- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes, the Tri-County Beauty and Talent Contest is up for grabs.
00:06Everybody's grabbing.
00:07There you go!
00:08We gotta make sure that Daisy Duke don't enter that contest.
00:12Daisy ain't ready!
00:14Come on, General!
00:17Nobody welches on Big Jim Mavis!
00:22Faster! Faster!
00:24Faster!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Meets all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them
00:58But the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:03The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more
01:11Than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true
01:23Modern day Robin Hood
01:32Now the general ain't racing
01:34And he ain't chasing
01:35But he's sure burning rubber
01:36He's trying to get to the biggest cultural event in Hazard
01:39The finals of the first annual Tri-County Beauty, Talent, and Mechanicals After 2 Contest
01:44And Daisy is entered
01:45If she can get there on time
01:47Uncle Jesse, what time is it?
01:50It's just a little bit later than it was when you asked me about 2 minutes ago
01:54It is now 17 minutes after 10
01:57You got 13 more minutes to get there
01:59Bo, do you think we're gonna make it?
02:01Come on, Daisy, has the general Lee ever let a lady down before?
02:07What makes you so old-fired sure I'm gonna win anyhow?
02:10Daisy, look, there's two reasons
02:12First of all, talent here in these parts
02:15Doesn't mean twirling the baton
02:16Or pounding on the piano
02:18It means fixing and racing cars
02:20And second of all, there ain't no girl here in Hazard County
02:23Or the other two counties for that matter
02:25That can do either of those things as good as you can
02:38Now, of course, old Luke don't know about the competition
02:40Miss Melanie Dubois
02:42And her sponsor, Big Jim Mathers
02:44Now, if you think they're straight
02:45I got some Tennessee Beats property that I'd like to sell to you
02:49Oh, well, well, well, and well
02:51As I live and breathe
02:52It's Big Jim Mathers of Hatsapique County
02:56Ain't seen you in a hound phase
02:58Oh, sure, sure we have
02:59Just the other day
03:00I'd like to introduce y'all to Miss Melanie Dubois
03:05Oh, well, I'm sure I'm pleased to meet you, honey
03:09All right, all right
03:11Current reform?
03:12Yes, you sure filled out your form, didn't you, honey?
03:15Got a well-filled-out form
03:17Here, just ring this thing up, please
03:18Ring this up here
03:19Now, just slip that in there
03:21That's it
03:24All right
03:25There it is
03:26Oh, you stop punching that thing
03:28Now then
03:29You are officially entered in the competition
03:31Yeah
03:32Competition from around here
03:34Don't make me laugh
03:37Oh
03:41All right, you got it?
03:42Yeah
03:4210,000 in large bills
03:45Yes
03:46And 10,000 reasons, Hogg
03:49To break every bone in your little fat body
03:51If my Miss Melanie don't win this competition
03:54There ain't no way that she can lose
03:56No, I mean, the only one around here
03:58To even be in the run
03:59And his local gal, Dizzy Duke
04:00And I fixed it so that she can't even enter
04:03Yeah
04:04Well, you better have, Hogg
04:06Because if you don't keep that Duke gal out of Miss Melanie's hair
04:09I will
04:10Big Jim means business
04:12He'd send his mama to prison
04:14If he thought he had a chance of getting them license plates for free
04:17Hey, where'd them things come from?
04:19Well, we've seen Cletus putting them up about a half an hour ago
04:22And we came through here
04:24There ain't no real detour, though
04:25Well, that means we don't have to take it
04:27Hang on, y'all
04:31One detour going by
04:33I'd like to have my $2,500 right now
04:36What $2,500 may that be?
04:38That's a 50% of my 50% of your 50%
04:40Uh-uh, uh-uh, you ain't getting one thin dime
04:42I ain't
04:43No siree, Bob, not yet anyhow
04:44Because first, I need every penny of this here little amount
04:47To develop and build my solar-powered steel
04:50Solar-powered steel?
04:52Are you kidding me?
04:53There ain't no such thing as no solar-powered steel
04:56Don't you know what solar means?
04:58Well, uh
04:58From the sun, don't you get it?
05:00Them little solar cells?
05:01Oh, that one
05:02Yeah, that's it
05:03Sunshine makes moonshine makes moon
05:07And no ashes to haul
05:08No, no
05:09Yeah, no smoke
05:10No smoke
05:10So the revenuers could see it
05:12Or nothing like that
05:13No, no, no, no
05:14Listen, I'll tell you something
05:15That is foolproof
05:16Well, you ought to know
05:19Except for one little itty-bitty detail
05:22We've got to make sure that Daisy Duke don't enter that beauty contest
05:25Got to make sure Daisy Duke don't enter the beauty contest
05:32Server to command post
05:34Server to command
05:35Uh-huh
05:36Cleetish, this is no time for yodeling
05:38Get on with the report
05:43What?
