- 3 hours ago
Season 3 Episode 6
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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00:01You are now watching MADtv!
00:05MAD!
00:07Hey, homeowner!
00:08Are you tired of all the brushes, rollers, and sprayers it takes to paint your house?
00:12Of course you are!
00:14Ever wish there was just one utensil to get the job done?
00:17Well, now there is!
00:19Introducing Farrah Fawcett's Body Brush 2000!
00:23Yeah!
00:25Farrah's amazing new video shows you how to turn your own naked body
00:29into a revolutionary painting machine!
00:32On this easy-to-follow tape, Farrah will teach you how to paint a wall!
00:35Just the right technique, just the right pressure!
00:38Coat after coat, you'll love every educational moment!
00:41You're bad!
00:43And what about those hard-to-reach corners?
00:45They're a snap with Farrah at the brush!
00:47Farrah will show you how to stencil an entire breakfast nook in just 15 minutes!
00:52Remember, as Farrah always says...
00:55This video is about...
00:57You know, what's that word when you do this?
01:00Hey, I sat on my sandwich!
01:04What Farrah's trying to say is that if you want to paint the easy way, then this video's for you!
01:08What are you staring at?
01:10You're bad!
01:12And if you call now, we'll include a free copy of Farrah's barbecue cooking video, Hot Ribs!
01:17Talk about saucy! Operators are waiting to take your call!
01:21Does anybody else hear that?
01:32Hello?
01:34What tape?
01:36This video cannot be sold to anyone under 18 years of age!
01:39If I don't hang up, I'm going to cry!
01:41If I don't hang up, I'm going to cry!
01:46I'm going to cry!
01:49Man!
01:50Come on!
01:51Yeah!
01:52Yeah!
01:53Come on!
01:54Come on!
01:55Man!
01:56You're so...
01:58Man!
01:59Crazy!
02:03Man!
02:07Man!
02:08Tonight on MADtv, special guests Corky and the Juice Pigs,
02:19The Clintons, and Brent the Hitman Hart.
02:21We are now watching MADtv.
02:38Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, all my brothers, y'all are all my brothers
02:57and sisters.
02:58Welcome to another episode of MADtv, and the show is as fly as my wardrobe, huh?
03:08Let me strike an auntie pose.
03:15This goes out to my auntie.
03:18Stay tuned.
03:26Wait, Nicole, guess what I'm thinking of now.
03:28What?
03:29Oh my God, that's hysterical.
03:38Good evening.
03:46I'm Bernard Shaw, and welcome to another presidential town meeting, live from New Haven, Connecticut.
03:52Today, President Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton will be answering questions from Yale
03:56University political science majors.
03:59Thank you very much, Bernard.
04:00Good evening, my fellow Americans.
04:02Hillary and I are extremely pleased to be here tonight to answer all of your questions.
04:05We have our first question.
04:07Yes, President Clinton, my name is Beth Posner, and I'm a sophomore.
04:10Nice to meet you, Beth.
04:11I just wanted to know what steps your administration is taking to make sure that the Middle East
04:15peace process gets back on track.
04:17Well, Secretary of State Albright is currently meeting with Israeli and Palestinian leaders.
04:22We will not kowtow to the cancer of terrorism.
04:26There's another one right there, Bernard.
04:28Mr. President, my name is Jason Smith, and I'm a senior.
04:32How do you do, Jason?
04:32I was just wondering, do you feel you'll ultimately have to face Paula Jones in court to answer
04:37her charges of sexual harassment?
04:39Okay, Jason, I appreciate your question, but we are limiting this evening's topics to current
04:43political issues, either at home or abroad.
04:46Well, what about the broad at home that you cheated on?
04:50Okay, hold on, hold on.
04:52He does have a point there.
04:54Bill, if I may, Miss Paula Jones has lodged many false accusations.
04:59Well, I think Bill had a little something lodged in Miss Jones.
05:02Oh!
05:03Oh!
05:04You do not know what happens in my house.
05:09Okay.
05:10But I have a pretty good idea what doesn't happen in your house.
