- 3 hours ago
Season 3 Episode 8
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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TVTranscript
00:00You are now watching Mav TV.
00:04Mav!
00:12I'm sorry, honey.
00:13No, it's my fault.
00:15If you're like us, you want to start a family, just like every other couple.
00:19But let's face it, sometimes sexual intercourse can be downright boring.
00:24Why can't someone come up with a better way?
00:26Now someone has.
00:28What?
00:28What?
00:29Introducing Spishak's new Baby Blaster.
00:33Baby Blaster?
00:34What in the heck is that?
00:36You know, I'm not a doctor, but I might as well be,
00:39because the all-new Spishak Baby Blaster is going to change the way that you think about making babies.
00:44And it's as easy as one, two, three.
00:48First, remove the patented Spishak sperm receptacle and fill it with sperm.
00:52Then, have your female partner assume the Baby Blaster spread eagle position,
00:56as illustrated in our easy-to-read Baby Blaster handbook.
01:00Then, just aim at her private no-no place and fire away.
01:03It's that simple.
01:06You'll never have to miss that favorite TV show of yours again.
01:09Lower.
01:11A little lower.
01:12And the Baby Blaster can be used while reading.
01:17Lower.
01:18Having breakfast.
01:20Lower.
01:21And another thing, I'd love to do Jesse Hill.
01:23Or during political discussions with friends.
01:26They should.
01:26And before you know it...
01:28Honey, guess what?
01:30You mean...
01:33Thank you, Spishak!
01:36Spishak's Baby Blaster comes complete with a 110-page instructional booklet
01:40and a year's supply of prime-grade Polynesian sperm.
01:44The Baby Blaster from Spishak.
01:46Because sexual intercourse can get downright boring.
01:49Not available in stores.
01:50Thank you, Spishak!
01:51Thank you, Spishak!
01:52Thank you, Spishak!
01:53Thank you, Spishak!
01:54Thank you, Spishak!
01:55Man!
01:56Come on!
01:57Yeah!
01:58Yeah!
01:59Come on!
02:00Man!
02:01Man!
02:03You're so...
02:04Man!
02:05Crazy!
02:09Man!
02:10Ooh!
02:11Man!
02:13Man!
02:18Man!
02:19Man!
02:20Man!
02:21Man!
02:22Tonight on Mad TV, Howard Stern, Elton John, and special guest Daisy Fuentes.
02:28Who are now watching Mad TV?
02:30Man!
02:31Man!
02:32Man!
02:33Man!
02:34Man!
02:36Man!
02:37Man!
02:38Man!
02:39Man!
02:40Man!
02:41Man!
02:42Man!
02:43Man!
02:44Man!
02:45Man!
02:46Man!
02:47Man!
02:48Man!
02:49Man!
02:50Man!
02:51Man!
02:52Man!
02:53Man!
02:54Man!
02:55Man!
02:56Man!
02:57Man!
02:58Man!
02:59Man!
03:00Man!
03:01Man!
03:02Man!
03:03Man!
03:04Man!
03:05Man!
03:06Man!
03:07Man!
03:08Man!
03:09Man!
03:10Man!
03:11Man!
03:12I do want to, uh, bring it down for a moment and talk about something that has been bothering me all night.
03:19Um, I've been thinking about it backstage.
03:22Um, apparently, I'm sorry, apparently, um, because of my portrayal of Rosie O'Donnell,
03:29um, now this is a rumor, we have been banned from her show.
03:36So, um, that's one down.
03:42We've got a lot of work ahead of us.
03:44Tonight we're going after Jay Leno and Jerry Springer, so stick around.
03:55Like every woman, there are two sides to me.
03:58The blue side.
03:59It's about love.
04:00And the purple side.
04:01Whoa!
04:02Or vice versa, I don't have eyes behind my head, you know?
04:12And now it's time to talk American with Mr. Diakai and Rui Paranio.
04:21Hello!
04:22Yes!
04:23And welcome to the show called Talking America, where we talk about the greatest country in the world.
04:29The best.
04:29America!
04:30America!
