- hace 5 meses
After Max is almost killed by KAOS agents Perry and Carter, the Chief arranges to fake his death to everyone so they can use information Max has in order to discover the identity of "The Blaster," a KAOS agent who each year blows up a national monument in Washington D.C.
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00:00Christopher.
00:14Ah, Stromberg. How was your flight?
00:18Excellent.
00:19Coffee to start with, sir?
00:21Please.
00:23Well, Christopher, is everything prepared for the blaster's annual visit?
00:31Yes, yes, of course.
00:33What national building is the blaster going to blow up this year?
00:37The U.S. Internal Revenue Building.
00:40How magnificent.
00:42It'll throw the American economy into complete confusion.
00:45Another triumph for chaos.
00:47The blaster will enter the country in the next 48 hours.
00:50The building will be blown up exactly one week from tonight.
00:53How is the blaster getting into the country this time?
00:55He's coming in with the lover.
01:00Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I got ashes in your coffee.
01:03It's all right. I'll get a fresh cup.
01:20Good afternoon.
01:33Good afternoon.
01:35There's a man standing behind you with a gun in your back.
01:38I advise you to do exactly as he says.
01:41So, our old friend, Maxwell Smart.
01:44Ah, just a minute. You guys are a little out of line.
01:47I was just sitting here reading my newspaper and waiting for my lunch.
01:50And listening in to a flower?
01:52Isn't that a little bit unusual?
01:55Not as unusual as what your friend's doing. He's talking into one.
01:59Now, Mr. Smart.
02:07Huh?
02:09You don't make a scene.
02:11Just get up and walk to that green sedan parked at the curb.
02:14But I haven't had my bacon and eggs yet.
02:16How unfortunate.
02:18But you don't understand.
02:20If I don't have my lunch here, I can't get my parking ticket validated.
02:29All right, better parking, sir.
02:39What happened to him?
02:40I think he's been shot.
02:41I didn't hear any shooting.
02:42Somebody call a cop.
02:43Get an ambulance.
02:44Somebody get an ambulance.
02:45It's too late.
02:47This man is dead.
02:50Hey Charlie!
02:52Cancel the bacon and eggs!
03:20¶¶
03:50Poor Max. He was so young.
04:09Yes, he was young.
04:10And vital.
04:12He was vital.
04:14And intelligent.
04:18Loyal.
04:20Yes, he was loyal.
04:22Oh, poor Fang. He's so upset.
04:25Yes, well, Fang and Max were in the same graduating class at spy school.
04:29Oh, Chief, please let me go after whoever did this.
04:31No, I can't do that, 99.
04:33I'm assigning you to a case that only you can handle.
04:35What's that?
04:37Antonio Carlos Carioca.
04:39Oh, Chief, every time he comes in town, all he does is stay up all night partying.
04:43I know, 99, but he's a very influential person, and we can't afford to let anything happen to him while he's here.
04:49Besides, he specifically requested that you be assigned to him again.
04:52But, Chief, I'm in mourning for Max.
04:55I know, 99. Maybe this assignment will be just what you'd need.
04:58It'll help take your mind off this terrible thing that happened.
05:01I'm afraid I'm going to be a long time forgetting, Chief.
05:05Max was someone special.
05:07He had a way of getting under your skin.
05:11She certainly did.
05:13Now, now, 99, I'll walk you to your car.
05:16Come on, Fang.
05:18I'll be all right, Chief.
05:2399, will you wait in the car? I'll be along in a minute.
05:25Right, Chief.
05:26Go with her, Fang.
05:27Pardon me for intruding at a time like this, but were you very close to Max?
05:38Are you kidding? We were inseparable.
05:42Max, are you crazy?
05:43You were told to stay in hiding until this was over.
05:46Don't you realize by coming here you jeopardized our whole plan for capturing the blaster?
05:50Some funeral.
05:51Look at those crummy flowers.
05:53They must have cost a dollar and a half.
05:54What did you do, pick up an old corsage someplace?
05:57It isn't important.
05:58Well, it's important to me.
06:00And another thing, this cemetery lot.
06:02Why isn't it up on a hill, Chief? You know I like a view.
06:06Max, for the past five years, the blaster has eluded us.
06:09But this time, we know exactly what he's going to do and when,
06:11because you overheard their plans before they killed you.
06:15You call that a headstone?
06:16I've seen better headstones for parakeets.
