- 3 hours ago
Season 4 Episode 6
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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TVTranscript
00:00Ladies and gentlemen, Nicole Sullivan.
00:12Yeah, you know, right?
00:15Uh-uh.
00:30Okay, yeah, great.
00:33Thank you very much.
00:34Yeah, Nicole couldn't make it.
00:36Yeah, she's in her dressing room crying.
00:38I guess I insulted her.
00:40Whoops.
00:41Yeah, no, I'm not saying that her jokes are lame.
00:43I'm just saying that we had to build her a ramp to get her in here.
00:46If you know what I mean.
00:48Yeah, that's funny.
00:50Okay.
00:51Now you're stuck with me, little ray of sunshine.
00:55Welcome to MADtv's Halloween Spooktacular on Fox.
01:00We are the Monica Lewinsky and that works.
01:02We're big, we're cheap, we're flashy, and sometimes we really blow.
01:14You know, but seriously, folks, tonight we have a show that is so funny, it is scary.
01:21Hi, Danco, lady.
01:23Oh, wow, speaking of scary, look at her.
01:26Yeah, look at that outfit.
01:28See, I thought the $2 whore look was out, but maybe I'm wrong.
01:33Maybe I'm wrong.
01:34Did that outfit come with knee pads and a bib?
01:39I've seen wounds that were dressed better.
01:42Okay, and this must be your pimp.
01:47Look at here, this is my wife.
01:49Oh, wow, that must have been a drunk night in Vegas, huh?
01:54My wife over here, she's giving you a little bit of support.
01:56Okay, you know what?
01:56You should have talked to me up when I looked.
01:58I bought this outfit.
01:59We came home.
02:00I will...
02:05Okay, are we done with O.J. and Nicole over here?
02:11Yeah, you really nailed them.
02:14Oh, wow, and lookie there, the white trash rears its ugly head.
02:18Okay, I'm thinking, uh, you're out of work, still live with your mom, fight with your
02:25dad about your long hair, haven't had a date since the junior prom, and let me guess, you're
02:31a KISS fan?
02:32Yeah, KISS rules!
02:33Yeah, what a shocker!
02:34Yeah, the kids with the music and the make-up!
02:39ELECTRONIC SOUNDS
03:09Speaking of kiss, why don't you boys just kiss my ass?
03:16Why don't you name the time and place, baby?
03:18Okay, stick around, folks.
03:20We got a lot more show and a lot more kiss.
03:23And the boys better leave some kiss for me if you know what I'm talking about.
03:27Oh, yeah. Bring it home to Mama.
03:38Come on, come on.
03:41Hey, come on.
03:43Yeah, yeah.
03:44Come on, come on.
03:45Hey, you're so crazy.
03:52Hey, you're so crazy.
03:56Hey, you're so crazy.
04:10Hey, you got me gone.
04:14Hey, you are now watching the TV.
04:26Jessica, I just finished closing the store.
04:28How's the party going?
04:29I know, I know.
04:31It's awful.
04:31I'm late for my own party.
04:33I don't even have my costume on yet.
04:35Yeah, I'll be there in ten minutes.
04:37Yep, okay, bye.
04:41Uh-oh.
04:45Hello?
04:46Hello?
04:52Hello?
04:53Hello?
04:56Ma'am, I'm sorry.
05:00I didn't even see you.
05:01We're closed.
05:02Yeah, okay.
05:07We're closed now.
05:08Oh, okay.
05:10Okay.
05:11Why don't I just ring you through real quick and then I can go.
05:14Good?
05:14Okay, you go.
05:16Go.
05:18Well, I can't leave you in the store alone.
05:20Just, why don't you just tell me what you want?
05:22A movie.
05:23Uh, which movie?
05:25Oh, can you know the movie with the man?
05:30Which man?
05:31Who are you looking for?
05:32Okay.
05:33You know the man, he all the time in the movie.
05:37You know.
05:38No, no, I don't.
