- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes, Lulu Hulk believes in equal rights. Boss doesn't. It's the battle of hazards.
00:08You male chauvinist hog. Retreat.
00:12Roll, roll, roll.
00:13Go, go, go.
00:15Roll, roll, roll.
00:17I think they think that we got what we ain't got.
00:20Oh, no!
00:22Whoa-ho!
00:25Oh, no!
00:26Oh, no!
00:27Oh, no!
00:28Oh, no!
00:35Just a good old boy.
00:38Never meaning no harm.
00:42Beats all you never saw.
00:44Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born.
00:48Straightening the curves.
00:52Planting the hills.
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will.
01:01Making their way.
01:04The only way they know how.
01:08That's just a little bit more than the normal life.
01:13Just a good old boy.
01:17Wouldn't change if they could.
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood.
01:25Woo-hoo!
01:30It was one of them normal laid-back days in Hazard.
01:33Bo and Luke were laid low from a boss hog bum rap,
01:36and had gone fishing.
01:37Which is a great way to hide out.
01:40Lulu Hog was causing more trouble than a newborn baby.
01:43As president of Hazard's Equal Rights Society,
01:46which meant that all women were to become more equal than all men.
01:50And Cletus was tearing up tires, trying to get rid of his last speeding ticket,
01:54so he wouldn't have to pay it.
01:56One of the boss's new rules.
01:58Just a normal day in Hazard.
02:00Of course, Cletus had no way of knowing the car that he was chasing was no ordinary speeder.
02:05We got company.
02:08Oh, dang it.
02:09We get away clean with this bag full of credit cards worth a million bucks on the streets,
02:13and we get a yokel cop on our tail for a speeding ticket.
02:16You can call with that bag and buy us a 10-year rap easy.
02:19Come on, punch it!
02:26One of the nice things about living in Hazard
02:28is that you can get off to Sunset Lake for a little peace and quiet.
02:32That is, a peace and quiet, Hazard style.
02:36Hey, hold on, sir. You hear that?
02:41That's Cletus, Roscoe's a little higher pitched, ain't it?
02:43That's right.
02:44Well, wait a minute, he can't be after us.
02:46We're not speeding the General Lee's parked right down there.
02:48Did you forget the fishing permits?
02:49No, I didn't. I got them right here in my pocket.
02:51All right.
02:56He's sticking to us like a fly to a glue pot.
02:58We gotta do something with this bag.
03:01See that log up there?
03:02Yeah.
03:03Roll behind him.
03:04You sure?
03:05Come back for it later.
03:06Okay. Get alongside.
03:14What was that?
03:18What could be in that bag that them guys are so off fire to get rid of it?
03:22Well, there's only one way to find out.
03:24Let's take a look.
03:25Let's leave these things here.
03:41Let's see what the heck we got here.
03:46There's gotta be a thousand credit cards in there.
03:48Shootin' Luke?
03:49There ain't no names printed on these things either.
03:51Means they gotta be stolen.
03:54It could be used to charge the Lord knows how much money.
03:57Better call Uncle Jesse.
03:57Let's get out of here.
04:03Now, the boys knew that contraband had to be turned over to the law.
04:07But the law in Hazard ain't like the law everywhere else.
04:10The way I see it, you got no choice but to turn that bag over to Roscoe.
04:14Yeah, but they ain't got no names on them.
04:16I mean, it'd be like giving a thief license to steal.
04:18Well, don't you think I know that?
04:20But the law is a law, and Roscoe's about the only law we got around here.
04:25Of course, now, you could keep him on the straight and narrow
04:29if you was to turn that bag over to him in front of witnesses,
04:32and I don't mean J.D.
04:33That's right, Shepard.
04:34That's a big ten for her.
04:35Thank you kindly.
04:37I tell you, he's smart enough to be twins.
04:39You got there.
04:40Hey, what about them fishing poles?
04:42Well, them guys are bound to be heading back.
04:44We best leave them here for now.
04:45We'll come back later.
04:46Let's go.
04:54Don't you need a copy of this?
04:56Uh, yes, I do.
04:58Oh, here.
04:59Oh.
04:59You want this one, too?
05:00You keep it.
05:02Copy, come, come.
05:04Without that incriminating evidence, Dickens and Clark let Cletus catch up to them,
05:08and old Cletus saved himself 25 bucks.
05:17And the bad dudes went back to that bag of stolen credit cards.
05:21And we know what happened here, don't we?
05:28Well, where is it?
05:29I'm telling you, it landed right in here someplace.
05:32Well, it ain't here now.
05:33What are you talking about, one million dollars?
05:36Just knock it off.
05:37Keep looking.
05:39Gotta be here someplace.
05:40Look, that bag didn't sprout legs and walk away.
05:43Maybe it drove off.
05:44What are you talking about?
05:45Remember seeing an orange car over there?
05:48Yeah, but there wasn't anybody in it.
05:49Not that we saw, but maybe they saw us.
05:51Maybe you're right.
06:05You're not giving Roscoe them credit cards.
06:08I feel pretty much the same way, but it's like Uncle Jesse says,
06:11Roscoe's the only law we got.
06:13Yeah.
06:13Let's get back the hands and we can get rid of this stuff.
06:20Oh, I love it. I love it. Hot pursuit.
06:26Speak of the devil.
