00:00New summer life hack, Chuck. Combine America's favorite pick-me-up from 5-Hour Energy Firework Freeze
00:05and America's favorite frozen drink.
00:07That sounds great. I can't wait to try it.
00:10Where's your Slurpee, Chuck?
00:11Oh, I'll take care of that.
00:13Ugh, you can have it.
00:23For different reasons.
00:24Yeah.
00:25What?
00:27What?
00:27Nothing.
00:28You wanted to talk about your boner a bit.
00:30No, he doesn't.
00:31Not his.
00:31What do you want to talk about?
00:33I injured myself.
00:38You broke your dick?
00:39What?
00:41I don't know what happened, you guys.
00:43But I...
00:44It's black and blue.
00:46No, you broke it!
00:49You're sitting here with a black and blue penis?
00:51You are broken?
00:52And like, Amber!
00:54What have you done?
00:56Or whoever else it was.
00:58Okay, don't...
00:59Are you kidding?
00:59Random other woman.
01:01Stop it.
01:02Uh-oh.
01:03Oh!
01:03The swinger theories are continuing.
01:05Oh, the swinger life.
01:06There's no swinger involved here.
01:07Wait.
01:07It wasn't like a pop, it was pain, but the black and blue, the bruising that's occurred?
01:13Oh, that's...
01:14No, you had a...
01:15No, that's bad, dude.
01:16Like, it's in part of my scrotum, dude.
01:18Can we see?
01:19Go to the doctor.
01:20What are you doing?
01:20Have you been to the doctor?
01:21No.
01:22What are you doing?
01:23You're telling me to go get my eyes checked and your penis is black and blue?
01:26Oh, my God!
01:27I think we gotta see it, Dave.
01:29Oh, my God!
01:32What?
01:33Amber!
01:34Stop it.
01:34Don't say your name.
01:36Were you trying something new?
01:40You know how she likes it.
01:41Okay.
01:42That's enough.
01:43I'm not talking about her.
01:45I am.
01:48She rides it.
01:49Okay.
01:50My God.
01:51Oh, no.
01:52That is too much.
01:53This is why I didn't want to talk about it.
01:55I've been dealing with it for days.
01:57I'm really surprised.
01:58It's been days that bruising has just gotten worse.
02:01Go to the doctor, dude.
02:03Oh, my God!
02:04It's broken.
02:05It's not broken.
02:06It feels actually okay now.
02:09But the bruising is shocking.
02:12Did it feel like pain in the middle of the shaft?
02:18Yes.
02:19Yeah.
02:19Yeah, we've heard countless stories.
02:23No pop?
02:24You could get Peyronie's disease from this.
02:26Yeah, you can.
02:27Yeah, you'll get the curve.
02:28You want the banana?
02:29No, I don't want the banana.
02:31Go to the doctor.
02:32Do you put a cold pack on it?
02:33They say to do that.
02:35A cold pack?
02:35Like, right away, though, right?
02:37Yeah, right away.
02:37It's too late.
02:38It's been three days.
02:3924 to 48 hours.
02:41You might have to scope it.
02:42Yeah.
02:42Stop it.
02:43Well, that's what you get for poking fun of my scopes.
02:46You're going to be peeing on two men in no time.
02:48You're going to be peeing on two men in no time.
02:49Yeah.
02:51No.
02:52It happens.
02:53Go to the doctor, man.
02:54Please.
02:55I'll tell you this right now.
02:56I promise you guys this right now.
02:57Now, if I break my penis, I'm not talking about it on the radio.
03:01I am not.
03:02Yeah.
03:03I promise you.
03:03I didn't want to.
03:04That's a big mistake.
03:05I always regret.
03:07Why?
03:07It's okay.
03:08Because you're sharing.
03:08I thought, okay, I'll share.
03:11But it was shocking.
03:12The bruising is shocking.
03:13Go to the doctor.
03:14Well, no, because today going into my scrotum, because it's just blood is leaking out of
03:19that thing that fills up.
03:22That's what pops.
03:23It's the little sack that fills with blood that gives you a boner.
03:29It is leaking and the blood is pouring down into your scrotum.
03:35Also, blood always travels down.
