MADtv S04E15

Mad TV

Season 4 Episode 15  madtv reality playboy

Transcript

00:01Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the real Kenny Rogers.

00:22I'm Kenny Rogers and welcome to MADtv.

00:25I'm real pleased that I was invited out here to open up the show tonight.

00:29You know, I know MADtv is supposed to be about, you know, poking fun at people and all that.

00:33All the kids here, they do like real great impressions of celebrities and folks in the news and whatnot.

00:38But the real reason I'm here is because, well, there's this one fellow here who does an impression of me.

00:44And I saw it and it left me a little bit confused. Can we take a look at the clip?

00:51I have both who's here to boom-doom-doom-doom.

00:54Now, honestly, what's that all about?

01:18I mean, aside from the fact that as an impression, it's completely ungrounded in any sort of

01:22reality, why are you picking on me?

01:24I mean, I've been out of the public eye since, like, six-pack two, and you guys are trying

01:29to paint me out to be some crazy alcoholic stroke victim.

01:32That ain't right.

01:33I mean, I don't want to be a wet blanket here, and I do love impressions.

01:37I just don't think you should be making people look like they're crazy, deranged alcoholics.

01:41Cut.

01:42I'm sorry, Kenny.

01:43We have a little problem.

01:44The boom mic is in the shop.

01:45Hey, what the is with this messed up show anyway?

01:49First of all, there's no black sand boot in my dressing room like I asked for.

01:53Then, you guys gave me your bouquet and firearms against the GMJ bullet.

01:58This entire operation is second rate.

02:00Where's my hooch?

02:02Hey, send one drink on my hooch!

02:05I'm sorry, Kenny.

02:06You're absolutely right.

02:07Look, if you'll just bear with us, we'll reset here, and you can take it from deranged alcoholic.

02:12No!

02:13No!

02:14I am not an exact alcoholic!

02:17You guys are trying to paint me out to be some sort of boo-to-heater safe person,

02:22and I ain't gonna take it anymore!

02:24Four...

02:25Three...

02:26Two...

02:27One!

02:28I've been here, everybody!

02:30Enjoy the rest of my fellowship!

02:32See you later!

02:33Yeah, come on!

02:34Yeah, yeah!

02:47Come on!

02:48Come on!

02:49Hey!

02:50You're so!

02:56You're so crazy

03:15You're so crazy

03:19You got me gone

03:26You are now watching the TV

03:33Antonio

03:35Hello

03:36Antonio

03:38The scent that drives men wild

03:42It is possible

03:44It is possible

03:48Once you try Antonio

03:50No way Jose

03:52All things are possible

03:55I have a cat named Cece

03:57Meow

03:59I love you Antonio

04:01Okay

04:03I need you Antonio

04:05Yes

04:07Will you be my Antonio?

04:11I don't know

04:13I can't breathe

04:23Antonio

04:25One whip and you'll be under her spell

04:29Smell me please

04:31Smell me

04:37Antonio

04:38Ooh

04:39That smells bad

04:40Ow

04:41And it burns

04:43Get it off

04:45Get it off

04:53Me

04:55You are me

04:57We now return to the movie channel's special presentation

05:03The Making of the New Star Wars Part 5

05:07The Music

05:09Obi-Wan's got his lights in the rock

05:13We can help the rebels fight the empire

05:17Jedi Knights are ready to fight

05:22In the basic spaces run by Admiral Admar

05:25When George Lucas

05:27When George Lucas first called me up to write a couple of songs for the new Star Wars movie

05:32Man I was tickled pink

05:34Especially when he told me how much he liked the songs I did for A Toy Story and A Bug's Life

05:39But man with all them lasers and phasers and E-Wan

05:43Yeah I love Star Wars boy

05:45Star Wars?

05:47What's Star Wars?

05:49What's Star Wars?

05:51They've had a seven year Star Wars

05:55Did I get to see any of the movie?

05:57Uh...

05:59No

06:00But uh

06:01I don't need to see a movie to write a song about it

06:03All it is space

06:05All over the place

06:07Space is the place

06:09For Star Wars

06:11Riding around

06:13But there ain't no ground

06:15No ground around

06:17With no Star Wars

06:21You know uh

06:22I still haven't seen a Bug's Life or a Toy Story

06:24But uh

06:25I don't need to

06:26You know

06:27Writing songs is easy

06:28They just fall out of me

06:29Here watch

06:35Lunch

06:36Hey

06:37Oh Lunch

06:38Hey

06:39Let's all eat a bunch of lunch

06:42I'm hungry

06:44Cause I'm hungry

06:46Hungry for a big ol' juicy lunch

06:49See I don't need to see lunch to write a song about it

06:52It's the same thing with movies

06:53But uh

06:54The best part was when I got to call up some of my friends to help me out

06:58Cause I immediately called up my good buddy Rob Zombie

07:00He's got a great voice in there

07:02You can actually understand what he's singing

07:04So you know

07:05We work well together

07:06This part right here

07:07This is my part

07:08This is my part

07:09This is my part

07:10This is my part

07:11Who's annoyed?

