- 20 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes
00:02My nephew, Huey Hawk
00:05The meanest, back-bitingest, double-crossness, low-down hog in history is back in town
00:10And I love you for it
00:12Ain't trouble for the Dukes
00:16Rascal, I'll shoot
00:19Anchor up
00:21Give me my...
00:25This is the worst day of my life
00:27The bridge is out
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you never saw
00:44Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flattening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:09That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:14Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:30Now a lot of folks jog
01:31And hazard most of the jogging's done on four wheels or four legs
01:35In this case, they're six legs
01:37And two of them could stop a Confederate cavalry charge
01:41Either Ma Dean's been taking beauty lessons
01:43Or Daisy Bart herself won pretty horse
01:46Now Ma Dean ain't Jessie's girlfriend
01:48She's Jessie's me
01:59Well, well, it's old Huey Hall
02:01Trying to sneak his way back into hazard
02:21As you may have figured out by now
02:23Huey Hall is a boss's nephew
02:33Let's give her a hand
02:46Get the general just as close as you can
02:55All right, come on, a little closer, a little closer
02:57I'm getting it, I'm getting it
02:58Now be careful, she's the only good-looking cousin I got
03:02Come on, Daisy, come on, honey
03:06All right
03:09All right
03:10You gotta stop eating pancakes, girl
03:12You all right?
03:13Thank you
03:14You okay?
03:15Yes
03:15All right, boy, now
03:16Use the down to a stop now
03:24You all right, Daisy?
03:25Yes, thank you
03:27That horse really got away from me
03:28No wonder with that weasel Huey Hall
03:30Blowing that siren under his nose
03:31Hey, let's go pound some sense into him
03:33Hey, look, first we gotta catch that horse
03:35Then we'll go get Huey, all right?
03:37All right
03:42Hit it
03:47So, on behalf of all you good folks of Heather County
03:51I want to personally thank this very generous young man
03:55My nephew Huey Hall for donating to Heather County
04:00This brand spanking new used fire truck
04:05Brand spanking new used fire truck?
04:08I smell something and it ain't the wind from the stables, neighbor
04:11Huey, Huey Hall
04:12I hope you brought an ambulance with you
04:14Because you're gonna need it after we get through with you
04:16Spook and Daisy's horse like that
04:17It was an accident and I got witnesses
04:20Yeah, and if you lay one hand on my nephew
04:22Sheriff Coltrane's gonna lock you up where you'll rot
04:25Till the jailhouse crumbles around you
04:27Or even longer
04:28I'll cuff you and stuff you
04:30Now just scoop
04:31All right
04:32Huey, just remember
04:33If you got any more shenanigans in mind against the Duke family
04:36You better forget them
04:37So we just about had it
04:41Oh, I say
04:42If you boys are so all fired up with spitting vinegar
04:46Here's your chance to do something useful for a change
04:48Like what?
04:49Like joining the Hazard County Volunteer Fire Brigade
04:54You're wasting your time, Uncle Boss
04:56They're just chicken
04:57You wait just a minute
04:58Who you calling chicken, turkey?
05:00I hereby volunteer both me and Luke's services right now
05:03I suppose it is a good cause
05:04Even though y'all are involved
05:06Imagine Uncle Jesse probably want to join too
05:08Well, you won't be able to join any cause if you're in a slammer
05:11And that's what you're gonna be if you don't just scoop
05:13You know what I'll do?
05:15Yeah
05:15You're gonna arrest us for later
05:16Cuff us and stuff us and all that stuff, right?
05:18Oh, yeah, I could do that
05:20All right, thank you boys for joining
05:22That's very nice of you
05:23Everybody
05:25The presentation's all over with now
05:26So you can go on then
05:29See, I told you they fell for it
05:32Just like I said they would, Uncle Boss
05:34I'll have them Duke boys out of this town and in jail
05:37Before you can pluck a bald chicken bald
05:41And you know why I'm giving you a second chance, Huey?