03:37Even if you get punched in the eye, the bruising will go down your cheek.
03:42That's a natural thing.
03:43Yeah.
03:45Have you looked?
03:46Have you looked it up?
03:47What, Lisa?
03:48What?
03:48Lisa.
03:49Bruising that spreads from the penis into the scrotum is a serious medical concern that
03:52requires immediate evaluation in an emergency room.
03:55You got to go to the emergency room right now.
03:59Lisa.
04:00Amber.
04:01Amber.
04:02Stop it.
04:03Settle down, lady.
04:05God, I know it's nine, but just relax.
04:08Okay, enough.
04:09Enough.
04:09What were you doing?
04:11What position are you guys in?
04:14Are you peeing okay?
04:15Are you peeing okay?
04:15He must have saw that pile driver and got it after him.
04:18He gave that pile driver a whirl.
04:20Or that scissor thing we were talking about.
04:24Oh, you have to go to the ER.
04:26Yeah, no, it's bad.
04:28It's bad because just to make sure.
04:29No, it's bad.
04:30You don't want to lose it.
04:31Dude.
04:32Go evaluate it with an ultrasound check to make sure.
04:34Oh, my God.
04:35Oh, my God.
04:37I mean.
04:38Do not self-medicate.
04:39Don't wait.
04:41Don't wait.
04:42You said it's been days.
04:44Because just because when I put in that it traveled down is when.
04:47Because originally it was like, yeah, no big deal.
04:49Just rest and, you know, you'll be okay.
04:51But when I wrote in it traveled down, that's when they're like, go to the ER.
04:56Yeah, because it's the thing.
04:58It's the boner sack.
05:00You got two of them in there.
05:04He probably popped one of them.
05:07But the pain hasn't been intense.
05:09It's not pain.
05:10It's just a tear.
05:11The pain's over with.
05:14When's the last?
05:14Did you get them?
05:17It says avoid all that.
05:19When'd you fire it up next?
05:20They say to avoid firing it up.
05:22Yeah, because it'll fill with blood and more blood will go down.
05:26You don't want to fire it up right now.
05:28Don't look at this.
05:28You don't have any blood coming out.
05:31No.
05:32No, it's not even in the same spot.
05:35It says even if there's no pain, it still can be serious.
05:41Well, on with the show.
05:43Maybe you were supposed to bring it up so that we could go get it checked out.
05:48This guy, he had things growing in his nuts and he left it for a week.
05:53A twisted.
05:54Yeah, he left that twist for a week.
05:56I know all about Dave's medical condition.
05:58You're telling me to go to the doctor so I don't go blind while you're sitting there.
06:05How embarrassing is that?
06:07Why?
06:08It happens.
06:09It's embarrassing.
06:11It's not the best.
06:12We've all been through embarrassing stuff.
06:15Jason.
06:16Someone out there.
06:18We're talking about my boner right now.
06:20No, but like when you had all the butt.
06:21Oh, peeing on two men.
06:22Oh, yeah.
06:23And I got fingered.
06:24Yeah, the butt stuff.
06:24Yeah, that's the most.
06:26Yeah.
06:27Butt stretched.
06:28Butt stretched.
06:30But we've all been through stuff.
06:31You have to go no matter what.
06:34Listen, someone out there is a professional.
06:37Please text in.
06:38Tell Dave what he needs to do.
06:40Oh, doctors are.
06:41They're also guessing the position.
06:43Okay.
06:45There was no need to mention that.
06:46Name that position.
06:47That's on mine.
06:48You got to email me.
06:50If the blood keeps flowing down to the sack, it can cause an enlarged sack, which can cause
06:54the loss of a testicle.
06:55Dude.
06:56Like, let's wrap it up and go now.
07:00Call an angel.
07:01Should the show go on or should Dave's dick be saved?
07:05So no changes in urination.
07:07Is this show worth your penis?
07:09Firm lumps.
07:11Oh, I don't feel it right now here.
07:14I can't.
07:14What are you doing?
07:15You're looking at me.
07:16Yeah, we are too close this show.
07:18I don't.
07:18I know so much about you.
07:21Delayed onset of pain, but it's been days, so tender to the touch.