07:12Annoyed

07:13Annoyed

07:15Who's annoyed

07:17Who's annoyed

07:18You can come in and you can sing like this

07:21Who's annoyed?

07:22Adoyed

07:23Adoyed

07:25Adoyed

07:27Adoyed

07:28I've known Randy a long time

07:31So when he called me and told me the money train was in effect

07:35I got right down to the studio

07:37You try it

07:39Who's annoyed

07:41Adoyed

07:42Adoyed

07:43Adoyed

07:44That's good

07:45That's nice

07:46He'd already written like six or seven hundred songs about Star Wars

07:50Then we both sing this part together

07:52Like this

07:54R2D2

07:55R2D2

07:57R2D2

07:58R2D2

07:59R2D2

08:00R3D2

08:01R3D2

08:02R3D2

08:03R3D2

08:04R3D2

08:05R3D2

08:06R3D2

08:07R3D2

08:08R3D2

08:09R3D2

08:10Oh that's good

08:11And you can't blame them

08:12I mean the studios keep throwing money at them

08:15And when you throw that much money some of it's bound to stick

08:18So I'm just here for the overspread

08:21I mean really Randy hasn't written an original song since Short People

08:26And that was a great song

08:28I mean really somebody had to take those midget bastards down a few pegs

08:33I guess people misunderstood me

08:36You know I wasn't joking

08:37Short people really do got no reason to live

08:40You know they don't

08:41But I do love L.A.

08:43I think I'm gonna marry L.A.

08:45I think I'm gonna marry L.A.

08:50Whoops here comes the song!

08:52R3D2

08:53R3D2

08:54R3D2

08:55R3D2

08:56R3D2

08:57R3D2

08:58R3D2

08:59R3D2

09:00R3D2

09:01R3D2

09:02R3D2

09:03R3D2

09:04R3D2

09:05R3D2

09:06R3D2

09:07R3D2

09:08R3D2

09:09R3D2

09:10R3D2

09:11R3D2

09:12R3D2

09:13R3D2

09:14R3D2

09:15R3D2

09:16R3D2

09:17R3D2

09:18R3D2

09:19R3D2

09:20R3D2

09:21R3D2

09:22R3D2

09:23R3D2

09:24R3D2

09:25R3D2

09:26R3D2

09:27Solo!

09:33Coming up, Randy Newman's terrifying ordeal with military police

09:36lands him in a Turkish prison for 15 long years

09:39when behind the scenes of the new Star Wars Part 5 The Music

09:42continues on the movie channel.

09:52Thank you for choosing Big Top Circus Burger.

09:55Sonya, would you believe some fool tried to cut me off on the freeway?

10:00I chased his ass for two miles.

10:03She ain't nobody that's on Bonita Latifah, Highly for Sharifah Jackson.

10:06Oh, no, girl, you're crazy.

10:09Hi, welcome to Big Top Circus Burger. May I take your order?

10:11Oh, okay, hang on, I'm getting off. Go ahead, girl.

10:14Uh-huh.

10:16Can I go ahead and just take your order?

10:18Oh, okay, I'm getting off, I'm getting off.

10:20What?

10:21You know, ma'am, what if you step aside and I can take the next guy's order

10:23and then when you're off the phone, you could...

10:25Sonya, Sonya, hang on.

10:27I said I was getting off.

10:30What, you want me to give up my spotlight?

10:32Hell, why don't I pay for his food, too?

10:34In fact, why don't I just give up a person and pay for everybody's food?

10:37You know, I wouldn't mind paying for this fine brother.

10:39Oh, you cute.

10:43I'm in no rush. Why don't you just go ahead?

10:45Oh, oh, oh, so you let me go ahead of you?

10:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

10:48Okay, let me tell you something.

10:49I'm already ahead of you.

10:51And I'm gonna be ahead of you and I'm gonna stay ahead of you

10:53until I ain't ahead of you no more.

10:55So don't even think it's your call to make.