05:44What?
05:44Uh, General Lee
05:46What?
05:47What?
05:48What'd he say?
05:49What'd he say?
05:50General Lee just passed checkpoint alpha
05:52Oh, it's bad news, bad news
05:55Uh, you see
05:56They drove right on through those saw horses we put up
05:59And now Cleetish wants us to come out there
06:01And get him off the hook
06:02Well, not till I get off the hook with Big Jim
06:05But, boss, you're not on the hook yet
06:06We can keep Daisy from signing up for that beauty contest
06:09As long as we can keep her from getting past checkpoint bravo
06:12Oh, I ain't waiting for checkpoint bravo
06:15Well, we're not
06:15I'm gonna retreat to my office right now
06:17Come on, grab that clock and let's go
06:19Come on, get it
06:20Come on, come on
06:21Come on
06:22Come on
06:30Uh, y'all wait here while I find out
06:33Why that fat little rat is desertin' the ship
06:45Breaker one, breaker one
06:46Might be crazy, but I ain't dumb crazy
06:47Cooter comin' at ya
06:48Bowin' a little gookie
06:49You home on a hazard net, come on
06:51Here's a lost sheep comin' back at ya
06:53Cooter, what's on your mind?
06:54Hey, lost sheep
06:54J.D. Hoggy's on my mind as usual
06:56I just wanna let y'all know
06:57That he just moved a time clock indoors
06:59Much obliged for that information
07:01We'll head straight there as soon as we get to town
07:32All right, push that clock down there on the desk
07:49One of these days, I'm gonna take these saws and fix them doors
07:58Oh, dang it
07:59I got an idea
08:09One minute till the deadline
08:12Oh, I got them Duke's feet this time, Roscoe
08:15Big Jim, ain't no way Daisy Duke can get herself into them
08:18Miss Tri-Counties Contest, now
08:20Go away
08:21Look, oh, we're being invaded
08:25Roscoe, stop us
08:26Move, move, move, move
08:28There, Daisy Duke
08:30All right, you do, freeze, freeze, freeze
08:33You're arrested for trespassing
08:34Oh, Roscoe, you're too late
08:36And you can't arrest us for trespassing
08:37Because this here's a county building
08:39And it's supposed to be open to the public during business hours
08:40In case you're forgetting, we are the public
08:43But we'll be gone before you can count to one
08:44Boss, here's my entry form for the Miss Tri-Counties Beauty Contest
08:48Stop, bye
08:49There we go
08:52Later on, boss
08:54She's gonna drop down
08:59Seven seconds
09:00She beat the deadline by seven pitty, pitty seconds
09:07Once she was entered the contest right and proper
09:10It didn't take Daisy too long to meet the competition
09:13Well, you must be Daisy Duke
09:16Well, I sure am, sugar
09:17Where are you?
09:18Well, in a couple of days
09:19They'll be calling me Miss Tri-Counties
09:21Ain't you just jumping the gun a little bit, sweetheart?
09:24I mean, the contest ain't even started yet
09:25Well, I just wanted to give Daisy a chance to quit
09:27Before I embarrass her in front of all her friends
09:36She's a modest little cuss, ain't she?
09:39Well, she knows something we don't
09:42Oh, doesn't matter, whatever it is
09:44We gotta get over to Cooter's so you can show me how to build that carburetor, Luke
09:48Meantime, boss and Big Jim are having a down-home business discussion
09:51Welch and Bucket of Blubber
09:53Is this what you call keeping the Duke girl out of the contest?
09:56Yeah, yeah
09:58I mean, no, no, no, I don't mean, oh, I don't know what I mean
10:01Now, I've got a good mind to take back my money and do things my way
10:05Don't do that, Big Jim, no, leave the money with me, yeah
10:08Everything will turn out all right
10:09Your lady friend's gonna win
10:10And as for doing things your way
10:12Look, I don't want nobody roughed up
10:15Especially yourself
10:16Which is just what's gonna happen if Melanie don't win
10:19You see, she won't keep me happy
10:22If y'all don't keep her happy
10:24And if you make her unhappy
10:26That makes me unhappy
10:28So she better win
10:30Jim
10:38If he made him happy, he made me happy
10:41Oh, no, no, no, no, stop from here
10:43Oh, he's me, he's me
10:44Oh, my, oh, my
10:45A few threats don't bother old Boston, hon
10:49But that model of that solar-powered steel
10:51Old Boston could already see himself just revolutionizing the whiskey business
11:07That's the best time ever
11:09Two minutes and 54 seconds
11:11I'm telling you, yeah
11:12I couldn't have done that better myself
11:14I don't think I could do much better either
11:15You know, if I win, it's gonna be because of you all
11:17Oh, come on, Daisy
11:19What do you mean, if?