05:43No
05:43Because you are the meanest
05:46Backbitingest
05:47Double-crossingest
05:49Lowdown hog in history
05:50And I love you for it
05:52Well, you know
05:53I always try and do my worst
06:01One more thing
06:02Your watch, sir
06:06You're rolling, sir
06:09I don't care what anybody says
06:11Anytime Huey Hogg shows up in Hazard
06:13All it means is trouble for us Dukes
06:15That's right
06:18Everybody's got a right to a second chance
06:19Now maybe he's turned over a new leaf
06:22Oh, Mr. Jesse
06:23Snake that sheds his skin is still a snake
06:26Well, you could be right, lady
06:28Breaker, Breaker
06:29This is a Hazard County fire alert
06:30Here's your chief
06:31Attention, all volunteer firemen
06:34This is Fire Commissioner J.D. Hoff speaking
06:36Now listen
06:37There's a very bad fire
06:39Over at St. Wheaton's Farm
06:41So I'm ordering all volunteer firemen
06:43To hightail it right over there on the double
06:45To meet my engine
06:47Over and out
07:00He looks like we're going to get four furs with one stone
07:04Huey, nephew boss to you
07:07Nephew boss to you
07:07Now let's get this shine stashed in the house now
07:10Oh, yes, yes, yes
07:11Got it, shine
07:12Yes
07:20Now the reason boss knew that there was a fire at Zach Wheaton's farm
07:23He told Zach to set it
07:25Zach did it
07:25Because boss held his morning
07:27Don't power corrupt something terrible
07:29Oh, no, no, no
07:31Sorry, folks
07:32Just a false alarm
07:33But maybe we'll get lucky and have a real fire next time
07:38Meanwhile, I want to thank you all for rising to the occasion
07:41You're getting here so clear
07:43Now just go home now
07:44That's all
07:44There's nothing more here
07:45Go away
07:46Goodbye now
07:48I don't like the smell of this
07:50That makes three of us
07:52He didn't call us out here on a wild goose chase for nothing
07:56Let's get home
07:56Yeah, I'm just
07:57Just something
08:01Oh, if you get your hands off the food, I'll say great
08:05Lord, we thank thee for this boundless table that was placed before us
08:09Amen
08:09Amen
08:16Y'all don't reckon that's another fire
08:20It's Roscoe and Cletus
08:22Good, Roscoe
08:24How's come he always manages to arrive between blessing and vittle?
08:29Get out
08:30Daisy, I got a warrant to search these premises
08:33Sure, Roscoe
08:34We got nothing to hide
08:35Well, we'll see about that
08:36I'll tell you what, Roscoe
08:38You find anything of value, we'll split it
08:40Oh, Jesse, I wish you wouldn't say that
08:43Say, y'all don't mind if we just go right ahead on eating, do you?
08:46Because by the time you find anything, our stew's going to be ice cold
08:48Well, Bo, I wouldn't bet the farm on that
08:51Let's see here
08:52Oh, not in the cookie jar
08:54Well, let's just look under here
08:58Oh, oh, looky, looky
09:00Oh, bad news, bad news
09:04Naughty, naughty
09:07Boy, that must be 200 proof
09:11Well, looks to me like you boys done violated your probation
09:15Roscoe, that's a dang line, you know it
09:17We never saw that shine before
09:18Roscoe, there ain't been one ounce of new shine in this house
09:21Since I promised the U.S. of A federal government that I would make no more
09:25Well, you old goat, I ain't arrestin' you
09:28I'm arrestin' these two
09:29You know, I love it
09:30I love it
09:30All right, Petey, let's cut them and stuff them
09:33I'm sorry, guys, ain't nothin' personal
09:35I love this part
09:37Roscoe, there's no hard feelings about it
09:38No hard feelings?
09:39They only get about 20 years out of it
09:41Well, I guess we'll see all in 20 years
09:44Yeah
09:44Ow!
09:47Get over it!
09:53What are you doing here anyway?
09:55Hush!
09:55Get up!
09:57Get away!
10:02Don't be like, go!
10:04Get up!
10:06Oh, oh, oh
10:16Wait for me, Wild Bill
10:37Alright, hold on!
10:51Oh, shoot, they're sticking us like fat on hog, John.
10:59Wait a minute, you've been giving Roscoe driving lessons?
11:01The creep.
11:14The Boe and Luke Duke, long may they live in the federal pen.
11:18And to Roscoe and Cletus, who should be catching them right now.
11:23Besides, that's the least of our problems.
11:25Watkins Bridge is still out.
11:27There's one heck of a time to tell.
11:32Now, would you just look at that?
11:34I don't even think the general could jump that far.
11:51You ain't going to trick me into making that jump and landing in a gully.
11:55Who are you?
11:56What did I tell you, Flash?
11:59There ain't nothing those dudes can do about it now.
12:01Good.
12:08What are you doing up there?
12:10You know you scuffed my vehicle.
12:12Get down here and help me out of here.
12:14Sure thing, Sheriff.
12:16As soon as I head off Boe and Luke.
12:17Wait.
12:18Peter.
12:28I presume you must be Jefferson Davis hog.
12:31Yeah, yeah, I am.
12:32But how'd you get in here?
12:33Listen, can't you read there's a sign outside that says closed for private port?
12:38You'd be surprised how many doors that opens.
12:40A.B. Stilwell, Chief Director, Southeastern Section, Internal Revenue Service.
12:46The Feds?
12:47Well, what would the Internal Revenue Service want with an honest citizen like Uncle Boss?
12:53Well, let's put it this way.
