- 3 hours ago
Season 4 Episode 4
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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TVTranscript
00:00I am Mark McGuire.
00:25And I am Sammy Sosa.
00:28Welcome.
00:30Welcome to MADtv.
00:37I tell you what, Sammy and I had so much fun breaking Roger Maris' home run record
00:42that we decided we'd come here tonight and break another record for you on MADtv.
00:51That's right.
00:52And let me tell you, there is no one that I would rather break a record with than this
00:56man right here, Mr. Mark McGuire.
00:58I respect him so much.
00:59Sammy Sosa.
01:03You want to talk about respect?
01:04You want to talk about love?
01:05Ladies and gentlemen, I love Sammy Sosa so much.
01:08It's crazy.
01:09I love this guy.
01:10I can feel it.
01:11I can feel it.
01:12I can feel the love and respect radiating of this great man, Mark McGuire.
01:18No, no, no.
01:19It's all for you.
01:20It's all for you, Sammy Sosa.
01:21Right back at you.
01:22Right back at you, Mark McGuire.
01:23All right.
01:24Listen, I got a Guinness Book of World Records here and I'm just going to flip through the
01:27pages randomly and...
01:29Somebody, you shout for him to stop.
01:31Yeah.
01:31Shout for him to stop.
01:34Okay.
01:34What record are we going to break?
01:35What record?
01:36We've got Slow Dancing.
01:39Slow Dancing.
01:41What's the record?
01:42The record is 61 hours.
01:46We can break that.
01:48Hey, there's nobody I'd rather break it with than him.
01:55Hey, I love you.
01:57All right.
01:57I love you.
01:58All right.
01:58All right.
01:59Slow Dancing.
01:59Slow Dancing.
02:00Can we have some music, please?
02:08Enjoy the rest of MADtv.
02:09Come on, come on.
02:25Hey, you're so crazy.
02:32Hey, you're so crazy.
02:52You brought me down.
02:54Hey, you're so crazy.
03:02MADtv.
03:03MADtv.
03:06The kids of 90210 are back for one final season.
03:10Brandon, isn't there any way you can serve us here?
03:14Come on, Kelly.
03:14You know the rules.
03:16Not till we're 21.
03:18Featuring the return of Luke Perry as Dylan McKay.
03:21Hey, you guys got room for one more?
03:24Dylan!
03:25Oh, my God!
03:30He's bringing the romance.
03:31I've missed you.
03:35Prove it.
03:39It's okay.
03:42Sorry.
03:43He's bringing the friendship.
03:45I've missed you, dude.
03:55I've missed you, dude.
03:56Prove it.
03:59And he's also bringing the cutlery.
04:02Oh, my God, dear.
04:04This fall, 90210 becomes H90210.
04:11Sure, you stopped watching years ago, but let's face facts.
04:14Kids like watching other kids get killed, and it's way past time that these kids got killed.
04:19I don't know, Dylan.
04:22I don't know if I should break up with David or not.
04:24The thing is, Donna, you've got to follow your heart.
04:29Yo, what's up, Holmes?
04:33David Silva giving a shout-out to Dylan in the house.
04:37Funky, funky brother rapping on the mic.
04:40What's up, man?
04:41Excuse me.
04:42Yo, baby, you look so fine, baby.
04:45Look at those pants, feet, nice.
04:47Ah, yo, yo, yo!
04:49They say it's their last year, but this is the only way to be sure.
04:53Well, that settles that.
04:55Anyways, he always said I was annoying.
04:57You don't think I'm annoying?
04:58Do you think I'm annoying?
05:00A little bit.
05:00Oh, God, that was my favorite word.
05:25Ow!
05:26Oh, come on, it hurts.
05:27Oh, but it's pointy.
05:29Ow!
05:29H-90210.
05:31This season is going to be a killer in this zip code from hell.
05:35Dylan, I think we should stop seeing each other.
05:39Dylan?
05:40Where are you?
05:52Coming this fall on Fox.
05:59You want a dip?
06:10Please.
06:11Please.