11:20Your sense to win the best mechanic, you know that
11:22But if I know J.D. and I do know it
11:24He's gonna do everything in his power
11:27To keep a Duke from winning that contest
11:28You know, it just doesn't make sense
11:30If I win, it's so much publicity for the boar's nest
11:33Hey, I bet he's saving that prize money for Lulu
11:35I guess we gotta be ready for every possibility, huh?
11:39Listen, we got ourselves a contest to run now
11:41So just simmer it all down
11:43Hold up
11:44That's right
11:45Pay attention up here
11:47Folks, it's now my privilege and pleasure
11:50To introduce to you our first finalist
11:52Sponsored by the Reverend County Sheriff's Department
11:56Deputy Lou Ann Millsap
11:58Otherwise known as Miss Riverden County
12:02And now over here's our second finalist
12:08Sponsored by a distinguished gentleman from out of town
12:12Who shall remain nameless
12:13Miss Melody DuVois
12:15Otherwise known as Miss Hatchipee County
12:18No way
12:28And then over here, folks
12:31Our third finalist
12:34Last but least
12:36Sponsored by the Tri-Counters 4-H Club
12:40J.D.
12:41Oh, yeah, excuse me
12:42A local lady whose name, uh, slipped my mind for the moment
12:47Miss Hatchipee County
12:56Hold it, hold it
12:58All right, all right
12:59Now hear all the rules
13:00Listen
13:01This here concert is divided into three parts
13:03Beauty, driving, and mechanical ability
13:06And now we'll come to the first part
13:08In which we'll find out which of these lovely ladies is the best mechanic
13:11So we've given each one of them a disassembled carburetor
13:17And the first one of these lovely ladies to reassemble this disassembled carburetor
13:22With each and every part put back right where it goes in the first place
13:26Will be declared the winner of this event
13:29All right, ladies
13:30There are them little boos
13:31Now just step inside and we'll get started
13:34Yeah, but don't begin until I get the signal now
13:36All right
13:37All right
13:41I can tell it when he's got something up his sleeve
13:43And he's got something up his sleeve
13:45He's up to something
13:46Uncle Jesse, don't make no difference
13:47Daisy can take care of herself just fine
13:48All right
13:49Now, get ready
13:51Get set
13:52Go
13:54Just to show everything's on the up and up
13:56And so we'll have no coaching from the sidelines
13:58I'm gonna ask Cletus to do his duty
13:59Cletus, do it
14:00You bet, tell you, boss
14:01See what I said
14:02Uh-huh
14:18Come here
14:20You sure that Daisy can't see nothing in there?
14:23Nothing else
14:24She's half hoot out
14:52He told me you had evidence
14:55Getting under control
14:56Yeah
14:57Nobody welches on big Jim Mavis
15:01No, but yeah
15:03Wait, what is it?
15:04Yeah
15:06All right, all right
15:07Wait a minute, wait a minute
15:08Daisy Duke
15:09You cheated
15:10Ain't no way anybody could put a carburetor like that together again so fast
15:14Under the circumstances
15:16You mean because the light in my booth wasn't working, huh, boss?
15:19Oh, it wasn't?
15:20Lucky Luke showed me how to do it blindfolded
15:22That's a fact
15:22Standard procedure in the Marines
15:24Be able to disassemble and reassemble a carbine blindfold
15:27Well, carbines and carburetors
15:29Hey, everybody
15:30How do we know that Daisy Duke put this thing together right?
15:33Maybe she overlooked a couple of itty-bitty little pieces
15:35Oh, you mean like those two jet valves that were missing?
15:38He hear that?
15:39She had missed the carburetor, it ain't complete
15:41J.D., you dirty
15:42Oh, Uncle Jesse, please don't start anything
15:45Now, I didn't have as many parts as the other girls had to assemble
15:48And, well, I'd like to forfeit first place
15:50But wait a minute, you can't do that
15:52It's just what he did
15:53Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy
15:55If that's the way Daisy feels, well, that's the way it's gonna be
15:57If she wants to forfeit, she'll forfeit
16:00Thank you
16:01J.D., she's gonna beat you in the other two categories
16:05You watch
16:06Since Daisy forfeited the talent contest to Melanie
16:09Old boss ought to be as happy as a mouse trapped in a block of cheese
16:12But he ain't
16:14Good news!
16:15Yes!
16:16Good news!
16:17Hey, boss, I got something here that's gonna warm the cockles of your fat little heart
16:21Yeah?