06:28Roscoe found us before we found him.
06:30Yeah, well, if we let him catch us now,
06:31we're gonna have to turn him over to this satchel without any witnesses.
06:34You don't think he'll understand?
06:35I don't think so.
06:36Well, let's not lead him into the evils of temptation.
06:39Hang on, cuz.
06:44All right, you two boys.
06:45This is Sarah for Scooby Coltrane ordering you to pull over.
06:50Listen, Roscoe.
06:51There's nothing we'd like better than to pull over and talk with you.
06:53But if it's all the same with you, we'd like to do it back in hazard, all right?
06:57All right, you two boys. Now, I'm serious this time.
06:59Listen, you want me to add to all the rest of your crimes?
07:03Like, uh, trying to escape prosecution, uh, resistant arrest,
07:08and, and endangering the life of a police officer.
07:11And these dogs, uh, and that ought to break your probation
07:14into those edsy, bitsy little pieces.
07:16Pull it over. Let's get this over.
07:23I knew it. I knew it.
07:27All right, I'm adding evasive action to that charge.
07:44All right, all right, you dudes.
07:46Free!
07:47There's a reason we wanted to talk to you.
07:49What's the matter? Couldn't stop?
07:50I'm gonna pull the book at you.
07:51Oh, look, Roscoe, we wanted to talk to you.
07:53Like, sir?
07:54I'm really serious this time.
07:55Roscoe, we weren't kidding about wanting to talk to you on the CB.
07:57Now, would you listen to us?
07:58Listen, what do you got in there?
07:59We got this thing. We were bringing it in the hand.
08:01We're trying to tell you that.
08:01Look, how are you buying that?
08:03Listen, what have you buying that?
08:04We take a look!
08:05Oh, oh, freeze!
08:08Freeze!
08:09Get!
08:09Get!
08:10Freeze!
08:14Freeze!
08:15Oh!
08:18Freeze!
08:19Freeze!
08:19Oh!
08:21Oh!
08:23Oh!
08:24Oh!
08:25Hey, Flash!
08:25Let's go!
08:26Flash!
08:28Flash!
08:30Flash!
08:32Flash!
08:33Flash!
08:34If you're gonna be a police lady, you gotta learn to control yourself!
08:38We just...
08:39Will you hurry?
08:40Oh, boy, we really messed up this time.
08:43Flasko's not only got them stolen credit cards, but shoot, without a witness,
08:46people are gonna think we're the crooks that stole them!
08:49Anything else you wanna tell me I don't already know?
08:51With all this cooking, there was enough sweat building to start a flood.
08:56Now, Bo and Luke were sweating about their situation, the bad guys were sweating over
09:00their lost booty, and old boss Hogg was really working up a sweat.
09:04Uh!
09:06Ah!
09:07Yeah!
09:07All right.
09:08J.D., we have got to have ourselves a talk.
09:11All right.
09:11Talk, talk, talk.
09:12I've never been able to stop here before.
09:13All right, so then you just hear me out.
09:15I will.
09:15As president of HERS...
09:17HERS?
09:17What?
09:17...Hazard Equal Rights Society, it is only befitting that I set the first example of
09:23putting down male chauvinism by assuming my rightful legal role in life.
09:28Lulu, Lulu Hogg, what are you talking about? I mean, what's got into my prized little heifer?
09:33Well, to put it plain and simple, J.D., from here on out and from this day forward,
09:38according to community property, I am your full and working partner in all business enterprises.
09:44My full and working partner...
09:45Oh, wait, oh, no, wait, oh, oh, I can't talk, can't talk about this, I'm too starved,
09:49I gotta go eat some.
09:50No, you don't!
09:52That ain't your lunch, that's mine, and that's another thing.
09:54When you get hungry from now on, you are gonna have to fix your own vittles.
09:58My own vittles?
10:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's your job.
10:02A woman's place is in the home.
10:04No more it ain't, J.D.
10:06From here on out, it's in the office as well.
10:09Share and share alike.
10:10And that means equal binning.
10:12Share and share alike!
10:13No, no, no, not on your life!
10:15Your job is in the kitchen, see?
10:17My job is out in the jungle, a fighting and scratching.
10:19Yeah, and you're too frail, I mean, even at your weight.
10:21You know that.
10:22Whereas me, I'm the one who's got to be fighting and making all their money
10:25and out there in the world.
10:26That's the man's, please.
10:28Mm, mm, hold on.
10:31Boss, uh, this is your Roscoe P. Coltrane.
10:34You got your plump little ears on?
10:36Come on.
10:37Roscoe, this is J.D. Hogg answering your call.
10:39Now, listen, just hold everything a minute, because I gotta get myself some lunch
10:42before I can talk to you.
10:45Ah!
10:46It's gone!
10:47Ah!
10:47Heck, bless you.
10:48All right, Roscoe, what is it?
10:50What is it?
10:51Come back.
10:51Oh, boss, listen.
10:53If you'll hurry your fat little bod over to my office in about 15 minutes, I got good
10:58news, good news.
10:59I got enough evidence on those Duke boys to put them away for more years than the hairs
11:04you got on your little chrome dome.
11:06Uh, I mean, uh, that is before you lost your ha-hair, uh, b-
11:11I mean, when you had them on, the- the- the- the- the- the- the
11:14- uh, I'm gone.