07:26Not tender.
07:28Well, we won't be able to know.
07:29I agree with Ryan.
07:31No, we are not doctors in this room.
07:34Yeah, I'm just doing the, you know, Google search AI mode.
07:39Yeah, I'm doing, I'm going to talk right now.
07:42Don't.
07:43Hey, so my buddy was doing something sexually, and all of a sudden he heard something or felt
07:49something, and he didn't want to make it weird and go to the doctor, but he's been having
07:55blood and bruising that was on his shaft and now is in his sack.
08:04Let me just check on that.
08:06Mm-hmm.
08:07Yeah.
08:08If your buddy had a sudden injury during sex and then bruising and blood afterward, that
08:13can be pretty concerning, especially if it's spreading like that.
08:17It can be a penile fracture or a torn blood vessel.
08:21And if there's blood coming out or really bad swelling, that's an ER now situation.
08:27Oh.
08:28I'm curious.
08:28But there's not blood coming out or really now swelling.
08:31Yeah.
08:31Yeah, like I guess it's not really swelling right now, but just the noticeable bruising,
08:37which we all know bruising is just blood traveling.
08:40Mm-hmm.
08:41Right.
08:42And bruising that spreads after a sudden injury is still concerning.
08:45Even without obvious swelling, that kind of bruising can point to a significant injury.
08:51I'd really strongly recommend he get checked today.
08:54Urgent care at minimum.
08:56ER is safest, especially if there's increasing pain.
08:59I think he's fine.
09:00I'm not worried about it.
09:01We got a show to do.
09:04People are calling in and probably texting.
09:07Yeah, they're saying.
09:09Save Dave's dick is trending on the text.
09:11They're saying it's a national monument.
09:14It's a national treasure.
09:16Oh, yeah.
09:16Well, that is nice to know.
09:18If Dave's dick is ruined after this, we should make some kind of statue of it.
09:23You have to go before you lose inches.
09:25Lose inches?
09:27Oh, my God.
09:28Imagine he lost.
09:29He was only six.
09:30Okay.
09:32JR, hi.
09:34Hi, JR.
09:37Hi, JR.
09:38You can't hear us.
09:40Oh, son of a bitch.
09:42I can barely hear you.
09:43Hang on.
09:44Okay.
09:45Oh, something playing.
09:46That's why we barely take calls.
09:47Hi.
09:48Hey, go ahead.
09:51No, I called in a couple years ago.
09:54Fractured penis.
09:55You've got to get to a doctor right away.
09:56Oh, yeah.
09:57I knew it.
09:58I knew it.
09:58I don't know why he's playing games with his dong.
10:01I saw two urologists, and it makes a big difference which one you see.
10:07And there's symptoms you described.
10:10There's nothing good down there.
10:12No.
10:13No.
10:13No.
10:14No.
10:14All right, JR.
10:16Thanks, man.
10:16I got a guy.
10:17He was great.
10:18I'm not going to your dick doctor.
10:19That's so weird.
10:20No, but you have to go to the ER because you can't wait for an appointment.
10:23You have to just go and whoever can see you can see you kind of thing.
10:26Oh, I don't know why you're messing around here.
10:29What in the world?
10:30Ultrasound.
10:31What in the world?
10:32They're all probably listening, too.
10:34Oh, I know.
10:34You're going to see it coming from a mile away.
10:36I know.
10:36Hey, here comes Dave!
10:38The nearest hospital.
10:39They'll know.
10:40Yep.
10:40Maybe not.
10:42Let me get a hold of my doctor.
10:44You can just go down the street over here right to the good hospital and get taken care
10:49of real quick.
10:50Please go.
10:51Doc, my buddy broke his dick.
10:53Okay.
10:53All right.
10:54It's not broken.
10:55Please help.
10:57He fractured.
10:57He definitely tore.
10:59You tore a blood vessel in there.
11:00Yeah, but that's what I think.
11:01So it's just a torn blood vessel.
11:02So what's the big deal about that?
11:04I don't know.
11:05Do you think it's no big deal?
11:07I think it's no big deal?
11:08You should probably have looked at it.
11:10If I showed you the bruising, you'd be...
11:11Okay, but that itself is like...