16:21Well, I'm gonna warm your skinny britches if you don't stop interrupting my exercising
16:25I got very little time to get in shape
16:27In shape?
16:28For what?
16:29For running away from Big Jim Mather, that's what
16:31Oh
16:32You know what he said he'd do to us if that lady friend of his don't win that race tomorrow
16:35Are you kidding me?
16:37I'll knock
16:39Did you say us?
16:41I did
16:41Does that mean me and you?
16:44Listen, boss
16:46Faster, faster
16:47Listen, I wanna take this walk by myself
16:49Get off of this thing, will you?
16:52Listen, boss
16:53It doesn't really make no difference anyway
16:55Because Big Jim's girlfriend is gonna win that race
16:58This paper guarantees it
16:59Yeah, well, only if you take it and blindfold Daisy Duke with it
17:02Yeah, well, ain't nobody gonna be able to beat her when she's driving that orange clunker car over Cousins
17:07Well, listen, boss
17:07Just please, just read this paper from the state capitol
17:10Yeah, I got a better idea
17:11I'm gonna take this paper
17:13Oh, I'm having a motor vehicle
17:15Yeah
17:15A list of 14 expired driving licenses in Hazard County
17:19And one of those licenses is Daisy Duke's
17:21That means she can't enter the race
17:23She can't do it
17:23I love it, I love it
17:24As a matter of fact
17:25She ain't got any rights driving at all
17:29Hallelujah
17:30Listen, you get right out there and you run her in
17:33I'll do it
17:33I'll do it
17:34Oh, my
17:34Oh, my
17:35That's a really
17:36Oh, wait a minute
17:39What am I running like this for?
17:41I don't have to get in shape now
17:44Oh, my
17:50All right, this seems like you got to take the turn real, real wide
17:52And then you snake on down in the center
17:54Just like an old bull coming out of a rodeo chute
17:57Okay
17:58Well, you want to pull over and let me try it?
17:59Shoot, you already know how to do it better than he does
18:02Well, there's Roscoe
18:03What?
18:03Well, he's selling it
18:04Well, whatever it is, we ain't got time to buy it
18:06Get it
18:07Come on, let's go
18:19Now, here comes trouble
18:21Boss is county road maintenance water truck
18:23Watering down dirt roads on our little country graft
18:26Sometimes old boss just can't miss
18:28If he don't get them one way, he'll get them another
18:51We better make sure Roscoe ain't drowned
19:04Roscoe!
19:05Oh, I love this, I love this
19:06You need some help?
19:08If I do need help, it ain't from no duke, I'll tell you that
19:12Of course, Flash ain't so particular
19:14Good
19:16Well, now, you two are all right
19:17We're just going to take off then
19:19No, you're not
19:19Just freeze it right there
19:20And just stay frozen until I give Daisy a ticket
19:24For driving with an invalid license
19:26What are you talking about, Roscoe?
19:28This license is just fine
19:30Well, that expired last week
19:33Oh, I love it
19:34It's music to my ears
19:35Yeah, well, then your ears are playing the wrong tune
19:37Because Daisy wasn't driving, it was Luke
19:39That's right
19:39So she couldn't have broke the law
19:40It don't make no difference
19:41I can keep her from driving in a Miss Tri-County race
19:44Good, that's exactly what I'm going to do
19:46Now, you all just move it on out of here
19:48Before I arrest you for the law
19:49Thanks a lot
19:50Go on
20:15Something tells me that this ain't going to be too easy
20:17Something tells me that this ain't going to be too easy
20:30Oh, yeah, wish me luck
20:31Oh, shoot
20:31You got this thing, Luke?
20:32Do you know that, Daisy?
20:33Good girl
20:35Uh-huh
20:35I suspicioned that
20:36Say it to y'all
20:38Boss?
20:39What in the heck are you doing in here?
20:41The regular DMV examiner, Vern Baskin
20:44Took it into his head just half an hour ago
20:46To take his four weeks vacation up north
20:48All expenses paid
20:49So according to local law, I've been appointed his substitute
20:53Well, it doesn't matter
20:54I can pass the test no matter who gives it to me
20:56Now, when do you want to start, boss?
20:58I'm still boning up on this here job
21:00And I don't think I'm going to be ready to give my first test
21:03Until this time tomorrow morning
21:05But the Miss Tri-County's race starts this afternoon
21:07Oh, well, ain't there the frustrating turn of events?
21:11Boss, we ain't going to take this laying down
21:12Well, now, all's not lost
21:14I mean, there's going to be lots of DMV examiners all over the state
21:18Who'd be happy to give Daisy a driving tip
21:21Too bad they just don't happen to be here in the house of Cali
21:24Come on, y'all, let's get moving
21:25We're wasting our time here
21:27I'll say
21:30Bye
21:39Well, what are we going to do now?