12:54When a man of his obvious affluence pays a total tax of $87.14 over a seven-year period,
13:02something smells rotten in a hog pen.
13:04What do you mean a man of obvious affluence?
13:06I'm just hanging on by a thread.
13:08You can hide cash, but not real estate.
13:11We'll check the county records.
13:13If you own property worth more than you said you've earned,
13:16you better get yourself a sharp lawyer.
13:19Now, wait a minute.
13:20You can't do that.
13:21You can't do that.
13:22Why can't he do that, Uncle Boss?
13:24Why?
13:25Well, because, uh, well...
13:28While you're figuring out the answer,
13:29I've scheduled the audit for 9 o'clock tomorrow morning.
13:33Have a good day, Mr. Hogue.
13:41What does he mean, good day?
13:43This is the worst day of my life.
13:49While Boss was poor, Mouton,
13:51old Cletus was doing better than he should,
13:54considering who he was.
13:59Oh, uh, dang, we got the tail on the went.
14:09Boss is on a bus.
14:10Ain't no way I can keep up with them Duke boys.
14:13If I didn't have me a shortcut.
14:21You, you are looking at one dead hog.
14:25When that IRS fellow examines the county records,
14:29he's gonna find it easier to list all the properties
14:31I don't own than the ones I do.
14:35Well, there's no problem, Uncle Boss.
14:38Look, the IRS can't prove that you've been cheating
14:40on your taxes if you haven't got anything to show for it.
14:45You put all your assets into someone else's name
14:48until after the audit.
14:49Then you take it back.
14:51Yeah, that's what I'll do.
14:52Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
14:54No, no, I can't do that,
14:56because who is there, someone else?
14:57I mean, there ain't nobody that I trust to give it back.
15:00In fact, the only person in this whole wide world
15:03I do trust, and you ain't gonna believe this,
15:07is Jesse Duke.
15:09Well, there you go.
15:10Put everything into his name.
15:13Oh, yeah.
15:14Yeah, that's what I'll do.
15:16No, no, no, I can't, I can't,
15:18because Jesse is the uncle of Bo and Luke Duke.
15:21And when the chips are down,
15:23blood is thicker than water.
15:24I mean, when push comes to shove,
15:28blood is thicker than water.
15:32That's who I can trust, Huey.
15:35You.
15:37Me?
15:37Yeah.
15:38Well, you don't know what you're saying, Uncle Boss.
15:41I mean, I've been lying and cheating all my life.
15:44Oh, Huey.
15:45I might swindle you out of everything.
15:47Oh, no, you wouldn't.
15:49Why, remember, blood is thicker than water.
15:53It's gotta be you.
15:54Now then, look, we'll go right down to the county hall of records,
15:59and we'll change all the names on the ledger down there.
16:02But meanwhile, we gotta draw up a paper
16:05and sign it to make everything legal.
16:08Meanwhile, the boys were still retreating
16:10like the Yankees at Manassas.
16:16And old Cletus is like a broken clock.
16:19It's riding at least once in a while.
16:30Hey, look out for Billy Ray.
16:33Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:43Letus, you fool.
16:44You trying to kill me?
16:45What's the matter with you?
16:46Friends, you think farming ain't tough in Hazard County?
16:49Well, don't get hot.
16:51I'm sorry.
16:52Well, looks like everybody's okay.
16:54Yeah.
16:54At least we bought ourselves a little time
16:56to find out who planted that shine in our kitchen.
16:58Well, cousin, I'll give you just one guess.
16:59I'd like to say, a hog can't change his spots,
17:02especially not Huey.
17:03Hey, why don't you get Cooter on the CBCP
17:05and keep an eye out for that little rat?
17:08Hey, crazy, see this here's a lot of shit.
17:09See you right back, dude.
17:14Crazy Cooter coming back at you.
17:16Hey, hope y'all are laying low
17:18because the entire Hazard Constabulary
17:20is out looking for y'all.
17:21Well, they ain't the only ones on them, man.
17:23You ain't seen little Huey hog around, have you?
17:25Oh, yeah.
17:26Him and Boss went in the county building
17:27about an hour ago
17:28and their cars are still parked outside,
17:31so I reckon they're still in there.
17:32All right, then do us a big favor
17:33and let us know which way he goes when he leaves.
17:36We aim to have us a little talk with that man.
17:38I'll keep my eagle eyes out.
17:40That's a big 10 for y'all.
17:41Yeah.
17:43Yeah.
17:45Yeah.
17:46All right.
17:47That's the last one, Huey.
17:50Every blessed thing I got in this whole wide world
17:53is now in your name.
17:55As far as the Infernal Revenue Service is concerned,
17:59I ain't got a peony.
18:02You may have never spoken a truer word
18:04in your whole life, Uncle Bob.
18:05Yeah.
18:08Yeah.