05:13Oh!
05:14All I'm saying, all I'm saying is why would my man go get a cheap corndog on the side
05:20when he has this tasty tenderloin waistband?
05:23Audience, audience, huh?
05:30Is this a happy couple?
05:31Yes, we are.
05:32You're playing yourself, okay?
05:33Let me tell you something, okay?
05:34He thinks just because he's commander-in-chief that he's all that in a bag of chips.
05:38Let me tell you something, lady.
05:39The bag is stale.
05:40Throw it out.
05:40Okay, no, no.
05:41No, no.
05:42My man.
05:42Hey, my man.
05:43My man.
05:44Please, throw it out.
05:45My man.
05:46Please.
05:46My man would never dog me out.
05:49Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you, is Hillary telling the truth?
05:55Do you believe it?
05:58All right.
05:58All right.
05:59We have a surprise for Bill and Hillary.
06:02There's someone here who might have an opinion on some of this.
06:05Ladies and gentlemen, Paula Jones.
06:07Oh!
06:10Oh!
06:12Oh!
06:12Oh!
06:14Hmm.
06:15No one told me it was white trash day.
06:18Oh!
06:20Wait a minute, Hillary.
06:21I came here so you'd know the truth.
06:23He is a no-good cheat.
06:24Mm-mm-mm.
06:25Talk to the elbows, because the ears ain't listening, baby.
06:30Now, Paula, I understand you have an announcement to make.
06:33That's right, Bernard.
06:35I'm carrying the president's pipe.
06:37No, that's right.
06:38Oh!
06:38Shut up!
06:39No, no, no, no, no.
06:40She is a lying tramp.
06:43That baby's father could be anyone with ten bucks and a back seat.
06:46Oh!
06:47No, no, no, no!
06:48I think you have me confused with your momma, First Lady.
06:53Oh, I mean, Frost Lady, you frigid bitch!
06:55Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
06:56Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
06:57Hey, I did not take anything from the Chinese.
07:00Just want to make that clear.
07:01Okay, I would rather be frigid than some swap-meat slut.
07:06Whoa, hey, Chelsea's getting straight A's.
07:08We are so proud of her.
07:09You, you need to spend more time being a wife
07:13and less time embarrassing our country
07:14with your stupid haircut.
07:17Janet Reno's not a man.
07:21You know, someone needs to keep the president happy
07:24while she's away being indicted, okay?
07:27I don't know where she gets off telling me how to do my job.
07:29I don't go to a whorehouse and tell her how to do her!
07:34All right, can we have some decorum, please?
07:38This is a presidential town meeting.
07:42Bill, the stank hoe or the frostbitch?
07:46Which one will it be?
07:48Bill, Bill.
07:50Hillary, it looks like Bill is waffling again.
07:54I don't know.
07:56Paula says she is carrying his child.
07:58I am.
08:00What do you want to do, Hillary?
08:03I'll take him back tomorrow.
08:05I just love him so much, my man.
08:07Why don't we take a break?
08:10We'll be back after this.
08:12Stay tuned for more of
08:13My Man is a Big Fat Presidential Hoenn Dog.
08:17Hi, I'm Bernard Shaw.
08:20And we're looking for topics for future presidential town meetings.
08:22So if you're the daughter of a former governor of Arkansas and you think your mother is emasculating your father in public and that she needs a makeover, we want to hear from you.
08:31Hello, boys and girls of America.
08:41Please help me welcome our bestest friends in the whole wide world, Corky and the Juice Pigs.
08:46The song we'd like to play for you now is a love song, a song for all the lovers out there, lovers of peace and lovers of Wales and lovers of pieces of Wales.
09:05He lived by the sea, the dolphin boy, and he loved the dolphins that swam so free.
09:29The dolphin boy, the dolphin boy, he was at one with the ocean, the dolphins he loved with devotion, and he could not hide his emotion.
09:46The dolphin boy, so he abandoned the land up above.
09:56Oh, the dolphin boy, so he could be with the mammals he loved.
10:05Oh, the dolphin boy, he was fulfilled in heart and mind.