10:57You know, you need to show more respect to a system.

10:59Girl, let me get off this phone before I hurt somebody.

11:04Hi, I'm ready to order.

11:05Oh, oh, would you like to try our new California burger?

11:08It has three...

11:09Oh, oh, okay, wait, wait, wait a minute.

11:10What you doing?

11:11Do you want to...

11:12I said I was ready to order.

11:13You gonna stand here and tell me about a damn California burger?

11:15What, you think I don't know what I want?

11:17I...

11:18You think I don't know what I want?

11:19You know, you people are so quick to sell your little burgers

11:22that you don't even take the time to find out what a customer wants.

11:24You need to slow your roll, all right?

11:29Well, um, point taken, ma'am.

11:31I'll try to slow the roll and, um,

11:33you can order whenever you want.

11:35Go ahead.

11:38California burger sounds good.

11:41Um, doesn't that come with avocado on it?

11:43Because I love avocado.

11:45Yeah, it does.

11:46I love avocado, too.

11:47And you can still keep your figure eating avocado?

11:49Girl, I'm scared of you.

11:52Um, do you want anything else with your burger?

11:54Oh, yeah.

11:55Give me, um, large fries and a vanilla shake with that.

11:58You're bad.

11:59Oh, don't tell me about it.

12:02You know what?

12:03It'd be cheaper if you got the value meal.

12:05You'd save yourself a dollar.

12:08Save a dollar?

12:11What you trying to say?

12:13What are you trying to say?

12:15You think I can't afford a regular meal?

12:17What, you think I'm all welfare because I'm black?

12:19No.

12:20What, you think I'm in a project?

12:21No.

12:22Is that it?

12:23Let me tell you something.

12:24I don't think I'm in a project.

12:25I don't think I do.

12:26I make my own money.

12:27I can afford to buy everything on the menu if I want you so don't start with me.

12:29I'm trying.

12:30I know.

12:31Yes, you are.

12:32I'm watching you start with me.

12:33I wasn't trying to stop.

12:34Why are you crying?

12:35I wasn't trying to stop.

12:36What did I do?

12:37What did I do?

12:38What did I do?

12:39What did I do?

12:40What did I do?

12:41What did I do?

12:42What did I do?

12:43What did I do?

12:44What did I do?

12:45What did I do?

12:46What did I do?

12:47What did I do?

12:48What did I do?

12:49What did I do?

12:50Karen.

12:51Karen.

12:52Karen.

12:53Karen, pull yourself together.

12:54Your line's out the door.

12:55Uh-huh.

12:56Don't you get at home?

12:59Can't you see she is having a hard time?

13:02Where is your compassion?

13:03This is another human being you are talking to.

13:05And if you don't have respect for that, she don't need to be working for you.

13:07In fact, she don't need the sorry ass minimum wage.

13:10I don't.

13:11She quits.

13:12I do?

13:13Oh, you go, girl.

13:14More power to you.

13:15But...

13:16But...

13:17Go on.

13:18Find yourself another flunky.

13:19Alright.

13:20Alright.

13:21Cool.

13:22Fine.

13:23Go.

13:24Come on, girl.

13:25I got your back.

13:26I got your back.

13:27I got your back.

13:28Well...

13:29Sonia.

13:30Miss...

13:31Miss...

13:32Miss...

13:33Miss Bonif...

13:34Miss Bonif...

13:35Miss Bonif...

13:36What?

13:37What do I do now?

13:39What the hell I look like?

13:40The Psychic Hotline?

13:41Shoot!

13:42Just cause I'm black don't mean I'm Dion Warwick!

13:46Sonia.

13:47Girl, this unemployed fool had a nerve death and we're gonna do now!

13:52Well, she's gonna die!

13:53She's gonna die!

13:54She's gonna die!

13:55She's gonna die!

13:56She's gonna die!

13:57She's gonna die!

13:58She's gonna die!

13:59She's gonna die!

14:00She's gonna die!

14:01The WCW U.S. Heavyweight champ, Bret the Hitman Hart!

14:04The Hitman Hart!

14:05The Hitman Hart!

14:06The Hitman Hart!

14:07The Hitman Hart!

14:16Coming from DreamWorks SKG!

14:18A monumental film just in time for the Easter season!

14:22The Hebrews will bow before me, Ramses!

14:26And they will break their backs building pyramids in my name!

14:31Oh, Pharaoh!

14:33I am no man's slave!

14:39It is your people's lot to always be slaves, Moses!

14:43And another thing!

14:44I don't care about that name anymore!

