- 2 hours ago
Season 4 Episode 22
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Jerry Springer.
00:22Thank you. Welcome to MADtv. You know, tonight's show is a very special one for me because I finally get to...
00:30Come on, Jerry, come back to bed. Swan, I'm opening the show.
00:43Yeah, you're opening the show. I opened something else for you.
00:49Come on, you say you're going to come over and give me hot monkey love.
00:53It's only going to take a minute.
00:56Come on, only take a minute for me, Swan. Come on, I'll show you.
01:00Swan, you're killing me. I've just got to do this.
01:02Yeah, you love it too, don't you?
01:05Yeah, I do. I've got to be going now. Enjoy the show.
01:16Yeah.
01:21I enjoy Jerry a little bit, you know, the mimic.
01:25Come on, you're going to be going now.
01:29We'll be here.
01:30Come on, come on.
01:31We'll be here for you.
01:33Man.
01:34Oh, come on.
01:35Yeah, yeah, uh.
01:37Come on, come on.
01:38Man.
01:39Oh, come on.
01:40Yeah, yeah, uh.
01:41Come on, come on.
01:42Man.
01:43Man.
01:44You're so...
01:47Man.
01:48Crazy.
01:49Man.
01:50Hey, hey, you're so crazy, you got me gone
02:11You are now watching the TV
02:20Espacio, la frontera última
02:28Estes son los viajes de la nave Enterprise
02:32Es una misión de cinco años
02:35Explorar mundos extranos y nuevos
02:39Buscar vida nueva
02:41Estilos de vidas nuevas
02:44Ir atrás donde no hombre fue antes
03:09At what time sign aber Frame
03:13Thin Papa
03:13El Capitan Sagrato
03:15Stardate 127
03:161, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
03:20The Enterprise船 is a souvenir for the Starbase 9.
03:29Mr. Spock?
03:31Yes, Captain.
03:33Where are the Starbase 9?
03:36We are going to the Starbase 9 in 3 days in the Warp 8.
03:41Mr. Sulu, you have a route for the Starbase 9, Warp 8.
03:50Yes, Captain. Starbase 9, Warp 8.
03:56Captain Kirk, the engines are not going to the Warp 8.
04:02Warp 4, Mr. Sulu?
04:05Yes, Captain. Warp 4.
04:09Mr. Sulu, you have a route for the Starbase 9, Warp 4.
04:17Yes, Captain. Starbase 9, Warp 4.
04:29Hello, Captain.
04:31Hello, Captain Kirk.
04:34Mr. Barnes, what do you do with these Tribbles?
04:44These Tribbles are very mysterious.
04:47Mr. Barnes, what do you do with the situation?
04:52Damn it, Jim. I'm a medical. I'm not an agricultural Tribbles.
04:57Mr. Spock?
04:59Fascinating.
05:01There's a plow.
05:04It's a Klingon.
05:06Hello, Captain Kirk. Do you receive the Tribbles?
05:10You receive the Tribbles?
05:12It's a Klingon!
05:19Hi, Captain Kirk.
05:22Do you receive the Tribbles?
05:25Do you send the Tribbles?
05:28Of course!
05:31I send the Tribbles to eat engines.
05:34Klingon, son!
05:42Good, Captain. Good.
05:47But this is the problem of the Tribbles.
05:52Is it good, sir?
05:54Hey, Jim!
06:01Captain, that's not logical.
06:05Jajajajaja
06:11Palare,
06:12a piernas estradas.
06:17Palamos,
06:20a piernas estradas.
06:24To your spot,
06:25donde está,
06:27el Tribbles puede.
06:35It doesn't matter what color your skin is.
06:55The Eracists exploded onto the educational music scene in 1997.
07:00They tour schools and community centers, teaching kids that it isn't cool to hate someone just
07:06because they're different.
07:09Overnight they will become media darlings and zoom to the top of all regional high school
07:14anti-racism groups.
07:15Then, just as quickly, the group that teaches us how to get along will start coming apart
07:21at the scene.
07:23Tonight on Behind the Music, The Eracists, What the Hell Happened?