11:15How many days?
11:15It was over the weekend.
11:16So what is it?
11:17Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
11:21If I came in here and said I fractured and had bruising, you'd be telling me to go to
11:24the doctor.
11:25Yeah.
11:26Like immediately, right?
11:26At the same time, like if I was like, dude, it was just a blood vessel thing and then I
11:32followed it up with, but the bruising isn't even that bad, so don't even worry about it.
11:36Then I'd be like, okay.
11:37But then in the next breath, Dave, you're like, if you saw the bruising, you would be absolutely
11:43shocked.
11:43It wasn't that bad at first, but it has gotten worse.
11:46Well, that is everything you need to say!
11:50And you always say you shouldn't be embarrassed about these things.
11:53No, I know, but it's different one anyway.
11:54Go whip it out!
11:56This is your god.
11:57I understand.
11:57This is your dude.
11:59This is your moneymaker.
12:02God.
12:02I went to get checked.
12:04I know you did.
12:05For just a double stream.
12:07Let alone whatever you're talking about.
12:09Oh my goodness.
12:11Amber!
12:12Stop it.
12:13Stop saying that.
12:13She should have to go with you.
12:19Settle down!
12:21God, you guys are older.
12:25Relax!
12:28That's enough.
12:29Does she know about it?
12:31Wait until you're in AARP to mark it.
12:33I've been having her inspected every day.
12:35She's not encouraging you to go to the doctor.
12:39The hospital?
12:40You gotta go to the hospital.
12:41Well, she knows.
12:42I mean, she, you're, you know, once you're a breaker, you're a breaker, you know?
12:49Man, what a...
12:50Okay.
12:51Shocking.
12:51These are stupids for me to mention.
12:53No, it wasn't because you're gonna break your...
12:56It's gonna go away.
12:58You're gonna have a banana down there.
13:02You don't want it to heal.
13:03No.
13:04You gotta...
13:05Because that's what happens, right?
13:07Some of these guys, they have an injury, and then they allow it to, like, heal in a weird way.
13:11And then they're crooked.
13:13Yeah, they say in here that that's a possibility, that curved.
13:16You see my pinky?
13:18Oh, that one's curved?
13:19Yeah.
13:20Yeah, never got a fix.
13:22Risk of future erectile dysfunction.
13:25Okay, fine.
13:26I got the CELs for ya.
13:27Okay.
13:29He's blind!
13:30He's blind!
13:32He doesn't care!
13:33He's blind!
13:35He don't care.
13:36What a roundabout way.
13:37Holy crap, this has been a nuts show already.
13:41We got a lot longer to go.
13:43We're here until 11.
13:44Okay, all right.
13:50Dave!
13:51I can't believe I have to go to the hospital for this.
13:53You do.
13:53You do.
13:54Absolutely.
13:55You're not the only one, man.
13:56Oh, my God.
13:57People are texting me now.
13:58Quiet.
13:59You could have just went in discreetly, maybe.
14:02Privately?
14:02Friends.
14:03Oh, jeez.
14:04Oh, my God.
14:06You're friends.
14:07This is your community.
14:07Amber!
14:08Okay, all right.
14:13Interesting dinner conversation.
14:15Oh, my God.
14:16Everyone knows.
14:17Stop it.
14:18Oh, my God.
14:19This is why I should never have talked about it.
14:20It's gonna be all right.
14:22I'm gonna check in with the poll.
14:23I'm gonna make a poll right now.
14:24I should probably have a poll.
14:26Let's get on X.
14:29And I should do a poll.
14:32Where?
14:32You never think it's gonna be you.
14:34And then it's you.
14:35And now it's this.
14:36There you go.
14:36That's right.
14:38Mm.
14:39Man, how do you do a poll?
14:42Fine, I'll go.
14:44Not right now.
14:44After the show, I'll go.
14:45Oh, my God.
14:48You have to wait.
14:49We got something else we gotta do.
14:51Yep.
14:51Dave, right now, our entire office is praying for your dong.
14:54Oh, my God.
14:54Oh, yeah.
14:55That's nice.
14:56It needs it.
14:56It needs the prayers, so.
14:58Let's all join together.