18:11All right, let's go.
18:16You're a special kind of guy, Uncle Bob.
18:19All right there, see you.
18:21Come on now, let's get out of here.
18:23Yeah.
18:38Record-breaker crazy cooter coming at you.
18:40Y'all Duke's home when I has her net?
18:41What's up, crazy C?
18:43Look at here now.
18:43Looks like Boss Hog is headed home,
18:45but little piglet Huey is going out Hopkins Road.
18:49I don't know what we'd do without you.
18:50Thanks a lot, cooter.
19:07How'd the scam go?
19:08Exactly like I said it would.
19:10You know, you make a darn good IRS man.
19:14There we go.
19:16Just a minute.
19:19All right.
19:21Luke, I don't know who that guy is.
19:23If he's dealing with Huey Hogg,
19:24you can bet he's a skunk.
19:26Maybe it's time we taught them both some manners.
19:28Not today, country boy.
19:31All you're going to do is spend time in the federal pen.
19:34What for?
19:35Moon shining.
19:37Come on, let's go.
19:38That's old Huey's minion.
19:40Looks like old Huey's covering all the angles.
19:43Roscoe, ain't you even going to listen to our silent story?
19:45I don't talk to jailbird.
19:48Especially when her name is Duke.
19:50You better go get Boss Hogg to come talk to us,
19:52or he's going to be finished here in Hazard County.
19:54Did you hear that, Cheryl?
19:55Why, they threatened Uncle Boss' life.
20:01Like they say, blood's thicker than water.
20:04The old boss is just about to figure out how thick blood can get.
20:07Hey, what's all that?
20:10What's going on here?
20:11Let me out.
20:12All my things are out here.
20:14Look at here, my barber chair.
20:16My billiard table, my desk, my big fees.
20:20Somebody's going to pay for that.
20:24I've never heard of such a thing.
20:26All my stuff.
20:27I just don't understand it.
20:29What's going on here?
20:31All my stuff is outside.
20:34And all this stuff is in here.
20:38Well, hi, Uncle Boss.
20:40Huey.
20:41What have you done here?
20:43I mean, all these things must have cost a fortune of my money.
20:47Well, that's the way the praline crumbles, Uncle Boss.
20:50I mean, you signed everything over to me.
20:53But that was temporary.
20:55Yeah, but I made it permanent.
20:57No, you didn't.
21:02Yes, you did, didn't you?
21:04I did.
21:04Why would you do something like that to me?
21:07When you called me up to come down here and snooker the dukes, I figured I could make it a
21:12double whammy by nailing you two.
21:15I'm too greedy a pig to just be a hog.
21:18How could you do a terrible thing like this?
21:21Turn it on me, J.D. Hogg.
21:24Your own flesh and blood.
21:27I don't know.
21:30You're right, Uncle Boss.
21:31Well, sure I am.
21:32I'm sorry.
21:34I just, I told you not to trust me.
21:37I knew you wouldn't believe me.
21:39Oh, Uncle Boss, I'm terrible.
21:42I just pray that the devil will forgive me for what I've done.
21:45Well, all right.
21:46All right, Huey.
21:47Now, there's no use crying over spilt chimes.
21:50What's done is dead.
21:52Yeah, well, you don't understand, Uncle Boss.
21:55I went and bit the hand that fed me.
22:00Yeah, and I double-crossed the man that made me who I am today.
22:05Namely me.
22:06Yeah.
22:06And you're not even mad at me.
22:08Oh, no.
22:09I ain't.
22:10I ain't.
22:10I just can't be mad at you on the corner.
22:13You did exactly what I would have done in your place.
22:16Besides, I'm so swelled up with pride over you, I'm about to bust a gusset.
22:22Really?
22:23Oh, thank you.
22:24I knew you'd understand.
22:25Oh, I do.
22:26I do.
22:27Just like you'll understand when you give me back everything you took.
22:33Well, I don't think I could do that, Uncle Boss.
22:36I'd really like to, but I just don't think I can do it.
22:39Oh, yes, you can.
22:40Yes, you can.
22:41On a corner, blood is thicker than water.
22:46Yeah, but money is thicker than blood.
22:50What do you mean by this?
22:52Well, you got nothing to worry about, Uncle Boss.
22:54I'm not repossessing your house until noon.
22:56You ain't gonna take my house, too.
22:58What?
22:59That's the last straw.
23:01You do it over my corpus delectai.
23:03I'll go to the law.
23:05No, you can't do that, Uncle Boss.
23:06See, if you admit to owning any property, that'd be confessing that you cheated on your income taxes.
23:11Oh, thank you.
23:13I'm gonna get back everything you took.
23:16I'll go to my friends.
23:17You don't have any friends.
23:18Then I'll go to my enemies.
23:20I got plenty of those.