05:40Can you tell me what he looks like?
05:42Okay, okay.
05:43I'll tell you.
05:44He looks like a man, you know?
05:53Okay, well, so it's not Leonardo DiCaprio.
05:58Oh, but on second thought, what about Titanic?
06:00Huh?
06:01It just came out on video.
06:02Oh, Titanic, the big boat, and all the people go down and they all die.
06:07Oh, that's so funny, you make me laugh.
06:12Okay, great.
06:13You liked it?
06:14You liked it?
06:14I'll get it for you.
06:15No, no.
06:17Maybe the movie is spooky, but the Halloween is spooky movie.
06:22Well, our horror section is just about cleaned out here.
06:25Oh, Nightmare on Elm Street, a classic.
06:28No, also dancing.
06:32I want the spooky, but also dancing.
06:35What?
06:36Spooky, but also dancing?
06:38What the hell are you talking about?
06:39Spooky, but also dancing.
06:40Prom night?
06:41Okay.
06:41Prom night?
06:42Prom night?
06:42Prom night?
06:43Okay.
06:43Prom, yeah.
06:45Oh, one left.
06:46Thank God.
06:46Oh, thanks, God.
06:51Okay, I'm going to need your membership card.
06:54Oh, you're such a nice lady to help me.
07:01Now, can I just have your card, please?
07:03Yeah, okay.
07:05Your video card.
07:07I'm going to need that so that I can just zip it through, and then we can get out of here.
07:10Yeah, yeah.
07:11Yeah, okay.
07:11Okay.
07:12No, no, no, I need your damn card.
07:15Yeah, so you can zip it, too.
07:16Okay, where's your purse?
07:17Where's your purse?
07:18Give me your purse.
07:18Just give me your purse.
07:19Hey, I want to talk to the manager.
07:21All right, here it is.
07:23Here it is, and you know what?
07:23I am the manager, okay?
07:25Oh, that's so nice.
07:26So the lady goes so far up in her company.
07:30There's no glass ceiling for you, Taffy.
07:34Now, zip it through.
07:35I zipped it!
07:39Oh, damn it!
07:40Damn it!
07:41Damn it!
07:41Damn it!
07:42Damn it!
07:43You've got late fees!
07:44No, that's not true.
07:46Oh, yeah, huh!
07:47You had Air Bud for a month!
07:49Oh, that's a good movie.
07:52You did a little dog, and all the people like that dog.
07:55The dog look like this.
07:58Oh, okay.
07:58Great.
08:00You see?
08:00Great, great impression.
08:01Now, if you could just pay the $23 in late fees, and I can just zip it through, and we can
08:05get out of here.
08:05No, but I put the movie in a little hole.
08:08No, I don't care about your freaking hole!
08:10No, I put the Air Bud in a little hole.
08:13No, you're late, you're late.
08:14You've got to pay the late fees.
08:16I can't...
08:16No, no, I tell you.
08:18No, no, no.
08:19You know what?
08:20I tell you.
08:20Just pay the fine, because I've got a party to go to.
08:24You do not have to rub it in fancy, Nancy.
08:27You have a big party to go to.
08:29Oh, yeah, I sure can't imagine why you're all alone.
08:35It's just too bad I don't invite you to my costume party, huh?
08:39Oh, thank you.
08:40I'd love to go.
08:41Oh, fine, fine, fine.
08:44You know what?
08:44Let's just get out of here.
08:45I'll pay all your late fees, and you can come to my costume party at House of Cadmus.
08:49Look, Taffy's Taffy.
08:54Oh.
08:55I make myself laugh.
08:56Yeah, good for you.
08:57Okay, let's just get out of here.
08:59I know who I want to be.
09:01Oh, who?
09:03Okay, you know the man that look like a man all the time.
09:08I have to tell you how to do it.
09:09No, you know what?
09:10No, you're going to go as a freaking meal.
09:11Now just sip it, and let's get out of here.
09:13Get out of here.