10:13He was at one with all dolphin kind, and he knew God's greater design.
10:20The dolphin boy, the dolphin boy, then he was hit by a boat.
10:33The dolphin boy, the dolphin boy, he was torn wide open from groin to throat.
10:43The dolphin boy, he said to the dolphins, please help me.
10:50The dolphin boy, the dolphin boy, he said to the dolphins, please help me.
10:54And he nibbled the pieces as they drifted free.
10:58Goodbye to dolphin boy.
11:02So long to dolphin boy.
11:08Heogene created the dolphin boy among the lake.
11:10Close the sunset.
11:12www.race
11:13www.race
11:15www.race
11:28www.race
11:29www.race
11:33www.race
11:37T.V.
11:38MADE!
11:41Nicolas Cage won an Academy Award for his devastating performance as a suicidal alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas.
11:47Now he brings the same brutal honesty to his latest role.
11:52Everybody wanted a piece of me.
11:55And I couldn't handle it.
11:57Not without a blast to smooth it all out.
12:00A couple of drinks.
12:02And I'd save the world for you.
12:05That's right.
12:05Nicolas Cage's Superman in Leaving Metropolis.
12:10Please don't kill me.
12:12Give me a purse and you won't get hurt.
12:15Look, it's Superman.
12:17You're going to get it now.
12:19Here I come to save the day.
12:25Oh, shit.
12:28Superman.
12:30Super wino.
12:32Thanks a lot, Superman.
12:33It's our mightiest hero in his most challenging adventure, with as much edge and inner turmoil as Nicolas Cage can muster.
12:45Mark, we need to talk.
12:47Chief, just the guy I wanted to see.
12:51I'm going to finish that story.
12:58Uppity women's liver refuses Superman's help and gets purse stolen.
13:03That's a catchy headline there, Kent, but it's not what I wanted to talk to you about.
13:07Well, you know you can talk to me, Perry.
13:10I love you like you're a dad.
13:11I don't know, Clark.
13:13It's just that you haven't been acting like yourself lately, that's all.
13:16Oh.
13:18That's very interesting, Perry.
13:21Who do you think I am?
13:24I don't know, Clark.
13:25It's just that I just know something's wrong.
13:27So, you don't think I'm Superman, do you?
13:41Please, Clark, get real.
13:44Superman.
13:50There you are, Clark.
13:51Hello, yes.
13:52Boy, Clark, do I have a scoop for you.
13:54There's some kind of monster tearing up City Hall.
13:56Oh, well, let's roll.
13:58Okay.
14:02Clark, you coming?
14:05Clark, is there something wrong?
14:22Oh, my.
14:25Oh, my.
14:26He's taking it one day and one monster at a time.
14:31Oh, he's fucking fucking stuck there.
14:42Come on, you fucking...
14:44100 proof excitement.
14:50No, his real name is Bruce Wayne.
14:56See?
14:57And he's got a bad cave under his house.
15:04Intoxicating action.
15:05Hey, can I speak to Marcy, please?
15:09Marcy, hi.
15:11Marcy, hi.
15:13I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the guy that flew you and your jeep out of that volcano.
15:22Yes, Superman, but of course...
15:26You won't be sleeping this one off.
15:30Hey, can I...
15:32Can I speak to Batman, please?
15:35Oh, hey, buddy.
15:36Oh, hey, buddy.
15:38Sound different on the phone.
15:40Listen...
15:41Buddy, I may have fucked up and told somebody about your bat cave.
15:48If you...
15:49Hold on a second, huh?
15:52I'm on the fucking phone here!
15:56Oh, Lois.
15:57Superman, am I very glad to see you.
16:00Oh, likewise...
16:01Superman, you have to save me from the monster.
16:03Oh, Lois.
16:05Why fight the monster?
16:07Oh, Superman!
16:10Honestly, this isn't anything like you.
16:13Oh?
16:15What was it like?
16:18Clark Kent, maybe?
16:20Clark Kent?
16:21Superman, you have to be joking.
16:26Oh.
16:26Join us this summer as the Man of Steel takes flight against his toughest enemy.