04:30Now, today is a very, very important show because my co-host, Rui, he chose our guest today.
04:40One night I am watching The Friends on TV with my nephews, Valdino and Bob, and then all of a sudden the picture is going away onto TV.
04:49So I am to calling the cable company, and the guy, he's trying to be cool, and he's like, hey, man, you no pay, no money, no cable, you stupid.
04:58And I am for to being polite.
04:59And I say, but sir, there is money in check on the box in the mail on the corner, and he is, you are a stupid liar, man.
05:08And then, and then I am listening to the radio, and there is the Howard Stern, and he is the king of Armenia.
05:17Yes, thank you.
05:18All right, so, please, welcome, Howard Stern!
05:25Mr. Stern!
05:30Thank you, my little subject.
05:34And welcome, your greatness, it is an honor to have a person of your greatness on our show today.
05:39No, I'm sure it is, but let me just say, the reason I'm here today is my movie, Private Parts, just came out on video, and I'm here to do a little bit of showbiz whoring.
05:49What is the showbiz whoring?
05:51What are you kidding me? Whoring, it's a great American pastime.
05:54Ah, Rui, me and you, we must do some of this whoring.
05:57Good idea.
05:57Not tonight, not tonight.
05:59Tonight I am watching The Friends on TV, and it is there.
06:02Don't waste your time.
06:03Part two of a two-parter, and in part one, Phoebe is for losing her job.
06:08Okay, all right, all right. Friends?
06:10Friends.
06:11We're here to talk about me and my movie, not that Friends crap.
06:14Friends is a very entertaining show. What is the problem?
06:17Yeah, that show. The only way that show could be entertaining is if Rachel would get it on with that darkhead one. What's her name?
06:23Monica?
06:24Monica, yeah. Then I would watch with my pants down around my ankles.
06:27Please, your majesty. I can't believe the king of Armenia would come and say these type of things for television.
06:33What is that? What is that? What is that? Where is that place?
06:41Can you even believe that Zulu the warrior here and Sven jerking off at their own show? Come on. I'm the greatest broadcaster in history. I'm the king of all media.
06:51Oh, kind of like Kathie Lee. She is the queen of all media.
06:55Kathie Lee is the queen of my ass.
07:00What?
07:01She's scum. She's the spawn of Satan. She's totally evil.
07:04You know something? I wasn't going to say this, but you have a...
07:07You know what else? You know what else? I think if she weren't so frigid, maybe Frank wouldn't be out boinking stewardesses.
07:21Let me tell you something. You would be lucky to boink anyone with that face of a baboon's ass.
07:27In my country, they would count your likeness and use it to scare away the evil spirits.
07:30You, you, you go from hell. You, you, you...
07:33I don't know. You hit me. You hit me.
07:38That's it. That's it. You know, I boosted the ratings enough on your lame-ass show. I'm out of here.
07:43Okay? Hey, Baba Boy. Baba Boy. Baba Boy?
07:46What did he call me? Baba Boy. I don't know what he's...
07:49Baba Boy? In my country, that is an insult. That means book-toothed idiot.
07:52Go get him.
07:54Give him one for me.
07:57What?
07:58What? Focky?
08:00Oh, hello. How are you, buddy? Oh, today?
08:07Good readings to bad garbage.
08:10Rui, come on!
08:11What is the problem with you?
08:13Why do you bring such an un-American person on the show?
08:15You know, you have really, uh, what is the word I'm looking for at?
08:18Screwed up.
08:19You have screwed up. That's what you have done.
08:24Ah, Rui.
08:25Come on!
08:27What is wrong with you?
08:29I try to do that.
08:30I am bringing on the bad person and my...
08:33Then you are leaving.
08:34And I know my to then know how to talk about you without you and I don't know what to do.
08:39And then you are coming back and then maybe show is just better if I go on my...
08:44Come on!
08:45Ui!
08:46You know, Mr. Daki, I cannot do the show without you.
08:48You are...
08:49You are...
08:50You are the cream in my coffee.
08:52The...
08:53The...
08:54The...
08:55The...
08:56The...
