- 3 hours ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an update with fart police mix-up. And from there, they cover onion rings, being called a butterfly, singing Crazy Town and Limp Bizkit, and more! It's hard for us to even follow most of the time!
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00:00Chuck, what are you doing now?
00:01I've been meaning to start a letter campaign to bring back Pumpkin Spice 5-Hour Energy.
00:07Save your ink! It's already back!
00:10You're welcome.
00:11But you didn't do anything!
00:13Didn't I?
00:21Uh, update on the fart police story.
00:25Remember this one from a couple of weeks ago?
00:27I don't.
00:30Let's see how many, no.
00:31Let's see how many things we don't remember.
00:34The Mexican dude, he's at a hotel, the cops try to bust in, but they don't speak Spanish well.
00:40Yes, I remember it now.
00:41And they were like, fart police! Fart police!
00:42Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:43I remember now.
00:44The translation was, we are the fart police! Open up!
00:48Yes.
00:49Now I remember.
00:50When they were trying to speak Spanish to him, they screamed out, fart police! Fart the wood!
00:56Yes.
00:57And he was so confused, like,
00:58He's like, fart police!
01:00Fart police!
01:02Well, a Colorado jury just awarded that guy $200,000.
01:07Not too shabby.
01:10After Aurora cops used nonsensical Spanish commands during a SWAT raid.
01:15I mean, you couldn't just have me do it. Like, you don't give me the megaphone and I'm like,
01:20Telemundo! Get on auto!
01:23Get on auto!
01:25You know?
01:26They said,
01:28Pedo policia!
01:29Pedo lumadera!
01:31Oh yeah, pedo.
01:32Pedo's fart.
01:32Which translates to fart police, fart the wood.
01:36What's the best thing about this is that he has a funny story now.
01:39He does.
01:40And a scar.
01:40You know, he got $200,000 for the fart police mix up.
01:45And he can tell all of his friends about it forever.
01:49And that's hilarious.
01:51I mean, so he got paid because that dog bit him though, right?
01:56Well, yeah, they didn't understand.
01:58The whole how it all unfolded.
02:00They found the cop liable for excessive force and another cop liable for malicious prosecution.
02:08He had no connection to what they were there for.
02:11Of course not.
02:11To the raid's actual suspect.
02:13Of course not.
02:15His attorneys said he's pleased with the verdict and the fact that it sets the record straight.
02:20He's actually a Mexican musician.
02:22Wrong guy.
02:22Didn't understand the commands.
02:24What do you want?
02:24Well, it looks like he's holding up his visa or something.
02:27He's like desperately just thinks he's about to get taken.
02:29I think he was holding his passport.
02:30Well, because you think you're getting taken away by the fart police.
02:34Like this is what the ISIS calling themselves?
02:37Fart police?
02:38Hello!
02:39Fart police!
02:40Fart the wood!
02:42You know, he's just holding up his papers.
02:45He's like, I have the papers!
02:46I'm a Mexican musician!
02:48Would you try to fart on like a wooden table if that's what the cops were ordering you to do?
02:53Ah!
02:53Fart the wood!
02:54Probably not.
02:56I do have some wood lying around.
02:59Don't do that if somebody comes to your door and says fart police.
03:02Quick!
03:03Fart the wood!
03:04I would be, listen, you'd be confused even in English.
03:08If someone screamed fart police, fart the wood, and that you know they're outside your door.
03:17Like, oh my God, the fart police are finally here.
03:20Right, because what do they want?
03:22Am I in trouble for farting or do they need me to fart?
03:25Oh, yeah, like I'm almost like Commando, like you're the best in the world at farting.
03:29We need you.
03:30Huh.
03:31We heard you obnoxious farts.
03:33We need to smoke a room out of people.
03:37Give that man some Burger King onion rings.
03:41We're gonna weaponize his ass tonight.
03:43Dude, I could do it.
03:44I could be the James Bond of ass farts.
03:47Of fart police?
03:48He's a negotiator.
03:50Like, don't.
03:50Bring him in to get him up.
03:51He just said he could be the James Bond of ass farts.
03:53Yeah.
03:57By the way, you should probably stay away from Popeyes because they just introduced new Cajun
04:02onion rings.
04:03Here we go.
04:04But are they real onion rings?
04:05James fast food update.
04:07Oh, sorry.
04:07Food update.
04:09I forgot.
04:09I said onion rings.
04:11Advertising.
04:11I've never heard of flavored onion rings before.
04:14Maybe I've just been missing out.
