Slanted Toilets

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a new slanted toilet that businesses are installing to limit employee bathroom time and they aren't convinced it's going to work well for everyone who has to use them.

Transcript

00:00there's a big problem for companies around the world and it involves our phones people

00:11employees at a lot of companies are spending so much time on their phones in the toilet

00:17that it's cutting into productivity across the world yeah okay you're wasting time on your phone

00:23in the toilet and you're not actually doing work so several companies are working on ways to change

00:29this and there's one leading the way a company called standard toilet is now selling to big

00:37companies a new type of toilet with a seat that slants you forward to prevent you from taking

00:44longer than necessary bathroom breaks so like i'm sliding off the whole time it's on a 13 degree

00:49slope what so your weight is on your legs and you literally can't sit there for too long oh so you're

00:56always sort of squatting we put uh these images up at daveandchuckthefreak.com a link to the story

01:01where they talk about it but here's uh here's what it looks like but that's the design wow i'd be in

01:07incredible shape before too long dude you're gonna have fat people just pooping everywhere with that

01:14sliding right off it sliding right off you know well because it happened again

01:19well there are some people right that like for me i'm i like not that i'm anything close to one

01:41but i at least i poop like a marine i like sit down and do it and i'm done you know like

01:47i can do that but like james you'll say that you gotta warm up the you gotta warm up the engine

01:55i need some time to get that dirt out of there five minutes be enough for you you think james well

02:03when i'm at work too i try to be a little bit quicker like i try to get within like the seven

02:07minute mark yeah yeah i try to do it within seven minutes but when i'm at home that's i'm i'll take

02:12my sweet ass time yeah i could do 20 30 minutes no problem jesus that's a long time but i uh like

02:18a lot of high scores on candy crush not right not all poops are equal no they're not some are quick

02:24summer summer real struggle summer a bitch yeah summer a real bitch of a thing they do claim it is

02:31better for your posture and puts you in a better position to do your business but even if that's true

02:36their main selling point is get people back to work as soon as possible

02:40i just picture shaky legs fat people just like

02:43trying to wipe

02:58they keep slipping they keep slipping people are gonna pull muscles you want them on the floor

03:08oh yeah you'll find them big people on the floor hands around their ankles they're gonna pull

03:12things like that poop streak on my back

03:15sorry i pooped all over myself

03:21what the hell we did

03:22it's giving way

03:27it's giving way

03:29you think this is bad they've had some employers even say listen we need it worse than that so they

03:35are working on one with a 35 degree tilt

03:38so you're almost standing they're gonna have to have a big person belt that you put on

03:43i'm not i'm not you're gonna strap yourself i'm not kidding

03:47that'll defeat the purpose of getting you out of there

03:49well no because it'll still be super uncomfortable

03:52or then you'll just rip the whole toilet out of the wall

03:54well it'll be

03:55my idea

03:57is the straps up here

03:59okay chuck let's see how you do it

04:03you sit on

04:04yeah

04:04strap yourself in

04:06and then you

04:08like you're riding a roller coaster

04:11and then that stops me and i'm like

04:14top thrill poopster

04:16it gives me the extra couple minutes i need

04:19i don't want to have to strap myself in to

04:24listen

04:24if you don't think that bigger

04:26a bigger guy

04:28or a bigger lady

04:29is gonna have some kind of adverse effect on that toilet

04:33it's gonna be bad dude

04:34god grant me the strength

04:36that's a lawsuit

04:37that's a lawsuit waiting to happen

04:39they'll have to have a handicap

04:40jesus

04:41grant me the strength

04:43you know what i'm just thinking of

04:44what's that

04:45that kid

04:46he's

04:47you know where he slides down the strap

04:49on that ride

04:50that's a roller coaster

04:51janice

04:51help me janice

04:52help me janice

04:54help me janice

04:55janice

04:56it's exactly the strap you're gonna need

04:59this strap

05:00but it saves you

05:01yeah this is every fat person on those toilets

05:05this is me

05:05yeah

05:06on the toilet

05:07there's no stopping a kid

05:14janice is the boss

05:15strap worked as intended

05:20that kid thinks he's gonna die

05:26that's exactly how i felt on the star

05:28or the star's dot drop

05:30or whatever it was called

05:31but that's a toilet

05:32that's gonna be the toilet to the future

05:34man that thing's got him right by his titties

05:35help me james

05:38help me

05:38you'll hear people screaming from the john

05:41big people will be screaming from the john

05:43you're gonna have to cut me out of it

05:44i'll be screaming for james

05:52help me james

05:54help me james

05:55i'm coming to you

05:56are you stuck in the straps

05:57i'm sure i'm wrapped up

05:58oh god

05:59i'm flattened

06:00gotta go get my car emergency escape thing

06:02strap cutters

06:03yeah

06:04i slid down and folded up like an accordion

06:06thanks for that

06:07oh my weight came crashing down

06:10a lot of poop

06:12my legs ended up behind me

06:13i slid down

06:14i slid down

06:15i slid down

06:16i slid down

06:17i slid down

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