08:57The...
08:58The...
08:59The...
09:00The...
09:01The...
09:02The...
09:03The...
09:04The...
09:05The...
09:06The...
09:07The...
09:08The...
09:09The...
09:10The...
09:11The...
09:12The...
09:13The...
09:14The...
09:15The...
09:16The...
09:17The...
09:18Larry and Rich were two guys who just wanted to party.
09:22And needed a place to do it.
09:24Whoa!
09:25What a great place!
09:27Are you sure your uncle's not gonna mind us using it for the weekend?
09:30Are you kidding?
09:31If he knew we were about to have a party in the house that he just bought from the estate of Tupac Shakur, he'd kill us!
09:37Enough said!
09:38Let's call the chicks!
09:39For sex!
09:41Pam!
09:42Hey!
09:43It's Larry!
09:44Yeah, Rich and I are throwing a party tonight!
09:47At Tupac's place!
09:49Oh, please!
09:50Why would we want to be seen with two losers like you?
09:52And besides, everybody knows that Tupac is dead!
09:55But...
09:56That's just the thing, see?
09:57Tupac's not dead!
09:58Um, that's always just a...
09:59A scam to sell records!
10:00A scam to sell records!
10:01Like Paul McCartney and JFK!
10:02Yeah, like Paul McCartney and JFK!
10:03Oh, yeah?
10:04Yeah!
10:05As a matter of fact, Tupac's here with us right now!
10:07Woo!
10:08Then we are coming over to party!
10:09Yeah!
10:10But Tupac had better be there!
10:11Oh, he'll be there!
10:12Oh, my God!
10:16Larry and Rich have a problem!
10:19Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy are together again in...
10:24Weekend at Tupac's!
10:27It's Tupac's first film since his death and he's never been funnier...
10:31Or funkier!
10:33Hey, Pam!
10:34Brenda!
10:35Check it out!
10:36Dead or alive, Tupac is still a chick magnet!
10:38We're gonna get more ass than a mule salesman!
10:40Oh, my God!
10:41Tupac, I am so glad that you are not dead!
10:42Yeah, but why are you hanging out with them?
10:43Come on, girlfriend!
10:44These are my two main homesies!
10:45Oh, really?
10:46Uh, yes!
10:47I invite you to have sex with both of them!
10:48Okay!
10:49You are the man!
10:50We'll see you guys in the hot tub!
10:51Come and kick it with someone who already has!
10:53Talk about a death comedy jam!
10:54Let's party!
10:55All right!
10:56And don't miss a special appearance by Snoop Doggy Dog!
10:58Hi, yo, Pop!
10:59Hi, yo, Pop!
11:00Hi!
11:01Hi!
11:02Hi!
11:03Hi!
11:04Hi!
11:05Hi!
11:06Hi!
11:07Hi!
11:08Hi!
11:09Hi!
11:10Hi!
11:11Hi!
11:12Hi!
11:13Hi!
11:14Hi!
11:15Hi!
11:16Hi!
11:17Hi!
11:18Hi!
11:19Hi!
11:20Hi!
11:21Hi, Pop!
11:22What's up, little homie?
11:23You look better than the last summer song.
11:24What did you think about what we talked about last time?
11:27Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
11:28C'mon, man.
11:29You know about me and you going on a little to zone?
11:31Uh, yeah.
11:32Only if you find my friends Larry and Rich some hoes...
11:36FOR SEX!
11:38Hey!
11:40Hey!
11:41Hey!
11:42Oh!
11:43Damn!
11:44What you doing?
11:45He's back!
11:46He's dead!
11:47And it's funny!