11:16There it is!
11:17Roscoe P. Coltrane.
11:19Lulu Coltrane Hall.
11:21Brother or sister.
11:23Just like their mother.
11:25Honey, do you want something to eat?
11:27Oh, no, thank you.
11:29Daisy, you and I have got to have a talk.
11:32Yeah?
11:32Daisy Duke, what kind of work is that for a pretty young woman to be doing?
11:37About the only kind of work boss will hire me for.
11:39It ain't that bad, Lulu.
11:41He gives me 25% of all the tips I earn.
11:43That is slave labor!
11:45Now, you put that dish towel down right now, because Lulu Hogg is gonna set you free.
11:50Thanks, Lulu, but I can't afford to be set free.
11:53Well, you can work for me as my personal secretary and chauffeur at twice what you're making now.
11:58And if J.D. don't like it, he can lump himself right down and complain to hers.
12:04That is the Hazard Equal Rights Society.
12:07Well, I've never felt not equal before, Lulu.
12:11But if that's what hers can do, I'm all for.
12:13Well, then, let's get going. We've got some office furniture to buy.
12:17While things were picking up for Daisy, they were still sliding downhill for old Bo and Luke.
12:22Luke explained to Jesse what happened, and Jesse was ready to lean heavy on Roscoe.
12:27And, neighbor, that is a lot of heavy.
12:29I'm trying to take your word than ours.
12:30Well, he'd better take it or I'd shove it down his throat.
12:34Yeah, well, maybe, but I think the best thing is for us to lay low until we can put our
12:38plan into action and get us out of this mess.
12:40Well, all right. But if you need any help or anything at all, you know where I am.
12:45Thanks a lot, Shepard. We're gone.
12:47Oh, gosh.
12:50Well, what's that plan, huh?
12:52Plan?
12:54Yeah, the plan you just told Uncle Jesse you had.
12:57I ain't got no plan. You crazy? I just didn't want him to worry.
13:00Oh, fine. You didn't want him to worry, so you got me worrying twice as much.
13:04I'll see how we're gonna get out of this mess, and you're making jokes.
13:07Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Maybe we can find them guys or maybe find that card they threw
13:11the credit cards out of us.
13:12What are we gonna do then?
13:13Gonna ask them to go down to Roscoe and tell them that they're their stolen credit cards, not ours?
13:17Maybe if we said please.
13:20Be clever.
13:21Boy, boss, look at all these credit cards.
13:24I tell you, when that judge catches those Duke boys with all these cards,
13:27he's gonna throw them in the slammer and then throw away the key.
13:30Good.
13:32Roscoe.
13:32Good.
13:32What you lack in brains, you make up for.
13:35In sheer stupidity.
13:36Oh, I appreciate it.
13:37Listen, all we need is a little itty-bitty handful of these cards to send the Duke boys to the
13:41slammer.
13:41Oh.
13:42That's for the rest.
13:43Bill, have you got any idea how much they'd bring if we sold them to a certain party I know
13:48in Atlanta?
13:49Oh, let me guess.
13:50Millions!
13:51Millions, millions.
13:52That's right.
13:53Oh, millions.
13:53Everybody uses these here cards nowadays, don't they?
13:55Oh, yeah.
13:56And you can buy anything you want.
13:57Automobiles, clothes, furs, diamonds, you name it.
14:01Let's see, out of all that money, how much you figure I'm gonna make, boss?
14:07Well, you're gonna get 50% of 50% after we deduct 50% from the original 100% for
14:12expenses.
14:17Wait just a pea-picking minute, boss.
14:20That only leaves me with 12 and a half percent.
14:22Oh, well, you end up pretty good, don't you?
14:23But you did it wrong.
14:24I'm into the gross, not the net.
14:26Oh, well, that makes a difference.
14:27Oh, yes, grab it again.
14:30Oh, hello, Mabel.
14:31Listen, uh, this is J.D.
14:32Say hello from Roscoe.
14:33Yep.
14:34Would you forget that and give me this?
14:36Mabel, I want you to give me a certain number in Atlanta.
14:40Huh?
14:42Say, please.
14:44What do you mean?
14:45I haven't got...
14:46Equal rights?
14:47Well, now, look here.
14:50You...
14:51All right, all right, all right.
14:53All right, I'll say, please.
14:54Look here, Mabel.
14:55Huh?
14:57Ms. Tillingham.
14:58All right, all right, Ms. Tillingham.
15:01Would you give me a number in Atlanta?
15:03555 to 555?
15:06Huh?
15:07Police.
15:09You're right.
15:11Spreading like chicken, folks.
15:12Hmm.
15:21That was it.
15:21That was at the orange car.
15:23Come on!
15:31Hey, Luke.
15:32You remember when Roscoe found us before we found him?
15:35I am.
15:36Yeah, well, we don't have to find them bad guys.
15:38Look back here.
15:40They found us.
15:44Well, the way they're making a move on us, I think they think that we got what we ain't got.
15:57Get after it, Bo.
15:58I got my foot to the floor now.
16:02Looks like there's some engine in that thing there.
16:06Thanks.
16:10General ain't gonna take much more of this, either.
16:13Do something.
16:14Well, why don't we do like General Granite do?
16:16What's that?
16:17Retreat.
16:29You sure this is a good idea?