23:21Yeah.
23:21Well, I'll tell you this.
23:23You'll have to bring an army.
23:24Hey, you'll have to bring an army.
23:26Get back that paper you signed.
23:27I got three deputies guarding, and I got more coming from Atlanta.
23:31Not to mention this.
23:38Solar steel.
23:41Ain't nobody can get to a solar steel door.
23:45Except maybe.
23:47Them Duke boys.
24:00All right, Tretis.
24:02Here you go.
24:04My old professional kit for $200 to bail both these boys out of here.
24:10No offense, cousin boss, but is this on the level?
24:12I mean, you've been trying to get these guys in jail for a little past week.
24:14Tretis, will you hush?
24:15I think Boss Hog knows what he's doing.
24:17That's what you think.
24:18Now, either of you boys take one step out of here.
24:21It'll be the last walking you ever do.
24:25Wouldn't you like to just bust him one?
24:27I mean, you could just kind of sort of take your pick.
24:34You wait just a minute.
24:35You got no call to hold us here, Boss Hog.
24:37Just bail us out.
24:37Not with that check.
24:39Your account belongs to Huey now, along with everything else you put in his name.
24:43Well, yeah, yeah.
24:44All right, all right.
24:45It's true.
24:45I just signed a paper giving Huey everything I own.
24:48But look, it was only supposed to be temporary.
24:50But now Huey's trying to make it permanent.
24:52Boss, it sounds to me like you ought to be right proud of Huey.
24:55He's just following your own little fat footsteps.
24:57Ah, that's beside the point.
24:59Look here.
25:01I don't intend to take this line down, you hear?
25:03You can take it sitting down in a jail cell with them two.
25:06Get on out of here before I'll bounce you out along with that rubber check.
25:08Here, here, here.
25:10All right.
25:11Here, here.
25:12I know where it is.
25:13For the keys.
25:14Keys?
25:15Keys?
25:15Well, they're right here.
25:17Let's go.
25:17Move it on.
25:18Yeah, all right.
25:19Go for it.
25:20Right, all right.
25:21When Lulu left for the fat farm, she sent her skinny sister, Hortense, to Hazard to keep
25:26an eye on old Boss.
25:28Anyway, old Boss had to turn to his oldest friend and enemy for help.
25:32Huey did what?
25:34Yeah.
25:36Yeah, he swindled me, Jesse.
25:38I mean, I signed away to him everything I owned.
25:42He was like taking candy from a baby.
25:45A fat baby.
25:46Wasn't he, sweetheart?
25:48I told Lulu before she married him, he was going to wind up in jail or the poor house.
25:53Uh, Jesse, speaking of Lulu, look, I promised her to take good care of her sister Hortense
25:58while she was away at the fat farm.
25:59So, look, I ain't asking for myself, but, um, could you please put Hortense up in your
26:05barn till things get straightened out?
26:07Boss, we wouldn't dream of it.
26:08Miss Hortense, you can share my room.
26:11Well, J.D., I guess you're going to have to stay in the barn.
26:14Me?
26:15Now, keep your fat face out of the mule's feed bag, you hear?
26:18Now, wait, I'm in.
26:18Pick up my suitcases, fatso.
26:21Yeah, all right, all right.
26:22I'm doing it.
26:22Be the first honest working dons that you got hitched to my poor unsuspecting sister.
26:26Yeah, yeah.
26:27Are you too dumbing?
26:28All right, all right, all right.
26:30Okay, darling, where'd we go?
26:32Well, I'll tell you one thing.
26:34Old boss sure never had any luck with the women.
26:42Hey, Bo, take a look at this.
26:48Dang it, that pint-sized polecat ain't renaming Hazard after himself.
26:52Look, we can't let him do that.
26:53No way.
26:54Not even if it means pulling boss's fat out of the fire.
26:58Well, Huey's more dangerous than he is.
26:59We got to break out of here.
27:01Oh, sure, just like that.
27:02Lunchtime!
27:03Just like that.
27:06Hi!
27:06Cletus!
27:06Hey, Cletus.
27:07Mind if I eat with you?
27:08No, go right ahead.
27:09Okay.
27:10It'd be a lot easier if you came inside.
27:12Now, while we're in jail, we might as well eat in comfort.
27:14Yeah.
27:14Yeah, but listen, you can't tell Roscoe, otherwise he'll skin me alive.
27:17Not a word.
27:17Not from us.
27:18Okay.
27:19Friends, I think this one's gonna be easy.
27:22Oh, that looks real good, Cletus.
27:23Yeah, give him a hand, Bo.
27:24Yeah, I'll give you a hand with that stuff, Cletus.
27:26Here, I don't think you can handle all of this stuff.
27:28Hey!
27:29Come on, do it!
27:36The boys are escaping.
