- 4 hours ago
Season 3 Episode 1
madtv reality playboy
madtv reality playboy
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TVTranscript
00:01You are now watching MADtv!
00:05Man!
00:07Hey, Howard Stern. You think you're controversial?
00:10Pamela Anderson. Oh, yeah. I could get into some of that.
00:13You think you're edgy?
00:15Julia Roberts. She can't act, but who cares? I could get into some of that.
00:18Well, there's a new jock in town who's gonna make you look like a schoolboy.
00:22Cuz KYTS94FM just hired an ornery, senile 90-year-old man who doesn't even know he's on the air.
00:31America, get ready for Gus.
00:33I swear to God, I'll burn your children to the ground, the screaming little bastards!
00:38I'll take my mother up and take her to bingo before I vote for Franklin's son-of-a-bitch Roosevelt again!
00:45Clap on. Clap on, you filthy whore. Clap on!
00:50Fix my heater, you lazy bastards! I've been in two God-blessed wars, and I'm freezing!
00:56He's on, he's out of his mind, and he won't stop talking.
01:00If that dog goes near my azaleas one more time, I'm gonna shove grenades in both ends and see which way he goes!
01:08Got a little soldier in my pants.
01:11Deedle. Deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle, deedle.
01:14And if he ever gets off track, we poke him!
01:16Ah! If you don't put sugar in, the lemonade's too damn sour!
01:20Even Howard Stern doesn't treat his callers like this.
01:23Hi, this is Jerry from Grand Rapids. Most Republicans were claiming victory over the budget.
01:27I ate a Nazi's hot raw just for fun, so don't you tell me!
01:31Hey Gus, my parents hate my boyfriend. Hello?
01:34Oh, man on the moon! I'll give you a man on the moon!
01:39He should be locked up, but we got him!
01:43Gus, you rule! Oh, my God, you are so cool! Me and my brother, we listen to you every single day!
01:49I'll suck the eyes out of your head and pee in your sockets! Get killed, hippie!
01:54Clap on!
01:57I will hunt you down!
02:05Say goodbye, Howard, cause KYTS 94FM is unleashing guts!
02:11Deedle.
02:13Guts. Mornings on KYTS FM.
02:16Turn on my heat, you Irish hump!
02:20Guts.
02:33Hey, come on, come on!
02:37Hey, hey, you're so crazy!
02:44Tonight on the season premiere of MADtv, guest host Sandra Bernhardt with Michael Jackson and Martin Luther King Jr.
03:04Who are now watching MADtv?
03:14Welcome everybody to a third year or third season, we hope you had a fabulous summer, okay as you can see we have some new cast members so please make them feel very welcome.
03:43Most importantly we are glad that you the audience is back, thank you.
03:53So now to start off the show, please say hello to our very special guest star, Sandra Bernhardt!
04:00It's really great to be here to open the third season of MADtv but I'm feeling a little vulnerable.
04:16I mean this is a hard time for me and a lot of my friends now that Gianni's gone.
04:30I was talking to Naomi Campbell the other day and someone asked her how she felt about it and she said well this has been terrible for me!
04:48Well, Elton John and Sting are writing a tribute song for Gianni and Naomi is going to sing it and she asked me to premiere it here tonight on MADtv for you.
05:04Gianni was the golden boy of fashion, he kept me in cash and other fabulous things.
05:26Gianni Versace, Gianni Versace, if I could only bring him back I'd trade in my unspoken vows
05:36and unused wedding rings
05:48Linda Christie, Helena too
05:54Gianni's gone but we must go on on the runway
06:00Donna's gone but she still drove me around on the runway
06:07Darling, can I borrow your cellular phone on the runway?
06:14Gianni and I were such good friends
06:18I couldn't think of a more glamorous end on the runway
06:23I'll still walk for you on the runway
06:27Baby, do you have a good view?
06:29On the runway
06:31I hope we can design something new
06:33On the runway
06:35Gianni, is my career finally through?
06:37On the runway
06:39On the runway
06:41On the runway
06:45On the runway
06:47On the runway
06:51On the runway
06:53Who would give me my new clothes?
06:55Who would give me my new clothes?
06:57I miss you, Gianni
07:00Strike a pose on the runway
07:11Stick around, we'll be right back
07:13Thank you
07:15On the runway
07:25On the runway
07:34Let's go !
08:04See, I'm not wearing a bra, though,
08:23so this might be bad news.
08:26Will?
08:27Pat?