14:59Yeah, let's take a minute.
15:01The closest one we have is great.
15:02You'll be fine over here.
15:05Dear Heavenly Father, please save Dave's day.
15:09I want to see if I can see a picture of anything that looks similar.
15:12Oh, you don't want to do this, Dave.
15:14Oh, my God.
15:15Oh, my God.
15:15Oh, my God.
15:15It's nothing like that.
15:16It's nothing like that.
15:17Oh, my God.
15:18Oh, my God.
15:18Oh, my God.
15:19Oh, my God.
15:20Oh, my God.
15:20Oh, my God.
15:21Oh, my God.
15:21Oh, my God.
15:21I mean, you didn't do.
15:22You didn't like.
15:23It's nowhere near like that.
15:25Oh, my God.
15:26Oh, my God.
15:26No.
15:27In a motorcycle accident.
15:29Maybe a little like that.
15:31A little darker.
15:34If I had a hammer.
15:35What does it say?
15:36I had a hammer in the morning.
15:39Straight balls.
15:40I think you got worse bruising than that, and you know it.
15:43I do.
15:49Oh, no.
15:49How do I do a poll?
15:51What?
15:52Don't do a poll.
15:53Don't.
15:54So, come on, man.
15:55Support your brother.
15:58Just tell us.
15:59Injured, Dave.
16:00Just tell us so we can all try.
16:07Yeah, I mean, if this is what happens when my kids get older,
16:10and get out of the house, I'm kind of pumped for it.
16:12They're still in the house, his kids.
16:15Oh, yeah.
16:15His kids still live there.
16:17They're barely around.
16:19They don't stop nothing.
16:21Both of them are there right now.
16:24Yeah, the future's bright.
16:26Okay.
16:28I don't want to look at the text messages anymore.
16:30Well, how are we not going to look at text?
16:32People are just scared for you.
16:35That's all.
16:37People have been through it.
16:37They're scared for you.
16:39Don't.
16:40Don't.
16:41What?
16:41Don't.
16:42Oh, no.
16:42I'm not clicking on that image.
16:43I don't know what it is, but I'm not clicking on it.
16:45It's open.
16:45Is that what it looks like?
16:47You need to click on it.
16:48No.
16:49Is this what it looks like?
16:52Is it horrible, Jason?
16:53I'm not.
16:55It's not great.
16:57If that's what it looks like, man, I don't know what you're doing here.
16:59We can't see it.
17:00No, it's not that bad.
17:01Okay.
17:01Jesus.
17:02That's all the way up to his belly button.
17:06Is that that man?
17:07Is this the listener?
17:08Is this the listener's dick?
17:09He really wants you to know.
17:11Jesus.
17:12He's trying to help.
17:13The guy who just called that we talked to?
17:16Yeah.
17:17That guy just said it was a full fruzzle, man.
17:19He's ready.
17:20He's ready to help.
17:22Dear Heavenly Father.
17:23There.
17:24Please.
17:26You want to see, Lise?
17:27No, I'm good.
17:28I don't need to see.
17:29Okay, but so you have just the downward.
17:32I have that.
17:34Like in the sack?
17:36And the shaft.
17:38Oh, yeah.
17:38It still says, like, it doesn't matter.
17:40No, it's not good, dude.
17:41That's not good.
17:42You might be lucky that it's kind of small, but it's still a, it still is that kind of injury.
17:51And maybe it's not serious, but to have it, they have to tell you, like, hey, don't worry.
17:56And then that's great.
17:57But right now, you don't know.
17:59This is like everything we talk about that's so embarrassing.
18:01I've got to go, and I've got to go to a desk and tell Lise what happens.
18:05Much easier.
18:06And talk about my dick and balls.
18:08Yeah, and then they've got to touch it and ultrasound it.
18:10I can help.
18:10I'll go.
18:12You're not coming with me.
18:13My friend's penis is broken.
18:15He broke it.
18:16His wife broke it sexually.
18:19I hate him.
18:20Can I tell you?
18:22You're a close second.
18:27I'm honored.
18:28Amber!
18:29That's enough.
18:30Don't say her name.
18:31When you go to the ER, do you have to tell them what you, like, can you write it down?
