- 2 hours ago
Season 4 Episode 23
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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TVTranscript
00:01Please welcome country western sensation Kenny Rogers and the Godfather of Soul, James Brown Jr.
00:21Welcome to Mad TV, everybody!
00:23Wow!
00:27You know, a lot of people ask us, they go,
00:30Hey, Kenny and James, what do you two guys do after the season's over with your spare pounds?
00:37Well, last year we had ourselves a sweet bill selling fresh hot chimichangas down by the factory.
00:43Chimichangas!
00:46That's right, James. This year Papa's got a brand new bird.
00:51Me and James scored ourselves a sweet dick dubbing Chinese kung fu movies into English.
00:58Eh!
00:59Shut up! People say, watch that!
01:02Huh? That's a great idea, James.
01:05Why don't we show the folks out there how to do it? Huh?
01:09Alright!
01:10Alright.
01:13Alright, roll the clip.
01:15Hey, man, you burned down my village, you killed my brother, man. I want revenge.
01:20Why'd you do that?
01:21Man, what the hell you talking about?
01:23I can't feel on you. Look out.
01:25Uh! Uh!
01:26Uh!
01:27Uh!
01:28Soy sauce!
01:29Hung chile chicken!
01:30Summer!
01:31Mango!
01:32Uh!
01:33Why?
01:34Uh!
01:35Summer! Take that!
01:36I'm a arm!
01:37Uh!
01:38I'm a head!
01:39Yeah!
01:40Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:41Deep!
01:42Because the food ain't it they like!
01:47Simple as pie!
01:48And twice as tasty!
01:50Alright, y'all enjoy the rest of Man-TV!
01:53Woo!
01:59Man!
02:00Come on!
02:01Yeah, yeah, uh!
02:02Come on, come on!
02:03Man!
02:04Man!
02:05Man!
02:06You're so...
02:08Man!
02:09Crazy!
02:13Man!
02:14Ooh...
02:18Man!
02:19Man!
02:22Man!
02:23Man!
02:24Man!
02:25Man!
02:26You're so...
02:27Man!
02:28Crazy!
02:29You got me gone!
02:32Man!
02:33Man!
02:36Man!
02:37Man!
02:38Man!
02:39Man!
02:40You are now watching the TV!
02:43Man!
02:44Man!
02:46Man!
02:47Man!
02:48Monticello was designed and built in 1770 by Thomas Jefferson, and he raised his family
02:55here.
02:56Now, if you look right out the window, you can still see the old slave cabins out back.
03:01Alright, any questions?
03:03Yeah, is it true that Jefferson had an affair with one of his slaves, and that some of his
03:07descendants are black?
03:08So the Yankee scientists say, but personally, I don't believe it's true.
03:13The hell it ain't!
03:15Tour's over, get out!
03:17And don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!
03:20Seriously?
03:21Who are you people?
03:22We're the Jeffersons!
03:23The rightful heirs to Monticello!
03:25And we're moving in!
03:26We're moving in!
03:27We're moving on up, to Monticello, to Monticello, to that D-loves punk dimension in the sky.
03:33Yeah, we're moving on up, to Monticello, got the DNA to prove that it's no lie.
03:39Move it up to Monticello
03:42You've got the DNA to prove that it's not
03:46Oh my, George, look how big this house is
03:58The king finally has his castle
04:03No, because some old white dude couldn't keep his peanut butter out to chocolate
04:06Look who's master of the plantation now
04:09Well, look here, master
04:11This slave ain't doing all these windows on what you've been paying
04:13She's right, George
04:15You have to stop being such a cheapskate
04:17Florence has got to eat, George
04:19Yeah, Weezy, I guess you're right
04:21Hey, Florence, how about I pay you in dog food?
04:24Kill two birds with one stone
04:25George
04:26That's okay, Mrs. Jefferson
04:28When you're short, bug-eyed, and ugly
04:30You've got to take it out on somebody
04:31Ha, ha, ha
04:33Why'd you stop running your mouth and run a dust rag over this old junk?
04:37You were made
04:37Start maiden
04:38Well, I'll move the broom, but it won't be across this floor
04:41Oh, oh, oh, oh, now stop, you two
04:43George, you know what's missing here?