07:28It seemed kind of weird that someone would want to leave the group right when we were
07:32doing so well, but I loved working with Steve, but you know after a while it was like he just
07:37forgot to smile or something.
07:40You know when I forget how to smile, I just stand on my head and then gravity does this.
07:46See?
07:47See?
07:48You just gotta move past the sad to get to the glad.
07:52To get to the...
07:53Yeah, that day Steve walked out was the worst day of my life.
08:02Well, except for when I was put in this wheelchair, I was bad.
08:08And I guess the operations were pretty bad, too, and painful.
08:15But beyond that, well, there was also that time when my dad died.
08:21But Steve's leaving.
08:23Oh, sorry.
08:24This is my dad dying.
08:25It's kind of funny.
08:26Can we start over?
08:28I'm Debbie, the pretty one.
08:32Not that everyone isn't pretty in their own way.
08:34I just happen to be pretty in the way that most people agree on.
08:38Anyway, um, are we talking about it?
08:42Oh, yeah.
08:43Steve.
08:44Steve got really mixed up.
08:46Okay.
08:47Everyone in the races is equal.
08:50That's true.
08:51It's just that, um, we're all equal in different ways.
08:55Like, okay.
08:57Steve is an African American, and I write all the songs.
09:03Period.
09:05This exclusive, never-before-seen rehearsal footage at Steve's house sheds some light on that
09:11final dark day.
09:13Hey, Mr. Clansman, stop going in those buses.
09:18Drop, drop, drop.
09:19All right.
09:20Super cool song, Debbie.
09:22Thanks.
09:23Yeah, an important message with a rockin' beat.
09:25I'm glad you think so, Anne.
09:26I mean, I'd hate to see you lose the use of your arms, too.
09:31Kidding!
09:34Okay, guys, I guess we're done for today.
09:36Don't forget-
09:37Wait, wait, wait.
09:38Are we gonna do my song?
09:43Well, it's-
09:44It's just the lemonade break went a little bit late today, and I thought, you know, we're
09:48all kind of tired.
09:54Right?
09:55I always said, if anyone wrote a song as good as one of my songs, we could do it.
10:01Why?
10:02What did Steve say?
10:03Because that's what I always said.
10:06Honest to God.
10:08What did Steve say?
10:09What did Steve say?
10:10What did Steve say?
10:13We don't have to do the song.
10:15No.
10:16No.
10:17Steve, um, let's see if it's good enough.
10:21What do you say, guys, huh?
10:23Okay.
10:27Hey, you blood, and hey, you crip.
10:33We're all sailing the American ship.
10:37We don't have to make a bus.
10:44We don't have to make a bus.
10:49I had it all memorized.
10:52Steven.
10:53Mom, can you hold it just a minute?
10:56We just need to finish-
10:57No, look, now, if we want to go to the mall, we're gonna have to leave now, okay?
11:00I have to go get new pants.
11:10I never even saw Steve after that.
11:12I mean, the next thing I knew, I heard he'd gone to college.
11:16He was my best friend!
11:18No!
11:28The erasists were devastated by the loss of Steve.
11:31Two days later, he was replaced by talented newcomer, Reggie.
11:36In my dreams, Steve is still in the group with me, and, you know, it's Steve and me dancing together, and...
11:42Oh, uh, but, of course, you know, the others are all there, too.
11:49I mean, we couldn't have two black people.
11:51That would be silly.
11:59What?
12:00I just want to say I hope I can carry on where Steve left off.
12:04Reggie's my best friend!
12:08All right, erasists, let's go!
12:11Wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:12Okay, A, it's let's do it, and B, I say it.
12:23Okay, erasists, let's do it!
12:29Red, white, brown, yellow, purple, purple!
12:34It doesn't matter what color your skin is!
12:41If your last name is Epstein or Joe!
12:47If your mom earns no pay, or even if your dad is gay!
12:53Cause underneath we're all blood and bone!
13:01Yeah!
13:02What are you guys doing in my house?!
13:04We're going, okay?!
13:15Shh!
13:16Don't just let it...
13:18Steve, I don't...
13:19Is this yours or ours?
13:20No, it is.
13:21Okay, come on.
13:23Just get the cord.
13:24The chair is his, too, Ann!
