- hace 5 meses
Max is following a KAOS Agent who is smuggling a parrot. While questioning the parrot, it is freed by his lawyer. Max and 99 trail him to a pet shop, where Max learns that the pet shop is a cover for Melnick, the Smiling Killer. While trying to break into the pet shop after hours, Max, 99, and Fang are captured. They learn that the parrots are being used to memorize secret information and then smuggled out of the country. This is Fang's final appearance on the series.
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00:00Shhh...
00:24Shhh...
00:26I think he ducked down behind that packing case, 99. I wonder what made him suspicious.
00:34It's those squeaky shoes of yours, Max. Maybe you should take them off.
00:37Good thinking, 99.
00:48It's not my shoes. I think it's my socks.
00:51Then take your socks off.
00:52I'd rather not, 99.
00:53Why?
00:54It might be my feet.
00:5699! I'm hit! I'm bleeding!
01:10It's only red wine, Max.
01:12I'm bleeding? Red wine?
01:14Max! He's getting away!
01:16He's getting away.
01:19I'm going after a 99.
01:21You can't do that, Max.
01:22Yes, I can.
01:22He's out of ammunition.
01:23A 38 Special only fires six shots.
01:26What makes you think he's using a 38 Special?
01:28Because, 99, I happen to be an expert on weapons.
01:30I know the sound of a 38 Special, and I counted six shots.
01:33But, Max, you're making a terrible mistake.
01:39You're the one with the 38 Special, Max.
01:42Well, I knew there was one around here someplace.
01:46That must be the Jeep.
01:48You'll have to make a break for it now, 99.
02:15Max!
02:15Max!
02:16Are you all right?
02:17Yes, I'm all right, 99.
02:20Is he gone?
02:20I'm afraid so, Max.
02:22Max, look.
02:23Oh, he left the bird.
02:25I wonder why he tried to kill him.
02:26Because chaos is vicious, rotten, and cruel.
02:30They'll stop at nothing to achieve their evil ends,
02:32even to shooting a harmless little bird.
02:34Chaos forever.
02:35Chaos forever.
02:37Max!
02:38Well, he may be a harmless little bird, 99,
02:40but he's got a big mouth.
02:41Oh, my God.
03:11Oh, my God.
03:41Here, Chief.
03:44As you can see, the sailor in the alley is a man named Kosovich.
03:47He's a well-known chaos agent.
03:48What I don't understand, Chief, is why chaos would be smuggling information in on an old freighter.
03:54What else is there?
03:55We've jammed their shortwave radio.
03:56We've broken their telegraph code.
03:58And yesterday, we took the last of their carrier pigeons into custody.
04:00Chaos forever.
04:01Chaos forever.
04:02There's something very suspicious about that bird, Chief.
04:06All it ever says is chaos forever.
04:08Chaos forever.
04:09Exactly.
04:10I think he knows more than he's telling.
04:13There are ways to make a parrot talk, Chief.
04:16Turn out the lights.
04:16Max, isn't it a little ridiculous questioning a bird?
04:25All right, you.
04:26Talk.
04:30Listen, are you going to talk or am I going to bring in the cat?
04:33Max, we don't want to use any third-degree tactics.
04:36Oh.
04:38Well, in that case, maybe I better use a different tack.
04:40Turn on the lights, Chief.
04:44All right, now.
04:45You can talk to me.
04:46I'm your friend.
04:4799, why don't you go down to the supply room and get our little friend some crackers?
04:53You see, Chief, this way we...
04:55I must get in there.
04:56Wait a minute.
04:56I can't let you go in there.
04:58All right, Harrison.
05:02Are you the Chief of Control?
05:03I am.
05:04I am Cleveley, ASPCB.
05:06What?
05:07American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Birds.
05:09He says you're a lawyer, Mr. Cleveley.
05:11That is correct.
05:13And for your information, this bird is my client.
05:17What are the charges against him?
05:18Well, none.
05:20Then I demand he be released at once.
05:22Wait a minute.
05:23How about consorting with known criminals?
05:25That is guilt by association, which is clearly unconstitutional.
05:30Mr. Cleveley, this bird may have important information.
05:33You are detaining my client illegally.
05:35Have you no respect for due process of law?
05:38I brought this bird here myself.
05:41Of his own free will?