06:19Max, Chaos must remain convinced that you're dead, or they'll change their plans.
06:23Now, why did you take a chance and come here?
06:25Because I wanted to pay my last respects to somebody that I used to be very fond of.
06:30Judging from the turnout, I'm the only one.
06:32Where is everybody?
06:34Well, I don't know, Max. I guess they just had something else to do.
06:37Well, where's Parker? Why isn't Parker here?
06:39Parker had a previous engagement.
06:41Another funeral?
06:41No, he had tickets to a ball game.
06:43Oh, well, that's a legitimate excuse.
06:45But how about Carlson? Why isn't Carlson here?
06:47Carlson has a bad cold.
06:48Oh, and I suppose he was afraid to come here and give it to me, very considerate of him.
06:52Max, let's get you into hiding before somebody sees you.
06:54Don't touch me.
06:56I watched you during the services, and you weren't even moved.
06:59Max, you're not really dead.
07:01But everybody thinks I am.
07:03The least you could have done was sniffle.
07:05At some funeral, I was the only one who cried.
07:08Max, and another thing, Chief, about that casket.
07:11What was that made out of, cardboard?
07:13When I get up to you, your next funeral will be truly magnificent.
07:16Yes, you say that, but you don't mean it.
07:18And besides, I may not be around the next time to check.
07:22You get to your hideout and stay there?
07:24Chief, do you really think my coming here endangered our chances for capturing the blaster?
07:29It could have.
07:30I don't think they recognize you.
07:31I spotted two chaos agents observing the services from their car,
07:34and they seemed convinced that you were really quite dead.
07:36Two chaos agents?
07:37Yes, Stromberg and Christopher, the men who murdered you.
07:40They came to my funeral?
07:42Who do you think sent the flowers?
07:44That's very considerate, Chief.
07:45It just goes to show you that you have to be murdered
07:48before you can find out who your friends really are.
07:50I must remember to send them a thank you note.
07:53Max, please, get going.
07:54Chief, if you don't mind, you go ahead.
07:58I'd like to be alone for a few minutes.
08:00I want to say goodbye to myself.
08:02I admit these aren't very pleasant accommodations, Max,
08:14but we thought it would be safer for you to be hiding in a deserted building.
08:17Well, that's all right, Chief.
08:18I'm getting used to this shabby treatment.
08:20It's only for a couple of days, Max.
08:22Well, I didn't expect to go to heaven when I got killed,
08:25but I didn't expect this either.
08:28You just have to get used to it.
08:31Until we make our move, this will be your home.
08:34Careful, Chief.
08:35That's my favorite easy chair.
08:37And watch your ashes.
08:39The maid just finished vacuuming.
08:41Let's cut it out.
08:42The important thing is that you not leave this place for any reason whatsoever,
08:47just to make sure I'm stationing Agent 13 outside.
08:51It's vital that the blaster be stopped.
08:53Well, we've stopped them so far, haven't we, Chief?
08:56No, we haven't.
08:57What do you mean?
08:58Well, Max, this is classified information.
09:00But every year, for the past five years,
09:03the blaster has sneaked into Washington
09:04and blown up one of our national monuments.
09:07A national monument?
09:08You mean like the Washington Monument?
09:09Who told you?
09:10Who told me what?
09:12There's nothing wrong with the Washington Monument.
09:13I pass it every day.
09:15That is a credit to the labor unions of our country.
09:18Carpenters, plumbers, electricians, stonemasons, engineers,
09:21everybody it takes to put up a building.
09:23What are you talking about?
09:24I'm talking about a heroic workforce of 6,000 men,
09:28all on emergency standby duty,
09:30waiting by their phones for a call from a Klutsky.
09:33Klutsky?
09:34Klutsky. He's the foreman.
09:36The blaster always strikes at midnight.
09:39And within minutes, the emergency call goes out to Klutsky
09:41and he contacts his 6,000 men.
09:44Wow.
09:45He must have some phone bill.
09:476,000 workers converged on that bombed out building,
09:50working without a break.
09:51And by daylight, the building was rebuilt
09:53without the public knowing it was ever destroyed.
09:55That's amazing.
09:57Max, haven't you ever wondered
09:58why the National Archives building
09:59has been closed for almost a year?
10:01The blaster?
10:03Leveled it to the ground.
10:04By the morning, they had the outside of it built up.
10:07Do you know what's the inside of that building?
10:09What?