06:11Like I said, the governor's really counting on you.
06:38You've got seven days to turn this kid around, Sully.
06:42Seven days.
06:44Isn't that clear?
06:46And it's real clear.
06:47You've made that perfectly, perfectly clear.
06:52Seven days, Sully.
06:53And your ass is mine.
06:56And your ass is mine.
06:56Who got it?
07:09What's up?
07:10Who got that?
07:11He got me.
07:13Who got that?
07:14He got me.
07:15Who got that?
07:16He got me.
07:17Who got it?
07:18He got me.
07:19Who got it?
07:20He got me.
07:21All right.
07:22So here's the loop.
07:25I win. Then you have to sign the papers and go to State College. If I lose, well then you never have to see me again. All you got to do is give me a really big kiss and a really huge hug and I'll be on my way.
07:39Here we go.
08:09Who got gay, he got gay.
08:39Who got gay, coming to a theater near you.
08:56What happened?
08:57Oh, Louie happened is what happened.
08:59What are you talking about?
09:00Your son just socked me one right in the balls.
09:03What did he say?
09:04That's what happened.
09:06I was under the impression that you two were getting along great.
09:08We are, but...
09:09But what?
09:10I mean, you can't love me and not my little boy.
09:13No, no, I love Louie and I definitely love you. It's just that...
09:17Forget about it. Just forget it. I'll be fine.
09:21Fine. I'll be in the backyard.
09:25Okay.
09:26Okay.
09:27Okay.
09:28Okay.
09:29Okay.
09:30Boom.
09:31Oh!
09:32Oh!
09:33Oh!
09:34Mickey, get in here!
09:35What's going on?
09:36Look at this. The kid's trying to hit me in the nuts. It's all he does.
09:38You're exaggerating.
09:39I am not exaggerating.
09:40This is all the kid does. We don't toss the ball around. We don't play video games. Our quality time is spent in between Louie trying to hit me in the nuts and Louie actually hitting me in the nuts.
09:46Louie, come here a minute. Now, do you know that it's only because he likes you?
09:50Honey, a lot of kids like me. They don't all hit me in the nuts.
09:53Hold down, Paul. Come on.
09:54Just keep this kid away from my nads, please,
09:55for God's sakes, I think you encourage it.
09:56Excuse me?
09:57Well, you planted the idea in there.
09:58If you were in there, this is the idea I'd just have to be on the problem.
09:59You really just have to go around. We don't play video games. Our quality time is spent in between Louie trying to hit me in the nuts and Louie actually hitting me in the nuts.
10:12Louie, come here a minute. Now, do you know that it's only because he likes you?
10:18Honey, a lot of kids like me. They don't all hit me in the nuts.
10:21Excuse me?
10:22Well, you planted the idea in his head.
10:24Now what's the boy supposed to think?
10:25Oh, yeah, it's my fault, right?
10:27Sure, it's my fault.
10:28I'm wearing a cast on my scrotum, and somehow it's my fault.
10:32A cast?
10:33Yes, a cast.
10:34Will you please grab this kid?
10:35Please.
10:36Well, he'll grow out of it.
10:38No, he won't.
10:39He'll just grow bigger and faster and stronger.
10:41And I can't take it anymore.
10:42The doctor says that if I get hit one more time...
10:44You told a doctor about this?
10:46Yes.
10:46Do you think I'm wearing some kind of a homemade scrotum cast?
10:50This is a small town.
10:52Now people are all going to think that Louie is some kind of monster.
10:55Well, what did you want me to say, honey?
10:57Do you want me to tell the doctor I ran into a doorknob 140 times in a row?
11:01I'm not the problem here.
11:08Hey, little fella.
11:09I have a package here for your mama.
11:10You want to sign for it?
11:12All right.
11:13There you go.
11:15Have a good day, folks.
11:17See, now, why didn't he hit that guy?
11:20You know, I don't know you, Paul.
11:25You do, too, homie.
11:27I'm the same Paul you fell in love with, except now I've got two grapefruits in my pants.
11:31You know, you wouldn't talk like that if he was your child.