27:57Come on, let's get out of here.
27:59Freeze!
27:59I'll shoot!
28:01Dang.
28:02We almost made it.
28:04If you wouldn't, it took so long.
28:05If I wouldn't, it took so long.
28:06If you wouldn't, it took so long.
28:08Come on, come on, you two, in.
28:11You?
28:12Out.
28:12And I mean out of the whole entire building,
28:14because you've just been fired for stupidity on duty.
28:17Who are you calling stupid?
28:19Go on.
28:19I didn't just get beat up.
28:20Go on.
28:22Reckon the hamburgers are still warm?
28:24They look more like meatloaf to me.
28:34Y'all may remember that when boss gets upset, he gets nibbles.
28:38Looked like old boss's appetite done cleaned her out, huh?
28:41You reckon he done ate that goldfish?
28:44Nah.
28:45It's a cookie bowl.
28:49Morning, Daisy.
28:50Morning, boss.
28:51Miss Hortense.
28:52You have to excuse J.D., Daisy.
28:54He's got the manners of a goat and the appetite to match.
28:57Well, Hortense, that just ain't true.
28:59Huey's got me so riled up, I can't eat another bite.
29:05Good, good.
29:07Meanwhile, Huey was passing his own version of the ERA.
29:11E for evicting.
29:16R for raising rents.
29:18And A for ambushing the local drivers.
29:25Now, with the boys in jail and Cleetus off the force, the only one left to stand up to Huey
29:30was old Roscoe.
29:31And when it comes to conniving, well, Roscoe was overmatched.
29:34A lot.
29:36All right, Huey.
29:37You little weasel.
29:38Where are you?
29:39Hitch it.
29:40Oh, there you are.
29:41All right.
29:42All right.
29:43You little dipstick.
29:44You know what I ought to do?
29:45I ought to turn you over my knee and blister your backside.
29:48Why are you going to do that, Roscoe?
29:49Just because I sold your patrol car?
29:51No.
29:52Yes.
29:53And I ain't going to forget that either.
29:54But mainly what you're doing to my little fat buddy boss, Ho.
29:57And you ain't going to get away with it either.
29:58Well, you're forgetting one thing, Roscoe.
30:00What?
30:00You see, I'm boss now.
30:02Not if I knocked you in the middle of next week.
30:04Did you?
30:05Roscoe?
30:06What?
30:06Boys, book him.
30:07Would you take him away?
30:08Who?
30:08Who's going to?
30:09Oh, battery.
30:10What is he?
30:10No.
30:11Oh, yes.
30:12Yeah.
30:12You know who you're scotting.
30:13Don't take that.
30:14That's my problem, man.
30:16That's problem.
30:16Listen, I'll stomp you and kick a hole.
30:19Give me the gun, please.
30:19You're going to make me mad in a minute.
30:21Boy, I am a mess of meanness when I get mad.
30:24Then you just scuff me for the last time.
30:26I'm sure just...
30:27Get in there, motor mouth.
30:29Go get you.
30:32Come on, the door.
30:32Get it.
30:35Come here.
30:36Get him in there.
30:39Get in there.
30:44It looks to me like the cowboys and Indians are on the same side.
30:48Where are we going?
30:48Scoop.
30:48Yeet, yeet.
30:51Hurry up.
30:55Come on.
30:56They came in too far again.
31:00Let's go.
31:08There's got to be a hat somewhere in there.
31:10Come on.
31:11Let's take a look-see in the garage.
31:15Hey, howdy, gents.
31:18Okay, Mr. Goodwrench.
31:20We know the Dukes are hiding in here somewhere.
31:23Say do.
31:24Where are they?
31:25Well, friend, be my guest.
31:26You can feel free to look around all you want.
31:29Just stay away from my truck.
31:34Well, what do you know?
31:36Looks like we just struck oil.
31:40Cheer up, friends and neighbors.
31:42At that range, even he might miss.
31:54Hey.
31:55Oh, hey.
31:56Whoa.
31:57Okay.
31:58Chubby, where are those Duke boys?
32:01Well, they borrowed a clunker, and they just headed off down south road a few minutes ago.
32:07I say, listen now.
32:08After you catch those fellas, put in a good word with Huey for me, all right?
32:19Hey, here you go.
32:20Whoa.
32:22Whoa.
32:22Whoa.
32:22Hey.
32:23How do you look?
32:24That's covered.
32:25Ooh, that's scutched.
32:26Oh, there you go.
32:29All right.
32:29You all right?
32:31Yeah, all right.
32:32You all right?
32:32I've been scuffed.
32:33Okay.
32:34Well, we better get in the general and get out to the farm.
32:35We've got to get back that piece of paper boss signed.
32:38We're going to need a couple accomplices for what I've got in mind.
32:41All right.
32:42Let's go.