16:33Hi.
16:35My name is Clark.
16:37I'm an alcoholic.
16:39Hi, Superman.
16:39Hi, Superman.
16:42Did you just call me?
16:44Did you just...
16:45Oh, f***.
16:47Leaving Metropolis.
16:49Uncourt the action with Superman in 97.
16:52A very good year.
16:56How is he, doctor?
17:03He's, uh, not going to make it through the night.
17:05What is it?
17:07It's the big one.
17:08There's nothing you can do?
17:10I'm afraid not.
17:11I'm sorry.
17:15Wait.
17:16There is one man who just might be able to help.
17:19Well, please tell us who that is.
17:20Get me, Barry White.
17:23Barry White to room 236.
17:25Barry White to room 236.
17:27But Barry White's not a doctor.
17:29You're right.
17:30He's a singer.
17:31Yes, but where modern medicine has failed, Barry White's incredibly sexy voice just might
17:36be able to coax the infected cells right out of his body.
17:39I hear there's a sick little boy in this room.
17:48Thank you so much for coming, Mr. White.
17:50Ain't no big thing.
17:51I was in between making love anyway.
17:53Can you save our little boy?
17:55I don't know.
17:56But one thing's for sure.
17:58I'm gonna get everybody hot trying.
18:00Hey, Cancer, what you doing in this little boy's body?
18:05You know you don't belong in there.
18:07And I want to know.
18:09Oh, yeah, Cancer, I want to know.
18:12Won't you be nine tonight?
18:16Stand back.
18:18It's time for a smooth operation.
18:22Cancer, I'm gonna drive you out of this boy bed.
18:28Oh, I know, oh, I know, oh, I know.
18:35Gonna drive you out of this boy now.
18:40Oh, Cancer, Cancer.
18:43Cancer, Cancer.
18:45Leave him, leave him.
18:47Leave him, leave him.
18:49And don't you ever come back.
18:52Oh, no.
18:56Barry White.
18:57What are you doing here?
19:00You did it.
19:01He's in complete remission.
19:03And how?
19:04Oh, Bobby.
19:07Well, I gotta go.
19:10Gotta go sing some cats out of some trees.
19:12Y'all stay sexy.
19:14Thank you, Barry White.
19:15Coming up.
19:25Coming up.
19:25Coming up next on MADtv.
19:28You know what I hate?
19:29What?
19:30Hey, hey, hey.
19:31You hear about Autumn Jackson?
19:33She say Cosby's her daddy.
19:35You know what I love?
19:37What?
19:38Brett the Hitman Hart.
19:39Oh, my God.
19:42You are now watching MADtv.
19:53Hey, where the hell is Lauren at?
19:55Well, he called and said he was on his way.
19:57He probably got lost.
19:59Hey, he's been lost his whole life.
20:01Oh, my God.
20:03Do you guys remember the vest he wore last year?
20:06Darn thing needed volume control.
20:09This is so bad.
20:11Hello.
20:11Hey, it's Lauren.
20:13Hey there, buddy.
20:14There you go.
20:15I'm from Popcorn.
20:16Quit pitching.
20:17Okay, you two.
20:18That's enough.
20:19Let me take a look at you.
20:21Fix your...
20:21Wait.
20:21What's that on your shirt?
20:22What?
20:23What?
20:23Oh!
20:24Mom, Mom, I hate to interrupt everybody's laughter here, but I'm bringing a friend to this
20:30year's Thanksgiving dinner.
20:32Oh?
20:32I want you to meet the five-time WWF world champion, Brett the Hitman Hart.
20:48How's it going?
20:50Heard a lot about you.
20:52Great.
20:53Great.
20:53Yeah, that's right.
20:54I told him everything.
20:55Uh, uh, everything?
20:57Oh, yeah.
20:59So why don't we just sit down and have a good time?
21:00Okay.
21:01Okay.
21:01Why don't you sit over next to the Hitman?
21:03Sweetie, sit next to the Hitman.
21:04Mommy said to sit next to the Hitman.