21:41Just exactly what boss said
21:43We're going to find one of them examiners
21:44I'd be more than happy to give you the test
21:46We can go over to Chickasaw County
21:47Oh, I don't know about that
21:48Y'all be breaking your probation
21:49Oh, come on, Daisy
21:51If we don't do that
21:52Then all them kids at the 4-H club
21:53Ain't going to get that $500 you promised them when you win
21:55That's right
21:56Besides, we beat Tara for a little before we can do it again
21:58That's right
21:59Okay
21:59In the car
22:01In the car
22:03It's Harry's
22:10I'd better read this
22:11I might have to give it to you
22:14Listen, boss
22:14Listen, something's been bothering me
22:16I was just wondering
22:17If you really don't want Daisy Duke to win that big race
22:20How come you practically told them
22:21How she could get her license renewed?
22:23Because I'm giving them Dukes a double whammy
22:26How?
22:27You know what the closest DMV testing office is to Heather, don't you?
22:31It's over in Chickasaw, isn't it?
22:32And Bo and Luke Duke are going to have to break their probation just getting there
22:36Oh, goody-do, you took my way
22:40Hello, Mabel
22:42This is J.D. Hogg
22:44Say hello from Roscoe
22:45I will not
22:45Listen, give me Sheriff Little over in Chickasaw, Captain
22:49Sheriff Little, are you kidding?
22:50You can't trust a man like that, he's too honest
22:52Well, I can trust him
22:54I mean, because
22:56He's got to pay me back
22:57For lots of things I've done for him
22:59And whether I can trust him or not
23:01I'll bet once he's nailed Bo and Luke Duke
23:03He'll be happy to detain Daisy Duke as a material witness
23:07So after that race is over
23:08Oh, that's good
23:10A couple hours later
23:11Daisy and the boys was deep in the heart of Chickasaw
23:13And up to their hubcats and Trump
23:15The DMV's about ten minutes away
23:18Hey, Daisy, how long do you suppose that test gonna take you?
23:20Why don't you give me a half hour door-to-door
23:22Just to be on the safe side?
23:24See, a half an hour door-to-door
23:26It's gonna be cutting off the clothes
23:27Don't you worry
23:27We'll get you back in time for the race
23:29Providing we don't get into any trouble before then
23:32He's just been going too smooth to suit me
23:36Oh, shoot, I should have thought of it
23:37The boss wouldn't tell us about the other DMV examiners
23:40Unless there's some sort of catch to it
23:47Oh, there's your catch, honey
23:48Boss probably called him before we even got out of hand
23:50Well, I'll tell you what
23:51I ain't gonna pull over for no setup
23:53Y'all hang on
23:59Oh, and Luke Duke is here, Sheriffman
24:02Slow down and pull over
24:14Slow down and pull over
24:20Don't look like we're gonna be able to lose her for more than a couple minutes at a time
24:23Well, that's still on
24:24But look, all we gotta do is drop her off
24:27Drop Daisy off at the DMV
24:29And then give her just enough time
24:31Stay ahead of Sheriff
24:32Little until she gets down with her driver's license
24:33Right?
24:34Well, I can help him see after I get my license, though
24:36Well, you just wait out on the street
24:38We'll kind of fly on by
24:39You jump in the window
24:40He'll pick you up
24:40Take you back to Hassett
24:41We got it, man
24:42Just provided he don't catch us first
25:12Come on, y'all
25:14While Daisy was taking her DMV test
25:17Now, I don't see how that's gonna work
25:20Besides, it looks like old Sheriff Little's taking the driving test
25:26Let's get back to the right eye and would you read the third line?
25:41Oh, here's your temporary license
25:43Thank you
26:00Now, folks, listen here
26:02The reason this beer's on the house
26:04Is so we can all drink a toast to the next Miss Tri-County
26:16Don't worry, darling
26:17I got him in my hip pocket
26:20You better have
26:21He laughs this one up
26:23And I'm leaving
26:27There's a nice Miss Tri-County
26:32I reckon Daisy Ducal has something to say about that
26:35Well, that's true
26:37Biden, she's here to say it
26:38I wonder where they are
26:41I bet
26:42We better give him a call
26:51He's still with us
26:52Well, as long as he ain't close enough to arrest us, we'll be all right
26:55Last sheep and bo-peep, this is Shepard, come back
26:57Last sheep and bo-peep, this is Shepard, come back
27:00Last sheep here, Uncle Timmy
27:02Where in Thunderation are you?
27:04What, about 10 miles north of Chickstock City?
27:06North?
27:07What?
27:08Why in tarnation are you heading away from Hansard?