05:42Well, I didn't exactly ask his permission.
05:45By force.
05:46Well, I didn't twist his wing either.
05:48Did you witness this?
05:50Mr. Cleveley, I can assure you that Max has treated this bird with the utmost courtesy.
05:55It's not a question of courtesy.
05:57This is a matter of civil rights.
05:59Was this bird informed that anything he said could be held against him?
06:02I don't know.
06:04Was he advised that he could make one phone call?
06:07He didn't even think about it.
06:08Tell that to the Supreme Court.
06:11We were merely about to question the bird.
06:14You were?
06:15Doesn't that seem cruel to you?
06:17Grilling an innocent bird?
06:19Oh, I expected to find heartlessness here, but not sheer idiocy.
06:23Just a moment, Cleveley.
06:25There's no more idiocy here than there is in any other organization.
06:28Actually, let me handle this.
06:30Mr. Cleveley, we are in business to fight chaos.
06:33That's why we want information from that parrot.
06:35Then, if you're the experts on chaos, why don't you question each other instead of that bird?
06:41Because he knows more than we do.
06:43That doesn't surprise me.
06:45Hail forever.
06:46Hail forever.
06:48You hear that?
06:49This bird has seen and heard a lot.
06:52Chief, just give me five minutes alone with him.
06:54I'll file suit for a million dollars in damages if you touch one feather on that bird's body.
07:00What exactly do you want, Mr. Cleveley?
07:02This is a writ of habeas corpus.
07:04I suppose you know what that is.
07:06Well, of course we know what that is.
07:08Everybody knows what that is.
07:11What is that, Chief?
07:12It's a court order that compels us to hand over the parrot.
07:15Do we have to, Chief?
07:17I'm afraid so, Max.
07:18It's a legal document.
07:19Where are you taking him?
07:21Anywhere he wants to go.
07:23Where is that?
07:24That is privileged information between my client and his lawyer.
07:29Hail forever.
07:30Hail forever.
07:30Max, I want you to follow him and find out where he takes that parrot.
07:35Right, Chief.
07:36Oh, and Max, be careful.
07:37I don't want him to know that you're following him.
07:39Don't worry, Chief.
07:40If there's one thing I know how to do, it's to put a tail on a bird.
07:44I don't want him to know how to do it.
07:49I don't want him to know how to do it.
07:51I don't want him to know how to do it.
07:52I don't want him to know how to do it.
07:53Hey.
07:58Hey, you.
08:00You planning on buying that magazine?
08:03This ain't a library, mister.
08:05That magazine cost 50 cents.
08:08I'm so loud.
08:09This ain't a library, mister.
08:11Yeah.
08:25Hey, there you go again.
08:27I already paid for this magazine.
08:29I just put it back.
08:31Did you take it from there?
08:32Well, yes, I did.
08:33But that doesn't mean that I didn't 50 cents.
08:37It's used.
08:38All right, I'll take a quarter.
08:39Chisler, deadbeat.
08:46Hey, don't tie up the phone.
08:49I'm expecting a call from my wife.
08:58Hello, Chief.
08:59This is 86.
09:01Hold on a second, Chief.
09:03Hello.
09:04Yes, could you hold on for a minute, please?
09:06Hey, is that for me?
09:06I'll be out in a few minutes.
09:08That's a very important call.
09:10Here.
09:16Hello, Chief.
09:16Hello, Gladys.
09:17Listen, Chief.
09:18I followed Creedly until he passed the parrot on to a chaos messenger.
09:22He just went into a place called Killman's Pet Shop.
09:24I can't hear you, Gladys.
09:25There's a guy talking into a shoe.
09:27One few minutes, Chief.
09:29I don't know.
09:29It looks like a shoe phone.
09:31I get you.
09:32Gladys wants to know where you got the shoe.
09:34Control the shoe.
09:35He says it's control the shoe.
09:37Not yet, Chief.
09:38What's control?
09:39Top secret.
09:40He says it's top secret.
09:42Here he comes now, Chief.
09:43Hey, she wants to know what your job is.
09:46Hello, Gladys.
09:47I'm a spy.
09:49I told you once.
09:50I told you a thousand times.
09:52Ask a stupid question.
09:53You get a stupid answer.
09:55He hasn't got the parrot with him.