11:34Well, now we may never know, because the doctor says he doesn't know if I can have kids anymore,
11:39and he won't know until the cast comes off.
11:42Seriously?
11:42I am dead serious.
11:44Oh, I'm sorry.
11:45That's horrible.
11:47Well, I wouldn't have brought it up if it weren't important.
11:50I know.
11:51I know.
11:52I'm sorry.
11:54It's just...
11:54You know, I worry about Louis sometimes.
11:59Well, I worry about Louis all of the time.
12:01We'll have a real long talk about this, and if that doesn't work, then we'll get help.
12:07Well, that's all I'm asking.
12:09I'm sorry.
12:11You know, he's all I've got.
12:13Oh, honey, you've got me now.
12:15Call 9-1-1.
12:41All right, Sammy, your turn to leave.
12:43Okay, thanks.
12:45We've got a Dominican rhythm going now.
12:56Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:00Eh.
13:13Maeve!
13:13Look out, Howard Stern.
13:16Donnie and Marie are back to teach you a thing or two about edgy.
13:20Hi, I'm Donnie Osmond.
13:22And I'm Marie.
13:23And our new show is going to be filled with skits and songs.
13:25And farts.
13:27Marie, celebrity interviews.
13:29And farts.
13:31Okay, and farts.
13:33Yeah, big stinky egg ones.
13:35Like this.
13:36The new Donnie and Marie show.
13:44It's a game.
13:45Hi, honey.
13:50Hi, honey.
13:54Hi.
13:54Hi.
13:54Hi.
13:55Mom, can we talk?
13:57You know, just between us girls?
13:58Sounds important.
14:01What's up, kiddo?
14:02Well, it's kind of embarrassing.
14:04I'm your mother.
14:05You can tell me anything.
14:07Well, sometimes I get that not-so-fresh feeling.
14:10Every woman experiences days like that.
14:13Even me.
14:14Wow.
14:15Well, that's comforting to know.
14:19But was that all you wanted to talk about?
14:21Not exactly.
14:23I thought so.
14:24Well, I'm having that problem again.
14:28Are you talking about the rash?
14:30Yeah.
14:31There's nothing to be ashamed of.
14:34Every woman experiences rashes.
14:37Even me.
14:37Really?
14:39Especially during pregnancy.
14:41But what about the yeast infection?
14:44It seems no matter what I try, it just keeps coming back.
14:47I'm the same way.
14:49And can I tell you a secret?
14:51What?
14:52So is my mother.
14:53Grandma?
14:54Really?
14:55So you see, it's perfectly natural.
14:58As natural as...
14:59Talking with your mom about it?
15:01Exactly.
15:05Honey, there's no reason to be embarrassed.
15:08Constipation is a real problem for women.
15:10Even me.
15:12Thanks, Mom.
15:18Hey, Mom.
15:19Yes, honey?
15:20Thanks for talking to me.
15:21Anytime, honey.
15:27Wow.
15:28Look at that view.
15:29Come to Canada.
15:33Anything goes in America's little backyard.
15:36This message has been brought to you by the Canadian Board of Tourism, Education, and Firewall.
15:45Please look again.
15:46I'm looking, Mr. Huber, but I just don't see the reservation.
15:49I know you're looking.
15:50I'm just saying that I know it's there.
15:51My company...
15:52Sir, it's not coming up.
15:52My company reserved...
15:54Sir, can I just say one thing?
15:57Listen, I travel all the time.
15:58Sir, I'm sure you do.
15:58My company told me that the reservation was confirmed.
16:02Sir, please.
16:03Sir, can I just say something?
16:05Sir, would you mind?
16:06Sir, can I just get one word out?
16:08Sir, please.
16:08Sir?
16:08Sir? Sir? If I could just...
16:10Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir? Please! Sir? Sir? Sir?
16:15Sir? If I want to talk, I just can't talk. Sir?
16:18Really, sir?
16:18Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. Go, go, go.
16:24All I can tell you is I've checked the computer, there is no record of your reservation,
16:30and unfortunately we have a Saturn convention in town, so there are no rooms avail...