21:06Sit next to the Hitman.
21:08Here.
21:08Have a seat.
21:09Wait.
21:09So, stupid head get off thinking he can bring some goon home for dinner.
21:14It's stupid.
21:16What did you say, Vera?
21:17Nothing.
21:18I wasn't talking to you, sir.
21:20My friend asked you a question, Missy.
21:25So why don't you just answer him?
21:26Okay.
21:26Oh, dear.
21:28Thanks.
21:28Um, well, I just thought that it was, um, kind of strange that he brought a stranger for dinner.
21:36What are you, a cop?
21:37No.
21:39But you're a pincher, aren't you?
21:41Why don't you pinch me?
21:42Go ahead.
21:42Give me a pinch.
21:46That's not a pinch.
21:47This is a pinch.
21:48Oh, my God.
21:51Oh, look what he did to your sister.
21:54Why did you bring him here?
21:55You want to know why?
21:56Because Brett the Hitman Hart from the WWF is my friend.
22:00He likes me.
22:01He sticks up for me.
22:02So now maybe you people will think twice about being so super mean to me all the time.
22:06Hold on a second, son.
22:07I'll just have a seat right here.
22:10Sit down.
22:11Yeah.
22:12You guys think you're so funny, don't you, huh?
22:14Always mocking me and making fun of everything I do.
22:17The tables have turned now, though, huh?
22:19Haven't they?
22:20How does it feel, huh?
22:21How about you, Dad?
22:22Why don't you tell them a story about me peeing the bed over at Grandma's house?
22:26I, uh, I, I, I don't know what you're talking about.
22:28Oh, I think you do.
22:29I'll tell you.
22:29I don't know what you're talking about.
22:31You know, I hate liars.
22:33They insult my intelligence.
22:35Now, my friend asked you a question.
22:36Why don't you answer it?
22:39You know, big man, if you don't want to come clean, you don't have to come clean.
22:44We can do this thing right here, right now.
22:46All right.
22:47You want to hear something right now?
22:48You want to know something?
22:49I have had just about enough of this.
22:51You want to do this?
22:52Let's go right now.
22:54Come on.
22:55I want to see how tough you are.
22:57Brett the Hitman Hart.
22:58Come on.
22:58You want to do it?
22:59Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it.
23:01Get it, get it, get it.
23:23Let that be a lesson to you, I'm sick and tired of all the crap that this family's
23:52given me, and I'm not going to take it anymore.
23:59And if anybody's got a little problem with that, then take it up with my friend, Brett
24:04the Hitman Hart from the WWF.
24:13Excuse me, um, Lauren, could I say something?
24:16No.
24:18Oh, it's kind of nice to me sometimes.
24:21Okay.
24:23Um, Lauren, uh, on behalf of myself, your father, and the rest of the family, I would like
24:30to apologize for the way that we've treated you, and I would like to ask your permission
24:35for a chance to make it up to you, and to show you how much we love you.
24:40Uh, okay.
24:41Yeah, we sure do love you, son.
24:42Yes, we do.
24:43We've always loved you, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren.
24:45Oh, there we go, yeah.
24:47Okay, Brett, the Hitman Hart from the WWF.
24:52I guess your work here is done.
24:55No, I don't want to have to come back.
24:56Hey, we don't want you to come back.
24:57I mean, I mean, you know what I mean.
24:58You know.
24:59So now I want you all to work together to make this family the best there is, the best
25:08there was, and the best there ever will be.
25:11Thank you for coming.
25:15Brett, the Hitman Hart from the WWF.
25:20Happy Thanksgiving.
25:22Bye.
25:28Friends for life, man.
25:30Friends for life.
25:32Get him!
25:32You fair-witting little pockets!
25:35If I ever see you pulling that crap again, I will clothesline your ass to this way!
25:40Oh, my, oh, dear.
25:55Get him right down!
25:56Take him down!
25:57Take him down!
25:58Take him down!
25:59Great!
26:00Yes!
26:01Yes!
26:02Get him!
26:02Get him!
26:03Hold on.