09:57What do I want for dinner?
10:00The parrot, Chief.
10:01The parrot.
10:02How about parrot?
10:02I mean, uh, pot roast.
10:05How about pot roast?
10:06Chief, the pot roast is still in there.
10:08I'll be over to control in a few minutes.
10:10Look, I'll call you later.
10:11Goodbye, Chief.
10:12So long, Gladys.
10:13Why is it so hot in here, Carlson?
10:25Well, I'm sorry, Chief, but our air conditioning broke down on us this morning.
10:28Listen, Carlson, I'd like to use the master identification file.
10:31What for?
10:31Well, I think I've got a lead, and I'd like to check it out in the file.
10:35Let him use the master file, Carlson.
10:37But, Chief, that file is not a toy.
10:38You remember what happened to it last time he used it?
10:40Do you really think you can find out anything important, Max?
10:43Have I ever steered you wrong, Chief?
10:46Lately.
10:48All right, Carlson, let Smart see what he can do.
10:51Activate the master identification file.
10:52Okay, Smart, it's all yours.
11:03That's just a figure of speech.
11:05You better tell me what you hope to find out, Max.
11:07Well, Chief, that guy took the parrot to Kilman's pet shop.
11:11And the name Kilman rang a bell, so I'd like to run it through the machine and see what we get.
11:16How long should this take, Carlson?
11:17About ten seconds, if everything goes right.
11:19Let's go go to the delivery slot and see what we get.
11:21Coming out, Max.
11:44I know what I'm doing, Carlson.
11:47I was right, Chief.
11:50Take a look at that.
11:51When the letters and the name Kilman are rearranged, look what they spell.
11:56Melnick.
11:56Who's Melnick?
11:57One of Chaos' top executives.
11:59That's right.
11:59He's known as the Smiling Killer.
12:01Well, you've got to respect a man who enjoys his work, Chief.
12:05Max, if Kilman is Melnick, that means that the pet shop is a Chaos front.
12:09Yes, and it means that Kosovic must be working out of it and taking his orders from Melnick.
12:13That's right.
12:14You and 99 get over there right away and see what you can find out.
12:17Right, Chief.
12:17Can we take Fang with us?
12:18Good idea.
12:19It'll be useful as a cover.
12:20Well, incidentally, Max, you did a good job here.
12:22Oh, thank you, Chief.
12:23You see, Carlson, I told you I knew what I was doing.
12:25That's right, Carlson.
12:26I think you owe 86 an apology.
12:28And he owes me about $80,000.
12:30What for?
12:30For repairs.
12:31Chief, are you absolutely sure he's on our side?
12:57Mr. Melnick.
13:07Our messenger reports he was followed here by a control agent.
13:09Perfect, Kosovic.
13:10Perfect.
13:11It's as though we planned it this way.
13:13What do you mean by that?
13:15Well, now the control knows where the parrot is, they'll be sure to send an agent to investigate.
13:20And Chaos will add another victim to its list.
13:24Which agent do you think they'll send?
13:25I don't know, Kosovic.
13:26I don't know.
13:27But we can always hope that it will be...
13:30Maxwell Smart!
13:31Maxwell Smart!
13:32Maxwell Smart!
13:33Maxwell Smart!
13:34Maxwell Smart!
13:35Maxwell Smart!
13:42What are we going to do, Max?
13:43We haven't seen anyone go in or come out of there in over an hour.
13:46We're just going to have to take a chance and go in, 99.
13:49If it is a chaos front, and if Melnick is operating it, we're bound to find some incriminating evidence.
13:53How do you want to get in?
13:54We'll have to use your skeleton keys.
13:55Let me have them.
13:56Right.
13:57Oh, I'm sorry, Max.
13:58I left them in my other purse.
14:00Well, I guess I better go way in.
14:01Right.
14:05Thirteen?
14:06Thirteen!
14:07Put a penny in.
14:08What?
14:09Put a penny in here.
14:11What are you talking about, 13?
14:12This is 86.
14:13Open up.
14:14Put a penny in the slot.
14:15Put a penny in the slot.
14:15I don't have a penny.
14:20I'll take a nickel.
14:2399, let me have a penny.
14:25What's the matter, Max?
14:25Oh, I don't know.
14:26It's just that 13 is a pain sometimes.