14:46The artist formerly known as the Prince of Egypt!

14:51I have a simple message for you, Pharaoh!

14:54Let my people come!

14:56Don't you mean, let my people go?

14:59Shows what you know!

15:02You and your people will always serve me, Moses!

15:05For I have the power to keep you!

15:07Behold!

15:24Gards!

15:25Seize him!

15:26He's getting funky on my ass!

15:32This movie brings a whole new meaning to the term, burning bush!

15:37Ramses!

15:40Is that you?

15:42Who's there?

15:43I'm here!

15:45Who are you?

15:46I command that you tell me your name!

15:53Well, that's where it gets a little complicated.

15:58Moses!

15:59Moses!

16:00I thought you'd be out performing miracles for your people!

16:03Well, I do have a red cedar pie!

16:06But first...

16:07The first...

16:08Yeah!

16:09Go away!

16:14Hallelujah!

16:15I think I see the farmer's land!

16:16With two new songs and nine rip-offs of old Prince songs, this movie kicks Old Testament ass!

16:24Hallelujah. I think I see the promise, man.

16:29With two new songs and nine rip-offs of old Prince songs, this movie kicks Old Testament ass.

16:36Chosen people, we are gathered here today to talk about this thing called Exodus.

16:42The funky word, Exodus. It means Pharaoh, we about to get the hell up outta here.

16:48If you don't want to, let my people go.

16:57I've got heavenly power, baby, I'm not afraid to show.

17:02The crops won't grow, you'll have bugs and rats.

17:07Frogs in your house, rivers of blood and miles on your house.

17:12We ain't gonna let no peril keep us down, oh no!

17:17Let's leave Egypt, let's go Jews.

17:22We're gonna find our promised land and then just turn us loose.

17:29Take all the sexiest parts of the Bible, then multiply them by two,

17:33and you've got the artist, formerly known as the Prince of Egypt.

17:38Please welcome the new Governor of Minnesota, Jesse the Body Ventura.

17:51Thank you, thank you, thank you.

17:53Let me first start off by saying that I don't want to be referred to as the Body anymore.

17:58You do it again and I'll kill ya.

18:01I'm kidding.

18:06Alright.

18:07I now want to be known simply as Governor.

18:09I don't want anybody alluding to the fact that I am an ex-wrestler.

18:12I am a servant of the people.

18:14And I promise to represent this great state with class and dignity.

18:20Alright.

18:21That being said, I'd like to introduce my new Lieutenant Governor,

18:24the WCW US Heavyweight Champ, Bret the Hitman Hart.

18:29I'd just like to say hey to all the great people in Minnesota.

18:42And any other state that thinks they're better than us is living in a stinkin' dream world.

18:46Excuse me, Governor.

18:48Yeah.

18:49You want us to take you seriously, yet you appoint a wrestler to the second highest position in the state?

18:55Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second.

18:56Are you saying that wrestlers aren't qualified to hold public office?

18:59Well, I...

19:00Yeah, yeah.

19:01Bret, why don't you show this young lady your qualifications?

19:04So you don't think I'm qualified?

19:06Well, I didn't, I didn't say that.

19:08I'm just not sure a wrestler could...

19:11Good.

19:12Because I'd hate to think my people don't trust me.

19:15Yes, I would hate that too.

19:16Alright.

19:17Next question.

19:18Now let's please keep these questions to a political nature.

19:21Right there.

19:23Yes, uh, Governor, I have a question about a statement you made.

19:28You said that you thought prostitution should be legalized.

19:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

19:31I never said that.

19:32Well, but your words were...

19:33No, no, if you're saying that I said I wanted it legalized, then I was misquoted.

19:37Sir, how could you be misquoted if you never said?

19:40The man says he was misquoted, he was misquoted.

19:43Ha, ah!

19:44Maybe you weren't here earlier when the Governor said he wanted to stick to the issues.

19:48Like tactics!

19:49Ah, ah!

19:50Better run!

19:51Ah!

19:52Education!

19:53Ah!

19:54Oh!

19:55Oh!

19:56Well, I have a question.

19:57Uh, Governor, what is your position on senior health care?

20:00I mean, do you even have a position on senior health care?

20:02Brett, why don't you explain to these fine people our position?

20:05Good, because you know the people would really like to know.

20:07Ow, ow, ow!

20:08No, Susan, they call me, man, you hurt me!

20:09Hey, hey, hey!

20:10Don't f*** off me!

20:11Stop!

20:12No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!

20:14Stop!

20:15Stop!