09:14Sip it, the freaking meal.
09:15Sip it, and let's get out of here.
09:17Come on, let's sip it.
09:18Sip it, the freaking meal.
09:19Sip on out of here.
09:20Sip it, the freaking meal.
09:20Sip on out of here.
09:23Oh.
09:24Ask him.
09:27You are mad.
09:44Tired of those boring old action figures?
09:47Your action figures are stupid.
09:49Do other kids have better action figures that always beat up yours?
09:53Die, die, die.
09:54Well, it's time for action figures that mean business.
10:00Kiss action figures.
10:02Each with authentic costumes, instruments, and lifelike hair.
10:06Pull the string.
10:09And they move around.
10:12My action figure.
10:14Pull the string again, and they rock.
10:16Pull the string again, and...
10:23Well, let's just say they mean business.
10:31Ooh.
10:32You can rock and roll all day, and then sleep tight with Kiss.
10:36Good night, Kiss.
10:38Sweetie, can I borrow Paul Stanley till the morning?
10:43Oh, Mom.
10:44Why do you always do this?
10:47You'll understand when you're a little bit older.
10:50Now give them to me.
10:53Oopsy-daisy.
10:54I got a little string pulling of my own to do, honey.
10:57Oh, boy.
10:58This is gonna be fun.
10:59Sleep tight, sweetie.
11:01Oh, Daddy's on vacation.
11:03Kiss action figures.
11:05Collect the whole band.
11:07Blood not included.
11:14And now, please welcome Natalie Merchant,
11:17Puff Daddy, and Mace.
11:29Puffy, Mace, and me, we're getting candy.
11:33Flaming doggy bags, and drinking candy.
11:38Chilling in the bands, and trick-or-treating.
11:42Stealing people's music's really sweet, and then,
11:45Puffy makes a cat.
11:48I make the monster cat.
11:50Yo, Puffy make the cat show.
11:53Yo, Tyler Puff, Tyler Puff.
11:54Money, money, money.
11:55He got the Benjamins, Benjamins, Benjamins.
11:57Oh, yeah, yeah.
12:00Puff, Puff, make the...
12:01Give me the cat.
12:02He makes the cat.
12:04You get all the dough, all the hoes with the chips in the guitar.
12:07Puffy, Mace, and me, we're getting the money.
12:09You got the money, got the money, you're home.
12:11He makes the cat.
12:13Tell him, Puff, tell him, Puff, tell him, Puff.
12:14That monster cat.
12:17I'm going to put the ice in the ice and roll me.
12:19He makes the cat.
12:22Oh, yeah, yeah.
12:23Yo, he got all the dough.
12:25Thank you, buddy.
12:29I love it.
12:31Hey, guys, give it up to Natalie Merchant, Jose and Mace.
12:38Weren't they great?
12:39Weren't they great?
12:41Weren't they fantastic?
12:43We've got some other surprises.
12:45How many of you are?
12:46Kiss, say.
12:51Yo, Natalie.
12:52How about I sample you?
12:55Oh, but there are children starving.
12:57Okay.
12:58Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
13:06Oh, now I know what they call you, Puffy.
13:09And there are childrenertenisol.com.
13:15Nothing to do.
13:17Hey.
13:18Hey.
13:20Hey.
13:22Hey.
13:23Hey.
13:24Hey.
13:25Yeah.
13:25Hey.
13:25Hey.
13:30Hey.
13:31Yo, holla, holla Puffy, why are you there like that?
13:32Puffy why are you there like that?
13:45Ladies and gentlemen, Eddie Rogers and Cher
14:02Hi, I'm Kenny Rogers. You know I sure do love singing and I sure do love my friends
14:11And if there's one thing I sure do love to do, that's sing with my friends
14:16That's why Elemental P-Tail Records in conjunction with the IRS has released Kenny Rogers' Buets of a Lifetime
14:24This wonderful collection of my favorite songs also includes Icelandic songstress
14:31Bior!