04:47A nice, big refrigerator
04:48So when I'm sitting at home, watching my big screen TV
04:52I could reach back and grab me a nice, cold pig's foot
04:55Get out, you Negroes
05:00Who said that?
05:03Me
05:04The ghost of Thomas Jefferson
05:08Oh, my God, George, it's your ancestor
05:11Mrs. Jefferson, let me ask you a question
05:13Which way are you running?
05:15I don't know, Florence, why?
05:17Because I don't want your big ass blocking me when I vote for that door
05:20You Negroes should go back where you belong
05:24Wait a minute, we belong right here
05:26And who you calling Negroes?
05:29Hey, hey, George, take it easy
05:30He probably doesn't know that times have changed
05:33And we call ourselves African Americans now
05:36Yes, I do
05:37But you'll always be Negroes to me
05:40George, beat his dead ass
05:43Wait a minute, Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson
05:45Maybe he'll listen to me
05:47I am with these fools
05:49Hell, I ain't even black
05:50I'm Puerto Rican
05:51So if you don't mind
05:52You're not going anywhere
05:54George, I recognize that makeup
05:58Isn't this the same shade Michael Jackson uses?
06:01So what you're saying is
06:03He ain't a ghost
06:04Exactly
06:07Uh, uh, uh, boo?
06:10When I get finished kicking your ass
06:12It's gonna be more like boo-hoo
06:14Oh, all right, all right
06:16I'm not a ghost
06:18I'm your cousin, Buford Jefferson
06:20We white Jeffersons drew straws
06:23To see who'd have to scare you off
06:25And I lost
06:27Oh, really?
06:28Well, I'm about to lose my foot up your ass
06:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm George
06:32It's 1999 and this is a big house
06:35And there's room for all the Jeffersons
06:37White and black
06:39Yeah, Weezy
06:40I guess you're right
06:41After all
06:42We could always use a white butler
06:44Buford
06:45Get our bags
06:46And step on it
06:48Right away, Mr. Jefferson
06:50Oh, and while you're at it
06:51Don't forget to get mine, too
06:52Now, wait just a minute
06:54I don't mind taking orders from Negroes
06:57But I'll be damned
06:58If I'm gonna fetch and carry
06:59For some Puerto Rican
07:01Well, I got your Puerto Rican right here
07:02Where are you at, Mr. Jefferson?
07:03Let me tell you something
07:04I'm gonna make my nice money
07:05Ain't too much jello
07:07I'm gonna make my nice money
07:09So I'll be damned
07:10I'm gonna make my nice money
07:11Move!
07:18You are me
07:20New York was the kind of city you didn't want to meet
07:26Walking down a dark alley
07:28The kind of city that would kiss you with one hand
07:31And kick you in the ass with the other
07:33I hadn't had a case in six months
07:35Unless some cash moseyed through that door
07:38I was gonna be out on the streets
07:40They ain't locked
07:43Hello!
07:48Hello!
07:49Hello yourself, Toots!
08:03Yeah, hello to you too, Mr. Toots!
08:06Why don't you have a seat and spill what's on your mind
08:11Oh, yeah, yeah, I spill every tea
08:13Well, uh, sashay on over
08:17Yeah, okay
08:18I sashay, I'll show you my games, okay?
08:21You watch
08:22I tried to catch my breath
08:24But I was already out the door and flagging a cab
08:27I'd seen some beautiful dames before
08:29But this one was different
08:31And that smile
08:32A man could sell tickets for that smile
08:36What can I do you for, Miss?
08:40Swan, yeah, yeah, what you can do me for?
08:45How can I help you?
08:47To find a man
08:49What man would this be?
08:51Oh, you know, that big palooka
08:54Ah!
08:56Big palooka, huh?
08:57Yeah
08:57What's he look like?
08:59Okay, you know, before I tell you what he look like
09:02Maybe we better have a drink
09:04Because it could take a long time
09:06Sorry, doll face
09:08Where are my manners?
09:10Got whiskey
09:12Different kind of whiskey
09:14Okay
09:14And, uh, this one is mostly ouzo
09:18Oh, yeah, ouzo
09:19Uzo it is
09:21It's a beautiful name, Swan
09:24Is it Irish?
09:26Yeah, okay
09:26Come on, pull faster
09:27Okay, okay
09:28Ooh, that's good
09:41More ouzo, please
09:44She was cuckoo for ouzo
09:47And I was cuckoo for swan
09:49But what the hell was going on
09:51Behind those big, beautiful peepers?