13:25Come on!
13:26Drag yourself out!
13:31And so the wheels keep turning in the book that is The Erasists.
13:36Next week on Behind the Music, The Go-Go's.
13:45Where have they gone gone?
13:52Your boyfriend left you for a skanky slut?
13:54The skanky slut, Rosa!
13:55Yeah!
13:56Rosa, you're dirty!
13:58Yeah!
13:59Me!
14:00This week, tune in to Rosie with her guest, Howard Stern.
14:12And I gotta tell you, Rosie, they say the camera puts on about 10 pounds.
14:16And looking at you, I can tell you've been eating a lot of cameras.
14:20This show sucks more than Richard Simmons at a sucking contest.
14:24You know, usually when I come on a show like this, I bring a lesbian with me.
14:27But today, I thought it was kind of redundant.
14:32Keep adopting kids.
14:33What are you gonna do when the show gets canceled?
14:35Sell them?
14:36The children are helping me discover the woman in me.
14:39Yeah, well, it must be pretty crowded with half the strippers in New York already in there.
14:43I love Tom Cruise.
14:45Tom Cruise.
14:46Tom Cruise.
14:47She's right there.
14:48Look at that.
14:49She's ready for you, Rosie.
14:50Come here, Tricky.
14:51Okay.
14:52This week on Rosie.
14:58Thank you very much.
15:00Thank you very much.
15:02Thank you very much.
15:06Hey, welcome to the show today.
15:09We are talking to people who have had their lovers stolen by a skanky slut.
15:14You.
15:15You.
15:16And our first guest says she lost her lover to the skankiest of all sluts.
15:20So let's give her a big welcome, leader and her best friend, Melina.
15:23Yeah.
15:24Yeah.
15:25Yeah.
15:26Yeah.
15:27Yeah.
15:28Yeah.
15:29Yeah.
15:30Jerry.
15:31As I understand it, you both are beauticians.
15:33Is that right?
15:34Yeah.
15:35Oh, my God.
15:36I can't believe I'm sitting here with Jerry Sprinkler.
15:37Okay.
15:38You know what?
15:39You know what, Melina?
15:40What?
15:41He's kind of cute for an old guy.
15:42Thank you very much.
15:43Hey, you just called Jerry Sprinkler, okay?
15:45No, I didn't, stupid.
15:46I could die.
15:47I mean, we're looking so hot.
15:48You just made us look like way much stupider, stupid.
15:51Why don't you shut off?
15:53Do you really think I look hot, Lili?
15:56Ay, muy caliente.
15:57All right.
15:58Pusame a tetas.
15:59All right.
16:00Go, go, go.
16:01Please, please.
16:02We're not here to talk about tetas, okay?
16:03Tetas.
16:04Tetas.
16:05Okay.
16:06Lita, as I understand it, as I understand it, your boyfriend left you for a skanky slut.
16:10Yeah.
16:11The skanky slut, Rosa.
16:13Yeah.
16:14Rosa?
16:15Use your own tetas, Mike.
16:16You have your own.
16:17Rosa?
16:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:19Go, go, go, go, go, go.
16:20Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
16:21All right.
16:22All right.
16:23Why don't you shut off?
16:24Okay.
16:25That's more like it.
16:26Lita, why don't you tell us what happened?
16:27Oh, let me, let me, let me, let me.
16:28I'll tell you what happened, okay?
16:29My friend Carlos told Maurice, okay, Lita's boyfriend down at the shop salon, and then Maurice
16:34told Carlos that Lita told him that it was over between him and Lita.
16:37Yeah, yeah, and then Lita comes up to me and she said that Carlos told her that Maurice
16:41told him that, um, that I told Maurice that, uh, that it was over, but I never said nothing
16:46like that, Jeremy.
16:47Yeah, right, right.
16:48Yeah, right, right.
16:49And then my friend Maria says, guess who told Maurice to tell Carlos that Lita told him
16:56it was over?
16:57Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
16:59Okay.
17:00You're telling me that Carlos sees Maurice at a shop-a-lot.
17:03Yeah.
17:04Where Maurice, uh, told him that Lita said it was over, and then, and then you, Melina,
17:09told Lita that Carlos said that Maurice said that Lita said it was over.