26:03Ladies and gentlemen, MADtv's own Craig Antone.
26:21You know what I hate?
26:23What?
26:24When I get shampoo in my eyes.
26:27Yeah!
26:28Yeah!
26:28Because that means I've got to get conditioner in my eyes or my eyes will get all frizzy.
26:35You know what I hate?
26:37What?
26:38Hanson!
26:39Yeah!
26:42Those androgynous little girly boys are.
26:47Girls like them because they think they're boys.
26:50Boys like them because they think they're girls.
26:53There should be a sign outside their house that says,
26:56You must be this tall to rock.
26:59You know what I hate?
27:01What?
27:03Aliens!
27:03The way they come down and probe you, but they never probe you right away.
27:08They just kind of tease you first.
27:10Big alien teases!
27:12The way they probe my nipples around in circles like that.
27:17If you're going to probe me, why don't you fly me to Roswell and buy me dinner first, you weird alien?
27:22Yeah!
27:24You know what I hate?
27:26What?
27:26Wheel of Fortune!
27:29Wheel of Fortune!
27:33I hate that show!
27:36They should call that show Fat People Guessing!
27:44You know what I love?
27:46What?
27:47Fanta's outfits!
27:49The way they zip up the side or sometimes in the back, but sometimes they kind of cut me a little tight in the arms and I...
27:55You know what I hate?
27:58What?
27:59The moon!
28:00Turn that damn thing off!
28:02I'm trying to sleep!
28:03What?
28:04What?
28:04What?
28:04You know what I hate?
28:22You know what I hate?
28:24What?
28:24Cat food!
28:25What?
28:26There's no cat in it!
28:28Yeah!
28:29Yeah!
28:30Yeah!
28:31You know what I hate?
28:32What?
28:33That guy on the internet.
28:35You know that guy.
28:36Hello!
28:38You have mail!
28:40Goodbye!
28:41I hate that guy.
28:42You know what I hate?
28:43What?
28:44When I go over to my friend's house, he's got that dog there, his dog's in heat and the dog's just kind of going and going on my leg.
28:50Just kind of going and going on my leg, just kind of going and going on my leg, like, oh wait, I like that.
29:04You know what I hate?
29:05What?
29:06Audiences!
29:07Ooh!
29:08I mean, I didn't mean to say audiences, I meant to say child molesters!
29:14Yeah!
29:16The way they're just sitting there, staring at you, waiting for you to tell your next joke like they're God's gift to audiences, I mean, child molesters!
29:28God's gift to child molesters!
29:30You know what I hate?
29:31What?
29:32That guy right there!
29:34Yeah!
29:35Yeah!
29:36Wow!
29:37I hate that guy!
29:41Hey!
29:42Hey, guy!
29:43You know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
29:47Most of the time.
29:48Yeah, you're never coming over to my house again!
29:55Yeah!
29:56Yeah!
29:57Yeah!
29:58Yeah!
29:59Yeah!
30:00Yeah!
30:01Yeah!
30:02Yeah!
30:03Yeah!
30:04Yeah!
30:05Yeah!
30:06Yeah!
30:07Yeah!
30:08Yeah!
30:09Yeah!
30:10Yeah!
30:11Yeah!
30:12Yeah!
30:14Yeah!
30:15Yeah!
30:16Yeah!
30:17Yeah!
30:18Yeah!
30:19Yeah!
30:20Yeah!
30:21Yeah!
30:22Yeah!
30:23Yeah!
30:24Yeah!
30:25Yeah!
30:26Yeah!
30:27Yeah!
30:28Yeah!
30:29Yeah!
30:30Yeah!
30:31Yeah!
30:32Yeah!
30:33Yeah!
30:34Yeah!
30:35Yeah!
30:36Yeah!
30:37Yeah!
30:38You are now watching MADtv.
30:42MAD!
30:48Okay, here we are. You ready, Robbie? Are you ready?
30:51Okay, let's just get your fly down.
30:53Okay, now, quit, quit twisting, Robbie.
30:55Robbie, I said stop it.
30:56Look, do you have to go or not?