11:48in the hand now i'm back from the dead please have sex with my friends larry and rich for sex
11:54weekend at tupac's you'll die laughing when we bust this cap of laughter in your punk ass
12:00and coming soon in his very own sitcom it's weekdays at tupac's it just keeps going
12:13why you got the brother in the background that's what i want to know
12:18notice that i can dance and keep the beat at the same time it's a black thing i'll teach
12:23you later oh well good morning mr blue jay
12:40oh him he's my prince i met him last night where the enchanted lake meets future world
12:51oh yes he is handsome you see when a princess sits in tears
13:04waiting all these years when a prince wanders by simply says hi
13:17ah morning oh my prince charming awakes run now mr blue jay and tell all my little friends in the
13:30forest to gather at the stream for our wedding fly fly away
13:37that was just great last night i mean the rest of the girls in the park they just totally ignore the
13:42food cart guys well why didn't you come talk to me you silly willy are you frightened of a princess
13:47oh that character you do that so great yeah god last night was so hot yeah when did you start
13:53working there oh my father forbids me to work he says it's not proper for a princess okay you don't
14:00have to keep talking like that you know because i really like you i mean like i want to get dinner or
14:05i don't know if you're free later or until happily ever after my sweet okay okay all right well this
14:13is kind of bad but you never told me your real name of course i did bell the beauty
14:22okay yeah but you know when you're not walking around the park you know greeting kids and you know
14:27your real name like my name is robert your name is whatever could he mean mr sink
14:32okay now you're just playing with me oh you are right lady candle he is handsome
14:40oh well thanks a lot candle listen all the other bells are so uptight but not you the minute i saw
14:46you i knew you were a party girl well good morning copy cup i certainly hope you slept well
14:53all right where are my pants perhaps the prince would like a show i'm quite certain the plates have
14:58something special picked out for you maybe the plates know where my pants are what do you need
15:03your pants for silly where are you going to work my shift starts in like 15 minutes people need hot dogs
15:10but certainly you won't work on our wedding day wedding day all right look this is getting a little
15:15old i really have to go to work so you don't want to marry me prince charming i'd hate to have you
15:20wind up in the dungeon with all the others okay what dungeon what others what are you talking about
15:25uh-oh it's my father is he going to be cool about me staying here last night well he thinks we're
15:31going to be married
15:42greetings bell hello father this is the prince that wishes to wed you this afternoon at the enchanted stream
15:50uh no dude look i just work at the park and i sell hot dogs and she works across from me and last
15:55night we had dinner and everything silence is true you're forbidden to marry a commoner
16:04no father he's a prince i'm quite sure of it okay news bulletin look i'm not a prince
16:11she's not the real bell you're not a real king the sword however is real oh my god criminy
16:22father will i ever meet my prince someday my beauty but until then we'll just have to keep killing
16:31good evening i'm michael eisner submitted for your approval one robert crane his dreams of making his
16:39fantasy woman real have gone frighteningly horribly wrong robert green lost forever in the wonderful
16:47world of the eisner zone
16:57did you know that your mouth has over 10 000 taste buds lucky for you we consulted every one of them
17:03and you know what they told us they said we don't want this low-fat turkey tetz racini crapola we want
17:09a big fat boston cream pie but don't get us wrong we don't want you to have to shop in large and lovely
17:15either well now you can be nice to your taste buds with the new dinner delights from lean bulim
17:21gorge yourself on german chocolate cake delight in chicken fried steak and french fries binge on link
17:27sausages and pizza and be nice to your waistline too because all of these dinners are low in calories
17:33hello well zero is a pretty good number isn't it that's because lean bulim's secret ingredient
17:39syrup of epicac won't let you hold on to any of these meals for too long you'll be brushing to the
17:44purge pit right after the last bite tastes just as good coming up as it did going down
17:53new dinner delights it's not just lean it's bulim and don't worry about riding teeth or collapsing
17:59esophagus because lean bulim comes with teeth guard and throat hose
18:06coming up coming up coming up next on mad tv wow elton john don't you know that dad's not