17:13Yeah!
17:14But, but Lita didn't say that, nor did she tell Carlos to say that, and then it turns
17:19out that the person who told Maurice to tell Carlos that Lita told him it was over was none
17:22other than...
17:23That skank is not Rosa!
17:25Yeah!
17:26Yeah!
17:27Yeah!
17:28Yeah!
17:29Yeah!
17:30That's right!
17:31That's right!
17:32That's right!
17:33You have got to be f***ing me.
17:35No, no, no, no, and you know what?
17:38On top of that, that stupid ugly skank is not Rosa!
17:42Rosa!
17:43Come on!
17:44Yeah!
17:45That's not Jorge!
17:46That was dishing the daughter.
17:47Yeah!
17:48Saying that she does it with like, eom.
17:49Eom.
17:50Eom.
17:51Eom.
17:52Eom.
17:53Eom.
17:54Eom.
17:55Eom.
17:56Oom.
17:57Eom.
17:58Eom!
17:59Eom!
18:00Eom.
18:01Eom.
18:02You!
18:03Yeah!
18:04The guy with the teeth on his nose!
18:06And eom.
18:07Awww.
18:08Eom!
18:09Oh!
18:10Oh!
18:11Yeah, but I didn't do that guy who has that thing on his nose, okay?
18:15I don't even know who that is.
18:17Stupid, yes, who do?
18:18He's got that purple thing on his nose hanging, and he stands in front of the, um, cigar stool.
18:23Oh, my God. He's kind of cute.
18:25Ay, que ceo!
18:26All right, why don't you shut up?
18:27No, shut up, stupid.
18:28Will you shut up, stupid?
18:29You shut up, stupid.
18:30Don't, anyway, anyway.
18:31Sorry, anyway, Rosa is no more than a lying, stupid, skanky, slut gravrona.
18:37Yo, damn bitch!
18:38Yo, damn bitch, Rosa!
18:40Oh, yeah, yeah!
18:46You know, I've been doing this show for a long time, and I've seen some pretty outrageous things.
18:51Oh, Jerry, there's one more thing I forgot to tell you.
18:53Don't you shut up, Jerry. You have a little respect for Jerry.
18:57Jerry, there's one thing I forgot to tell you, too.
18:59That's right.
19:00Okay?
19:01Rosa has to not to say it to no more than a pasty-faced cabrón.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Yeah, and she said that Ricky Lake has more talent than her little fingers.
19:10Rosa, than you do, and I quote, in your tiny white ass.
19:15Snap, Jerry.
19:17Snap.
19:18Snap.
19:19Snap.
19:20That's both, that snap, man.
19:22She, she did, huh?
19:23Yeah.
19:24Yeah.
19:25Well, I think, I think I've, uh, heard enough.
19:27Uh, I tell you what, why don't we bring Rosa out here?
19:30Rosa, come on out.
19:31Yeah.
19:40それ.
19:41Yeah.
19:42Yeah!
19:43Yeah!
19:43Yeah!
19:43Charry, hey!
19:44Charry!
19:46Charry!
19:46Charry!
19:47Charry!
19:48Charry!
19:48Charry!
19:50Charry!
19:51That's enough, Jerry, dear, that's enough, Jerry.
19:53Oh, my God, Jerry, oh, my God.
19:55You back up off, Rosa.
19:57All right, you know what?
19:58Jerry looks kind of tense now, though.
19:59You know what Jerry could use to relax him?
20:01Oh, my God.
20:02Alina and Melina make over.
20:07You're dead, bitch.
20:15You're dead, bitch.
20:17You're dead, bitch.
20:18You're dead, bitch.
20:19You're dead, bitch.
20:20You're dead, bitch.
20:21You know, losing the person you love is always painful,
20:26especially when they leave you for another.
20:28But if your lover is going to cheat on you with someone else,
20:31you're better off without them.
20:33And you should never blame the person who came between you.
20:37Unless it was that skanky line slut, Rosa.
20:41Yeah, Rosa, you're dead.
20:43Yeah, even Jerry, ain't you ugly?
20:45Yeah.