30:58Okay. Now, you ready?
31:00Okay, you can go.
31:01Go ahead.
31:02Go ahead.
31:02Whoa! Whoa! Stop it!
31:04Stop! Stop! Stop!
31:05Whoa! That's okay, Robbie.
31:07Let's just get you over the toilet here.
31:09Okay, ready, Robbie?
31:10Do you want to finish?
31:11Ow! Robbie!
31:12Out!
31:13Robbie, are you going to go?
31:14Whoa! Stop it!
31:15Not the shoes, Robbie!
31:16Not the shirt!
31:17Not the face!
31:18Stop it!
31:19Robbie!
31:20Robbie!
31:21That's not funny!
31:22Robbie!
31:23Excuse me.
31:24Hello. Is anybody out there?
31:25Hello?
31:26Yeah.
31:27Oh, good.
31:28Hey, could you hand me some paper towels, please?
31:29I'm sorry.
31:30Robbie, that's enough.
31:31Yeah.
31:32Here you go.
31:33Thanks, man. You're a lifesaver.
31:34Sorry about this.
31:35It's just, you know.
31:36No problem.
31:37All right, Robbie, we're going to try this one more time.
31:39Okay?
31:40Here we go.
31:41Very good.
31:43Good, Robbie.
31:44Are you done?
31:45Okay, what do we do now?
31:47Shake.
31:48Good.
31:49All right.
31:50Good boy, Robbie.
31:51Zip up and flush and we go wash our hands.
31:53Where's your kid?
31:54What kid?
31:55Where's your kid?
32:18What kid?
32:25He's one of America's best-loved comedians.
32:31Now, Court TV proudly presents Bill Cosby in some of the most outrageous testimony you've
32:36ever heard.
32:37That's right.
32:38We've taken excerpts from Autumn Jackson's recent extortion trial and turned them into
32:42the hilarious new home video to Autumn, who is not my daughter, whose mother I slept with.
32:47Now, you see, I cannot be the father of Autumn Jackson because the Cosby manager is Jackson.
32:55You see, you have to cover each other pudding pops so you don't cover pop.
33:01You'll laugh out loud when the cause testifies on such subjects as blood test, pregnantfulness,
33:08and here's $200 now go away.
33:11And I always cover my pop before I stick my stick into the pudding of Sean Upsaw, my
33:18hand at Williams, Judy, the floor, the woman in the parking lot, and the woman at Denny's,
33:24and the...
33:25You won't want to miss, I'll squash you in court like a bug, and father figure, not father.
33:31Now, the difference between the father and the father figure is, when the father makes
33:39the mother pregnant, the father's figure does not change.
33:44However, when the mother is pregnant, her figure expands greatly.
33:52And if you order now, you also get absolutely free Fat Albert and the Real Cosby Kids.
33:57Hey, hey, hey, you hear about Autumn Jackson?
34:01She say Cosby's her daddy, and she want $40 million.
34:05I've an old badaddy bitch to be beloved.
34:09I was a juror on the second Menendez trial.
34:13This was ten times funnier.
34:15It was a pleasure to work with Mr. Cosby.
34:18Never have I laughed so hard while losing a case.
34:21I tried to extern $40 million, and instead, I got $40 million laughs.
34:27Order, order, order this video.
34:33And like, like, my wife, Camille, for letting me come out and play.
34:39Order now!
34:44You are now watching Mav TV.
34:49Mav!
34:49It is my great pleasure to introduce our next guest.
34:54He's been a major force in popular music for almost 20 years.
34:57Ladies and gentlemen, Lars Stockholm.
35:00All right, thanks so much.
35:12Thanks.
35:13You know, I was going to come here tonight, play a song off my new album, Curious Adventure.
35:22Hey, thanks so much.
35:24Anyway, I was sitting around the house.
35:27I was playing some of the old tunes.
35:28I started reminiscing about a couple of the old folk singers and two naive young guys by the name of Stockholm and Berger.
35:39Thanks so much.
35:42That's right.
35:43You guys rock!
35:44Thank you, sir.