09:54Come on, come on, come on
09:56Thanks to you
10:01I love the ouzo, yeah
10:09Sometimes you make me see cartoons
10:13Cartoons?
10:18I don't know what you're saying
10:21I don't know what you're saying
10:21But I love the way you're saying it
10:23Anyway, uh, back to business
10:25This mook you're looking for
10:27You got a name?
10:28Oh, come on
10:30Of course he got a name
10:31Mind sharing it with the rest of the class?
10:34Oh, okay, okay
10:36I'll tell you
10:37He got a name, you know
10:39Like Bob, you know
10:41His name's Bob?
10:43No, no
10:44You know, listen
10:44I don't say Bob
10:45I say something like Bob, you know
10:48Like Bob or Danny, you know
10:52So it's a name like, like Bob or Danny?
10:58Yeah, you know
10:58Like there's a man in the name
11:00Like Bob or Danny
11:02Or Willie, maybe
11:03You know, like a man's name
11:05This name game isn't getting us anywhere
11:09Oh, no
11:10Here we go again
11:12I talk and talk and nobody listen
11:15Oh, please, please
11:16Do not ask me what he look like
11:19Tell me what the guy looks like
11:21Uh-oh
11:22I say your seatbelt
11:24You're going to be a bumpy night
11:27Okay, to you
11:30You know, the money got a face
11:32You know, and all the time
11:35You know, when he angry the face
11:37Go like this
11:38And then he can
11:41You know, he thinking
11:42It look like this, you know
11:43And then he's like a boat
11:46And he go like this
11:47Like a boat
11:48And he go like this
11:49Yeah, right
11:49Look, I don't care
11:50What kind of faces the guy makes
11:52I just want to know
11:53What he looks like
11:54Okay
11:56He looks
11:59That's right, yeah
12:00What the guy looks like
12:02Damn it
12:03If I say he looks like a man
12:06Then he going to start yelling at me
12:08Oh, ting, ting, this one
12:10Come on
12:11Give him something to go on
12:13Okay, okay
12:15Tell him
12:16The man has short, dark, curly hair
12:18Like a raven in the sun
12:20He's got a deep scar on the white cheek
12:23He's got mysterious eyes
12:25They're blue like midnight
12:27Like magic
12:28Go on, miss one
12:29Tell him
12:30Tell him
12:31Well?
12:34Like a man
12:35He looks like a man
12:36I didn't know whether to hit her or kiss her
12:45Oh, come on
12:47I'd rather you kiss me
12:48I think you're taking me for a ride here
12:53Yeah, well maybe you like the ride
12:55That depends on how far we're going
13:04Oh, I'll take you all the way, big boy
13:06That's a mighty long way
13:12You got enough gas?
13:14Maybe you can't fill my tank up
13:16I don't know if my hose will reach that far
13:23Come on, come on
13:26Take your big hose and put it in my hoo-hoo
13:28Obviously, she was new to the whole innuendo thing
13:44Oh, that's too much
13:45You're too much, Swan
13:48Oh, then I should go
13:50Hey, hey, where's the fire?
13:52Well, you should know
13:54You put it there
13:56But how do I get a hold of you?
14:03Oh, come on
14:04You know how to whistle, don't you?
14:07You put your lip together like this
14:10And you blow like crazy
14:12You go like this
14:13And with that, Miss Swan was gone
14:36She was like a dream
14:38And she made about as much sense
14:40Now, how did that go?
14:43Do-do-do-do-do
14:44Do-do-do-do
14:45No, that's not it
14:46It was
14:47Do-do-do-do-do-do-do
14:50Ah, hell
14:51We now return to the Aussie Hunter on the Uncovery Channel
15:08Hello
15:10I'm the Aussie Hunter
15:11And this is my wife
15:13G'day
15:13We're here outside the crocodile pen
15:16We've got to get in there and move that mama croc over to the other pond
15:19There is no good reason to do this
15:22It's really stupid
15:24One of the stupidest things you can do is try to separate a mama croc from her babies
15:28Right, honey?
15:29Right
15:30So let's do it
15:31Wifey here is going to grab one of the babies and shake it around as a threat
15:35While I come up and try to tape our jaws shut with ordinary scotch tape
15:39You okay, hon?