10:09A vacant lot.
10:12That's incredible.
10:13And now he's after the Internal Revenue building.
10:15He's got to be stopped, Chief.
10:17Yes, if he succeeds,
10:18the records of every taxpayer in this country
10:20will be destroyed.
10:21We won't know who's paid his taxes and who hasn't.
10:24Well, that'll just mean that every taxpayer
10:26is on his honor.
10:27This country could be in a lot of trouble, Chief.
10:34Well, at least we've got one thing to go on.
10:36What's that?
10:36Well, you remember when I was listening
10:39to the two chaos men,
10:40one of them said that the blaster
10:42was coming into the country with the lover.
10:44Now, I've been working on that piece of information
10:45for two days now, and you know what?
10:47You think you've got the answer?
10:48No, I think I've wasted two days.
10:51Well, I've got to be going, Max.
10:53Remember, keep out of sight.
10:58Goodbye.
10:58Goodbye, Chief.
11:00Oh, is there anything I can bring you?
11:02Yes, a copy of House Beautiful.
11:04I'm thinking of redecorating.
11:27Well, I'm thinking of having a lot of money.
11:31I'm thinking of having a lot of money.
11:38They're not going to go.
11:40I'm thinking of having money.
11:46Oh, my God.
11:46That way, don't worry.
11:48I'm thinking of having money.
11:51I'm thinking of having money.
11:54Where do you think you're going, 86?
12:03Oh, it's you, 13.
12:05Listen, I just had to get out and stretch my legs.
12:08You don't know what it's like being cooped up in a small room like that.
12:11I'm sitting in a mailbox and you're telling me I don't know what it's like to be cooped up in a small room?
12:16I'd love to be cooped up in a small room.
12:19I'd give anything to be cooped up in something as big as a small room.
12:22Take it easy, 13.
12:23Take it easy.
12:25Every assignment I get, I'm always locked in something small.
12:28I'm always in a mailbox or a scale or a locker or a grandfather's clock or a tree.
12:33Do you know what happened when I was stationed in that tree at the rubber plantation case?
12:36What?
12:37I was tapped.
12:39Try that sometime.
12:40Try standing up all night with a spigot in your stomach.
12:43Pull yourself together.
12:45I'll be all right, 86, just as long as that woman doesn't come back.
12:49What woman?
12:50The one who has the boy in the army.
12:52Every day she sends him something.
12:54Well, what's so bad about that?
12:56Today she sent him Limburger cheese.
13:0413, keep the lid closed.
13:06You're ruining the neighborhood.
13:07Who is it?
13:20It's the chief.
13:21How's it going, Max?
13:28It's terrible.
13:30I'm beginning to feel like the prisoner of Zenda.
13:32Well, tomorrow you'll be free because the blaster is scheduled to blow up the Internal Revenue building tonight at midnight.
13:37Did you find out who the lover is?
13:40No, but we're still trying.
13:41And just in case, I've got McCluskey standing by.
13:43How about 99?
13:44How's she?
13:45I think under the circumstances, she's taking it admirably.
13:48I'm not cold in my grave yet, and every night she's out on the town.
13:51Max, you're not really dead, and besides, 99's on an assignment.
13:54Well, the least she could do is wear a black dress every time Carioca comes to town.
14:03Wait a minute, chief.
14:05Isn't it a little coincidental that when Antonio Carlos Carioca comes to town,
14:11it's always at approximately the same time that the blaster makes his appearance?
14:15Yes, we've thought about that, but it doesn't check out.
14:18Because at the exact moment those buildings were being demolished,
14:20Carioca was having a farewell supper on board his yacht with 99.
14:24And 99 is sure that he never slipped off the yacht for any long period of time?
14:28She's positive.
14:29And how can you blow up a building when you're having supper on a yacht?
14:33Well, maybe it is just a coincidence.
14:35Oh, don't worry about it, Max.
14:36We'll get the blaster.
14:37Now go ahead and eat.
14:37I've got to leave.
14:40What did you bring me today, chief?
14:41Corned beef from Irving's Delicatessen.
14:45Chief?
14:45Hmm?
14:46I don't care what happens to me,
14:48but somehow, someplace, sometime,
14:51I'm going to put that man behind bars.
14:54The blaster.
14:55No, Irving.
14:56This corned beef is terrible.