32:42Come on.
32:46Where in the world have you boys been?
32:48Daisy and Cletus have been going to heal for you.
32:51We was in jail.
32:52Didn't boss tell you?
32:53No, you didn't tell me.
32:54Why didn't you tell me they was in jail?
32:56Well, I, I, I, it slipped my mind.
33:00But look, it don't make no difference now.
33:02Everybody, everybody, we just got to forget all about the past and join forces against our
33:07common enemy, namely my old nephew, an ingrate.
33:11Who is robbing Hazard County blind?
33:14You're dang right he is.
33:15He's so dang crooked he makes you look straight.
33:16Hey, if we don't get that paper back that you signed, he's going to be running Hazard County
33:20forever.
33:21Daisy, you think you could decoy him and his deputies long enough for us to break in and
33:24grab it?
33:25Well, I could give it a go, sugar.
33:27I bet.
33:27Wait just a cotton picking minute.
33:29You're not going to break an enter while I'm on duty.
33:32Look, it ain't breaking and entering, you knucklehead.
33:34It's Hefton and Holland.
33:36On the corner of that paper's in my office safe.
33:38A safe which weighs more than I do.
33:41And it ain't going to be easy, boys.
33:43J.D. tells me that Huey put steel doors on that office and there ain't no windows.
33:47We don't need none.
33:49All we need is a phone call to Cooter and Cletus.
33:51Step inside, gentlemen.
33:53Ladies, too.
33:53Okay.
33:54You know, with the Dukes, Roscoe and the boss are all on the same side.
33:58I sure don't think I'd want to be playing on that other team.
34:08Morning, Huey, sugar.
34:10Sugar?
34:11I always thought you hated me.
34:13Oh, Huey, that's before I got to know you.
34:15Now, I have always admired smart, forceful men.
34:19And seeing that you out-slickered, boss, I know you are both of those things.
34:22Yeah, probably a whole lot more.
34:26Yeah, well, you're learning fast, Daisy.
34:29And Huey, being that I work for you now, I reckon I couldn't say no if he was to ask
34:34me to share this picnic lunch with you.
34:36It's a nice, romantic spot.
34:40Oh, well, you know what?
34:41I never mix business with pleasure, Daisy.
34:44Maybe you and I could take the day off and go on a picnic.
34:47Come on.
34:49I wonder what's keeping Daisy so long in there.
34:53She probably has second thoughts about helping a criminal windbag like you.
35:01Oh, Huey.
35:04Well, I tell you, she got me eating out of her hand.
35:21Hang on tight, Miss Hortense.
35:23Hold on.
35:34Got this thing yet?
35:35Oh, no.
35:37Hey, without help, you're going to get your target in there.
35:40All right, Ross, I just stayed blunt and whistle if you see any trouble coming, all right?
35:44Oh, well.
35:45All right, drop it down, Cleetus.
35:49Let's see.
35:51Look at that.
35:53Ready?
35:54Ho!
35:55Pick her up, pick her up!
36:17Okay, baby, now fire up for me, all right?
36:20Come on.
36:34Sounds like something's wrong with the air conditioning.
36:36We don't have no air conditioning.
36:38Roy, why don't you go outside and take a look-see?
37:06Hold it.
37:07Let me go down here, brother.
37:09Hold it.
37:09Hold it.
37:09Hold it.
37:17Hold it.
37:20Holy...
37:41Things have given me a headache. Go see what's taking Roy so long.
38:00Come on, you. Come on, you buddy.
38:02Come on.
38:29Come on.
38:32Come on.
38:34All right.
38:39Now that there what you're looking at is the only elevator in Hazard County.
39:12All right, Clintus, take her up.
39:32That's what I was thinking.
39:41Old Huey didn't know it, but Daisy had him digging his way into trouble with his own teeth.
39:50That was some powerful, good fried chicken, Daisy.
39:53Well, thank you, Huey, honey. My little dumpling. Wait till you see what I made you for dessert.
39:58Oh, I know what I'm gonna have for dessert. You.
40:01Come here, you rascal. Now, wait a minute. I don't understand this.
40:04Daisy, I mean, this picnic was your idea so you could get me up here alone, wasn't it?
40:07Yeah, I reckon it was.
40:08Well, then why do you keep running away from me?
40:10Well, I got my reasons, sugar.
40:18Like that's their arrow. Huey?
40:22Yeah?
40:22Bye.
40:24Mommy.
40:25And Huey, just to prove us Dukes keep our word, here's dessert.
40:31Somebody turn out the light.
40:32Come on, you did great. Now all we gotta do is keep our fingers crossed for the boys.
40:37I can't see that.
40:43Hang on.
40:45Come on.
40:46Come on.
40:46Come on.
40:47Get her down, Cleetus.
40:48Come on, come on, that's it.