15:42Just fine
15:43Great
15:44While my wife distracts those crocs, I'll just get mama croc over to her new home
15:49Come on, love
15:50Alright
15:50Now I shouldn't be wading in here so deep
15:54This pond is probably full of piranhas
15:57I was right
15:58I'm being stripped to the bone
16:00This is really painful
16:02Off you go, love
16:03Sorry, boys
16:05Lunch is over
16:06See you next time when me or my wife try to milk a tarantula
16:10G'day
16:11And goodbye
16:20My wife is using a white belt I made out of raw meat
16:25Shirts go crazy for blood
16:26So this is a really bad idea
16:29Okay, Mrs. Rauscher, the directions are right there on the label
16:40Thanks for coming
16:42I hope I can keep going
16:46My bunions hurt
16:47Oh, Sylvia, you shouldn't be here, you poor thing
16:50You should go home
16:51You know I can handle this
16:52Oh, Maureen, you know two people can do the job faster than one
16:56Oh, aren't you great
16:57Yes
16:58Okay
17:00Uh, let me see
17:05Jane, John, Johnston
17:09Oh, Jameson
17:11Jameson
17:12Yeah, ma'am, that's me
17:14Okay
17:15Now, give me Sylvia a second
17:17She doesn't want to make a mistake with your medication
17:20Nice-looking boy like you
17:23Now, it says here
17:27For crabs and on lights
17:31Just give me that, I'll be on my way
17:35Alright
17:36Now, it doesn't say so on the bottle
17:39But it works best if you shave your pubic hairs
17:43Cause they some tough little critters
17:45They call them the pit bulls or parasites
17:47Oh, and make sure you boil your clothes and your sheets
17:52Cause they're probably chock full of crab eggs
17:55Thank you
17:58Oh, you're welcome
17:59Alright, let me see who's next
18:03Oh
18:06Oh, Lord, I can't be disnamed
18:10Who has the vaginal dryness?
18:13Vaginal dryness?
18:21You have the vaginal dryness?
18:24Yes
18:25Please just give it to me
18:26You're kind of young to be so dry down there, aren't you?
18:32Could you do me a favor?
18:34Just stop the chit-chat and give him a medication, please?
18:36Oh, sweet, oh, they ain't nothing to be ashamed of
18:38Let me tell you something
18:39Miss Sylvie got a friend named Clarice
18:41And honey, she used to be dry as a bone
18:45I mean, that girl had a Virginia-like sandpaper
18:49And then she went and bought one of those on the vibrators
18:55And ooh, Niagara falls down there
18:58Please, it's for my grandmother, actually
19:03It really is
19:05Well, she's gonna have to come down here and pick this up herself
19:09Oh, right, it's for me, okay
19:11Oh, so you do have the vaginal dryness
19:14All right, then
19:16Are you mad at me because you're so dry?
19:19Are you next?
19:20I hope not
19:21Okay, we have Greg Clark
19:24Oh, yes, thank God, yes, yes
19:26How you doing?
19:28I'm Greg Clark, that's me
19:29Hi, Greg
19:30Okay, listen, these directions are rather complicated
19:32So I'm gonna give it to you slowly
19:34Oh
19:35You okay?
19:36No, I, oh, darn, just blinked you
19:38I got new contacts and one just popped out
19:39Oh, shoot
19:40Well, good thing I keep two of them in my purse
19:43Sylvia, would you mind handling this gentleman for me?
19:45I can't see a darn thing without it
19:48Go ahead, Sylvia
19:49Oh, that's all right
19:50Calm down, Miss Sylvia's gonna have you out of here in a jiffy
19:54You know what?
19:55Actually, you can let somebody go ahead of me, really
19:57I'm in no hurry
19:57I'm in no hurry
19:59Does anybody want to go ahead of this nice young man?
20:03No
20:03See, baby?
20:07Ain't nobody wants to go ahead of you
20:09That's okay
20:10Now, it says you need this
20:13I know what I need it for!
20:15All right, now just slow down
20:17Miss Sylvia's only trying to help
20:19Yeah, look, I appreciate you
20:20You know what?