14:58On the lighter side of the news,
15:07millionaire playboy and dignitary Antonio Carlos Carioca
15:10bids our city farewell tonight
15:12and sails home aboard his new $2 million yacht.
15:16Our news cameras film these exclusive shots
15:18of the custom-built ship anchored in the Potomac River.
15:20The lavish new vessel is called the El Amador
15:24and boasts seven staterooms, three bars.
15:30Did he say El Amador?
15:33The El Amador.
15:37El Amador is Spanish for the lover.
15:39Control headquarters.
15:54Hobson speaking.
15:55Hello, Hobson.
15:56Let me speak to the chief.
15:57He's not here.
15:58All right, listen, Hobson.
15:59Get this and get it straight.
16:00It's top priority.
16:02Who is this?
16:03Maxwell Smart, age in 86.
16:06Now, listen, Hobson.
16:07I want you to tell the chief
16:08that the blaster is on board
16:10Antonio Carlos Carioca's yacht.
16:12Come on.
16:13Quit snarling.
16:15Who is this?
16:16I'm telling you, Hobson.
16:17It's Maxwell Smart.
16:19Now, tell the chief
16:20the reason he hasn't been able to find the lover
16:21is because the lover in Spanish is El Amador.
16:24You see, Carioca named his yacht the lover,
16:26but being Spanish,
16:27he painted the name of the yacht
16:28in Spanish, the El Amador.
16:30In Spanish?
16:31Uh, wait a minute.
16:33Or is El Amador the lover in English?
16:35No, English is lover in Spanish.
16:37Or the El Amador is Spanish for English.
16:41Uh, or is El Amador English for Spanish?
16:45Either way, call the Coast Guard
16:47and tell the lover
16:47that the chief and the El Amador
16:49are the same boat.
16:51Well, it sounds like Maxwell Smart.
16:54Hmm.
16:55Make about as much sense as he did.
16:57But you can't fool me.
17:00Maxwell Smart couldn't be making this call
17:02because he's dead.
17:05Hello?
17:07Hello?
17:08Hello?
17:09Hello?
17:17Here, you better let me take that.
17:18What are you doing in that mailbox?
17:20What mailbox?
17:21All right, come on out of there.
17:22You're under arrest.
17:23I don't think you understand, officer.
17:25You see, I just got in town
17:26and there wasn't a hotel room.
17:27If you don't come out, I'm coming in.
17:29Tell your story in night court
17:30to Judge Roberts.
17:31Judge Roberts?
17:32I think I got a letter for him.
17:33How come on, Al?
17:4113.
17:4213, you've got to call headquarters
17:43and tell Hobson that
17:44and tell Hobson that...
17:4513?
17:4513?
17:4513?
17:4513?
17:46He's been mailed.
17:50He's been mailed.
17:53I do not understand.
17:54I do not understand.
17:54I do not understand.
17:55Always you're so alive and gay.
17:56This year you're so sad.
17:58Everything I say makes you cry.
18:00I'm sorry, Senor Carioca.
18:02It's not your fault, though.
18:03And stop calling me Senor Carioca.
18:05Call me Antonio.
18:07It was our last night.
18:09What can I do to cheer you up?
18:10Let me buy you something.
18:12A dress.
18:14A diamond.
18:15A candy store.
18:17It's just that I've lost someone
18:19very dear to me.
18:20My...
18:21My uncle.
18:23I'll buy you a new one.
18:24Stop crying, please.
18:26You're too young to cry.
18:28Too lovely.
18:29Too smart.
18:31Smart!
18:33What did I say now?
18:35I'm sorry.
18:37I'll be all right.
18:39See?
18:42That's better.
18:44There is a saying.
18:45The majesty of a woman's eyes
18:47should never be diminished
18:48by the ignobleness of tears.
18:50Oh.
18:52That's beautiful.
18:53My father always said that.
18:55He is 86 years old.
18:5786!
19:00Why are you crying?
19:02Papa is still alive.
19:03He feels marvelous.
19:05Here, I'll show you a picture.
19:07Here he is on his favorite horse,
19:09Max Millian.
19:10Oh.
19:10My father calls him Max.
19:13Max!
19:15What have I said now?
19:17What are you crying for?
19:19I loved him.
19:22You loved my father's horse?
19:24I don't understand what is going on.
19:26Go in there.
19:27Go in there, Frank.
19:29Oh, thank you, my honey.
19:31You forgot your key,
19:32so I brought it over.