08:28Yeah.
08:29Oh!
08:34I'm not watching Mad TV.
08:37Mave!
08:39Now listen up, you maggots.
08:42You have all volunteered for the most intensive military training down to mine.
08:47It's my job to attempt to turn you scum into killing machines.
08:51And most of you don't have what it takes to make this Navy SEALs.
08:56Michael Jackson, you're putting for duty.
09:00What in the blazers?
09:01Michael Jackson is G.I. Jackson, with Sean Connery as Sergeant Dwyer.
09:10God help us.
09:11And Janet Reno as herself.
09:14If Jackson graduates as a Navy SEAL, it'll open the door for every androgynous superstar freak on the planet.
09:21See that it doesn't happen.
09:23My pleasure.
09:25One man determined to win at any cost.
09:27One man child determined to fit in.
09:35My God, you're a freak.
09:36Were your parents even in the same room where they conceived you?
09:42One.
09:44Jackson, you are one sorry, worthless, bleached-out Diana Ross wannabe.
09:51One.
09:51Jackson, I swear to God, I'd turn off your head and puke down your neck if I didn't think I would turn you off.
09:59One.
10:03In closing, Liz, it's not that I mind being a 40-year-old man surrounded by all these young boys.
10:10It's just that awful Sergeant Dwyer.
10:12For some reason, he hates me.
10:14But why?
10:18Why?
10:22Why do you hate me?
10:26It makes me feel so blue.
10:33I'm just a normal man.
10:36It's not like I'm a Jew.
10:40I'm sorry about the Jew thing.
10:41I'll change it as soon as this album is released.
10:45If I can change my nose, the color of my skin.
10:50Somebody please tell me.
10:52Why can't I, why can't I, why can't I change him?
10:58Excellent work, Sergeant.
11:10Jackson's a broken man.
11:18She's out of my life.
11:23No, I'm not, Michael.
11:24I'm right here.
11:26Liz.
11:28Come to Mama.
11:32Oh, yes.
11:50Oh, my God.
11:51He's attacking a young boy.
11:53Do something, Dwyer.
11:54Get off that child.
11:56Wait, it's not a boy.
11:59It isn't?
12:00It's Little Pang on the notorious terrorist.
12:04And he was going to blow us all to hell.
12:10Dammit, Jackson.
12:12You've saved the base.
12:14I guess you're Navy SEAL material after all.
12:16I told you I wanted him out.
12:27Look, you old bag.
12:28Didn't you see what just happened?
12:30Jackson's the best man we've got.
12:32Oh, really?
12:33Well, consider yourself on latrine duty.
12:36Private.
12:37If you weren't a woman, I'd smash your face in.
12:41What am I talking about?
12:43I hit women all the time.
12:49All right, now cut it out.
12:51G.I.
12:53Jackson.
12:53Coming soon to a theater near you.
12:56Unaccompanied children will be admitted free.
12:57This is going to be a bad one.
13:08Boy, is he in for a surprise.
13:10If your family is anything like mine, they like eating snacks made with new fat-free fat substitutes.
13:15But they can cause anal leakage, and that can be a problem.
13:19Well, flush those problems right down the toilet, because now there's cholesterol.
13:23The new fat substitute with 10% less anal leakage.
13:26That's right, 10% less anal leakage.
13:30Just think of the convenience that 10% less anal leakage brings.
13:35Hey, you.
13:37Whew, I just had 10% less anal leakage.
13:40That's because I switched to new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
13:4410% less anal leakage?
13:46Wow, that's a lot less anal leakage.
13:48Yeah, it sure is a lot less anal leakage.
13:50Watch.
13:51This represents the anal leakage caused by foods made with regular fat substitutes.
13:56And this represents the anal leakage caused by foods made with new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
14:02Sorry, honey.
14:03I'm not sure I understand.
14:04Hmm.
14:05Take a look at this.
14:06This indicates the anal leakage caused by foods made with regular fat substitutes.
14:11And this indicates the anal leakage caused by foods made with new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
14:17Honey, now I'm really confused.
14:19Let me put it to you this way.
14:21This is your diaper after eating foods made with regular fat substitutes.
14:25And this is your diaper after eating foods made with new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
14:31Wow.
14:32I think I'm beginning to understand.
14:34Good.
14:35Then try looking at it this way.
14:36We followed around a man for a week who ate foods made with regular fat substitutes.
14:41And this is what we got.