04:15Oh, I think that sometimes they'll put a little something in the batter.
04:18But for the first time since the 90s, Popeyes just brought back Cajun onion rings.
04:23I've never had that chicken from Popeyes.
04:25Never, never?
04:26Never, never.
04:27I had it a little while ago.
04:28I mean, I missed that whole crazy spicy chicken craze because I was like-
04:31Right.
04:32You didn't want to get knifed.
04:33It was pretty good.
04:34And then I just never went back.
04:35It was pretty good.
04:37Cajun onion rings.
04:38I've had a quench.
04:39Oh.
04:39Not the onion rings though.
04:41Yeah.
04:42Those look like real onion rings.
04:43The things that destroy me are simulated onion rings.
04:47Fake ass onion rings.
04:48Fake ass onion rings.
04:49Simulated.
04:50Because Burger King uses like dehydrated onion bits or something, right?
04:54And just pressed into a ring, yeah.
04:56Yeah.
04:56They look like the same breading that the chicken tenders had.
05:01Those are bad.
05:02Those are bad onion rings.
05:03Oh.
05:04Burger King.
05:05Oh.
05:05They got to mix them up.
05:06I love their taste.
05:07Some blogger calls them the best fast food onion rings now.
05:12Huh.
05:13Something's tough.
05:14That's tough.
05:15Let's see them.
05:16I feel like most places stay away from onion rings.
05:19It's just too hard to get them right.
05:21I thought you would have one of your hot ladies reviewing them or something.
05:24Oh.
05:25The lady who doesn't swallow.
05:27Oh.
05:28It's a secret.
05:29Is it?
05:30You told us.
05:31Look at this chick I've been watching eating food.
05:33Yeah.
05:34He's told me about her about seven times.
05:36Okay.
05:37Whatever.
05:38Keep it down, man.
05:39Mariposo.
05:40No.
05:41Shut up.
05:43Mariposo.
05:43Yeah.
05:44It's a butterfly.
05:45Is that your little butterfly?
05:46Yeah.
05:47Maybe that's what he's calling her.
05:48Relax.
05:48That might be what he calls her.
05:50Stop it.
05:51Oh, my little butterfly.
05:52Don't say that.
05:53You're my little butterfly.
05:54That's what they used to call me in the restaurant.
05:58Your little butterfly?
05:59Well, yeah.
05:59It has a different meaning as well.
06:02Oh.
06:02Little delicate butterfly.
06:04Oh.
06:04Think about it.
06:06Hmm.
06:08Gay.
06:12They used to call you that?
06:13What?
06:14Oh, yeah.
06:15The guys in the restaurant.
06:17They used to call you that?
06:18Yeah.
06:18They used to call you that?
06:18They used to call you that?
06:18They used to call me Mariposo.
06:20Oh, wow.
06:21So they were Latin.
06:23Yes.
06:24Oh.
06:24And they were like, look at this little butterfly walking around.
06:28Renee!
06:29Come on!
06:29So you were harassed at every job you've ever had?
06:31Every job you've ever had.
06:32Everywhere.
06:32What the hell?
06:33I mean, my whole life.
06:34Seriously?
06:35I'm the fifth of six kids.
06:37Yeah.
06:38They just terrorized me.
06:39Yeah.
06:39And then I went to that place and I was like the little brother and I got made fun of
06:42there.
06:43You're a little gay fellow.
06:45Yes.
06:46Look at the little gay butterfly.
06:48Yes.
06:49Oh.
06:50You want some cocaine?
06:52Hey!
06:53Little gay butterfly!
06:55You want some cocaine?
06:56Yeah.
06:57He said yeah.
06:58He said yeah.
06:58Just to fit in.
06:59I understand why you would though.
07:01You're trying to get away from it all.
07:04Muddy Pulse.
07:05Yeah.
07:06Wow.
07:06That's so funny.
07:07That unlocked something for him.
07:09It did.
07:10All I know it as is the streamer that Dave watches who doesn't swallow.
07:14Yeah.
07:15You still haven't brought her up eating these rings.
07:17Well, I don't know if she's reviewed.
07:18They just came out.
07:19Oh.
07:20Okay.
07:20Wouldn't you be smart to like give some of those people like a heads up?
07:24All I can think of now is, come my lady.
07:27Come, come my lady.
07:30Oh my God.
07:31Really?
07:32Butterfly.
07:32Butterfly.
07:33I know.
07:34I showed him a video of a lady who has an unfortunate condition where her lip is giant
07:40and fat.