16:30Yeah, don't worry about it.
16:31Don't worry about it.
16:33Got a plan.
16:45Great plan, Bo.
17:00Hold it right there.
17:03Maybe we should have gone fishing?
17:09Okay, nice and easy, boys.
17:12Come on out of the car.
17:13Bring that satchel with you.
17:15Gentlemen are barking up the wrong tree.
17:17We ain't got no satchel.
17:19You're just making it real hard on yourselves, boys.
17:22Search for yourself.
17:24Come on, give them the key.
17:25You can look in the trunk, too.
17:26All right?
17:27Go on, check it.
17:28Nice and easy now.
17:30Here you go.
17:39It ain't there.
17:40Okay, you got 30 seconds to tell me where it is.
17:43Won't take half that long.
17:45Sheriff's got it.
17:46Confiscated the satchel and all them credit cards.
17:48The whole shoot match.
17:49If you don't believe us, you can go ahead and call them.
17:51Use the phone.
17:52It's up by the bus stop.
17:54You boys must think we're a couple of fools.
17:56Asked us to call the sheriff like that.
17:58Now, hold on a minute.
17:59Hold on.
18:00These boys might not have a bad idea.
18:03But if you're lying to me, you're dead.
18:06We ain't lying.
18:08Agreed.
18:09That's the prize.
18:10That's it.
18:10D-I-A.
18:12Delivered in Atlanta.
18:13Delivered in Atlanta.
18:14Good.
18:14Let me tell you.
18:15You just bought yourself a real swell deal.
18:19It's bad.
18:20Look at this.
18:21Rich, rich, rich.
18:22I'm gonna be filthy rich.
18:23Now, I'll tell you the first thing you're gonna do.
18:25What?
18:25You're gonna buy yourself some soundproofing for that wall over there.
18:28Yeah, what is that?
18:29Uh...
18:30Cletus!
18:31Cletus!
18:32Cletus!
18:33What in blazes is going on in there?
18:35That's...
18:36Cousin Lulu, Cousin Boss.
18:37She's moving her furniture into yours and her office.
18:39Hers and mine, what?
18:41What?
18:42What?
18:43No!
18:44No!
18:45No!
18:45No!
18:46No!
18:49What do you want this?
18:50Well, I think right about there, honey.
18:52Don't you?
18:52Right behind you.
18:53Oh, that looks wonderful.
18:55Pretty.
18:56Wait a minute.
18:57Where are you going with this here stuff?
18:58Give it to me.
18:59It's mine, don't you?
19:00Lulu Hall!
19:01What in your tarnation do you think you're doing in here?
19:04Well, what does it look like, J.D.?
19:06We're following our motto.
19:07What's yours is hers and what's hers is ours.
19:09No, you ain't.
19:10You can't do that.
19:11Wait a minute.
19:12Oscar Hunter, would you give me a hand setting up this branch office?
19:14Oh, sure.
19:15Oh, I think I broke it.
19:17Uh, Lulu, what do you want this?
19:19Well, I think over here.
19:21Listen, you just put that back on the truck it came off of.
19:23It's been with a dodo.
19:25Go on!
19:26Go on!
19:26Move with that thing!
19:27Oh!
19:28What do you mean, my branch office?
19:31What she means is that we've already moved into the main office at the Boar's Nest, boss.
19:35Daisy Duke, what are you doing here?
19:37Now, don't you put your two cents worth in here.
19:39Besides, you ought to be over at the Boar's Nest, eating tea rooms.
19:42No more.
19:43Daisy's a her.
19:44Oh, well, I could see that.
19:47I am Lulu's personal secretary and chauffeur at twice the money you were paying me, boss.
19:52Are you kidding me?
19:53What a goody-goody for you.
19:54Well, you just hush your mouths over there.
19:57Lulu, my little pumpkin pie.
19:59You're a woman, and you're frail.
20:02And, uh, running something tough like hog enterprises, that's men's work.
20:07No, it ain't.
20:08No more, you male chauvinist hog.
20:10We women can do anything you men can do just as good or better.
20:14No, you can't.
20:15Yes, we can.
20:15I'll...
20:16Sheriff, there's a phone call for you from Atlanta.
20:19You want to take it in here?
20:19Atlanta?
20:19No, no, no, he doesn't want to take it in here.
20:22He wants to take it in there.
20:23Away from these here women.
20:24Where he can get some privacy.
20:26More privacy in there.
20:27Come on.
20:28When you clean it.
20:29Why?
20:29You take that.
20:30What am I going to do with this?
20:32Oh, ho.
20:33Hey, clean it here.
20:34You got my finger on that.
20:35I'll knock you in a minute.
20:36What?
20:36I'm going to give you one hour to get all this junk out of here.
20:38You hear me?
20:39Roscoe and I have got some important business to tend to.
20:41An hour.
20:43What do we do now, Lulu?
20:44Well, I'll tell you what we do now.
20:46You just put that Florentine hat rack right back there where J.D.'s is.
20:50It'll sort of brighten that corner, isn't it?
20:51Good.
20:52Get easy there, Cletus.
20:53Sheriff, this is Clark for the Atlanta Dispatch.
20:55I got a tip that you busted a stolen credit card ring and got all the evidence.
20:59Oh, well, uh, you could say that's a half negatory and a half pository.