19:33I'm sorry,
19:34but she insisted on coming aboard
19:35and seeing her niece.
19:36I tried.
19:36It is all right, Christopher.
19:37Inform Stromberg to start the engines.
19:40We sail in 15 minutes.
19:42Right.
19:42Okay, Carioca.
19:46Stay right where you are.
19:48Or should I say the blaster.
19:50Max!
19:51Fuck!
19:53Okay, drop it.
19:55Sorry about that, 99.
19:57Now, whoever you are,
19:59remove your hat.
20:02So, you are still alive,
20:04Maxwell Smart.
20:05How interesting.
20:07Un-temporary.
20:08You might as well hand over
20:09that gun blaster
20:10because this yacht
20:11happens to be surrounded
20:12by the Seventh Fleet.
20:14I find that hard to believe.
20:15Would you believe
20:16the Sixth Fleet?
20:18I don't think so.
20:19How about a school
20:20of angry flounder?
20:22Well, the patrol thought
20:23that if I believed you were dead,
20:24I would proceed with my plan
20:25and they would capture me.
20:27How naive you Americans are.
20:29What do you mean?
20:31I have already been inside
20:32the Internal Revenue Building
20:33with the afternoon sightseeing tour.
20:35I slipped away from the group,
20:37planted the bomb,
20:38and rejoined them.
20:40All that is left to do now
20:41is to set it off.
20:42Oh, really?
20:44Well, you're the one
20:45that's naive, blaster,
20:46because that building
20:47happens to be completely surrounded
20:48and you could never get near enough
20:50to set off the bomb.
20:51But I don't have to go there
20:52to set off the explosion,
20:53Mr. Smart.
20:55Back up.
21:01Sit down.
21:03You see, Mr. Smart,
21:05my bomb operates
21:06on the principle
21:07of high-frequency sound waves.
21:09This lever controls
21:10the ship's whistle.
21:11The first two blasts
21:13of the whistle
21:13are the same whistle sounds
21:14heard every day
21:15in the harbor.
21:16But the third blast
21:17is on a wavelength
21:18that the human ear
21:19cannot detect.
21:21A wavelength
21:21that will explode the bomb.
21:23So that's how you
21:24blew up all those buildings
21:25without ever leaving the yacht.
21:27Precisely.
21:29And what more
21:30perfect alibi
21:30could I have
21:31than a beautiful
21:32control agent
21:33swearing she was having
21:35dinner with me
21:35at the time?
21:36And you call yourself
21:38a gentleman.
21:40Now, Mr. Smart,
21:41I shall pull this lever
21:43three times
21:43and your internal
21:45revenue building
21:46will go up in smoke.
21:47Smart.
22:03Smart.
22:10That's one.
22:13You know, two against one is really rotten.
22:28Don't move.
22:30Don't move.
22:37Missed me by that much.
22:39Ninety-nine.
22:44Ninety-nine.
22:48Max, are you all right?
22:50Yes, Chief, as long as I don't have to jump over that bar again.
22:53What happened to 99?
22:54Oh, she's all right. She just fainted.
22:55How did you know I was here?
22:57Hobson contacted me. After he hung up on you, he had the operator trace the phone call and found out it came from a shoe.
23:01Oh, good work.
23:02How did you know the blaster was here?
23:04Simply by using my Spanish, Chief.
23:05You see, El Amador in Spanish is lover.
23:08And lover in English is El Amador.
23:11So, it figured that if the blaster was on the El Amador, that meant that Carioca was on the lover.
23:18Because lover in Spanish is El Amador.
23:20And El Amador in English is Spanish.
23:23Oh, Max.
23:25It really is you.
23:30You see, Chief, in that way, he was able to set off the explosions without ever leaving the ship.
23:35Absolutely brilliant.
23:37Well, we'll dismantle that bomb, then we can move all the tax records back into the building.
23:41And to think that I sat here each time and actually watched him set off those blasts without even knowing.
23:47Well, it wasn't your fault, 99. You thought he was blowing the ship's whistle.
23:50Actually, all he was doing was walking around the bar, looking at his watch, and then reaching up and pulling down the lever.
23:56Max!
23:57Max!
23:57What's that?
23:58Relax, gang.
24:00The first two only blow the ship's whistle.
24:02It's the third one that sets off the bomb.
24:10See?
24:14Well, Chief, no use keeping McCluskey waiting.
24:18Hey!
24:32¶¶
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