27:10Well, we can't hardly help that
27:12You see, we got Sheriff Little hard on our team
27:20We're gonna crash!
27:22Get the brakes!
27:22It's too late
27:24Shoot, to the Dukes, that's about like taking Grandma for a Sunday drive
27:34I don't believe it
27:44Y'all listen
27:45If you ever drive through Chickasaw, don't ever make him mad
27:51This is Shepard, the lost sheep, are you all right?
27:53Yeah, we're all right
27:54Let's go, Sheriff Little
27:56Good, I'll be waiting
27:57Shepard over now
27:58First road we come to
27:59We'll head right on back to Hansard
28:01And people say
28:03Where'd you get all that gray hair, Mr. Duke?
28:06Cooter needed to take care of a little business in town
28:08Like billing the county for fixing old Roscoe's patrol car about a dozen times a month
28:13In fact, if the Dukes quit driving, old Cooter would have to go back to the chicken farm
28:19Big Jim's bodyguard was taking advantage of old Boss's not being around
28:23To make sure Melanie would win the race
28:25According to this, the one-quarter point is at Willow Creek
28:28Now, Big Jim wants you to wait there and take out anybody that's ahead of Melanie
28:32I'll be at the three-quarter point
28:34Down here near Cherokee Bluffs
28:35If the Duke girl ain't out of the race by then
28:38I'll take her out
28:39What was really amazing is Cooter understood him
28:52Breaker, breaker, boatkeep, lost sheep, y'all home to Hazard
28:54Old Cooter figured on warning Daisy and the boys over the CB
28:57But they was on the other side of Iron Mountain by then
29:00And they couldn't hear him calling
29:01In fact, you can't even think straight sitting on Iron Mountain
29:04So, old Cooter took off for the starting line
29:08Now, since Daisy forfeited the corporator contest
29:10Well, she's got to win the driving
29:12And she can't do that if she ain't here
29:14You know, man, I just hate it when things are stacked up against Daisy
29:18Listen, boss, don't their vehicles look beautiful?
29:21You're shiny already for the race
29:23They're not a generally in sight
29:25Which means that Big Jim Martha's lady friend's got a win
29:28Oh, she's got a win
29:29Which means I'm off the hook and in the cloak
29:31Right in the cloak
29:32Which means that I can almost hear that hooch
29:36Swirling through my soul if I was still there's beer in me
29:39I hear the hooch going, buddy
29:41I wouldn't be too sure of that, boss
29:42Look over yonder
29:46It's the Duke
29:48Little was supposed to happen in the slammer by now
29:50I know it, I gotta do something fast
29:52All right, you two cars
29:54Get this to start
29:55And I say three
29:56What are you doing, J.D.?
29:58One
29:59You can't start this race yet, too
30:02Now, don't worry about it, buddy
30:03Daisy ain't ready
30:05I ain't waiting
30:06Three
30:29Listen to me, whoa, we got trouble now
30:31Big Jim Mather's boys are staked up alongside that road
30:34To make sure nobody wins that race that Big Jim's gal
30:36Especially Daisy
30:37How they plan to stop her?
30:38I don't know
30:39All I know is one of them is at Willow Creek
30:40And the other one is at Cherokee Bluffs
30:42I don't like the sound of that
30:43Me neither
30:43There ain't no way we can get to Willow Creek before they do
30:45I do know a shortcut to Cherokee Bluffs
30:47So, come on
30:47All right
30:49My cooter!
30:50He's trucking
30:51Sure
30:51Now, if you're wondering why the boys didn't try to call Daisy on the CB
30:55Then things don't work
30:56If they ain't turned on
31:04Come on, General
31:51Come on, General
32:08Now, ain't that just like a woman
32:11Checking her hair first
32:14Come on, General
32:19Now, y'all gotta remember
32:25There's two races cooking here
32:27Daisy and Melody
32:28And the Duke boys after Big Jim's Trigger Man
32:40Look down there
32:41Got it
33:07Oh, we got him? What are we gonna do with him now?
33:10Just do watch
33:18Well, he don't look like he's hurting too bad
33:26Come on, Daisy!
33:34Y'all remember that the contest ain't over yet
33:37Daisy and Melody have each won one event
33:39And next comes the beauty part
33:42The one I've been waiting for
33:44Thanks, but General Lee did most of the work
33:46General Lee had to be driven to get here in that time
33:49And nobody could've done it, did it?
33:51Woo-hoo-hoo!
33:51Bless your little heart
33:53You won!
33:59Don't feel bad, little fat buddy
34:01I mean, Daisy may have won the race
34:03But on the other hand
34:04Big Jim's girlfriend
34:05Now, she's a better mechanic
34:07So going into the beauty contest
34:08I would say that they're both just dead evil
34:11Yeah?