21:03Part yes.
21:04Hello, this is J.D. Hogg as the county commissioner.
21:07What my sheriff means is that, uh, we got ourselves two suspects that we're looking for,
21:12namely Bo and Luke Duke, and as soon as we got them apprehended,
21:16well, then I think we may get our hands on all that evidence.
21:19Bo and Luke Duke?
21:21Thanks, Hogg.
21:22That's all I wanted to know.
21:23These boys are lying.
21:25They still got...
21:25Nice.
21:28Get out!
21:30Get out!
21:32Get out!
21:34Get out!
21:36Get out!
21:38Get out!
21:43Get out!
21:43Get out!
21:44Get out!
21:46Get out!
21:46How did that Atlanta newspaper get a word about all these here credit cards so quick?
21:51Oh, that, uh...
21:52Well...
21:52Unless some blabbermouth...
21:54Not this blabbermouth.
21:56My lips have been as sealed as tight as your money belt.
21:58Yeah, well, they know.
21:59Well, it's not me.
22:00And if they know, then the Atlanta State Police know, too.
22:03Well, that's possibility.
22:04All right.
22:05Then we gotta be doubly, doubly careful about getting these credit cards all the way to Atlanta, you know that?
22:10Oh, listen, boss, listen.
22:11I was just thinking, you know, they might set up a roadblock and examine every vehicle going through there.
22:15Yeah, they might do that.
22:18But...
22:19What?
22:19What if they was being transported in a Hazard County Police car?
22:25Oh, I love it! I love it! A Hazard County Police! Are you kidding me?
22:30You're not gonna use no Hazard County Police car! Not my vehicle! Absolutely not! No way! No!
22:36Would you rather not use your car or make some money?
22:43No...
22:45I thought so.
22:46All right, come on, let's go!
22:47Well, we can't use this here satchel. It's too obvious.
22:49Too obvious.
22:50Go get me a paper bag to put these here credit cards in and we're in business!
22:54Oh, paper bag! Oh!
22:55Yeah, come on!
22:56Let's get up!
22:56Get up!
23:06What are you doing?
23:07I just thought of something.
23:09Look, them guys back there still think we got them credit cards. They ain't gonna stop looking for us till
23:13they find them.
23:13Luke, that ain't exactly news.
23:15No, but they know our names now. All they gotta do is, well, look up our address in a phone
23:19book.
23:19Yeah.
23:20Shoot, we better warn Uncle Jesse and Daisy.
23:22Lost Sheep to Shepherd, Lost Sheep to Shepherd, you got your ears on.
23:26Uncle Jesse, Daisy, come back!
23:31Lost Sheep to Shepherd, are you out there? Come back!
23:34Must be out working at back 40 or something.
23:37We'll have to try again in a few minutes.
23:39Well, when the Duke is right, he's really right.
23:42Cause that's exactly what them heavies was doing.
24:09Morning, boss.
24:10Well, hello, Murky. How's business?
24:12Business great, boss.
24:13Oh, it is. All right, all right. I'm glad to hear that.
24:15Me too.
24:16Say, listen, as a reward then, why don't you just go get yourself a nice hot cup of coffee?
24:22Already got me a cup, boss.
24:23Hmm? Let me see that.
24:26Oh, ice cold.
24:29Here, go get yourself a real hot cup of jibber.
24:32Yes, sir.
24:33Take all the time you want. Take 20 minutes.
24:35Take more.
24:3630 minutes, jibber.
24:37Yeah.
24:41Listen, boss. You know what? I can't understand.
24:43Why in the world did we have to drive all the way out here to your used car lot?
24:47Why?
24:48Yeah.
24:48Well, for the simple reason that we couldn't very well use Cooter's Garage to take off the inside door panel
24:54of your patrol car to hide them credit cards in.
24:56How could we?
24:57Oh, to hide them there in Cooter? That's a brilliant idea. Where'd you get that idea?
25:01Oh, I've seen some men do it once. In a moving picture show. Were they crooks?
25:08Uh, yeah. Maybe they were.
25:10Oh, come on. Don't screw that thing, will you? Come on. Hurry it up.
25:13The sooner we're done, the sooner I get me some lunch.
25:15Oh, I could use a little myself. Look at you.
25:18Try them again.
25:20Lost sheep to shepherd. Lost sheep to shepherd. You got your ears on. Come back.
25:32That's all of them, I think.
25:33All right, there. Come on, that does it. Let's go on start.
25:35Oh, listen, boss, may I ask you a question?
25:38What?
25:39Uh, listen, are you sure of this? You think it'll be safe, you know, leave my patrol car here with
25:43those credit cards in the door?
25:44Well, it is your patrol car, ain't it? Right.
25:46And it is my used car lot, ain't it? Right.
25:48Well, what could be safer than that? Well, I think...
25:49Come on, let's go.
25:50Boys, I'm back.
25:52You're working.
25:53Got me a nice hot cup.
25:54Well, don't spill it on me, will you? Just move it.
25:57Listen, it took you 30 minutes to get here.
25:59I'm taking that out of your commission.
26:01Come on, let's go.
26:03Roscoe, I want to get me some lunch.
26:04Oh, that's a good idea. Can I join you?
26:06Oh, I'd like that.
26:07Yeah.
26:08I'd be very happy to be your guest.