18:36Can I pass them a note?
18:37You can just say, yeah, I mean, I would pass them a note.
18:40Just say you have an injury.
18:42And then you can wait until you tell the doctor.
18:43You can't just say you have an injury.
18:45You have to know what it is.
18:46You have a penis injury.
18:47Mergent, are you worse?
18:48Does it need immediate attention?
18:49No, it is true.
18:50No, it doesn't.
18:50You're just standing in a line, and you do.
18:52You just say it out loud right in front of everybody.
18:55It is what you do.
18:56Own it.
18:58Yeah, man.
18:58You're still having sex, dude.
19:00Doing better than me.
19:01For now.
19:05I don't know if everybody heard, but I broke my penis having sex.
19:09Yeah.
19:09So everybody knows I was having sex.
19:13I don't know.
19:15Everything's fine.
19:16Everything's going to work out.
19:17This was stupid.
19:18Why?
19:19It was stupid.
19:20You would have kept it quiet.
19:21No, dude.
19:21You can't just live with that and then let anything happen down there.
19:26What's crazy is people are saying this, and this is true.
19:28Chuck hasn't been this happy in years.
19:30That's crazy.
19:32Yet true.
19:33Yet true.
19:35That's crazy.
19:35I am extremely worried for Amber.
19:38It says that you can write it down and give it to them.
19:42You don't have to say it out loud.
19:43I broke my dick and it's bruised.
19:45Can you help me?
19:46They're going to think I'm a pervert.
19:48Hand the intake or triage nurse a piece of paper.
19:51Show them or a note on your phone.
19:53See it all the time.
19:54My friend's a little nervous to go to the doctor and say what's wrong with him in front
19:59of everyone.
20:00If he was going to write something out, what should he write out?
20:05Let me check real quick.
20:06Honestly, he doesn't have to say it all out loud in the waiting room.
20:10It's totally fine to hand over a written note or just type it in his phone and show it.
20:15Doctors see that kind of thing all the time.
20:17Something simple like I had an injury during sex a few days ago.
20:20I felt a pop or tear sensation and since then there's been bruising on the shaft that
20:26spread into the scrotum.
20:27That's real easy to say.
20:28That's clear enough and it saves him having to say it all out loud.
20:33He said it all out loud on a massive radio show.
20:37That's true.
20:37That's true.
20:38You have no problem.
20:39How many people listen?
20:41Okay, well, then he's already done the hardest part, right?
20:45Okay, all right, okay.
20:46All right.
20:47She knows.
20:47Sounds like nerves are running high, but even so, this is still one of those just let a
20:54clinician actually check at things.
20:56I agree.
20:56Thank you so much.
21:01Jason, you love that this is not about you finally and something focused on Dave.
21:06I'm not happy about it.
21:07I know, of course not.
21:08This is a huge fear of mine.
21:10It's a huge fear of mine.
21:11I'm not happy.
21:12I don't want anything to happen to your guy.
21:15No, man.
21:16You just, I mean, it's so scary.
21:18I peed on two men.
21:20I was fingered.
21:21Yeah.
21:22Right?
21:22Stretched.
21:23I was stretched by a lady who was not my wife.
21:26Anally stretched.
21:27Yeah, so it, you know, it happens.
21:30I'll just say I've got an ouchie on my baby.
21:32No.
21:32Just say I've been playing for me all night.
21:37Oh, man.
21:38I hope you finished.
21:40Sexual injury is embarrassing, though.
21:42It is, Lisa, right?
21:43Yeah.
21:44It is terrible.
21:45It's stupid, but it is.
21:46But the health is more important than anything, so.
21:49I shouldn't have told you.
21:50He almost didn't.
21:51He almost said, never mind, never mind.
21:53But then I knew every time people say that, they always tell.
21:56Yeah.
21:57Well, we wouldn't have let it go.
21:58Yeah.
21:59Like, what's up?
22:02We're going to take a break.
22:03Okay.
22:03Okay.
22:04Yeah.
22:05No, it's just normal time to take a break, just so everyone knows.
22:10We're going to take a break.
22:10We're going to take a break.
22:12We're going to take a break.
22:12We're going to take a break.
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