16:35No rooms avail...
16:36Sir? Sir? Sir? Sir?
16:38No, sir.
16:39No, you, sir.
16:40Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir.
16:41I don't want to be rude here, sir.
16:42I don't want to be rude, sir.
16:44I would love to help, sir.
16:45Sir, sir, can I please?
16:46Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir.
16:53Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I go.
16:54Chad, Chad, Chad, is that your name?
16:56Do you mind if I call you Chad, Chad?
16:57That's fine.
16:58Okay, Chad.
17:03Chad, I've never had a problem at this hotel, and I don't want that to start now.
17:08I understand.
17:09Fine.
17:10And we don't want any unsatisfied customers.
17:12Well, that's terrific, but I have to tell you, Chad, one way or another, I'm getting a room here tonight, and you are going to...
17:18I'm sorry, Mr. Huber.
17:19I don't want to be rude, Chad.
17:20Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir.
17:25Is that my problem here?
17:28Pam, this man claims that...
17:29Claims?
17:30Claims that his company called in a reservation, and I checked it on the computer.
17:34It's not showing up anywhere, and as you well know, we are quite booked up.
17:37Sir, we have a Saturn convention, and unfortunately, sir...
17:41Ma'am, ma'am, sir, sir, sir, sir, could you just check one more thing, if you don't mind?
17:46Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, please, ma'am, please, ma'am, please, ma'am, please, ma'am, please, I'm talking to her, I'm talking to her, I'm talking to her.
18:01Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, please, ma'am, just, no, no, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, stand, ma'am!
18:13Here it is. It was there all along, it was just under a different spelling.
18:20Well, isn't that wonderful?
18:21Great.
18:23Okay.
18:24And here is your key, and the elevators are right around the corner to your right.
18:31Thank you, sir.
18:34Thank you, sir.
18:37Ma'am?
18:37Great.
18:42There you go.
18:49All set.
18:55Bye-bye now.
18:56Bye-bye.
19:01He's not leaving, is he?
19:24No.
19:24Bye-bye now.
19:26Bye-bye now.
19:27Bye-bye now.
19:28Bye-bye now.
19:29Bye-bye now.
19:30Still standing there?
19:32Yeah.
19:37Still?
19:38Just standing there.
19:43How about now?
19:51Still there.
19:52It's just...
19:54Bye-bye now.
20:06Bye-bye now.
20:07Bye-bye now.
20:08Bye-bye now.
20:09Bye-bye now.
20:10Bye-bye now.
20:11Bye-bye now.
20:12Bye-bye now.
20:13Bye-bye now.
20:14Bye-bye now.
20:15Bye-bye now.
20:16Bye-bye now.
20:17Bye-bye now.
20:18Bye-bye now.
20:19Bye-bye now.
20:20Bye-bye now.
20:21Bye-bye now.
20:22Bye-bye now.
20:22Bye-bye now.
20:23Sir, round the corner to your right.
20:53You know what it is to bring you down on the piazza to the court down and come to Daffo.
21:13Watch out, Howard Stern.
21:15Donnie and Marie have been watching your show real carefully, and they've learned a thing or two about funny.
21:20Hey, Marie, why don't you show the folks at home how special our new show is?
21:25You mean like this?
21:26I love Donnie and Marie.
21:31Oh, Marie, not quite that special.
21:34The new Donnie and Marie show.
21:36It's gonna be special, but not quite that special.
21:40Crazy.
21:41You are.
21:42Nora Gary is claiming her hairdresser ruined her wedding day with a perm that made her hair fall out.
21:54She's suing for $150.
21:57Gerard claims he gave Nora what she asked for, and it's not his fault she has weak hair.
22:02So all rise for another edition of Judge Johnson!
22:07Are you ready for Johnson and I?
22:15Are you ready for Johnson and I?
22:20Are you ready for Johnson and I?
22:24Are you ready for Johnson and I?
22:29What's up, y'all?
22:34Welcome to the first night of Judge Johnson Hour!