26:10Oh, well, that's good.
26:11Did you say guest?
26:14I know.
26:16Well, it had to happen.
26:29Eh?
26:44He didn't even flinch. Duke chickens are tough. You ought to try to eat one.
26:54look old man them boys got a bag that belongs to us and we want it so i'm not gonna
27:01waste the next
27:01one well you would be wasting the next one because them boys ain't got the bag sheriff
27:07coltrane's got it and we already heard that song old man and we run that patience fast
27:13now you tell me where them boys of yours got that bag we're gonna tear this place apart
27:19starting with you lost sheep to shepherd lost sheep to shepherd you're out there come back
27:23right here old man uncle jesse daisy you hear me come back uncle jesse daisy you out there come
27:30back your uncle's right here boys safe and sound for the time being now as soon as that old man
27:36tells us what we want to know we'll be on our way but if he don't i can't say how
27:42safe and sound he's
27:43gonna be well for how long we know that the sheriff told you that he ain't got them credit
27:49card but you got to believe me listen he's only saying that because boss hog and he figure on
27:52selling them himself the boy is right that coltrane and hog are so crooked that when the time comes
27:59the undertaker's gonna have to screw them in the ground give me that thing now you listen to me
28:04and you listen real good i don't care all i want's the bag now maybe what you say it's true
28:10maybe not
28:11i'll tell you what we're gonna do we're gonna give you one hour to get it and bring it back
28:14here
28:15or the next time you see your uncle bring some flowers now uncle jesse's life's on the line
28:21yeah well you heard the man come on let's roll you realize by stealing them credit cards back from
28:25roscoe and giving them these guys we're breaking the law no less than they are i don't see we got
28:29much
28:29choice do you no but once we get uncle jesse back we're gonna have to nail them boys good i
28:33got no
28:34quarrel with that come on let's go
28:37boys did you notice something what lulu's moved into your bank what my bank right look how do you
28:45mean well gee oh you're right you're right my bank it's my bank and look at that she's stolen it
28:51well that you ain't going oh no oh no no no no no look at my funeral home she's overtaken
28:56my
28:56undertaking too it's that dang has an equal right society she calls hers well well they seem to be
29:04wheeling and dealing don't they i wonder if there's any room for a his in hers you do well i
29:09wonder how
29:10a jackass like you got to be sheriff around here all right come on take me to lunch before that
29:14sister
29:14of yours takes over half my appetite too come on i sure hope boss don't fire me for this oh
29:30fear not
29:31mr merkin you always got half a job working for me now what else we got to cover daisy well
29:37let's see
29:37now we have the hog real estate development the all night drive-through grocery hog's yummy bakery
29:42and we have road hog supply trucking company oh well we'd best get to it the time has come for
29:48the women folk to take their rightful place alongside the men folk long about now sheriff
29:53little of chickasau the meanest sheriff in the south was headed for hazard abigail now you finish that
29:59up and meet us over at road hog trucking you hear we've got a lot of work to do
30:05from the bedrooms to the offices to the paychecks we bring home we will find our female bad
30:16well what brings you all the way over here from chickasau county sheriff well i'm shopping around
30:21all the used car lots i'm looking for a good used car a good used car a good used car
30:28a good used car
30:31well we got one right here raring to go and we'll make you one sweet deal
30:36miss hog hush now mr merton we can take care of this ourselves but but but out honey this is
30:42a hog lot
30:43now sheriff i'll tell you what i'm going to do come on i'm going to give you a fine price
30:48on this here
30:48car and in addition i'm going to throw in four spanking new tires oh color's wrong chickasau
30:56cars is green and white well we can paint it green and white in no time at all
31:00hmm well man's got to be crazy doing business with a hog touted by a duke but if the price
31:07is right
31:09lulu and daisy not only sold the car they agreed to repaint and deliver it that afternoon
31:14now i reckon y'all remember what's hidden in the door don't you
31:18there you are my dear oh my now when are you going to deliver it
31:36i tell you uncle jesse kick our tail if he found out we were stealing
31:41you can try to help him out get the door
31:48you don't have to worry about feeling bad about this because there ain't nothing to steal
31:52credit cards are gone boss and roscoe must have been awful anxious get into business
31:55they dug six feet uncle jesse's grave in the me time luke we look we got a little over half
32:00an
32:00hour to find them and find out what they did with them cards luke what happens if we don't find
32:03them in time i'll take the empty satchel and get cooter to give me a ride out to the farm
32:07but if they just see it it might buy us some time uh why don't you take the general and
32:10see if you
32:11can scout out boss and roscoe and them cards all right let's get out of here now bo wasn't about
32:15to be the only one who's gonna have a hard time finding them stolen credit cards because boss and
32:20roscoe not only lost them cards but roscoe's patrol car to boot my little did what she had roscoe's car
32:27painted green and white and is driving it over to sheriff little's office and chickasaw right now
32:31i tried to tell her you only left it here when you went to lunch but she wouldn't listen
32:36lulu hall this is your husband calling you you hear oh hey jd i'm right here i don't care where
32:43here is you just change it to there and you get that patrol car of mine back here and i
32:48mean to
32:48my used car lot and i mean on the double you hear jd this car has been sold and we
32:54are delivering it
32:55to sheriff little as ordered she did get a good price for it though oh i don't care what you