20:16Stop!

20:17What the f***?

20:18What are you doing?

20:19What are you doing?

20:20Go ahead, finish your line.

20:21No, I don't want to...

20:22You stop, what were you going to say?

20:23Just finish your line.

20:24Can we cut this, please?

20:25Let's cut this, let's cut this.

20:26What?

20:27What are you doing?

20:28What?

20:29What?

20:30Just take it easy.

20:31Let's start again.

20:32I'm sorry, David.

20:33Can we start again?

20:34Hang on a second.

20:35Not Vine, but Jack, just your arm.

20:37What?

20:38Oh!

20:39Oh!

20:40Oh, man!

20:41Oh!

20:42Stop!

20:43I'm dizzying!

20:44Hey, hey, hey!

20:45What are you doing?

20:47What are you doing?

20:48Oh!

20:49Oh!

20:50Oh!

20:51Oh!

20:52Give me that.

20:53Oh!

20:54Oh!

20:55Oh!

20:56Oh!

20:57Oh!

20:58Oh!

20:59Let me tell you all you stupid, brain-dead mad TV fans,

21:02the last time I came on this show,

21:05this guy tried to humiliate me.

21:07He tried to pick me up and twirl me around like I was this bitch.

21:11It's not going to happen this time.

21:13You want to be a funny man, Sasso?

21:15No!

21:16Write this into the script.

21:17You want to write things into the script?

21:18No, no, no!

21:19Write this.

21:20Hey, hey, hey, hey!

21:21Stop!

21:22Stop!

21:23Stop!

21:24Stop!

21:25Stop!

21:26Stop!

21:27Stop!

21:28You want to be ableyess!

21:29Hasan was, best there ever will be!

21:31Laugh at that one, Sasso!

21:32Come on, come on, come on, whoa, go!

21:33Wait, wait, wait, alright, come on!

21:34You broke your point!

21:35You broke your point!

21:36Alright?

21:37Don't provoke him.

21:38Matt TV can bite me.

21:39Nope!

21:46Dunshy Damon!

21:50No, no, no, no!

21:51old fantasy team,

21:52Good Betty and...

21:53Teenage Squadron is not allowed...

21:55Honey ...

21:56Well, go easy on my little guy, Dr. Wiswall.

22:04You know, these annual physicals can be real frightening for a small child.

22:09Don't you worry, Mrs. Larkin.

22:11We do our jobs very well.

22:12I'm looking forward to meeting your little boy.

22:15Where is he?

22:15What's taking him so long?

22:16Well, he's getting undressed.

22:18Oh, he's so inquisitive about his body.

22:20Well, sure.

22:21Stop!

22:24Stop!

22:25Come on!

22:26Come on!

22:36Stuart, where did you get that beyond aid?

22:40Stuart, where did you get that beyond aid?

22:43I found it on the floor.

22:47Well, you can't wear that.

22:48It's full of the germs.

22:49Let me get that.

22:50Mom, let me do it.

22:51Take that off.

22:52Let me do it.

22:53Well, go ahead.

22:58Ow!

23:04Well, take it off!

23:07I'm resting.

23:07Let me just get that off for you.

23:10Okay.

23:10All right.

23:11That's good.

23:12Stuart.

23:12Hi.

23:13I'm Dr. Wiswall.

23:14It's nice to meet you.

23:15Don't.

23:16Oh.

23:17That's sweet.

23:18Stuart, I'm not going to hurt you.

23:19I'm a doctor.

23:22Okay.

23:22Well, tell you what, Stuart.

23:24I'm just going to look at you for a minute.

23:26And if you're good, you can get a lollipop when we're done.

23:30I want a lollipop now.

23:32When we're done, Stuart, you get a lollipop.

23:34I want a lollipop now.

23:35When we're done.

23:37I want a lollipop.

23:37When we're done.

23:38Hop up on the table for me, Stuart.

23:39Hop up on the table.

23:40I don't want to hop up on the table.

23:41Well, get up on the table so Dr. Wiswall can examine you.

23:46I don't want to hop on the table.

23:46Get up on the school bus.

23:48Go ahead.

23:49Get up there now.

23:50Get on the bus now.

23:51Let me do it.

23:55Well, then, do it.

23:58Gwen!

24:03Gwen!

24:04Gwen!

24:08Gwen!

24:12Scooch-ma-gooch!

24:13Come on.

24:21Well, now, Stuart, sit up.

24:24You're going to get your Google all over the bus.

24:27Go on.

24:28Sit up.

24:28Whoa.