18:13breathing ever ever had a smoke shove it all away into your electrical outlet
18:19you're out of there buffy the umpire slain
18:35you've lost a loved one family and friends have gathered to pay their last respects
18:41how many times has this happened to you boy this funeral really blows yeah right tell me something
18:47i don't know pretty dull huh don't your loved ones deserve something better than this when they pass on
18:53well why not try
18:58wow elton john yes it is for a limited time elton john will rewrite his classic songs and fly in to
19:05perform them for your deceased goodbye uncle hurt you were the best accounting in miami beach
19:15now you're in a better place where the iris can't reach let captain fantastic express your grief with
19:24words and music that will touch your heart forever and he worked to power lines a long long time fell down
19:31hit the ground before he died but weren't the wise he thought they were at all
19:39he was a socket man
19:43socket man burning out his brain so you can claw let elton john rock you to your grave
19:50he took the skins by nine he really blew the line so they pumped five slugs through his
19:56spleen oh lenny and his pets yes your loved one's funeral will be the social event of the season
20:07you'll wish more relatives would die just to hear elton's tributes don't you know that dad stopped
20:13breathing never ever had a smoke exercised regularly and he got hit by a stroke just stop breathing
20:23dead dead dead dead yes any night's all right for dying well the biggest kick we ever had
20:37was dancing to the burning dead dad was sleeping mama poured out the gas we were singing and prancing while we
20:45burned up the south yeah just send two hundred thousand dollars to funeral wizard p.o box nine four
20:52three five zero one atlanta georgia please allow six eight weeks for elton john to run
20:56here we go everybody it's the party
21:14all right
21:18all right
21:24all right
21:41yo that was high and outside
21:42all right
21:48all right
21:56all right
22:02all right
22:04all right
22:10all right
22:16you're out of there
22:20buffy the umpire slayer just like the wildly popular buffy the vampire slayer except we've substituted
22:27umpires for vampires
22:28i killed three more of them last night is it just me or is anyone else starting to think that this
22:42high school is built on the site of an ancient umpire burial ground i hate it when that happens
22:47i've consulted the prophecies and they warned us that in tonight's game we must beware the seventh
22:51inning stretch while they were at it they might have wanted to warn us about the new biology teacher
22:56seriously what is that thing on our nose oh my god totally yesterday i thought it was a mole but today
23:01it's like in an entirely different place we are talking about the potential end of the world
23:08i would appreciate it if we could stay focused easy for you to say you haven't seen her
23:13but nonetheless we have to be ready tonight um do you guys think that just this once you could be
23:19ready without me i've decided umpires are not my kind of people umpires by definition are not people
23:28they are creatures of pure evil a cancer on the face of a national pastime
23:34i don't mean to sound un-american here but why don't we just stop playing baseball no baseball
23:40players no umpire food it's not that simple xander i mean there were umpires way before there was
23:46baseball precisely buffy be a deal flip the lights look at this
23:58as you can see umpires infest the very fabric of history
24:05they predate christianity and it has been theorized that the entire population of atlantis
24:12was in fact umpires wow you said it they only fear three things wild pitchers buffy
24:22and roberto alomar
24:26let me help let me help sorry john wrong show
24:36wait i think i heard something out in the hall come on guys let's go
24:40quick there he is
24:54where'd he go we were right behind him oh he's here all right
24:57that looks like this game isn't going into extra innings
25:10come on guys pee break i'm right behind you let's do it this fall it's a whole new ball game on
25:31buffy the umpire slayer let's play ball catch it on the wb
25:43nicole this is the psychic hotline you see a bright future just be careful of
25:47kill lamar don't work with him get on mad tv
25:52get on mad tv no
25:53you are not watching mad tv
25:59make
26:03foxy ladies and guru pigs give it up for the host of funky walker dirty talker
26:09the big boss of bootay himself desperation lee
26:19i am desperation lee and this is funky walker dirty talker come on y'all let's walk funky
26:39and now it's time to talk dirty
26:50get in close you know how i like it
26:56baby i want to come over to your house in thanksgiving and stuff your turkey
27:01man that's some cold-blooded dirty talk my guest on today's show is a shining star for you to see