14:42And then we followed a man around for a week who ate foods with new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
14:48Now do you understand?
14:49You know what?
14:50I think I'm just about one example of weight.
14:52Well, how about this?
14:54Here's how many French fries we fried in leakage caused by foods made with regular fat substitutes.
14:58And here's how many French fries we fried in leakage caused by foods made with new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
15:05Wow.
15:05I get it.
15:06Do you?
15:07No.
15:07But I don't think I can take any more examples.
15:10Oh.
15:11You know, as a businessman, 10% less anal leakage is important to me.
15:15Now I can almost sit my way through an entire meeting.
15:17And our sheets will be a little less soiled, thanks to new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
15:23Hey, you.
15:25You better start getting ready.
15:26Ready for what?
15:27We're going to the first two acts of the ballet.
15:29The ballet?
15:30Oh, honey.
15:31Now, sweetheart, you...
15:33Excuse me.
15:34Try new cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
15:40Cholesterol, with 10% less anal leakage.
15:44Doesn't your family deserve 10% less anal leakage?
15:52Sometimes we know our lives, and sometimes we don't.
15:56Sometimes we know our lives, and sometimes we don't.
15:56Sometimes we know our lives, and sometimes we don't.
15:57Hopefully we won't notice so much fun tonight.
15:59Watch it.
16:00You are now watching M.A.P.T.V.
16:05M.A.P.E.
16:09Come on, people.
16:11Keep your chins up.
16:12It's only been three days.
16:14I'm sure there are still rescue crews out there looking for us.
16:17Remember, the most important thing to do is keep a positive attitude.
16:21I'm a liar.
16:26Thanks for the pep talk.
16:28It really helped.
16:30We're out of food.
16:32We're out of water.
16:34Oh, let's face it.
16:34We're all going to die.
16:36Someone didn't finish the honey roasted peanuts.
16:39Don't eat that.
16:40We can divide it six ways.
16:44Look.
16:45A helicopter.
16:46We're saved.
16:49The eagle, he has landed.
16:51Greetings, air disaster victims.
17:04I am from the St. Bernard Emergency Search and Rescue Team, and I am here to...
17:11You know what?
17:13Ah, you people look like a wreck.
17:16I'm just kidding.
17:17That's a little joke we have back at headquarters.
17:19Why did the rescue helicopter leave?
17:22Okay, sir, we are very busy and...
17:24Whoa, what was the body count before Humpty Dumpty here started chowing down?
17:30Excuse me?
17:31Okay, sir, take my advice.
17:32Don't eat the Chinese one.
17:33You'll be hungry again in an hour.
17:36Oh, Christmas on a cracker.
17:38What do we have here?
17:39Poor thing.
17:40She's burned on over 80% of her body.
17:43Oh, well, looks like we got us a frequent fryer, huh?
17:47Water.
17:48Water.
17:49Oh, thanks.
17:49Yes, I am very parched.
17:50Water.
17:51Water.
17:51Water.
17:51Water.
17:52Water.
17:52Water.
17:53Water.
17:53Okay, let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?
17:56Now, I am surveying the scene.
17:57I'm surveying the scene.
17:59I am surveying the scene, and I'm wondering who's going to cause the crash, huh?
18:07Who'd want to pull old Uncle Sam's beard just to show the sand fleas back at home what a big
18:12meody was, huh?
18:14Looks like the suicide part of your mission didn't quite work out, did it, Mr. Falafel?
18:18I am not a terrorist, you rude woman.
18:21I'm a diplomat with the United Nations.
18:23Okay, sir, you can save that speech for death row, all right, Sid Amp?
18:27This is getting us nowhere.
18:29Perhaps I could help.
18:30I was the flight attendant on board.
18:32Well, Mile High Mary.
18:34Judging from the amount of survivors, maybe you should have spent more time showing them
18:37the exits instead of your entrance.
18:39What's that supposed to mean?
18:42Okay, now, just for the record, what went down first, you or the plane?
18:48I resent that.
18:50I did everything I could.
18:51Don't you mean everyone?
18:54I had nothing to do with the crash.
18:57If you don't believe me, ask Captain Winslow.
18:59Oh, that's Captain Crunch over there.
19:02Yoo-hoo, Captain, can you see me?
19:04Who am I kidding if he can't see a mountain, huh?
19:08What do you see he's about to crack?
19:10For God's sake, be gentle with him.
19:11Okay, you know what?
19:12Don't tell me how to do my job.