24:31All right, Stuart, I'm going to take your temperature now.

24:34See if you just open your mouth for me.

24:37Stuart, I need to take your temperature

24:38so if you can just open your mouth.

24:40Stuart, open.

24:41Stuart, open.

24:41Stuart, open your mouth.

24:43Stuart, now, if you don't take it in your mouth,

24:45you know where it's going to go.

24:51You know what?

25:03He seems fine.

25:04OK.

25:05The next thing I'm going to need from Stuart

25:08is I need to get a urine sample.

25:09Oh, yeah.

25:10Well, good luck with that.

25:13OK, Stuart, I'm going to need to go in the bathroom

25:15and pee-pee in this cup.

25:19Why?

25:21Well, because I need to see if your pee-pee is healthy.

25:25Why?

25:27Well, because if your pee-pee's sick,

25:29then you may be sick, too.

25:32Why?

25:34Because there's organisms that sometimes live in pee-pee

25:38and they're not good.

25:39Why?

25:39Well, because it's a warm and wet environment.

25:43Because that's the way the body makes it, Stuart.

25:45I really don't...

25:46Stuart, you take the cup and you're going to make lemonade.

25:48No!

25:51Well, go on!

25:56Do it!

26:01Go on!

26:02Do it!

26:03Oh, yeah.

26:05Well, go on, Stuart.

26:06Get good.

26:06I'm all right.

26:07I'm taking my own route.

26:09Oh.

26:09Oh, go on!

26:16Get out!

26:16Go on!

26:17Go do it!

26:18Hmm?

26:23Look what I can do.

26:24Mr. Fancy Pats.

26:33Hmm?

26:34Did you see that?

26:34And he's only had three lessons.

26:37Of what?

26:40Lemonade.

26:40Uh, okay, great.

26:48Thank you very much.

26:49Oh, oh, my God.

26:50Oh, my God.

26:51Oh, wow.

26:52That's hot.

26:55Ah.

26:57Ah.

26:57Um, okay.

26:59Well, oh, great.

27:00Thank you for that, Stuart.

27:01There's one more thing before you go.

27:03I need to, uh, quick give you a booster shot.

27:06No!

27:06No shot!

27:07No shot!

27:08No shot!

27:09No shot!

27:10No!

27:10No shot!

27:11No!

27:12No shot!

27:12It won't hurt.

27:13No shot!

27:14No shot!

27:15No shot!

27:16And it'll be real quick.

27:17You won't even...

27:17No shot!

27:18No shot!

27:19No shot!

27:20No shot!

27:21No shot!

27:22Look at this.

27:22No shot!

27:23Look at this, Stuart.

27:23Oh, come on!

27:24You've got to be these!

27:26Oh.

27:27Oh.

27:28It's in a plastic.

27:34Oh, we've got to get it from the...

27:36Okay, Stuart.

27:42I just gave you your shot, and you didn't even know it.

27:45Oh!

27:51Oh, Stuart, would you look at that?

27:54She landed on her feet just like a catty cat.

27:58I want a kitty cat.

28:00Oh, what does Mama say about the kitty cats?

28:02I don't want to say.

28:03What does Mama say about the kitty cats?

28:05I don't want to say.

28:05What does Mama say about the kitty cats?

28:09Kitty cats lick their own poop shoes.

28:13That's right, and then they try and kiss your face.

28:16No, the diaper.

28:18Oh!

28:28How about getting out spots and grapes sort of stands?

28:45How about washing out this grease and grime?

28:53How about cleaning them till no more dirt for a man?

29:07How about a quarter, four, three nickels and a dime?

29:14Wash my blue jeans, wash my underwear, wash me, wash me, wash me, wash me, wash off gravy, wash off kitty hair, wash me, wash me, wash me, wash me.

29:36How about crossword puzzles till the cycle's done?

29:48How about adding something to the rants?

29:58How about separating so the colors don't run?

30:06How about cleaning dryers, screens of lint?

30:18Wash my crazy hair, wash my pretty face, wash me, wash me, wash me.

30:27Wash my deaf hair, wash my no-no place, wash me, wash me, wash me.

30:37Wash my lifted hair, wash my

30:46Wash my的 짱

30:47Wash your hands were useless for me, because I see you are not

31:06Whoa!

31:08Whoa!

31:12Ouch!

31:16Someone let me out, I'm getting dizzy!

31:18Ouch!

31:24Odd Couple 3

31:26with Steven Seagal as Oscar

31:28and Ice Cube

31:30as Felix

31:36Fox 2000 Productions presents

31:42The Odd Couple 3

31:44The Final Conflict

31:46This is my apartment, Felix.