20:46Scooby.
20:47Thank you, Jerry.
20:48Yeah, thank you, thank you.
20:49Oh, my God.
20:54It's Jerry Springer.
20:56Oh, because I ate for two of balls.
20:59Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.
21:00Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
21:10Wait, I'll move it.
21:11I'll move it.
21:12Too late.
21:13I already started writing the ticket.
21:14I've only been here five minutes.
21:15I can move it.
21:16I said I already started writing the ticket.
21:18Okay?
21:19Now, if you want to start some trouble over here, we can get ghetto.
21:23I'm not trying to get ghetto.
21:24Oh, my God.
21:25It's Jerry Springer.
21:26You Jerry Springer, right?
21:27Right, yeah.
21:28Let me tell you something.
21:29I love your show, okay?
21:30I watch it every night.
21:31You know, Opus I ate, but you the ball.
21:33Well, thank you.
21:34Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.
21:37So, um, how long you gonna be on in town for?
21:40I'm just in town for the day.
21:41Tomorrow I'm leaving.
21:42I'm doing Mare TV.
21:43Mare TV?
21:44That show worked my nerves, all them damn jackass running around.
21:48Oh, oh, would you mind, like, signing an, you know, an autograph for me?
21:52I'd be delighted.
21:53Oh, oh, thank you.
21:54Thank you, thank you.
21:55And, uh, who do I make this out to?
21:57Um, Bonifah, Latifah, Halifah, Sarifah, Jackson.
22:02Um, why don't I just make it out to Bonifah?
22:06Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
22:08What'd you say?
22:09Why don't I just make it out to Bonifah?
22:12I said my name is Bonifah, Latifah, Halifah, Sharifah, Jackson.
22:18So you need to take the time to spell a sister's name the way her mama gave it to her, all right?
22:22I don't want to get a sister's mama upset.
22:24I know you don't.
22:25Not my mama.
22:26Oh, oh.
22:27I got a big mama, too.
22:28Oh, oh.
22:29All right, okay.
22:30Strong like bull.
22:32Um, so, uh, Bonifah, how do you want me to make this out?
22:36Bonifah, oh, that's right.
22:38Latifah, with an H.
22:42Khalifah.
22:43Khalifah.
22:44Khalifah.
22:45With an H.
22:46Sharifah.
22:47Did I say H?
22:51Jackson.
22:52No H.
22:53Uh-uh.
22:54Oh, thank you.
22:57You know what?
22:58I almost feel funny, you know, giving you a ticket.
22:59Well, you know, you don't have to give me the ticket because, you know.
23:03I said I almost feel funny.
23:05I didn't say it was.
23:06What you want me to do?
23:07Lose my job?
23:08What you trying to do?
23:09Get me fired, huh?
23:10I got bills.
23:11What am I supposed to do for rent, huh?
23:12What am I supposed to do for rent, huh?
23:13What am I supposed to do then?
23:14Move in with you?
23:15What am I doing now?
23:16You a ho?
23:17Trust me you're not that.
23:18Uh, look, I tell you what, I'm sorry.
23:19I didn't mean to be disrespectful.
23:20Yeah, actually.
23:21Let me see this way.
23:22Why don't I, I tell you we're going to be taping a show here next month.
23:24Why don't I get you tickets, okay?
23:25Oh, oh my God.
23:28Oh, my God.
23:29Oh, my God.
23:30Oh, my God.
23:32Oh, oh.
23:33Oh, my God.
23:34What else?
23:35Oh, my God.
23:36Oh, my God.
23:38Oh, my God.
23:39Oh, my God.
23:40And why don't you know what's going to happen?
23:41Oh, my God.
23:44Oh, my God.
23:46Oh, my God.
23:47soya soya guess what i'm standing here with jerry springer say hey soya hey sonya
23:57you know guess what he's gonna give me a couple of tickets to the show free tickets to the show
24:02oh you right oh yeah oh yeah okay jerry i'm gonna need 39 more 39 that's impossible why is it
24:11impossible well okay let me tell you something it's your show ain't it it's the jerry springer
24:16show right so then if it got your name on it and it's your show why can't you get me tickets that's
24:19all i'm trying to say it's your show and it's got your name on it if it's not gonna be your show
24:22then take your name off it why are you gonna have your name on it if it's not gonna be your show
24:24but if it's got your show and it's got your name on it then you the man right
24:26don't give up with this no why you get no no I'm sorry wilharo do
24:32okay what I do I'm sorry what I would I do
24:32okay okay okay I'll get you and your 39 poops to take it
24:45Yeah. You will?