20:21I don't know why
20:22People get so embarrassed
20:24When they come in here
20:24And see Miss Sylvia at the pharmacy
20:26Shoot, ain't nothing wrong with having scrotal acne
20:31Out!
20:36All right, now
20:37Now don't forget to wash down there
20:39With really hot water
20:41And whatever you do
20:43Don't squeeze them
20:44Cause when those things pop
20:46Lord have mercy
20:47Let me see who's next
20:52Who has explosive diarrhea?
21:01Hello?
21:04Explosive...
21:05Oh, Maureen, this is for you
21:07Girl, you better watch that poop shoot
21:11It's for my grandmother
21:17Now return to the Aussie Hunter on
21:23The Uncovery Channel
21:25Hello, I'm the Aussie Hunter
21:28And this is my wife
21:29Good eye
21:30We're standing next to a tank
21:32Just chock full of hungry sharks
21:33We're gonna get in that tank
21:35And miss around with them a little bit
21:36Try as I might
21:38I can't find any good reason to do this
21:40Let's get started
21:41My wife is using a weight belt
21:43I made out of raw meat
21:44Sharks go crazy for blood
21:46So this is a really bad idea
21:49Really bad?
21:50Well, off I go
21:52It's warm once you get in
21:56Need a hand, hon?
21:59No, gotta cover
22:00Great
22:02Well, my wife has a couple of the failure's attention
22:04I'm gonna get a scraping from the roof of the shark's mouth
22:07Alright then
22:08Who wants a meatball?
22:10Ah, ah, there it goes
22:13Believe me, that was really painful
22:15And bet your bottom dollar he's not done yet
22:18I was right
22:21Well, join us next time
22:23When me and my wife do another pointlessly dangerous thing
22:25Becoming a Rocket Revenger is a long, complicated, selective process
22:39Hey guys, you see my moves?
22:40Welcome to the Rocket Revenger
22:42And now, Snapshot Stories
22:53With Deborah Wilson
22:54Everyone knows staying in shape is very important
22:58And so I decided to go for a run
23:00Suddenly, I ran into Andrew Bowen
23:06Who I act with on the show
23:08Good to see you, I said
23:10Good to see you, said Andrew
23:12Are you going jogging, he asked
23:14Yes, I said
23:16Well, there are some things you should do to make your run fun
23:19And safe, said Andrew
23:21Really, I said
23:22Like what?
23:23Well, he said
23:26Always start off running as fast as you can
23:29You want to get that heart rate up
23:31Next, always look all around when you run
23:36You want to enjoy the sights
23:37And finally, wear a walkman
23:41Music is much more fun to listen to than street noises
23:44But remember, safety first
23:48Thank you, I said
23:49Thank you, I said
23:50And then Andrew had to go
23:51He was going on a vacation
23:53He was going to do some scuba diving
23:56Rock climbing
23:59And disco dancing
24:01Have a good trip, I said
24:04And so, he said
24:05And so, he was off
24:06What did he say again?
24:09Oh yeah, safety first
24:11That's when I noticed my shoe was untied
24:13It was really nice of Andrew to help me out the way we did
24:17This will be my best run ever
24:21And so, I was off
24:22Gotta get my heart rate up
24:25And so, I ran as fast as I could
24:27I ran and I ran and I ran
24:30I ran and I ran
24:33I ran and I ran and I ran
24:36There
24:38Andrew was right
24:40My heart rate was up
24:42And I felt great
24:43Now I can go for a nice slow run
24:47And enjoy the scenery
24:48I looked here and there and everywhere
24:51Hey, look at that
24:53And that
24:53What fun
24:57So many wonderful things to see
25:00Now, what was the other thing that Andrew said I should do?
25:06I know
25:06Music
25:07What a great beat
25:09What fun running to music
25:12Who would have thought?