31:48I come and go when I want.

31:50With Steven Seagal

31:52as Oscar

31:54and Ice Cube as Felix

31:56It's eight. You said you'd be home by seven, bitch!

32:00Felix agree.

32:02It kicks more butt than Plaza Suite.

32:04You think you can be playing me like some punk?

32:08Rolling in here when you damn well feel like it?

32:10Man, I've been in the kitchen all day

32:12slaving over a stove for you!

32:14How did I know you were going to be making spaghetti?

32:16That's how much you know, foe!

32:18This ain't spaghetti!

32:20This here, lady!

32:22Grainy!

32:24Is that right?

32:30Now it's garbage.

32:32Bitch!

32:34In the world

32:36where some are neat

32:38and some aren't.

32:40Hey, man!

32:42You see I'm trying to vacuum here?

32:44Move your feet, G!

32:46You know, Felix,

32:48unless we come to some sort of an agreement,

32:50I'm gonna have to mess up your face so bad

32:52your own mama won't recognize you.

32:54She say about my mama, fool!

32:56It's so, yay yay!

32:58With surprisingly good performances by...

33:00I'm Gwen!

33:02And Roseanne!

33:04And I'm Cecily and crap!

33:06And we're the pigeon sisters!

33:08And we're the pigeon sisters and crap!

33:10You get some cocktails!

33:12So!

33:14You guys are like bachelors and everything, right?

33:16We ain't no bachelors!

33:18We divorced!

33:19Bitch!

33:20Who you playing a bitch?

33:21Bitch!

33:22You know, I gotta divorce and stuff,

33:24and it really sucked,

33:26cause then I had to get the tattoo of his face taken off my ass,

33:30and I really hurt you, John.

33:32I ain't divorce him!

33:33Bitch!

33:34Bitch!

33:35Bitch!

33:36Is everybody happy?

33:38Nice going, Felix.

33:40You've gone three minutes,

33:41and you've turned this place into a funeral.

33:43Hey, back off me, foe!

33:44You know what this funeral needs?

33:46A few dead bodies.

33:48Damn!

33:49Damn!

33:50You've done three minutes,

33:51and you've turned this place into a funeral.

33:52Hey, back off me, foe!

33:53You know what this funeral needs?

33:55A few dead bodies.

33:58Damn!

34:00I've just got this carpet cleaned!

34:04Oh!

34:07Damn!

34:10Man, what happened?

34:11I really sucks and crap.

34:12Shut up.

34:13Damn, man! Are you crazy?

34:14Shut up!

34:15Shut up!

34:16Shut up!

34:17Shut up!

34:18I said SHUT UP!

34:28By God.

34:29Yeah.

34:31Stud up!

34:32On Couple 3,

34:33The Final Conflict,

34:35Fox 2000 Productions,

34:37coming to a theater near you.

34:42A Companies of Woody Info So here,

34:47No Word Expectations!

34:51PIANO numberch!

34:53THREE- THREE- ONE!

34:54Hi, greetings and salutations.

35:00I'm Keanu Reeves and I'm looking for love.

35:06I'm a thespian by trade.

35:08In layman's terms, I'm an actor.

35:11So for some lucky girl out there, I'll act like whoever you want.

35:15I can be caring.

35:17There, there, my sweet.

35:18Everything will be all right.

35:21I can be concerned.

35:23Honey, are you all right?

35:24That looked like a nasty fall.

35:28I can also be helpful.

35:30There's a bomb on this bus.

35:32If it goes below 55 miles an hour, this bus will explode.

35:36Sweetheart, I can also be sexy.

35:40There, do you like that?

35:44Then I'll keep on doing that.

35:48So, if you want all the boyfriends in the world at once,

35:52at the same time, call me Keanu.

35:55I can also do accents.

35:57Oh, yes, my sweetie.

35:59That was British.

36:06Oh, yeah.

36:07Oh, my God.

36:26Oh, my God.

36:28Oh, my God.

36:28He had my baby.

36:30He had my baby.

36:31He had my baby.

36:32What, you tried to rip me off?

36:34No, my God.

36:35You're the one that doesn't know what the hell you want.

36:37Hey, you kiss your mother with a mouth.

36:40Yes!

36:40Me!

36:41Me!

36:41My dad was a flop.

36:51So was his father before him.

36:53I guess that'd be my grandfather.

36:55It's in my blood.

36:58Bad toys, bad toys.