19:14I've had over 200 hours of victim sensitivity training.
19:17Hey, wrong way, Joe.
19:19Speak ye English?
19:21Yeah, you, Mr. Popularity.
19:23Don't be such a gloomy, Gus.
19:25I'm sure you're going to get your own segment on Foxes when planes go down.
19:29It wasn't my fault.
19:31I know, I know.
19:32It's very hard to see with a stewardess all over your face, huh?
19:36That wasn't it.
19:37Now, what do you think was it?
19:38Was it booze?
19:39Was it pills?
19:41Was it affirmative action?
19:45Wait.
19:46Wait, I remember now.
19:47There was a helicopter.
19:49And I veered to miss it, and I hit the mountain.
19:52Was there a big St. Bernard on it?
19:56Yes.
19:58That's weird.
19:59Anywho.
20:00Wait.
20:00Wait, did you get who caused the crash?
20:03Lady, I don't know what you're talking about.
20:04It was you who caused the crash.
20:05Lady, okay.
20:06And we're dying.
20:07And we're dying.
20:10And we're dead.
20:12Okay.
20:14Dig in, Humpty.
20:15This one's well done.
20:18You better get us out of here or not.
20:20Oh, you know what?
20:25Uh-uh.
20:26Oh, I'm so sorry.
20:27Yeah.
20:27My vacation has just started.
20:30See, I thought I was going to be able to get this in before Maui, but I guess not.
20:33But don't fret.
20:34I'll be back in two weeks.
20:36Does anyone want me to bring a Malay?
20:38Oh, except you.
20:39You've had quite enough, young lady.
20:42Where do you think you're going?
20:44You can't go, you're mine.
20:45Don't leave us.
20:46Bye-bye.
20:47Aloha.
20:48No!
20:49That's it, Sandra.
20:59Oh, beautiful darling.
21:01Give me more of that.
21:03Okay.
21:04Take five, love.
21:06You deserve it.
21:08Thanks, Reinhardt.
21:09Hi, I'm Sandra Bernhardt.
21:12You know, loads of people have asked me, Sandra, is it possible for someone like myself to have
21:16a smashing career as a superstar just like you?
21:19Well, up until now, I've had to say, I don't think so, darling.
21:24But now all that's changed with Sandra Bernhardt's superstar kit.
21:30Now, anyone can be a superstar in just three easy steps.
21:34Step one, look like me.
21:36Not sure if you look like me?
21:38Try this simple test.
21:40Hold a mirror in one hand and a photo of me in the other.
21:44If the photo looks exactly like the reflection in the mirror, then you look like me, don't
21:49you?
21:50Or if someone comes up to you and says, gosh, you look like someone famous whose name escapes
21:55me right now.
21:57And you say, could it be Sandra Bernhardt?
21:59And they say yes.
22:01That could also mean that you look like me.
22:04On to step two.
22:05Hire a world-famous fashion photographer like Reinhardt to take some super photos of yourself
22:11on location in lots of exotic places.
22:14Sound easy?
22:15It is.
22:17On to step three.
22:19Get your far-out pictures published on the cover of all the major fashion mags.
22:24Or if that's not possible, date a famous rock star.
22:28So there you have it.
22:29The all-new Sandra Bernhardt superstar kit.
22:32And I swear to God, it really, really works.
22:36But hey, don't take my word for it.
22:39Listen to one of our many satisfied customers.
22:42This was me.
22:44I was stuck in a dead-end job until I bought the Sandra Bernhardt superstar kit.
22:49No one nuclear physics for this gal.
22:52Now I get to wear beautiful clothes.
22:54I travel around the world.
22:56And I'm dating a bass player from Bon Jovi.
22:59Not the new one, but the one before him.
23:04Thanks, Leticia.
23:06So order your Sandra Bernhardt superstar kit today.
23:10To order the kit Sandra talked about, send a check or money order to
23:13Sandra Bernhardt superstar kit, P.O. Box 117, Helena Montana.
23:18Sorry, no CODs, please.
23:22Coming up on MADtv.
23:23All I'm trying to say is it gets cold as a **** up here.
23:35Check out the new women's basketball league, the NB TNA.
23:40You are now watching MADtv.
23:46MADtv!
23:54Oh, hey, aren't you?
23:59That was a very entertaining set, young bro.
24:03Thanks, man, thanks.
24:04But what are you doing here?
24:06I have come to deliver a message to these young people.
24:10Wait a minute.
24:11To these young people?