22:39You know, we have a saying here, Judge Johnson Hour, this ain't just a courtroom.
22:45Hell, it's a party.
22:47So without further ado, let's go on and get this party kicking off.
22:50Please, y'all, no more standing ovations.
22:51Please take a seat, except for mine.
22:54Judge, you bet.
23:00You bet, Sheila.
23:03First up is our plaintiff.
23:05Please show some love for Nora.
23:11Greg, swear her again.
23:13You swear to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
23:17Oh, that was funny.
23:18That's my man, Greg.
23:23He wants to see the plaintiff's briefs.
23:28Woo, Greg, now that's enough.
23:30So, now, Nora, what be bringing you down to Magic's court?
23:38I'm sorry, what?
23:39Be bringing what?
23:40You know, what did he add to bring you down to P.I. to the court down to come to Delfort?
23:44Well, I'm suing him for ruining my hair.
23:49So, in other words, what you're saying is, you went to him to have your hair did.
23:58Fiancee, my fiancee took one look at my head and he called the wedding off.
24:02Well, that has nothing to do with that.
24:03That has nothing to do with my...
24:04Oh, it has everything to do with his life.
24:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Nora.
24:07So, what you're saying here, you went to him to get your hair did.
24:16This isn't working.
24:18This isn't working?
24:19Uh, uh, Bailiff Craig, you're fired.
24:24All right, so now we're going to kick this off with something brand new.
24:27Coming up now is my boy, my main, my ace, Boom Kong.
24:30You've seen him in everything.
24:31He's a very funny comedian.
24:33Show some love to Bailiff Tommy Davidson.
24:37Tommy Davidson, you're crazy.
24:55You're crazy and funny.
24:57And I'm going to tell you something.
24:58Now, this feels good and natural.
25:01Hey, hey, hey, hey, speaking of naturals,
25:03look like somebody got a couple of holes up in her natural.
25:06You know what I'm saying?
25:07Hey, look at his head.
25:08This here's a bozo no-no.
25:15You crazy, Tommy.
25:16You crazy.
25:17Woo, Sheila, what you laughing at?
25:19I don't know, Magic, because he ain't funny, you ain't funny, none of this is funny.
25:28You know something?
25:29At this time, I think we've heard just about enough from our plaintiff.
25:32So at this time, we'd like to hear a little bit from our defensor, but then dad, Jerron.
25:37Jerron, you looking good, feeling good.
25:40Woo, it's all about being good.
25:42Good enough to eat.
25:43Good enough to eat with some grits.
25:44Let's get some grits with my high sauce on it.
25:45Where my spoon at?
25:46Before I bring my spoon, we're going to have some grits.
25:48We're going to have some grits.
25:48Yeah, please, sir, sir.
25:51Oh, yeah, man, go ahead.
25:52I'm sorry, man.
25:52Do your business.
25:53Your Honor, I gave her exactly what she asked for.
25:56She asked for a perm, and I told her her hair was too thin for a perm.
25:59That's when she insisted, and I tried to explain to you.
26:02I tried to explain to you.
26:04Nora, Nora, now I know what it is.
26:07Your head reminds me of a ball I played in 85 championships.
26:11You know, I was dribbling the ball.
26:13You know, Magic scored about 30 points.
26:15I pulled down about 15 rebounds, and I had at least 10.
26:20No luck or six.
26:21Five championships and a half.
26:23That's right.
26:24Five.
26:24I had five championships.
26:26That's right.
26:27But this ain't about the Magic Band.
26:29This is not about Magic.
26:30So at this time, why don't we render for Rye a verdict?
26:34Bailiff Davidson, hand Magic the verdict.
26:37Now, you want the verdict from Tommy, or you want the verdict from Sammy?
26:40Who can take a verdict and lend it to the judge?
26:46I love this man.
26:48Tommy, you crazy.
26:49You don't let Magic get away with nothing.
26:51Okay, come on, come on, Magic, baby.
26:52What's the verdict?
26:53Calm down, Sheila.
26:55The Judge Johnson hour ain't going nowhere.