33:01got for it
33:01you're no skull oh oh boss listen i was just thinking if sheriff little looks inside that panel
33:07and finds that you know what's in there he it my patrol car my personalized patrol car he's gonna
33:12zip her lip button your lip
33:16lulu lulu honey listen little buttercup whatever you got for that there car let me just tell you
33:21it's got to be worth at least a hundred times more than that you hear me that may be so
33:27but a deal is a
33:28deal honey hello i'm so fooling around with you you get that car back here i'm the double and that's
33:33an order jd i'm a free woman and i don't take orders from no one now this is 10-4
33:39and we are gone
33:41i sure sounded all head out blue lulu oh it's just typical male chauvinism daisy
33:46men can't stand to see a woman get ahead is all yeah have a bonbon honey
33:53well what are you sitting there for knucklehead you mean me i mean you come on come on come on
33:57get this over to the county courthouse so i'll get another patrol car and we go after her well why
34:02can't we use this car this car yeah well it ain't built for speed no it's built for beauty don't
34:07you
34:07know that i don't want nothing happening to it come on move it move it right here
34:12things were really starting to cook and as boss and roscoe were preparing to chase after lulu and
34:17daisy bo spotted roscoe and boss after looking all over for them and as soon as they drove off
34:23merkin thinking everyone had gone crazy told bo all that he knew that was enough for old bo to
34:29start putting some pieces together
34:39i was almost up old man sure hope them boys of yours didn't take a powder
34:43you don't know bull and luke they know what they gotta do they'll do it
34:51one way or another you wait and see i hope so
34:57for your sake as well as ours you really think you're something big with that gun don't you
35:07meanwhile luke and cooter was moving along right through the hazard car wash and on down the road
35:13i knew we could count on you cooter hey i wouldn't miss a little world
35:24ten minutes left
35:25when you're traveling through hazard you never know who or what you're gonna meet on the way
35:41no wonder hazard folks can drive so good they do get some practice
36:01hey buddy you lost your load
36:08now look who do you got your ears on this here co come back
36:11that's allowed to clear bo
36:13lulu and daisy just sold roscoe's the crow car to sheriff little and they're in it right
36:16now driving it over to chicasaw county yeah but what's that got to do with them credit cards
36:20boss and roscoe are hot after it which means only one thing them credit cards must be in it
36:24someplace look you're gonna have to get to them first
36:27now me and cooter are on our way to the farm i'm gonna try and bluff them fellas with the
36:31empty set
36:31we're gone
36:32so are we when them heavies heard jesse cb and knew where their credit cards were
36:37they took off after daisy and lulu which is exactly what boss and roscoe was a fixing to do
36:43now i think they're fixing to have a typical hazard reunion
36:46wait oh sorry
36:48hi roscoe hi cletus
36:50cletus listen i'm condimentary i'm condeering i'm i'm taking your vehicle
36:55what's wrong with yours lulu sold mine it's now a patrol car over in chicasaw county
37:00you chicasaw county patrol what
37:02cletus will you just stop trying to figure out everything
37:04you look nuts just go get yourself another patrol car and roll roll roll
37:09roll roll
37:12you're not gonna sell mine are you
37:17jesse you all right
37:22they heard you and bull talking on the cb and they took out after lulu and daisy faster and a
37:27hot
37:27knife through soft butter so we better give them a call on the radio and let them know they got
37:31company coming they're gonna need a lot of help those men are mean real mean well we ain't doing
37:36no good john here come on with me in the pickup all right here we'll be right behind you
37:49hey ball this is lulu got your ears on yeah this is your phone this did y'all get to
37:53the farm
37:53how's uncle jesse he's fine he's sitting right next to me that two fellas took off before me and
37:57cooter got there now they know about daisy and lulu you ain't heard of anybody yet
38:02no not so far just me and the birds well you better switch over to the police channel
38:05you gotta tell daisy expect company
38:15i just thought i ought to tell you that police car you're driving is hotter than a pistol and loaded
38:20with stolen credit cards what with what what are you talking about stolen credit cards lulu and i
38:27got a strong feeling the guys that stole it's gonna be hot on your tail any minute
38:31oh hear that hear that well not only do the dukes know where them cards are now but sue to
38:36the crooks
38:37they got them from in the face please you know something that just gauze my gizzard you can't
38:41keep a secret around these parts at all nowadays and he can say that again because sheriff little is
38:46also a part of the listening audience and he just loved audience participation so i suggested
38:52everybody watch real close because things could get a mind confusing because here comes that
38:57has a reunion we were talking about luke the fellas you're talking about are driving a black sedan
39:03honey they're on my back porch right now what's your 20 cottonwood road heading south yeah listen
39:08i'm just about reaching the uh cottonwood sand ridge road intersection cottonwood road heading
39:13south come on come on listen don't you fret little fat buddy i'm gonna catch them this time
39:19remember my name is roscoe p coltrane well you know what if you don't catch them your name is mud
39:37that deal
39:38typicallydens hog calling sheriff coltrane come back
39:40peter you dipstickersrs roscop where in the heck you been
39:44Well, I've been around, but right now, I'm alongside of you, below you, on Flatbond Road.
40:03Well, at least they're saving gas.
40:08You lucky had a good way to do it. Look what you're doing.
40:11Thank goodness you did chase him in my beautiful car.
