14:46for a knife?
14:48Very well.
14:49That might make
14:50the hunt more interesting.
14:51Oh, I suggest
14:54you start running.
14:59Listen, Igor,
15:00how would you like
15:02to swap
15:03this nice new knife
15:04for that dirty
15:05old pistol?
15:06Yeah.
15:07Was that yes or no?
15:08No.
15:10I thought so.
15:11Until sundown,
15:12Mr. Smart.
15:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
16:00come on 99 we can't stop now we've got to keep going they're gonna catch up with us max what
16:15are we gonna do we've got to even the odds oh here take this and start digging why
16:21we're gonna build a pit then i'm gonna sharpen some stakes and put them in the bottom of the
16:27pit then we'll cover the pit over nobody will know what's there then finally someone will jump into
16:32the pit and be impaled on the stakes i've heard of that max it's called the malayan man trap it is
16:37you think it'll work well that all depends 99 on what on whether or not hunter is a malayan man
16:44keep digging
16:46max listen what is it do you know what that sound is i'm not sure but it'll never make the top 10
16:58max that's the dogs they're almost here what time is it it's only three o'clock we're not going to be
17:03out of danger as long as that sun's still shining the way i look at it 99 there's only one thing that
17:07can save us what is that a total eclipse
17:09all right that's it from now on no more mr nice guy
17:27all right
17:38yeah
17:49I can't... I can't go any further, Max.
18:07It's almost sundown.
18:19It's almost sundown.
18:23I can't go any further, but...
18:28I can't go any further.
18:33I can't go any further.
18:38I can't go any further.
18:43max a bridge yes i know it looks like the only way across 99 listen if we can get across this
19:01bridge and then destroy it hans hunter will have no way of following us but max it doesn't look
19:05very safe don't be ridiculous 99 whoever built this bridge built it strong enough to support
19:09their own weight what do you think did build it rocks a very small pygmy how far do you think it
19:14is to the bottom of that gorge about a half a mile listen not if you took a running start and you
19:23jumped as far as you could how far do you think you could go about a half a mile listen max we're
19:28coming we've got to do something i'm all for taking our chances on the bridge uh what's the alternative
19:32a certain death in that case i'm all for taking our chances on the bridge listen not it's not going
19:37to hold both of us though well i'll tell you what 99 i'll carry you across it's not going to work
19:41max well i still think we should go across together why well that way in case the bridge collapses then
19:47at least we'll have someone to talk to on the way down now follow up close behind me 99 and be very
19:54careful the slightest little swing and we could both go plunging to our depths right and whatever
19:58be a 2.99 don't laugh
20:01maxwell
20:26Max, I can't hold on.
20:43Just a little ways longer, 99.
20:45Don't let go now.
20:51Come on, 99.
20:52Just a little ways more.
20:56Oh, we've made it, Gary Fish.
21:00Listen.
21:05Max, don't worry.
21:06He's going to come across the bridge.
21:08What are we going to do?
21:09I've got to stop him, 99.
21:10You stay here.
21:11Be careful, Max.
21:25Good work, Max.
21:26Now let's take care of the bridge.
21:29All we have to do is let the bridge down, 99.
21:32Once we destroy the bridge, Hunter can't follow us.
21:35It's five minutes to sundown, 99.
21:37We've made it.
21:38Well, Mr. Smart, it's been fun.
21:52While it lasted, come down, please.
21:57You really didn't do as well as I thought you would.
21:59Although you dispatched Igor quite nicely.
22:05It's only 4.55, Mr. Smart.
22:08I was sure you'd still be alive at least until five o'clock.
22:11I'm disappointed.
22:13You're disappointed.
22:14How do you think we feel?
22:15Before I kill you, I will make a final offer.
22:18I would still like to keep one of you with me.
22:21It would be a terrible waste for someone so young and so beautiful to die.
22:25I'm sorry, Hunter, but I'm not interested.
22:28I think he needs me, Max.
22:30Huh?
22:30Oh, yes, of course, 99.
22:32Well, what do you say?
22:33You know what my answer is.
22:34Of course.
22:35You see, Mr. Hunter, with a dedicated agent like 99,
22:38there can be only one answer to a suggestion like that.
22:41And I think we all know what that answer is.
22:44What is that answer, 99?
22:46Of course.
22:47The answer is no, Hunter.
22:48Then.
22:51Prepare to die.
22:54Wait.
22:55You've changed your mind.
22:56No.
22:56I'd just like one last request.
22:59What is it?
23:00Just a cigarette.
23:01Go ahead.
23:02It will be your last.
23:04Max, may I have a cigarette, please?
23:0599, do you really feel like smoking at a time like this?
23:08Yes, Max.
23:09I'd really like a cigarette,
23:10and I think that you ought to have a cigarette, too.
23:12Forget it, 99.
23:1399, you know I'm trying to quit smoking.
23:15Max, I don't think you need a cigarette.
23:1799, if there's one thing in the world I don't need right now,
23:20it's a...
23:21Of course, that's exactly what I need.
23:26You have 15 seconds, Mr. Smart.
23:29Do you have a light, Max?
23:30Right here.
23:3110 seconds?
23:33Oh, it's got to work.
23:34Don't worry, it's got a money-back guarantee.
23:36Okay.
23:43Are you quite finished, Mr. Smart?
23:46We'll know in a minute.
23:59Oh, Max, how terrible.
24:01He deserved it, 99.
24:02He was a chaos killer.
24:04Sometimes I wonder if we're any better, Max.
24:06What are you talking about, 99?
24:08We have to shoot and kill and destroy.
24:10We represent everything that's wholesome and good in the world.
24:13Okay.
24:17No.
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