14:33Islands of the shore
14:34Too hot to ignore water we want
14:39I can't love you more
14:41And I'm depending on you
14:46I slant off the shore
14:51What are you doing there little fella?
14:57There's even something for the kids
15:03I'm gonna sing with my nanny
15:05Marilyn Manson
15:07All around the carpenter's bench
15:11The monkey chase, the wizard
15:14The monkey chase
15:16Hey, what's going on down there?
15:18Pop goes the wizard
15:20I didn't say stop
15:25And thanks to the miracles of modern technology
15:28I can even sing with some of my dead friends
15:31Irresistible
15:34That's what you are
15:40Irresistible
15:46From near or far
15:55Order now and you'll get
16:02Dude Looks Like a Lady with Luciano Pavrot
16:05Con Boy with Fiona Apple
16:07A Boy Is Mine with Monica
16:09Gangsta's Paradise with Helen Reddy
16:12Bittersweet Symphony with Shania Twain
16:14Devil's Haircut with Fiona Apple
16:17My Heart Will Go On
16:18Love Theme from Titanic with Rob Zombie
16:20Ebony and Ivory with Old Dirty Bastard
16:23God Bless America with Sinead O'Connor
16:26And many more
16:27To get the wonderful duet's compilation
16:30Kenny Rogers slurred about
16:31Call 1-800-555-0122
16:35Sorry, COD's over
16:36And that's a wrap
16:45Well, I hope we sell some of these albums, Kenny
16:50So you can get yourself out of that little tax hole
16:52Thank you, Anne Murray
16:54Good God, I got a leak like Ken Starr's office
16:57That's kind of funny
16:58Here, hold my cup
17:01Okay
17:01Where's the bathroom at?
17:08Oh, here it is
17:09Just as good coming out as it did going in
17:16Why is it I always feel like I have a monkey on my back?
17:29Okay, again, the question was
17:31A yellow fruit
17:32I know this one
17:35But my clicker's not working
17:37Hey, why would England?
17:41You were in V
17:42My kids love that show
17:44Gigi, thank you
17:45Everybody can't quit
17:53Perf Doggie and Natalie Merchant are dead
17:56What the hell are you talking about?
17:57I was just peeing on them
17:59They're dead
18:00You're sick bastard, Kenny
18:02Me?
18:03Where they went to kill us?
18:05I mean, who would want to kill sweet little Natalie Merchant?
18:09Oh, please
18:09Please
18:10What is so mean?
18:13Now it's clear to me that someone in this room is a killer
18:17Actually, it wouldn't be someone in this room
18:24Yeah, it'd be somebody out there
18:27Hey gang
18:51Hey Marilyn Manson
18:53Look what I found
18:55A dead Bjork
18:58You found her?
19:00Yeah, she was just kind of hanging there
19:02Wow, Puff Daddy, Natalie Merchant, now Jor
19:05I was just wondering, if it's okay, could I keep her?
19:09Yes
19:10Great
19:12Alright guys, now this is getting serious
19:15One of us has to call the cops
19:16Oh, and I know who the killer is
19:19Who is it?
19:21It's Michael Jackson
19:22Michael Jackson
19:28Michael Jackson
19:30Michael Jackson
19:30Who?
19:31God, before he could finish telling us
19:33Now we're just never gonna know who the real killer is
19:37Oh, you can have another one
19:43And one more if you like
19:45There you go
19:46Happy Halloween
19:47Bye-bye
19:48Trick or treat
19:52Oh, well, hello, little girl
19:53Now don't you look cute
19:54Oh, no, I have my son with me, Stuart
19:57Well, where the heck is he?
20:01Stuart!
20:04Stuart, you're getting out out of the street!
20:06Stuart, I told you to stay right next to Mama
20:15Oh, now where did you get those wax lips?
