Bidets and Butt Wiping

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about bidets this morning after a doctor reported that using toilet paper could cause some health issues.

Transcript

00:00doctors are urging us to stop using toilet paper I've stopped already doctors say though wiping

00:12with toilet paper alone is really an ineffectual way of cleaning ourselves you are possibly leaving

00:19feces behind yes and then excessive use could even lead to health issues like anal fissures

00:25and urinary tract infections so he's saying alone meaning you should incorporate some other

00:30techniques get some wipes no they're saying we should be using wipes wipes man we should have

00:35wipes in here we have been a big proponent of ass wipes for a long time their number one is bidets

00:42I have a bidet now I'm in my toilet you know like the fancy kind I've never used a bidet and honestly

00:49it kind of makes me nervous thinking about it I have and it is shocking because like my I have my

00:54pants around my ankles and this blast of water shoots up your butthole yeah and you're supposed

01:00to like kind of wiggle your butt around right and get it out of there I don't know okay I don't know

01:05how do you not get your pants how do you not get your pants away I mean it doesn't splash out of the

01:10toilet oh I've never used an old school bidet yeah so you're you're sitting you're sitting and it's

01:17sealed and but it okay like a wand comes out and shoots up directly out of the b-hole how does it

01:23know right where your butthole is um you can position it yeah there's like a little remote or

01:29something you're like nope there's like front back position you can just move your ass until you

01:35it hits the sweet spot water pressure all of that and then what do you do you hit such a mess with

01:40these things that's what I'm thinking too it's not getting past your ass andy but I feel like the

01:47splash depending on the pressure it's gonna come out under my balls no it's not like it's not like

01:51a fire hose no for god's sake it's not a quarter car wash and like does it go like

01:56it's just a constant stream just one straight stream huh makes me nervous I don't know I just

02:06don't I don't know if it'll do the job yeah I just I need everything probably they said get some

02:12chocolate wipe it on a wooden floor and try and dry it up with dry toilet paper oh there's no

02:17question you'll get chocolate in the cracks that's a weird experiment what are you doing

02:21I definitely have chocolate in the cracks right now don't ask I can tell I don't want to waste

02:26chocolate I know I've got chocolate in the cracks oh god you know um oh god what a horrible thought

02:32and I wish I didn't but what are you supposed to do Chuck's got chocolate in his cracks that's a

02:36dessert I'm gonna pass yeah that's what you say now I just know I'd be nervous to use of a day

02:42I don't think I think I think my time for experimental butthole stuff no I talked about it on the show

02:47years ago when I used it and it was a shocking but you do feel refreshed but it takes a minute

02:52to get used to the whoop I will say this I mean there are times when I've got so much chocolate

02:57in the cracks that I'm like I need to take a shower and it's basically like taking a shower

03:03with just your ass you know I mean I'd love it to shoot some soap on there and then like you know

03:09maybe a bristle brush comes up and gives it up come on a bristle brush your ass yeah you know

03:14like a car wash like a car wash brush one of the nice soft ones no I just don't think if you're if

03:20it's like the pressure of a water fountain is that what it is you can control the pressure so it can

03:25be very light it can be three different it can be soft medium or hard if you need it like a little

03:30bit more but it's not gonna what are you what setting do you like shut up is it like super soaker

03:35I thought you almost got her oh no you like a lot of pressure on your butt

03:40they have like you rascal you are you're a rascal 30 rascal hey I'm opening myself up by talking

03:48about this but I have to because I have one and whatever there's no shame in your game

03:52I love my toilet clean ass up in here I like the grin chuck head as he's the pressure on your butt

04:00I never wanted to poop anywhere more than Lisa Way's house right now it's too bad none of us know

04:06where she lives I know I want to try it out it's in my own personal bathroom so you'll never see it

04:10the guest can't use it Lisa Way's master suite bathroom yeah exactly they use the bidet it's good

04:15and it washes the front bits too right yeah ladies front back okay so what do you like on the front

04:21you like it more powerful and you're able to move it wherever you want that's wild that's wild huh

04:29you're on there all the time just everything's clean I would just sit down on it and just hit

04:34like the Lisa button just to see what she goes through yeah

04:37Lisa let's hold on for

04:42I'm always in the bathroom

04:59sounds refreshing

05:01it's up on my balls a little bit

05:03wow

05:06all right yeah

05:10I see what's happening

05:12Lisa

05:15I don't know

05:16be nervous

05:18I guess most people would for the first time I was definitely for the first time it was an experience

05:23I'd never had before yeah I feel like once water hits my butthole it steams and evaporates

05:28a lot of clouds yeah like dropping it on a hot pan yeah you're

05:33the mirror gets foggy yeah

05:36why is the mirror so foggy

05:39water in my butthole

05:40I'm like dropping water on a hot pan

05:42all of a sudden

05:44I feel like my butthole is like 250 degrees

05:46yeah

05:47celsius

05:48feels like someone just ordered uh

05:50like chicken fajitas

05:52hey

05:52what is that noise

05:54I'll just bidet in my butthole

05:55oh okay

05:56it's 300 degrees celsius

05:57nope my butthole's got the temperature of a star

06:01oh wow

06:04that is

06:05hot

06:07a lot of questions

06:08I need to go to like home depot or something and talk to these

06:11Andy

06:11be like

06:12oh

06:12that's my butthole sizzle

06:14see the water hits it

06:15and it's like a hot pan back there

06:18my butthole runs hot

06:19I mean it is hot

06:21it sounds hot

06:21yeah it is

06:22you could cook fajitas between my cheeks

06:24all right

06:26so bad

06:27Andy's ass fajitas

06:29that's why

06:31a lot of questions

06:32hot

06:36You

06:36can talk to them

06:37you

06:40I

06:41can talk to them

06:43butthole is

06:44I

06:45can't talk to them

06:46to the

06:47island

06:49that probably

06:50could

06:51even

06:51make

06:53nan

06:53out

06:54and

06:54I

06:55can

06:56thank

06:58you

06:58I

06:59didn't

07:00use

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