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00:03Boy, that was great.
00:05A family weekend in the wilderness.
00:08No phones, no traffic.
00:10No surprise business from Steve Urkel.
00:13Surprise!
00:18Hi, Carl.
00:21Hi, Laura, my little sweet potato.
00:26Did you think of me while you guys were camping?
00:29Yeah.
00:30Every time I used a bug spray.
00:33Aw, how sweet.
00:35Hey, Carl, how come you didn't invite me along?
00:38Oh, gee, we wanted to, Steve, but they were overbooked.
00:42The forest was full.
00:45Maybe next year.
00:47Hey, you've got some first-rate equipment here, Carl.
00:50Thank you, and I'd like to keep it that way, so don't touch anything.
00:54I'm gonna put this in the garage.
00:56Hey, let me get the door for you.
00:58No, watch out for the ripcord!
00:59No, no, no!
01:00Get out!
01:08Get out!
01:14Did I do that?
01:28it's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page
01:35love and tradition of the grand design some people say it's even harder to find
01:42well then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls
01:49cause all I see is a tower of dreams real love bursting out of every scene
01:59days go by we're gonna fill our house with happiness
02:06the moon may cry but we'll smother the blues with tenderness
02:13days go by there's room for you room for me for gentle hearts and opportunity
02:22days go by it's the bigger love of the family
02:45you hungry? yeah
02:52wait a minute
02:55are you paying bills? no why? we like to stay out of your way when you pay bills
03:01you get a little uh what's the word? psycho
03:07that's the one
03:09for your information I am doing our taxes
03:12oh
03:16let's get out of here
03:23hi honey
03:24hey babe how was work? what a day
03:27I'm head of security I have keys to 300 offices and I locked myself out of mine
03:35what's all this?
03:36Harriet this year I'm doing our taxes
03:40Carl those forms are too complicated let a professional do it
03:44are you implying that I can't handle a simple tax return?
03:48oh I'm sorry honey I didn't mean to imply that
03:51I meant to say it straight out
03:55Harriet it is just too late I fired our accountant
03:58last year we paid him $200 to get a $100 refund
04:03the man is a crook
04:04the man is your brother
04:08I can do my taxes just as well as Calvin
04:11Carl I'm begging you don't do this yourself
04:13well why not?
04:14I can say it in one word
04:16Leavenworth
04:19Harriet all you need to know how to do
04:21is add, subtract and read
04:24all I need is a little peace and quiet
04:26I guess I shouldn't have told Eddie that his band could practice here
04:30what band?
04:35that band
04:41hold it, hold it, hold it
04:46dad, don't yell you could damage my hearing
04:49you boys are gonna have to take this someplace else
04:53you're just too loud
04:54if it ain't loud it ain't rock and roll
04:58I'm gonna get my tambourine and jam with the guns
05:04I'm gonna get me some cotton and jam it in my ears
05:10hey
05:12what's going on here?
05:14hi I'm Rachel, we're rehearsing
05:15no you're not, you're leaving
05:17dad, we've gotta get my song together for this video
05:21we're entering a contest
05:22oh you mean the one on Chicago teen tracks?
05:25yeah
05:25I love that show
05:26if we win the locals, we could get on MTV
05:29you guys, what's important is if we win we can get a thousand bucks
05:33hey, well now if you're really serious
05:36I'd be happy to write you a script
05:38great, you're hired
05:39yes
05:40now remember
05:42think hip
05:43think cool
05:44think fresh
05:47any other instructions?
05:48yeah, think fast
05:49we need it by tomorrow
05:52think hip, think cool, think fresh
05:54I got ideas so fresh I haven't even thought of them yet
06:00you know Eddie, we decided to write this video ourselves
06:03how come we're changing the plans?
06:06I put this band together and I wrote the songs
06:09therefore, I make the decisions
06:13well this is the Winslow household
06:15I'm Mr. Winslow
06:16and I say that you're gonna make your decision someplace else
06:20come on dad, we're really in a bind
06:22look, I...
06:23the video's due Monday morning
06:25no place to go
06:25come on Mr. Winslow, leave dad
06:28well look, I'll tell you what
06:29you can use the garage
06:31thanks dad
06:32alright guys, move this stuff into the garage
06:34Kyle, break down the drums
06:35Jerry
06:40where's Rodney?
06:42we gotta get going on this video
06:44the contest ends in a couple of days
07:00Steve
07:04Kirkle
07:06this is a private rehearsal
07:09perhaps like an audition
07:10this looks like a polka crowd
07:14a woman and a two and...
07:26you've just squeezed all the air out of my billows
07:33Steve, we don't need an accordion player
07:35why, too hip?
07:39yeah, Eric, that's always your problem
07:43hi guys
07:45Rodney, it's about time
07:47where's your video camera?
07:49well, I was shooting my documentary on unsafe conditions in the girls locker room
07:55everything was fine until a couple girls jumped me
07:59they smashed my camera and threw me in the showers
08:01they smashed my camera and threw me in the showers
08:03it was great
08:08way to go Rodney
08:10how do we shoot a video without a camera?