35:46Thank you so much.
35:50Anyway, Johnny Berger and I, we had some fun together.
35:53We wrote some songs, and it's unfortunate Johnny ended up with the problems that he had.
35:58But anyway, I got a call from him.
36:01He's out.
36:02I decided to invite him down here.
36:03He's here.
36:04Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Berger!
36:06Thank you, sir.
36:07Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, big guy.
36:20All right.
36:21Yeah.
36:22Hey, doesn't he look fantastic for all he's been through?
36:29I'm okay.
36:30They finally let you out.
36:31Yeah, well, just weekends.
36:32Yeah.
36:33Right now.
36:33Ladies and gentlemen, Stockholman Berger.
36:35Whoa!
36:37So how long's it been, man?
36:43Oh, probably 1981, after the concert in Boston was the last time.
36:47Right, right, yeah.
36:4820 minutes into the show, you just kind of wigged out.
36:51You just flipped, kind of.
36:52Did you ever find out what happened and what threw you into the cuckoo's nest that night?
36:55He just went woo-hoo.
36:58I just had some things that I, some stuff, but you know, I'm better now, so I don't want to...
37:02Hey, listen, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
37:04I don't want to.
37:05How many people saw the footage of him flipping out?
37:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not, you know, I'm better now, it's, uh...
37:16But in Johnny's defense, he was completely out of his mind at the time, suffering from
37:19severe mental problems, it was a sad thing.
37:22But hey, let's play some music, buddy, what do you say?
37:23Okay, let's play some music.
37:25Let's, uh...
37:26Let's play a little Abigail Blue.
37:27I remember that.
37:28I remember that.
37:30Thanks, sir.
37:31All right.
37:32I don't, Josh, I don't want to...
37:34Take it, take it off.
37:40Sorry, you're doing a little too fast.
37:42Okay, I'm sorry.
37:43Slow it down a teeny bit.
37:44You can do it.
37:45He'll be fine.
37:46He'll be fine.
37:47Here we go.
37:47That's too slow.
37:57It's too slow.
37:57I'm sorry.
37:58I'm just...
37:59I'm sorry to pick it up.
38:00We'd like to finish the song sometime this month.
38:05Here we go.
38:07Okay.
38:07You're Johnny Berger.
38:08I'm sorry.
38:09I'm sorry.
38:09Take it off.
38:10Here we go.
38:10Here we go.
38:17Abigail Blue.
38:22Brad, you're flat.
38:23Okay, I'm...
38:24I don't want to be out here right now.
38:25I shouldn't have come out.
38:26This is a bad idea.
38:27You shouldn't have brought me out.
38:29Just forget about them.
38:30Let's do it.
38:30Okay, I'm sorry.
38:31Okay, I'm trying.
38:32I'm trying.
38:32Don't try.
38:33Just do it, all right?
38:34Trying's for losers.
38:35Let's play the song.
38:37Okay.
38:38Ice cream.
38:39Ice cream.
38:40Ice cream.
38:41Ice cream.
38:42Loser.
38:43Get Mars.
38:44Please.
38:45All right.
38:47Have a girl blue hood.
38:59Running through my dreams.
39:06Got a long way to go.
39:10Next time through the worst and dreams.
39:14When she falls down, I will catch you when she falls.
39:25When she falls down, I will catch you if you fall.
39:30If you fall.
39:31What are you doing?
39:32Don't be a loser.
39:33Hey, buddy.
39:33Are you okay?
39:34I hate you so much.
39:36Oh, here we go again.
39:38Really great.
39:38He stole my life.
39:46He stole my life.
39:48He stole my life.
40:13Sometimes we know our people.
40:16Sometimes we don't.
40:18Sometimes we don't.
40:18Hopefully we won't notice so much Saturday night.
40:21Watch it.
40:51Thanks for watching.
40:52Good night.
41:21No! No!
41:23No!
41:25No!
41:27No!
41:29No!
41:31No!
41:33No!
41:35No!
41:37No!
41:39The Stanko or the Frostbidge? Which one will it be?
41:41Does anybody else hear that?
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