24:48Yeah, you will.
24:48Oh, thank you.
24:50Jerry, you so good. You so nice.
24:53I knew I liked you.
24:54If you could just assign the ticket now so I could get going.
24:57All right, here's your ticket, but you ain't going nowhere.
24:59Because it's 4-0-2, and after 4 o'clock, this turns into a toadway zone.
25:02You've got to be kidding.
25:07Do I look like one of them jackasses from Mad TV?
25:12No, you look like one of the guests on our show.
25:13Oh, it's like that.
25:18It's like that.
25:20I got something for you and your damn car.
25:23Hey, Mike.
25:24Yeah, I got a car for you to talk.
25:27There's Oprah. She's double-parking outside of the pancake house.
25:30Why don't you get her?
25:30Oprah! Oprah!
25:39You're watching CBS.
25:41Welcome to the home.
25:43This Sunday night, CBS is heating things up by throwing a couple of old, familiar logs on the fire.
25:51Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless are back, and bigger than ever as Cagney and Lacey in
25:56Police Pages, Pigs in the City.
25:59Cagney, Lacey, you've been on this donut shop steakout for six months now.
26:08You still think it's a front for the mob?
26:10Yeah, yeah, it's a mob.
26:12Mob! Mob! Mob! Mob!
26:15You gonna finish that troll?
26:17Back off, Christine.
26:19Hey, girls. Stop fighting.
26:21We're not girls. We're women.
26:23Yeah, so quit objectifying us.
26:25Yeah. Save your masturbatory fantasies for somebody else.
26:29We got a psycho killing hookers on the other side of this parking lot.
26:39We need you ladies to go undercover.
26:41There's what?
26:42Hookers.
26:43Well, we did it 20 years ago, Christine. We can do it again.
26:50Heads up. It's code bad.
26:53Law enforcement has never been so sexy.
26:57Brush up fuckers.
26:58Know the streets.
27:00Break us in.
27:01Come and get us while we're young and tight.
27:04Come on, girls. Let's go to another corner.
27:06We can't compete with that.
27:08Do you hear that, Mary Beth?
27:12I still got it.
27:14You ladies want to party?
27:17Psst.
27:18Hey, Christine.
27:20Call up women's intuition.
27:22But I think this could be our guy.
27:23All right. I'll turn on the charm.
27:25Okay.
27:3250 bucks?
27:33You get to sneak in the back door and stick your hand in the cookie jar.
27:36What about for 20?
27:40I'll poop on a paper plate.
27:42How about I cut off your hands instead?
27:45Ah, Christine, look out!
27:47I'm coming, Christine.
27:51Here I come.
27:54Here I come.
27:55Hold them up.
27:57Release!
27:57Freeze, nutso!
27:59Cops!
28:00When they start making cops so damn pretty!
28:04Freeze!
28:05All right.
28:06All right, Ballybent.
28:07Let's take them down.
28:08He doesn't stand a chance.
28:17All right.
28:19We need to take a break.
28:21I don't get something to eat.
28:22I'm going to pass out.
28:24I got a cruller in my folds here.
28:27I was saving it for later.
28:29You can have it.
28:30Steve, you do that for me?
28:32Oh, my God.
28:35This thing's hot as a rock.
28:36How long you had it in the bag?
28:37Hot as a rock?
28:38Give me that.
28:40What are you...
28:40Oh!
28:41What's...
28:41Oh!
28:41Way to go, Christine.
28:49Thank you, Marybeth.
28:51It's all in a day's work.
28:52No, I mean way to go.
28:53That wasn't that stale.
28:54I was eating it.
28:57Sunday, 8 o'clock.
28:58The place to be Cagney, Lacey, Police Babes, Pigs in the City.
29:03Don't you know who I am?