24:12Uh, I don't think this is exactly the kind of audience you use.
24:15The message is what's important, Leon.
24:17The message will speak louder than the speaker.
24:20Okay, I hope so.
24:23I mean, you're the man.
24:24You know what I'm saying?
24:25Ladies and gentlemen, Deaf Comedy Jam is proud to introduce
24:28Martin Luther King Jr.
24:31Give it up!
24:38Good evening, brothers and sisters.
24:40I'm happy to be here in New York City this evening.
24:43New York City is a wonderful, majestic place.
24:51It is a great city on a great scale.
24:54It is a great testament to humanity when a man puts his back into his mind's work.
24:58You can get off now.
24:59Goodbye.
25:01Take off.
25:02Goodbye.
25:03But New York City is also a great place of because of what it can represent.
25:11Speaking as a single voice, a true voice.
25:19Brothers, brothers, brothers, brothers and sisters, please!
25:22Please let me finish!
25:28Would y'all please shut the f*** up!
25:30And New York City is all of these things.
25:42There's a cold wind, a wind that blows prejudice, that separates our black brothers and sisters.
25:47All I'm trying to say is it gets cold as a f*** up here.
25:56Yes!
25:58All the ladies wearing fur coats to cover all that booty.
26:02Yes!
26:03You can never tell how big the booty is under them fur coats.
26:07You get them girls home and you take off that fur coat and you go,
26:10Damn, baby, I didn't know your booty was so big.
26:13You need a moose fur to cover all that ass!
26:17Yeah.
26:18And a man is only strong as his woman.
26:21That's right.
26:22Good job.
26:23As the Bible says, she is the bone in his back and the spring in his step.
26:29The angel on his shoulder, the God's a true and just man.
26:32And I have come here tonight to cash a check.
26:35You want to sit outside?
26:38Oh, like they pay me at this f***.
26:42Yeah.
26:43Yeah.
26:44You ever gone to one of them chick cashing pleases and stand behind one of them fat brothers that smell like hot ballooning?
26:51You be like, damn, brother, you got to rush your stuff.
26:54You got to rush your stuff.
26:56Yeah.
26:57But seriously, brothers and sisters, I've been my fair share of tapping some booty.
27:01Oh, yeah.
27:03And I remember I was having one girl and she was saying,
27:06Marty, Marty, slow down.
27:10And I said, I'm not concerned about that now.
27:13I just want to do God's will and he's allowing me to get to the mountaintop.
27:18Now, you may not get there with me, brothers in the front.
27:21You know what I'm talking about.
27:23But I want you to know tonight, I will get to the promised land.
27:27I'm hitting the booty and I said, my eyes have seen the coming of the Lord.
27:32Amen.
27:33Real life!
27:35Real life!
27:36They got money on real life!
27:39Give it up for Martin McCann Jones!
27:41Hey guys, you like to watch basketball?
28:01Hell yeah!
28:02You like to watch women's basketball?
28:05Hell no!
28:05Well, I'll bet you'll like to watch these women
28:08in the new Women's Basketball League,
28:11The Envy T&A!
28:13Check out the players!
28:15Zandra Double D,
28:18Candy Kissin',
28:20Verna Vixen,
28:22Lydia Lovejoy,
28:25Debbie Dupree,
28:27Tammy Tingo,
28:29Amber Amour,
28:32Tawny Titterling!
28:34Wait a minute, I gotta see that again!
28:37Oh yeah!
28:40Michael Jordan eats your heart out!
28:45It's basketball action the way you want it!
28:48No men,
28:49no scoreboard,
28:51no rims,
28:52but who cares?
28:54It's the Envy T&A!
28:56They can't pass!
28:59They can't jump ball!
29:05But look at them dribble!
29:07And we can't even show you the cheerleaders!
29:09Foul!
29:10Uh-oh!
29:11Foul!
29:12That means the wet jersey foul!
29:13But in the Envy T&A, the more fouls the better, huh guys?
29:18Yes!
29:19Technical foul!
29:20Uh-oh!
29:21That means the pit!
29:23The fouls are more fun than the games!
29:26No basketball was never like this!
29:30More action!
29:31More girls!
29:33More, uh, you know,
29:35Don't miss the action this Sunday when the New Jersey Nymphos face the Chicago Go Girls!
29:40We're gonna kick their ass!
29:42Yeah!
29:43Yeah!
29:44Yeah!
29:45Yeah!
29:46Yeah!
29:47Yeah!