27:12a man as funny as he is funky ladies and gentlemen gilbert gottfried
27:26i think i hurt myself check to see if i'm bleeding no baby you ain't bleeding
27:43you just oozing funk you know i've been accused of that on several occasions
27:49yeah but you know what i think you need uh i'm not i'm not positive but don't tell me
27:55my guess would be it had something to do with funk baby it's all about the funk what you need is a
28:04quick dip in the funky box of funk oh i'd like to dip in the box of funk that should feel good
28:11in fact i'm alone in my hotel can i borrow that box of funk anytime you want
28:16here one yes you shove your hands yeah yeah deep into the funk it's like shoving your hand in a
28:28well never mind just for television it's like shoving your hand in a box that has fuzzy things
28:36around it oh yeah you know are you aware that you make everything sound kind of dirty
28:41well thank you when do i get to talk dirty baby there ain't no time like the present let's get it on
28:51i'll start it off
28:55baby i want to dive into your pool and do some laps
29:02baby i want to take my bread and stick it in your hot toaster
29:11baby i want to get my chocolate and your peanut butter
29:23oh dirty and tasty
29:27baby i want to take my bank card and stick it all away in your atm machine
29:35hey hey hey give it give it get it yeah here we go wait a little baby i want to open up your cupboard
29:47and find my poor dog a bone
29:52that was i don't know if i could top that go ahead on man i want to take my extension cord
29:58and shove it all away into your electrical outlet
30:04you know i i think i'm getting the hang of this baby i want to stick my thing into your thing wherever
30:13my thing would possibly fit in your thing
30:15i think we're getting a little tired here so that's all the time we have on today's show
30:27a big hand for my very groovy guest mr gilbert godfrey
30:34i'm starting to feel funky hey man don't you worry about it gilbert the funk will never leave
30:41you my friend it'll never leave you yeah maybe you're an ointment yeah join me next week when my
30:47guess will be the old guy or fraser until then gilbert come on man let's walk funky
31:03this saturday night on cbs chuck norris returns for his sixth season as walker texas ranger see
31:12why over 20 million americans agree that walker texas ranger is the best action show on tv
31:19then starting at 11 meet the high-flying karate chopping new bad boy of the wild west
31:25someone looking for me it's christopher walken texas ranger at 11. come on walken this isn't your
31:34jurisdiction i play by different rules then at 12 the lone star state gets even more action
31:43about 10 kids are being held hostage in a bomb by a pack of benditos
31:48that are mine it's jimmy walker texas ranger at 12. somebody's gotta save them well you know
31:57what can i say they're not in my jurisdiction but that's not all at one the action gets hotter in
32:06the two-hour made for tv special not so fast ranger says who it's walking walking texas ranger texas
32:14ranger who are you and walker walker texas ranger texas ranger in the battle for who should be texas
32:22ranger then at two they didn't count on a third hey hombres it's heather lockler texas ranger stay
32:31i miss lockler it's now your jurisdiction yeah take a look at the map senorita i'm gonna save those
32:39kids and there is nothing you can do about it and then hold on a minute baby oh yeah it's funky
32:49walker dirty talker texas ranger i know how to talk to those bad guys say hey i want you to drop your
32:56guns get all up in my custody and nobody counted on just you wait one minute buster brown old lady and
33:06her walker texas ranger why don't you all save the kids it's the all ranger all-star team texas
33:25bonanza remember that's walker texas ranger at 10 walkin texas ranger at 11 jimmy walker texas ranger
33:33at 12 walkin texas ranger and walker texas ranger the battle for who should be texas ranger at one
33:38and lockler jimmy walker walkin old lady and her walker and funky walker dirty talker the all ranger
33:45all-star team texas bonanza at two and stay tuned for an exciting sneak preview of texas rangers versus
33:51new york ranger at four if you love texas and you love rangers you'll love cbs
34:09what do you happen to know
34:26You are now watching MAD TV.
34:55MAD!
35:25Oh, and the reason I'm wearing the same clothes that I wore yesterday is because my clothes
35:32all burned in a fire.
35:34Maybe they don't suspect a thing.
35:36Um, excuse me.
35:37I don't think so.
35:42Okay.
35:43If we're all settled in, uh, I wanted to talk to you all this morning about the new policy
35:50for processing consumer complaints, which I'm sure thrills you all.
35:57Is he adorable?
36:01I assume you're somewhat familiar with it from the memos that we...