20:20I found them in the street
20:21Well, oh no, you don't
20:24They're dirty
20:25No, I want them
20:26Stuart, you take those out
20:27They've been in the street
20:28Oh, for heaven's sakes
20:32He's such a hungry boy
20:33He must be having a growth spurt
20:35Wow, it looks like he's had a couple of those already
20:38Wow, and look at you
20:40What a nice little costume
20:41Oh
20:42I don't know
20:45It looks a little snog
20:46Stuart, is that snog around your Google?
20:51No
20:51Well, listen to me
20:53You don't want to hear about his Google, do you?
20:55No, I don't
20:56Of course you don't
20:58No
20:58Well, no, Stuart
21:00Why are you pulling on your Google?
21:02Look at you
21:05You're pulling on your Google
21:06I don't want to say
21:07What, do you have to go to the bathroom, honey?
21:10I don't want to say
21:10I swear he's bigger than his bladder
21:14You don't mind if he uses your bathroom, do you?
21:18Um
21:18You don't mind, of course
21:20Well, Stuart, what do you have to do in there, honey?
21:22Which one?
21:23Tell Mama
21:23I don't want to say
21:25Well, which one, Stuart?
21:27I have to make brown bubbles
21:30Well, then we better hurry
21:34Come on
21:34You don't mind, do you?
21:36Come on, Stuart
21:37You gotta hurry up
21:38Go on
21:39No, Scoot
21:40Scoot
21:41Let me do it
21:42Look what I can do
21:45Uh
21:50He must like you
21:52He doesn't do that for everybody
21:55You're so lucky
21:56Well, you'll be a lot luckier
21:57If he makes it to the pulper on time
21:59Maybe I should go and get him
22:01Oh, don't worry
22:02I'll get him out for you
22:03Stuart
22:04I'm Stuart
22:07Come on
22:08Oh, God
22:12Um
22:12Stuart
22:13Uh
22:14Now, where did you get those underpants?
22:17I found them on the floor
22:18Uh, they're my husband
22:19Well, Stuart, you take those off right now
22:22They're not yours
22:23No, I want to wear them home
22:24Stuart
22:25That is stealing now
22:27You take off those underpants
22:28And you come on
22:29Stuart, you give those back to the lady
22:32Those are not your underpants
22:33Well, you can't take those
22:35They're not your underpants
22:37Give me the underpants
22:38It's okay, you know what?
22:40He can have them
22:41He can have the underpants, okay?
22:42You can have them, Stuart
22:43Happy Halloween, okay?
22:44Oh
22:44Oh, well, okay, you win
22:49You can keep the underpants
22:51But no candy
22:52No, I want some candy
22:55Well, that's too bad
22:56That's too bad
22:57You made your bed
22:58And now you can lie in it
22:59Now, come on
23:00Let's go
23:01No, we're going home
23:03Now, come on, Stuart
23:04We gotta go
23:05No, no, it's all right
23:06You know what?
23:06I want to stay for candy
23:07Okay, Stuart
23:08I want to stay for candy
23:09Okay
23:10Stuart, you can have one piece of candy
23:12And then you can go home
23:13Oh, okay
23:14Well, just pick one piece of candy
23:16And let's go, Stuart
23:18Well, Stuart, pick one
23:21I don't know which one I want
23:22Well, just pick one
23:24Look, they're all the same
23:25Here, pick that one
23:27Let me do it
23:27Well, pick it
23:28Come on
23:28Pick a candy, Stuart
23:30Let me do it
23:31They're all the same
23:32Just pick a candy
23:33Come on, let's do this
23:35Let me do it
23:35Just
23:36Oh
23:36Let me do it
23:38Okay
23:42Stuart, I just want
23:45It's all you need
23:45Stuart, now don't you do that
23:47You're gonna be up with the sports
23:48All night long, Stuart
23:50Look what I can do
23:51Stuart, you'll come on right now
23:56Hi
24:15Trick or treat
24:16Hello
24:17So, who are you supposed to be?
24:25I don't know
24:26You look like a bunny
24:28Are you a bunny?