07:41And then all of a sudden, like a little while later, Dave's like, it's all about the he
07:44said, she said.
07:46And then he was like, why am I singing lip biscuit?
07:49And then you realize that the lyric eventually.
07:51Gonna leave you with a fat lip.
07:53Gonna leave you with a fat lip.
07:54Come on, man.
07:54That's a medical disorder.
07:56It is.
07:56It is.
07:57Because I didn't even know how my brain got there.
07:59It just, the words just started coming out of my mouth.
08:02I said to Chuck, I'm like, why am I thinking?
08:03It's all about the he said, she said bull.
08:06Yep.
08:06That's crazy.
08:08How do we go from onion rings to here?
08:09Well, we went from fart police.
08:10I can't keep up.
08:11I mean, right.
08:12Fart police.
08:13Gay butterflies.
08:14Gay butterflies.
08:15Gay butterflies.
08:16Fart police.
08:18Onion rings.
08:19Popeye's new onion rings.
08:21Little gay butterflies.
08:21Little gay butterflies.
08:21I can't move so fast.
08:23Limp biscuit.
08:23The subject matter.
08:24Where are we going?
08:25Little gay butterflies.
08:27Come on, lady.
08:27Come on, lady.
08:28Come on, lady.
08:29Crazy town.
08:30Crazy town.
08:32Crazy town.
08:33Crazy town.
08:34Because he's dead now, right?
08:35Oh, he's dead.
08:36Shifty shill shot.
08:37Yeah, we talked about it.
08:38R.I.P.
08:39You're right.
08:40It is like if someone had though.
08:42It's exhausting.
08:43Honestly, it's exhausting.
08:45Lisa's like, where are we?
08:47How did we get here?
08:49Come, lady.
08:50Come, come, lady.
08:51He just busts out in songs all the time.
08:53I know.
08:54Don't say one word.
08:55I know.
08:55You can't say butterfly.
08:57I know.
08:58Or fat lip.
08:59Or fat lip.
09:00It was just a photo.
09:01It was a photo of it.
09:05You'll be leaving with a fat lip.
09:11But he started singing the song like six verses before that.
09:17He's like, I don't know why these six verses are in my head.
09:22I can't explain.
09:23I can't explain.
09:25No, it doesn't make sense, but it's going on.
09:27It's real.
09:28It's a real thing.
09:28It's just gay butterfly crazy town.
09:30Yep.
09:32Yep.
09:32Yeah.
09:33And apparently Burger King is introducing new onion rings.
09:36Well, honestly, you knew this guy was going to go in there and raise hell, right?
09:41Let's see how we go.
09:44Burger King new onion rings.
09:46With real onion slices replaces the old mince dehydrated onion filling.
09:50So there you go, Chuck.
09:51You can have them now.
09:52I mean, honestly, it's an end of an era.
09:54The worst gas I could ever possibly get.
09:57If you test it out, do it on a weekend.
09:59Please.
10:01Okay.
10:01We don't want to.
10:02We don't trust that.
10:03Take the chance.
10:04I could never, honestly, honestly, I could never, ever have them on a weekday.
10:10No.
10:11And come to work and be okay.
10:12You have once.
10:12I remember you did once and it really did a number on you.
10:15Because you all through the show were like, I gotta go.
10:18Screamed.
10:19Onion rings.
10:19Onion rings.
10:21Damn you.
10:21And he screamed and ran to the bathroom.
10:23No, I mean, honestly, if I had had, you guys don't realize the fight that I was in
10:28to keep you guys safe.
10:30No.
10:31We realize sometimes.
10:32You said you're the James Bond of farting or something.
10:34Yeah, of ass farts.
10:35Ass farts.
10:35No, it's powerful.
10:36This guy said, I cleared an entire room with a fart after a blooming onion.
10:41So Chuck and I could be unstoppable.
10:43I mean, I'm telling you, dude, I could just like, almost like a SWAT team.
10:46I sort of just come around the corner with my ass and pfff, and then get out.
10:50And then everyone in there is down, choking on the air.
10:56Someone said no one could ever figure out the six degrees of Dave and Chuck.
10:59No.
11:00It's insane.
11:01If you were like, fart police, Burger King onion rings, Cajun onion rings.
11:05Try to just be us, and we forget everything instantly.
11:09And then it's like, oh yeah, why did Dave bring up, oh God, what led to that?
11:16Oh no.
11:16We'll never figure it out.
11:18No, I never will.
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