34:11Well, let me tell you
34:13I hate them all
34:14Well, eat them
34:20You ain't going nowhere, Hog
34:23And if Melanie doesn't win
34:27The bathing suit contest
34:29It'll become Miss Tri-Counties
34:31I'm gonna take that $10,000 out of your hide
34:40Next morning, while Daisy stayed behind
34:42To finish making her bathing suit
34:44For the final event
34:44In the Miss Tri-Counties competition
34:47Well, Jesse and the boys went on ahead
34:49Just to make sure
34:50Boss wouldn't pull any last-minute
34:52Dirty tricks on Daisy
34:54Looks to me like
34:55They may have to widen that window
34:57You gotta cut down
34:58On them flapjacks in the morning
34:59Yeah, we're
35:19Hey, what are you doing here?
35:20Come on, lady
35:21Now, something told me
35:23They should never have left
35:30What do you want?
35:31Take it easy, lady
35:34Hey, hey
35:35Not to simmer down, lady
35:36Oh, we don't want to hurt you
35:37Let's get her in the car
35:38Nice going, Malone
35:59About now, old boss and big Jim
36:00Was gloating all over each other
36:03Disgusting
36:06Nothing
36:07But on the CB five minutes
36:08Can't raise high in her hair
36:10I let the phone ring out the house for that long
36:12And didn't get no answer
36:13She ain't there either
36:14Hey, maybe the jeep just broke down
36:15On the side of the road, huh?
36:16Hardly likely
36:16The jeep's in great shape
36:18She could fix it if she had to
36:19Yeah
36:20She ain't here
36:21And she ain't at the house
36:22She ain't in between
36:23I sure wish I knew where Daisy was
36:25Oh, you don't have to worry about Daisy
36:27None, Uncle Jesse
36:27He's fine
36:28Why?
36:29You know where she is?
36:30Well, I
36:31Nothing
36:31I just heard big Jim telling cousin Boxer
36:34That they would let her go
36:35Right after Melody won a contest
36:36Well, who's they?
36:38I don't know
36:39Nobody tells me nothing
36:40I'm just second cousin twice from home
36:42Much obliged, ladies
36:45Boy, don't that figure
36:47Boss Hogg and big Jim had Daisy kidnapped
36:49So she couldn't even be here for the contest
36:50Much less win it
36:51Where do you suppose she is?
36:53Roscoe's bound to be in this thing up to his neck
36:55So challenging these three here
36:57Ain't gonna do us no good
36:59She's bound to be with big Jim's bodyguards
37:01We gotta find that black car
37:04Let's go
37:04Uncle Jesse, come on
37:05That's just what they want
37:06Now if this contest starts
37:08And nobody's here for us
37:09Dukes
37:09They're just gonna disqualify Daisy like that
37:11We can't afford to waste no more time
37:12Let's get out of here
37:15Wait a minute, something's wrong
37:17Boy, Duke boy's just high tailed out of here
37:19Like the bitches were on fire
37:21Yeah
37:22Well, I guess they didn't believe me when I told him Daisy's all right
37:25You told him what?
37:26When I told him Daisy's okay
37:28You mean you spilled the beans?
37:30No, I just told him Daisy's all right
37:32He did more than that, Hogg
37:34He just put your fat in the fire
37:36You know what he can dang well pull it out of the fire
37:38Cleaters, you go after them boys, you hear me?
37:41Or I'm gonna fire you a sick and cousin
37:43Roscoe, you too
37:43I want them Duke boys arrested before they can cause any trouble
37:46On what charge?
37:49They'll figure out a charge after you nail him
37:51Go on
37:51I want to see the good looking girl he knew me
37:55You in a lot of trouble, boy
37:59Hey, wait a minute
38:00Hey, come here
38:01Come on
38:16All you out there who might be listening
38:18You've got big trouble
38:19This here's Bo and Luke Duke
38:21And we're looking for a four-door black sedan
38:24He'll be carrying two men
38:25And our cousin Daisy
38:27Now, anybody who sees it, get back to us quick
38:29We're going
38:29You fellas ain't got a chance now
38:31Everybody at Hansard's gonna be looking for you
38:33Why do you think I'm sticking to the back roads?
38:37Hey, Grogan, there's a stopped car up ahead
38:39Get around here
38:46Oh, no, you don't
38:47Get her back in here
38:53Anybody spotted that black sedan?