24:30It is possible
24:31Trick or treat, would you like some candy?
24:36I have a cat named Tee Tee
24:37That's the mother load
24:48That's the mother load
24:48Mom, this is Kiss
25:03It's my date for the prom
25:04Isn't this where the crazy guy who just got out of prison lives?
25:10Me
25:11And this is the set for my mad TV sketches
25:23I play Robert England
25:26What do you think?
25:27Oh, I like sketches
25:29They're funny
25:30You know, it's ironic
25:33Here I am
25:34Starring in all of these horror films
25:37And your name is scary
25:40Wait a minute
25:41You've done movies?
25:43Yeah
25:43I'm the guy that plays Freddy Krueger
25:46Who?
25:49Ha ha ha
25:50Krueger
25:50The Nightmare on Elm Street films
25:53Oh, I've never seen any of those
25:55But I do remember you from Vee
25:57You played Willy
25:57The kind alien
25:58I loved Willy
25:59I did
25:59You like, you like little Willy?
26:01I loved little Willy
26:02You liked him a lot?
26:03A lot
26:03How much?
26:05Oh, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot
26:06Tell me what you want
26:08What you really, really want
26:09Oh, oh, oh
26:12That's just me ovulating
26:18Oh
26:18Oh
26:21What's that?
26:24What's that?
26:24What's that?
26:24What's that?
26:24What's that like?
26:31A-zik, a-zik, a-zik
26:32Who are you?
26:38Robert England
26:39Oh, the guy from Vee
26:42I'm the actor who plays
26:46Freddy Krueger
26:47In all seven Nightmare on Elm Street films
26:50For crying out loud
26:52Everybody just remembers me from Vee
26:55I've done 50 movies
26:56I'm about to be bludgeoned to death
26:58It's probably gonna say on my tombstone
27:01R.I.P. Robert England
27:02He's the guy from Vee
27:04Pop quiz
27:06Pick a number between 1 and 10
27:086
27:10You're lucky
27:12Hey
27:18This could be a clue
27:21MJ
27:26Property of Michael Jackson
27:32Bingo
27:33Now all we gotta do is figure out who Michael Jackson gave this glove to
27:39And we got ourselves a killer
27:42Made in Hong Kong
27:45Well
27:46It looks like I've got me a plane to catch
27:50This is just too easy
27:53Mom, I want you to wear this stupid thing
28:03Oh, look at you
28:06You are gorgeous
28:07Yeah, just turn around
28:09Yeah, if you weren't my own daughter
28:10I'd take you out myself
28:11What, it's just a joke
28:15Gee whiz
28:16So, Kate
28:17Were we ever gonna meet, you know
28:19Your mystery
28:20Boyfriend?
28:21No, because he looks
28:21Hey, get off!
28:23Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
28:24I'll take you, Kate
28:27There he is
28:28How do I look?
28:29You are a vision
28:37Mom, Dad, everyone
28:49This is Kiss
28:50My date for the prom
28:52Yeah, I know
28:56Calm down, all right
28:57So, Kate
28:59Which one's your date?
29:03All of them
29:04What?
29:05Okay
29:06Why don't you boys come in and have a seat?
29:08Hmm?
29:09A kiss doesn't sit
29:10Come on
29:11Don't be stupid
29:13These are like the gods of rock
29:15You should be, like, down her knees
29:18Hi
29:18Yeah
29:19Hey, hey, hey
29:21Why don't you show a little respect for your mother?
29:23Hey, sure
29:24Whatever you say
29:25Now, get lost
29:26You got it
29:28Just got strangled by Kiss
29:30Woo!
29:30Woo!
29:34Aren't they adorable?
29:36Don't we make a cute couple?
29:37A cute couple of what?
29:39There's a good thing
29:39Oh, stop it
29:40They are too cute
29:41Look at you
29:42You look like a little kitty
29:44You hear it
29:45You know what?
29:46Let me tell you something
29:47I think it's about time I played the father here
29:49Dad, don't start
29:50You're gonna ruin everything
29:51Katie?