40:49Let's get moved, come on.
40:50There you go.
40:51Here, come on.
40:52All right.
40:53All right, let's get you.
40:54Yes.
40:56All right, get her out, Cleetus.
40:59Now, I'm gonna tie this thing down, right?
41:01Yeah, tie it down good.
41:03All right.
41:03It's the light. We're out of the woods.
41:06All right, all right, all right, all right.
41:08We're going now.
41:09Hang on!
41:09All right.
41:16Thank you, boss, from deputies. You got your ears on.
41:19Well, I got them on, but they're full of lemon and meringue, so speak up.
41:22The Duke boys.
41:23The Elf boss, heist your safe.
41:24They got on the back of a tow truck headed for Capital City.
41:27We're in hot pursuit.
41:28Well, you better be in hot pursuit, because if we don't stop them, we're gonna be out in the cold.
41:37Cooter, can't you speed it up? I can dang near run as fast as you're going.
41:40Hang over here!
41:43We got company, gentlemen.
41:45Right here.
41:46Tell boss to get that safe open as quick as he can. We'll try and hold him off.
41:50Better hurry it up, boss!
41:59Do something evasive.
42:01Take me here.
42:02All right.
42:03Hey!
42:04Come on, Ross. You've done this before?
42:06Well, I was driving.
42:07Help me find the right paper!
42:16Dang it.
42:18Smashing into a moving vehicle.
42:20That is a violation of a 107 if I ever heard of it.
42:23Or is that a 108?
42:32We just joined the party.
42:34Look, tell boss to take them papers and stuff them in a cash bag or something, and we'll pick them
42:39up on a run.
42:40Boss hadn't run in 30 years.
42:43I'm flying, because we ain't got time to stop and pick him up.
42:47All right, get her close.
42:50Oh, he's gonna scuff his fat little body if he jumps.
42:54All right, boss. I've got a three jump.
42:56You want me to get myself killed?
42:58One.
42:59Here.
42:59You do it.
43:01Two.
43:02J.J. Harv, you do it.
43:03Luke says that you won't live long enough to get killed.
43:06Ah! Yeah!
43:07Three!
43:07Jump!
43:08Yeah, yeah, yeah!
43:09Come on!
43:10Oh!
43:10Oh!
43:11Oh!
43:12Oh!
43:13Oh!
43:13Oh!
43:14Hang on in!
43:14Ah!
43:21Just hang tight, Miss Hortense. Everything's gonna be all right.
43:27Yeah, I'm gonna take a shortcut and see if I can cut them off.
43:30Yeah.
43:32Boy, I sure hope that this paper's in this bag!
43:35I'm gonna call her I ain't got the strength to jump back onto that throat!
43:38Hey, you're too fat, anyway.
43:42They're headed straight for the river bottom.
43:44Stick with them, we'll corner them for sure!
43:46Hey, Ma, look on the other side of the creek bed.
43:48Yeah, I see it.
44:01Keep moving! Keep moving!
44:02But if they catch me before I find that paper, I'm a-goin' up!
44:11You can't you go no faster!
44:13Sure I can go faster, but the General can't, not in this kind of track!
44:16Oh!
44:18Oh, I think we got him!
44:19We're gonna beat him to the bridge!
44:33Ha-ha!
44:34Y'all remember this place?
44:35And what was wrong?
44:38Oh, my God!
44:47That must've been smart, eh?
44:49There, I found it!
44:50I'm ready!
45:00Oh, my God!
45:01Oh!
45:02That must've been smart, eh?
45:02Get out of there!
45:03Oh!
45:04Oh!
45:05Oh!
45:06Oh!
45:06Oh!
45:06Oh!
45:07yeah yeah what happened i think you just bought yourself a ticket out of town not to mention out
45:13of my will and out of my whole family altogether because my fine feathered former nephew i just
45:20found that paper in which i signed away to you everything i own just watch this
45:28now what do you think of that
45:32boss worked all night long getting his own name back on the deeds to his own property
45:37with little prodding from hortense
45:42here we have you get out of hazard county and stay out i don't want to see your double
45:47crossing face in these parts again me neither i'm chill you need him i need him
45:53here boss never did find half the papers that he tossed away including about a dozen mortgages
46:02which meant that he couldn't collect on any of them except jesse's and he wasn't about to take
46:07advantage of boss's misfortune with roscoe and cletus back on the job the truce between boss and the
46:13dukes was over and boss gave luke a bill for damaging the roof to the board's nest and roscoe gave
46:19him a
46:19ticket for speeding while he's being chased by old hewitt which put everything in hazard right back to
46:24normal which could drive a wooden person crazy
46:52of course
47:11the
47:11you
47:12you
47:12you
47:12you
47:13you
47:13you
47:14you
47:14you
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