08:12well, you see, when we win the thousand dollars, we can buy a new camera
08:17just a thought, I am in the audio visual club at school
08:20and I can get my hands on any video equipment I need
08:23but since you don't want me in your van
08:31I'll just take my squeeze box and go home
08:33Steve, wait
08:40how would you like to be our camera man?
08:43I'd be honored
08:44wait a minute, let's put this to a vote
08:47I vote no, Urkel's a dweeb
08:51well, I vote yes
08:54congratulations, Urkel
08:55you're our new camera man
08:57wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, guy
09:00you won't be sorry
09:16now let's see, subtract line 27B from line 50
09:21where's 27B?
09:2427, 28, 28B
09:26no 27B
09:28where are you, you stinking little line
09:30hi, hi, how's it going?
09:31oh, just fine, just fine
09:35you wouldn't happen to see line 27B on there, would you?
09:40on this form?
09:41tax form for government-subsidized poultry farmers?
09:46you picked up the wrong form, didn't you?
09:48no, I did not
09:52actually, I was thinking about taking early retirement
09:54and investing in a small flock of ducks
09:59Carl, it's still time to get our taxes done right
10:02call your brother
10:03Harriet, I don't want to call my-
10:05forget it, Harriet
10:06once Carl has made up his mind
10:08the best thing to do is stand back and watch him fall
10:20man, Urkel, what did you do?
10:22take every piece of equipment in the school?
10:24pretty much, I even brought my projector
10:26so I can show you slides of my hernia surgery
10:31guys, guys, guys, guys, here it is, here it is
10:34the script you've all been waiting for
10:35and if I do say so myself, it is hip to the bones
10:39listen, fade in
10:40a thick layer of fog rolls in
10:43surrounding a silhouette of the band
10:45we fade to the keyboards
10:46Aunt Rachel, Aunt Rachel
10:48where are we going to get a thick layer of fog from?
10:51dry ice and a wind machine
10:52I know a place downtown where we can rent everything
10:56I hate to disappoint you, but our budget is only $20
10:59uh oh, I already spent that on videotaping cheese
11:06so that leaves me with a budget of nothing
11:09well, I can work with that
11:10I'll have to make a few changes, cut a few corners
11:12I guess the camels are out
11:19you guys, um, we're gonna forget about the script
11:22we'll just wing it, okay?
11:23great!
11:24hey, Urkel, you gotta get shots of my killer keyboard solo
11:27be sure to get a close-up of me twirling my sticks
11:30I love your ideas, guys, really, really
11:32uh, why don't you take five and think up some more
11:35Steve, can I talk to you for a second, please?
11:41amateurs
11:42I know, you wanna hear some of my ideas
11:44no
11:45here's how the video's gonna go
11:47you're starting a shot of me
11:49then you cut to an extreme close-up of me
11:51then when I go into my dance
11:52you cut to a close-up of my feet
11:54then you tilt up to include my hips
11:57then you cut to a close-up of my face
11:59is it just me, or am I detecting a theme here?
12:04I don't know if the other guy's gonna like this
12:06forget about them
12:08I'm the money
12:09if this band is going anyplace, it's because of my talent
12:12whatever you say
12:14this is gonna be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck
12:28hey, what are we watching?
12:30my video on Rachel
12:32it's all finished
12:33what? you shot it already?
12:35I'm still working on the script
12:37well, we decided to go a different direction
12:40um, we'll use your ideas in the next video
12:44turn it up
12:45I wanna feel the face in my face
12:54my name is Eddie, I'm a hip, cool guy
12:56the girls come a runnin' when I get in my eye
12:59my name is Eddie and I'm headed for fame
13:01party in front is the name of my gang
13:12I am the wind of the low king
13:15uh
13:16so come all you girls
13:19and hear me sing
13:21cause I'm the new king
13:27I can't believe it
13:29me either
13:30man, this video is more than cool
13:32it's height
13:33no, it's depth
13:34man, this is super bad
13:37you got the bad part, right?
13:42Urko, what were you doing?
13:44the camera was on Eddie the whole time
13:47uh, you wanna feel this one big guy?
13:52all you could see was my right foot
13:54at least you were in it
13:57Urko, you screwed up big
13:59hey, I was just following Eddie's instructions
14:04exactly what were Eddie's instructions?
14:07to keep the camera on him
14:08and forget about the other meatheads
14:10oh, what?
14:12uh, his worst, not mine
14:15Eddie, you got an attitude problem, man
14:18I'm walking
14:21I'm walking, too
14:23can, uh, you give me a lift?
14:28oh, oh, oh, fine
14:29go ahead
14:31we're better off without them
14:32their egos were getting way out of control
14:37no, you're the one who's getting out of control, man
14:40it's supposed to be a band
14:41not a one-man show
14:43I quit
14:47what?
14:48what's wrong with them?
14:49the video was great
14:51you liked it, didn't you, Laura?