14:28Hi, 86.
14:37Agent 13 here.
14:38What have you got, 13?
14:41Claustrophobia and flat feet.
14:43And what information do you have?
14:45Oh, yeah.
14:46Your weight's 150, and your fortune for today is that you're going to be...
14:50What are you talking about?
14:51How long have you been on duty in here?
14:53Since about two this afternoon.
14:55Well, have you seen anything weird or suspicious?
14:57Not till you came along.
15:01Where's your sense of humor, 86?
15:03Listen, we think that Killman's pet shop is a chaos front,
15:07and that Melnick is operating it.
15:09The smiling killer.
15:10Yes.
15:1199 and I are going to have to go in there.
15:14Let me borrow your skeleton keys.
15:15Right.
15:17Here, and that'll be a $20 deposit.
15:19$20?
15:20$20.
15:21That's what control charges me.
15:2399, can you let me have $20?
15:26Oh, I'm sorry, Max.
15:27I left it in my other purse.
15:29Well, here.
15:30Take my watch as security.
15:32Yeah, I don't know.
15:3486?
15:34It's a perfectly good watch.
15:37Look at that.
15:38One of Mickey Mouse's hands is broken.
15:39Let me...
15:40Well, that's just what I needed.
15:45A perfect end to a glorious day.
15:47Max, don't you think we ought to check for alarms and booby traps before you use those keys?
16:06Good idea, 99.
16:07You better activate your magneto ring.
16:09All right, Max.
16:10Here, can you attach it for me?
16:16Get anything?
16:17No.
16:18It's all right.
16:18There's no electric eye, no alarm systems.
16:20Good.
16:21Now, nothing can go wrong unless this lock is attached to some kind of a...
16:25Some kind of a...
16:27Some kind of a what, Max?
16:28Some kind of a...
16:29Some kind of trap door.
16:34Exactly.
16:34Good evening, Mr. Smart.
16:41So good of you and your friends to drop in...
16:43Drop in, yeah.
16:45Get up.
16:49There must be some fascinating explanation for this unexpected visit.
16:53Okay, let's hear it.
16:55Perhaps you wanted to make a purchase for your pet, and you just couldn't wait for the store to open.
16:59Say, that's not bad.
17:01I'll buy that.
17:02Come on, let's get out of here.
17:06Come on, Anita.
17:08We've decided to stay for a while.
17:10What kind of a fool do you think I am?
17:12Oh, I don't know.
17:13Just an ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill type fool, I guess.
17:17Apparently, you don't know who I am.
17:19Yes, we do.
17:20You're Melnick.
17:21The Smiling Killer.
17:24At your service.
17:25You know Kosovic, of course.
17:27Hello again, Smart.
17:29Yes, the last time I saw Kosovic, he was showing his courage by trying to assassinate a parrot.
17:35Yes, but you must understand these birds are vital to chaos.
17:38And we don't like the idea of control getting a hold of them.
17:42Why not?
17:43An excellent question, miss.
17:46Now maybe you can give me an excellent answer.
17:48Yes, of course.
17:50What?
17:51The formula for the new hydrogen rocket fuel is C2H207, subjected to anti-filtration process and dual carbonic concentration.
18:03The formula...
18:04You see?
18:05The recorder plays the information over and over.
18:08The parrot memorizes it, and then is dispatched to chaos headquarters overseas.
18:13Very clever, Melnick.
18:15Too bad for you we found out.
18:17Too bad for you, Mr. Smart.
18:19Because now we'll have to kill you.
18:20Well, I knew it was too bad for somebody.
18:24Take care of Kosovic.
18:26Try it.
18:27I'm warning you, Kosovic.
18:28If you point that gun at us, Fang's going to leap at your throat and tear you to pieces.
18:32Leap, Fang! Leap!
18:34Leap, Fang!
18:34Go ahead, Fang, leap.
18:40Doesn't respond too well.
18:42Who taught him to leap?
18:44You did, Max.
18:45Oh.
18:46Don't hurt the dog, Kosovic.
18:47We'll send him to chaos headquarters and retrain him.
18:50Here.
18:51Use this.
18:51What's that?
18:55A tranquilizer gun.
18:57It slows up an animal's reaction so that he can be handled more easily.