26:57We're going to be around for a long, long time.
27:00All right.
27:01Magic, get your ass off TV.
27:06We cancel, y'all.
27:08Well, I had a good time.
27:12It was fun while it lasted, but now that I think about it, I want to do a sitcom.
27:16As a matter of fact, I think that's what I'm going to do, make me a sitcom.
27:20Sheila, I know you got some theme music for me.
27:22I know you got some theme music for me, but now that I think about it, I know you got some theme music for me, but now that I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it, I think about it,
28:52I want you to finish that.
28:53Too full.
28:55I work all day to put pudding on this table.
28:57You take one bite, toss it aside, and then open another one?
28:59No, that is not the way it's going to be.
29:01Why is this happening to us?
29:03Guys, we've called this family meeting to talk about what happened last night.
29:10We were too hard on you, and we're sorry.
29:13But we do have a problem on our hands, and we have to deal with it.
29:17I'm sorry about the pudding.
29:19Me too.
29:19I know.
29:20And we've got to stop blaming each other.
29:22Just face this pudding problem head on.
29:25As a family.
29:27All together.
29:29Together.
29:30Together.
29:35Henry, what's wrong?
29:37Honey, why are you up so late?
29:38I'm just going over these bills, and I can't make the numbers work.
29:43Well, we can try.
29:45It'll be okay.
29:46No, it won't.
29:48We spend so much money on pudding, we don't finish.
29:51Please.
29:53College around the corner right now.
29:54Henry, I need you to take a walk.
29:58Henry.
30:11This pudding is ruining our lives.
30:14You've got to help me.
30:16I can't lie to you, Henry.
30:17You have a very serious problem on your hands.
30:20It's tearing us apart, and I can't stop it.
30:24My family is in danger, and I can't fix it.
30:28I feel so worthless.
30:30No one is worthless in the eyes of God, Henry.
30:33As it says in the Bible,
30:36be neither a slave nor a master to pudding.
30:39There is a time to gather, and a time to cast pudding away.
30:44Does it really say that?
30:45Yes, it does.
30:47Can I see it?
30:48No.
30:50Why not?
30:51I have to go.
30:54Oh, my God.
31:00Henry.
31:01Henry, no.
31:04No.
31:06Let me go.
31:07I want to die.
31:09Henry, no.
31:10This isn't the way.
31:12God.
31:13I can't do anything, please.
31:15I am not going to let pudding destroy our family.
31:29There is a way.
31:33Do you trust me?
31:34Hey, Mom.
31:54What's for dessert?
31:56Nothing, sweetheart.
31:57Nothing at all.
31:59Please submit for your approval.
32:08One family stuck in the mind of the pudding.
32:12You see, it is not the pudding's fault because the pudding is delicious.
32:16You see, the thing about the pudding is, when you open the lid, you have got to finish the pudding.
32:23If you don't, you've got to put the pudding back in the fridge.
32:25You've got to take the pudding back.
32:26You've got to take the pudding back.
32:27You've got to take the pudding back in the fridge.
32:29You see.
32:29And if you don't put the pudding in the fridge, then you are a dumb person.
32:37And dumb people have bad consequences.
32:40Now, by this time, you are not taking control of the pudding.
32:44The pudding has control of you.
32:48And that's when you find yourself in the Cosmic Zone.
32:53No.
32:59Hey, Howard Stern, better put your kids to bed, because Donnie and Marie are back, and
33:06they're way too edgy for kids.
33:09Hurry up, Donnie.
33:10Put it in.
33:10Okay, give me a minute, Marie.
33:12I'm trying to find the hole.
33:13Oh, here.
33:15Oh, I think it's in.
33:16Okay.
33:17Okay, now start screwing.
33:20Oh, it's real tight.
33:21Oh, shut up.
33:22It's not like you've never done this before.
33:24Oh, yeah.
33:25Okay, you got it.
33:25Okay, that's it.
33:26Yeah?
33:27That's it.
33:27Okay.
33:28Ugh!
33:29Well, what'd you think we were doing?