14:52they're stuck
14:55on ice
14:59well, no, you're just jealous
15:01cause you weren't in it
15:03no one was in it
15:04except you
15:06you can't blame them for walking, Eddie
15:08that wasn't a rock video
15:10that was a love letter to Eddie Winslow
15:12no, from Eddie Winslow
15:15like they say
15:16if it ain't on the page
15:18it ain't on the stage
15:23what did you think, grandma?
15:28Eddie
15:29you know I love you
15:31and I'd never say anything to hurt you
15:34goodnight
15:48okay
15:49now
15:51all I do
15:52is subtract line 17
15:53from line 11
15:57there
15:57our taxes are done
16:00we only owe the government
16:02$94,000
16:07aye
16:09how are our taxes coming?
16:11Harriet, it is a disaster
16:13we have hit bottom
16:15you would not believe
16:16how much money
16:17we owe the government
16:19Carol, you've suffered enough
16:21we've all suffered enough
16:23here
16:24but what is this?
16:26our taxes
16:26I went back to your brother
16:31after I specifically asked you not to?
16:35uh huh
16:37how could you do this to me, Harriet?
16:40how?
16:41Carol, we're getting a $700 refund
16:44oh thank you, thank you
16:45thank you, thank you
16:47thank you, thank you
16:48thank you, thank you
17:06uh
17:07uh
17:07Steve
17:09could we be alone?
17:11sure
17:11Eddie, would you mind stepping outside for a second, please?
17:18no, Steve
17:19I meant I'd like to be alone with Eddie
17:22oh, I get it
17:24a father and son moment
17:26I'll just tiptoe out
17:35really, I'm fine
17:37really, I'm fine
17:38really, I'm fine
17:43really, I'm fine
17:53don't worry
17:54he's just a scratch
17:55don't worry, he's just a scratch
17:55ah!
18:07really blew it, huh, dad
18:10well, bogging the spotlight like you did wasn't exactly the best thing you could do
18:15but I'm the lead singer
18:17I mean, I did write the song
18:20well, son
18:21that may be true
18:23but being in a band is a group effort
18:25and that means everyone is included
18:27even though it was your song
18:30you know, when a man decides to go on a legal trip
18:33he usually ends up traveling alone
18:37so what should I do now?
18:40well, apologizing to Rodney and the rest of the guys would be nice for starters
18:44that's a good idea
18:45and who knows
18:47maybe you can even resurrect your band
18:50you know, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him
18:57so much for my career as a rockstar
19:02well, son
19:04we all make mistakes
19:06the important thing is that we learn from them
19:10thanks, dad
19:13excuse me
19:14excuse me
19:15I forgot my tripod
19:17just keep bonding, keep bonding
19:22you won't even know I'm here
19:32oops
19:43does Eddie still have an attitude about missing that video game?
19:47yeah, mama
19:48he's still a man without a band
19:51major bummer
19:54but you know, I've been thinking
19:56with the talent that we have in this room
19:58we could all pitch in and help Eddie make a new video
20:00we might even still have time to enter the contest
20:02that's a good idea
20:04you know, it could be lots of fun
20:05and who knows, we might win a thousand dollars
20:08I'm in
20:09sounds good to be
20:12Rachel, what about you?
20:14I don't know
20:16Eddie's very difficult to work with
20:20Eddie, I'm glad you're here
20:23son, what do you say about the whole family making a video?
20:28okay
20:28but only on one condition
20:31see, what did I tell you?
20:34I want out Rachel to rewrite the lyrics
20:38I'd be happy to
20:39I love working with this guy
20:56wouldn't it be great if we finished in the top five?
20:58are you kidding?
20:59we're gonna win this thing
21:00we got this puppy locked up
21:03and that was our second place finisher
21:05the Toxic Argyles from Whitefish Bay
21:09well, this is it
21:10they're down to the number one video
21:13mom, we don't have a chance
21:14all the finalists have been heavy metal
21:16aw, look guys, who cares if we didn't win?
21:19the point is, we did it as a family and we all had fun
21:24and now, our grand prize winner
21:26a thousand dollars goes to
21:28the Rappin' Winslows
21:38one, two, three, four
21:40if you're thinking you'd like to be a rap star
21:48I got a personal tip that'll help you get far
21:50and listen to your friends and family too
21:52cause they're the ones that really care about you
21:55let us thank our lucky stars
22:00for the love we share each day
22:16now, I'm the dad, I make all this happen
22:18Harriet, I'm sick and tired of all of this ratchet
22:20aw, honey, hold on
22:22let Harriet see he's gonna be a bitch star
22:24and buy us everything
22:36so when you got a problem that's complicated
22:39follow my tip and never be deflated
22:41no matter how hip or slick or cool
22:43listen to your family, don't be a fool
22:48let us thank our lucky stars
22:50that God has blessed our day
22:55we are a family
22:59we do things together, not separately
23:04we are a family
23:08we share what we've got
23:10and that's easy to see
23:13cause we are a family
23:44we'll be fighting for
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