36:07Do you have a question, Judy?
36:08Oh, no, honey.
36:09I mean, Mr. Honey.
36:10I mean, Dean.
36:11Dean.
36:12Dean.
36:13All right.
36:16Okay.
36:17These are the forms that I'd like you to use to...
36:20Aftershocks from the, uh, earthquake last night.
36:32Did anyone else feel it?
36:34No?
36:35No?
36:36I guess it was just me.
36:39Anyway, you are to fill this form out completely every time you receive a complaint by phone
36:45or mail.
36:46Uh, any questions?
36:47Oh, yeah.
36:48I have a question, Dini.
36:49What's the question, Judy?
36:51Oh, my God.
36:53You are so cute.
36:54I forgot about it.
36:56Well, if you think of it, why don't you send me an email?
37:01All right.
37:02Um, whenever you receive a complaint, I want you to fill this form out completely
37:06and send the duplicate copy to Quality Control.
37:09Every time.
37:10No exceptions.
37:11Uh...
37:12Yes?
37:13Yeah.
37:14Are there any exceptions?
37:16No, Judy.
37:17There are no exceptions.
37:19Well, what if you really love the person who forgot to send the duplicate copy to Quality Control?
37:25Judy, there are no exceptions.
37:32Fine.
37:33Are there any other questions?
37:36I'm not talking to you.
37:39Message for you.
37:40Oh, thank you, Frances.
37:42Oh, thank you, Frances.
37:44My, my, my.
37:46Isn't Frances just great?
37:48I bet she does anything for you.
37:51It's Frances this and it's Frances that.
37:53So what about me, huh?
37:54I guess my only purpose is to be used up and thrown away.
37:58All right.
37:59Come on.
38:00Starting today, there will be a policy in place regarding inter-office dating.
38:04Frances, could you take this down for me?
38:06Oh.
38:07And that policy is that if there is any inter-office dating, it must last no longer than one night
38:15and then it must end.
38:16No exceptions.
38:17Even if you really love the person.
38:22Or even if you just say you do.
38:26Which is allowed.
38:28You are allowed to say you love the person if that permits you to get the one night with the person,
38:33which is allowed and is the only thing allowed under the new company policy.
38:38And if such an event does happen to occur, the other person involved will just have to say,
38:42Oh well, that's life and move on.
38:44Oh.
38:45And not get jealous of her boss's secretary.
38:47Oh.
38:48And they will have to act as if nothing happened and continue to do a good job and never ever be a factor in the other person's life ever again.
38:57This policy is effective immediately.
39:00And retroactive to last night.
39:03Actually, uh, Frances, that reminds me.
39:08Yes.
39:09Uh, could you type up a copy of this new policy, uh, sign it, and bring it round my place, uh, Friday night?
39:15Let's say, uh, 11-ish?
39:17Yes, sir.
39:18Meeting adjourned.
39:20Uh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
39:49See, I'm not wearing a bra, though, so this might be bad news.
40:06Will?
40:07Cat?
40:08Yeah.
40:09Oh!
40:13Because there's nothing here, but now there's something here or something.
40:16I don't know.
40:17Bing!
40:19Well, bing!
40:20You're watching Mad TV.
40:22Are you going to do something?
40:35Great fun, son, you guys.
40:37You know, I've never done a closing, Nicole.
40:39You're so beautiful and talented.
40:41Could you just show me how?
40:41Well, Alex, it's easy.
40:42Just do one.
40:43All right, well, we had a great time.
40:45We hope you enjoyed yourselves as well.
40:47We'll see you next week on Mad TV.
40:49Good night.
40:49Woo!
40:52Stop.
40:53Stop.
40:54Stop.
40:57Just let her do it.
40:59Just let her do it.
41:00Every week she begs and begs and begs.
41:02Don't let her do it.
41:03Come on.
41:04Come on.
41:05Come on.
41:05And this is the part where we dance.
41:17And this is the part where we dance.
41:19This is the part where we dance.
41:22There we go.
41:22Come on.
41:25But let's face it, sometimes sexual intercourse can be downright boring.
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