29:51Katie?
29:52No, Dad
29:53Katie?
29:53Katie?
29:54I know you don't think I'm a very hep dad
29:57But I know who Kiss is
29:58And I know what Kiss is all about
30:00And I'm still a dad
30:02And I've got some dad questions to ask
30:04So
30:07Kiss
30:09What do you think you have to offer my little girl?
30:14I don't want to
30:19No
30:19You are not going out to me
30:21That's it
30:22No, no, no
30:23Katie?
30:23You're gonna ruin my film
30:24I knew you're gonna ruin everything
30:26I knew
30:26I don't want to
30:28I don't want to
30:28You want to
30:29Pike down?
30:29Pike down right now
30:30Now, I know my daughter is not exactly a virgin
30:35Dad!
30:37Oral sex doesn't count
30:38The fact of the matter is
30:44There are four of you fellas
30:45And one of this little lady here
30:47And I draw the line at the lobby
30:50Having sex with her
30:51Don't worry
30:52All four of us aren't having sex with her
30:56Well, thank God for that
30:57It's Jean's turn tonight
31:00Oh, no
31:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no
31:03This date is canceled
31:04Daddy, no
31:05Don't you dare to me
31:07Don't you dare to me
31:09You march right upstairs
31:10And take off that prong
31:11I don't want to
31:12Take it off
31:13We'll help
31:14All right
31:14You watch it
31:15You watch your mouth
31:16Daddy, don't yell a kiss
31:18What's going on down here?
31:20Hello, kiss
31:21Emma
31:22It's been a long, long, long, long time
31:27Mom, mom, you know these guys?
31:28Oh, well, you can say that
31:30I've swallowed a few swords in my day
31:34You guys slept with my mom?
31:41When did this happen?
31:431931
31:44Kiss is eternal
31:47Hey, Emma, you want to go to the prom?
31:54Detroit Rock City
31:55Here I go
31:56Kiss
31:57I can't believe it
31:59My mom had sex with Kiss
32:02Now my daughter's going to have sex with Kiss
32:04Well, what says we're making a hat trick?
32:06You got room for one more?
32:10There's always room for the ladies
32:11Let's go
32:12Oh, mom, you're the best
32:14Uh-huh
32:15Uh-huh
32:16We'll see
32:17Bye-bye, Hank, don't wait up
32:20Hey, hey, you have them back by 11 o'clock
32:22Three
32:24Three, three's fine
32:25Just so long as we're on the same page
32:26Bye, daddy
32:27Hey, mom
32:29Be careful of that new hip
32:30Hey, mom
32:31Be careful of that new hip
32:55Okay
32:55Just be strong, never, okay?
32:57Just be strong
32:57And keep you cool
32:59Keep you cool and keep it together
33:00That's okay?
33:01Okay
33:01Okay
33:02Okay
33:02Okay, it's cool
33:03Ah!
33:08Oh, my God
33:09This is you, Jenny
33:10You bastards
33:12And he's still pinned
33:17Ah!
33:22Mace is dead, too!
33:23I'm not dead
33:27I'm just chilling
33:29Oh, I think this is the part where I find out where the killer is
33:46Michael Jackson
33:52Michael Jackson
33:54Michael Jackson
33:56Michael Jackson
33:58Now I know what Marilyn Manson was trying to tell us
34:01That's right, Debra
34:02See, I am a master of disguise
34:06Ah, see, it all makes perfect sense now
34:09See, all the people you killed were pop stars
34:11And you can't do it with your music anymore
34:14Shut up!
34:16This is my moment
34:17You see, all the people I killed were pop stars
34:20And I can't do it with my music anymore
34:23So I decided to kill everyone who is more popular than me
34:25That way, I'll be on top once again
34:27And now that you know my secret
34:30You must die
34:32No, no, no
34:33Oh, my ankle
34:37What happened?
34:49What?
34:49Debra?