38:54Come back
38:57Dang it
38:57Ain't nobody gonna answer
38:59Well, Luke
39:00Cool luck now
39:01But that ain't the least of our problems
39:02We've got Roscoe and Cletus back there
39:04Well, we ain't got no time to deal with them
39:06Losing
39:14Cletus is your supreme superior officer
39:17Roscoe speaking
39:18You got a foot this time
39:19They're heading down Old Telegraph Road
39:21Now, you hook a right at the junction
39:22And head them off
39:23And I'll take a left
39:31Try this again
39:32Somebody out there must have seen that black sedan by now
39:34Come back, please
39:35Now ain't that a shame
39:37Nobody's answering
39:38We don't have any idea where we are
39:41This is Wayfair and Stranger
39:43Think I can help you
39:44Come back
39:44Something tells me they're about to get that idea you were talking about, mister
39:49Step on it
39:53Wayfair and Stranger
39:54You're coming through loud and proud
39:55What you got?
39:56A black sedan just passed me
39:58There was a pretty girl in back
39:59Who looked as if she was trying to get out
40:00What's your 20?
40:01On Old Stage Road
40:02About two miles south of the railroad crossing
40:05We got you
40:06We're much obliged
40:07We're gone
40:08Only about half a mile from here is the crow flies
40:10And hang on
40:11We's about to sprout wings
40:22All right, simmer down
40:23That says simmer down, folks
40:24Now listen
40:25We've come to the event
40:27That you've all been waiting for
40:29The swimsuit competition
40:31All right, simmer down
40:38Now then
40:38The majority of the principal contestants
40:41Are already here
40:42So I see no reason
40:43Why we just don't begin right now
40:45All right
40:45Yes, J.D., J.D.,
40:47Just kidding, J.D.,
40:48You can't start that event yet
40:49Daisy ain't here
40:51So what?
40:52I mean, she ain't got much of a chance anyhow
40:54All right, I'll tell you what I'll do
40:56Folks
40:57A correction
40:58Uh, the swimsuit competition
41:00Will start in exactly eight legs
41:04Minutes
41:06That couldn't be fair or good
41:14Meanwhile, the boys was cutting cross-country
41:18After that black sedan
41:19Roscoe and Cletus were still figuring on
41:21Cutting them off at the junction
41:22Only they figured wrong, huh?
41:34Don't scare them off
41:34Oh, no, you can't
41:35Hey, what the
41:37Get back here
41:54All right
41:54Nice going, guys
41:56We figured you'd grab the keys
41:58Yep
41:58There ain't no use in bringing in these two dudes
42:00Boss wouldn't let Roscoe arrest them anyway
42:02Hey, look
42:02We can get to the boar's nest in time
42:04For the last competition
42:05Come on, let's get going
42:05I'll get it, sir
42:06You can count on me
42:07Woo!
42:12And now, we'll continue
42:14The first pilot for the crown of Miss Cry County
42:17Miss Riverton County
42:19All right
42:27Here, folks
42:29Miss Riverton County
42:39That's one down and one to go
42:41Generally, you better keep moving right along
42:45All right, all right, all right
42:47Come on down, come on down
42:48Now, it presents all the contentment
42:51I care who let me tell you something about it
42:53He's just about ready to win this here contest
42:55With the one
42:56The only
42:59Melanie Dubois
43:00Miss Chance of Pink County
43:11I'll tell you this, Cooter, but
43:13My time's just about run out
43:22Well, let's just start a big fight
43:24Cooter, you can't do that
43:29Look up there
43:30The judges gave Miss Dubois
43:32Of Hatsby County
43:33Nine points each
43:35Oh, and that tops
43:36The runner-up
43:37Miss Riverton County
43:38By at least four points
43:39Or something like that
43:49Come on, Daisy
43:51Hey, it sounds like that competition's already started
43:55Well, as long as they don't finish it without you
43:56Come on
43:57Seeing that there's no more contestants
43:59Is there for an empower to put free
44:02The winner to be
44:05The judge is not over yet
44:09Oh, yeah, it is
44:09And they ain't gonna change their minds
44:11Boss, you've been against me from the beginning
44:14Now, it just ain't fair
44:15Well, look, you're out of uniform
44:16You're supposed to be wearing a swimsuit
44:18What do you think this is?
44:19What's this?
44:49and
44:56And that's how Daisy Duke became the first and probably the last missed tri-counties,
45:01which meant the 4-H club got the $500 that she promised.
45:10Big Tim took the $10,000 back, which threw old boss into a near-term fund.
45:17Good news, good news, baby, bad buddy.
45:21Oh, Roscoe's got a surprise.
45:24Which means that he got hungrier than normal.
45:27Of course, Roscoe came to the rescue there.
45:30Sort of.
45:40And Daisy won the contest as the best all-around gal in three counties.
45:45Gee, I could have told a man.
45:47Hey!
46:12guitar solo
46:31guitar solo
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