25:15I'm getting exercise
25:16And listening to my favorite songs
25:18You know
25:19If it wasn't for Andrew
25:21Today just wouldn't have been the same
25:23I should go and see if Andrew is still here
25:26And thank him
25:27Just my luck
25:29He hadn't left yet
25:31I thanked him for all his help
25:33He said, you're welcome
25:36It was my pleasure
25:38I think I learned something about exercising that day
25:43Safety first doesn't mean you can't have fun
25:46This has been a snapshot story
25:50With Kevin Wilson
25:51Hey Dan
25:56There's a new Rocket Fidger movie coming out
25:59Hi, I'm Nicolas Cage
26:01And that was me playing a little kid
26:04You see, when I was a little tyke
26:06My father turned me on to a bunch of futuristic short films
26:10Starring a bunch of guys called the Rocket Revengers
26:13You see, between 1939
26:16And 1940
26:19They made about 8,000 of these films
26:23These fantastic adventures
26:24And every single one of them literally blew my ass off
26:28It blew it right off
26:29They're that good
26:31So tonight, I'm very honored
26:33To present to you
26:35A classic episode
26:38Of the Rocket Revengers
26:41Rocket Revengers are ready to rocket
26:42Right, Rocket Revengers, right
26:45This is the future
26:49Your future
26:50The future of
26:51The Rocket Revengers
26:54Starring Nick Bendix as Captain Dutch Anderson
26:59Big Roy Rasmussen as Lieutenant Tiny Malone
27:02And Lincoln Willis as Lieutenant Abraham Jefferson
27:07Fighting to save the world of tomorrow
27:10From the evil forces of the future
27:12Rocket Revengers are ready to rocket
27:16What the?
27:28Abraham must be fighting the king of the invisible winged lizards
27:31Need any help?
27:36You bet
27:36What do you have to say to that, king of the invisible winged lizards?
27:51I thought as much
27:52It's funny and tragic that the invisible winged lizards still insist on trying to kill your people
27:59Yes
28:00When my people were asked to voluntarily move to the separate but equal island of Antarctica
28:04Back in 1968
28:06Who could have known that it was also home to the insanely savage invisible winged lizards?
28:13No one, I'm sure
28:14Oh well, at least we're all separate but equal now
28:17What the?
28:21That's the intruder alert
28:22We've got to seal all the entrances pronto
28:24We can do it
28:25Good idea, Abraham
28:26We can do it from here using our electricity
28:29That was close
28:54Rocket Revengers to the Rockets
28:56What the?
29:08Look, it's future
29:09It sure is, Abraham
29:09Welcome to Rocket Revengers HQ, future park ranger Dan
29:13Thanks, Dutch
29:14Hi, Abraham
29:15Hi, Tiny
29:15I've come to join up
29:16What the?
29:18Whoa
29:19Hold it there, Dan
29:20Becoming a Rocket Revenger is a long, complicated, selective process
29:24Hey, guys, you see my moves
29:26Welcome to the Rocket Revengers
29:28Gee, thanks, Dutch
29:30I'm just
29:31I know, Dan
29:31You're thrilled
29:32And who wouldn't be?
29:35What the?
29:36That sounds
29:37You're right
29:37You're both right
29:38It's the underwater invasion alarm
29:40We can finally test out the new underwater capabilities of Rocket Revengers headquarters
29:44You see, Dan
29:45We thought
29:46Why spend a lot of money making a vehicle that can fly or go underwater
29:49when we can just fix up our headquarters to do both
29:52Tiny
29:52Set a course for the ocean
29:54Right away, Captain
29:55All systems go, Dutch
30:04Lower periscope, Abraham
30:06Atlantic
30:18You mean the underwater home of Tuca, the queen of the Chinese?
30:21I'll say
30:22We better go see if she's the one invading the rest of the world
30:25Dan, you stay here
30:27We'll be right back
30:28Rocket Revengers are ready to rocket
30:33Right, Rocket Revengers?
30:35Right
30:35Here we are on the trail of the China
30:50We're in danger now
30:52Really deadly danger
30:53This is a stupid idea
30:55Move!
30:56Rocket Revengers are ready to...
31:18Ride
31:20Revengers of Rockets are ready
31:24Right?
31:27Darn
31:27Hello, future Pac Ranger Dan
31:35Tuca, the queen of the Chinese
31:38What do you want?
31:39The Ranger Dutch Anderson for spurning my kisses
31:42And I shall have it too
31:45By slaying his newest Rocket Revengers
31:47You can try, but I got some new moves
31:50What good are moves against?
31:52Electric Space Gears
31:55Farewell, future Pac Ranger Dan
32:06What the...