36:59Hey!

37:00Let's put the gun down.

37:01What you gonna do when they're just on you?

37:03Bad toys.

37:05Clops.

37:06Filmed frame by frame with the animated men and women of law enforcement.

37:11We have reports of a flasher down here somewhere.

37:14Exposed himself to some old ladies who said he was still in the area.

37:17I don't see, uh...

37:18Oh, come over here, quick!

37:19Yep, that's him.

37:22Evening, sir.

37:22How are you?

37:24Sir?

37:25Do you live around here?

37:26Sir?

37:27Sir?

37:27Sir, stop!

37:29Uh, Mr. Paddington, is it?

37:31All right.

37:32Open her up.

37:33Holy...

37:34I hope you got a license to carry that thing.

37:38Why don't we take a little ride downtown, Flashy?

37:42No, no!

37:44You talk about the bare necessities.

37:46Watch your head.

37:47Oh!

37:52Deal with it, perverts.

37:54Colonial units.

37:55Colonial units.

37:56Report of two suspects in Barbro at 25th of May.

38:00Kiln responding, over.

38:01All right, out of the way.

38:03Make a hole.

38:04Okay, knocked it off.

38:06It's the Rock'em Sock'em boys again.

38:08There.

38:10Now, who started this?

38:11You?

38:12Now, I'm warning you two.

38:14If you don't...

38:14Take him out.

38:16Punch him in the lake.

38:17Kill him in the floor.

38:18Kill him in the floor.

38:19Kill him in the floor.

38:20Kill him in the floor.

38:21All right, that's it.

38:22Let's go.

38:23Nobody knocks my block off.

38:26Those two haven't been the same since they banned homosexual marriages.

38:30Get a couple of quarts of 30 waiting those guys, and it's all over.

38:33Calling all cars.

38:34We have a suspect on the rampage in Soupy's Kitchen on Love and Third.

38:37Back up, needed.

38:38Kill him in the floor.

38:38Over.

38:39I love Soupy's.

38:41Hope Soupy's all right.

38:43Put it down, man.

38:45Put it down.

38:46It's the Kingsbury Doughboy.

38:47Probably dusting.

38:49Sweating.

38:49Superhuman strength of works.

38:50He's going to kill somebody.

38:51He's going to kill somebody.

38:52He's going to kill somebody.

38:53No more babies.

38:55This is it.

38:56Heaven lands on your heads today.

38:58Fire.

39:06There's no effect.

39:07I'm sick of the man giving me the finger.

39:10Here's your finger, biatch.

39:12Take a picture.

39:13Wow.

39:14This guy's gone.

39:15Cover me.

39:15I'm going in.

39:25Oh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

39:27More fun to make than it is to eat.

39:30I had plenty of dough making good bread.

39:32Started loafing around.

39:33Got mixed up with a pretty crusty element.

39:35Any way you slice it, the guy was baked.

39:38Popping fresh.

39:39Yeah, right.

39:47You are me.

39:55You are me.

39:56Thank you, thank you, thanks for joining us.

40:00I'd like to say goodnight to our audience at home.

40:02I'd like to say goodnight to our audience in the studio right here.

40:05God bless you, brother Ralph.

40:07God bless you all, and goodnight.

40:09How do you like those apps?

40:33How do you like those apps?

40:39Where'd he go, where'd he go?

40:44No, no, no, leave me alone, I'm fine, I'm fine.

40:46Where'd he go?

40:47Where'd he go?

40:48Where'd he go?

40:54This is so stupid!

40:56What's wrong with this guy?

40:58Hey!

40:59Hey Brett!

41:00Are you afraid to hit me in my face?

41:03Brett, come on out!

41:04You bastard, you idiot!

41:05You got that stupid after me in my dressing room!

41:07No!

41:08No!

41:09No!

41:10No!

41:11No!

41:12No!

41:13No!

41:14No!

41:15No!

41:16No!

41:17No!

41:18No!

41:19No!

41:20No!

41:21No!

41:22No!

41:23No!

41:24No!

41:25Fun!

41:26No!

41:27No!

41:28No!

41:29No!

41:30No!

41:31No!

41:32No!

41:33No!

41:34One!

41:35Someone stop him!

41:36Do not go off of me!

41:37Stop him!

41:40No!

41:41No

41:42I'm sorry

41:44Shut up!

41:45Get him away from my dressing...

41:47Goodbye Bill

41:48Oh, man, he's bleeding.

41:53He's bleeding.

41:57Can we get...

41:59Are they watching this?

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