19:02Somebody's at the front door.
19:04I'll go up there and see who it is.
19:05You take care of them, Kosovic.
19:07Goodbye, Mr. Smart.
19:09Oh, by the way, I almost forgot.
19:16Listen, Melnick, tell me one thing.
19:19Why do you always smile just before you kill someone?
19:21I guess it's just because I like dealing with people.
19:29All right, Smart, I'll make it easy on you.
19:31Where do you want it?
19:32Where?
19:33That's right.
19:33I'll give it to you any way you want.
19:35How about Philadelphia?
19:38Goodbye, Mr. Smart.
19:40Wait!
19:41Before you shoot us, I'd like to ask for something.
19:45What is it?
19:46A goodbye kiss.
19:4799, you hardly know him.
19:49That's you.
19:51Oh.
19:52Wait a minute.
19:54That's not a bad idea.
19:56What?
19:57An attractive man like Kosovic.
19:59A man of action, daring, strength.
20:03I think I'd like to have him kiss me goodbye.
20:0799, how can you talk like that?
20:09The man is a vicious, rotten, chaos killer.
20:12Everyone has their little faults, Max.
20:13Is this some sort of a trick?
20:15Would I trick you at a time like this?
20:17I can't resist you.
20:1999, control yourself.
20:21It's those piercing black eyes.
20:23It's those piercing black eyes.
20:24That cruel mouth.
20:27Kiss me, Kosovic.
20:35Max, are you all right?
20:36All right, 99, I've just been tranquilized.
20:40All right, Kosovic, get up against that wall.
20:42Hold it, 99.
20:43Let me take care of this.
20:45I've got a score to settle with Kosovic.
20:51I've got a score to settle with Kosovic.
21:21Kosovic, that's a chief of control up there at the door.
21:36We've got to kill smart and get out of here.
21:42Kosovic, get out of the way!
21:51Chief, thank goodness.
21:57All right, Larrabee, take him down to headquarters.
21:59You got here just in time.
22:00Yes, it looks like that, 99.
22:02Well, what's with Max?
22:04What's going on here?
22:05That's a little hard to explain, Chief.
22:07You see, Max and Kosovic have been tranquilized.
22:11Tranquilized?
22:12They've hit each other with tranquilizing pellets.
22:14It should wear off in a couple of hours.
22:17He'll be all right, won't he?
22:18Oh, sure, Chief.
22:19He's just asleep.
22:20Look how peaceful he looks.
22:22Like a five-year-old child.
22:24Yes, I know.
22:26Sometimes it worries me.
22:34Oh, here, Max.
22:35Put these tapes away.
22:36We'll turn them over to the defense department tomorrow morning.
22:38Where do you want me to put them, Chief?
22:39In the wall safe behind the picture.
22:4199, I'd like you to help me make out a report on tonight's activities.
22:44Right, Chief.
22:45Usual procedure?
22:46Naturally.
22:46Three copies of the report.
22:48File the master copy and burn the other two.
22:50Of course.
22:51Chief, I've been meaning to ask you about that.
22:53Why do we bother making extra copies when all we do is destroy them?
22:56It's security procedure, 99.
22:58Doesn't that strike you as being a little odd?
23:00Well, I used to think so, too, but...
23:02Well, it's all carefully explained in the Control Standard Procedure Handbook.
23:06Oh, may I have a look at that handbook sometime?
23:07No, I'm afraid not, 99.
23:08Why not?
23:09We burned it.
23:11Chief, I'm having a little trouble getting this picture up.
23:14Come on!
23:17Uh, Chief?
23:19Either this is the wrong picture or somebody stole your wall safe.
23:25It's the wrong picture.
23:33Have you got the new combination, Max?
23:36New combination?
23:37New combination?
23:39Yes, according to standard security procedure, we changed the combination yesterday.
23:44Do you have it?
23:45Well, I didn't memorize it, Chief, but I had the usual three copies made.
23:49Where are they?
23:50We burned them.
23:51Oh, yes, of course.
23:52Do you have the master copy?
23:54No, I don't, Chief.
23:55Uh, but I put it in a place where no one will get it.
23:58Where, Max?
23:59Max?
23:59What's the case?
24:00No, I don't.
24:01Yes, of course.
24:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:03Ha, ha, ha, ha.
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