33:32F***.
33:34The new Donnie and Marie, still screwing around after all these years.
33:45Miss Swan, can you hear me?
33:47Yeah, okay.
33:48I hypnotize, not deaf, you know.
33:52Your mother hasn't tried to kill you since Wednesday.
33:55What?
33:55Herod, you bitch!
34:00And now, a Mad TV classic.
34:16Charlie Frown, you're a blockhead.
34:18Yeah?
34:19Well, you're a filthy f***.
34:20I am not.
34:22Oh, yeah?
34:23You're such a filthy f*** that when you walk down the street, people say, damn, that kid's
34:28a filthy f***.
34:29Hey, Charlie Frown, I've got an idea.
34:33Why don't I hold this football and you run up and kick it?
34:36You're just going to pull it away and I'm going to fall on my ass.
34:41I promise I won't pull it away this time.
34:45Okay.
34:51Arf!
34:52That wasn't a football.
34:54That was dog b***h.
34:56Ha ha ha!
34:58Whoa, dude.
35:00That piece of dog b***h looks like the profile of Golden Globe award-winning actress Linda Blair.
35:05It's a sign from God.
35:07I'm the Chosen One.
35:10I'm the new Messiah.
35:12Good grief.
35:14What a sick b***h.
35:17Schloder, did you know that God has selected me to lead all of South Park Nuts to the gates
35:22of heaven?
35:24You can be my acolyte, worship me, and build me a temple.
35:29Hmm?
35:30Please.
35:31Don't you want to worship me?
35:33You're not Jewish like Charlie Frown, are you?
35:37That's right.
35:38Screw you, butt munch.
35:41Get off!
35:43Ew!
35:45Ah!
35:46Germs!
35:47I've been humped by a dog!
35:49Black!
35:52Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
35:55Auto-erotic asphyxiation.
35:58A-U-T-O-E-R-U.
36:05I am not a blockhead.
36:11I'm small-bodied.
36:13Attention!
36:15Attention!
36:16I, your God, command you to attend the World Revelation Convocation after school.
36:24Dress will be casual.
36:25what's up with your sister dude now she's saying she's god
36:31you're right she's a fat ass it's time to get gone people here is the great punch which will
36:44take us to the promised land here you go messiah ah the sound of cyanide the sound of cold hard
36:54poison a whiff of bitter almond I love it this punch is strong children it's got a kick just like
37:07sweet love this is up they're gonna kill themselves we've got to do something
37:13they killed slinus you bastards
37:24rats what are you gonna do about it charlie frown you're nothing but a blockhead
37:34i am not a blockhead i have a festively large cranium charlie frown's a big blackhead a big blackhead a
37:43big blackhead the biggest blackhead in the whole wide world on monday tuesday he's blackhead wednesday
37:48through saturday he's a blackhead charlie frown is a big blackhead
37:52well i guess it's just us now sloopie me and man's best friend
38:17hidey hole
38:23so
38:28so
38:29Oh, my God.
38:59Let's go.
39:29Let's go.
39:59Give each other, please.
40:00Let's go.
40:30Let's go.
41:00Let's go.
41:01Let's go.
41:02Let's go.
41:03Let's go.
41:05Let's go.
41:06Let's go.
41:07Let's go.
41:08Let's go.
41:10Let's go.
41:11Let's go.
41:12Let's go.
41:13Let's go.
41:14Let's go.
41:15Let's go.
41:16Let's go.
41:17Let's go.
41:18Let's go.
41:19Let's go.
41:20Let's go.
41:21Let's go.
41:22Let's go.
41:23Let's go.
41:25Let's go.
41:26Let's go.
41:27Let's go.
41:28Let's go.
41:29Let's go.
41:30Let's go.
41:31Let's go.
41:32Let's go.
41:33Let's go.
41:34Let's go.
41:35Let's go.
41:36Let's go.
41:37Let's go.
41:38Let's go.
41:39Let's go.
41:40Alright.
41:45I love it.
41:46Internet, okay.
41:47Obviously, we're all at.
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