29:48Yeah!
29:49Yeah!
29:50No!
29:51Oh!
29:52Oh, yeah!
29:53Yeah!
29:54Yeah!
29:56Yeah!
29:57What did I tell you guys?
30:03The Envy T&A!
30:05These girls are pros!
30:08Hey, Jalen Rose of the Indiana Pacers!
30:11What do you think of Envy T&A basketball?
30:13I love this game!
30:16The Envy T&A!
30:18Coming this winter to Vox!
30:24Yeah!
30:25Let the people know what they watch!
30:26Yeah, of course!
30:27You are not watching my TV!
30:29Oh, you're such a baby!
30:30I'll put my thing on camera!
30:32Man!
30:33You are not watching my TV!
30:37Mad!
30:40And now, ladies and gentlemen!
30:43Mad TV is proud to present the man who has broken every attendance record in Las Vegas!
30:48Look out, David Copperfield!
30:49Step aside, Siegfried and Roy!
30:51For here is the true master of magic!
30:53Tavari!
30:54Tavari!
30:55Tavari!
30:56The End
30:57PBS
30:59The End
34:109, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
34:57Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Sandra Bernhardt.
34:59Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Sandra Bernhardt.
35:29You know, the other day I stopped to have a sloppy tom.
35:30you know the other day i stopped to have a sloppy tom that's a barbecued turkey sandwich
35:40at the best western coffee shop up on franklin and vine you know the last cappuccino before the 101
35:47and the hostess looked really familiar and um mitch and i noticed that and i i asked her if
35:56we'd ever met before and she smiled and threw back her hair and kind of a husky english accent
36:01she said oh yeah you might remember me as the other girl in fleetwood mac but i got so burned
36:09out on the road too much drama too many all-nighters and then mick and i split up so i thought i'd
36:15get a day gig it'd be really healing and i love it here i sit there at the piano in between seating
36:22and you know what i love most the people let me do the songs that i want to hear
36:29and i want to do this song for you right now sandy
36:33for you there will be no more crying for you the sun will be shining and i feel that when i'm with you
37:02for you it's all right i know it's right
37:09for you i'll give the world to you i'll never be called
37:30and i feel that when i'm with you it's all right i know it's right
37:45and the songbird keeps singing like they know the score and i love you i love you i love you
38:04like never before
38:09you know i feel like i've been living out of an embroidered bag way too long
38:15hey sandy did i ever tell you the time that stevie almost put out my eye with one of the fringes of her shawl almost smacked me when she was twirling madly about
38:25i had to wear a patch for six months but you know stevie's such a doll i could never compete with her
38:32the way she wove her magic twirling madly
38:36hey save that last piece of chocolate cake for sandy would you
38:43you know if you ever want to chill out i can get you a shift here at the restaurant
38:47it's so damn soothing we could write some songs and kick back would you think about it
38:54and i wish you all the love in the world but most of all i wish it for myself
39:13and the songbird keeps singing like they know the score
39:24and i love you i love you i love you like never before
39:36yes i love you i love you i love you like never before
39:51did you want fries or coleslaw with that sloppy tom darling
39:57mitch kaplan on keyboards thank you
40:11there's nothing here but now there's something here or something i don't know
40:14bing bing bing
40:18you're watching mad tv
40:20you are not watching mad tv
40:25that's the show i want to thank the cast of mad tv and thanks to you for watching
40:38good night
40:40i was walking down an alley in paris fat sweaty nervous lonely looking for romance
40:54i ran into francois beautiful friend of mine
40:57i ran into francois beautiful friend of mine
41:01and we drove to the 17th rose the mall completely out of our minds
41:07i have a little trust
41:09faith
41:10joie de vivre
41:12tears were falling by then
41:14was he talking to me
41:17do i have to go and make it
41:20you know i want to make it
41:22oh baby baby baby baby baby you know i've got to shake it tonight
41:29it's gonna be alright
41:33look at all the pretty young boys
41:35you know they could be my toys
41:37i'm gonna snap my fingers and say
41:40come to mama
41:42free and left free and left
41:44free and left
41:45benefit
41:46woo
41:48do i have to go
41:50too
41:51that's that's it
41:52you know
41:54thank you
41:56i have the heart of it
41:57but if i can get me
41:58the heart of it
41:59and you know
42:00it's hard to go
42:01you're not just a part of it
42:02have to go
42:03you
42:04have to go
42:05and i've got that
42:06the heart of it
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