29:10Mr. Wayne Newton.
29:12Oh, hey, Sean.
29:13I just thought I'd come by and check out the show.
29:15Hey!
29:16We're here at the home of Derek Sims.
29:29To talk about Spishak's new Sudsy Soap Laundry Detergent.
29:32The detergent that 9 out of 10 consumers said they would use time and again.
29:40Because Sudsy Soap does to your duds what suds oughta duds.
29:44Why?
29:48Because we at Spishak know that you're not happy unless your clothes are happy.
29:58I mean, think about it.
30:00You've just taken a bath and you're all clean.
30:03Wouldn't it only be appropriate that your clothes be equally as clean?
30:06Yes.
30:08Oh, hi.
30:09And a grand good morning to you, Derek Sims.
30:11I'm from Spishak on behalf of Sudsy Soap Laundry Detergent.
30:16The laundry detergent preferred by 9 out of 10 consumers.
30:19Oh, yeah.
30:20You guys gave me a sample to try.
30:21We sure did.
30:23And?
30:25And I didn't care for it.
30:26Well, that is why we're here.
30:28What would you say if I were to tell you that 9 out of 10 people preferred Sudsy Soap from Spishak?
30:34I'd say, why aren't you talking to one of them?
30:36Because we at Spishak are so confident in Sudsy Soap that we're talking to the people who didn't like it.
30:43That doesn't really make a lot of sense.
30:45Well, what was it you didn't like about Sudsy Soap?
30:48Was it the easy access spout?
30:50The low cost per load?
30:51The built-in measuring cap?
30:53It was the smell.
30:55You're talking about the awesome cleaning power of pesto.
31:00I mean, who puts pesto in a laundry detergent anyway?
31:04Who do?
31:06Spishak do.
31:07Because we at Spishak know that 9 out of 10 people love pesto.
31:10Yeah, I like pesto too, just not in my pants.
31:15And yet, 9 out of 10 people prefers Spishak's new Sudsy Soap with the cleaning power of pesto.
31:21You know, actually, 5 other people in my neighborhood got this exact same sample and none of them liked it.
31:27But if 5 people didn't like it, that would mean that there are 45 who did.
31:32Because 9 times 5 is 45.
31:34I know what 9 times 5 is.
31:35Let me put it this way.
31:37If there were 10 people in the world, you would be the only one not using Sudsy Soap from Spishak with the cleaning power of pesto.
31:49Well, the only one in the world?
31:51You'd be all alone on that one, Derek Sims.
31:54You know, I really gotta go.
31:55Oh, just one last question, Derek.
31:56No!
31:59There you have it.
32:009 out of 10 people prefers Spishak's new Sudsy Soap Laundry Detergent.
32:05Suds your duds the Sudsy way.
32:07And if you're the 1 out of 10 people who doesn't prefer Sudsy Soap, watch out.
32:11We're coming to talk to you.
32:13Spishak's new Sudsy Soap with the power of pesto.
32:16And watch for new Sudsy Soap with Cajun Blackened Spices.
32:20And new Stampy Sudsy Soap from Spishak, where good ideas are used to make products that are also good like the ideas that were used to make them.
32:30Spishak.
32:31Oh, life's not bad.
32:40Thank you. Thank you very much.
32:55Well, how do you do, baby? Welcome to the slammer. What you in for?
33:00I killed a man.
33:03Well, well, well. I killed twice a night and three times on Saturday.
33:08Thank you, baby. Come on in.
33:11How you doing, folks? They call me Shonda. Why?
33:15Because I tell them two babies.
33:20Oh, it is so great to be here at the saucy, sassy Las Vegas downtown metropolitan police department, cell number two.
33:34Brought to you by the good folks of the city of Las Vegas.
33:38Yes, because you can't escape the fun.
33:42We are everywhere.
33:44Now, you know, I would be committing a felony if I did not introduce my accompanist and spiritual advisor, Mr. Crazy Finger Freddy.
33:55Thank you. Thank you, you sexy, sexy lady.
33:59Oh, delicious. Well, looky here. What a good-looking couple.
34:04Where are you from, baby?
34:07Out of town.
34:09Out of town? We been there, huh, Freddy?