40:14Well, listen, if you think you can drive any better, here, you do it.
40:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no, give me this. We're going to go out of control.
40:22Well, how much control do you think we got? We're ten feet off the ground.
40:27Leading, Leading, Leading, Leading, Leading, your superior officer speaking.
40:30Now, listen, you're going to have to steer us down there while we're up here.
40:34Ain't no way, Sheriff. Well, I hood's up, I can't see anything.
40:38You can't see nothing, I'll steer, I hope.
40:40Oh, that's a big ten-four clean issue, right?
40:44There it is.
40:45Oh, there it is. Left, left.
40:49Fire, fire, fire.
40:52Here, go.
40:54Left to the right.
41:07All right, Joe, get out of that car.
41:09Come on, get out of there.
41:11Come on. Move it.
41:13Now, listen here, young man. You may think you own the road, but we have just as much right to
41:18it as you do.
41:19Lulu, there's no such thing as equal rights when they got a gun on you.
41:23Oh, my.
41:23I'm going to go search the car.
41:24Not now.
41:25There are too many people looking for this car.
41:27Let's go someplace where we got some time.
41:29Okay.
41:30All right. You, get in the back.
41:33Come on.
41:33Go.
41:34You get in the front.
41:36Get in.
41:36You be careful with her.
41:53Oh, this is Jesse.
41:55Any sign of Daisy here?
41:57Uncle Jesse.
41:59Hey, y'all, wait a minute.
42:00Wait a minute.
42:01They're crossing it right now.
42:02Hey, you and the orange car listen to me.
42:04I got the car. The car's up to two ladies, so if you don't know to see nobody get hurt,
42:07turn around and go home.
42:09Well, let's not take no chances, Poe.
42:10If you're like the man says, I meet you on Route 66.
42:13You got it.
42:14Switch over to channel 33.
42:1638, Poe.
42:18There you go.
42:19You there?
42:20Yeah, hang it right with you, cuz.
42:21Pretend like you're going to drop out.
42:23You know, hang back.
42:24I'm going to cut across dry creek, and I should be able to cut them off at Hidden Pines.
42:2910-4, good buddy.
42:30I'm gone.
42:35Dad Blaston, them fielder crooks have got a hold of my most prized possession.
42:39I know, poor Lulu.
42:40I was talking about that credit card.
42:42No.
42:43Of course, I don't want nothing to happen to Lulu.
42:44No.
42:45No, not Daisy, neither.
42:49No.
42:50No, what?
42:50No, that's Jesse's truck right there.
42:52No, he's going to beat us.
42:54He's going to beat us.
42:55No, no, it's not a bad thing.
42:56No, frog is to death, please.
42:58Watch out for that.
42:59No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
43:03What the hell are you doing?
43:09Well, look at that.
43:10They must have dropped a bit.
43:12Well, they're sneaky little women critters.
43:14We got them, Mr.
43:17Oh, God.
43:18Oh, God.
43:19Oh, God.
43:20Oh, God.
43:24Lulu!
43:25Hey, Lulu!
43:26I got you, Lulu!
43:27All right.
43:28Lulu, we got you.
43:29Hey!
43:30Oh, uh-oh.
43:31Oh, you're a Lulu.
43:33You're not Lulu.
43:34Well, it looks like we made a little mistake.
43:36Wrong.
43:36You boys made a big mistake.
43:38Oh, but you got it!
43:57Nick, you boys don't listen.
43:59We got that orange car and a pickup truck on our tam now.
44:01Take care of it.
44:03Sit still, Lulu.
44:09Sit still, Lulu.
44:10What?
44:11Ah!
44:13Come on, Danny.
44:15I got them all dressed up back here.
44:16Good girl, Lulu.
44:21Now, that's pretty slick, even for Hazler.
44:25The stolen credit cards was returned to the bank.
44:27Cash or credit cards, you get what you pay for.
44:31And Bo and Luke was cleared and free, while Clark and Dickens would be paying for the next
44:35ten years.
44:37Boss was paying through the nose, too.
44:39Not only wouldn't Sheriff Little let Boss off the hook for Roscoe's patrol car that Lulu
44:43sold him, but Boss also had to pay for all the repairs on Little's own car.
44:48And this was the least of his problems.
44:50Listen, everybody.
44:51Could you quiet down, please, honey?
44:54I have something I want to say.
44:57I'm throwing this here party for two reasons.
44:59And the first reason is that I want to thank Daisy and all the Dukes for saving my life.
45:10Oh, mercy, I tell you.
45:12And the other thing I want to tell you is that I will no longer be running my half of
45:16J.D.'s business enterprises.
45:18Oh, well, that's a relief.
45:20That's good.
45:21The reason she won't be able to work with Boss is because Lulu Hogg is formally announcing
45:25that come next election, she's running as the first candidate of hers for County Commissioner
45:31of Hazzard.
45:32Woo-hoo!
45:37Woo-hoo!
45:40Woo-hoo!
45:41Woo-hoo!
45:42Woo-hoo!
45:44Woo-hoo!
45:45Woo-hoo!
45:45Woo-hoo!
45:46Woo-hoo!
45:47Woo-hoo!
45:48Woo-hoo!
45:50Woo-hoo!
45:54Woo-hoo!
46:14Oh, yeah, yeah, dude.
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