32:17It looks like Tuca has been here with her electric space seals
32:21You can't die, Dan
32:22You just can't
32:23Nobody's dying today, friends
32:25Rocket Revengers don't go out that way
32:28Rocket Revengers go out with rockets roaring and heads held high
32:32Tiny, get me that highly experimental anti-space seal kit
32:35Abraham, set a course for the space hospital
32:38Dan, choose life
32:40Well, at least we did all we could
32:45Nobody can say any different
32:47We have got to avenge
32:49You're right, Abraham
32:50We should call it a day
32:51But don't worry
32:52Tuca will get hers
32:54And we'll get ours
32:55And the day that we get ours
32:57Will be the same day that Tuca gets hers
32:59And trust me, we'll all be there
33:01Tiny, set a course for home
33:04Right away, Captain
33:05What the...
33:08What the...
33:10What the...
33:12Coming
33:21Somebody call for maintenance?
33:26Are you Waylon?
33:27Well, I'm wearing Waylon's jockey, so I better be him
33:29I just called a while ago, I wasn't sure if you were still coming
33:32Yeah, yeah, sorry about that
33:34Had me a devil of a time getting off the elevator
33:35Um, so what do you got, uh...
33:38What's it, a sink problem you got?
33:39Yeah, the leaky sink in the bathroom, it's pretty bad
33:42Hmm, hate to hear that
33:43Hate it, hate it, hate it
33:45All right, mind if I come in and take a look?
33:47No, can't do much about it from out there
33:49You're right about that
33:50Well, uh...
33:55That's nothing a little paint won't fix
33:56Okay
33:56Oh
33:58Yeah, there's a little mark there
34:02Oh, that's...
34:03Oh, the tree...
34:05Okay, it's fake, so it didn't hurt probably
34:08I'll get the tree
34:11Can I give you a hand, Will?
34:14Actually, I prefer you give me a leg
34:16Because the two I got don't do much except hang off my ass
34:19You can't ask
34:24Ask what?
34:26Ask why they didn't send you a real maintenance man
34:28I wasn't thinking that
34:29Yeah, yeah, sure you were
34:31Come on, let's just get this out of the way
34:32Call me a gimp
34:33You're not a gimp
34:35Well, I guess I better stop cashing my government gift checks, huh?
34:39Oh
34:39But you shouldn't call yourself that
34:42Now, what exactly should I call myself, then?
34:46How about differently abled?
34:48Look, lady
34:49I got me two gimpy legs
34:51If that don't get me in the gimp book
34:52I don't know what I gotta do
34:53I mean, well, it's not that I'm saying it's all bad, mind you
34:56I mean, if I had two function pegs
34:58I wouldn't have this piece of rolling thunder underneath me
35:00How fast can you run?
35:02I don't know
35:03I'd do 150 on the highway
35:05Slows down a bit indoors, I bet, though
35:08See, that's it
35:10You gotta have a sense of humor about the whole thing
35:11I bet
35:12Oh
35:13There, you just gotta clean
35:15There we go
35:15Yeah
35:16Oh
35:16Sorry about that
35:20It's all right
35:22It's nothing the little paint won't fix
35:24Okay
35:24I can do that myself
35:25All right, well, yeah
35:26Do you want to take a look at the bathroom?
35:28It's right there
35:28Right in there, okay
35:29I'm on it
35:30Watch yourself
35:31Okay
35:31That was close
35:33That's
35:33You know what, all this
35:34Oh, it's empty
35:35It's empty
35:36It's hard
35:37Okay
35:37All right, I'll just move this out of your way
35:40Yeah, what?
35:41No, no
35:41Watch yourself
35:41No, watch yourself
35:43Why don't you let me handle this?
35:44No, no, no, no
35:45It's no problem
35:46It's my fault for having all this stuff in the way
35:49I just
35:49You know, why don't I do
35:54Why don't I just, um
35:55Why don't I just describe it to you?
35:58Okay, why don't we start with that?
35:59Well, um
36:00It leaks
36:01Okay
36:05Here we go
36:06Oh, give it a go, huh?
36:09Yep
36:09Oh, okay, that's not the coffee
36:13It lets a little
36:13It costs a little bit of money
36:15So I just have to make sure we don't
36:16Oh, God
36:17Oh
36:17Oh
36:18Damn it, damn it, damn it
36:20I'm letting you down
36:22No, you're not letting me down
36:24Well, have I fixed your sink?
36:25Well, not yet, but
36:27And do you see it happening anytime soon?