34:11How long you two been together?
34:17I'd rather not say.
34:19About an hour and a half.
34:24Hour and a half? Now, that's about as long as our marriage lasted, huh, baby?
34:28Oh, please, don't tell my wife.
34:33Dennis, you son of a bitch!
34:34Uh-oh, baby, it looks like the cat's out of the bag.
34:38I'm gonna guess you're his wife.
34:40Yeah, but not for long. Son of a bitch!
34:43Well, baby, Dennis, this next number's got your name all over it.
34:48Nobody knows the trouble I see.
34:56Don't nobody know the trouble.
35:01About the trouble, the sorrow, the sorrow, the sorrow, the sorrow.
35:05Oh, let it tell.
35:08Don't nobody know, nobody knows.
35:11Oh, baby, Dennis, this next number's got your name all over it.
35:16I love you, Shonda.
35:20Oh, baby, let's put your hands together for Mr. Walt, one of our biggest fans.
35:25I took a swing at a cup tonight just so I could see your show.
35:30Woo! Don't nobody light a mask.
35:34Baby, that's sweet. What would you like to hear?
35:37Uh, how dry I am.
35:40Well, no, ain't that a slice of irony pie, huh?
35:44Take it down.
35:46Ooh, it's my heart, you know.
35:54I'm trying to help you, yeah.
36:03I'm trying to help you.
36:05I'm in the hands, hey.
36:06Get your damn hands off me.
36:08Don't you know who I am?
36:09I'm Wayne Newton. Wayne Newton.
36:11Johnny Mathis doesn't make it out of that coma.
36:13You're gonna be in a lot of trouble.
36:14Hey, Johnny Mathis can bite me. I'm the king of Las Vegas.
36:16Oh, ladies and gentlemen, we are in for a treat tonight.
36:19You're dead, you bastard.
36:20Oh, baby, Mr. Wayne Newton.
36:22Oh, hey, Sean, I just thought I'd come by and check out the show.
36:28Hey, Freddie, still crazy?
36:30Just this side of clinical depression.
36:32I love you.
36:33Talk to Shane, Mr. Wayne.
36:35You know, ladies and gentlemen, this beautiful woman gave me my start in show business.
36:40Oh, go on.
36:41How's about you do a little duet with Mama?
36:43Sounds terrific.
36:43Oh, Freddie, you know the song.
36:45Like my ex-wife's name.
36:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
36:48Down came the rain and washed the spider up
37:02Out came that old sunshine
37:05Out came the rain
37:09And the itsy-bitsy spider went up the spider gate
37:15Oh yeah oh yeah
37:21Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen Mr Wayne Newton
37:36Oh, it is delicious and nutritious.
37:41Oh, I want to thank you all so much.
37:43Freddie and me are going to take a little break.
37:45Don't you fellas get any ideas?
37:51Oh, it looks like when we come back,
37:52you are in for a special surprise visit
37:55from Mr. Robble down in Zoolog.
37:58We will be back in five.
38:00Freddie, play me out.
38:06I think you're taking me for a ride here.
38:19Yeah, well, maybe you like the ride.
38:23I'll take you all the way, big boy.
38:26One of the stupidest things you could do
38:28is try to separate a mama croc from her babies.
38:31Right, honey?
38:31Right.
38:32So let's do it.
38:36Let's do it.
39:06Hmm.
39:13Hmm.
39:25Hmm.
39:26Run!
39:36Run!
39:38Run!
39:40Run!
39:44Run!
39:50Run!
39:53Run!
39:54I'm getting ready for the Unilead.
40:24Oh
40:54You are me
41:00You are me
41:08Thank you very much
41:10It's been a great hour here
41:12Thank you for watching at home
41:14and supporting us
41:16to get to each other, peace
41:18Thank you very much
41:20Thank you very much
41:22Thank you very much
41:24Thank you very much
41:26Thank you very much
41:28Thank you very much
41:30Thank you very much
41:32Thank you very much
41:34Thank you very much
41:36Thank you very much
41:38Thank you very much
41:40Thank you very much
41:42Thank you very much
41:44Thank you very much
41:46It's an important message with a rockin' beat.
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