34:51Debra, I was just kidding
34:52Where am I?
34:55This is insane
34:56This is psycho
34:57You want psycho?
34:59Sighto
35:00You're in our world now
35:01Come
35:02Kiss
35:04Well, it ain't Hootie and the Blowfish, Bubble Boy
35:11You're going down
35:13So to speak
35:14Suck on this
35:16My nose
35:21You knocked off my nose
35:24Monsters
35:25You think you can take me?
35:32You've never faced a man who's got the strength of a thousand small boys
35:36Oh!
35:53This isn't good
35:54You wouldn't hit an innocent kid, would you?
36:01With glasses
36:02Nice try, Jackson
36:05Oh, look!
36:09I can fly!
36:10Oh!
36:13All right
36:14Kiss, please
36:15Wait, wait, wait
36:16Wait
36:17This is crazy
36:18Woohoo!
36:19I'm a lover, not a fighter
36:24Now
36:24I know
36:25I made a big, big mistake
36:27Killing all those people
36:28I admit it
36:30But
36:31Even though you rock huge, hard ass
36:33And I'm
36:34Well
36:35Different
36:36The world is supposed to be about love
36:40That's why
36:43That's why
36:43I'm turning myself in
36:46Right after I destroyed you
36:53And now I want you to leave my army
37:02That's it
37:10It's time to recruit
37:11No!
37:24No!
37:26No, children
37:27No!
37:28No!
37:29No!
37:30No!
37:30Back away, kids.
37:35You give freaks a bad name.
37:38Any last words?
37:40Come on.
37:41Whatever the hell that means.
37:43Let's rock and roll.
37:56It's gone.
37:58For now.
37:59He'll be back.
38:01He always comes back.
38:03And when he does, call us.
38:05Kiss will be there.
38:18From one of the most acclaimed adult film directors of our time.
38:23Saving Ryan's Privates.
38:26Hey, roomie.
38:27I haven't seen Ben.
38:29I don't know where he is.
38:30So quit asking me, you psycho.
38:33Intensity.
38:34Man!
38:35Hey, I got some Hershey bars with almonds.
38:49What did you get?
38:50I got a popcorn bowl.
38:53I, uh, I got a grape-zatz.
39:00What'd you get?
39:01I got a rock.
39:03I got a rock.
39:05Well, I love rock.
39:11All right, Nestor, get on up there and ring that bell, and don't forget to say trick or tree.
39:32Oh, this is going to be so much fun.
39:33Oh, this is going to be so much fun.
39:35But, father, isn't this where the crazy guy who just got out of prison lives?
39:41Now, Nestor, just because somebody's been in prison doesn't make him crazy.
39:45See?
39:46He's probably got lots and lots of candy in there.
39:49Yeah, but I...
39:51Go ahead.
39:52But I...
39:53Nestor, there's nothing to be scared of.
39:55Halloween is all about fun.
39:57You just need to ring the doorbell.
40:00Well, I'm not sure...
40:01Now, you don't want to go home with an empty Halloween bag, do you?
40:03But I...
40:04Why, when I was your age, I'd have three full sacks of candy by now.
40:07I...
40:07Go on, little buddy.
40:08Give it a whirl.
40:09Oh, but I...
40:10Dad, I think...
40:11Go ahead.
40:12But, but, father...
40:14Go ahead.
40:17Go ahead.
40:19Go ahead.
40:21Little Nestor, little Nestor, he's a little boy.
40:44Go ahead.
40:51Thanks to all of you for being here with us tonight, and a special thanks to...
41:11Yes!
41:12Thank you, everybody.
41:13Yes!
41:13Tonight, let's go!
41:18Yes!
41:20Yes!
41:22Yes!
41:23Yes!
41:24Yes!
41:25Yes!
41:26Yes!
41:27Yes!
41:28Yes!
41:29Yes!
41:30Yes!
41:32Yes!
42:03Oh my God, it's a ghost! It's a scary ghost!
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