36:30Not soon, no
36:32Then I'm letting you down
36:34You know what?
36:34I'm just gonna go send somebody else up here
36:36All right, but
36:37I never figured you a quitter
36:39Okay
36:43So this is the part where I'm supposed to
36:45Get all angry and determined
36:46And say, hey, I'm no quitter
36:48And then corny music plays
36:49And I give it one big last try, right?
36:52I was hearing triumphant music
36:54Yeah, yeah, yeah
36:55Sure you were
36:55You know what?
36:56I'm gonna send somebody else up
36:57Okay
36:58Watch
36:59I got it
37:03Lean shut out
37:03All right
37:04What the hell?
37:08Yeah, sorry about that
37:09You can build a building for that
37:12Oh, boy
37:14Oh, but I love them
37:20I don't believe this
37:22What's wrong?
37:23Can you do me a favor?
37:24Sure
37:25There's a switch on the back underneath
37:27Oh, okay
37:28This way is easier
37:31There you go
37:33There we go
37:34Okay
37:34Yeah, right back
37:35Yeah, the switch there
37:36All right
37:37Yeah, yeah
37:37Flick it back and forth
37:38Yeah, I got it
37:39There you go
37:40Waylon, can you let me in?
37:51Uh, yeah
37:51Just a sec
37:53Today, Waylon?
37:58I got you
37:58Okay, I'm on it
38:00Waylon, I'd like to get back
38:02Yep
38:03Waylon, you're not stuck on the rug, are you?
38:07No
38:07Waylon, should I go for help?
38:11No, no, I got it
38:12Okay, uh, for this first scene, uh, Magic
38:21Why don't you, uh, suggest to us an occupation
38:23A hat
38:25Could we sing a song together?
38:28Oh, Rusty, I don't think so
38:29I'm a little bit country
38:31Look, I am not going until we sing that song together, buddy
38:34B-b-b-b-b-b
38:35We now return to the Aussie Hunter on the Uncovery Channel
38:48Hello, I'm the Aussie Hunter, and this is my wife
38:52G'day
38:54Here we are on the trail of the cheetah
38:56The cheetah isn't just a really ferocious son of a gun
38:58It's also the fastest land mammal there is
39:01We're in danger now
39:02Really deadly danger
39:04Now my wife is going to agitate the cheetah
39:07For no reason at all
39:09This is a stupid idea
39:11I'm on it
39:12Nothing bothers a cheetah more than being woken up
39:15So you've got to be really quiet
39:17That's my girl
39:19What was that, Han?
39:22You all right, dear?
39:24Just a scrape
39:25I'm in a bit of a jam
39:30Why don't I take a run for it?
39:37This was a really stupid thing to do
39:39Join us next week
39:42Although I'm really not sure we'll be here
39:45Good day
39:46And goodbye
39:46There's a new game in town
39:56Switch, switch, switcheroo
39:59Look who's wearing a high-gill shoe
40:02Mom's now dad
40:04And dad's now Sue
40:05It's fun to switch my clothes with you
40:07Introducing Switcheroo
40:10The first cross-dressing game for the whole family
40:13Roll the dice and try to collect as many switch hitter cards as you can
40:17Whoever gets in full drag first, wins
40:20Switch, switch, switcheroo
40:22What a wig and curls can do
40:25Mom's the butch and dad's the fem
40:27The boys are girls and the girls are men
40:30Switcheroo
40:31Switcheroo
40:33From Spishack, of course
40:35All right, game's over, son
40:39It's not a game, dad
40:41Thank you, guys
41:08Thank you for coming
41:09Thank you for watching
41:10Remember, every time you tune in to MADtv
41:12It's like making love to us with your remote control
41:15Eww
41:15Good night, everybody
41:18When you're I open it out麽
41:20Oh, I decided I'm not fun
41:20I'm gonna join her as with my펜
41:21And I'm going Kit
41:23But I'm gonna open it up
41:24Thank you, this one
41:25The friends that want me to be
41:26To be in the worst
41:36With the Rolex
41:38It's like making love to
41:39The police
41:42Can you hang out to the DVD?
41:44La AWS
41:46No Wait, what to know?
41:47What the...
42:04That sounds...
42:05You're right.
42:05You're both right.
Recommended
42:45
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